All language subtitles for Allie & Me

(cheerful upbeat music)

- I guess they came in through the screen

and somehow the alarm didn't work and

um, I don't know, they
told me, but I don't know.

- There we go.

(door squeaks)

- Somebody very strong next
to her was leading her.

Something tells me that
Allie was not the ringleader

of something like that.

I just, I just don't,

I think that someone must
have put her up to it.

I don't think she thinks that way.

Although--

- To be honest with you, I wasn't shocked.

- No, I wasn't shocked either, I mean--

- Michelle was an accident
waiting to happen.

She's just so full of anger and angst.

- I found out about these events.

I was vacationing in Acapulco
at Las Brisas with my friend

and um, I got this hysterical call

and I answered the phone and uh,

and they told me that my son, my sweet boy

had been accosted and tied
up and hit on the head

and I was hysterical,
I truly was hysterical.

I mean, I came back immediately.

I even took economy to get back here.

(upbeat cheerful music)

- [Michelle] What doesn't
kill you makes you stronger.

That is so true.

It's always those lowest moments,

those worst experiences that
you look back and you say,

"Yeah, if that hadn't happened,
where would I be now?"

(cheerful upbeat music)

- [Detective] Diamond
necklace, gold watch,

um, a hairdryer, a cosmetics,
I think, Revlon nail polish,

um, some perfume--

- [Michelle] My name is
Michelle Halliburton,

ex Malibu housewife, cat burglar,

kidnapper and about to be felon,

convicted of robbery.

Also, kidnapping, false imprisonment,

nine counts of burglary,
possession of stolen property.

- Gold bracelet, emerald
ring and bracelet and um--

- [Michelle] This is
Detective Frank Richards

and that is Detective Simon Burke.

Kinda cute, isn't he?

Don't worry, I've had it with men.

- [Burke] Diamond brooch, cosmetics, um--

- Diamond bracelet.

- [Burke] Diamond
bracelet, diamond bracelet.

- All right, Michelle,

according to this financial statement,

got your Jag, husband's got a Mercedes,

you've got a home here in Malibu.

What, you have all this money,

why are you causing these burglaries?

Why are you?

- Revenge.

- [Richards] You've been saying that,

revenge, revenge, revenge from what?

- It's actually very
metaphorical and symbolic

of who she is about her
abandonment issues and,

and her, um, almost like

the kidnapping and the torturing
was like a part of herself.

Do you follow what I'm saying?

Don't you agree with that?

- Well it's a very important
point that it's symbolic.

It's symbolic, I think of,
because I know her pretty well.

I was married to her for four years

and I know her intimately and uh,

I think it's symbolic of

a very early narcissistic
injury that she had

probably in the first, oh--

- They say these things
happen in the first,

anywhere, like first six months of--

- Yeah, the first months of her life.

Probably what happened, I mean, uh,

I never met her mother, but
she talked about her mother--

- Oh, I heard terrible, terrible stories--

- Yeah, and I think
that her mother was also

very narcissistic and I think

probably abandoned her at some point.

- [Detective] All right Allie,
we went over with Michelle

the string of robberies that
you two were involved with.

Now Detective Burke here
is gonna run them by you.

See if this makes sense to you.

Go ahead, first one there.

- Okay Allie, uh, Carol Schweiker,

um, you two broke into her house,

took cosmetics and jewelry.

Anna Stewart, same.

Nicole Weizmann, uh her gold bracelet,

her emerald ring and some
things from her bathroom.

Rose Paledgy, Grace Lumpock
and finally, Camille Alexander.

- You realize what happened,
what was done here, right?

Why did you steal?

- Allie, do you know why you're here?

Do know that you're in a lot of trouble?

- I'm slow, I'm not stupid.

- [Burke] I know, Allie.

- [Christine] Allie.

- This is so beautiful, honey.

- Can I have you for a minute, honey?

(woman chatting quietly)

- Honey, I need you to
get Karen a smock, okay?

- [Allie] Okay.

- No no no, Allie, Allie, that's okay,

let go for a minute sweetheart.

Take this, okay?

To the back room and then

when you come back from the
back room, bring a smock.

Thank you.

Poppy.

- [Michelle] This is
my best and only friend

and partner in crime, Allie.

Allie works at Brown's
Salon which is owned

and operated by Christine Brown.

(whispering quietly)

- (whispering) You know that.

You have to be a very
gentle, like you are, okay?

Just be like you are,
very gentle, very easy.

- Okay Christine.
- Thank you.

- Uh, many of my patrons
are very wealthy people

so they're involved
with a lot of charities

and I went with one of
my friends one weekend

to this community center

where they had developmentally
impaired people present

and that's where I met Allie.

And it was, you know, like when you meet,

it's like that man, woman
thing, that connection

or that woman, woman thing
and I just adored her

and it was an immediate lock-in.

And she wanted to work
and she was so eager

and so I said, "Well come to the salon."

And she did and she was great.

- Do you like it?

- [Woman] No.

(laughing)

- She used to fold the towels

and she used to wipe the lady's hair

and uh, she said she
had always had a dream

about being a manicurist
and I wanted to help her

make those dreams come true.

So, that's how it started and I must say,

it progressed really
very well for a while.

- 45.

- No you're not, like maybe you're 20.

You look beautiful.

- Actually have it chopped to the ears.

- No I don't think so, I don't
think that's gonna help you.

- It's a sign of maturity.

- No.

- Oh thank you, you are the,

you are terrific, it's there, thank you.

- [Man] Leave it, trust me.

- [Michelle] Everyone
goes to Brown's salon.

Everyone with too much money

and nothing better to do that is.

They sit around and gossip and hang out

and they talk about which vacation spot

they'll be going to that month.

All Allie has to do is listen.

- Well yeah, but just not the full head

because I have to get to the airport.

- That's, where are you going?

- [Woman] I'm going up to
the new house in Park City.

- [Stylist] Ah, fabulous,
isn't that great.

- Yeah, it's great, it's like the country.

It's two hours, door to door.

- Is that all?

- I was not aware that
Allie was using Christine.

I was not aware of any of this.

I just thought she was such
a simple minded creature,

I didn't think she was
capable of anything like this.

- [Michelle] So, Allie gets the addresses

and Christine, being the smart
business woman that she is,

always includes everyone's birthday.

Then she calls, gives them to me

so she won't make a mistake or forget

and the rest is easy.

- Hello, this is Allie.

The appointment for 5:30.

The address is 225 and an eighth.

- [Michelle] An eighth?

There's no eighth in any
mansion I've ever seen, Allie.

Read it again.

- [Allie] 225 and a half.

- Great.

Okay, Allie, I'm gonna be there
to pick you up in a minute,

but just--
(Allie talking quietly)

Don't hang up, Allie.

Allie, don't hang up.

(phone clatters)

- (laughing) Did you see
the look on his face?

I can't, I cannot, no. (laughing)

Oh you always do that to me.

Would you hold on just a minute.

Can I help you, sir?
- Yeah.

- [Christine] Oh my goodness,
is this is a real one?

- Uh, yes ma'am.

- [Christine] Are you real?

