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1
00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:33,972
MALE: I'm gonna get a
big tattoo of a rusty chain,
2
00:00:33,996 --> 00:00:35,383
that goes from my leg
3
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,472
- and wraps around up my neck.
- Ugh.
4
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,561
You can't just
get a tattoo of a chain.
5
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:42,558
- You've got to earn it.
- I will when I take over a ship.
6
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:45,132
- [ALL LAUGH]
- Come on, Risik.
7
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,341
We deliver fuel and supplies
to real pirates.
8
00:00:47,366 --> 00:00:48,833
We're, like, pirate adjacent.
9
00:00:48,858 --> 00:00:50,667
Right now I'm just
a plunder sorter,
10
00:00:50,692 --> 00:00:52,654
but I'm capable of way more.
11
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:54,833
Sure you are.
Trash barrel.
12
00:00:55,006 --> 00:00:56,769
Hey, did you guys
see that Maleer got
13
00:00:56,793 --> 00:00:59,274
big pieces of metal
attached to her head?
14
00:00:59,318 --> 00:01:01,320
- No way.
- They look awesome.
15
00:01:01,363 --> 00:01:03,179
She shaved off her hair
and now she has these, like,
16
00:01:03,203 --> 00:01:04,687
gnarly bolts sticking out.
17
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,760
Whoa! Maybe I'll get
some of those, too.
18
00:01:06,803 --> 00:01:08,893
How about you get
an original idea for once?
19
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,982
I'm stealing.
Pirates steal.
20
00:01:11,025 --> 00:01:13,395
Uh, I think that makes you more
of an Orion plagiarist.
21
00:01:13,419 --> 00:01:14,589
[LAUGHING]
22
00:01:14,614 --> 00:01:16,347
- [ALARM BLARING]
- Huh?
23
00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:26,693
Hailing frequency's
open, Captain.
24
00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,913
Small vessel,
power down your engines
25
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,915
and we will board you
without violence.
26
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,042
FEMALE: [SCOFFS]
We have dilithium to deliver.
27
00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:35,438
- This will put us behind.
- Oh, hush, Z'oto.
28
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,833
Let's have some fun for once.
They're right there.
29
00:01:37,858 --> 00:01:40,280
ORION WOMAN: Captain,
the vessel's speed is decreasing.
30
00:01:40,304 --> 00:01:42,491
CAPTAIN: See?
This'll be a quick pillage.
31
00:01:45,477 --> 00:01:47,306
- They're powering weapons!
- Raise shields.
32
00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:48,860
Power relays are failing!
33
00:01:48,885 --> 00:01:51,041
- Get them back online.
- Trying to reroute power.
34
00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:53,111
How did they access our system?
35
00:01:54,808 --> 00:01:56,462
[ALL SCREAMING]
36
00:02:00,031 --> 00:02:02,033
? ?
37
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,977
? ?
38
00:03:01,092 --> 00:03:03,311
? ?
39
00:03:09,926 --> 00:03:11,537
TENDI: And...
40
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:12,780
Done! [CHUCKLES]
41
00:03:12,804 --> 00:03:14,710
All the diseases blocked
by the transporter biofilter
42
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:17,126
after last week's shore
leave, have been cataloged.
43
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:18,792
Next up is...
44
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:20,240
Nothing?
45
00:03:20,265 --> 00:03:21,373
That can't be right.
46
00:03:21,398 --> 00:03:22,611
There's always something to do.
47
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,179
Well, one of the great things
about being a lieutenant JG,
48
00:03:25,203 --> 00:03:27,466
is it's actually possible
to finish your work.
49
00:03:27,509 --> 00:03:29,208
We should do something fun!
50
00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:31,875
Celebrating a lack of purpose
is illogical.
51
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:33,472
Hey, Ma. What up?
52
00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:36,125
I have exciting news
for Lieutenant Tendi.
53
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:39,542
You've been granted leave
to visit your family on Orion,
54
00:03:39,613 --> 00:03:41,093
effective immediately.
55
00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:43,668
Oh, wow.
My family.
56
00:03:43,693 --> 00:03:46,208
Apparently, your sister
is getting married.
57
00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:49,447
- Congratulations.
- Wait, wedding, sister, parents?
58
00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:51,027
Tendi, I-I'm sorry,
I'm freaking out...
59
00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:52,279
this is more backstory than I have
60
00:03:52,303 --> 00:03:53,531
ever been able to get out of you.
61
00:03:53,555 --> 00:03:55,113
Oh, that's okay,
Captain Freeman.
62
00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,146
I don't need to go. I mean,
63
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,558
there's so much work to catch up on.
64
00:03:57,582 --> 00:03:58,828
[LAUGHS WEAKLY]
65
00:03:58,852 --> 00:04:01,433
Starfleet is eager to
demonstrate goodwill,
66
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,786
after the recent disappearance
of an Orion ship.
67
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:06,892
Oh, right.
If it's to help Starfleet, I...
68
00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:09,356
- I guess I could go.
- Thank you, Lieutenant.
69
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,141
[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN, SHUT]
70
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,143
- [SIGHS]
- Hey, you okay, D?
71
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:16,933
Yeah, I-I just haven't
been home in so long.
72
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,606
Plus, they want me
to be in the ceremony,
73
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:20,280
which means writing a speech.
74
00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:22,128
Oh, and of course they'll want
photos of all of us
75
00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:23,675
in our belly dancer outfits.
76
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:27,176
Hmm. It is rare for outsiders
to observe Orion rituals.
77
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,839
May I accompany you
on this mission?
78
00:04:28,863 --> 00:04:30,712
The High Council would
find my report enlightening.
