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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,636 Next week on our show Family USA... 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,805 Mother Betty attends a PTA meeting 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,174 and son Harvey stars in a school Hygiene Pageant 4 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,290 as an abscessed tooth. 5 00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:13,379 Shut it off, Murray. 6 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,109 Shut it off. Wait, I want to hear about the husband and the daughter. 7 00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,901 Husband Bob, teenage daughter Allison and boyfriend Brian 8 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:22,037 go to Cleveland on a shopping spree. 9 00:00:22,072 --> 00:00:24,039 Gee, those people have a great life. 10 00:00:24,074 --> 00:00:26,041 Who cares what kind of life they have? 11 00:00:26,076 --> 00:00:27,308 It's such an awful show. 12 00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:29,377 I liked it, Felix. 13 00:00:29,412 --> 00:00:31,680 You're a wonderful man, Murray. 14 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,550 You like it 'cause you're not a pro. 15 00:00:35,585 --> 00:00:38,704 Pros can see right through that kind of guff. 16 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,016 I liked it, Felix. 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,023 It was dull, Murray, dull. 18 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:45,043 Well, it was a documentary about an average family. 19 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,190 Just everyday people like you and me. 20 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,913 Everyday people aren't necessarily dull. 21 00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,282 I'm certainly not dull. 22 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,551 You... you're not a pro, Murray. 23 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,886 You're just... 24 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:57,889 The first rule of filmmaking is no matter what your subject is, 25 00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:00,525 you don't treat it in a dull, uninteresting manner. 26 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,594 That director, he-he had no imagination. 27 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,230 He never probed into the insides of that-that family. 28 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,160 The... They had no drama. The... 29 00:01:07,184 --> 00:01:09,262 The father finds out his daughter's a prostitute. 30 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,286 Big deal. 31 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,222 But they never got into why. Why does he find out? 32 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:17,609 I'm sick and tired of your bellyaching, Felix. 33 00:01:18,896 --> 00:01:20,724 Did you say what I thought you said? 34 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,347 Yes, I did. 35 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,832 I'm fed up with your crabbing. 36 00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,645 That's not what you said, Murray. 37 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,113 Aw, bellyaching, crabbing... 38 00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:31,005 It's all the same thing and I'm fed up with it. 39 00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:32,707 That's not like you. 40 00:01:32,742 --> 00:01:34,643 I'm not like me. 41 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,279 The police department's been having group therapy sessions 42 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:40,315 and we're supposed to say exactly what we feel. 43 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,984 You'll find I'm a lot more candid now, 44 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,086 and I'm gonna be candid with you, Felix. 45 00:01:45,121 --> 00:01:48,089 If you think you know so much, 46 00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:50,587 then why don't you make your own picture? 47 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,090 Instead of criticizing everybody else, 48 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:56,348 just put your money where your mouth is, Buster. 49 00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,651 Where you going? 50 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,122 Now, I'm gonna go home and straighten out my wife. 51 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,879 He's right. 52 00:02:11,915 --> 00:02:14,449 The fuzz is right. 53 00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:17,185 I should make my own film. 54 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,287 Felix Unger directs. 55 00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:21,723 What? What kind of film? 56 00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:23,258 A documentary. 57 00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:24,326 About whom? 58 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,928 It should be about an interesting person. 59 00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:28,096 Someone dramatic. 60 00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,131 Me. 61 00:02:31,435 --> 00:02:32,867 Act and direct in my first film? 62 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,581 No, I'll do that in my second film. 63 00:02:34,605 --> 00:02:37,772 What? Any subject you know how you can make it interesting. 64 00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:39,908 The first thing you see out the window. 65 00:02:39,944 --> 00:02:40,909 There's the janitor. 66 00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:43,145 I'll zoom in and... no, he's boring. 67 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,312 He's a boring janitor. 68 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,309 I'm gonna talk to the landlord about finding 69 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,334 a more exciting janitor... Someone with charisma, 70 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,264 someone... someone who's got... 71 00:02:51,288 --> 00:02:52,654 Ah! 72 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,022 Zoom in. 73 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,908 ♪ ♪ 74 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,008 ♪ ♪ 75 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:19,458 The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a live audience. 76 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:25,642 Would you mind zooming out, please? 