- Yes ma'am.

- This is, I've gotta,
I've gotta policeman here.

I can't.

Yeah, no I can't.

Goodbye.

Hello, I'm sorry.

- I'm Lieutenant
Richards, Detective Burke.

- [Christine] Hello.

- Hi.
- Detective Burke,

how are you?
- And your name is?

- Christine--
- Christine.

Yeah, there's been some uh,
robberies in your neighborhood

and some of the patrons that come in here

are some of the people
who have been victimized

by these robberies.

- Right.
- So we wanna come in here,

we wanna do a little
question, standard procedures,

maybe talk to some of your personnel,

get some background--
- Sh sh sh,

could you just hold your voice down.

People spend a lot of money here.

They come here once, maybe twice,

maybe three times a week to get rest,

relaxation away from home.

I have to provide them that.

I can't allow anybody to come
in and ask them questions.

You can ask me all the questions you want.

- Well we either question 'em here

or we take 'em down to the police station.

You want me to do that?

- Gentlemen, this is my business.

I started this before it
was a hole in the wall.

You just can't come in
here with a badge and--

- [Burke] You wanna see,

you wanna see 'em down at the station?

- I'm gonna, I'm gonna--
- You own this place?

- [Christine] I'm not
gonna do this anymore now.

I want you outta here.
- Well what are you gonna do--

- [Christine] I want you out.
- We're investigating--

- [Christine] I want you outta here.

(arguing over each other)

- We're fine, we're fine.

- [Christine] Listen, listen
to the ruckus you're making.

- And that's the last thing we wanna do.

- We coulda just walked in here

and it would have been quietly
and gotten out of here.

- Would it be possible for us to speak

to a few of your people,
separate from everyone else?

We won't cause a stink--

- You mean the staff?
- Yes, please.

- A,

L,
- L.

- L,
- L.

- I,
- I.

- E.
- E, Allie.

And Allie, what's your last name please?

- D,

- [Burke] D.

- A,
- A.

- [Allie] D,

- D.

- [Allie] A,

- A.

- [Allie] D,

- D.

- [Allie] A.

- A.

- [Allie] D.

- D.

Dadadad.

- Dadadad.

Allie Dadadad.

- Dadadad.

- [Allie] Greek.

- Yes, may I call you Allie?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Uh, have you heard anything
about any break-ins

in this part of town around the salon?

- No.

- [Burke] No, so none of
your customers or coworkers,

anyone has said anything about them?

- That would be no.

- No?
- No.

- Can you absolutely say
that no one like that--

- Absolutely no.

May I?

- [Burke] Please.

- My boss loves something

and I'd just like to show it to you.

It's a way to release tension.

It's something I practiced in school.

You see how I'm turning your wrist?

- [Burke] Yes, I do.

- And a roll and if you
get into a roll like this,

plus, let me show you this.

Taking out the tension,
take out the tension.

Is that hurting you?

- Yeah well just a little bit--

- I'm sorry, it shouldn't hurt you.

(jazzy music)

(engine humming)
(jazzy music)

But the other thing is,
can you relax your head?

You're a little tense.

Maybe your job and the questions,

just relax it, let it go.

- Yeah, I really do need
to ask you a few questions,

if you don't mind, I mean--

- Simon you're not relaxing.

Questions will get answers
better if you relax.

- Hey, what the hell's going on here?

Simon, what the hell are you doing?

- [Burke] Just actually
asking some questions.

- What do you think this is, a game,

party's here for Christ sakes?

Come on, get outside and
do some work out there

for Christ sakes.

You're starting to lose
it, Simon, you know that?

Just get outside, will you?

You're getting on my
nerves for Christ sakes.

- Excuse me, sir?

I don't--
- You're getting soft!

- I don't think you should yell at him--

- Get over there.

We got an investigation going on here now.

Just sit down there,
will you please, Allie?

Whatever the heck your name is?

- [Allie] Don't be so grumpy.

- You know, I'm not, you know what?

Talking to you is like
talking into a tunnel.

Now I'm starting to hear my own echo.

- I wish you would just
have a better attitude.

You got love troubles?

- I'm trying to, I don't
have love troubles.

I'm just trying to get the answers

to a couple of questions here, now if we--

- Why don't you let me give
you a little finger massage.

You're too tense.

(Burke sighs)

- [Michelle] You look a little upset.

- What?

I'm sorry.

- [Michelle] You look a little upset.

- [Burke] Long day.

- It's a beautiful day, though.

- Yeah, just kind of
killing time, are you?

- Well I'm picking someone up.

- Oh.

I'm a cop and you're in a no parking zone.

- Oh, I'm--

- Simon Burke.

- [Michelle] Nice to meet you,

I'm just waiting for my
girlfriend here and uh--

- Oh no no no no no,
please, take your time.

- [Michelle] You sure about that?

- Positive, positive.

- [Michelle] Okay, well she
should be out any minute now.

Um, Allie!

(honks horn)
- Allie is your friend?

- [Michelle] Uh, yeah.

- Oh.

- [Michelle] You know Allie?

- [Allie] Wow. (laughs)

Oh hi.
- We're gonna be late, Allie.

- I saw you before.
- Let's go, Allie.

- He's gonna come and have
spaghetti at our house.

- Oh great.

Come on--
- Don't forget,

spaghetti at our house on Tuesday.

- I don't, I don't,
- Bye.

- [Burke] What was your name?

- Spaghetti at our house,
Michelle and Allie.

- Nice meeting you.
- Bye Allie.

- [Allie] You ought to consider Simon.

- [Michelle] Forget Simon.

- [Allie] Why should I forget Simon?

- [Michelle] I will not
be going out with a cop.

I don't care about that.

- [Allie] Well I don't believe that.

- Are you ready?

- [Allie] Yes.

- If the door's open, we
have 30 seconds, okay?

- [Allie] All right, I'll start counting,

I'll start counting.
- Start counting.

Yes, go!

(alarm beeping)
(energetic music)

- I knew that most rich people

don't lock their sliding doors

because either they forget
or their kids need to get in

or they don't trust their servants not to

go and make copies of the keys.

They figure they have an
alarm, so what's the point?

They're also usually busy and preoccupied

and they just use their
birthdays for the code.

This is nice.

Here we go.

Allie, what are you doing in there?

- Nothing.

- [Michelle] Hurry up.

- Okay.

(cheerful music)

- They didn't take the TV.

They didn't take big items.

They didn't take the stocks,
anything like that or art

and I had just come back from Paris

and they took all the cosmetics,

all my cosmetics that I had just bought

and hair, old curling
irons, you know from,

it was very odd.

- Well they had some
things to say about you,

Dustin and Miss Nanski, um--

- [Michelle] I'm sure they have.

- Kleptomaniac, needed
therapy, but refused it.

- Well, I'm not a kleptomaniac.

- [Burke] But uh, unstable and--

- Well I don't find myself to be unstable.

- But why would they say
these things about you?

- Well I thought it was
a good relationship,

but obviously it wasn't.

Think I was a little naive.

(sighs)

I married Dustin Halliburton,
who I thought loved me.

I devoted myself to his every whim.