79
00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:32,781
What? No!
I mean, uh,
80
00:04:32,824 --> 00:04:35,435
it's going to be super
unenlightening, actually.
81
00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:36,934
Come on, dude, T'Lyn's right.
I mean,
82
00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,091
nobody knows anything
about your culture.
83
00:04:39,135 --> 00:04:40,894
I have put my foot
in my mouth enough
84
00:04:40,919 --> 00:04:42,153
when it comes to Orion stuff.
85
00:04:42,177 --> 00:04:43,332
We want to learn about
the real you.
86
00:04:43,356 --> 00:04:44,507
But the real me
is just gonna be doing
87
00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:46,098
a bunch of boring traditions.
88
00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:47,684
Sounds awesome.
Plus, I'm sorry, I just...
89
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,287
I have to get away
from Boims and Rutherford.
90
00:04:49,311 --> 00:04:50,731
Ever since they moved in
together, they're, like,
91
00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:52,167
finishing each other's
sentences.
92
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:54,454
Their emotional closeness
is unpleasant.
93
00:04:54,498 --> 00:04:56,195
- [SIGHS] I don't know.
- Please.
94
00:04:56,239 --> 00:04:58,292
Let me support
my number one Orion amiga.
95
00:04:58,317 --> 00:05:00,458
Okay, sure. Why not?
96
00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:01,959
Maybe it'll be good
for you guys to see
97
00:05:01,983 --> 00:05:03,396
what my homeworld
is actually like.
98
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,900
Hell yeah.
Triple threat girls' trip.
99
00:05:05,944 --> 00:05:08,140
I hope we will be allowed
to view their aquifers.
100
00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:11,471
MARINER: [CHUCKLES] Ooh, okay.
T'Lyn getting rowdy.
101
00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:17,347
Ooh, love the new
bedspread, roomie.
102
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:19,349
- Andorian linen?
- You know it, roomie.
103
00:05:19,392 --> 00:05:21,090
- So breathable.
- So breathable.
104
00:05:21,133 --> 00:05:22,806
It's like grandmama Boimler
used to say:
105
00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:25,310
"A cool duvet keeps
the raisin rats away."
106
00:05:25,335 --> 00:05:26,478
Speaking of sleep,
107
00:05:26,502 --> 00:05:28,202
is there anything I can
do to improve yours?
108
00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:29,509
I know sometimes I shift around
109
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,084
when I'm engineering
in my dreams.
110
00:05:31,108 --> 00:05:32,468
Your squirming is so gentle.
111
00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:34,417
It actually lulls me
to sleep faster.
112
00:05:34,442 --> 00:05:37,584
Aw, roomie, your presence
comforts me, too.
113
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,517
I'm so glad we ended up
bunking together.
114
00:05:39,543 --> 00:05:42,241
- Nothing can stop Brutherford!
- Brutherford!
115
00:05:42,285 --> 00:05:43,721
[BOTH LAUGH]
116
00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:45,201
- Ah.
- Oh...
117
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:46,680
Whoopsie-doopsie.
118
00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:49,248
I was just gonna give
our bonsai here a little spritz.
119
00:05:49,292 --> 00:05:50,989
Uh, I was, too.
Lil Boney loves
120
00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:52,363
a little watery hug
in the morning.
121
00:05:52,387 --> 00:05:54,403
I've got an algorithm
which tells me exactly
122
00:05:54,427 --> 00:05:56,623
how many ounces Lil Boney needs
for optimal health.
123
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,259
Uh, yeah, but I've got
a green thumb
124
00:05:58,301 --> 00:05:59,702
from growing up on a vineyard.
125
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,064
You can't trust an algorithm
for everything, right?
126
00:06:02,088 --> 00:06:03,408
- Give me the mister.
- Nope.
127
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:04,453
- Give it to me.
- No!
128
00:06:04,478 --> 00:06:07,132
- Give it to me! [GRUNTING]
- I said no, Mr. Rutherford!
129
00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:30,350
Oh, I'm sorry.
What?
130
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:32,839
You grew up in a castle,
like friggin' Billups?
131
00:06:32,873 --> 00:06:35,237
Just a regular old
Orion upbringing.
132
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:36,948
- No fancy stuff.
- Halt!
133
00:06:36,982 --> 00:06:38,810
- Hiyah!
- [GRUNTING]
134
00:06:39,143 --> 00:06:40,417
[GRUNTS]
Get in the shuttle.
135
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,608
I'll hold them off
while you guys get airborne.
136
00:06:43,259 --> 00:06:44,571
Greetings, Mistress.
137
00:06:44,595 --> 00:06:46,000
May we take your bags?
138
00:06:46,044 --> 00:06:47,872
Hi, Syraa.
Yes, please.
139
00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:50,417
Ooh, I am sorry about that.
140
00:06:50,564 --> 00:06:52,451
Uh, I think we can
skip the sedan, if that's...
141
00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:54,250
Whoop!
[WEAK CHUCKLE]
142
00:06:55,278 --> 00:06:58,237
All right, we're getting
lugged by the big boys.
143
00:06:58,274 --> 00:07:00,252
- Tendi, I'm sorry, are you loaded?
- Oh, no.
144
00:07:00,276 --> 00:07:02,751
We're barely the fifth-largest
family in the Syndicate.
145
00:07:02,775 --> 00:07:05,230
Orions downplay their
wealth, while simultaneously
146
00:07:05,254 --> 00:07:07,500
- making a spectacle of it.
- [CHUCKLES]
147
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,957
I mean, you don't have to
put that in your report, do you?
148
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:11,719
Look, I am from
a post-scarcity world,
149
00:07:11,743 --> 00:07:13,458
and this is still impressive.