77 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,532 Don't you want to know why I zoomed in? 78 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,533 No. Why not? 79 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,534 Because I don't care. 80 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,080 Aw, you're just being cranky. Sure you... 81 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,471 What do you got in the bag? 82 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,883 Got my dinner. I didn't have time to eat. 83 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:34,951 I'll make you something. No. 84 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,218 You're not gonna eat in your room. 85 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,191 I won't make a mess. 86 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,305 You'll attract bugs. 87 00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,889 They gotta eat, too. 88 00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,952 When Sherman marched through Georgia 89 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,620 he left it neater than this. 90 00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,078 Felix, why are you following me around? 91 00:04:57,114 --> 00:04:58,725 I've had a brainstorm. What? 92 00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,215 I want to make a film. 93 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,582 Go ahead. 94 00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:05,087 Listen, you're a cleanie... Maybe you're a Fellini. 95 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,105 I want to make a film about you. 96 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,653 Are you ki... I'm a working man. I can't be bothered with that. 97 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,554 I won't bother you. You'll never know I'm here. 98 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,394 Cinema vérité. See? 99 00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:14,607 I'm panning down, 100 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,175 I'm panning down your leg. 101 00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:18,544 I zoom in on your sock. 102 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,963 You got holes in your socks. 103 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,915 It's summertime. 104 00:05:21,939 --> 00:05:23,482 Now you're going to toss your pants 105 00:05:23,506 --> 00:05:24,683 across the lamp, aren't you? 106 00:05:24,707 --> 00:05:26,908 No, I'm gonna hang 'em up. See? 107 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,710 Zoom in on that. 108 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:34,499 That's the zoom-in... Then I zoom across... 109 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,168 I zoom down across the bed, across the floor. 110 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,848 I gotta shoot this in black and white. 111 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,517 Nobody would ever believe it in color. 112 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,757 How come all of a sudden you're gonna do a film? 113 00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:46,127 Because every time I see a movie or watch TV, 114 00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:48,963 I hear myself say, "I could do it better," 115 00:05:48,999 --> 00:05:51,399 and tonight I just got fed up with my bellyaching 116 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,702 and I said to myself, "Felix, be candid with yourself. 117 00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:57,139 Put your money where your mouth is." 118 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,101 Boy, I haven't seen you this excited 119 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,675 since they invented liquid wax. 120 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:03,306 It's that important to you? Yeah, it really is. It really is. 121 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,830 And you won't bother me? 122 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,576 I promise, you'll never... Cinema vérité. 123 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,261 You're just yourself. I'm a camera. I'm invisible. 124 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,496 Okay, shoot your picture, but I don't want to notice you, Felix. 125 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,015 You'll never know I'm there. Okay. Good night. 126 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,249 Good night. Put out the light. 127 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:16,007 Good night, star. Good night! 128 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,320 Good night. Sleep tight. 129 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,144 Yeah. Don't let the bugs bite. 130 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,288 Oscar's bedroom... take one. 131 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,168 You're eating a sandwich. 132 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,724 I'm noticing you, Felix. 133 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,328 Now, I'm panning down across the bed, across the floor. 134 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,397 My title shot... I got my title! 135 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,533 Mondo Filth. 136 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,049 Hi, Felix. 137 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,505 Ah, the star awakens. 138 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,973 Go back, go back, go back. 139 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:50,053 What? Go back. 140 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,854 Oh... Gotta film your entrance. 141 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,144 Here we go. Wait a second. 142 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,842 Uh, here we're coming... All right, action. 143 00:06:55,866 --> 00:06:56,831 That's it. I'm hungry. 144 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,700 Great. Great. Great. 145 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,231 There we go. Take you down here. Great. 146 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,566 Okay, okay, now, go back. I'll get it from this angle. 147 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,968 Why? I just... I got your morning trance as you come in. 148 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,504 Now, I want to get your characteristic slump as you go into... 149 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,595 Don't say that. I don't slump. That's not nice... 150 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,941 Here we are. Okay... action. 