Original subtitles

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): I'm saying that I've seen things

that you wouldn't believe.

We hit this one world, right?

Full of snakes and bats.

This crazy shaman, he was after Q-Ball's brain.

-When he said he wanted to take Q-Ball's brain, how did

that make you feel?

-How did I feel?

-Yeah.

-Uh, I guess I felt that I was glad it wasn't my

brain he was after.

I mean, how would you feel?

-My feelings are not an issue here, Mr. Brown.

Now, you said earlier that you--

that you were at the end of your rope, yes?

-Yeah.

No kidding, doc.

I mean, my boat's been rocked one too many times.

That's why I'm hoping that you could help me sort through

this thing.

-Yes, I can see why.

The strain of adjusting to all these different planets.

-Yeah, but it's the same planet every time, just

different dimensions.

-Why don't you start at the beginning?

So what precipitated this crisis?

-Uh, OK.

I guess it all started about-- about a couple of weeks ago.

[vortex roaring]

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

I think so.

PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Incoming!

[both screaming]

[professor groans]

[vortex closes]

-All right, that does it.

From now on, Mr. Brown, you go into the vortex before me.

-What, and have you land and crush me?

-Aah!

-Forget that.

[professor grunting]

-Well, at least it looks peaceful enough.

-Wait a minute.

This is Bernie Massey's old Pontiac.

He got rear-ended just before we left.

And that's Mrs. Randall's place.

-What are you saying?

-Your house, yes?

May I remind you that we've all been fooled before.

-Why are you always so negative?

-Hope for everything, Miss Welles, expect nothing.

-So what do you think, Q-Ball?

-I think we're about to find out.

Cross your fingers.

-It squeaked.

-Thank you!

-Mom.

-Oh my god.

I knew you'd lide on a weekend.

[sobbing]

[all laughing]

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): And that was it.

After 18 months of wandering, we were finally home.

QUINN NARRATING: What if you could

travel to parallel worlds--

the same year, the same earth, only different dimensions?

A world where the Russians ruled America, or where your

dreams of being superstar came true, or where San Francisco

was a maximum security prison?

My friends and I found the gateway.

Now, the problem is finding a way back home.

[theme music]

[theme music]

[theme music]

QUINN (OFFSCREEN): Here we go.

Yes.

-Mrs. Mallory.

-Thank you.

-Quinn.

-Professor, thank you.

-All right!

-My dear Rembrandt.

And wonderful Wade.

WADE (OFFSCREEN): [laughs]

I know.

Isn't it unbelievable?

Listen, I'm going to tell you the whole story when I get

home, I promise.

I know.

I love you too.

Give me back to Mom and Dad, OK?

-Oh!

Mom, Mom, Mom, you should have seen this guy.

In one world, he introduced a strain of antibiotics and

single-handedly stopped the plague.

-What about that world where he brought down the asteroid

with the A-bomb?

-Oh!

-Huh?

-The atom bomb?

-All I did was jury-rig the detonator.

The fissionable material was already there.

-(LAUGHING) Oh my, that's remarkable.

-Nothing really.

-How'd they take it?

-Well, Everybody was basically in a state of shock.

My sister just screamed "oh my god" for 10 minutes.

[laughter]

-So, guys, how about a toast, huh?

-Professor go ahead.

-No, no.

You're the man of the house.

-Well, seems to me there's only one thing to say.

To friendship.

-To friendship.

-And to home.

-And to home.

[wade laughing]

-What are you doing down here, Professor?

-Just thinking.

-So, this is where it all started, huh?

The real basement.

Always imagined it to be much bigger.

-What are you thinking about, Professor?

-You know, we have 95% of what may be the greatest invention

that the world has ever seen.

What we lack is the ability to control the beast and how we

use it safely.

-Oh, you guys will get it.

-Well, you're not going to like this.

Until we do get that 5%, I suggest we keep quiet about

our experiences.

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): You're kidding me, right?

I mean, you realize how this could boost my career?

-Now is not the time to talk about free

publicity, Mr. Brown.

-It's always time to talk about

free publicity, Professor.

