Original subtitles

ALAN: Previously on Boston Legal...

The media has painted me as the "Black Widow,"

the gold digger who's poisoned her 70-year-old rich husband.

-I am not an evil person. -Yes, you are, Bernie!

You've killed two people inside of a week. By definition, that makes you evil.

Would you let me take you to church?

TARA: Opposing counsel is someone I used to date.

-I thought I told you. -I think you didn't.

Somebody killed him, Kelly.

Accidental overdose will be very hard to sell.

The capsule was emptied into the wineglass.

-Who takes nitro that way? -I didn't kill my husband.

DENNY: Dream case, isn't it?

High profile. Splashy. Big closing.

Get the "not guilty."

Have sex with the client. It's all there.

(reporters clamoring)

Basically, she looks as unemotional as ever, almost calcified.

No doubt she's calcified, Bobby. I mean, come on.

She's a cold-blooded killer.

I'd give anything to be in on this case.

Why don't you just show up and start objecting?

-Funny. -...who takes Viagra.

And trust me, I have been with a bunch.

First thing the doctor says is, "Don't take nitro."

And these weren't nitrotablets, by the way.

They were capsules

opened up and poured into the wine to avoid detection.

Does she think we all just fell off a turnip truck?

First of all, when I got to the scene of the crime,

she was completely calm.

Her expression was cold, blank, detached.

Did she say anything?

DET. RICHMOND: She said it was his heart.

Then she offered that he was having chest pains earlier.

It was as if she was trying to steer us to natural causes...

perhaps to head off an autopsy.

-Objection. -Sustained.

Later, when we confronted her with the toxicology reports,

she just went silent.

We asked her if anyone had a motive to kill her husband.

She coldly responded that she was through answering our questions.

-How long have you been a detective, sir? -Twenty-two years.

Ever have a case to talk to someone whose spouse just died?

Of course.

Ever know such a person to be in shock?

Of course.

Is it possible one manifestation of shock is a blank expression?

I suppose.

Did you investigate the possibility that anybody else killed Joel Nolan?

We ruled everybody out but her.

BRAD: I'm sorry, maybe I missed it.

Is there any reference in your notes to other suspects?

No.

Did you mention to anyone that you considered other suspects?

No.

Did you investigate suicide?

We ruled out suicide.

Hmm. There's a cop who'll never make captain.

JUDGE HARVEY: Mr. Crane!

Approach, please.

I have instructed Mr. Shore, I will so instruct you

not to make comments to undermine my courtroom.

Mr. Shore has already bought himself

a jail sentence at the conclusion of this trial.

I'd have no compunction about assigning him a bunkmate.

I'm sorry, Your Honor. I have, uh...

mad cow disease.

I think you do too.

Look at his eye.

(quirky music)

Your Honor.

(theme music)

(grandiose music)

GIRLS: ♪ Ah... ♪

♪ It's 25 miles from home, girl ♪

♪ My feet are hurting mighty bad ♪

♪ Now I've been walking three days ♪

♪ And two lonely nights ♪

♪ You know that I'm mighty mad ♪

So this is your idea of a quiet little drink?

Did I say "quiet"?

Maybe I was referring to the nightcap in my place later.

(Tara snorting, laughing)

Malcolm, what are we doing here?

That man onstage is my client, and he asked me to come here.

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

Why did he ask you here?

They won't let me sing "War", that's why.

It's my trademark song.

I'm Edwin Starr. Good God, y'all.

Well, technically, Johnny, you're not. Edwin Starr is dead.

But I'm his nephew.

I've inherited the rights to his library and his likeness.

For stage purposes, I'm him,

and what is Edwin Starr without "War"?

Why won't they let you sing it?

They consider it anti-American.

And it's not just here.

I'm getting it in Cleveland, in Detroit, Bakersfield.

It's starting to happen everywhere.

♪ What is it good for ♪

♪ Absolutely nothing say it again ♪

-(door shuts) -You hear that?