151 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,543 Now, you're coming into frame. 152 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,245 You're coming in... that's great. 153 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,735 That is so good. 154 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,136 Where's the slump? 155 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,688 That's it. 156 00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:20,833 That's marvelous. That's marvelous. 157 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,001 Now wait a second... 158 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,636 Let me get a close-up of your food. 159 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:27,028 Oh, look what he's doing. Look what he's doing. 160 00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:28,597 That's sensational. 161 00:07:28,632 --> 00:07:30,998 Go to it, Tiger. Attaboy. 162 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,278 Oh, you got a stain. 163 00:07:32,302 --> 00:07:34,862 Let me get the stain, let me get the stain. 164 00:07:35,972 --> 00:07:37,850 That's no good. That's not good for a stain. 165 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,136 Why not? It's just in a bad spot for a stain. 166 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,944 I'll put one in a good spot. How's that? Is that okay? 167 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,974 Isn't that great? Isn't that sensational? 168 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,965 Oh, please, leave me alone, will you? 169 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,578 What a sense of humor. What a guy. 170 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,780 There's a newspaper right in front of your face, though. 171 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,737 Yeah. You see, I put something in front of me, 172 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,149 I look at the words. It's called reading. 173 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,751 No, no... That's how I make my living. 174 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,553 I can't see your face with it up there. 175 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,088 But it's more important. Gotta make a living. 176 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,512 All right, cut, cut! Picture's over. 177 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:01,913 Wait a second. Don't leave. 178 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:03,158 You haven't had your dessert yet. 179 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,549 Dessert with breakfast? 180 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,661 Prunes. Prunes? 181 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,852 You eat prunes first. 182 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,120 I'm shooting out of sequence. 183 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,166 Anyway, I hate prunes. 184 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,422 That's what I want to get. 185 00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,036 I want to get every facet of your personality. 186 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,443 Every single bit of you. Yeah. I want to get the hate. 187 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,223 You want to get the hate? Okay, you rolling? Yeah, yeah. 188 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,457 Yeah, I'm rolling. Follow my arm. 189 00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:19,625 Yeah. Here comes hate in facets. 190 00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:22,450 Here's hate. Facets. Ah, great, great. Sensational. 191 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:25,186 Just be your messy self. 192 00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,923 Marvelous, just marvelous! 193 00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:30,825 Oh, that's so wonderful... 194 00:08:30,861 --> 00:08:33,661 Wait, wait, I'm coming with you. Wait! 195 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,669 ♪ ♪ 196 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,743 ♪ ♪ 197 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,107 ♪ ♪ 198 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,153 Can you guess where my camera is? 199 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,744 Here. Yeah. 200 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,892 No, don't touch the lens. You never touch the lens. 201 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:16,959 That's my microphone. 202 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:17,983 Hello. 203 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,150 No, shh. 204 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,346 Don't shout, it's too delicate. 205 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,602 I don't know... 206 00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:23,115 I don't think Mr. Madison's gonna like this. 207 00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:24,583 Well, he doesn't have to know about it. 208 00:10:24,607 --> 00:10:25,885 You're not gonna tell him, are you? 209 00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:27,509 Okay, mum's the word. 210 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,910 Yeah, now, the main thing 211 00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:30,612 is just to engage him in conversation. 212 00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:31,687 Talk. 213 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,559 Loud, get him to talk loud. Loud. 214 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:35,884 And try to get him to face up towards the camera. 215 00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:36,929 Okay. Okay. 216 00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:37,935 I think he's coming. 217 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,070 Hide. 218 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,709 Hi, Myrna. 219 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,589 Good morning, Mr. Madison! 220 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,223 You look pretty as a picture! 221 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:50,047 Can I have a sip of your coffee? 