150
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:14,986
Look at that big-ass gate!
151
00:07:15,029 --> 00:07:16,918
TENDI: Oh, n... I mean,
it's not that big.
152
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:21,738
D'Vana, my light in the dark.
153
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:23,327
Welcome home.
154
00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:27,049
Mwah.
Mwah.
155
00:07:27,303 --> 00:07:29,261
Mariner, T'Lyn, meet my parents,
156
00:07:29,305 --> 00:07:32,177
the Warrior Queen Shona
and B'Rt.
157
00:07:32,221 --> 00:07:34,788
So, you do have
Starfleet friends.
158
00:07:34,832 --> 00:07:37,336
I would say I've heard
so much about you, but,
159
00:07:37,376 --> 00:07:39,793
well, Orions don't lie.
160
00:07:39,837 --> 00:07:42,100
- You don't?
- No, we do all the time.
161
00:07:42,143 --> 00:07:43,797
I can't stay silent any longer.
162
00:07:43,841 --> 00:07:46,060
D'Vana, D'Erika's
been kidnapped.
163
00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:47,801
Oh, what?
No way.
164
00:07:47,845 --> 00:07:50,702
Bridal kidnappings
are an Orion rite of passage.
165
00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:51,936
Hmm. Interesting.
166
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:54,827
I'm sure the rival family will
make their demands soon enough.
167
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:57,768
[SCOFFS] Brides are only
abducted after save-the-dates
168
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,683
and before the invitations.
169
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:01,293
This is far too late.
170
00:08:01,337 --> 00:08:02,990
Mom, you're overreacting.
171
00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:04,514
As prime daughter
it's up to you
172
00:08:04,557 --> 00:08:06,080
to rescue your sister.
173
00:08:06,131 --> 00:08:07,524
What is a prime?
174
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,727
I don't know,
but it sounds cool as hell.
175
00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:10,781
I concur.
176
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,957
You've turned your back
on our traditions.
177
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,915
Oh, so this wasn't
an invitation.
178
00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:16,632
You just wanted me
to rescue D'Erika.
179
00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:20,138
Don't be dramatic.
Of course it's nice to see you.
180
00:08:20,181 --> 00:08:21,574
There's also a box of stuff
181
00:08:21,618 --> 00:08:22,856
we want you to get out
of the garage.
182
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,317
You have to save your sister.
183
00:08:25,361 --> 00:08:26,816
Because you love her
or because this wedding's
184
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,530
just an excuse
to merge our house
185
00:08:28,555 --> 00:08:29,776
with another Syndicate family?
186
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,931
Obviously both.
187
00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:32,583
Ugh! Fine.
188
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:35,176
I knew we could count on you.
189
00:08:35,371 --> 00:08:37,042
To the oil baths.
190
00:08:37,895 --> 00:08:39,549
Wow, everyone here really loves
191
00:08:39,592 --> 00:08:41,332
getting carried
around on platters.
192
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,350
Who's ready for a very standard,
193
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:45,639
borderline boring
Orion rescue mission?
194
00:08:45,664 --> 00:08:46,863
Let's do it.
195
00:08:46,887 --> 00:08:48,040
And then after, maybe we do
196
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:49,896
those oil baths I keep hearing about.
197
00:08:51,227 --> 00:08:53,103
I've never asked you
for anything!
198
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:55,260
I've never asked you
for anything, too.
199
00:08:55,304 --> 00:08:56,653
Aah!
200
00:08:56,696 --> 00:08:58,132
[GASPS] You misted me.
201
00:08:58,176 --> 00:08:59,958
It just went off in my hand.
202
00:09:00,178 --> 00:09:01,962
Oh, we have
the holodeck reserved.
203
00:09:01,989 --> 00:09:04,295
How about we go have some fun,
and then after,
204
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,833
maybe we'll get along better.
205
00:09:05,857 --> 00:09:07,185
[GRUNTS]
206
00:09:08,489 --> 00:09:11,536
? ?
207
00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:14,146
[GASPS]
208
00:09:14,289 --> 00:09:16,736
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Oh, what in
the Sam Hill are you a-wearing?
209
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,625
I thought I was supposed
to be Twain.
210
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:21,167
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: I
say you are incorrect, sir.
211
00:09:21,286 --> 00:09:23,897
I believe we decided
I would be Twain.
212
00:09:23,941 --> 00:09:26,683
Twin Twains?
That dog won't hunt.
213
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:28,075
Uh, Mr. Clemens?
214
00:09:28,119 --> 00:09:30,034
- Mm-hmm. That's me.
- No, I'm Twain.
215
00:09:30,077 --> 00:09:32,732
Switch costumes,
you ignominious pretender.
216
00:09:32,776 --> 00:09:34,865
You're more stubborn
than a senate mule.
217
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,780
- Grits, grits, grits!
- Tarnation!
218
00:09:36,823 --> 00:09:39,712
- Fancy pants, big-city lawyer.
- I say you are incorrect, sir.
219
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:45,092
I fail to understand why
we must wear this attire
220
00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:47,094
when we are clearly not Orions.
221
00:09:47,138 --> 00:09:48,922
The material is inefficient.
222
00:09:48,966 --> 00:09:51,206
I know the uniform is
more comfortable, but,
223
00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:53,039
Slit Throat has
a dress code. [CHUCKLES]
224
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,078
You know, got to respect
that they didn't even pretend
225
00:09:55,102 --> 00:09:56,234
to add a pun in there.
226
00:09:56,277 --> 00:09:57,844
It shows strength.
I like it.
227
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,779
We're just gonna grab some info
and be on our way.