What's wrong with you?

-Well, what am I supposed to tell people?

Nobody's seen me for 18 months.

-We'll just swear our families to secrecy.

That's all.

Wade will tell people we were backpacking

through Europe or something.

-Look, the Professor can say that he was on sabbatical, and

you two have got your bases covered.

But who's going to believe that I've been touring in

obscurity the last year and a half?

-That shouldn't be too difficult, given the state of

your career when we left.

-Just stick to your stories and we'll be fine, as long as

the people close to us know the truth and know how

important it is to keep this whole thing secret.

-So we're just talking like a month or so, right?

-As soon as Quinn and I are ready, we're going to have the

biggest press conference the world's ever seen.

-Yeah.

Now you're talking my language.

See you later, big guy.

-Get some rest, Mr. Mallory.

We start work on Monday.

-All the things we've done, the things we've seen.

It's all because of you.

Thank you.

-I prayed every day, Quinn.

I never gave up hope.

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): I guess randomly traveling through an

inter-dimensional vortex has a way of making you appreciate

what's important in life.

For the Professor, it was returning to the hallowed

halls of the university where he taught quantum physics, the

place where he first met Quinn.

-Ms. Vonbaeck!

-Professor Arturo?

-Ms. Vonbaeck, how very good to see you again.

-You too, Professor.

-Are you all right?

-I'm just surprised to see you here, that's all.

-[laughs]

Yes.

Yes, well, life is full of surprises, isn't it?

Anyway, I'm back, eager and ready to resume my course load

well, provided, of course, the dean hasn't replaced me.

-Why would he have done that?

-[laughs]

Why, indeed?

Excellent, excellent, excellent.

Ah, my dear Ms. Vonbaeck, I've been away for a

long time, I know.

But bear with me, but all shall be

revealed in due course.

Now you must excuse me.

-There he is.

-Thanks.

Artie.

[laughs]

I know you recognize me.

It's the Crying Man.

-I used to know a Crying Man.

He died.

-Oh come on, Artie.

Don't be like that.

Look, I know you're angry.

I missed some days, but I have a perfectly good

explanation for that.

-Yeah?

Like what?

-I've been touring Asia.

-What are we talking here?

Outer Mongolia?

Lot of good R&B clubs there, are there?

Besides, if you've been touring, where's my 10%?

-8%.

-Ah!

Keep it down, will you?

My other clients hear about that missing 2%, they're all

going to want it.

-I've got a secret, Artie.

How's your pacemaker?

-Ticking away.

Why?

-I'm sitting on something.

Once it goes public, it's going to be the biggest thing

to happen to popular music in this century--

hell, maybe since the beginning of time.

Let me tell you all about it.

But you've got to swear not to tell a soul.

[phone ringing]

-Hello?

-Quick.

Turn on your TV.

Channel 11.

-All right.

Hold on.

-Using calculations based on my extension of the

Eisenstein-Rosen-Podolsky Bridge

Theory, I'm able to travel--

I, uh, prefer to use the word slide--

between different earths in alternate parallel universes.

-His theory?

He's taking credit for what you did.

TV HOST (OFFSCREEN): --pretty high-caliber scientists out

there calling you a crackpot.

-Well, skepticism is natural in the face of such a

remarkable achievement.

But take a look at this remarkable arrowhead.

It's a 500-year-old artifact--

-He's blowing our entire cover.

- --of space-age titanium alloy.

It comes from an earth where America was never colonized by

the Europeans.

-I don't believe this.

- --that are being tested and examined at this moment, which

will prove conclusively that their origin is from a world

whose geology is substantially different to our own.

-You've got to call in, Quinn.

You can't let him get away with this.

TV HOST (OFFSCREEN): We'll be back to take your calls in

just a moment.

WADE (OFFSCREEN): Quinn?

TV HOST (OFFSCREEN): Our guest today is

Professor Maximilian Arturo--

WADE (OFFSCREEN): Quinn?

TV HOST (OFFSCREEN): --who some people--

WADE (OFFSCREEN): Hello?

