All language subtitles for You.Me.Her.S04E04.Probably.A.Butt.Thing.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

Previously on "You Me Her"...

And she says
that my voice is like nails

on the chalkboard
of her soul.

Am I your first patient?Brian, I quit.

Emma: What's going on
at Will and Marty's house?

Carmen:
Oh, that's Binge Club.Binge Club?

All the stay-at-home parents
meet up at Marty's

bingeing the latest
and greatest TV shows.

I want the job.Helping entitled rich kids
with their faux damage?

Oh, I have one condition.

I just need you
to admit one student.

Her name is Sasha,
and she was homeless

up until two months ago.

Nathan went through
a nasty divorce,

and I figured
I could give him some support.

She cheated on me.

Yeah, that happens to the be--With my brother.

And I'm just trying
to purify myself

so that someone
might love me.

All I learned is that
I loathe listening to people

whine about their problems.

You like telling people
what to do.

Why not do that
right here?

You dole out the advice,
I dole out the drinks.

It's the perfect hook
for this place.

You'd really do that for me?

Babe, it's win/win.
Yeah.

Oh!

♪♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh

Great. Thank you.

Thank you.

So, what's good,
sweet child o'mine?

Seems as though this high-school
counseling gig is gonna stick.

Made it two weeks
without getting fired,

which means my name
is going on the mortgage.

House is just as much mine
as it is Jack and Emma's.

That's great, Iz.

You're --
You're goin' all in.

Yes. I'm giving your rehab
wisdom a shot, you know?

Good.Trying to love their life.

And with Emma on a break,
I think they actually need me

to get the loan,
as hilarious as that sounds.

Great.
Well, that must feel good,

to be needed.
Yeah.

I mean, Emma keeps repeating
"our" and "we" about the babies,

you know,
making sure I feel equal.

Dear God,
the heartless shrew.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, she left a Google
search up on her laptop:

"Tri-custody."

It just feels like this is
all about softening the blow

for when they tell me
they definitely don't want

any more kids.

It's a lot.Yeah.

Let's, uh,
go for a walk.

Yeah.
Gotta get to work.

Walk it off,
as they say, hey?

Yeah, walk this way.Walk it off.

Okay. Ready?
Yeah.

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh

Oh, my -- my eyes!
Okay, okay.

-Sorry.
-Honest, guys?

I'm, uh, installing
the soap dispensers today

if you wanna wash
your eyeballs.

You know what?
Good on you.

Soak it up while you can,
because guess what.

One day real soon, it'll be
all about morning sickness

and mortgages
and -- and block parties

and fucking kale.

Okay?
There's so much kale.

Like, where has
it been all this time?

I'm having nonstop skeletal
tremors, and I do not hate it.

[ Mockingly ] Oh, are you?

You're welcome.

Ugh! Sonofa --

I'm glad somebody's
enjoying all this sex.

Emma's biologically occupied
with little Jizzy and Jemma.

Meanwhile, having sex
without her

while she's there
just feels super-weird.

Shaun: Jesus.

I've heard worse names
on "Teen Mom Appalachia."

Bye, Shaun.Bye, Shaun.

No, I don't get to hear
any more about Izzy's sad life?

Bye.No.

[ Whimpers ]

She's gotta leave the house
at some point, right?

Oh, she did join this daycare
co-op down the street.

She abducted Carmen's kids
so they'd let her in, so...

Oh, problem solved:
Just text Jack,

pull a naughty nooner,
ooh, la, and la.

Yeah. Uh...
Hmm?

Oh, God.
You guys are lame.

Seriously, you need
poly therapy.

You're like the deaf leading
the blind leading the stupid.

C'mon. That's not a thing,
"poly therapy."

[ Clears throat ]

Hey, Siri, find, uh,
"Poly Therapists, Portland."

Siri: Here's what I found on
the Web for "Poly Therapist."

[ Cellphone chimes ]Hm. Oh.

There's 8 of 'em.Stop looking so smug,

chick-who-tossed-away
eight-years-of-education-

five-minutes-
into-her-fourth-session.[ Gasps ]

Oh! Oh, no, you didn't!Yeah, I did.

All right, I'm still
a therapist, okay?
Mm-hmm.

In fact, you're, uh -- You're
leaning on my office right now.

What?
Mm-hmm.

Mm. Yeah, give me $5,
and I'll cure you right up.

[ Scoffs ]

No, I'm serious.
Give me $5.

I don't know
why I do this with you.