228
00:09:59,803 --> 00:10:02,359
MARINER: Sure, but how the hell
are we getting in there?
229
00:10:02,838 --> 00:10:04,405
Oh...
230
00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:06,200
- Let us in.
- Get in line. Oh...
231
00:10:06,244 --> 00:10:07,743
Oh, Mistress of the Winter
Constellations!
232
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,030
Oh, I didn't realize!
Please don't flay me.
233
00:10:10,074 --> 00:10:12,859
Oh, h-he's just kidding.
I would never flay.
234
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:15,035
I owe you an eternal debt
of gratitude.
235
00:10:15,079 --> 00:10:16,950
My grandchildren
will sing of this day.
236
00:10:16,994 --> 00:10:19,126
- [DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
- Tendi.
237
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:21,875
Shame on you for not
bringing me here before now.
238
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,402
? ?
239
00:10:23,528 --> 00:10:24,943
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
240
00:10:25,002 --> 00:10:27,494
Are we gonna talk about how
everyone's in awe of Tendi?
241
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:29,825
She does command
an unexpected gravitas
242
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:31,583
for someone so excitable.
243
00:10:34,302 --> 00:10:36,260
It's on the house, Mistress.
244
00:10:36,492 --> 00:10:38,842
And that is from the Madame.
245
00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:40,365
- [GRUNTS]
- Mariner!
246
00:10:40,409 --> 00:10:42,193
[GRUNTING, GROANING]
All good.
247
00:10:42,236 --> 00:10:43,571
Ah, I love it, actually.
248
00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:44,804
All part of the ambience.
249
00:10:44,848 --> 00:10:46,197
[CHUCKLING]
250
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,329
Here for payback, D'Vana?
251
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,220
I don't know what you're
talking about, Madame G.
252
00:10:50,244 --> 00:10:52,377
- I'm just here looking for my sister.
- Ugh.
253
00:10:52,421 --> 00:10:55,250
Bridal kidnappings are so gaudy.
254
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:57,077
I thought the Tendis had class.
255
00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:59,340
I don't care what you think,
just what you know.
256
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:00,820
I've heard some whispers,
257
00:11:00,864 --> 00:11:02,605
but you'll have to earn them.
258
00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:06,375
Oh, please, can we not?
259
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:11,444
[SIGHS]
260
00:11:14,432 --> 00:11:16,129
[HISSING, SNARLING]
261
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,410
Oh, has Starfleet softened you?
262
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:30,023
Ah. Yes. I love being soft.
263
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:32,480
Tendi, how are you so good at
the murder-bug drinking game?
264
00:11:32,504 --> 00:11:34,380
I don't know.
It's my first time.
265
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:36,167
Guess I'm just a natural.
266
00:11:36,377 --> 00:11:37,596
[COUGHS]
267
00:11:37,648 --> 00:11:40,076
Nya'al is still in love
with D'Erika.
268
00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:41,488
Everyone knows it.
269
00:11:42,296 --> 00:11:44,124
So you're saying he's to blame?
270
00:11:45,169 --> 00:11:46,344
[COUGHING]
271
00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:51,403
Bridenappings are for show.
272
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:54,039
But if it was Nya'al,
D'Erika could really be in trouble.
273
00:11:54,157 --> 00:11:56,046
- Let's get moving.
- Ah, let's get brunch
274
00:11:56,072 --> 00:11:58,204
- while you're in town, girl.
- Oh, for sure.
275
00:11:58,248 --> 00:12:00,125
There is no way I'm calling her.
276
00:12:05,821 --> 00:12:08,214
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: And
you, sir, are as clever
277
00:12:08,258 --> 00:12:09,906
as an alley cat
on his tenth life.
278
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:11,498
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: I
am but a humble crumb
279
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,500
on the biscuit of your wit, sir.
280
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,048
[GUFFAWING]
281
00:12:15,073 --> 00:12:18,468
I say, I can't believe
two charming devils
282
00:12:18,493 --> 00:12:21,321
such as ourselves
were ever at odds,
283
00:12:21,346 --> 00:12:23,304
my identical friend.
284
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:25,335
[REGULAR ACCENT]: Yeah. For some reason,
when we're both Mark Twain,
285
00:12:25,359 --> 00:12:27,121
we seem to be able
to really find common ground
286
00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,601
- without any lingering resentment.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
287
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,126
[CLEARS THROAT]
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: I mean, uh,
288
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,708
to paraphrase
the old rail-splitter,
289
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:36,997
a house divided in Twain
cannot stand.
290
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:38,414
- [GUFFAWING]
- Okeydokey.
291
00:12:38,439 --> 00:12:41,765
It would be my honor
if you would mist the bonsai
292
00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:44,961
on odd stardates,
my doppleganging devil.
293
00:12:44,986 --> 00:12:47,875
And you, sir,
shall have the evens.
294
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,775
RANSOM [ON COMMS]:
Lieutenants Boimler and Rutherford,
295
00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:53,852
- report to the bridge.
- I say, we're on the way, sir.
296
00:12:53,912 --> 00:12:55,784
Computer, arch.
297
00:12:56,756 --> 00:12:59,034
[REGULAR ACCENT]: Why
are vests so complicated?
298
00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:02,355
So, uh, Tendi,
would you like to talk
299
00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:04,705
about how you totally
whupped ass back there?
300
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,272
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
301
00:13:06,316 --> 00:13:08,501
High school friendships
always age weird, you know?
302
00:13:08,525 --> 00:13:10,211
This next place
will be way more chill.
303
00:13:10,235 --> 00:13:13,300
Fascinating.
Orions attend secondary education.