They're singing it themselves.

They still think I'm coming out to do it as an encore.

Huh!

And when I don't, they're gonna go home disappointed.

It's killing my act.

♪ War! Huh! ♪

Good god, y'all!

Got her little outfit on, hair all bleachy-blonde,

just the way she likes it.

I'm telling you, folks,

none of this will be worth a hill of beans in the end.

Denise.

This jury is not stupid. It's smart.

She is as guilt...

-Tim. -Hey, listen.

I think you remember Reverend Diddum, at least, hearing about him.

-Hello, Denise. -Hi.

Well, it turns out, the Reverend is also a lawyer,

and, well, I've decided to let him handle my divorce.

You're being represented by a minister?

I just thought, in the spirit of resolving this as humanely and civilly as possible,

it just make sense to put things, you know...

REV. DIDDUM: As I looked at the numbers, uh,

fortunately, it works out rather cleanly. May I?

Please.

You currently make $320,000 per annum.

Out of love and charity of heart,

you have graciously and steadfastly supported Tim

in his quest to make the P.G.A. Tour.

Statistically, however... Let us pray.

Dear God, please continue to bless this man

with the courage to persevere in the face of these enormous odds.

Amen.

Statistically, a 34-year-old's prospects of making the tour look bleak.

Assuming you were to continue paying spousal support,

as you are required to do by law, I speak now of alimony.

Taking into account inflation, your continued job growth,

successful person that you are,

it would cost you over two and a half million dollars over the next ten years.

That's a present-day value of 890,000.

Tim, with reciprocal charity of heart,

is willing to discount that to 625,

conditioned upon an up-front payout today.

Although we would entertain structuring it over...

four months, if you prefer.

(quirky music)

You want me to pay you $625,000?

Anyway, think on it.

Pray on it.

Look to your advisers as well as your conscience,

then we can talk again.

(quirky music intensifies)

(scoffs)

What do you mean she's co-counseling with him?

Evidently, it's some case concerning commercial censorship.

Why he needs Tara, I don't know.

He doesn't need her. He wants her.

I beg your pardon?

GARRETT: If you have been supporting him in this entire time, there's...

I'm supporting him as a golf bum.

Even so, under the law, his alimony would be determined...

I wanna change the law.

-You wanna change the law? -Yes!

If the law says that since by financing his "bumhood,"

I am therefore required to do so in perpetuity.

The law needs changing.

Sara, I need a memo challenging the constitutionality of no-fault divorce.

I'll need it by the end of business.

Why are you looking to Garrett?

If I thought Garrett had the answers, I would look to Garrett.

Instead, I look to you.

End of business. Hmm?

(percussive music)

Find me a judge who got screwed over in his divorce settlement.

They're out there. Go.

Memo!

(upbeat music)

He threatened to leave her and he was screaming at her,

"You're out of the will! You're out of the will!"

Two days later, she killed him.

-Objection! -Objection!

Sustained. The last remark is stricken.

A.D.A. TODD: Ms. Stadler,

could you describe the defendant's relationship with the decedent?

FRANCES: It wasn't good.

He was increasingly angry over her affair.

Calling your attention to the evening of December 13 this past year,

did you have opportunity to hear a conversation

between the defendant and her boyfriend,

that man seated there, Justin Murray?

It was an argument.

A.D.A. TODD: Can you tell us what you heard, ma'am?

Well, Mr. Murray, the boyfriend,

was very upset that she was still having sex with her husband,

and she said, "Look at the bright side.

His heart isn't very good.

Sex increases the chance of his having a coronary."

A.D.A. TODD: Thank you.

I said that as a joke.

I'll visit you in jail. Conjugal.

A.D.A. TODD: Your witness.

Miss Stadler, when I asked you a week ago

why you suspected my client of her husband's death,

you never mentioned this remark made to the boyfriend

about sex and coronaries, did you?

I wanted to keep that nugget for trial.

-You don't like Kelly Nolan? -No, I don't.