222 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,027 Felix left early this morning and didn't make any. 223 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,551 I'll go plug in the pot! 224 00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:56,287 Before you do that get me the New York Jets file, will you? 225 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,333 What? 226 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,857 Get me the New York Jets file! 227 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,219 What? 228 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,626 I said get me the New York Jets file! 229 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,746 Don't you want to talk? 230 00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,531 No, I just want the file. 231 00:11:09,352 --> 00:11:11,397 Oh, here's the file. 232 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,854 Myrna, why are you yelling? 233 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:15,556 What? 234 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,358 I said what's with all the yelling here? 235 00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:19,439 That's better. How are you? 236 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,582 Ow! 237 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,834 Ooh! 238 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,029 He caught you. 239 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,320 Oh, I couldn't fool you, could I? 240 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,367 But it was worth it. I got some great stuff. 241 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,135 Felix, I don't want that around my neck anymore. 242 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,093 I don't want it in front of my face anymore. 243 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,472 That's okay. I'm not here. Felix, will you stop? 244 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,440 A week ago you promised you weren't gonna bother me. 245 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:41,165 Now you're in my hair at home, you're in my hair at work. 246 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,311 Give me the file, will you? 247 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,612 I gotta stop. I can't do it anymore. 248 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,348 I'm not getting any work done. Give me the f... Look! 249 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,149 She's looking at the camera. Felix, here, look. 250 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,640 Look, hey! Bye-bye. The end. Oh, no, no, no. 251 00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:52,977 You're not gonna walk off the picture, are you? Yes, I am. 252 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,346 No, you wouldn't. Oh, it's coming along so beautifully. 253 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,548 I've seen the stuff. It's great. 254 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,728 Felix, are you willing to show your film to a professional... 255 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,314 Let him decide whether it's good or not? 256 00:12:01,338 --> 00:12:03,604 Well... do I have to? 257 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,984 Yes. Then I will. 258 00:12:05,008 --> 00:12:06,736 Okay, I'll bring him home for dinner tonight. 259 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,825 Who is he? 260 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,938 Phil Russell. 261 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,372 He makes spaghetti westerns. 262 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,764 Okay, I'll make some spaghetti. Okay. 263 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,698 Have to remember to buy spaghetti. 264 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,902 A lovely spaghetti dinner, Felix. 265 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,237 Thank you, Phil. 266 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,872 Now, here's a shot of Oscar 267 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,874 eating breakfast. Isn't that marvelous? 268 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,409 You ever see a man eat like that? 269 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,944 There's the original stain. 270 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:28,813 There's the new one. 271 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:29,897 Sensational, huh? 272 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,227 Here's a shot of Oscar's bedroom. 273 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,968 I call this scene "Believe it or not" 274 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,915 I didn't have to have a set decorator either. 275 00:12:36,939 --> 00:12:39,318 His room looks like that all the time. 276 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,875 Here's Oscar asleep 277 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:43,244 under a blanket of old clothes and magazines. 278 00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:45,363 Look at that. He's sleeping the wrong way! 279 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,268 Here's Oscar shaving. 280 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,770 Did you ever see a man shave like that 281 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,867 with a cigar in his mouth? 282 00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:58,943 Here he is brushing his teeth at the kitchen sink, 283 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:02,914 washing his mouth out with beer. 284 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,044 The water running, Phil. 285 00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:08,570 Can't you just feel the wetness, the tactile values? 286 00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:10,772 Look at Oscar washing his hands on film. 287 00:13:10,807 --> 00:13:13,340 Look... wait... That's what I call acting. 288 00:13:14,744 --> 00:13:17,140 What acting? I've been washing my hands like that all my life. 289 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,963 And that's all she wrote. 290 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,300 Great footage, huh? 291 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,734 Not so loud, Felix. 292 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,881 I think your great footage put him to sleep. 293 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,539 No, I'm not asleep. I was just thinking. 294 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,685 You were thinking how you can get out of here 295 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,571 without telling him how rotten it was, right, Phil? 296 00:13:31,595 --> 00:13:33,406 On the contrary, it was terrific. 297 00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:34,395 What? Really? Really? 