304
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,719
Yeah. I wasn't going to
get into Starfleet Academy
305
00:13:15,744 --> 00:13:17,103
because I can
tie a lot of knots.
306
00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,917
How many knots can you tie?
307
00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:20,321
Mm...
[WEAK CHUCKLE]
308
00:13:20,346 --> 00:13:22,134
Hey, I, eh... who cares?
We've all tied some knots.
309
00:13:22,158 --> 00:13:23,420
Knots are fun.
310
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:24,663
? ?
311
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:25,927
[LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER]
312
00:13:25,951 --> 00:13:27,620
MARINER: Ooh, pretty nice hump dungeon.
313
00:13:27,644 --> 00:13:29,315
I think they have one of these
in New Seattle.
314
00:13:29,339 --> 00:13:31,024
These are
pretty common on Orion.
315
00:13:31,079 --> 00:13:32,578
The males appear
to be under some sort
316
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:33,951
of chemical manipulation,
317
00:13:33,995 --> 00:13:36,040
perhaps controlled
by pheromones.
318
00:13:36,084 --> 00:13:37,931
- Don't log that.
- Yeah, Tendi's made it clear
319
00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:39,629
that Starfleet made
those pheromones up.
320
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,065
I mean, they had to
explain why a captain
321
00:13:41,089 --> 00:13:43,023
would get taken out by
some Orion showgirls.
322
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,460
CLUBGOER: Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
323
00:13:44,484 --> 00:13:46,704
Blast me with more 'mones.
324
00:13:46,747 --> 00:13:49,053
- [INHALING]
- Huh.
325
00:13:49,097 --> 00:13:51,075
Uh, technically,
I said that not all Orions
326
00:13:51,099 --> 00:13:53,251
control men with pheromones.
Some of us definitely do,
327
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:54,958
- just not me.
- [MALE WHOOPS]
328
00:13:56,848 --> 00:13:58,675
- Nya'al!
- Oh, [BLEEP]!
329
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,844
Get back here!
330
00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:02,587
Nya'al's got some speed for being
331
00:14:02,611 --> 00:14:04,119
a big ol' hunk of ham steak.
332
00:14:04,162 --> 00:14:05,860
He is aesthetically pleasing.
333
00:14:07,419 --> 00:14:08,731
[CRYING]
334
00:14:08,755 --> 00:14:10,684
Mistress, I swear I know nothing.
335
00:14:10,727 --> 00:14:12,076
I'm just a 'monehead.
336
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,513
I spend all day and night
hopped up on the stink.
337
00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:17,958
So what's gonna spill first...
your mouth or your guts?
338
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:19,930
Uh, I heard that
in a holo-movie.
339
00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:21,566
- FEMALE: D'Vana?
- [PATRONS GASP]
340
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:25,220
Why are you threatening one
of my most obedient boys?
341
00:14:25,263 --> 00:14:29,050
Relax, have a drink,
get lascivious.
342
00:14:29,093 --> 00:14:32,183
I'm not interested in any
of the sexy nonsense, Ingreeta.
343
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:33,778
I'm here for D'Erika's ex.
344
00:14:33,836 --> 00:14:34,968
Pity...
345
00:14:34,992 --> 00:14:37,941
The D'Vana I know would never turn down
346
00:14:37,966 --> 00:14:39,986
- a cage shower.
- [SHORT CHUCKLE] She's kidding.
347
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,185
Tell them you're kidding.
348
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,064
It never mattered that
she didn't have the pheromones.
349
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:44,370
- She didn't need it.
- [INHALING]
350
00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:47,833
Men would simply
fall at her feet, stricken.
351
00:14:47,938 --> 00:14:49,418
You stricked people?
352
00:14:49,461 --> 00:14:51,986
Are all pheromonal Orions
naturally manipulative
353
00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:53,683
or is it specific to this woman?
354
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,555
How dare you judge me, Vulcan?
355
00:14:56,599 --> 00:14:58,122
[GRUNTS]
[BLEEP]!
356
00:14:58,166 --> 00:14:59,515
Oh, what are the odds?
357
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:01,024
Are-Are you seeing this?
358
00:15:01,049 --> 00:15:04,083
You can't come into
my scentuary and insult me.
359
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:06,155
Prepare to face my thrall.
360
00:15:06,179 --> 00:15:07,225
Kill her.
361
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,543
Tendi, look out for the hunks!
362
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:10,211
[GRUNTING]
363
00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:14,399
Oh, man,
another pheromone dungeon?
364
00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:16,750
Wh-What did you do to him?
365
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,360
Just a little compound
I mixed up
366
00:15:18,403 --> 00:15:20,338
to counteract the effects
of the pheromone.
367
00:15:20,362 --> 00:15:23,234
Would be a pity if I dispersed
the whole bottle in here.
368
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:25,976
Don't!
All I have is my stink.
369
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:28,457
Nya'al, tell her what you know.
370
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,720
I've been a mess
since D'Erika got engaged,
371
00:15:30,748 --> 00:15:33,576
but, all I did was
give myself over to the 'mones.
372
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:37,292
Sometimes I follow her and
watch wistfully from a distance.
373
00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,138
Last time, she was
just wandering around
374
00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:40,417
the ship graveyard.
375
00:15:40,486 --> 00:15:42,758
All right, that makes sense.
You're a good guy, Nya'al.
376
00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:45,125
- You should go home.
- I will.
377
00:15:45,343 --> 00:15:46,736
Stop groveling.
378
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,956
- Lick my foot.
- Yes, ma'am.
379
00:15:49,175 --> 00:15:50,350
[MALE ROARING]
380
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,176
- Dude, your 'stache.