When he said I looked
fat, I went on a diet.

When he said I was uptight in bed,

I took sexual freedom classes.

In the end, nothing I could
do would ever please him.

(door slams)

(door creaks)

Dustin?

Dustin?

Dustin.

(moaning)
(sexy music)

- Oh hi honey.

Um, boy you're home awful early.

- Oh yeah.

- Weren't you supposed to be having lunch

with what's her name, the--

- I was stood up, yeah.

- Oh uh, Mr. Tanaka called
from the nursery and uh,

he wanted to know if it would be all right

to deliver the Ficus tomorrow.

- Oh.

- Angela um,

she came over um--

- (crying) I've had a really shitty day.

- She's had a really, really bad day.

Um, because uh, she um--

- I um,

I ran over Lily.

- Lily, her dog, she ran over her dog.

Just flat as a pancake and uh,

well he's dead.

- [Michelle] He's dead?

- Yeah.
- He's dead. (crying)

- [Michelle] Oh no.

- You know how close
she was to Willy and uh,

well, we were just uh, we
were talking and um, and uh--

- Uh, Angela Nanski and um,

Michelle is a very close friend of mine.

- Uh, Dustin Halliburton
and Michelle is my wife.

We're actually, we're in the
middle of a divorce right now,

but um, technically, we're still married.

We were married for uh, four years.

- Mm mm.

- We were married for four years,

but I knew her for a
couple years before that.

- Okay, yeah that's right.

- You introduced us, didn't you?

- Yes, I did.

- What year was that?

- Oh boy, what uh,

'88.

- Like seven years ago?
- Seven,

seven and a half years.
- Time flies, woo.

(feet clomping)
(chaotic chattering)

- Michelle, he made me do it, Michelle.

- [Dustin] What do you
mean I made you do it?

- I have no idea.
- What are you talking about?

I didn't make you do anything. Michelle!

She's overreacting.

Michelle.

Hey hey hey hey, come
on, sweetheart, listen.

Listen to me, that was nothing, really.

I don't want you to overreact
to this, I'm serious.

- [Michelle] Oh you're serious.

(chaotic chattering)
(engine hums)

- Angie, shut up!

- [Angela] Why are you yelling at me?

Why are you yelling at me?

- Angie, listen, she's my wife, all right?

I don't want her to get the
wrong impression about this.

(Angela crying)

- [Michelle] Well I
didn't know that things

were about to go from bad to worse.

I called my so called friends.

They all knew about Angela and Dustin

and not one of them
was willing to help me.

It was like it was my fault.

Dustin had been unhappy for a long time.

Angela had been crying every night

for months about it, months.

That bitch, I was so humiliated.

My whole life was
unraveling in front of me.

I panicked, I fumed, I screamed,
but nothing seemed to help.

- She wouldn't go to
therapy, she just wouldn't--

- Wouldn't, wouldn't even touch it.

- Yeah--
- I mean, we'd bring it up,

it was like, you know--
- We'd both been in therapy--

- Out the door--
- How many years?

- (sighs) Let me see, uh, 15?

- 15 years, 15 years.

Oh, she has many more than I do,

but still, it's a really
important thing to do--

- Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

- What?

- Many more? (laughs)

- Well--
- 15, what do you--

- Well that's a long
time to be in therapy.

(unamused laughing)

(playful music)
(muttering)

- [Michelle] As I drove, I thought about

what a farce my life has been so far.

I was so upset I forgot
that I was already on empty

and my warning light wasn't working

on the fuel gauge, as usual.

(dog barking)
(playful music)

In a way, breaking down that night

was the best thing that
ever happened to me

because if I hadn't broken down,

I would have never met Allie.

She was so sweet and caring
and just wanted to help me,

but at the same time,

she knew who she was and what she wanted.

She was entitled in a way
that for everything I had,

I never was.

That's something that never
ceases to amaze me about her.

- Excuse me, are you okay?

- Yeah. (crying)

Yes, I think, no, can I borrow $5.00?

- Lady?

- What?

Okay--
- come on up.

- [Michelle] Oh thank
you, thank you. (crying)

I ran out of gas.

- [Allie] You know, you've got to breath,

try to breath.
- Okay.

(labored breathing)

Okay, thank you.

- You know, you broke your nail.

- [Michelle] I did?

- Yeah.

Wait a second, let me open up, okay?

Breath, keep breathing.

You ran out of gas?

- Yeah.
- It's gonna be okay.

- Okay.
- Come on in.

- [Michelle] Thank you.

- I can't give you $5.00.

- [Michelle] What?

- I can't give you $5.00.

I'm on a tight budget money management.

- But I'm, I'll give it right back to you.

- I can't give it to you.

- What do you mean you
can't give it to me?

- Can I make a suggestion?

- What?
- Breath.

(breathing)

- I just need $5.00!

That's all I need is $5.00,
you don't have $5.00?

- I'll tell you what--
- What?

- I'll walk you to the gas station--

- Great.

- I'll pay the gas man--
- Okay.

- We'll walk back.

- [Michelle] Okay.

- But then, I have to go
with you to get your wallet

to pay me back the $5.00--

- Thank you.

- And you have to drive
me back. (engine humming)

- You wait here.

- [Allie] Okay.

- I will be right back.

- Look, you haven't exactly been there

for me emotionally or physically.

I mean, if you think about--
- I haven't?

- Last Saturday night?

- [Michelle] Yeah?

- Okay, last Saturday night,

what happened last Saturday night?

I wanted to jump all over
you, what did you do?

- Sorry!

- Well now come on, now listen.

It comes down to this,
it's a psychological thing.

I had a narcissistic injury
when I was about four years old.

Okay, I remember this very clearly.

Well the thing is that Angela,

what she brings out in me,
she brings out my inner child.

- Oh really?

- This is so important.

See, you've never really
listened to me about this stuff,

but it's really important.

See, my inner child is
fighting to get out.

And Angela, her inner
child has already come out

so the two of us--
- Perfect!

- No no no, I mean, I'm telling you,

it's all a psychological--

- [Allie] Michelle, do you need my help?

- Yes, please put that in there.

- [Allie] Okay.

- Who's this?

- This is Allie.

- [Allie] Who are you?

- I own this house.

Who are you?

I've never seen this person in my life.

What is she doing here?

- She is the only person
that's helped me all day.

Thank you.

- Wait a minute, Michelle,
what are you doing?

- We're leaving.

- Listen, Michelle, please--

- It's over, forget it.

- Who are you anyway?

- [Michelle] Allie, come on.

- Who is this person?

- And I said, "Why don't you stay?"

And so she stayed and then
together we would do things,

eat dinner, go for a walk, watch TV.

Michelle.

Michelle.

It's time to get up and go out.

- I don't wanna get up.

- [Allie] You can't stay in
bed all the time, Michelle.

- Why?

I don't have anything to get up for.

- Well how about a manicure?

Have you thought about the
job that you might get?

- [Michelle] I don't have any skills.

- [Allie] Michelle, you
can do a lot of things.

- [Michelle] Oh no I can't.

- [Allie] Yes you can, look at your hands.