298 00:13:34,431 --> 00:13:36,964 As a matter of fact, you gave me an idea here. 299 00:13:36,999 --> 00:13:40,568 Felix, I'm doing a film that is dying. 300 00:13:40,604 --> 00:13:43,705 It's about a girl, Christina, a Swedish stewardess. 301 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:47,386 But it needs, it needs something to balance it. 302 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:51,412 I need a story about a lonely man. 303 00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:52,647 Oscar! 304 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,510 He comes across as a lonely man. 305 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,001 Yeah, yeah! 306 00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,169 Here's the thing. 307 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,470 If I could put my film 308 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,540 about the Swedish stewardess together with your film 309 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:05,960 about the lonely man, it'll be perfect! 310 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,146 My film is 16-millimeter. 311 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,683 Ah, mine's super eight, but I'll blow it up. 312 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:16,787 Felix, Felix, I want you to direct the rest of this picture. 313 00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,889 Oh! 314 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:20,591 We'll have a big confrontation scene 315 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,826 where the lonely man meets Christina. 316 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,128 As a matter of fact, 317 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,242 we can shoot that scene right here in this apartment. 318 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,460 What about a script? 319 00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,517 Improvise, just like you've always done. 320 00:14:29,552 --> 00:14:31,163 I'll supply the lights and the crew. 321 00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,553 My own crew! 322 00:14:32,589 --> 00:14:34,956 And all you have to supply is the apartment 323 00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,902 and the lonely man. You've got him! 324 00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:39,360 You've got him! How about it, Oscar? 325 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,928 Me? 326 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,163 Sure! You're the co-star! 327 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,478 Phil, you're as crazy as he is! 328 00:14:45,502 --> 00:14:47,267 I'll give you 500 bucks! 329 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,435 500 bucks?! 330 00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:02,817 Oscar. Hi, Felix. 331 00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,485 I've been waiting for you. 332 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,432 What do you think I have in my hand? 333 00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:07,422 A book. 334 00:15:07,457 --> 00:15:08,423 But what book? 335 00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,602 An Actor Prepares by Stanislavski. 336 00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:11,926 Who's he? 337 00:15:11,962 --> 00:15:13,806 The founder of the Method school of acting. 338 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,830 This is the bible. 339 00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:16,859 I think you should have a lesson in acting. 340 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,411 Acting? What happened to "be yourself"? 341 00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:20,279 That's when you were being yourself, 342 00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:22,331 but now you must become a character... Luke Marlow. 343 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,787 Luke Marlow? 344 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:29,026 Luke Marlow, lonely, sportswriter, slob. 345 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,992 I think we should begin at the beginning 346 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,493 with a very simple exercise. 347 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:38,319 Yes. All right, I think you should become an object. 348 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,932 What do you mean, become an object? 349 00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:43,057 Before you can become a man, you must be something simpler. 350 00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:44,570 Acting is becoming. You become an object. 351 00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:46,806 What was I before I was Oscar Madison, a pretzel? 352 00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:50,097 Here's a pretzel. That's too easy, see? 353 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,111 I think you should be a tree. 354 00:15:52,135 --> 00:15:53,301 What kind of tree? 355 00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:54,947 Any kind of tree you want to be. 356 00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:57,471 I'm an elm tree. 357 00:15:57,506 --> 00:15:58,717 That's very good. 358 00:15:58,741 --> 00:15:59,707 That's... Why'd you stop? 359 00:15:59,742 --> 00:16:00,742 I saw a dog coming. 360 00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:01,675 Oh, come on! 361 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:02,955 Come on, this is the silliest... 362 00:16:02,979 --> 00:16:04,156 It's not silly. 363 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,146 It's not silly. 364 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,348 You see, you chose to be that kind of tree. 365 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,661 Acting is a matter of choices. 366 00:16:08,685 --> 00:16:11,285 The greatest actors make the most interesting choices. 367 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,253 You could've chosen to be a bush. 368 00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:14,755 That's a bush? 369 00:16:14,791 --> 00:16:15,856 A thorn bush. 370 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,719 You see, you feel the thorns, feel the danger? Yeah. 371 00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,293 Yes, yes, you don't have to be a bush. 372 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:21,962 You could have chosen to be a hedge. 373 00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:23,364 That's a hedge? 374 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,799 A perfectly-trimmed hedge. 375 00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:27,647 That's the kind of hedge I would be if I were a hedge. 