Of course not. You looked after Mr. Nolan, she got to spend his money.

Mr. Nolan and his wife had an arrangement, did they not,

where she was permitted to date other men?

All I can tell you is he wasn't happy about her and the boyfriend.

-Ah, was he angry about it? -Yes.

-Did he ever despair over it? -FRANCES: Sometimes.

ALAN: In fact, he suffered a few bouts of depression

over the last couple of years, didn't he?

-Minor. -Mr. Shore, what are you doing?

Just loosening up, Your Honor.

-(loudly) Did you kill Joe Nolan? -What?

-Objection! -You had access to the wine!

Mr. Shore, you'd better have a good faith basis for this.

I'd love to have a basis,

but since the police didn't investigate the possibility, I'm limited.

It would've been so nice if the police had actually gathered evidence

for the purpose of arriving at a conclusion

instead of supporting a pre-conceived one. Don't you agree?

-Objection. -That is stricken.

I will see counsel in chambers.

I warned you not to make a mockery of these proceedings.

It was damaging testimony.

I had to do something distracting.

It was either accuse somebody or drop my pants.

You've got a little froth...

I am doubling your contempt sentence.

What about his mockery?

They tried this case in the press, totally contaminated the jury pool.

He kept from us the information

Miss Stadler so affectionately referred to as "her nugget."

What about your mockery, not shutting any of this down,

you psychotic punk?

You're baiting me to say something you can use on the appeal.

Your contempt sentence is tripled.

I move for a mistrial.

-On what grounds? -On grounds of you.

We're not getting a fair trial here on grounds of you.

Denied.

Your sentence is quadrupled.

(Alan blows air)

All in all, it was considered apowerfulday for the prosecution.

In an unprecedented...

I must say, I always fantasize about my murder trial.

I was a little disappointed I didn't get one.

CATHERINE: What?

You wanna go to prison?

No, but... the excitement, being at the center of it.

I think next time I'll leave little clues like that B.T.K. killer.

Maybe little hints to make it fun.

What do you mean, "next time"?

Oh, uh...

I just like to daydream.

It's my little Walter Mitty self, I guess.

Bernard, you seriously don't think you'd ever kill again, do you?

Of course not, but...

(sighs) I miss...

It was very empowering, taking a life.

It's godlike.

I wouldn't do it again, of course. (chuckles)

(upbeat music)

-Garrett, who's my judge? -Judge Hober in Division 3.

Got divorced in July after catching his wife with the car detailer.

She got the house in Nantucket.

Hmm. What am I arguing?

The best I could come up with is public policy.

Divorce law is archaic.

You'll read the memo yourself?

Right.

This minister, by the way, has been sued three times for sexual harassment.

-I mean, we could base... -That's nice.

File a motion for declaratory judgment and mark it up for tomorrow.

You never should've taken the case, Denny.

When a beautiful woman says, "get me off," you get her off, Shirley.

It's as simple as that.

Oh, it was never simple for you.

Have we thought about our legacy?

You're gonna go from being Mark Geragos to being Mark Geragos.

Denise, you're handling your own divorce?

I have two associates helping me.

But you're handling it?

Hire somebody else.

-Shirley... -Denise, hire somebody else.

People come to hear you sing as Edwin Starr,

even though you're not the real Edwin Starr?

Yes. And, mainly, they want me to sing "War."

Mr. Emmerich, what's the big deal?

Look, we get upset with the world for not joining our war efforts,

but how can we build a coalition abroad

if the American people at home don't seem convinced?

So Americans have a duty to shut up and look convinced?

(laughs softly)

We live in different times.

It's my club. I choose to support our country.

This song doesn't.

-Let's hear it. -What?

-I wanna hear it here. -In court?

Two o'clock tomorrow. Adjourned.

-(gavel strikes) -(upbeat music)

(reporters clamoring)

Denny Crane.

She's a blonde... all-natural. Denny Crane.

We were making love when suddenly, he started to grab his chest.

