All language subtitles for Its.A.Mad.Mad.Mad.World.1987.CHINESE.BluRay.H264.AAC-VXT.en

Go and get dressed!

The banquet is about to start.

We all have to be there by six.

Get changed!

- Mom, can I sit out of this one?
- No!

But I went for it every time!

That's why you have to go this time.

Chiu Dai, go and get dressed!

If you don't get dressed right away,
you're not going tonight.

Thank you, Dad.

And you won't go to school from tomorrow.

Thank you, Dad.

And you won't call me Dad again.

Thank you, Dad.

And since I'm not your dad anymore,

I won't have to buy you any more models.

I'll go get dressed now, Dad.

- Dear, is my suit ready?
- Can we go now?

I hung it in the bedroom. Quit fussing.

I can't help the fussing.

Even Buddha won't do
without his gold robe.

In Hong Kong,

- they say clothes make a person.
- "They say clothes make a person."

You can tell someone's worth
just by looking at how they dress.

And that's it.

Even the best homegrown retailers

always lag behind
Japanese department stores

because they don't look as good!

Life is so cruel in this city.

- Give me back my comb!
- No, it's mine!

Give it back!

Knock it off!

The Housing Department
built us this apartment,

so it's not so sturdy.

But she took my comb.

Chiu Dai, come out!

She gave me this comb.

Hey.

But she never used it,
so I am taking it back.

Then, you're at fault.

You gave her the comb,
so it's up to her to use it or not.

If you want to use it,
ask her to lend it to you.

But Mom!

Ask her to lend it to you.

Miss, may I borrow your comb?

No!

Little sister, could you please
lend me your comb?

All right, take it.

So, what did you learn from this?

I learned not to give anyone anything!

Why do you look so skimpy?

The old folks there won't like it.

I'm not planning to go to the banquet.

My boyfriend is picking me up in a while.

Can I go too?

Gosh.

Dear, my tie is all wrinkled.
Could you please iron it?

Done. Would you like that
for your clothes as well?

No, thanks.

It's Bill and his family.

You are all dressed up.
Are you going somewhere?

- Yes.
- Don't mind them.

We're off to a banquet.

Gosh, if I were to throw a banquet,

I'd invite all of you to come.

You know, Bill and his family

are the classiest household
in at this residential estate.

Look at their three little angels.
All spick-and-span.

Just like princesses!

Like I said, daughters pay off better!

Just like Bill, he may have no sons,
but he's blessed with three daughters.

And he's a news anchorman on TV,

so he's got himself a big advantage.

So what, Mrs. Nam?

He'll send his daughters
to beauty pageants!

The eldest would be Miss Hong Kong,

and the middle one would be Miss Asia.

This has gotten old.

While the lady can be Miss Get-Fit!

What a great figure she has.

What's so funny?

We were saying
Bill's daughters can be Miss...

- Miss Hooker?
- Don't forget Chiu Dai.

She can be Miss Television!

But she's still little.

Pageants won't be so popular
once she grows up.

Why not? How about Miss SAR?

Yes, something like that.

Isn't that right, Bill?

What a big mouth you have.

You deserve to get it stuffed!

Chiu Dai, hurry up!

Remember.

Don't drink too much cola
while we're there.

The folks there might think
we couldn't afford it.

- Loi Dai!
- Yes, Mom?

Come here into the shade.
They might throw something out.

Oh, really?

Hurry, it's safer here.

Gosh.

Smiley Joe!

Mia!

This is my mom.

Mamma Mia!

And my dad.

- Your dad?
- Hold up. Who is he?

My friend, Smiley Joe.
He's taking me to a concert.

So screw the banquet. Goodbye!

- Hey!
- I paid 500 bucks for your spot!

Then, take away some food for me.

You can't even keep a grown girl at home.
You should have given birth to a son.

I didn't conceive these two,
so don't blame me for that.

What about this one?

Do you want a ride?

- Causeway Bay, please.
- Like he said.

Oh, shit. Not heading that way.

Not so fast, kid.

- We're taking the subway.
- The subway?

It's fast, safe,
and it's air-conditioned as well.

- Good point. Come on.
- Let's go.

To take the Island Line to Central,
please go to platform two.

- There are so many people.
- It's peak hour now.

If you do not make it on time,
please wait for the next train.

Doors are closing, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't push!

Hey. It's too crowded.

Loi Dai, I found you a spot here!

Hurry, or someone will take it.

- You sit, Mom.
- Sure, I will.

How quaint.

Look at that.

Next station, Tsim Sha Tsui.

Perverts!

Don't let me see you creeps
touch my daughter again!

I wonder where they got their education.

- It's written on their jerseys.
- Scums of the earth.

Parents at the center.

WEDDING BANQUET

Smile.

Sit down, Loi Dai.

Let her be.

Ninth grandaunt and great aunt,
come right up.

- Come on.
- Come on.

You can go back to your seats now.

It's your turn now, Chauffeur Cheung
and Gardener Bing.

And don't forget my dear nanny.
Come right up.

- Who, me?
- You bet.

Let's go. They won't call us up.

- Let's find our seats.
- Sure.

Loi Dai.

Has everyone taken their pictures?

Right, we missed someone!

We missed out Lucky and Dolly.

Look how cute those pooches are.

Bottoms up.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

- Cheers.
- Thanks.

That's enough.

Paul, your Ferrari...

Okay, that's more than enough.

-It's useless. In Hong Kong,
-Didn't you hear me? I said that's enough!

- Sailing in a cruise is fun.
- Stop right there!

You know, my new home is almost ready.

I'll throw a housewarming party
and you're all invited.

How much did you spend on the décor?

- Well...
- How much?

- Just over two million.
- Yes, as she said.

It's a nice house, but it's a little far.

I bet your place is more convenient, Bill.

Are you still living
at the housing development?

Right.

- Yes.
- We are.

We'll pay you a visit someday.

Don't bother.

We've been renovating lately.

- Yes.
- Loi Dai.

What grade are you in this year?

What grade are you in?

- She's in 12th grade now.
- She's going to college soon.

Why don't you send her abroad?

- I sent my daughter...
- Excuse me.

to LA rather than put her
through those "knockout tests."

- Gosh.
- She's going to UCLA next year.

Year 1997 is around the corner.
Are you planning to migrate?

That never crossed our minds...

We may be Hongkongers,

but we have Chinese blood
running in our veins.

And we shall stick with our motherland.

To emigrate is an unscrupulous act.

We shall uphold
the unbreakable spirit of Hong Kong

and stay here

to witness the passage of time.

We shall devote our energy toward
the modernization of our motherland.

So, I implore all of you
to stay in Hong Kong,

instead of ending up as pariahs elsewhere!

Who wants another serving?

How about my cousin? He doesn't eat a lot.

SATELLITE TV

- Is the manager there?
- That's off limits!

- No thanks, it's sour.
- Come on.

Sir, I've come to inform you
that I bought you a Mark Six lottery.

Very well.

- If you'll excuse me, sir.
- Okay.

I've compared the numbers.

- I almost forgot the car keys.
- Sit down.

CHAN HEI CHEUNG

You didn't see anything just now, did you?

No.

It was nothing but child's play compared
to what I saw in the screening room.

And then in the parking lot...

Bill, you've been our anchor
for over ten years.

You should know better what to say

and what not to say, shouldn't you?

- Right?
- It's okay.

I've always stuck to the script
without adding anything.

That's my boy!

There's a Superstar Concert next week.
Do you want to come along?

I'm not into those things.

You should see what you ought to see

and pretend not to see what you ought not.

Right?

Yes. Thank you, sir.

This is Bill speaking.

Bill, the producer wants to see you.

The witch?

Miss, do you want to see me?

What is it?

Bill, you've been anchoring
for us for the past 18 years.

That surely was a lot of work.

As per company policy,
I'm obliged to inform you.

Finally, I'm getting promoted, aren't I?