I can tell everything by somebody's hands.

You're clean and you're
organized and you're careful.

- So I'll be a nice maid.

You are good at this though, Allie.

Where do you work?

- [Allie] Brown's Salon.

- (clears throat) Brown's Salon?

- Mmhmm.

- [Michelle] That's where
Carol Schweiker goes.

- Yes, Mrs. Schweiker.

Very rich big haired lady?

- [Michelle] Mmhmm.

- Always goes away every weekend
with different relatives.

I guess her husband has a girlfriend.

- Really?
- Oh yeah.

- (laughs) Well you know, she
borrowed a few things of mine

and hasn't returned 'em.

Carol Schweiker was one
of my so called friends

who wasn't there for me when I needed her.

She didn't have any of my stuff,

but I wanted to get back at her

and I needed the money.

- Do you want me to ask her for them?

- Oh, she's not a very nice person.

I don't think she's gonna
return 'em that easily.

- Want me to go get 'em?

- How about if I go with you?

That first burglary was done in anger.

It was my way of lashing out

at the people who'd abandoned me.

They failed to show the love
and support I felt I deserved,

but the next one was definitely for fun.

It's pretty easy, isn't it?

Just looking in that Rolodex

and grabbing a few
addresses nobody'll miss.

No biggie, huh?

- Uh huh.

- Well, I was just thinking,

you want that manicuring salon, right?

- [Allie] Yeah.

- And you deserve it.

- [Allie] Yeah.

- You know how long
it'll take you to save up

to get your manicuring salon, Allie?

- How long?

- About 100 years.

- 100 years?

- [Michelle] mmhmm.

- That's too long.

- That's what I'm saying.

So I was thinking,

we might want to go to some other houses

and help you out.

No what?

No you don't want your manicuring salon?

- No, I don't wanna steal.

- Well you know, they have insurance,

it's not really a big deal.

They'll never miss it.

But you, it'll help.

Okay okay okay, so, I
did have my own motives,

but I did wanna help Allie.

Really I did, especially
after what that little jerk,

Rodney, did to her.

- [Richards] Michelle,

this brings us to the more serious charge,

Rodney Alexander claims
that you kidnapped him,

assaulted him, you deprived him of food.

We'll read some of the
stuff that he's got here.

- Well the uh,

uh, the official report
is kidnapping, assault,

attempted rape, um, but
he specifically said

that he was tied up with
duct tape for five days,

wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything,

almost a ritualistic sexual
abuse, um and torture.

Um, he was beaten, he was beaten

with whatever he said, with um--

- Brooms--
- A broom, a hand,

and a um--
- He's got bruises, Michelle.

- It was my hand--
- He didn't get these

from being tied up.

- It was my hand.

- And the reason you did all
this is because he's a bad guy,

but you're not telling
us why he's a bad guy.

What did he do to you personally?

What did he do to you?
- He didn't do anything to me,

but Allie's my only friend and

he's not a nice guy.

Rodney was spoiled, selfish, narcissistic,

arrogant and self-absorbed,
your typical male specimen.

He also happened to be an alcoholic,

pill popping, chain smoking loser.

- [Woman] You look beautiful, look at you.

- (laughs) Thanks.

- [Woman] You've been drinking.

- No, I had this Irish Cream coffee,

we've gotta go, mom, come on.

- [Woman] Oh, I'll be about 20 minutes.

- We don't have 20 minutes.

- [Woman] What do you
mean we don't have 20--

- We don't have 20 minutes--
- [Woman] I have 20--

- Top of the hour--
- relax.

I want you to relax.

Will you lower your voice?

Just lower your voice, relax
and just take a little breath

because I'm not in any hurry.

- Rodney, you want a
cold drink or something?

- No no, I'm okay, thanks.

- [Woman] If I don't make this plane,

I'll make the next plane.

- All right fine, you
wanna wait two hours?

- [Woman] What do you mean wait two hours?

- It's gonna be a two hour layover.

- [Woman] No, it's a direct plane.

- That's okay, I'll book
another flight, all right?

- Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

(chaotic yelling)
(chattering)

- [Christine] Allie,
go relax for a minute.

- [Woman] Just wash it off.

Honey, you have to be more careful.

- I was careful.

- I can't believe this, man.

(sighs)

- Mr. Alexander?

- [Mr. Alexander] Whoa, excuse me, oh,

I'm in the bathroom right now.

- Well I just came in to
give you this neutralizer

so I could fix your pants.

- That's okay, it's all right,
I I I'd just like to be--

(talking over each other)

- [Allie] I'm not looking, Mr. Alexander,

I'm not looking at you, see?

I'm just fixing your pants.

- Thank you.

I uh, can I have my pants back, thank you.

Thank you very much, I just
would like to get changed.

Is that all right?

- [Allie] All right Mr.
Alexander, I'm not looking.

- Okay thank you.
- I'm sorry this happened.

- It's all right, thank you very much.

- [Allie] I'm sorry.

- [Christine] It was just um--

- Thank you.
- Mr. Alexander--

- You know um, there were
a couple of accidents um,

she um, she got bleach on
this guy's whatsis and um

well she spilled bleach on this man's um,

she impaired this man's testicles.

Um,

he hasn't been the same since.

(cheerful music)

- Mr. Alexander?

- Oh my God!

- Uh, could I just ask
one thing, Mr. Alexander?

- Would you just excuse me for a moment

while I'm trying to get changed?

- I just wanna ask you
as a way of apologizing

if you'd like to have dinner with me

at 5:30 tonight, early
bird supper at my home?

- That would be fine, that would be fine,

thank you and you know what?

I would love that.

Perfect, why don't you
give me one of your cards

and I will give you a
call as soon as I am done

dropping my mother off at the airport.

- I'm Allie--
- Is it on your card?

Allie, I'm Rodney.

- Hi Rodney.
- Nice to meet you.

- Tonight dinner?
- Tonight.

- 5:30.
- 5:30.

- Early bird supper--
- Thank you.

(Rodney sighs)

- [Michelle] That means you
asked him out on the date, huh?

- Yeah, that's okay though,
I'm a new age woman.

He didn't mind.

He took my phone number
and address and he said--

- Oh, that's great.

- You're gonna call me
for dinner, aren't you?

- Yeah, thanks.

- [Allie] Don't forget
to call me though Rodney.

Don't forget.

- Whoa whoa whoa, what
happened, look at you.

- I know, I know, what can I say?

(chattering over one another)

- Allie.

Allie?

- What do you mean by that?

- Oh, I don't mean anything by that.

- You just said you're having a hard time

believing that somebody from the salon

would ask me out on a date.

- Well you know--

- What, I'm not pretty?

What, I'm not smart?

- No.
- What?

I don't make a lot of money?
- No.

- What, I don't look like you?

Let me tell you something,
Rodney likes me.

He's taking me, well he's
coming for dinner here.

- That's not what meant, Allie.

- I'll tell you what I mean,
leave me alone, Michelle,

I'm gonna prepare myself by fixing my hair

and I don't want any
interference from you.

- Allie--
- Nope.

I had the last word.

I'm getting my hair fixed.