I was sure he was having a heart attack.

What did you do?

I called 911, but by the time they got there, it was too late.

ALAN: At some point,

you learned your husband had both Viagra and nitroglycerin in his system.

Yes.

ALAN: And you learned

the nitroglycerin had been traced to the wine.

Yes.

It was determined the capsules were emptied into the wine.

That certainly looks like murder, Kelly.

Which is exactly what he intended.

(pensive music)

(people murmuring)

You're saying he wanted to die.

KELLY: And frame me for his murder.

Even though we had an arrangement, he became extremely angry over my affair.

What about the statement you made to your boyfriend

about your husband having a heart attack?

It was a joke, a bad one but...

ALAN: Pretty big coincidence,

him dying of an apparent coronary.

If Frances Stadler overheard the joke,

I have no doubt she told my husband about it,

which likely gave him the idea.

How could your husband hate you so much, he was willing to die just to frame you?

He was willing to die, perhaps, because he so insanely loved me,

and I was giving my love to another.

You didn't kill him.

I absolutely did not kill him.

What the hell was that? You came off as the most unfeeling person.

-Take it easy, Brad. -Take it easy?

The goal is to get the jury to sympathize with her,

and she's coming off like "Frosty the Snowgirl."

How about this question: Do you care?

Do you even care if he's dead?

-ALAN: All right. -I don't get it.

Is this how you try to save your life?

-What was I supposed to do, cry? -That might be a start.

And let me tell you something, if you don't come off as human

in the cross-examination, you're done.

-BRAD: If you're not done already. -I can't pretend to be something I'm not.

The jury would see through that, wouldn't they?

Look, what we're telling you is,

if you don't let the jury in, if they don't see you as a human being,

or at least a distant cousin thereof,

read Old Yeller tonight or whatever it takes,

but come in here tomorrow ready to reveal emotion,

otherwise, you'll be spending the rest of your life in jail.

(tense music)

Did he say he was gonna kill somebody?

No, but I'm suddenly beginning to think he will.

Which is why I'm here with a heavy heart.

What exactly did he say about killing?

It makes him feel godly, which... (pants)

...the whole reason introduced him to God was to go in another direction.

Well, idle fantasies.

That's not something we can arrest him for.

But what about his past murders?

I'm gonna be honest, Mrs. Piper.

You admittedly described him as grandiose.

That means his little confessions to you could be interpreted as boasts.

But you arrested him for those murders.

And couldn't prosecute him because of lack of evidence.

But now I'm giving you evidence.

Which is problematic.

Your relationship with Mr. Ferrion might very well be an extension

of lawyer-client privilege

since that's how you first learned of these crimes.

Tell you what, I'll look into this, discuss it with the DA,

but I'm not optimistic at this point.

(quirky music playing)

(groans)

It's going that well, huh?

Why in God's name did you let her testify?

Because the jury needed to hear her say she didn't do it.

That bubblehead on the news is saying

she came off cold to the point of psychotic.

Hopefully, on cross, she'll warm to the temperature of a popsicle.

The case is completely circumstantial, Shirley.

As anemic as our defense may be,

the prosecution has nothing in the end but... suspicion.

You're forgetting something.

Everybody wants her to be convicted.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

OPERATOR: 911 operator.

KELLY ON RECORDING: Yes, my husband has had a heart attack.

Please send an ambulance.

We are at 1622 Wigham Drive in Sudbury.

As soon as you can.

(player clicks)

-That was your 911 call? -Yes.

It didn't sound wildly distressed.

I was trying to remain calm to communicate the information

in the hopes of saving his life.

A.D.A. TODD: Ah.

-You were trying to appear calm? -KELLY: Yes.

At that time, I didn't know it was a crime.

Now I do.

According to Detective Richmond, you weren't crying.

Your... your mascara wasn't even running.

I suppose if I were trying to get away with something,

I would've made sure there were some streaks.

KELLY: I might've also washed out the wineglass,

swiped it for prints.