Your three-month probation begins today.

What?

After 18 years, I still have
to be put on probation?

You were still in school
when I started here.

Let's not get into that.

Just look back at how many goofs
you've made in reading the news

within the past month alone!

- Just once?
- No need to count.

We've compiled all your goofs in one tape.

Now take a look at it yourself!

SATELLITE TV

The authorities have recently launched
an industrial safety campaign

to boost the awareness
of construction workers.

Whenever you see a danger sign,
do not go near...

It was just an accident.

Does that mean the next one
is an accident too?

I'm reporting live on the typhoon
in Sha Tau Kok.

We've got floods around here

and also some landslides.

The wind, it's too strong!

- Do you want to see more?
- No, thanks.

I know what happened there.

Please return this car key
to the manager for me.

Because you're close to him.

SATELLITE TV
TO: MR. LUI TAT PIU

This is demotion speaking.

What? Demotion?

That's where I end up now.

Bill speaking.

Remember the concert tickets
I mentioned earlier?

I'll ask the secretary to send you one.

Thanks but no thanks, sir.
You can keep them.

What happened?

Why don't you ask the producer?

Now I know what they mean

when they say that poor men
are short-tempered.

Now I'm furious enough to let it all out!

I've got to go.

I don't believe it.

You tell me, Bill.

I earned my Master in Communications
in America,

yet I'm stuck in probation here
for the past 18 months!

That isn't so bad.

Someone here has been serving
in the News Department for 18 years

and all he gets is another probation!

Who's the unlucky guy?

If I were him, I'd kill myself!

What's the point of living?

Kill myself? You kill yourself!

Bill, the manager called me.

He asked me to rescind the letter.

No, I think I'm done here.

I want to retire.

I'll give you one more chance.

A lot of young people here
are waiting for their chance.

You don't have to waste two chances on me
at the same time.

Listen up. If you want to fire me,
you've got to stick to your principles.

Principles are flexible, you know.

If they are, then they're not principles.

Who are you going to fire besides me?

Life at the housing development.

Four nosy witches can be seen playing
a round of mahjong.

Here is the witch of the East,

the witch of the South
and the witch of the West.

But someone's filling in
for the witch of the North.

- That's what I call a chicken hand.
- Shut up!

Let's see how my mom is doing.

- Brilliant!
- Knock it off!

- Cut it out.
- Damn.

Mom, don't break my camcorder!

You're wasting your time with that gadget.

What about your studies?

I am carrying the flame
for Hong Kong's new wave cinema.

I want to be like Steven Spielberg.

What did you say? You have a stash
of treasure inside your ass?

You're an asshole.

Give him a break, he's an adult now.

I wonder why I had to give birth
to that piece of shit.

TV guy, could you get me hot tea
instead of this?

Serving a bunch of hags. How undignified.

You piece of trash!

Trash can be useful too, you know.

How did it go? Did you win big?

Just a couple of dimes. Not too good.

You're quitting?

I have no time for this. My man and I
are about to look for a new home.

My daughters are all grown up.

This place is just not big enough.

Bill is such a smart guy.

Damn, I've lost 50 dollars today.

- That'd buy me 20 lotteries...
- Honey!

Honey!

Don't leave me, honey.

- Don't go.
- Let go of me!

I promise I'll look for a job tomorrow.

- I'll be a better man...
- Foul! That's a penalty kick.

Are you kidding me?
That can earn you a penalty kick?

Hey! Oh no, I don't have my keys.

Hey, honey! Don't leave me!

I can't go in without my key!

Go see Social Welfare.

They're the best at breaking in.

Can I?

Just tell them
you are Kwok Ah Nui's father.

Right.

Hey, Chiu Dai. What are you doing?

Dinner is about to be served.
Just leave this to me.

Slice it here.

Hey, give it back to me!

Can I borrow a pair of silk stockings?

You already have them.

But I've worn all of mine.
Everybody has seen them.

Just turn them inside-out and wear them.

- Come on, lend me yours...
- What's going on here?

I have a dance competition tonight,
and she won't lend me her stockings!

What's going on here?

It's just a small cut.

I'll get you some band-aids. Now shut up!

Lend me your purse,
so that it goes well with my dress.

- Why are you always looking at my stuff?
- You never use them to begin with.

Because you always borrow them!

Knock it off, you two!

Here it is.

You've got your dandruff all over my comb!

- They are yours.
- I never had dandruff!

Knock it off, you two!
This is a small apartment.

There's no need to shout.

I am warning you.

If I catch any of you raising your voice
in this place, you'll get it from me.

Dear.

Dear, I'm back!

What are you up to?

So you're home now.

You don't have to shout!

Dear, that's what everyone's doing.

This is the beat of the city,
the hip and trendy!

What are you talking about?

I said, we've got to catch up
with the times!

Oh, I see. Dear!

There's a registered letter for you!

From whom?

Your little brother, John in Manila!

That little bastard.
I never read his letters.

But you have to read them at least once.

I hate him the most!

He never respected me even one bit!

Never say his name when I'm around!

So, you're going to the dance
competition tonight, right?

You won't be home for dinner then.

You got yourself some milk?

Be my guest, have some more!

- Why did she have to be so loud?
- The place is too small for that.

At last, it's done.

Loi Dai, what do you think?

Are you taking that
to the science project contest?

Yes, the solar system
and its nine planets.

What do you think?

- Not bad.
- What do you mean, not bad?

Your Jupiter is too small.

And there's no Moon beside Earth.

You're being fussy, aren't you?

I don't know.

Wow, it's finished already?

The balls are round

- and they're colorful.
- They can turn them round and round too.

You're such a whiz kid.
You picked it up from me.

Here, give me a lottery number.

I'm going to be number one,
so it's going to be one.

One it is.

All of you, give me a number!

It's bad enough that you're a gambler.
Don't pass that trait down to our girls.

I'm just asking for their suggestions.

You act as if money fall from the sky.

Chow Yun Fat is rich
because he is hardworking.

Get the food!

Hey, Mamma Mia!

What's up, kid? Do you want to come in?

Yes, indeed!
You're brilliant indeed, Mamma Mia.

Hey, call me ma'am.

- And call me Smiley Joe.
- Smiley Joe!

Wait for a second, I'm getting dressed.

Don't rush, we have two hours
before the dance competition.

- Do you dance?
- I'm your sister's partner tonight.

We're going to win this one.

Then, show me your dance moves.

I don't think you look good
with that dyed hair.

Ma'am, it's not like that at all!

This one isn't dyed,
the rest of the hair is.

Hey, you're missing an earring.

Try to keep up with the times, ma'am.

People only wear one earring these days.

Oh my god. You pierced your ear?

That's what young people do, ma'am.

Everyone under 25 has pierced ears.

Then, will you fill in the holes
once you turn 26?

- You've got a great sense of humor, ma'am.
- Gosh.

Dad, are you free now?

I'm in the midst of something.

I smell something canny.

Dear, are you serving canned food again?

Dad.

I'd rather you call me sir.

Sir, canned food is better than nothing.

Sometimes, I don't even get
to eat leftovers.

My mom is a gambler.
She's all about mahjong and Mark Six.

And she doesn't like to cook.

I hate it when women gamble,
but don't cook.

- I second that.
- What do you think, ma'am?

You've got hands, so why don't you cook?

Me? Cook?

It's not so manly of men to cook,
you know.

Women today are not
mere slaves in the kitchen.

Because today's women
haven't met tomorrow's men.

I'm warning you now.
You're not suitable for my daughter.

Why not?

Mia and I go perfectly together.

We're a match made in heaven.
I'm a mimosa, and she's a social flower.

- Says who?
- Says Mr. Kan!

- Then, what are we?
- I'm the rice, and you're the cooker.

- Something has gotten into him.
- Is he possessed?

Smiley Joe!

Gosh.

Look at them shaking their asses.

Goodness.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Dai Dai, you forgot your purse.