376 00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:30,305 You would be a... A sloppy hedge. 377 00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:31,339 Yes, exactly. 378 00:16:31,374 --> 00:16:33,519 Now... emotion, 379 00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:35,410 the most important part of acting. 380 00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,778 Now I'm going to throw an emotion at you, you respond. 381 00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:39,180 Hate! 382 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,727 Okay, you say "hate," I'm supposed to act. That's impossible! 383 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,718 Oh, no, you use emotional recall. 384 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,081 You recall a time when you hated. Oh. 385 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,471 And then it comes flooding out. 386 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,784 That's what the great actors do. 387 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,241 All right, now hate! 388 00:16:52,028 --> 00:16:54,629 Boy, that, that came from the heart. 389 00:16:54,664 --> 00:16:56,664 I felt that. That was great. 390 00:16:56,699 --> 00:16:57,665 What were you recalling? 391 00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:59,545 The day you moved in. 392 00:16:59,569 --> 00:17:01,835 Whatever. 393 00:17:01,871 --> 00:17:05,339 I'm gonna give you another one. 394 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,542 Sadness. 395 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:16,267 Oh, Oscar, I'm, I'm sorry. 396 00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,902 I-I went too far. 397 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,804 That... oh, that's not nice of me. 398 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,223 I'm sorry. That... What were you recalling? 399 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,491 The same day. 400 00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:29,008 You're having fun with me. Yeah, yeah. 401 00:17:29,032 --> 00:17:30,475 See, that's why your acting was superficial. 402 00:17:30,499 --> 00:17:31,599 You see, you can't do that. 403 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:32,811 Wait. What are you doing? 404 00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:33,979 I'm gonna answer the door. 405 00:17:34,003 --> 00:17:35,948 You're not going to use any of the things we practiced? 406 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,315 Here's an elm tree answering the door. 407 00:17:37,339 --> 00:17:39,384 No, no. What do you want me to do? 408 00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:40,908 You create a situation out of reality. 409 00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:42,220 You heard the doorbell ring? Yeah. 410 00:17:42,244 --> 00:17:44,211 Who's there? I don't know until I see. 411 00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:46,213 Your worst enemy. Who? 412 00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:48,326 The worst enemy you have in the world. Oh, oh, I see. 413 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,785 The man who put the bullet in your leg. 414 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,920 The other leg. The upstage leg. 415 00:17:52,956 --> 00:17:55,590 A man who stole your wife away 416 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,792 and broke both your arms. 417 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,860 He's on the other side of the door. 418 00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:01,028 You can hear him breathing. 419 00:18:01,064 --> 00:18:01,963 He can hear you. 420 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,430 You reach for the doorknob, 421 00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:04,732 he reaches for his Luger... 422 00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:06,000 You answer the door. 423 00:18:06,035 --> 00:18:08,268 I'll show you how to do it. 424 00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:13,707 When I find the man who took my wife, 425 00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:17,328 who caused me all this pain, I'll kill him! 426 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,283 You understand? 427 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,351 We're just gonna light this general area right in here. 428 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,019 Later, we'll come in for our specific lighting. 429 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,243 Right now, we're gonna have... 430 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,412 Okay. 431 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,882 Hey, Phil, baby! Felix, how are you? 432 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,918 Meet Ed, my partner... Hello, Ed. 433 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,931 Distributor for Black Sox Productions. 434 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,855 Well, this is the big day. 435 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,190 Yeah. Is this the set? 436 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,191 Yeah. You like it? 437 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,694 Yeah, perfect for a living room. 438 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,429 It is a living room, Ed. 439 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,625 Where, where's Oscar? 440 00:18:52,649 --> 00:18:53,959 He's in wardrobe. I'll get him. 441 00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:55,883 Patience, everybody. We'll be right with you. 442 00:18:55,918 --> 00:18:57,618 Oscar! 443 00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:02,389 Well, Phil, I hope this scheme of yours works. 444 00:19:02,424 --> 00:19:03,390 Where's the bed? 445 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,653 Forget the bed. 446 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,022 There's only three ways we can go with this film: 447 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,847 If we show the Christina film now, the way it is, 448 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,160 we'll get a double "X" rating and go to jail. 449 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,150 What? 450 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,596 If we cut in that Navy stuff, 451 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,732 well, then we can only show it in the Philippines. 452 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,601 Well, you know how much money there is there. 453 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,341 I got enough bamboo. 