TV HOST (OFFSCREEN): --are calling the father of

inter-dimensional travel.

We'll be right back.

-What am I supposed to do?

Call him a liar in front of the entire world?

-Why not?

You deserve credit for what you did.

-She's right, Q-Ball.

-I don't care about the credit.

We promised each other to keep this whole thing quiet.

-Well, I don't agree with the way he did it, but I got to

tell you, it certainly did put a jolt back into the Crying

Man's career.

My agent's fielding offers now from three

major record labels.

-Your agent?

-Well, once the secret is out, it's out, Q-Ball.

Come on, man.

It's not like I'm the only one.

-"Newsweek" is sort of serializing my diary.

What was I supposed to do, Quinn?

It's over a million dollars.

Look, the secret's out.

That's why you've got to get out there and tell the world

what really happened.

-Where are you going?

-I'm calling the Professor.

This is out of control.

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN): Hello?

-Yeah, it's Quinn Mallory.

Let me talk to Professor Arturo.

-I'm sorry, Mr. Mallory.

Professor Arturo's not in the office.

-Thank you.

-Well, maybe if we go to the press on Quinn's behalf, the

Professor will back down.

-Arturo's acting like we should be grateful he

mentioned the rest of us at all.

-Guys.

We're not home.

-What?

-Look at the headline.

-Superbowl XIX.

So what?

-Niners clock Jets in Super Bowl XIX.

Don't you get it?

On our world, the Niners played the Dolphins.

-I don't really follow football.

-Trust me, guys.

Some things I know like the back of my hand.

This isn't our earth.

-I mean, what were we supposed to say?

Jets, Dolphins-- it was over 10 years ago.

DR. WHELAN (OFFSCREEN): Did you voice your suspicion?

-Damn right I did.

We both did.

But he just keep going on and on--

it's not our world, it's not our world.

All because of that one little thing.

-Mom?

[cuckoo clock ringing]

-Mom?

[glass shatters]

-Ma, is that you?

Oh!

[suspenseful music]

-Hey!

QUINN (OFFSCREEN): Get back here!

[tires screeching]

-Hello.

-Hi.

These have to be on a plane by 3:00 or we'll

miss the weekend read.

Aren't you the messenger?

-Sorry.

-No, I'm sorry.

I just assumed.

-Is Wade around?

-Uh, Ms. Welles is on a conference call.

-Tell her Quinn Mallory's here and it's important.

-Oh my god.

Hold on.

-Look, I am not going to sell out the integrity of my story

just because some Hollywood starlet might be interested in

optioning it.

David, just make the call, OK?

And don't forget, we've got that conference call with

Random House at 3:00.

OK, thanks.

All these negotiations and everything.

It's a madhouse.

What's up?

-The timer's been stolen.

-What?

-The police came over this morning dusting for

fingerprints, on top of which I've got

reporters calling all day.

The phone hasn't stopped ringing.

-Well, did you make a statement?

-No.

-Quinn, if you don't come forward, the Professor's going

to think he can get away with this.

-Let him.

Look at this-- my ninth grade homeroom.

-Really?

Which one's you?

-Forget that.

This kid-- this kid right here, Tom Canfield.

He wore braces in our world, Wade.

We used to call him "railroad tracks." Don't you see?

First Superbowl XIX, and now this?

-Maybe you're just remembering it wrong.

Look, it just-- it doesn't make any sense, Quinn.

My friends, my family--

everything's in place here.

It just can't be anywhere else but our earth.

-It can if our doubles slid from here.

-This is a virtually identical world, Wade.

Our doubles could've slid when we did, 18 months ago.

-Oh.

OK.

So now we've slid in and taken their place.

And everything is exactly the same, except for a football

game and some kid that you think you

remember wearing braces?

[scoffs]

Quinn, do you hear yourself?

God, I'm really starting to worry about you.

-You don't hear a word I'm saying, do you?

-Yes, I do.

You're not listening to me.

[phone rings]

-We're home, Quinn.

It's over.

-Excuse me.

Ms. Welles, your attorney's office, line two.

-We never checked the timer.

The window could've already come and gone.