- Oh, thank you. Bye!
- Bye!

- How quaint.
- Have fun!

And take care!

What number is it?

Twenty-six.

Twenty-six and?

Go on.

- How was the dance competition?
- I lost.

Men are so horrible!

- Did you quarrel with that greasy punk?
- More than that. We broke up for good!

- Did he step on you while dancing?
- Hey!

I'm so pissed!

We went out for a meal after the ball.

And then, he was just staring
at the waitress' thighs!

Is the menu written
on the waitress' thighs?

Hey!

Why didn't you leave on the spot?

Why would I?
I pulled off something better!

First, I ordered caviar.
It was 250 dollars.

Then, I ordered New Zealand rock oysters
for 280 dollars.

And then the main course,
baked lobster for 480 dollars!

Then, there was dessert.

He must be broke.

What a hearty meal.

You should've called and invited us.

I ate a thousand bucks worth of food
and made him foot the bill and buzzed off!

That's my girl!
Just like me when I was your age.

He relentlessly followed me,
so I gave him a good spank!

Hooray for you!

You've grown to be exactly like me.

I did the same to your dad
back in the day.

You're embarrassing me, fatso!

- I'll teach you more some other day.
- Yes.

Hey, what's your number?

- Fifteen.
- Fifteen.

Does it even work?

Trust the whiz kid.

And we're done.

Now, clean up and go to bed.

Closer.

Dear, our new home is very luxurious.

How is it upstairs?

It's really comfortable here.

Before this, I had to fart a lot
to get a pool bubbling like this.

Come down quickly.
The ball is about to begin.

Both of you, is the feast ready?

In a minute, my lady.

Either it's ready or it's not.
So it's not ready!

- Now go in there and make it ready!
- Yes, my lady.

- Are the fireworks prepared for tonight?
- Yes, master.

- Give them a test.
- Sure.

Wow, it's so beautiful!

The guests are going to be amazed tonight.

Mom, Dad, come take a look!

I don't get it.

Why did you pay twice the value
to acquire Crazy Bank?

Well, just for the fun of it.

Thank you.

Oh no, it's nothing, really.
It's not expensive.

Hey, be careful! Don't stain the carpet.

Where are your manners?

Hey, my antique vases cost a fortune.
Don't break them!

Hello?

What's keeping you? Hurry up!

It's going to be splendid tonight.

Honorable guests, tonight is not only
our housewarming party,

but also to celebrate my sister's victory
in the model competition.

Now, we'd like her to demonstrate
her model to us.

And her winning model is...

The Tai Long Wan Nuclear Power Plant!

A nuclear power plant?

- Marvelous.
- Councilman.

There's no need to take
a field trip to a nuclear plant.

All you have to do is to look at
my whiz daughter's amazing model

and take down your notes
based on this, okay?

Mom, Dad.

- Mom!
- What happened?

I just got divorced!

- Where's that Smiley Joe?
- Why?

As soon as we're together,
he went for some dumb blonde!

I'm so pissed!

Oh no, there's smoke coming out!

It's okay! It's completely normal.

It's going to be fine!

Let's get out of here!

- Get out of there now!
- Come here!

Hurry!

- Next station, Central.
- Please wait for the next train.

Let the passengers get down first!

Stop the train!

Next station, Central.

It's so stuffy, I can't breathe.

Bill?

Bill!

Where's Bill?

He went to the restroom. There he is.

You just had to sneak away every time.

- I got thrown up at.
- Look at your draft.

"1964, Kennedy assassinates."

- What is it?
- There's nothing wrong.

It's supposed to be "assassinated."

Don't you know grammar?
This is called the passive voice.

Say it.

- Passive voice.
- Revise it.

- It hurts!
- Are you going to be all right?

- My stomach hurts!
- What's wrong?

- Are you okay?
- It's her stomach.

Send her to the hospital.

The news bulletin will be on air
in one minute.

VTR, could you play a couple of songs?

Here, take it slow.

- Careful.
- Here.

This can't be.
The producer has to do something.

Bill, you take over the financial report.

Him? After all the goofs he had made?

Why him out of all people?

He's made countless mistakes.

You can't count on him.

I'll do it.

Going live in ten seconds.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three,

two, one.

LUI MO TAU, LUI TAT PIU

You're now watching the Financial Report.

Three, four.

Five, six, seven.

Eight, one.

Time for the news.

Du Du, the panda has been proven
not pregnant.

Previously, she had
given birth prematurely.

But she keeps showing signs of pregnancy.

According to the zoo reports,

Du Du is in the phase
where she'll be looking for a mate.

So, she might be a bit hot-tempered.

Ms. Lui Mo Tau will take it from here.

Close up on the witch.

Regarding Hong Kong Stock Exchange,
since the shares of Ba Xi Lin

started to rise in August,

numerous points have been achieved.

Last week, Hang Seng Index recorded
the highest record of all time in 1997.

The market closing index even went
above 2,000 points.

Thanks to Hang Seng's support,

companies like Chan Kwong Construction,
Wong Group's Newspaper,

Chi Tuit and others have achieved
10 to 30 percent increase in their shares

as compared to
the closing period last year.

Compared to the crisis
that happened two years ago,

it has increased by three to five times.

- We're in our last two minutes.
- Before holiday started...

The trading volume has also
decreased to 3,559 transactions.

While in September, it was still...

Hey, how did we get two shots?

- One of the buttons is jammed!
- I'll get someone to fix it.

There he goes.

Watch those two.

The market needs above 1,930 points
has been insufficient.

Since the record of having 1,930 points
has yet to be broken, so as of now...

However, Pin Rang Company
still have five days to...

For the gold market, after yesterday's
recovery, the international gold price

has increased its price
in the Asian market.

The price is ranged
between 300 and 500 dollars.

After the setback yesterday, the dollars'
currency exchange rate decreases today.

- What is he doing?
- Beats me.

Bill is out of his mind.
Get someone out there to stop him.

In the afternoon, it's 7.950.

In the evening, it's 7.7890.

The interest rate is decreasing.

In the US, the joint-agreement
to decrease interest rate

wasn't that effective.

- Oh no! Why am I on screen?
- With regard to the economy in the US,

it is still not being viewed
in a positive light.

That's all for today's
News and Financial Report.

Thank you for watching.

You're screwed now.

Bill, what's today's headline?

The headline is that I won't be reading
any headlines anymore.

- I want to see the manager...
- He's out of town!

But I saw him this morning.

He just left. He'll be back in a week.

Pauline.

- Hey.
- Wow, your box is pretty.

It's even prettier inside.
I finished it three days ago.

You'll surely win.

Get ready to treat me with a milkshake.

Where do we put it, miss?

- On the table right across the room.
- Okay.

I wonder if that volcano is active or not.

- I bet it's not.
- Hey, look.

My clock here
is entirely made out of wood.

There she goes!

- Enough of your "wow," okay?
- Sorry.

Quit saying "wow" all the time.

I can't help it.
Can you show me your project?

I'd like to take a good look.

Let me see yours first.

Where did you get this?

- I made it myself.
- Say what?

It's just a toy, not a science project.

The most scientific part of it
is the motor right here.

And it runs on solar power.

- A flashlight would do too.
- Did your brother help you with this?

No, I did it all by myself.

Pauline, look over there.

Pauline, what's your project?

- It's a model of the solar system.
- Solar system?

I already did that in fourth grade.

In my model, I used a light bulb
to light up the sun.

Then, the nine planets rotated
automatically.

And it came with Halley's comet.

But that was all nothing
compared to this project.

Take it away.

This robot is sound-activated.

It doesn't work.

Move!

Would you look at that?

- Bravo!
- Hooray!

Stop clapping! It's going haywire.

Hooray!

Pauline, you ruined my project.

Move, move, move!

- What should we do?
- Move, move.

I said, move! Move!

Move, move, move!

Can I have two more days
to submit my project?