- Allie--
- No.

- That's not at all what I meant.

- [Allie] I'm sorry, I'm not available.

- Allie, come back here!

Allie!
- Shoo!

(sighs) Allie, I'm sorry.

Jesus.

(door rattling)

(door squeaks)

What have you done to your hair?

- I fried it.

- Oh my,

oh, don't panic.

Allie, um,

it's okay, it's okay, don't panic.

I think I can do something with it.

You happy?

- I'm happy.

When are you gonna leave?

- As soon as he gets here,
I'm out of here, okay?

I promise.

- Good.

- [Michelle] I felt bad about
hurting Allie's feelings,

but I was only trying to protect her,

but that's when I realized
that here was someone

who really needed me,

that I could do something
for someone else.

- When are you going?

- Are you sure you want me to go?

- No.

Maybe he got hit by a bus.

Maybe he lost my address
and my phone number?

Or maybe he's busy.

- Yeah, maybe he's busy.

I don't think he's coming, Allie.

- I don't think so either.

(sighs)

Why don't we eat?

- Allie, how do you feel about markets?

Do you like markets?

- I like to go shopping.
- Do you like to shop?

You know when you go into markets

and those plastic bags
that you can pull down?

You know that sound they make?

- Crack.
- That's right, the crackle

and the brown bags, they go (exhales)

and they put the air into 'em

and they all fill up and
sometimes you blow 'em

and put a rubber band and (claps)

I was thinking that maybe
a place like a market

would be a really good
place for you to work.

- I wanna work here.

I gonna be a manicurist.

I wanna have my own beauty salon.

I'm not gonna work in a supermarket.

I like 'em, but I don't wanna work in one.

- But think about the ice cream counters

and the cookie counters
and potato chip counters

and all those really neat--
- Christine?

If you let me stay,

if you let me stay, I won't take any money

and I'll work my way back up

and you'll see how good I do.

(crying) You have to give me
this one more little chance.

I didn't make mistakes every time.

I've been here a long time, Christine

and I've done some really
good things, haven't I?

- You wanna hear something really crazy?

You even look pretty to
me with your orange hair.

See, 'cause in my heart,

I think you're pretty
and I love you, I do.

- Please don't make me go away,

please--
- Listen to me, Allie,

I was just, I've got this feeling

and I just have to, I, you know,

you learn things as you
go through life, you learn

and Allie, do you know
that Mrs. Alexander's son

is gonna sue me for what
happened to his whatsis?

- Rodney wouldn't do that.

He's my friend, he likes me.

- He's suing us.

- Well he likes me and I can talk to him.

- But I like you too.

It has nothing to do with it.

- Please please (crying)
don't do this to me.

- Allie--
- Let me tell you

what I'll do--
- Allie--

- I'll prove it to you, (crying)

I'll give you a manicure right now.

- There were just things
that happened like that.

I mean, she cut patron's fingers

when she'd manicure them and um,

she's a precious girl, but I
don't think she'd hurt anyone

or ever do anything wrong.

- Well I'm gonna get a manicuring salon

after I get my manicuring license.

- (sighs) How are you gonna do that?

- Rodney's mother's out of town.

- So?

- She's in Mexico.

- So?

- We could go over there.

- Let's go.

I know that you're probably surprised

that this was all Allie's idea,

but Allie enjoyed the
game as much as I did.

We weren't just two losers,
broke, unemployed and single,

we were cat burglars, glamorous, powerful

and in charge of our destiny.

(playful music)

I read this pamphlet on alarm systems

and the stupid thing
is, is that most of them

are hooked up to security
monitoring companies

through a regular phone line.

All you have to do is
disconnect the outside line

and there's no way for
the alarm to go off.

As it turns out, I didn't
even need to worry,

the house was all open

like a present waiting to be unwrapped.

Wow, looks like somebody
had a party here last night.

Oh Allie, the door is open.

Are you sure uh, two weeks, huh?

- Yeah, she's in Acapulco.

- Okay.

Take it easy.

Look at this.

Whoa looks like there was
a party here last night.

(jazzy music)

Nice view.

(jazzy music)

- Terrible housekeeping.

- Whoa, we're here to rob your house.

- Yeah, you heard her!

We're here to rob your house.

We're robbing it.

- All right, let's go
check out the merchandise.

- Ow.

Yeah, let's check out the stuff.

Ow.

(jazzy music)

(Michelle whistling)

- Ah, here we are.

Allie no, get out of the
bathroom now, come on.

We have plenty of beauty supplies, Allie,

come on, let's go.

- I need these beauty
supplies, Michelle, I need 'em.

Woo.

Ah!
(man grunting)

(Allie screaming)

- Man, Jesus Christ--
- Oh my God!

Oh my God.
(Rodney coughing)

- What the hell are you doing?

What are you doing here?

- Rodney--
- What?

I know you, what are you
doing in my mother's bed?

- What's going on?

Come on, let's go!

(everyone talking over one another)

(Rodney grunts)

- Oh my God.

(Rodney groans)
(Allie whimpers)

You killed him.

- No.

Oh no, he's not dead.

Oh shit.

- Well what, what, what is it?

- Shit!
- What what?

(Michelle sighs)
Michelle, what is it?

- We can't leave.

- Why?

- He saw us.

- Oh.
- Oh God.

- He saw us.

What are we gonna do?

- Well we'll have to--
- Go,

we've got to go back, go, go on.

(Michelle mutters)

You get him in a chair,

I'm gonna go get something
to tie him up with.

- Okay.

Excuse me, Rodney.

(jazzy music)

(Allie grunting)

Gee.

(Allie grunting)

Ow.

(jazzy music)

- Want that, yes.

(drawer slams)

(Allie grunting)

Allie, quit screwing around.

Come on.
(Allie grunting)

- Oh my God, Michelle, he's on my arm.

- Oh come on.

- What do you mean?

Get him off of that side.

I'm under his, (pained yelling)

oh my God.

- Come on.

(engine humming)
(jazzy music)

(door humming)

(Rodney groans)

(Rodney gasping)

- (laughing) What the fuck is this man?

This is very funny. (grunting)

Hey, okay, I'm sober, man!

Come on, you can untie me, all right?

Oh fuck, I'm gonna kill you!

Hey hey, (yelling incoherently)
come and untie me, okay?

- He's screaming.

- [Rodney] Jesus Christ!

- Oh my God, he's screaming.

- This is fucking illegal!

This is kidnapping!

God dammit!

Oh my God, oh my God,
I'm gonna fucking panic.

Untie me, untie me right now.

- Rodney, all right.
- Untie me,

untie me right now!
- Calm down, breath!

- Untie me right now, don't tell me to sh,

just untie me, okay--
- Rodney,

I'll until you--
- Okay.

- Shh, shh--
- Okay, all right man.

- Don't wake anybody
else up like Michelle.

- [Michelle] Rodney, would you shut up?

- Don't tell me to shut up, untie me.

- Calm down, Rodney.

Think beautiful thoughts, Rodney,

think beautiful thoughts.

- Just untie me!
- Michelle,

- Okay, this is like kidnapping.