If I can't convince you and find the timer, we're going to

spend the rest of our lives here.

-He says it's important.

-Look, let me just get this, OK?

Just wait, please.

Quinn!

PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): I realize that this theory is

difficult for the layman to grasp.

Seen from our normal perspective, the universe

appears to be singular.

But when seen from the perspective of the

Einstein-Rosen-Podolski bridge--

Ms. Vonbaeck--

it is suddenly possible to see that universes can be layered,

one on top of another.

Now, my invention enables explorers to slide through

these layers, traveling from universe to universe, breaking

through the boundaries that separate one

dimension from another.

The tricky part, of course, is to control

where you slide, and--

um, and, and--

and, and when to return.

And on that note, I think we'll just take a short

intermission.

-I need to talk to you.

-How the devil did you get in here without a press pass?

-You're not that important yet, Professor.

I told them I was on the school paper.

-[laughs]

So, what are your intentions, my boy, hmm?

Discredit me and hog all the limelight for yourself?

-Take all the credit you want, Professor.

It doesn't change the fact that we're not home.

-What?

-You heard me.

It's close, almost a carbon copy, but it's not our earth.

Look.

I dug through my old baseball card

collection and found this.

There's no asterisk next to Roger Maris's home run record.

-So?

-Listen to me.

-The Niners beat the Dolphins in Super Bowl XIX.

-Mr. Mallory, I have no idea what this

conversation is going.

You are obviously having difficulty adjusting to the

fact that you're finally home.

But right now, I'm in the middle of a press conference.

Excuse me.

(TO AUDIENCE) Ladies and gentlemen, if I can focus your

attention once again on the model, you

will see that this--

[soul music playing]

[soul music playing]

-Yeah, maybe we need to punch that lead track up.

I need to hit a vibrato in that section where I'm trying

to hold back the tears.

[tape rewinding]

-Remy, there's a woman here to see you.

-No groupies here, Artie.

I'm trying to concentrate.

Take five, guys.

It's OK.

-I hope I'm not disturbing you.

-No, no, not at all.

Well actually, it's costing us about a grand and a

half an hour here.

What's up?

-Did Quinn call you?

-Yeah, last night.

Police have any idea who broke into his house?

-No.

I'm really worried about him, Rembrandt.

I think he's really going off the deep end.

-He's still saying we're not home, huh?

-Yeah.

I don't know what to do.

He's in this incredible state of denial.

-This is bad.

I love the guy, Wade.

You know that.

I mean, everything that's good, everything that's

happening for us, I owe it to him.

-Well, it might help if you'd talk to him about it.

-Remy, this is coming out of my pocket.

-Just one second.

Look, is he coming to the museum opening tomorrow?

-I don't think so.

-OK, I'll call him, see if I can get him down there,

straighten out this whole home thing, huh?

-OK.

Oh, thank you.

-Mm-hmm.

-Thanks.

-Best friend was going over the edge.

The rest of the world was opening up to us, giving up

all of the treasures.

-And how did you feel about that?

-I really felt bad for the guy.

I mean, why couldn't he just lean back and enjoy the ride

like the rest of us?

[press clamoring]

-You believe this?

-Over here, Mr. Brown.

-Can you tell us what it felt like to--

-There you are.

Ah, splendid.

-These flashbulbs are starting to give me a headache.

-Oh, all right.

Ladies and gentlemen, no more photos, please.

Well, quite a gala, isn't it?

Is Mr. Mallory going to come?

-I don't think he's going to make it, Professor.

-Oh, dear.

What a shame.

There are so few days like this in one's life, and plenty

of glory to go around.

-What did you expect him to do, Professor?

You're taking credit for his discovery.

-Is that what he told you?

Ms. Welles, I laid the theoretical

groundwork for sliding.

Mr. Mallory made certain emendations, it's true, but

all of which I would have done by myself.

-Maximilian, they're about to start the unveiling.

-Right.

Well, more of this anon.

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN): And now, ladies and gentlemen, we

proudly present, to father of inter-dimensional travel,

Maximilian Arturo.

[applause]

-Thank you all.