But the competition is today,
you have to submit it today.

I still have lots of ideas!

It's good to add more details,
but I have to be fair to your classmates.

- But, miss...
- We're about to start judging.

Go back to your seat.

- Factory girl.
- Two stripes, I win!

- Now we're on to the...
- You're the worst person on air!

Dear.

Could you buy me a chicken
and two wings to stew?

Aren't you ashamed?

You're fired now. Can't you see
we're almost out of food?

I'm quite upset these days.
I could use something good to eat.

How can I look for a job
if I look so pale?

You can fall sick easily when you're poor,
so you have to eat well.

Sure! Where's the money?

Money? I don't have any.

I can't stand
having bean sprouts every day.

You'd better not worry
because everyone knows I'm on diet.

We're all going on a diet.

How about some char siu?

Keep the money!

- Mrs. Nam.
- Mr. Fung.

Don't ask us for money.

We're all down to chips now.

- Yes.
- If you want to borrow,

just go and ask Bill.

- Bill is the richest, right?
- Yes.

Bill!

Bill. It's me, Fung!

- Are you staying at home?
- I took leave.

Well, I'm kind of broke lately.

And my wife left me.
You're so much better off.

I'm so jealous of you.
You see, I'd like to...

- Borrow money?
- Yes!

Sure thing!

Here's 500 dollars. You can have it.

We're all under one roof,
so we should help each other.

That's what neighbors are for.

Lending money is like sharing coals
during winter. Here, take it.

Bill, you're right.

If everyone is like you,
I'd be rich by now!

Remember to pay me back!

Ma'am, I'm so grateful to you.

- What?
- In times like this,

your husband lent me 500 dollars
to fill my stomach.

- Thank you so much!
- Hey.

I'm going out for a steak, see you later.

You and your husband have hearts of gold.

Yes, you're generous and willing to help.

Indeed, we are.

- He's so generous.
- Wait until I get my hands on you!

Okay, I'm not eating.

Did you lend Fung 500 dollars?

Move your feet, I'm mopping the floor!

Mom, you're in my way!

Who's in whose way?

Time for Mark Six.

MARK SIX

When I lent someone money,
you gave me bruises all over.

But you yourself had to go out
to buy some lotteries.

When you lend someone money,
what do you get out of it?

Mark Six gives me a chance.

- Mom.
- Chance?

- If you lose, it'd be a punch on my face.
- Dad.

If you win, I'd be hit by a brick.

Hey, you're talking down on me
in front of our daughters!

If you're so afraid of being hit,
then I'm not betting!

Why quit? You bought it yourself.

- So we have to take a gamble.
- It's mine!

You have a lot there.

No wonder we end up with bean sprouts.

Eyes on the screen!

Here it comes, our first number is 22.

- Twenty-two.
- We got 22.

I have 22 here! I'm getting rich!

For the love of God,
please let me win this one!

I won't be greedy, just this once!
I give my thanks.

- Thanks.
- And here it comes.

The second number is six.

- There you go.
- What? I struck again!

- I got two right!
- We'll be richer than Chow Yun Fat!

And the third number is 40.

40.

I got three!

We're going to be rich
beyond our wildest dreams!

- Hush!
- ...three more numbers.

Three more numbers and someone will
walk home with 15 million dollars!

Look out, here comes the fourth one.

Now the fourth number is...

Now, I will repeat the last three numbers.
It's 30, 35, and 39.

We got three and that's it.

Everyone, lighten up.

You mean, "brighten up."

Don't be discouraged.
Let's do another one.

Dear, you first.

I give you number five.

Five.

- Ten.
- Ten.

- Fifteen, for the sake of it.
- Fifteen.

- Twenty.
- Twenty.

And 25 from me.

Dear, give me another number.

Let's top it off with 30.

Thirty.

Dear, if we win, I don't have to work.

Knock it off! Go find a job tomorrow.

Miss, another cup of coffee, please.

Sir, you've had six.

Aren't your hands trembling
from having so much coffee?

- No, you check out first.
- Okay.

Hey.

- Hey!
- How foolish of you.

Hold on, I saw someone I know.

Don't look.

- Sir.
- Bill, how do you know I'm here?

- I've been looking for you for a while.
- And you somehow got here?

It wasn't easy.

They said you were out of town.
I didn't think you'd be here.

I saw her again.

Why are you looking for me?

She fired me.

From now on, I can't follow you.

That's why I feel worried.
And when I'm worried,

I'll talk in a confusing way.
I'll be incoherent, dull

and talk nonsense!

Stop it. You can go back
to the News Department starting tonight.

This doesn't sound good.
It's like I'm threatening you.

I'm not that type of person.

You're not threatening me.

But I'm threatening you to threaten me!

- You're threatening me?
- Gosh! I'm threatening myself

to threaten you to threaten me.

Come back to work tonight.

It doesn't matter who threatens who.
Thanks a lot!

Dear!

- Where are the kids?
- They're still in class.

- I've got good news.
- What?

The manager rehired me.

Starting tonight, I'll be working again.

I'm glad to hear that.

I went to Wong Tai Sin to pray
just a couple of days ago.

I knew we were going to be lucky.

Things are looking up.

Dear.

I know you're going to like
this shark's fin soup.

And here's a bottle of XO.

- Dear, this is too much.
- What?

I'm not back at work yet,
let alone earn anything.

But you're splurging already.

Why are you chuckling?

Why did you say I'm chuckling?
You must be out of your mind.

Don't get cheeky on me.

Where did you get the money
to buy this kind of food?

It's my own allowance.

You're willing to use your allowance
to buy expensive food?

Dear, I know I was wrong.

So, I'm making it up to you.

I won't eat until I know
where you got the money.

Tell me, where did you get
the dirty money?

Dirty money?

So that's why you've been smirking.

I see. You hate it when I'm poor.

You met another guy!

I have no idea what you're talking about.

This stuff costs us 1,000 dollars.

With that much money,
you can perm your hair,

play mahjong, buy lotteries,
and dream on about windfalls!

It only motivates you when you see money!

- Money is all you care about.
- Hey, they're arguing.

You're getting worse by the day.

- You'd sell your own soul for money.
- Pipe down.

- You're shameless!
- That's enough!

You're making me lay down all the cards.

I know I can't hide anything from you.

Finally, you admit it.

When I tell you the truth,
you'd better brace yourself.

So you've been seeing someone?

To be honest with you, I...

struck the lottery.

What did you...

I can't hear what they're saying.

Dear, you really struck the lottery?

- That's right.
- How much?

Tell me now. How much did you win?

- It's 190,000 dollars.
- 190,000 dollars?

I've never had so much money all my life.

Dear, once we bring home that money,
we'll count the money for many days.

And once we're done counting,
we can spend it together!

What do you mean by "we"?

I bought the lottery myself,
so the money's all mine.

- You're not getting a share of it.
- But dear,

we're a couple. We share everything.

What's yours is mine too.

I got my part from having affairs,
so it's dirty money.

It doesn't matter if it's dirty money.

We'll wash it together
and it will be fine.

- It stinks!
- No, it smells good!

You're really absurd, you know.

We women don't earn like you do,
let alone strike lotteries.

I was just kidding, dear.

How could a woman like you have an affair?

Are you saying I'm unattractive?

No, you're gorgeous just the way you are!

Dear!

Dear, I can't live without you.

I'll love you until the end of time, dear!

- Gross!
- Nothing to see here.

190,000 dollars, isn't that a lot?

190,000 dollars, I tell you.
190,000 dollars!

Bill, this is your last chance.

If you screw up again,
pack your bags and get out of here.

How could she possibly make
190,000 dollars in one year, right?

Show me the ropes.

Du Du, the panda, is finally pregnant.

- A wonderful day at the zoo...
- On to the Financial Report, now!

Before the Financial Report,
this is just in from Mark Six.

The winning numbers are

5, 10, 15,

20, 25, 30.