There are all sorts of things the innocent forget to do.

(quirky music playing)

The whole concept of alimony is gender-biased, Your Honor.

The unstated rationale, if you examine legislative intent,

is that women cannot provide for themselves.

-Ms. Bauer, is there... -The stated intent goes to sacrifice.

Women forsaking careers to stay at home raising families.

Ms. Bauer, I...

Certainly, the framers never intended for this law

to be perverted to the extreme where, one day, it could be applied

to force a woman to work to support a deadbeat's golf habit.

I detect emotion in your voice.

The essence of law, the role of a judge, is to accomplish fairness.

Does this seem fair to you?

Counsel, I would love nothing more than to repeal alimony,

or at least amend it to some sort of merit-based formula.

And maybe someday that will happen.

Bu come on.

I certainly cannot grant a declaratory motion here, and I suspect you know that.

Motion denied.

(gavel pounds)

(clears throat) Given your leaning toward acrimony,

I feel I must advise my client to withdraw the charity of our discount.

The number goes back to 890.

(clicks tongue) Think on it.

Pray on it.

We can speak again with calm minds.

(Denise sighing)

-What now? -I'm turning this over to the two of you.

I want you to depose him.

Subpoena all his financial records, his family's records.

Hit him with interrogatories, document production.

If he's got a girlfriend, depose her.

Find out if she's providing any financial support.

I want a paper war with the Reverend.

I want you two to make their lives miserable

so they both come crawling to me to settle.

This is war.

This is...

-JOHNNY: ♪ War! ♪ -MALE BACKUPS: ♪ War! ♪

♪ Hoo! ♪

JOHNNY: ♪ Yeah! ♪

-♪ What is it good for? ♪ -♪ What is it good for? ♪

- ♪ Absolutely... ♪ -♪ Nothing ♪

(jazz music playing)

This is why I went to law school: to argue the issues.

Now, are you marrying me or not?

I'm still waiting for an answer.

-You never asked me. -MALCOLM: I didn't?

I guess I tipped my hand, didn't I?

♪ Of innocent lives ♪

♪ War means tears to thousands of mothers' eyes ♪

♪ When their sonsgoouttofight and lose their lives ♪

-♪ War! Hoo! ♪ -♪ War! Hoo! ♪

♪ Good God, y'all ♪

-♪ What is it good for? ♪ -♪ What is it good for? ♪

- ♪ Absolutely... ♪ -♪ Nothing ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Over there ♪

♪ Over there ♪

♪ Send the word, send the word ♪

-♪ Over there ♪ -JOHNNY: ♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ I said war ♪

♪ Huh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

-♪ What is it good for? ♪ -♪ What is it good for? ♪

♪ The Yanks are coming ♪

♪ The Yanks are coming ♪

♪ War ♪

That isn't part of the song.

Getting both points of view across. Love it.

Gray area.

♪ Over there ♪

♪ I said that war ♪

♪ Huh ♪

What was with all the "Good God, y'all"?

Ah, that is vintage Edwin Starr.

"Good God, y'all!" Try it.

-I'll pass. -No, it feels good.

(imitating Edwin Starr) "Good God, y'all!"

(both laughing)

Alan, hey.

(Tara panting slowly)

Um, Alan Shore, meet Malcolm Holmes.

Ah... pleasure.

-Tara's told me so much about you. -ALAN: Really?

She's managed to be surprisingly discreet about you.

(Alan chuckles)

Oh, Malcolm and I... We... We're...

Old friends.

You're the one who stole her heart.

And you're the one she willingly gave it to.

How's your trial going?

Fine. Yours?

Splendid.

You're right. He is funny.

(uneasy music)

Show over already?

You look beaten.

I just caught Tara laughing with another man.

Are you sure they weren't just kissing or something?

No. They were laughing.

I'm gonna lose the girl and the case, all in the same week.

You haven't lost this case yet.

Did you listen to Kelly's testimony in court, Denny?