-I don't believe this.

-Who does that evil maniac think he's fooling?

We've got to stop this.

I've got people from "Rolling Stone" magazine here.

-Rembrandt, look.

-Arturo must have stolen it.

-I'm going to call Quinn.

Yeah, I know.

I wanted to kill him.

I can't believe he could do that to you.

Quinn--

Quinn, listen to me.

You can't just break in and steal a museum exhibit.

There's security all over the place.

Well, why don't you let me help you find a lawyer?

Quinn, we are not going through this again.

We're home.

OK, look, I'm just telling you where the timer is, OK?

Call me later.

Oh my god.

The Golden Gate Bridge--

it's blue.

-I must've heard him say the Azure Gate Bridge a dozen

times over the radio.

It just never registered.

-Sometimes we don't see what's right in front of us.

It's going to be OK.

-How?

-We're going to get the timer, we're going to slide out of

here, and we're going to get home.

I promise.

-My friends, my family, my career--

(SHOUTING) I'm nothing!

[drawer slamming]

-Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on, come on, come on.

[wade sobbing]

-Shh.

It's going to be OK.

Just remember, our real families are

still looking for us.

We've got to be strong, Wade, for their sake

as well as our own.

-I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

I thought you were losing it.

-Don't worry about it.

Come on.

We've got work to do.

Come on.

-A picture postcard of the Azure Gate Bridge, available

from every tourist shop.

-You've known all along.

-What?

-You have, haven't you?

-Almost from the time we arrived.

-I don't believe you.

How could you put us through all that?

-Why?

Because he wants to be famous.

That's why.

-Look, will you two grow up?

This is as good as it gets.

You, Ms. Welles, were a shop assistant.

You're about to become rich and famous as a result of

publishing your journal, on every page of which you lament

the absence of your family.

Well here, you have a family.

And you, Mr. Mallory.

Think of your mother.

Do you want to break her heart again?

-She's not my mother.

-In some small measure, perhaps not.

But she's as close to the real thing as you're

ever going to get.

-Professor, we've been through a lot.

We've always stuck together.

You want to live a lie, I can't stop you.

I want the timer back.

-I'm afraid that's not possible.

It's on loan to the science museum.

-It wasn't yours to loan.

You stole it.

-Whether you slide with us or not, I'm getting the timer,

and the rest of us are sliding out of here, regardless.

-You must do what you must do, Mr. Mallory.

But then so will I.

But then so will I.

-I don't understand why he's acting like this.

Are we crazy?

How can we spend so much time with somebody and not realize

what a creep he is?

-He's scared, Wade.

He's lost hope that we're ever going to get home, so he's

settling for a close copy of his old reality.

-Yeah, well what if he's right?

What if we never do get home?

-Do you want to stay too?

-No.

-Because I can't promise anything, Wade.

I'm not sure I can actually ever get us home.

-We'll make it.

I know we will.

Come on.

We're going to have our hands full with Rembrandt, too.

-Not while all of this is going on.

I've got a tiger by the tail.

The reissue of "Cry Like a Man" sells more in one weekend

than the original recording does in 16 years.

Now, you've got to keep a perspective on

a thing like that.

I mean, my agent books me on "MTV Unplugged," just like

Tony Bennett.

-"MTV Unplugged was quite an honor.

-You'd think so, right?

-Mm-hmm.

-The only thing is that the deal was for me and my

ex-backup singers.

And we had split on account of ego problems.

I've got to cry me a river of tears tonight, sweetheart.

And make sure that's a waterproof base.

-Remy, two of The Tops want a word with you.

-Man, I knew it.

Here it comes.

-Just hear them out.

I'm trying to keep this whole thing together.

-I never should have let you talk me into this, Artie.

[knocking]

-Fellas.

-Rembrandt, we've been thinking.

Now, if you're going to kick off this gig with "Cry Like a

Man," some changes got to take place.

-Yeah.

Changes.

-Now, you plan on crying like always?

-Of course.

The fans would ride if I skimped on the tears.

-Well, if you're going to cry, we're crying too.

-That's right.