We're rich!

The last number is 30.
Only one person struck the grand prize.

The prize money is 199,700 dollars.

- Hey, he said it wrong.
- It's not 190,000 dollars.

- It's 19 million dollars!
- No.

It's 19 million dollars.

Nineteen million?

Is that true, dear?

- It's true, dear. It's true!
- It's true!

Nineteen million.

Nineteen million.

Why are you giggling?

Why can't I?

Viewers.

There he goes again.

I'm announcing my resignation

from this exploitative TV station,

where they pick on low-wage earners.

- I've wasted 18 years of my youth...
- Hey!

What do you want, bitch?

- Especially scum like her.
- This way, please.

She has an affair
with the station manager,

but acts like nothing had happened!

Every time I clock in,
I have to endure her bullshit!

What are you giggling about?
Are you out of your mind?

Dear, let's look for a new home tomorrow.

I could use a bigger place.
Let's get out of this stuffy apartment.

If we buy a bigger house,

everyone will know we're filthy rich
and start asking loans from us.

But we can move out secretly, can't we?

I'll think about it. Let's get some sleep.

Hey, dear. We'll move out eventually.

So we shouldn't have to pay rent
to the housing development.

Besides, they've been marking up
the fees too high.

Yes. Back to sleep now.

Hey, dear.

Starting tomorrow,
I'll cook you chicken stew with abalone

and lobster for breakfast. How about that?

That'd be too much cholesterol.

- It'll give me a heart attack.
- Oh, come on.

I've never heard you say
you don't like chicken with abalone.

Okay, back to sleep now.

Hey, dear.

Promise me from now on that
you'll stop playing mahjong with them.

You might play your hearts out
until you spill the beans!

No, I won't.

Of course you will.

I have an idea.

Let's take some of our stuff
to the pawn shop,

so they'd think we're poor.

- That's a good idea.
- Back to sleep!

Hey! What are you thinking of?

- What?
- Do you think I can't tell?

Are you wishing for me to be dead,
so you'd go after someone else?

You're so big and strong.
You won't die so easily.

Don't think about other women!

- I won't. Back to sleep.
- Yes, right.

Dear.

Hands up!

Dear, forgive me.
I won't wish you to be dead.

Mia.

Mia!

It's Mia! Guys, I found her!

She's all alone!

Dai Dai, our new pool is ready.

- Do I have a place in the new house?
- You love me,

so of course you get a room.

This is for you.

And this is for Loi Dai.

- Hey, watch it!
- Sorry.

Dai Dai, why don't you get tanned
somewhere else?

If you keep lying down here,
I can't finish my new home.

Unless the boys at this beach
don't grow legs.

Hey!

Smiley Joe, look what you did
to my sandcastle!

I'm sorry.

Mia.

I'm sorry for what I did
at the restaurant.

Get out of here,
you heartless piece of trash.

- Go buy an ice-cream, kid.
- Don't go soft on him!

You must be here because you're sick
of the girls at the restaurant.

No, it's not what you think it is.

I was looking at the mole
on the waitress' thigh.

I thought it was a fly,
but she didn't feel itchy at all.

When I looked at it closely,
it turned out to be a mole!

There are a lot of girls here
with moles on their thighs.

Why don't you look for a fly then?

I've seen them all. Those aren't moles.

They're all flies!

Like that will impress me.

Oh no, guys, it didn't work!

Didn't work? Neither does my taxi.

My taxi broke down because of you.

- I'm going to be fired for sure.
- Hey.

We have to stick together, guys!

No matter what happens,
you've got to help me this time.

What can I do?

What are you doing here all alone, miss?

- You could use some company.
- And you got a nice tan too.

- What do you want?
- Just teasing you.

Are you upset? It's dangerous
not to have a man by your side.

Mia, I'm here to save you!

Don't be afraid,
we won't do anything to you.

Who knows what could happen next?

Mia, I'm coming to rescue you!

- What the hell do you want?
- Quite a few, actually.

- But now is not the time.
- Mia!

I'm coming to save you...

Help me.

- What a letdown, Smiley Joe!
- Come on.

Smiley Joe!

Smiley Joe.

Mia.

Mia, I finally rescued you.

- Smiley Joe.
- Oh, Mia!

Dai Dai!

Dai Dai!

Dai Dai!

What? Your parents struck the lottery?

Yes, things will be more romantic
between us now that I'm rich.

I'll ask my dad to buy us a yacht,
so we can go sailing!

Then, we can both go around the world.
Oh, Mamma Mia.

Dad, Uncle Six sent you a postcard
all the way from Manila.

Just read what he has to say.

All he has is nothing but drivel.

He said he'll visit Hong Kong
and ask you out for dinner.

Could you reply to him for me?
Tell him to buzz off.

But Dad, you are brothers.
Why won't you eat with him?

You always eat out
with people you don't like.

That's different. Your mom is my wife.

I don't understand why you hate
Uncle Six so much.

Of course you don't.

You never had chili sauce
poured into your pants

or black spots drawn on your face
while sleeping.

You're being so petty, Dad.

And the worst of all
was during my birthday party.

He placed a cake right onto my face

right in front of all my friends
and relatives.

And he chuckled all the way.

He really enjoys watching me suffer.

Dad, I want to buy a yacht.

Sure.

Thanks, Dad. You're the best.

Don't thank me.
You have to pay it yourself.

- I mean the one that costs 20 million.
- We're not going to spend that much!

- But Dad...
- Dad, I need to talk to you.

- Dad!
- That's enough from you.

I'm going over to you. Goodbye.

I've asked two friends of mine
to go to a concert in Japan for Christmas.

But I haven't finished.

To me, the conversation is over.

I've asked my friends out to travel.

Why not travel to Bride's Pool?

You're afraid I'll spend all the money.

It's not safe for young women
to travel to Japan in small groups.

It is!

We're going to one of the safer places.

- Can you speak Japanese?
- English will do.

When the Japanese speak English,
only the Japanese understand them.

In Japan, both sexes bathe together.

And Japanese men piss all over the place.

That's not a place for someone like you.

We're going to study the arts in Harajuku.

We want to be like Seiko Matsuda
and Momoko Kikuchi.

If I make it big, I'll be rich!

But what if you end up like Yuhiko Okata
and commit suicide?

I'm going to learn about
Japanese culture and history.

History? You're talking about history?

The Japanese have altered
all the history they have.

Remember the time
when Japan attacked the Chinese?

- Stop grumbling. Dad!
- Besides,

they seized Diaoyutai,
so we have nowhere to fish!

So you're not going to Japan.
We're going to the mainland for Christmas.

To the mainland?

Why not? You can go anywhere
you like there.

Your clothes will blend in there.

He's so old-fashioned.

See if it's Mr. Fung.
If he's here for money,

- tell him I'm not in.
- Got it.

What do you think, dear?

What did you do to your hair?

I had it cut, permed and highlighted.

It only costs 2,000 dollars.

Gosh, you're such a jerk.

This is Soir de Paris from France.
Do you like it?

Wow, someone bought a bikini!

It's mine, and I'm going
to wear that this year,

so that I'll look trendy.

- Let me know which beach you're going to.
- Sure.

- So I can ask them to put up red flags.
- Don't think about it!

Look at your hair.
You look like a Northern lion dance.

You've changed a lot
ever since we got married.

Now you are addicted
to clothes and makeups.

Help me put on some makeup.

Hey, be careful with that!
There's a diamond inside.

- It costs me 3,000 dollars.
- Dear.

People wear clothes to keep warm.

You don't judge people
from what they are wearing.

What counts is what's inside their heart.

Our homegrown emporiums
aren't going anywhere

because they sell durable stuff
at an affordable price!

Hey, I won almost 20 million dollars.

We can't take it with us once we die.

As I expected from a housewife.

None of us has an income.

Twenty million dollars is enough
to buy us food for a lifetime.

- Dad.
- So we can't waste that money.