- [YELPS]
381
00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:53,849
[ROARS]
382
00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:56,047
With all due respect, Coqqor,
383
00:15:56,072 --> 00:15:57,682
you have no claim
to this sector.
384
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,057
That nebula is ours to scan.
385
00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:03,969
No. Your vessel will interfere
with our data gathering.
386
00:16:04,016 --> 00:16:06,758
We can power down systems
or share the data...
387
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:08,629
We don't trust Starfleet data.
388
00:16:08,673 --> 00:16:11,374
- It's too nuanced and thorough.
- I'm sorry,
389
00:16:11,399 --> 00:16:13,721
but analyzing that nebula,
is my mission.
390
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,332
Are you willing to die for it?
391
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:19,727
If we can't resolve this
the nebula will phase shift
392
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,642
and neither of us
will get to scan it.
393
00:16:21,686 --> 00:16:23,731
Then so it shall be!
394
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,703
[SCOFFS]
Close channel.
395
00:16:26,047 --> 00:16:27,738
This is a
once-in-a-lifetime chance
396
00:16:27,762 --> 00:16:29,302
to scan an oscillating nebula.
397
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:32,392
There has to be something
we can do to find common ground
398
00:16:32,435 --> 00:16:34,625
without any lingering
resentment.
399
00:16:34,829 --> 00:16:36,048
Uh, Captain?
400
00:16:36,091 --> 00:16:38,360
Uh, there is one thing.
401
00:16:38,425 --> 00:16:39,600
What?
402
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,531
[CHUFFING]
403
00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:44,143
Why am I wearing
this itchy hair hat?
404
00:16:44,496 --> 00:16:45,671
Is this it?
405
00:16:45,696 --> 00:16:47,581
No.
You have to talk to each other.
406
00:16:47,624 --> 00:16:49,626
[CLEARS THROAT]
Thank you, Captain,
407
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:52,151
for agreeing to do... this.
408
00:16:52,194 --> 00:16:54,196
No, you have to do the accent.
409
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,370
[GROANS]
410
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,460
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]:
I say, uh, uh, uh, uh,
411
00:16:57,504 --> 00:16:59,593
my-my good creature,
412
00:16:59,636 --> 00:17:03,625
uh, the moral arc
of history is a m...
413
00:17:03,742 --> 00:17:05,793
Oh, what the hell am I
supposed to say, Lieutenant?
414
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,651
Homespun aphorisms
about compromise.
415
00:17:07,688 --> 00:17:10,000
[ROARS]
416
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:12,771
Okay, uh, maybe you try that
in a Southern accent.
417
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:15,552
[EXCLAIMS]
I am from South Chalnoth.
418
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,419
That was a Southern accent.
419
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,500
[ROARS]
420
00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,409
Whoa!
421
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:21,789
[GRUNTING]
422
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,225
[GLASS BREAKING]
423
00:17:23,269 --> 00:17:24,692
[REGULAR ACCENT]: What
the hell made you two think
424
00:17:24,716 --> 00:17:26,395
- this would work?
- We-we were arguing a lot
425
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:27,553
and we both dressed
like Mark Twain.
426
00:17:27,577 --> 00:17:28,903
Something about us
talking old-timey
427
00:17:28,927 --> 00:17:31,404
helped us figure out
who should water our bonsai.
428
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:34,280
What is bonsai?
429
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,929
Oh, oh, watch out.
430
00:17:40,954 --> 00:17:42,411
There's a loose panel
over there.
431
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,812
Curious. You seem familiar
with this location,
432
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,083
yet it appears to be abandoned.
433
00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:50,234
D'Erika and I used to sneak
away here when we were little.
434
00:17:51,183 --> 00:17:52,238
There!
435
00:17:52,262 --> 00:17:54,167
That was one of our favorites.
436
00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:58,826
I loved pretending I was
off-planet, exploring space.
437
00:17:58,979 --> 00:18:01,044
Doing anything other
than pirating.
438
00:18:05,802 --> 00:18:08,327
Guys, I have to come clean
about something.
439
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:11,533
I wasn't just a regular
Orion teenager.
440
00:18:11,574 --> 00:18:13,384
I was trained to be
a Syndicate assassin.
441
00:18:13,408 --> 00:18:14,519
MARINER: Tendi, yeah, we know, girl.
442
00:18:14,543 --> 00:18:15,954
You can't just say you're joking around
443
00:18:15,978 --> 00:18:17,678
when you kick-flip
a knife out of the air.
444
00:18:17,702 --> 00:18:19,760
Your upbringing
was quite obvious.
445
00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:22,802
I just hate that you guys
had to see the real me.
446
00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:24,605
Tends, the real you
447
00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:27,130
is the one who geeks out
about science on the Cerritos.
448
00:18:27,159 --> 00:18:29,286
But I'm a prime, you know?
A...
449
00:18:29,411 --> 00:18:30,423
A trained assassin.
450
00:18:30,466 --> 00:18:32,947
It's-it's the most piratey
someone can be.
451
00:18:32,991 --> 00:18:35,210
Incorrect.
You are who you choose to be.
452
00:18:35,254 --> 00:18:38,344
A Starfleet lieutenant
and a loyal friend.
453
00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:40,465
Don't worry, we know
you're a big nerd
454
00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:42,458
and not some hot assassin.
455
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:44,720
[SIGHS]
That is the nicest thing
456
00:18:44,745 --> 00:18:47,444
anyone's ever said to me.
457
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:49,985
It's so weird to be here.
458
00:18:50,138 --> 00:18:52,861
This is where I told my sister
that I was joining Starfleet.
459
00:18:53,381 --> 00:18:56,254
More like where you decided
to abandon your family.