454 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:26,013 Right... so we go with Luke the lonely sportswriter 455 00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:28,494 and hope for an "R" with an explanation. 456 00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:31,652 You really think having Madison will give it, 457 00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:35,339 uh... remedialingly sociable valuables? 458 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,310 Let's hope so. 459 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,011 Well, where's the bed? 460 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,424 Please, you handle the business, 461 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,376 let me handle the creative! 462 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,366 All right, all right. 463 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,444 Here's our star! 464 00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:48,747 Hey! 465 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,282 Oscar, baby, you look wonderful. 466 00:19:50,306 --> 00:19:51,272 Meet my partner, Ed. 467 00:19:51,307 --> 00:19:52,273 How are you? 468 00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:53,941 Pleased to meet you. I love your column. 469 00:19:53,976 --> 00:19:55,187 Well, you know my motto is 470 00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:56,588 "Never interfere with the artist." 471 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,257 So if you're all set, we'll leave. 472 00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,358 Come on, Ed. We're set. 473 00:19:59,382 --> 00:20:01,459 The camera's loaded, we're ready to roll. 474 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:02,766 Hey... 475 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,087 You bring this in for less than $10,000, and I'll kiss you. 476 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,616 Not only that, we're gonna make a picture 477 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,951 you can take your children to see. 478 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,142 Are you kidding? Where's the bed? 479 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,922 Now, everybody, we're gonna have a rehearsal, 480 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,445 so spread out for a nice party. 481 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,742 Let's have you in twosomes 482 00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:18,410 so I can get you. This is going to be 483 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,412 a rehearsal more for me than for you, I assure you. 484 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,847 And we're gonna have a nice party. 485 00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:24,250 I'm going to begin here on the flowers. 486 00:20:24,274 --> 00:20:25,751 I'm gonna go from couple to couple, 487 00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:27,986 so let's try it just for me now. 488 00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,489 Here we are... and action. 489 00:20:30,513 --> 00:20:31,657 That's very nice. That's right. 490 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:33,809 Keep your hair back from your face, dear. That's nice. 491 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,844 That's okay. You're dancing. We'll dub in music later. 492 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,546 That's sweet. That's very good. 493 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,671 Very, very good, and we come down here. 494 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:41,706 Where are they? 495 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,806 There they are. 496 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,875 No, no, that's not right. 497 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,128 No! 498 00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:49,880 Oscar, no! 499 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:50,965 Cut! 500 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,500 You two have just met. 501 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:56,954 Oh, but I really dig him, not just professionally. 502 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:59,490 But I mean I-I really dig you. 503 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,754 You don't understand, dear, you're not motivated. 504 00:21:01,778 --> 00:21:05,412 Yes, she... We're motivated, Felix. 505 00:21:05,447 --> 00:21:07,960 Man, woman, recall... all those things. 506 00:21:07,984 --> 00:21:09,950 Now listen, sit up straight. Sit up straight. 507 00:21:09,986 --> 00:21:12,319 Like a nice girl. Sit... Now, you've just met. 508 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,088 You sit on the couch and you talk. 509 00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,589 Talk? You mean there's sound? 510 00:21:15,625 --> 00:21:16,835 Of course, look at the microphone. 511 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:17,859 Oh! 512 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,010 Oh, I've never been on sound before. 513 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,011 Marty, Marty, come here. 514 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:23,814 What'll I say? I could sing. 515 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,394 Listen, I'm a little nervous, too. 516 00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,762 See, I never acted before. 517 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,285 Oh, acting's easy. 518 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,286 It is? 519 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,639 Yeah. I'm just a substitute schoolteacher. 520 00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:33,641 I've done lots of movies. 521 00:21:33,676 --> 00:21:36,127 Did you see Last Tango In Tijuana? 522 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,663 You mean Last Tango in Paris. 523 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:42,099 There's one in Paris, too? 524 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,200 Oh, far out! 525 00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,214 I've got to make it to Sweden. Yeah, listen... 526 00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:48,183 Do you know how creative they are? How sensitive? Excuse me a minute... 527 00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,952 Felix? Felix, talk to you for a minute. Get back in your place, actor! 528 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,721 It's very important. Actor, get back in your place. 