Honestly, every time,
it's like --

I don't have a $5.
Yeah.

I'm a hot female bartender
under 30.

People tip me for existing.Go on, then.

Um, polyamory by its most
fundamental definition

rejects monogamy.
Well, duh.

Yeah, I mean, you guys
are what is derisively known

as "polymonogamists."That's a thing?

Uh, according to the preemptive
Portland poly authority,

you guys are trying to jam your
pervy, triangular-shaped peg

into the round hole
that is suburban monogamy,

and you're doomed to break
one, the other, or both.

You're so dumb.

That's, like...

Dumb?

So...

dumb.

Well said. Scathing.

Very convincing.

Mm-hmm.
Mm.

"Polymonogamy."

That's so...

dumb.

[ Rock music plays ]

♪♪

Emma.
And Emma's practice kids!

Hi!
Hey!

Mwah! Mwah!
Mwah! Mwah!

Oh, okay.
Hey, kiddies.

Okay.
Go play, girls.

Madame President!

Oh, me? [ Chuckles ]

It only took her two weeks
to get elected to a position

we didn't deem necessary
until she showed up!
Oh!

-Thank you.
-So impressive!

Thank you.
Oh, my gosh. I am...

I am so flattered.
Thank you.

Shiraz for everyone,
yeah?

Yeah.
Cool.

I accept.

♪♪

Come on.

Is there a place
in this building

that you haven't prepped
for spontaneous sex?

Gross.Dude is seriously next-level,

which is obviously awesome,
but also terrifying

in ways
I don't even understand.

[ Pool balls clink ]

Really? "Strut"?

Seriously? God.
[ Sniffs ]

Even his antiperspirant
is cocky now.

[ Chuckles ]

So, Shaun's now suddenly
your boss and a sex ninja

while you're stuck in
your quarter-life crisis goop.

That's a big-ass shift
in the power dynamic.

That's rough.

No, that guy worships
the ground I walk on, okay?

And rightfully so,
I might add.

I don't know.
He's been twinkling

like a ginger-hued
shootin' star these days.

Well, even suns become
big, black empty holes.

Yeah, until they gradually
devour everything around them.

Comfy, right?

Yeah, it's nice.Yeah, it's nice.

It's, um --
It's one of our special places.

Gross!
We really broke it in.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna
hurry up and burn these clothes

before I have
to meet Nathan.

We grab smoothies
before work, okay?

Alert TMZ.Mm.

Aren't you two
gettin' real chummy real fast?

Whatever. [ Sighs ]

He helped me,
so I'm helping him.

I give him
"homework assignments"

to pop that post-divorce stick
out of his ass.

Like, this morning,
he has to order

a smoothie
with a stupid name.

[ Chuckles ]
And how cute is that?

Stop making it
something it's not, okay?

He's a wounded bird.
He just needs a friend.

Interesting.

And does he also dig
pizza and downtown?

Does he, um -- Does he want
precisely three children?

Zeppelin over Stones?

[ Laughs ]

At least one of those things
is true.

You're test-driving him,
hmm?

Shaun: Neen? Neen?![ Gasps ]

[ As Igor ]
Master's calling.

You better go.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, boy.

♪♪

[ Car alarm chirps,
ringtone plays ]

Hey. I should probably lead
with the fact

that I sold our children.[ Up-tempo music plays on TV]

Closet didn't work out.

Made an executive decision.

Wow. Okay.

Well, can I say this

now that they're no longer
in the picture?

They were too loud.

So much
unmotivated vocalizing.

And they don't know anything
about anything.

They don't read.
They don't travel.

They're -- They're useless
at trivia night.

I'm still in bed,
by the way.

Oh, you masturbate
to "Fluppies"?

That's not weird.

I hadn't thought of that yet,
but no.

I'm trying to re-create the
last time inspiration struck.

I'm confident the second book

is at the bottom
of this glass of Rosé.

I can feel it.

Oh, well, I'm happy
one of us gets to --

I miss you.

Really?
Yeah.

I mean, I might be
a little morning drunk,

as it is commonly known.

But is it?
Is it really?

I just can't stop thinking
about you.

Or the kid or home.
You know.

Or you.
[ Sighs ]

[ Knock on door ]

Dave, I have a...

I have a confession.

It's been...

really hard watching you live
your best Chrissy Teigen life

while the local diddly-fuck
journalism association

won't even toss me
a craft shop plaque.

Getting beat out
by Oregon Poultry Life

is a hard chicken nugget
to swallow.