Why should you be the only one weeping?

We get just as sad as you.

-Rembrandt, somebody named Quinn Mallory on the phone.

Says it's important.

-Uh, look, just take a message and tell him I'll call him

right back.

Listen to me.

I'm the Crying Man.

You are the backup singers.

Now, that's just the natural order of things.

If we all start crying, it's just going

to confuse the audience.

-We cry, or nobody cries.

-South wing clear.

-Careful.

It's wired.

-30 seconds?

-What?

-Got no time for caution, Wade.

[alarm blaring]

-Come on.

-We can't slide without the others.

-Well, what do we do?

We'll be stuck here.

It reset.

How can that happen?

-It's not our timer.

It's a replica.

-Man, that really woke me up.

They were willing to miss the slide

for me and the Professor.

-Clearly these people care a great deal about you.

-Yeah.

It made me take stock of things, that's for sure--

I mean, about who my real friends are.

Friendship's about the only thing you can count on in this

crazy world.

[intercom buzzer]

MS. JENNINGS (OFFSCREEN): Excuse me.

Sorry to interrupt your session, Doctor.

But I'm wondering if you need anything before I go?

Just a--

just a moment, Ms. Jennings.

-Oh, look at the time.

I'm supposed to meet my friends downstairs at 6:30.

We've got to slide out of here.

-No, I don't think you should stop now.

You're really making such progress.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I do feel a little bit better.

-In fact, I'll tell Ms. Jennings to cancel my last

appointment, OK?

Call Gate Haven Hospital.

Have them send a stretcher and a straitjacket.

This is the most extraordinary case of florid off-the-wall

dementia I've ever experienced.

Hurry up.

I don't know how long I can hold him.

OK.

Now, where were we?

-Uh, let's see.

Quinn and Wade spent the night in jail.

And the next morning, I bailed them out.

-So after The Tops pulled out, it hit me with an injunction.

I got a hold of some of the sheet music, and on this

world, those leeches actually do share credit

on some of my songs.

-Wait a minute.

You know?

-Yeah.

It's when I realized that Q-Ball was right all along.

I was on such a rocket ship to success, man, I didn't want to

hear the truth.

-Yeah.

I know the feeling.

-I just want to know what I'm sorry.

-We're together now.

That's what's important.

-Where are we going?

-If we have any hope of getting out of here, we have

got to get the timer back.

-Looks like no one's home.

Let's go.

Are you sure he has it here?

-I know the Professor, Rembrandt.

He's not going to leave a thing like that

in a science lab.

-Science journals, research magazines--

-I didn't know the Professor wore bifocals.

-Come on, people.

We're not taking inventory here.

-Shh.

Shh.

[muffled yelling]

-You hear something?

[muffled yelling]

-You hear that?

-It's coming from the basement.

-Mice?

-Pretty big mice.

-Mr. Mallory!

Is that you?

-Professor!

PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Down here!

-Here, here.

PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Rembrandt!

Quinn!

-Professor, what are you doing?

Having a tea party.

What does it look like I'm doing?

My insane double and his devious assistant have had me

chained down here for-- since Monday week!

-Of course.

-Look, there's a hammer and chisel over there.

Get me out of this.

Quick.

-Look, I thought our doubles had gone off sliding.

-Yes.

Well, the Arturo in this world decided--

very smartly, as it turns out--

that his chances of returning were minimal, so

he chickened out.

At the last minute, he didn't slide.

He's been on sabbatical in Grass Valley, trying to

reconstruct sliding so he could get the credit.

-And of course, when you showed up, suddenly there were

two of you.

-Yes.

His assistant phoned him, and they decided

I had to be a slider.

I was drugged, my personal belongings ransacked.

I was thrown into the back of a black van.

And the next thing I knew, I woke up here.

-The same black van that was outside my house when the

timer was stolen.

-How are you coming with that chain?

-Ow!

-Sorry.

-Now I know exactly how the Israelites felt when Moses

delivered them from the pharaoh.

That scoundrel!

That intellectually impoverished nave wanted me to

win his Nobel for him!