460
00:18:57,108 --> 00:18:58,805
TENDI: D'Erika?!
461
00:19:02,615 --> 00:19:04,780
Hey, we did it.
Case closed.
462
00:19:04,804 --> 00:19:06,304
You kidnapped yourself.
463
00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:09,217
Wow, did Starfleet teach you
those amazing detective skills?
464
00:19:09,244 --> 00:19:11,211
Was this just to get me
to show up for the wedding?
465
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,410
I would have just come.
466
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,487
Classic D'Vana...
467
00:19:13,512 --> 00:19:15,340
Always assuming it's about you.
468
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:17,209
[GRUNTING]
469
00:19:18,297 --> 00:19:21,300
Ha, ha. Nope.
I'm gonna stand way over here.
470
00:19:21,343 --> 00:19:24,178
Fascinating, Orions primarily
resolve disputes through violence.
471
00:19:24,202 --> 00:19:25,802
No, no, that is not true.
[WEAK CHUCKLE]
472
00:19:25,826 --> 00:19:28,611
D'Erika, please,
can we just talk about this?
473
00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,792
I'll let my blade
do the talking.
474
00:19:31,345 --> 00:19:33,536
[GRUNTS]
Oh, come on!
475
00:19:33,569 --> 00:19:35,638
- D'Erika, don't stab my friends.
- [CHUCKLES]
476
00:19:35,662 --> 00:19:37,359
What are you gonna
do about it?
477
00:19:37,403 --> 00:19:40,509
Teach you how to respect
your prime.
478
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:42,224
[GRUNTS]
479
00:19:42,708 --> 00:19:44,321
Yes, yes.
480
00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:46,194
Beautiful.
481
00:19:46,238 --> 00:19:48,177
We love it, too.
Super hard to raise.
482
00:19:48,202 --> 00:19:49,521
Yeah, he's basically
a son to us.
483
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,004
Every day we have to make sure
484
00:19:51,029 --> 00:19:52,677
he gets just the right
amount of...
485
00:19:52,702 --> 00:19:54,269
[POT SHATTERS]
486
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,296
Now I'm thirsty for mist.
487
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,627
[GLUGGING]
488
00:19:57,814 --> 00:19:59,280
I'm sated.
489
00:19:59,304 --> 00:20:00,817
You may inspect the nebula.
490
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:03,997
But pray I don't change my mind.
491
00:20:04,122 --> 00:20:07,318
Yes, yes, you are
very intimidating.
492
00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:09,520
- Thank you.
- [DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]
493
00:20:11,089 --> 00:20:12,742
- Lil Boney.
- Lil Boney.
494
00:20:12,786 --> 00:20:15,310
[GRUNTING] I don't get it.
495
00:20:15,354 --> 00:20:17,225
Why do this?
Why kidnap yourself?
496
00:20:17,269 --> 00:20:18,966
Because I knew
it was the only way
497
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,228
to get you to come home.
498
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:21,926
- [GRUNTS]
- You didn't invite me.
499
00:20:21,969 --> 00:20:23,723
Oh, would you have even come?
[GRUNTING]
500
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:25,253
You haven't been home once
since you left.
501
00:20:25,277 --> 00:20:28,125
Yeah, I've kind of been busy.
Hiyah!
502
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:30,325
[GRUNTING]
503
00:20:30,369 --> 00:20:31,855
With what...
Scanning?
504
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,981
Why is Starfleet
so obsessed with scanning?
505
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,433
To learn stuff!
506
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:38,507
- You abandoned me for science.
- [GRUNTING]
507
00:20:38,973 --> 00:20:40,375
Don't.
508
00:20:42,966 --> 00:20:44,769
You were trained from birth
509
00:20:44,794 --> 00:20:46,433
to be the Tip of the Moonlit Blade,
510
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,387
the greatest duty
of the Mistress
511
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:50,737
of the Winter Constellations.
512
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:52,750
I didn't ask for that.
513
00:20:52,957 --> 00:20:54,871
Neither did I.
514
00:20:56,264 --> 00:20:57,657
[GRUNTS]
515
00:20:57,872 --> 00:20:59,935
You forced this on me
without asking.
516
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,099
Running to Starfleet
was your choice,
517
00:21:02,124 --> 00:21:04,292
but it meant all your duties
fell on me.
518
00:21:04,669 --> 00:21:06,641
I had to train,
I had to be the Mistress.
519
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,392
I had to drop my whole life
to become the new prime.
520
00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:10,590
You're right.
521
00:21:10,615 --> 00:21:12,590
I should have talked
to you before I left
522
00:21:12,615 --> 00:21:15,292
instead of just assuming
you'd want to take my place.
523
00:21:15,614 --> 00:21:16,876
I'm sorry.
524
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,609
[GRUNTS]
525
00:21:21,888 --> 00:21:24,031
Of course I wanted
to take your place.
526
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,641
But I'm no D'Vana Tendi.
527
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,315
Once I'm married,
people are going to see
528
00:21:27,339 --> 00:21:28,917
that I'm a pale comparison.
529
00:21:28,942 --> 00:21:30,247
Are you kidding me?
530
00:21:30,327 --> 00:21:32,255
The only reason
I felt comfortable leaving
531
00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:34,708
was because I knew you would
be better at it than me.
532
00:21:34,868 --> 00:21:36,423
You just kicked my butt.
533
00:21:36,447 --> 00:21:38,200
You're an amazing prime.
534
00:21:38,292 --> 00:21:41,005
[SIGHS] I guess I did
kick it a little bit.
535
00:21:41,048 --> 00:21:42,571
A lot a bit.
536
00:21:42,825 --> 00:21:45,009
D'Erika, I always loved science.