Really?

Poultry Life,chicken nugget,
hard to swallow?

Nothing?

Dave?
Are you still there?

Honey! My --
My breakfast dessert is here.

Will you please hold?
Please hold.

♪ Ba-da-bup, da-da, bup-ba

♪ Ba-dup, ba-ba-ba,
be-bup-bup ♪

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Hm.

Breakfast dessert.
Yeah.

Love breakfast dessert.

[ Dramatic music plays]

[ Sighs ]Oh, my God.

[ Sniffles ]I'm broken.

I can't with this show.

-It broke me.
-Ugh!

Actually, if everyone
could just put down

their "Who We Are and Who
We Aren't" discussion binders

for a minute, I have, um --
Ooh! [Sniffles]

I have something important
to say.

First, thank you
for making me your president.

And as president --Will: [ Parrotlike ]
Polly likes to say president.

Bawk!
Polly likes to say president.

Very clever, Will.

I will never tire
of your parrot jokes.

Anyway, I always assume
that as "stay-at-home moms,"

you'd given up
on your dreams, your careers,

proper fashion, fitness...

but I realize I didn't know
"Who You Are" at all.

And, today,
when Sebastian revealed...

When Sebastian
revealed to Chloe

that he wore
those off-brand polo tops

because his deceased wife
bought them...

Rest in peace, Agnes!

Woman:
I can't believe it.

...I realized
how judge-y I'd been.

And I owe you all
an apology.

I have gotten to know
each and every one of you,

and I see how truly unique
and accomplished you are.

Michelle.

I always thought
those homemade relish trays

you brought to every
single neighborhood event

was a little bit tired,
but I had never tried it.

Your cranberry-pickle

next-levels a Brie
like nothing else.

Audrey.

[ Sighs ] I thought
your choice of Crocs

for the Christmas party
was...

well, frankly,
a call for help.

But I now realize
that plantar fasciitis

is the price you paid
for late nights

walking the halls
with a colic-y baby

and those long days
petitioning

for that life-saving
"Slow Children at Play" sign,

which, you know, could be
misinterpreted. It probably is.

But most definitely
saves lives.

Marty: Yeah.
Needs a comma.

Do something.
She's going full Kanye.

Well...You've all been
so helpful

and welcoming
with "my" kids.

And my version of success
was too tied up

in titles and money,
and I really --

Money and titles!

That is a wonderful speech.

That's what you need to be.
-Whoo!

I-I-I was
just getting started.We know. We know.

We're just -- It's --Woman: Thank you.

We're just gonna go
to the next episode now.

♪♪

Uh, my name.

Mike.

Ahk.

Yep.

Okay.

Thank you.
[ Pops lips ]

See? You survived.Yeah.

Her disapproval
gutted me.

You know, I have
four meal subscriptions

because the cold callers

were all woman
I didn't want to disappoint?

[ Chuckles ]

Okay, so...
[ Sighs ]

Your next "Izzy-Does-
Hawthorne" assignment.

Mm-hmm.Organize a suburban gathering.

Oh.Block party, uh, baby shower,

clam bake, your call,

but there must be at least
three mayonnaise-based salads...

Mm.
...and I will need to see
the aggressively dorky E-vite.

Mm-hmm. I assume
you'll be in attendance

to verify that it's
all suitably humiliating?

Uh, I'll show up
if -- if you promise

to get the, uh,
Housewife Wedge

with that lump
in -- on the crown, yeah.

Well, the joke's on you...
Oh?

...because I've always
wanted that haircut.

Oh.Also, I'm already planning
the EJI Anniversary Party, so...

Edgy?
Yeah, EJI.

Hmm.
Emma-Jack-Izzy.

Oh.
I have a tattoo on my ass.

You wanna see it?
No.

No, because that,
you know.

Uh, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but, uh, I don't need evidence
of your poor choices.

You kind of radiate
their collective sum.

Shut up.
Ow.

My Cock?
[Mike Ahk]

Thank you.

Your next assignment

is inappropriate day drinking
before 5:00 p.m.

Uh, you do know
I am the vice principal

of a very prestigious
private school, right?

Right?Well, we work exclusively
with teenagers.

So how is
that not a reason to drink?

Fair.

Mm...
All right,
come on, Mike Ahk.

That's my name!

♪♪

[ Rock music plays ]

You feeling it?
You feeling it?

There's a dead animal
on the wall.

Straight razors,
strong black coffee.

Upstairs there's
a tequila bar/boxing club.