529 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:53,955 Hey, you playing Luke? Yeah. 530 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,412 Hi. I'm playing Harry, 531 00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:56,458 the friendly next-door neighbor. 532 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,999 Don't I know you? 533 00:21:58,034 --> 00:21:59,144 Did you see Last Tango? 534 00:21:59,168 --> 00:22:00,133 In Tijuana? 535 00:22:00,169 --> 00:22:01,535 No, Tampa. 536 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,187 Didn't you work on a newspaper? 537 00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:05,467 No, I work in a hospital. 538 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:06,771 I'm a male nurse. 539 00:22:09,144 --> 00:22:10,144 Felix. 540 00:22:10,179 --> 00:22:11,189 Huh? Come here. 541 00:22:11,213 --> 00:22:12,658 There's something fishy about these actors here. 542 00:22:12,682 --> 00:22:13,959 You got butterflies in your stomach? 543 00:22:13,983 --> 00:22:16,128 No. Will you listen to me? She's not an actor. 544 00:22:16,152 --> 00:22:17,796 She's a substitute schoolteacher, he's a male nurse. 545 00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:18,863 You see what I mean? 546 00:22:18,887 --> 00:22:20,337 Relax, Luke. 547 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:22,368 Will you forget the Luke?! This is Oscar! 548 00:22:22,392 --> 00:22:23,902 There's something strange about these actors. 549 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,086 You're nervous, aren't you? That's good. 550 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,810 Use it! Use it! Keep in the part. 551 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:27,811 Here we go, everybody. 552 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:28,857 All right, thank you, everybody. 553 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:29,925 That was an excellent rehearsal. 554 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,849 Now we're going for a take. 555 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,679 This time give it everything you've got. 556 00:22:33,703 --> 00:22:35,236 Use emotional recall. 557 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,671 The same thing. We're gonna start on the flowers. 558 00:22:37,707 --> 00:22:40,241 And... action. 559 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,877 It's a pan... 560 00:22:45,715 --> 00:22:47,448 What's he...? 561 00:22:47,483 --> 00:22:48,782 Yeah, get with it. 562 00:22:50,686 --> 00:22:54,288 It's a raid! It's a raid! Everybody out! 563 00:22:54,323 --> 00:22:55,323 It's a raid! 564 00:22:56,692 --> 00:22:57,692 What's going on?! 565 00:22:59,895 --> 00:23:03,430 Oscar, what's going on?! 566 00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:05,866 I said, "Cut!" 567 00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:06,867 Why?! 568 00:23:06,902 --> 00:23:08,747 Felix, you were trying to make a nice picture 569 00:23:08,771 --> 00:23:09,781 about a human being. 570 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,015 Phil had another picture in mind 571 00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:12,751 about a different kind of a human being. 572 00:23:12,775 --> 00:23:14,469 Those two could never have gotten together. 573 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:15,726 What are you talking about? 574 00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:18,072 Don't you know the kind of film he wanted to make? No! 575 00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:21,948 It was a porno film! A double X-rated film! 576 00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:24,544 The smut you see on 42nd Street. 577 00:23:31,193 --> 00:23:33,093 Wow! 578 00:23:34,730 --> 00:23:37,698 Oh, my! 579 00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:41,568 You know, I saw things through my lens 580 00:23:41,604 --> 00:23:45,038 that looked peculiar to me, but I... 581 00:23:45,074 --> 00:23:47,841 I guess I was blinded by ambition. 582 00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:51,044 All, all I saw was my name on a film. 583 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,547 Thank you, Oscar, for saving me. 584 00:23:53,583 --> 00:23:55,616 You're, you're a true friend. 585 00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:57,362 One thing. What? 586 00:23:57,386 --> 00:23:58,869 Only the director says "cut." 587 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,788 Oscar? 588 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:18,789 Yeah? 589 00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:19,834 You asleep? No. 590 00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:20,824 Can I come in? 591 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:21,859 Sure. 592 00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,326 I couldn't sleep. 593 00:24:23,361 --> 00:24:24,923 Mind talking for a while? 594 00:24:24,947 --> 00:24:26,613 No, go ahead. 595 00:24:26,649 --> 00:24:28,848 It was so ironic. 596 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,251 Felix Unger to make a smut movie. 597 00:24:33,689 --> 00:24:35,350 I've been a photographer, what, all my life, 598 00:24:35,374 --> 00:24:38,108 since I was 14. 599 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:41,978 You know, I remember when I was a kid. 600 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,313 There was a woman. 601 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:46,483 I thought she was an older woman, lived down the street. 602 00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:47,701 Frances Kugle. 603 00:24:49,805 --> 00:24:52,372 We all us boys used to think about her, you know. 604 00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:55,042 She was a gay divorcee. 605 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:57,138 She used to undress without pulling the blind down. 606 00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,163 So... 607 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:03,049 one night I took my camera and I... I snuck out 608 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:06,086 and I made pictures of her undressing. 609 00:25:06,121 --> 00:25:07,454 I was such a straight kid. 610 00:25:07,489 --> 00:25:10,156 I was such a prude that, to this day, 611 00:25:10,192 --> 00:25:12,152 I've never developed those pictures. 612 00:25:16,148 --> 00:25:17,258 Good night. 613 00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:18,248 Good night. 614 00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:19,494 What are you gonna do tomorrow? 615 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:21,518 Have that film developed. 43918

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