- Dad.
- You'll be lost in seeking pleasures.

It doesn't matter,
I get lost all the time.

If I buy a yacht for you today,
tomorrow you'd buy an ocean liner.

Today you'd travel east,
the next day you'd go west.

- But Dad...
- You may be a lion today,

but you'll end up a shrew tomorrow!

By the way, I found a new apartment.

A new apartment?
What's wrong with this place?

It costs 500 dollars a month.
Where can you get that?

And I just selected a Mercedes.

It's easy to buy a car,
but to maintain it is a different story.

Listen, I'm planning to emigrate!

But Dad, you once said
that China is modernizing.

What do you know?

We're so rich now.
What if the others find out?

We're like sitting ducks here.

- So we have to get out as soon as we can.
- Hey, you're not making any sense.

Remember that all of us
had to pick a number,

so each of us has the right
to spend the money.

Don't you remember?

I picked two numbers at that time.

That makes me the largest stockholder,
so I have the right to speak,

decide and execute!

I object! We want democracy!

The Chinese are not into democracy.

We want freedom!

What good is freedom
when your account is empty?

- Dad, I'll just borrow from you.
- I've counted it all.

You owe me 368,000 dollars
ever since you were born.

- Dad.
- And you, even more!

- And you too!
- Me?

You owe me 138,000 dollars.

So I'll deduct that from your stock value.

Starting tomorrow,
each of you will be allocated

- only 36 dollars every day.
- Hey!

- Whether we work or not...
- We only get 36 dollars!

You're one crazy bastard.

WISHING WELL

Hey, I don't know what naughty things
you are up to tonight.

I am not sure if you caused
my loss of money and keys.

Dear.

Dear.

Dear, you're the best.

Of course I am, now get back to sleep.

There'll be a lot of soda over there,
so don't drink what we have at home.

Wow, what a nice suit you're wearing.

Mr. Fung, we're not really that well off.

You don't judge a person by his clothes.

We're going to a banquet,
so we have to be at our very best.

In fact, we're poor.

Don't get us wrong.

Let's go.

- Good for you to know.
- Let's go.

- Same goes for the rest of the block.
- Let's go.

Did he ask me to return his money?

Look, it's an aquatic show.

- Have a drink.
- Thanks.

My two daughters have been training
synchronized swimming for three months.

Even their instructor invited them
to represent Hong Kong.

- I see.
- What they're doing right now,

it's called the Lobster move.

- Looks like a lobster, doesn't it?
- Yes.

Damn! They invited us all the way here
but they didn't even serve us soda.

There's no need to complain.

Now, we have 20 million dollars
while they only have a couple million.

Just bear with it.
It's not worth arguing with them.

The living standards in Hong Kong
are truly astounding.

Your villa property is so expensive.

You're indeed living a lavish life,
my cousin.

I've lived more than half my life
in this property.

What matters most
is I get to live comfortably.

Bill.

Hi, John.

John, go talk to your big brother.

- Come on.
- Dear!

- So that's my brother-in-law.
- Dear!

So my in-laws are here as well.

I didn't notice you sitting here.

Of course you didn't notice us
with your nose stuck up in the air.

Bill, ma'am.

- John.
- It's not every day

that we have so many relatives
gathering here.

It really helps when you're rich.

Otherwise, you wouldn't meet us like this.

Because we're not poor anymore...

Ma'am, your cheongsam is gorgeous.

I remember you wore it
at the last two banquets.

It's so finely crafted.

No wonder you had to wear it every time.

This is the last time I'm wearing it.

I'm going to switch to fur
once it gets colder.

Too bad.

If not, how am I going to spend
my 20 million dollars?

- What? Twenty million?
- Twenty million?

- Yes, the other day I struck...
- She had a stroke.

So she's just babbling.

- Are you nuts?
- We need to attend to our guests.

See you around.

Mom, the pool is so huge!

Nothing to be envious about.
Our pool is going to be bigger!

That's what she said. I'm not with her.

- Meet your Uncle Six.
- Uncle Six.

Is she the youngest one?

We haven't seen each other
for a long time.

You deserve a welcome dinner. Right, dear?

How about I invite you all
for dinner tomorrow?

That won't be necessary.

You can drop by at ours
for dinner tomorrow.

Really? Well, I appreciate that.

- Sure, be there or be square.
- Come early, alright?

- It's Koji Tamaki!
- It's Koji Tamaki!

Turn it up.

Hey! Keep it down, will you?

Your TV keeps breaking down.

- I'd better go watch it at home.
- Me too!

- You're outdated.
- Talk to your dad

- about the Japan trip, okay?
- Or we're not waiting for you.

Goodbye, little fella.

Keep it down, you bitch!

Or I'm going to blow up your room...

What made you change your mind
to invite your brother over for dinner?

Well, I've prepared a delightful feast
especially for him.

Get out of here!

- What's going on?
- Mia.

- Weren't you at the movies?
- He's horrible!

He was glaring at the ticket seller
when we were at the box office.

- Damn, you're such a pervert!
- No.

I was just looking at the mole.

I've been studying fortune-telling lately.

From what I gathered, a person carries
a certain and distinct fate

depending on where their mole is located.

Why did you have to stare at the chest?

- Because there were two moles there.
- Everyone has two "moles" on their chests.

But those were way bigger.

It signifies high ambitions.

Hey, you're such a pervert!

It's not that he's a pervert.
The ticket seller was a man!

So, are you gay?

It was a man?

I didn't notice.

Smiley Joe, let me ask you something.

Do you like men or women?

- Women, of course!
- Then, prove it.

I like you, Mia!

- I really like her.
- You creep!

You sex-crazed freak.

I don't want to see you come near
my daughter ever, you punk!

Come on!

It doesn't matter
if your boyfriend is rich or not,

as long as he cares for you
and treats you well.

You'd better keep punks
like him out of your life!

Mia!

- You are now watching...
- Men are nothing but jerks!

We should've thrown this TV away by now.

Audio.

What a nutcase.

Video.

This is a baboon from Africa.
It's only a couple of months old.

Look how amazing it is.

All set. Now take this.

What's Loi Dai doing on TV?

What the hell?

Where have I seen her before?

It's one of Bill's daughters.

Damn!

How did you like the baboon?

Up next on Animal Wonders,
we will take you to Denmark

to see the jumping spider.

Gosh, that was embarrassing!

What happened?

-The moment we say goodbye
-I don't know.

-We have to say it eventually
-The ladies' man is here!

I say from the very bottom of my heart

Amor, amor, amor

Damn it!

Amor, amor, amor

What do you mean by amor?

You sing like a broken record! Geez.

I love you so much

But you said farewell

-Amor, amor, amor
-Pick a tile.

Amor, amor, amor

Oh, a self-pick!

- I won.
- That song screwed me over.

-I really love you
-You creep!

We've broken up, so you better drop dead!

But he's still useful to me.

Amor, amor, amor

What more do you want, Smiley Joe?

- Do you really like my daughter?
- I really do.

Leave us alone.

- Then promise me one thing.
- What is it?

It's not like I like you.

If you like my daughter,
you have to go through me.

No problem, sir. Just say it.

Are you free tomorrow?

I'm not so sure.

If I'm busy in the afternoon,
then I'll be free in the morning.

If I'm busy in the morning,
then I'll be free in the afternoon.

If I'm busy all day,
then I'll be free at night!

- So are you busy tomorrow?
- Tomorrow is a Sunday,

so I'll be free all day!

Get a pen and paper and write this down.

Tomorrow, you'll be disguising
as a bakery deliveryman

- and then help me deliver a cake.
- Do I get to wear a tie?

- It doesn't matter.
- It does to me.

The smarter you look,
the more tips you get.

You won't get any tips.
You just have to buy me a cream cake.

- Should I write "Happy Birthday" on it?
- Don't write anything!

Make sure it has lots of cream!

"No tie, no tips."