Made a reservation.Mm.

If there was
an aerial photo of this place,

it'd be shaped
like a turgid penis.

Or should be.

Uh, coffee. Black.

I'll have a medium roast,
if you have it.

Light and sweet.

Also, agave,
'cause I usually have...

Um, anything but stevia,

'cause that really makes
my stomach turn into -- What?

Um...do you not --

Mm.Uh, black is fine.

Yeah. Yeah.Yeah, that's cool.
Just black.

Well, this Nathan dude
clearly isn't the solution

to your inability to relate

to other men
who aren't equally effeminate.

Nathan's a good guy.

He just needs an ear
and a shoulder,

and I happen
to have two of both.

That's the problem right there:
We're not "women."

We don't "listen"
to each other.

We wage battle
until we know the sweet peace

of occupying our rightful place
in the hierarchy.

That's what we do.
Right?

You know, this joint
may be hipster bullshit,

and this guy's attempt
to stare us down laughable...

Excuse me, pal?
You wanna go a few rounds?

So fucking much.
Let's do it.

Wanna do it?
Let's do it.

You wanna fucking do it?

Well...

I'm working right now,
so...

Thought so.

[ Laughs ] Damn.

Punk's like 25
and works out.

He could take me
without breaking a sweat.

It's just all about these.

I know.
You have an intimidating face.

Just like this, right?
Yeah.

But hold on a second.
See them?

Yeah.
Right?

You know,
Dad used to do that.

Mm.

I just want, like, someday,

for my girls to see me
be able to do that, you know?

I've been thinking
about Dad a lot lately.

What?

What? What what?

No. What?
[ Scoffs ]

Just [Sighs]

he was such a cool guy,
you know?

Like, he could just
attract friends like flies.

Every weekend,
the basement was packed.

How do you become
a guy like that?

For starters, no more Nathan.
That's one.

Ehh. Well, he's hanging out
with Izzy more, anyway.

They've been working together
for like two weeks,

and they're already giving each
other "homework assignments."

Ooh!She's making him less pathetic,

and he's making her more
suburban, so it works out.

[ Chuckles ]
How playful.

A little back and forth,
a little note passing.

Fuck you.
They're just friends.

Yeah?
Like "Harry Met Sally"?

Like those kind of friends?
How'd that end again?

Mm, I don't know.

I don't watch rom-coms,
'cause I'm not a girl.

[ Chuckles ]
Nice. Well played.

Yeah.
Well, learned from the best.Yeah.

Nathan and I went to this --

You're gonna love this.Okay.

It was an all-male
"emotional recovery circle."

You know,
"emotional recovery groups"

are part of the plot
by women

to make all men
their gay best friends,

and that's the truth.You sound like Mom.

And Alex Jones.

But mostly Mom.

Yeah, well,
you know Mom was trying

to help you the only way
she knew how, right?

Okay. Says the guy that she
refers to as her only son.

What is it?

What is that look?

What?
You're -- Pshh!

What is up
with these expressions

of flickering humanity
that I'm seeing in your face?

It's really throwing me off.

Man: Trakarsky and Trakarsky,
you're up!

Hey, you ready to let me
knock some man into you? Hey?

Oh, no. Hey, you serious?
You thought we were boxing?

I'm going home
for a nooner with Izzy.

What?
Yeah.

Well, technically, it's
an after-school special.

We're trying to figure out
if we can have sex in twos.

Well, I'm sure
that made sense to you.

It does.

Anyway, good luck.

Maybe you can punch yourself
in the face

and knock some sense
in yourself?

Ooh!
And he leaves with a bang.

Zinger!
All right, nice.

♪♪

[ Dialing ]

Emma: Hi.
It's Emma Trakarsky.

Please leave a message,
your number,

and I will call you back.

[ Beep]Hey, Em, it's Gabe.

We need to talk.

♪♪

So, it's your protégé's
first day?

Yeah. I'm actually
kind of nervous for her.

Hey!
-Hi.

Hey!
-Hi!

Oh. Dang.

You are the most popular girl
in school.

Well, it makes up for my
actual high-school experience.

-Hey.
-Hey!

Hey! Where the jock chicks
called me Dizzy Silva

and dumped slushies
down my back, so --

Hey!
-Huh.

Freaks, geeks,
and cheerleader villains?

Kind of
a tropey adolescence, Iz.

That's Dr. Silva to you,
Gabriel.

Ohh-kay.