- Shut up!
- Untie me.

(muffled protesting)
- Oh my God,

Jesus, goodnight.

- Untie me!

I'm Rodney Alexander!

(muffled protesting)

Untie me!
(Allie yelps)

Untie me!

- I'm sorry, Rodney.
- Untie me.

- I'm sorry.

- No please, no no, please,
please, please come here.

- Just try to relax.

Breath, Rodney, good thoughts.

Think good thoughts, Rodney.

- Come here.

- [Allie] I can't.

- (crying) I am fucking pissed!

(birds chirping)

- [Burke] Okay, so this
was just another burglary

and he happened to be in the
wrong place at the wrong time?

- Mmhmm.

- [Burke] I have a
question is why wouldn't,

I mean five days,

that doesn't make sense to me,

keeping him bound for five days

when you're usually in and
out of your victim's home.

- Well, that's how long
we decided to stay there.

(cassette clicks)

(sassy jazzy music)

♪ Oh I love the way you move sometimes ♪

♪ I give back this feeling
boy and rolled on ♪

♪ Baby you knew what to do ♪

♪ I just wanna say thank you, come on ♪

♪ For doing it to me, oh ♪

(water splashes)
♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Can we do that again ♪

♪ Uh huh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels so
good, so right, uh huh ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Just a little to the right ♪

- Oh my God

♪ I could go on like a star all night ♪

Disgusting.

(water hissing)
(distant music playing)

♪ Can we do that again ♪

♪ Oh baby, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels so good, so right, oh ♪

- It's something a guy like
Simon could never understand.

He's a cop, after all.

We stayed because it was a nice house.

There was a pool and a refrigerator

full of smoked salmon and caviar.

Egyptian cotton sheets, a good stereo

and plenty of margaritas.

I knew that it wouldn't last
forever, but I didn't care.

For those few days, we
were living for the moment.

I still think of those days as
some of the best of my life.

Of course, there was one major
dark cloud on our horizon.

(Rodney gasps)

- Oh my God.

You're gonna kill me like that, man.

I got allergies, I can't
breath through my left nostril,

okay, I got a deviated septum

and this is like a wool carpet, okay?

I'm allergic to wool.

Please just don't put
that on my mouth again.

- All right, I'm sorry, Rodney.

- (sighs) Who are you?

Huh?

- [Allie] Allie.

- Allie, what do you want from me, Allie?

- You gotta keep up your strength.

Let me give you some food.

- No, I don't want any food, thank you.

- Rodney, you need to eat.

Go ahead, some nice
orange juice, vitamin C.

Good, huh?

- Yes.

- [Allie] Okay and here's some eggs.

- I don't want any food, I'm not hungry.

- Oh come on Rodney--
- Allie.

- It's good--
- I don't want any

fuckin' room service, okay?

Just get that offa me, all right?

- [Allie] Rodney, Rodney be nice.

- Okay, look, what do you want from me?

What do you need?

- I'm the girl that you had a date with,

an early bird supper
and you didn't show up

and I fried my hair and it
turned into red and I got fired.

That's who I am, Rodney.

- We had a date?

- I had a date with you.

- (laughs) This is about a date?

- [Allie] This is about
you hurting my feelings--

- You've got me tied up 'cause
I stood you up on a date?

What, are you mad?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Do you know, you could go up on charges

for burglary, for assault,
for a hostage situation,

for kidnapping, I mean--
- Don't say those things.

- We're talking about seven or eight years

in the California State Penitentiary, man.

Do you wanna--
- Don't say those things,

Rodney.
- It's the truth.

- No, Rodney--
- It's the truth.

If you untie me, I swear to God,

I'll have you absolved of all char,

is that my mother's shirt?

- I just borrowed it.

- Is that my mother's shirt?

- Rodney!

- Oh man, what are you wearing
my mother's clothes for?

- [Allie] I thought it looked nice on me.

- (exhales) Oh, this is so weird.

This is so fuckin' weird.

- [Allie] Can I give
you some advice, Rodney?

- Oh yeah, please, please do.

- You'd better start being nice!

- What do you mean nice?

- Nice to me!

- You fucking untie me!

(yelling over each other)

If you don't untie me right now,

I swear to God, when I break free of this,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'll kill you!

All right?
- All right Rodney--

- I take that back--
- You went too far.

- I won't kill ya.
- I will not

be talking to you again--
- All right,

just untie me, I'm sorry--
- Not today!

- I'm sorry, I went over the line.

- And I'm speaking to
Michelle about all this.

- I went over the line, I'm sorry.

- That's it.
- Don't don't leave me.

Don't leave me, come back here.

Come back here, I'm sorry.

I was just joking, okay?

I'm not gonna kill ya.

All right, I'll cooperate.

(gentle piano music)

- Allie?

What's the matter?

What's wrong?

(gentle piano music)

What did he do?

What did he say?

Tell me.

- He doesn't like me.

- [Michelle] He doesn't like you?

- [Allie] It's not him, Michelle, it's me.

- No it's not, it's not you.

It doesn't have anything to do with you.

He's not a nice person in
case you haven't noticed.

- I'm not pretty.
- No.

- I'm not smart.

- [Michelle] Allie, you're
beautiful and you're smart

and it has nothing to do with you.

(Allie crying)
Did you hear me?

Do you understand?

(gentle piano music)
(Allie crying)

(Rodney sighs)

What'd you say to her?
- What?

- What'd you say to her?

- What do you mean, what'd I say to her?

I told her untie me.

- [Michelle] You've upset her now.

- I've upset her?

This joke has gone far enough.

You wanna know something--
- I don't think

you're in the position to
argue with me right now.

I want you to be nice to Allie.

- Are you out of your fucking mind?

You've got me tied to a chair!

- [Michelle] I suggest you
just relax and be nice to her.

- I can't relax, I'm tied to a chair.

What do you want?

You tell me what you want.

Whatever you want, you
name it, you got it.

- Are you through?

- Untie me!

- You know what, I'll be back
when your attitude's better.

- [Rodney] No, you untie me now!

Get back here!

You get back here!

Michelle!

(cheerful music)

Can I talk to you a minute?

- [Allie] I'd better go.

I gotta--
- Oh come on, I'll do it.

- Okay Michelle, look,

you're right, I'm willing
to negotiate here,

I'm willing to compromise.

Can I speak to you for a moment please?

- You called?

- (sighs) Thank you, yes.

Uh, all right,

(sighs) I'm just a product
of my environment, okay?

And I don't know what I did
in the karmic circle of life

to sort of deserve this
particular situation,

but whatever it is, I'm sure
it's justified in your eyes

and I'm willing to
apologize and to acquiesce

to whatever it is that you need.

What do you need me to do?

- I need you to be nice to Allie.

I need you to be real nice to her.

I need you to make her feel special--

- You need me to be nice to Allie?

I know, you keep saying that.

I don't think I really
understood the full capacity

of that statement before,

but it's starting to
gain some weight with me.

I understand what you need.

It's not in my nature
to be nice to people,

but I'm starting to catch that momentum.

You need a real genuine, sincere, nice,

nice--
- you think you can do that?