As you can see, I told him nothing.

-All right.

Come on, guys.

Let's get out of here.

-Yeah.

Professor, where's the timer?

-Oh, I think he hid it over here.

Here.

He thought I was asleep.

-Looking for this?

And you really think that you could pull off

this kind of feat?

-You scoundrel.

-This man is a thief, a kidnapper, and a liar.

Pay no attention to anything he says.

-Uh oh.

-Who's who, Q-Ball?

-Can't you see that aside from outward appearances, this

charlatan is nothing like me?

He's a self-aggrandizing malcontented egomaniac who

thinks that the sun rises and sets for him!

-He sounds like Arturo.

-Then how the hell was I the man chained up?

-Now listen to me.

This is crucial.

I managed to escape earlier today, and in the process,

chained down the Arturo of this world, whom you,

unfortunately, have mistaken for me.

Think.

Don't you find it odd that he knew exactly where to

look for the timer?

-Because I was sitting over there when you hid it here!

-The world where I built the atom bomb, the world where I

met my late wife--

now, who else would know that but me?

-Anyone who had read Ms. Welles's serialized diary, you

blistering idiot!

-[sighs]

It is a disgrace, sir, to think that we share a common

genetic structure.

-Scoundrel.

That's for chaining me up in this hellhole for

the past two weeks.

-17 minutes til we slide.

-You better be the right one, man.

-Of course I'm the right one, you blistering idiot!

-I don't understand.

You're my son and you're not my son?

-Remember how I explained doubles?

You're exactly like my mom, too.

Your son's still out there.

And he's as determined as I am to get home.

-But why do you have to leave now?

Can't you stay until my Quinn comes home?

-I don't have a choice.

I'm sorry.

PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Mallory, Ms.

Welles, time to go.

-Take care, sweetie.

-You too, dad.

-You gonna be OK, sweetheart?

[vortex opens]

-Wait!

-Oh, man.

Not again!

-You're making a terrible mistake!

OTHER PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Stop him!

Don't let him slide!

-If one's the impostor, why does he want to slide with us?

-Because without the timer, he can't get a Nobel Prize.

He's gonna try for one in our world!

-What do we do, Q-Ball?

-Take them both.

Sort it out after we slide.

-Like hell we will.

Go!

Go!

Run!

OTHER PROFESSOR (OFFSCREEN): Impostor!

[professors struggling]

-Scoundrel!

-Nave!

-Professor, we're going to miss the window!

-Coming, my boy!

-Confound it.

[vortex closes]

[professor grunting]

-Oh my god.

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): So that's the whole story, Doc,

soup to nuts.

Fame and fortune snatched from our clutches, condemned to

wander the inter-dimensional vortex like nomads.

Not to mention more ugly memories of mutinous Tops, on

top which, we've got enough an Arturo and we don't even know

which one he is.

-Hi.

-Hi.

We need to see Rembrandt Brown.

-He's in a session with the doctor.

-You don't understand.

This is an emergency.

-Well, I'm sorry.

You can't interrupt the session.

-I don't have time to argue with you.

-Hey!

You can't go in there!

-Rembrandt!

Rembrandt!

Rembrandt!

-We're his family.

-Excuse me.

You can't just barge in.

We're in the middle of a session.

-Sorry to interrupt, Doctor.

Rembrandt, we're going to miss the slide.

-Apologies, guys.

I kind of lost track of time.

Always looking after me, huh, Q-Ball?

-That's what it's all about.

DR. WHELAN (OFFSCREEN): Q-Ball.

-Three, two, one.

[vortex opens]

-Sorry about all this, Doc.

Doc?

-Rembrandt, come on!

[vortex closes]

-It was the most beautiful blue, like a robin's egg, a

sky on a crystalline summer's morning, a pathway to other

worlds, you see, yes.

He called it sliding, a name charming in its simplicity,

but wholly inadequate to describe the wonder of it all.

Well, you believe me, Miss Jennings, don't you?

You all believe me.

Every word I'm saying is the truth.

I swear.

Could you--

could you just help me here?

I'm feeling a little confined.

[theme music]