How could the jury see her as anything but guilty?

All you need is reasonable doubt.

When I was a younger man, long before mad cow,

if I was losing in my closing, I'd just keep going.

I wouldn't sit until I was sure I had it.

Just wear them down.

Reasonable doubt.

You just keep going till I give you the signal

that you've got it.

(uneasy music)

They were really laughing?

She's gone.

(upbeat music)

Sara, we're done.

In divorce cases, all of them, the clients end up loathing the lawyers.

The client here is a senior associate of the firm.

There's no way we come out of this.

Unless, by some miracle, we can make it go away, which we can't.

Unless...

Unless what?

Well, instead of targeting the ex-husband, we go after the Reverend.

-The Reverend? -Three sexual harassment complaints.

The man has a certain weakness.

(quirky music)

I don't like where this is heading.

Sara, when I first met you, I said to myself,

"Wow! Now there's a funny, intellectually acute woman

who can get men to take their clothes off."

Ah. Should I say "thank you" or slap you?

I'm good with either, actually, but, look, I have an idea.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but right now,

we have absolutely nothing to lose.

Trust me.

(upbeat music)

OPERATOR: 911 operator.

KELLY: Yes. My husband has had a heart attack.

Please send an ambulance.

We are at 1622 Wigham Drive in Sudbury.

As soon as you can.

Did that sound like grief to you?

A.D.A. TODD: How cold, calculating is this woman?

Detective Richmond told you, she wasn't even crying at the scene.

Just a blank expression as she calmly

tried to steer the police toward natural causes.

And, then, when confronted with the toxicology evidence, she says,

"Gee, he killed himself to get back at me."

That is the most implausible, far-fetched, desperate theory

I've ever heard in my 17 years as a district attorney.

What kind of monster can drug her husband

and then actually hang around to watch him check out?

Well, you saw that monster on the stand.

Flat affect. No emotion.

Cold.

Her testimony was chilling...

(loudly) ...without conscience!

You got to witness, firsthand,

the psyche of a murderer.

Keep going till you get reasonable doubt.

I could be up there all day.

JUDGE HARVEY: Mr. Shore!

We're waiting.

Yes, Your Honor.

(clears throat)

Why are we here?

Certainly not because of evidence. There isn't any.

Any witnesses see my client give her husband Viagra?

Anybody see her put nitroglycerin into his wine?

No.

We're being asked to assume that evil.

Well, why can't we impute the same sinister mentality

to the deceased?

Because people just don't take their own lives?

We have over a million suicides across the globe every year.

A million.

Suicide is a much more common, and therefore plausible thing than murder.

So why are we here?

Because Kelly Nolan had a blank expression on her face

when the police arrived at the scene?

She was in shock, for God's sake.

Her husband had just died right before her eyes.

Fingerprints on the wine glass?

It was her house.

She was having wine with her husband.

Is it so inconceivable that she would touch his glass?

And if she were guilty, don't you think she would've wiped the glass clean

or washed it so the nitro wouldn't have been detected?

Why are we here?

Because her husband allegedly threatened

to cut her out of his will two days before?

According to Kelly, that never happened.

The housekeeper says it did,

but this is a witness who admittedly loathed my client,

who admittedly concealed information from me

so she could do more damage at trial.

She has a bias

and the prosecution offered nobody to corroborate her.

So, why are we here?

The coronary joke made to the boyfriend.

Suspiciously coincidental, but that was something she said, not did.

And she said it in jest.

Let's remember, there is no suggestion

that either the boyfriend or the housekeeper

took this remark seriously for a second.

If they did, why did they not contact the police?

There is simply no evidence that would allow you to conclude,

beyond all reasonable doubt, that Kelly Nolan killed her husband.

So why are we here?

But, as long as we are, what about the police?

They admittedly didn't investigate any other theory, including suicide.

You heard Detective Richmond.

They immediately focused on Kelly and only Kelly,

because she's the one they wanted to get.