- I think I can.

- How do I know I can believe you?

- Hey look, if I slighted
her in any other way,

I'm not aware of it.

I mean, it's just, it's part of my nature.

- [Michelle] All right, that's enough.

I'll give you one chance.

- All right.

- [Allie] What did he say?

- He said he wants to see you.

- [Allie] For what?

- I don't know, why don't you go find out?

Go on.

Go see what he wants.

- [Allie] Is he gonna be nice?

- I don't know, I have a feeling.

(Allie giggles)

- Allie, hey.

Oh, come in, come on in, please.

Oh thanks.

(sighs)

- Michelle said you wanted to speak to me?

- [Rodney] And she's
absolutely right, I did.

How are you?

- I'm okay, how are you?

- I'm okay, I'm (sighs)

I just want to tell ya,

I'm really sorry we
got off to a bad start.

I just uh,

I don't know, it just sort
of took my by surprise and

I realize you're--
- That's okay.

- Is it okay?
- I understand.

- You do?
- Uh huh.

- Wow.

You're so understanding.

I really like that about you.

(sighs) I just uh,

I just uh, I don't know, I'm sorry.

I'm just really sorry.

- You're really sweet.

- I'm sweet?

- [Allie] You're sweet.

- I don't think anybody's

ever called me sweet my whole life.

I think, I think you bring that out in me.

(Rodney grunts)

(Rodney sighs)
- Oh.

- Wow, wow.

You okay?

You all right?

You okay, hey, you know what, uh,

don't panic, here, come back.

You know what I could really use?

- What?

- [Rodney] I could use a hug right now.

(Rodney grunts)

Thanks.

You know what,

I would really love to put
my arms around you right now.

- [Allie] You would?

- Yeah.

That'd make me so happy.

- Michelle?

He kissed me.

- He did?

- He kissed me.

- Great.

- He gave me a kiss.

- That's excellent.

(woman giggling)

- Now he wants to hug me.

- He does?
- Yeah.

I just have to untie his hands.

- Ow, what are you doing?

What the hell's gotten into you?

- [Michelle] Shut up!

- What the hell, what's wrong with you?

- [Michelle] We are not stupid, Rodney!

- I didn't say you were stupid.

Great ass though.

Oh, I was just kidding. (screams in pain)

(birds chirping)

- Hi hon,

you having fun?

- What did you say to Rodney?

- (sighs) I didn't say anything to Rodney.

You know, I was thinking though,

you can do a lot better
than Rodney, Allie.

- No I can't, Michelle.

- Yes, you can.

- I'm not leaving Rodney, Michelle.

- Allie, God.

(sighs) How do I explain this to you?

- I understand him.

- We'll never see each other again--

- I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

- Allie--
- I'm not leaving Rodney!

- Allie!
- I'm not leaving Rodney--

- Allie!
- I don't wanna talk about it!

(Michelle sighs)

- Fine then we'll be in jail,

we'll never see each other again,

you'll never get your manicuring
license and that's it,

that's the end of our life.

- Would you leave me alone?

(Michelle exhales)

I'd like to be alone right now.

(thumps ball)
(water splashes)

(birds chirping)

(jazzy music)

♪ Oh I love the way you move sometimes ♪

♪ I get back this
feeling boy and hold on ♪

♪ Baby you knew what to do ♪

♪ I just wanna say thank
you for doing it to me ♪

♪ Oh baby, hey yeah ♪

♪ Can we do that again ♪

♪ Uh huh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels so
good, so right, uh huh ♪

♪ Oh, I like when you do
me like that, uh huh ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh wow ♪

♪ Oh baby, yeah ♪

♪ When you do me like that, uh huh ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Just a little to the right ♪

♪ I could go on like a star all night ♪

♪ It's not what you got,
but how you use it baby ♪

♪ And you can use it on me, oh ♪

♪ Baby, hey ♪

♪ Can we do that again, oh ♪

- You're not speaking to me?

(Michelle laughs)

- You gotta understand, Michelle,

there are some things between two people

that you don't understand.

Don't do that, don't
treat me like I'm stupid.

- Fine, marry him, whatever.

Have kids together.

- I will.

- Good.

I began to realize we had a problem.

Rodney being nice to Allie
wasn't gonna be enough for her.

She had tasted love and she wanted more.

I'd been trying to make her
feel good about herself,

but I realize now that
there was the potential

for a serious fall.

(gentle strumming music)

- Good morning, Rodney.

- [Rodney] Good morning, Allie.

- Are you comfortable?

- (sighs) Comfortable,

I've never felt so
comfortable in all my life.

I've never felt so well
looked after my whole life.

I never had anybody
cook for me and clean me

and comb my hair, not even my own mother.

- Do you really mean that, Rodney?

- [Rodney] I really do, Allie.

I mean I've spent years in therapy.

I was on Ritalin as a kid.

I mean, I, at 16, they put me on Prozac

and I've taken pills and booze

and cigarettes and these five days,

I think you've even
helped me quit smoking.

I really wanna thank you.

(Rodney grunts)

Wow.

- [Allie] Rodney,

what would you do if I untied you?

- (laughs) I uh,

I might ask you, I might ask you not to.

- Why?

- I don't know, I just feel so,

I feel so connected with you.

Have you ever made love to a man before?

Never?

You've never gone all the way?

- Have you ever made love

to a developmentally
challenged girl before?

- No, I never have.

- This is great.

This is both gonna be our first time.

(scissors clipping)

- [Richards] Simon,
we've been driving around

for like two hours here.

There's no sidewalks in this place.

- [Burke] Hey, nobody walks around here.

(Richards sighs)

- [Richards] I wanna walk
right now to a restaurant,

that's where I wanna walk.

- All right, all right--
- We're going to the game,

I wanna see the Dodgers and that's it.

This is ruining my whole day.

There's nothing up here.

My stomach's growling.

Can you hear it?

- [Burke] (laughs) No,
I didn't hear it, Frank.

Lot of stuff going on
around here it looks like.

- Well God, what's going on?

Eh, (sighs) all right,
that's it, there's nothing.

- [Burke] See that, what is that?

- [Richards] What?

- [Burke] 7206, what's the book on 7206?

- [Richards] Oh, that's Alexander,

that's the one that we talked today.

- Okay, I don't--
- Beauty parlor,

what's her name?

- [Burke] I think we
should take a look at that.

- [Richards] Oh come on, will ya?

This is, you're grasping at straws here,

you know what I mean?
- Well, I mean,

we're here and--
- I mean, the thing

on the ground (muttering)
- Well see

and we'll just take a quick look--

- [Richards] All right,
this, I'm staying in the car.

You go in--
- All right, stay in the car.

I'll be right back.

(keys clink)

(zipper buzzes)

- [Michelle] I was faced with a dilemma.

I knew that Rodney
didn't care about Allie,

but I also knew how
stubborn Allie could be.

As I got ready to load the car,

I racked my brain for ways
to get Allie out of there,

but as things turned out,
I never got the chance.

(doorbell rings)

(door squeaks)

(Michelle laughs)
- Hi, Michelle.

- [Michelle] Hi, yeah.