[ Pop music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

For the record,
I'm not stoned,

but is she walking
in actual slow motion?

Excuse me.

I'll, um...

Orientation.

♪♪

[ Smooches ]

My office.

Now.

Ow!
Hello.

Sit down.
[ Chuckles ]

Orientation is
quite the set things --

Okay, so,
here's the dealio, okay?

We're gonna go ahead and
tone down this lovely ensemble

from the Shirley Manson
Kmart collection,

and please tell me that
this anime hair is temporary.

Izzy. I really
appreciate everything

that you have done for me,

but New Girl Status
has a shelf life

of roughly two weeks,
so it's ride or die.

What are
you talking about?

Hawthorne is chill,
so you chill.

I'm digging the groovy
intolerance-for-
intolerance vibe,

but high-school hierarchy
is eternal and real,

and it's comin' for me.

I don't have a response
for that, so, just, whatever.

Find somebody to be
your ambassador

and show you around, okay?

Hey.

I was just coming in to pick up
this month's Off Campus Pass.

You've never
done that before.

You know,
I'm an off-campus kinda guy.

Always doing
cool off-campus kinda stuff.

Hey, are you the new girl?

I-I didn't see you come in.

Oh, hey.
Off Campus Guy, right?

Yeah, New Girl.

Oh, my God.
Just show her around.

Yes!

C'mon, handsome.

Sasha. Just -- Mm...

Okay, Sash--[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Chuckles ]

That doesn't even
make any sense.

♪♪

Hey, babe!

Is it me, or do
these kick-ass new glasses

scream out
for artisanal hot dogs?

Babe,
do artisanal hot dogs exist,

or did I just come up
with my new business?

You know what?
That is it, mister!

What, did something bad
happen to you

involving
high-class wieners?

Just because you're
suddenly an entrepreneur

with a magical penis
doesn't mean

that you're the new sheriff
in town. Capisce?

Not in the slightest.
No capisce-ing over here.

Get me a beer! Now!

Is that clear enough?

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

♪♪

You -- You were serious?

You actually named
the bar "Therapy"?

I actually did.

And you're
the star attraction.

Huh.

Ahh!

Oh.

Mm.
Mm.

Getting good, huh?

Firm.

Yet gentle.

What? Uh...

What's going on here?
What's with that face?

How -- How's that?

Uh, you named the bar after me,
you just fetched me a beer,

and now you're massaging
my feet, so...

what's with
the cocky demeanor, huh?

Uh...

Oh, God.

Oh, God, you're topping me
from the bottom.

Am I supposed to know
what that means?

Oh, please!
That's street-level S&M

for a slave who subtly and
insidiously seizes control!

I'm onto you, Topper.

♪♪

I mean, how did I not think
this was gonna get weird?

♪♪

Up here,
we got the "Contour Club."

If you could see through
their eyes, we're not even here.

From there, we've got
the approachable J-Law version,

"Chill Chicks."

Running laterally,
we've got the "Meme Trash,"

and
the "Woke Pixie Girls."

Then we have the "Sporty
Spices," the "Cybergoths,"

and, finally,
"The SadGirlz."

And, uh, sexually,
it's best not to identify

with anyone or anything.

Oh, I actually did
my homework on this one.

Basically everyone's
pansexual now, right?

So fucking cool.

Yeah, #MeToo.
[ Chuckles ]

Sorry.
Appropriation foul.

Get woke.

[ Chuckles ]
You're pan?

Some people
don't see color.

I don't see anything.

Not like I'm legally blind.
I just -- I...

Uh, yes, I'm pan.

Really?

Cool.

Yeah, it is.

Hey, Alex!
What's up?

Oh.
Gabriel, right?

[ Chuckles ]
Always joshing, this one.

That's -- That's why
we call him the Josher.

Yeah, it's -- it's a bit
of a placeholder.

But, hey, have you seen
"Alex Strangelove" yet?

Oh, it was so awesome.

It was super-cathartic.

So there for it.
So stoked.

What's your favorite part?

You know, the part
where they finally...

kissed?
Oh, at the prom!

That was --
That was so peak.

So peak.
Best scene ever.

Wow. Okay.

Kind of an "Alex Strangelove"
super-fan, aren't ya?

I'd -- I'd see it again.

♪♪

Take off your pants.

Ask nicely.

Maybe I wasn't asking.

♪♪

[ Southern accent ]
Oh, Mister Fiftyshades...

Oh, that's not my character's
name, but I like the accent.

Take off your clothes.