And I don't know about you,

but I certainly find it curious that the prosecution,

instead of reprising evidence in his closing argument,

chose to focus on my client's testimonial demeanor.

What the hell is that?

He wants you to convict her of murder

because she came off as cold in a witness chair.

I saw cold too, but what I mainly observed

was somebody who was rigidly unapologetic.

Well, wrongly accused people tend to be that way.

How warm would any of you be if you were falsely accused of murder,

if you were made sport of by the media, if your privacy was violated,

and naked pictures of you were posted on the internet?

People who are unrelentingly vilified tend to end up cold and hard.

Kelly Nolan has emotionally shut down.

She cannot feel, she cannot emote, and she cannot fake vulnerability

for the purpose of appealing to a jury's sympathy.

She's innocent, and she's not required to prove it.

Schadenfreude.

From the German words Schaden and Freude...

damage and joy.

It means to take spiteful, malicious delight

in the misfortune of others.

We used to dismiss this as simply an ugly side of human nature,

but it is much, much more than that.

Recently, a Stanford professor actually captured schadenfreude on a brain scan.

It's a physiological, medical phenomenon.

When we see others fall,

it sometimes causes a chemical to be released

in the dorsal striatum of the brain,

which actually causes us to feel pleasure.

If you watch the news or read the papers,

which, of course, you don't, because the judge said not to.

But if you did, you would see

the undeniable, delicious joy

of the media and the public over Kelly Nolan's plight.

I have no doubt...

that you want Kelly Nolan to be punished.

She married for money. She had an affair.

She carried on naked in the pool with her boyfriend.

She's cold, materialistic, unlikable.

And it might bring you all pleasure to see her go to jail.

But as for evidence to establish that she committed a murder,

beyond all reasonable doubt, it just isn't there.

The only possible route to a guilty verdict here...

is schadenfreude.

(exciting music playing)

Thank you.

(upbeat music playing)

NEWSCASTER ON TV: The judge is expected to keep the jury sequestered

throughout deliberations, evenduringweekends.

-In other news... -Can you imagine?

What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall.

I thought you didn't like being a little bug.

It was a figure of speech.

Catherine, I don't like the tone I've been hearing from you this week.

What are you gonna do, whack me on the head?

(indistinct television chatter)

I'm sorry, Bernie, but that little comment you made

about feeling godly and killing people...

That concerned me.

I said that in jest.

No, you didn't.

I think maybe our friendship should...

take a little break.

(TV switched off) You can't do that.

Why can't I?

I've made a mistake.

I thought you were taller.

We move on.

You exacted certain confidences from me.

Without a friendship, how can I rely on our trust?

I won't betray your trust, Bernie. I just need a break.

Now is not the time to leave me.

I am still dealing with the tragic, unexpected loss of my mother.

You killed her.

(sobbingly) That doesn't mitigate my pain.

Catherine. I need you in my life.

Could we...

just continue to talk about this?

Please?

(pensive music playing)

Sure.

Sure.

You don't think this constitutes abuse of process?

A hundred interrogatories.

Questions which go to his favorite food, his taste in clothing.

Notice of depositions of family members.

It saddens me, Sara.

Reverend, I'm in a very difficult position here.

Obviously, I have a very emotional senior associate

directing me to be as contentious as humanly possible.

With the resources of this firm,

we can make it cost you four to get your eight.

Can't we just find a number that works for everybody?

My client, too, is emotional.

Look, lawyer to lawyer, there's nothing worse than divorce law.

Let's, you and me, figure this out together.

(slow music playing)

(inhales deeply)

It won't be easy... (clears throat)

...given all this acrimony.

Forget the acrimony.

You and me together... we can do this.

It's a lovely song, but, I repeat, this is a private club.

People can hire the kind of entertainment they want.

It's called "freedom."

Your Honor, beware private industry.

Television networks are becoming afraid of losing their sponsors.

Their parent companies fear losing government contracts,

and suddenly, Robin Williams can't joke about a homosexual sponge at the Oscars.