- Yeah, we met at the, the other day.

- Parking ticket.
- Right, right.

- Hi.
- You live here?

- Uh no, I'm house sitting, yeah.

What are you doing here?

- Well we were, I was
driving by and I noticed

that your gate was open.

- [Rodney] I want you
to go to the bathroom

and put on your best perfume.

- Perfume?

Here's the scissors.

- Oh.
- You do the rest.

- [Rodney] Okay, all right.

(grunts) Oh.

- [Allie] I'll be in the bathroom.

- Okay.

- [Allie] I'll be right back.

- All right, you go freshen up.

Okay.

(gasping) Oh.

Thank you. (exhales)

(gasping)
(grunting)

(body thumps loudly)

- [Burke] No, it's just precaution.

I don't mean to scare you.

- Oh good.

Um well, I was getting ready to go out,

but thanks for coming by.

- Oh sure.

Okay.

It's good seeing you.

- You too.

(Michelle exhales)

(knocking)

Hello again.

Twice in one day, huh?

- I don't wanna be too forward,

but would you like to have dinner with me?

- Um,

(laughs) how about if I call you, yeah?

- Yeah um, yeah, call me
at the police station.

- Okay I will.
- And that way,

you can call me if anything's going on

or if you just wanna talk
or, or we can get together.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I don't have a card.

Um,

(laughing)

do you have a pen?

I don't have a pen.

- Um, sure, hold on
just don't go anywhere.

I'll be right back, okay?

(Richards sighs)

(water hissing)

(Allie spits)

(sassy jazzy music)
(Rodney breathing hard)

- Hey,

Michelle?

- [Rodney] Who the fuck are you?

- I'm Detective Burke, hold on, Michelle?

- Sh sh, just hold your voice down, man,

hold your voice down,
all right, listen to me.

I'm Rodney Alexander, okay?

This is my house.

I've been tied up,

I've been held as a
hostage here for five days,

tied to a chair with duct tape--

- Are you hurt?

- [Rodney] Am I hurt?

Do I look like I'm all right?

- All right, sh sh sh.

Michelle!

Michelle.
- Sh, sh,

would you just be quiet
for a second, all right?

There's one of 'em still in the bedroom.

- Excuse me sir, relax--
- Oh my God.

- [Michelle] He needs to get back to bed.

(talking over each other)

- Wait, this man is obviously hurt.

Hold on one second

and I'd like to know
what's going on, please.

- Okay, this man--

- Oh yeah, I'd like to
hear, what is going on?

- Drug situation and he's
in a detox program right now

that we are trying to help him--

(Rodney applauding)
- In spite of that.

- [Rodney] Beautiful, that was
great, that's her turn, okay?

My turn, thank you.

I'm Rodney Alexander.

I live here.

This is my house, I live here.

My mother lives here.

Camille Alexander--
- Hold on one second,

do you have any I.D.?
- Do I look like I have I.D.?

I'm wearing pajamas.

I can't even move.

Do you see that fire mantle?

That's got all of my pictures

ever since I've been a baby, isn't it?

Do I look familiar, look.

And that's my mother.
- All right, so he lives here.

- Rodney.

- The man is obviously,
as you can see, a little--

- Okay, in spite of that,

it's obvious that he's not in good shape

and I think we should call the hospital

and take care of him.
- [Rodney] Is it my turn?

Is it my turn, Detective Simon?

- Allie, Allie--
- Is it my turn?

- You have no clothes on--

(everyone talking over each other)

- Rodney and I are
boyfriend and girlfriend.

He kissed me, he wanted to be with me,

make love to me and what
happened was that um,

everything got very confused.

It was a mixed up thing,
but he's my boyfriend

and he kissed me and we
were gonna make love.

- If he was your boyfriend,
why'd you tie him up?

- [Burke] Well he claims
that Michelle beat him

and then you attacked him sexually.

- He's nervous.

- [Richards] He said
you girls kidnapped him.

- It's not like that.

- When we walked in, he
was crawling away from you.

That doesn't sound like you're in love.

- That's because you both came.

(Richards sighs)

- [Burke] I wanna know
what brought you here,

I wanna know why this happened.

- It doesn't matter, Simon.

- [Burke] It does matter.

- Why?

- [Burke] Because that's
the difference between

you spending a long
time in a prison or not.

- But I don't care.

- [Burke] How can you not care?

- I just don't care.

- I mean you have people
saying terrible things--

- [Michelle] It's a personal
feeling of yours, Simon,

it doesn't have anything to do with--

- No, it's not a personal
feeling, it's a matter of,

I'm frustrated that you
won't help yourself.

I'm frustrated that
you're allowing yourself

to go to prison, that you would,

I mean, you're not defending yourself.

You're not helping me at all.
- Simon, I don't care.

I'm going to jail, I'm guilty, that's it.

- All right.

- Okay.

(upbeat music)

(door squeaks)

(quiet chattering)

- Rodney!
- Hey!

- Rodney--
- Hey, fuck you,

get away from me, just
back off, all right?

All right, give her some
Prozac or something.

What's the matter with
you, you're my attorney,

you're supposed to protect me.

- Rodney?
- The woman's five feet tall,

can't you keep her off me?

- Rodney, will you come visit,
I'll be waiting for you!

- [Rodney] Sure will.

- I'll be waiting!

- I've known Mrs. Alexander
for about 13 years.

I knew her son from the
time he was a little boy,

she used to bring him in when, you know,

he was, I think about, I don't know,

maybe 15, 16 years old and
he was a good looking boy,

but he's you know, he
was damaged in the shop.

- The house is okay.

I mean, it needs some repairs and

I don't know, I'm just not,

I'm very nervous to tell you the truth.

I just wanna move.

I wanna go somewhere, I
don't know where I wanna go,

maybe to an island.

Maybe I'll go back to Las Brisas. (laughs)

- Well--
- Well. (laughs)

Should we tell 'em?

(laughing)

- Oh.

- Well, we are really compatible.

- We are.
- And um--

- You know, I introduced them,

but I knew, I knew, if I hadn't
been involved at the time,

it would have been us,
it would have been us.

- We share so many things in common.

We love to do a lot of things together.

We love to do a lot of
the same things too.

For example, this tomato here,

we grew this in our garden.

- Yeah.
- We both like

organic gardening and uh,

and for me to find out that
she liked to grow tomatoes too

was an extraordinary--
- cucumbers.

You should see our refrigerator,

just full of these cucumbers,

like--
- If you want a salad

or anything, we can make
one up for you. (laughing)

- I can tell that you are calm
because you're not a biter.

I can tell that you're neat

because your cuticle is nice and round.

I can tell that you are soft

because you let your skin be smooth

and I can tell when I
do the wrist rotation

if you're relaxed or not.

- [Michelle] So you see,
everything worked out just fine.

Allie got her manicuring salon

and I'm just happy hanging
out and taking her bookings.

We got quite a business going here.

Allie still writes to Rodney,
but he never writes back.

Surprise.

Who needs them?

Men are nothing but trouble.

From now on, it's just Allie and me.

(cheerful music)

(cheerful energetic music)