What does
it look like I'm doing?

Do it faster.I don't know, man.

If I do it any faster, it's
gonna look a little cartoonish.

Absolutely not.

Maybe that's the way
I'm taking off my belt now,

like I really mean it.
Is it?

No.

This was such a good idea.

Emma's perfectly happy
at Binge Club.

She did insist?

Yeah, I mean, she --

I mean, she really
strongly suggested it.

Okay.
No, but did she mean it?
Mm.

Like, was she just trying
to tell us

what we wanted to hear,
or...

Yes?
Oh, no. We're losing it.

Oh, shit.

Not on my watch.

-Aah!
-Ooh, shit!

Are you okay?
I didn't mean that.

Fuck, man!I'm sorry. I [Sighs]

I've just been questioning
my masculinity

a lot lately, and...

been thinking
about my dad a lot.

Oh, hey, hey, let's not
talk about our parents

when we're trying to have sex.No. Right. Sorry.

Yeah.

♪ Yeah, yeah

Apology accepted.

Oh.

Um...

I kissed you on the nose.

Ah, fuck.
[ Sighs ]

We lost it, didn't we?Yeah.

Shit.
[ Sighs ]

Sex has left the building,

slammed the door, seemed
really disappointed in us.

Like, 10 minutes
of calm meditation.

Then I'm gonna hit dat.
All of it.

If the rental house is
a-rockin', don't ring the...

wireless...

doorbell...

with webcam capability.

Good one, honey.
Thanks.

It seems stupid now maybe,
but I bought some stuff.

Oh.
Let me be the judge of that.

♪♪

Oh.

♪♪

We can have fun with these.

Yep.

♪♪

Ew.

Oh, it was three for one,
so...

Okay.
Yeah.

♪♪

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah?
[ Chuckles ]

What are you thinking?

Is it the same as I'm...

Just give me a hint.

Audrey:
I don't mean to offend anyone,

but I think
that she was an evil slut,

and that she deserved
to die.

I'm gonna stop you
right there, okay?

As someone
who identifies as an Agnes --

Oh, wait.
You identify as a dead narrator?

I place a very high value
on perspective. I do.

-Yeah, but that doesn't --
-Not to break up your, uh,

emotional circle jerk,
but Lala's outside

ticketing all your cars.
-Wait, what?!

-No!
-Oh!

Emma: Lala? I seriously
have to call her Lala?

Hi! Hi.
Excuse me. Um...

[ Chuckles ]
What do you think you're doing?

Don't worry.
No biggie. Minor fine.

Ah. Well, are you a cop?Oh, dear Lord, no.

No, I'm Lala.

So, that's -- that's,
like, a nickname?

It's, like, not.

Shall I tell my parents
you don't approve?

This is Lala.
Hi, Lala!

Lala is
the super-awesome president

of our
Homeowners Association.

Elected six months ago
in a landslide.

Largest margin of victory
since --

HOAs are so cute.

I'm Emma Trakarsky,
president of the Binge Club.

Welcome to
the neighborhood, Emma.

Welcome back, actually.

Yeah, sadly,
I can't recognize your authority

because it turns out
your club is -- eek!...Oh.

...unsanctioned.

Why don't you just -- Oh!That's -- That's so cute.

Did you make these
at home?

No, I got them at Costco.

Listen, I'd love
to look the other way,

but the neighborhood
overwhelmingly entrusted me

with upholding
our agreed-upon ordinances.

We're talking
94.5% of the vote, so...

yeah, obvious mandate.

Anyhoo, yeah,
had some complaints.

Curb parking.
Yuck, right?

Totally yuck.
Yeah.

Okay, well, here's an idea.
Try and keep up.

Why don't we just park
in our own driveways?

That'd be so great.Problem solved.

That way, I can void the
individual parking infractions

and just levy the entire fine
against whomever's in charge.

I assume that's you,
Madame President?

Bawk!
President Polly!

Bawk!

Uh...gotta go.

Oh, my God.
-I have a few more.

Marty:
What was she thinking?

La-la-la-blow me!

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Oh, my God.

Uh, it's --
It's not what it looks like.

Or maybe it is.

What do you think
it looks like?

Did you sneak home...

to nap?

Uh...

♪ Flowers of uranium

♪ And the kids just play along

♪ Pictures of you and me
in love ♪

♪ And the kids just play along

♪♪

♪ Sweetheart

♪ Believe me

♪ I've just been so damn tired,
wiped out completely ♪

♪♪