Linda Ronstadt got kicked out of her hotel room in Las Vegas

for making anti-war comments at one of her concerts.

Bill Maher got canceled for making a politically incorrect joke

on a show called Politically Incorrect.

Never mind the government or state action,

it's private corporations that are becoming

the biggest predators of free expression.

Censorship can certainly be no less acceptable...

when the motivating factor is money.

All right.

I think the idea of squashing this song is ridiculous.

The idea that an anti-war message can be deemed un-American

is patently preposterous.

In fact, as someone who considers herself patriotic,

I'm offended by the accusation that America is pro-war.

Here comes the dreaded "however."

However, as much as I would like to find on your behalf, Mr. Damon.

As much as private enterprises are more and more

being subjected to civil rights actions,

I'm afraid a club owner still has the right

to control his entertainment content.

Your motion is therefore denied.

Bollocks. I never win.

Look at his eyes.

Nutcase.

Mr. Foreman, you've reached a unanimous verdict?

We have.

The defendant will please rise.

Mr. Foreman, what say you?

FOREPERSON: In the matter of the Commonwealth versus Kelly Nolan,

on the charge of murder in the first degree,

we, the jury, find the defendant, Kelly Nolan...

not guilty.

(people murmuring)

Down, girl.

JUDGE HARVEY: Members of the jury, this concludes your service.

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts thanks you.

Mrs. Nolan, you are free to go.

Mr. Shore, you will report to lockup at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

We are adjourned.

-(triumphant music playing) -(reporters clamoring)

-Hey, Martha! -MARTHA: Mr. Crane. Hi.

(clamoring continues)

Thank you.

(Alan laughs softly)

-(alarm bell ringing) -(elevator halts)

Undoubtedly, you're familiar with the concept of double jeopardy.

You've been acquitted. You can never again be tried for this crime.

And, of course, anything you say to me here is protected

by attorney-client privilege.

Kelly, I absolutely must know.

Did you kill him?

(solemn music)

No.

(Alan sighs in relief)

(elevator button thumps)

NEWSCASTER: The verdict came as a surprise

to several legal analysts who were following the proceedings.

Jurors interviewed said that while they did conclude

that Kelly Nolan was probably guilty,

they just couldn't get there beyond all reasonable doubt.

(TV switched off)

I bet she kills again.

You think she'll kill again?

I don't know, dear.

See, the thing is... once you've gotten a taste of it,

it's really hard to go back to an ordinary life.

That's what I struggle with, I think.

(menacing music playing)

Better?

(Bernard groaning)

As God is my witness...

my only witness.

("Crying Time" by Phillip Walker playing)

♪ It's crying time again ♪

♪ You're gonna leave me ♪

She barely reacted when the verdict was read.

-Did you notice that? -I noticed.

How could a woman be so cold and yet so hot?

One of her many mysteries.

Never had my sex with her.

There's no justice.

Did we get justice today, Alan?

I don't know.

I think she did it. No.

Maybe I wanna think that, 'cause, like you say,

it could be "shutterbug."

Schadenfreude.

Murder cases are fun, I'll tell you that.

Let's get another one.

I'm with you.

I like the pathological. It's sexy.

Let's get another one like her.

My eyes are peeled.

("Crying Time" continues playing)

♪ Bet it won't be long before it's crying time ♪

ALAN: Next on Boston Legal...

You killed a man?

I bludgeoned him with his own skillet.

-She just killed him? -You're up for murder charges.

She kills clients!

This firm will defend you. I give you my word.

You will have this firm's full resources.

I want Alan Shore.

Cancel the rest of your week, Alan.

-Don't be ridiculous. -I'm taking you to Nimmo Bay.

You're telling me the fish are uncatchable?

DENNY: By beginners!

-I'll catch one. -Fish on!

-He got one. -ALAN: Fish on!

Another one?

You really should try catching one.

You miserable bastard!

(closing theme music)