"Add cream."

Bring the cake to my place tomorrow.

"Bring it to my place."

- It's my place.
- Of course it's my place.

Just write "your place".

"To your place."

Remember this man.

Once you see him,
throw the cake into his face!

That'd be fun!

So that's why there are no tips.

I've waited ten years for this.

Bill.

You think I'd do it again?

John, this is Loi Dai.

Say hello to him.
This is my second daughter.

And that's my eldest, Dai Dai.

Uncle Six.

What's with her?

She had a quarrel with her boyfriend,
so she ended up wailing all day.

- Uncle!
- Good girl.

This is for you.

- Say thank you.
- Thank you, uncle!

Look out, there could be
a dead mouse inside.

- Stop it.
- You remember that time?

Of course I do.

Ever since you came to this world,
I had to go through a world of misery!

Come on, dear.

Bill, I want to apologize
for all that I've done to you.

You never apologized to me!

But I had to do it today, because

time has caught up with me.

I don't have much time to live.

I wonder what trick he's up to now.

I'm serious this time.

I have leg cancer.

The doctor said I have only a few months.

And you're the closest to me.

So I have to inform you tonight.

This is awesome!

I'm so elated!

Pity him! He's still young and unmarried.

I've always considered him an enemy,

so I never treated him well.

But this could be the last time
we see him.

Get a hold of yourself.

But I can't!

- Have a seat.
- Dai Dai, are you joining us for dinner?

- No, thank you!
- Good thing I didn't cook for you.

Loi Dai, see if the soup is ready.

SMILEY JOE

- Hurry up, uncle.
- Okay.

Have you ever thought
of buying a house and a car?

Yes, we do. Do you have any suggestions?

I've worked at Hang Fung Bank for over
a decade, and I have a few quotas left.

I could give them all to you.

So you'll enjoy a really low-interest rate
for your house and car purchase.

I hope you'll gladly accept
my sincere offer.

Have some chicken feet,
it could help with your leg.

- Go take your seat.
- Eat with us.

Why are you all looking so glum?

How about I tell a joke? It's funny.

Sure.

There was once this silly guy
who has a tumor on his left leg.

- Is it really funny?
- It is!

So he went to the hospital
and had his leg cut off.

After the operation, the patient woke up

and the doctor greeted him miserably.

The doctor said,
"I have good news and bad news."

"Which one would you like to hear first?"

The patient said,
"Tell me the bad news first."

So the doctor said, "The bad news is,
I cut off your right leg."

What's the good news?

The doctor said, "The good news is,
your left leg is cancer-free!"

- Go get the soy sauce.
- And the saucers.

Why do you need four people
to get the soy sauce?

Now you'd better watch your mouths.

Tonight, we have to treat him
really nicely.

And we're going to be nice to him
from now on.

I'll go get it.

Who is this for?

- It's you.
- No, Joe. Don't!

It's him. It's the man in the picture!

With a luxurious car like this,
it really makes me proud!

Well, you could always hire a chauffeur.

But it'll cost me a fortune, right?

You could use one of my quotas.

The car now costs half its value,
so it's worth it.

Dear, it would make us even prouder
if you hire a chauffeur.

Mom, there's a big swimming pool.

I love it!

Of course.

After buying a house and a car,
we have ten million dollars left.

I suggest you save it in my bank.
I'll open a foreign deposit for you

with 18 percent interest.

Dear, that would earn us
a million dollars per year.

I may not spend them all.

I could also manage it for you.

I'll buy you whichever currency
that goes up in value.

That's great, dear.
We're making money out of money.

Too bad I won't stick around for so long.

Don't shake your leg, it's bad luck.

You're shaking your wealth away.

How superstitious.

Loi Dai.

When I found out that I have cancer

and only a few months to live,

I wanted to record a video

to tell all my relatives

not to shake their legs.

No matter what.

Never ever shake your legs.

If I hadn't shaken my legs,
I wouldn't be here now,

telling you all about my leg cancer.

Don't be sad, my brother-in-law.
We gain some, we lose some.

Life is like money.

It comes, then it goes.
That's how the world works.

So you're here to see the new house!

I thought you were bluffing.

What a gorgeous place.
Do you have any room for me?

- Where's your sister?
- Inside.

- You can't go in!
- Why?

You're supposed to ask before entering.
What are you here for?

- Can I use the bathroom?
- Sure you can.

It's right over there.

Where's the bathroom?

- Inside.
- Thanks!

Young men like him just won't grow up.

- Is Smiley Joe here?
- Yes, he's using the bathroom.

Look at your boyfriend.
He's so humiliating!

That was a big bathroom.

- Your fly is open.
- Right.

Mia.

How could you take a piss like that?

- There's only one way to piss.
- You flasher!

How can I piss if I don't flash?

Do you expect me to piss with my fly shut?

Go away, you lowlife!

How does that make me a lowlife?

You all are!

You flasher!

You're not only a flasher,
but also a lecher!

It's not what you think.

Are you trying to be a gold digger
by hitting on my daughter?

You know that love
can't be bought cheaply.

You have to make sure your man
is a perfect match for you.

Some men would treat you nicely,
so they'd live off you!

Hop on.

Mia!

So what if you've got 19 million?

- Show-offs!
- Who struck the lottery?

- Why should I tell you?
- Drink up.

- Hey, pal.
- Coming.

- It's only for you.
- Give me another round.

I've never been so humiliated.

If I get rich like you one day,
I'll show your daughter a perfect match!

Drink up.

- Did your girlfriend strike a lottery?
- It's Mamma Mia!

- Who?
- It's her mom, she struck the lottery.

Mamma Mia be damned!

Pal, we got to do something.

Let's do something to her mom.

That's right!

Let's do something to her mom!

That's her!

No, let's turn back. Call it off for now.

What now?

She recognizes me.

I see.

Let's drive by and grab some pantyhose.

Wear it.

Good call.

No, this is not the right size.

This is size two, I need size four!

- Over your head!
- I see.

- Bye.
- Bye.

The European size two fits me.

- But mine doesn't fit.
- Look, she's leaving!

Get moving!

Over here!

- The door is locked.
- This side!

Help!

- Catch her!
- Help me!

- Help!
- She's over there!

Help!

Help!

- Help!
- I got her!

Help!

Hurry!

Help!

Loi Dai, have you finished packing
for your Japan trip?

There's nothing to pack.
Just a few more empty suitcases

and credit cards to boot.

Now you can buy whatever you want.

You better not be so stingy and mean.

Dad, I bought us a new TV set.

It has a stereo.

- Turn it up.
- After 19 years, Hang Fung Bank

has been declared bankrupt.

- What bank?
- Experts estimate that

- It's the one where we saved our money.
- It involves funds

about 30 billion dollars.

The collapse of the bank is the ninth case

in a string of banks running
into financial difficulties since 1985.

Guys, I have good news and bad news.

- Which one would you like first?
- Tell me the good news.

The good news is, I don't have leg cancer.

- The doctor told me.
- And the bad news?

The bad news is,
your 19 million dollars are gone.

- Oh no, ma'am!
- Dear.

Don't be sad.

"We gain some, we lose some."
Just like you said, "Life is like money."

"It comes, then it goes.

- That's how the world works."
- Quit sneering at us!

You're nothing but trouble!

I'm a victim, too. I lost my job.

Give me back my 19 million dollars!

Give it back!

Dad.

- Stop it! Don't fight!
- I'll strangle you!

Stop it!

- Calm down!
- Give it all you've got!

- Calm down, please!
- Go to hell!

I'm going to choke you to death!

I'm going to choke you to death!

You better give it back to me!

Hello?

Give us back our money.

Give it back, you bitch.

Kidnapped?

Stop fighting!
Chiu Dai has been kidnapped!

We're not playing around this time.

We'll show you we're serious!

Dad, help me! You may not like me so much,

but I'll support you all my life.
Don't let me die!