537
00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:46,758
That was my path.
538
00:21:46,836 --> 00:21:48,250
This is yours.
539
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,614
Yeah, lady, if you're worried
about not being a badass,
540
00:21:50,638 --> 00:21:52,016
I have some good news for you.
541
00:21:52,059 --> 00:21:54,642
I, too, was alarmed
by your combat abilities.
542
00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:56,191
You really think I can do this?
543
00:21:56,216 --> 00:21:58,677
You absolutely belong
on the Crime Throne.
544
00:21:58,737 --> 00:22:00,780
That means a lot. [GASPS]
545
00:22:00,804 --> 00:22:02,486
- What time is it?
- The bridal procession
546
00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:04,134
is scheduled to begin
in under two hours.
547
00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:06,004
We are never going
to make it back in time.
548
00:22:06,028 --> 00:22:07,879
[GRUNTS]
I might not be a pirate,
549
00:22:07,904 --> 00:22:10,505
but I've rerouted my fair share
of EPS conduits.
550
00:22:10,583 --> 00:22:12,688
Who wants to hotwire
a stolen ship?
551
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,396
- I do not.
- Oh, stop, stop, stop.
552
00:22:14,421 --> 00:22:15,700
We're in.
553
00:22:24,029 --> 00:22:25,113
D'ERIKA: See?
554
00:22:25,138 --> 00:22:27,703
Sometimes being an
Orion pirate isn't so bad.
555
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:30,240
Yeah, it does come in handy.
556
00:22:30,481 --> 00:22:32,254
I know you're turning
in your observations
557
00:22:32,278 --> 00:22:33,441
to the High Council, but,
558
00:22:33,465 --> 00:22:35,929
maybe could you leave
off some of the stabbings?
559
00:22:36,402 --> 00:22:39,841
Curious. My report appears
to have been damaged.
560
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:43,522
Orion culture will have
to remain undocumented.
561
00:22:43,632 --> 00:22:44,807
But why?
562
00:22:44,851 --> 00:22:48,103
A report without the subject's
consent would be unethical.
563
00:22:48,128 --> 00:22:49,939
- [ALARM BLARING]
- Oh, no!
564
00:22:49,963 --> 00:22:51,963
I think the plasma
manifold just ruptured.
565
00:22:52,118 --> 00:22:53,989
D'ERIKA: We're losing altitude.
566
00:22:54,961 --> 00:22:58,083
The goddess
chooses our fates now!
567
00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:02,685
[GATES OPEN]
568
00:23:02,713 --> 00:23:04,640
Mom, Dad, found her!
569
00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:06,667
Sorry, sorry,
had to steal a ship.
570
00:23:07,475 --> 00:23:09,912
Oh, my special girls.
[SNIFFLES]
571
00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:11,965
Accomplices.
572
00:23:16,994 --> 00:23:20,346
Ah, he looks radiant.
573
00:23:22,845 --> 00:23:25,674
? ?
574
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:27,833
That's when I got
stabbed in the shoulder
575
00:23:27,857 --> 00:23:29,480
during the daddy-daughter
dagger dance.
576
00:23:29,504 --> 00:23:31,738
This is when we encountered
a priest with an eight-pack.
577
00:23:31,762 --> 00:23:32,785
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
578
00:23:32,810 --> 00:23:34,036
And, uh, this is when D'Erika
579
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:36,250
swung her husband
across the threshold.
580
00:23:36,294 --> 00:23:39,079
Yeah, well, our bonsai
got gobbled up by a Chalnoth.
581
00:23:39,123 --> 00:23:41,037
Yeah, yeah,
a-and the captain forbid us
582
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,841
from playing Mark Twain
on the holodeck.
583
00:23:42,865 --> 00:23:44,417
Are you guys jealous?
Ugh.
584
00:23:44,442 --> 00:23:45,958
It was just a wedding.
585
00:23:45,983 --> 00:23:48,338
Why would we ever want to go
to an awesome pirate wedding
586
00:23:48,362 --> 00:23:50,419
on a planet
nobody ever gets to see?!
587
00:23:50,443 --> 00:23:51,755
Aw, sorry you can't release
588
00:23:51,779 --> 00:23:53,533
some of this anger
with Mr. Clemens.
589
00:23:53,576 --> 00:23:54,918
Shockingly, it's not
590
00:23:54,943 --> 00:23:57,071
the universal problem
solver we thought it was.
591
00:23:57,095 --> 00:23:58,434
Yeah, but we've
got it covered.
592
00:23:58,458 --> 00:24:00,137
Ooh, like, today
we were arguing about whether
593
00:24:00,161 --> 00:24:01,837
to hang an oil painting
of the Enterprise-D
594
00:24:01,861 --> 00:24:03,528
or watercolor of
the Enterprise-D.
595
00:24:03,553 --> 00:24:04,944
Well, you guys just
talked about your feelings
596
00:24:04,968 --> 00:24:06,277
with honesty, right?
597
00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:08,971
Yeah, I guess
we could try that.
598
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:11,798
[UPPER-CLASS ACCENT]: Shall we
go with an acrylic of the D, Mozart?
599
00:24:11,822 --> 00:24:15,100
[UPPER-CLASS ACCENT]: An exceptional
compromise, Mozart.
600
00:24:15,125 --> 00:24:17,479
Then let us tickle the ivories.
601
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:19,482
- [BOTH PLAYING]
- [GUFFAWS]
602
00:24:24,189 --> 00:24:25,251
RUTHERFORD [REGULAR ACCENT]:
Dang...
603
00:24:25,275 --> 00:24:27,000
This thing is really hard to play.
604
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:31,600
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