Did you hear that?
We want 19 million in ransom.

Are you kidding?
We live in a housing development.

What? I thought you said
you struck a lottery.

The prize money's all gone.
Didn't you watch the news?

Hang Fung Bank went bust!

Really? Turn on the TV.

Don't pretend you're poor.

No, this is for real!

Quit the pretense and get us the money.

If you call the cops, I'll kill her!

Bill, call the cops.

No. If I do that, they'll kill her.

What do you care? Scram!

What should we do now?

A mouse bit me, I'm scared!

Looks like it's only getting worse.

What do you mean by "looks like"?
It's really, really bad!

It's all because of you, Joe.

You planned it, you handled it,
and you carried it out!

I just wanted to scare the fat woman.

I was impulsive, and now it came to this.

See? You act without thinking.

All it takes is one impulsive act
and everyone knows about it.

- There you go.
- Then let's release her.

- You got to be kidding me.
- Hey.

- Are you nuts?
- Don't be stupid.

If we let her off, we're still kidnappers!

If we receive the ransom,
we're still kidnappers.

We should get the money
before letting her go, you idiot!

I'm done.

We're all drenched now.

We can't wipe ourselves out of it.

Since your cover is not blown yet,

you should go spy on them.

Let us know if they've called the cops.

- I got to go wash my hair.
- Go ahead, get drenched.

Smiley Joe.

Do you know that someone
kidnapped my daughter?

Do you know who did it?

I have no idea.

That's a relief.

This is all your fault!

Why did you open that foreign deposit?

Now we've lost all our 20 million dollars!

We can pretend this never happened.

- I mean, like we never won it.
- Pretend what?

- We won that money!
- Of course you had 20 million.

Not many were as lucky as you.

Now is not the time to whine over money.
We have to save our daughter.

How are we going to save her
if we don't have the money?

I've returned my plane ticket.

These are all the savings
I've had since I was a girl.

Loi Dai.

I hope it's enough to save her.

- Thanks, but you shouldn't have.
- Loi Dai.

You're a good girl.

- Don't touch the phone!
- I'm sorry.

Bad news, they're broke!

The bank went bankrupt,
so they lost their savings.

So we did this for nothing?

Ouch, there are a lot of mosquitoes here!

Why don't we just let her go?

Let her go? That'd be very risky.

How much money do they have left?

- About 10,000 dollars.
- 10,000 dollars?

What an insult. We're keeping her!

Unless they want to insult us
several times.

It's like taking rice
from a beggar's bowl.

Once you get some, you're part of it.

Don't be impetuous.
I know her sister is your girlfriend.

But we're a gang!

- Really?
- Is that right?

- Of course!
- Ask for 500,000 dollars from them.

Hello?

Hello, this is Bill.

You've heard about the bank.

What? 500,000? We don't even have 50,000.

Please don't hurt my daughter.
I'll pay up!

- How's my daughter?
- She's fine!

I'm letting her watch some TV
while giving her candy.

It comes in sweet chunks.

I want to hear from her
before I pay. Chiu Dai!

Mom. there are a lot of mice here!

You heard that?

Why don't you borrow 500,000?

Tomorrow afternoon, put the money
in a two-inch-thick briefcase

and take a cellphone with you.

Go to Kowloon Tong station
and take the train at 3:45.

You'll see your daughter there.

We're going to tape them in secret.

John, are we going to hand in
the ransom in a train?

I looked all over,
but I still can't see the kidnapper.

- Hello?
- Where are you now?

- We just went by the Chinese school.
- There's a highway ahead.

You'll see your daughter there.

Once you arrive here,
throw the ransom out of the train.

How can we do that?
The windows are all sealed.

You can throw it out
through the washroom window.

It's this window.

It's two-inches thick, perfect.

The train will stop at Tai Po.

Even if we call the cops,
they'll have plenty of time.

Then I won't be able to rescue
my daughter!

They're so cunning.

- I'll go record them as evidence.
- Okay.

Dad!

- Chiu Dai!
- Toss out the bag.

- Toss out?
- Dad!

- Dad!
- Okay.

Dad!

Hurry!

I'll get you out of there!

Dad!

Bill.

I've lost all my fortune!

You've got your ransom now. Are you happy?

Bill, I'm so sorry. I'll let her off soon.

Who are you?

Oh no! Now, get off at Tai Po station
and go to Ma On Shan quarry.

Head to Ma On Shan quarry.

Here comes the money!

Now that the rear wheel has sunk,
can you push the car?

Hey, kid, listen.
I'll push you in a moment.

You say "pee-pee," and I'll let you go.

I get it, Smiley Joe.

- How did you know it was me?
- I figured it out long ago.

I knew it all along,
but I didn't expose you.

Oh no, I need to use
the restroom real quick!

- Shut up!
- I can't hold it much longer.

Stop it!

- You got to hold, hold, hold it!
- I can't.

Let her go do her stuff.

She'll be back in a short while.

What a pain in the ass.

QUARRY AREA
NO ENTRY FOR UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL

You didn't even close the door.

Hurry.

Run as fast as you can!

Run along!

Why did you let her go? Are you nuts?

- We'll kill her once we catch her.
- Please don't, she's still a kid.

Hey!

Don't kill her. She's still a child.

Shame on you! Shit!

You aren't going anywhere!

NO ENTRY FOR UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL

There's an opening.

- I got to call my wife.
- Bill, call the cops.

- Call them?
- Yes.

I'll kill you!

Chiu Dai?

Help!

MAIN SWITCH

Help!

Help!

Help!

Dad, save me!

Chiu Dai!

Dad, help me!

Uncle John!

Uncle John!

- Chiu Dai.
- Uncle John.

Chiu Dai!

- Bill.
- Dad!

- Chiu Dai!
- Dad!

Don't ever leave me again.

Chiu Dai!

There's one under the pile of rocks
and another at the gateway.

The rest, follow me!

- I love you, sweetheart.
- Dad.

- Chiu Dai.
- Dai Dai!

Chiu Dai!

- Mom!
- You scared me to death!

- Are you okay?
- Mom.

Good girl.

You bastard, you scum.

- You kidnapped my daughter, you scum.
- I want to beat you to death!

There's another one.

Leave him alone! He saved me.

He's a nice guy.

Only those two are the kidnappers.

Smiley Joe.

Smiley Joe.

- He's part of this!
- He's part of this!

Don't let him get away!

Smiley Joe, I misunderstood you.
You're such a great man.

You're a hero to me. You're brilliant!

He's part of this, too!
Don't let him get away!

- Hooray.
- Hooray.

- Smiley Joe, are you washing the rice?
- I'm cooking.

About the abduction,
it's between you and me.

Don't tell anyone else.

I won't do anything bad anymore.

Chiu Dai.

Smiley Joe.

- Mia wants to see you.
- Mia.

- My Mia...
- Hey, Smiley Joe.

It's payback time!

Hey, go wash yourself.

I don't want to be filthy rich anymore.

I'd rather be poor than to be
a kidnapper's target.

At least, I have
my three precious daughters.

More than three.

- What, did you...
- Congrats, Bill!

I bet it's a boy this time.

If it's another girl...

- You'll return it to the hospital!
- You'll return it to the hospital!

That's right.

This just came in.

The Finance Secretary made
an official statement an hour ago

that foreign reserves will be utilized

- to bail out Hang Fung Bank.
- Thank you. What?

Despite facing numerous objections
from among the council,

Hang Fung has accepted
a government takeover

and will resume operations tomorrow.

Hence, Hang Fung account holders
will have their deposits restored.

Keep it down.

Let's not let anyone else
find out about this.

Mr. Fung, we're out of funds to lend you.

No, I'm here to return
the money I borrowed.

My wife came back with another man
and they're staying together.

Why are you so happy about it?

I'm so happy because he's rich!

Mr. Fung.

What?

You call yourself a man?

Subtitle translation by Cheo Lek Tan