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HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE EASILY AND WITHOUT PAIN

HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE IN MEXICO

WHY HAS MEXICO BECOME A TOURIST DESTINATION TO COMMIT SUICIDE?

Chima!

Chima, no!

No! Why would you do that?

- Don't do that! - Hey!

You're beating him up! What's wrong with you?

No. He ate poop.

I saw you! You hit him hard!

There are trainers that can help you with that.

He ate homeless shit! What if your guy was eating shit?

Why? Do you fuck your dog?

- Yeah, I do! You wanna see a video? - You're fucking disgusting.

- Yes I am! You pig! - Go fuck yourself!

Why didn't you do anything?

Chima, dude!

Stop eating shit!

Good afternoon, I'm offering poems for a little help.

Chima.

Hey, Beto.

You making a lot of noise today, what's the plan?

Well, yes, a little bit.

Mr Mateo wants us to take out a wall. He's bringing...

OK, fine, thanks.

Hey. Yes, yes. Sorry.

Mr Sebastián?

I'm almost done with the brushes.

OK. Thanks.

- You're fucking disgusting! - Yes, I am.

Sebas?

Sebastián?

Drug addict.

Wake up.

- I'm awake. - What is this, a spa?

I was resting...

Resting.

C'mon stupid. Gustavo's here.

He's here to take photos and he charges by the hour.

I don't know which paintings you want him to shoot.

It's easy. They're there. I left them there.

I'm sorry, we took him out of a K-hole.

Give him a second.

Yeah, yeah. I got it.

- Vero? - Yes?

Where's my stapler?

Fuck, no!

Look what you did!

What's wrong crybaby?

Look! She stacked them on top of each other.

Vero, come here please.

They're ruined.

I thought...

What were you thinking?

You stacked wet paintings and fucked them all up.

Fuck.

Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!

- I thought they were... - No! Clearly you didn't think at all.

You just... ruined them.

I'll clean them now.

How? They're paintings.

I can clean them with this rag.

Sorry.

There are some drawings hanging in that room, I think.

Just photograph whatever you find.

Piggy?

What do you want? Vero fucked them up.

Fucked what up? They were horrid, anyway.

What is this drama? Come out.

Dude, what!

Incredible. Focus dude.

No. Can you knock?

Fuck, watch out!

Very classy.

We said we were taking the photos today.

Well, I forgot. I'm sorry.

So dramatic, you can fix them right?

Sebastián?

What?

Why do we have to eat three times a day?

Nobody cares about anything.

No one cares about me.

- No one gives a shit. - What are you talking about?

What was Scorsese's latest film?

I don't know.

You see? No one cares about...

What does that have to do with anything?

It's just an example of... I need water.

This drug addict bitch.

What you need to do is...

stop doing this shit

and just kill yourself.

Hang yourself from these stairs.

I'll take some Pentobarbital and ciao .

Yeah that. I don't know what it is but do it.

You don't know what Pentobarbital is?

No...

It's a drug to put dogs to sleep.

It's really easy to get in Mexico.

You drink it, you fall asleep,

and bye-bye.

Terminally ill, old people come here from Europe to buy it.

Pentobarbital. Sounds delicious.

Hey, guys, I'm all done.

Sorry for the, uh...

Don't worry about it.

I don't want to be nosey

but I just got back from Zicatela,

and it was very relaxing.

It could be exactly what you need.

OK, bro, thanks.

What is Zicatela?

Really? What kind of faggot are you?

Google it.

Keep an eye on him.

Nah, he's full of shit.

See you.

- Mr Sebas? - What's up?

I didn't know the paintings were wet.

It was obvious, but whatever.

Anything I can do to fix this...

Too late.

You screwed up big time.

You need to start trying harder.

Do you have the keys to the storage unit?

I didn't bring them.

Why do I even bother asking?

I can go get them now.

- At your house? - Yeah.

Because you live next door?

You live on the other side of town, right?

I can bring them tomorrow.

You know what? Go do your thing.

I just wanted to apologize.

Let's talk about this later.

And you, homosexual,

instead of painting dicks all day,

go to Zicatela and get fucked.

That way, I can finish the construction work,

and you can give another faggot herpes.

Honey?

- Coming! - Sorry...

It's fine.

Beto, come here.

We have to do something about this window.

Can you put this on a plate, please?

We need to keep the mosquitoes out.

- Where the hell were you? - Vero ruined Sebastián's paintings.

We couldn't take the photos.

Don't get mad at me.

Do you want a guava roll?

No, thanks.

Vero, you need to clean up downstairs too.

We can't keep wasting time like this.

Hey, Vero?

Yes?

Do you mind watching Chima this weekend?

I'm going to the beach.

I'd be happy to.

She and I are besties.

- Right, Chima? - Vero, Chima is a male.

Look for yourself.

Male.

Mr Sebastián?

I know I really messed up, and I wanted to ask,

could you tell Mr Mateo that I'm good at my job?

He seemed really mad and I'm scared that he might...

that he might...

Vero it's not a big deal. I'll tell him.

Mr Sebastián,

have a pastry. They're yummy.

Take one.

- There you go. - OK.

Thanks.

OK, Piggy. Listen up.

Piggy, stop suffering. You're at the beach.

Order one of these "on the rocks."

Hey there. How are you?

Come on.

He's drowning!

- Be careful! - What?

- Watch out! - What?

That guy's drowning!

Be careful with the tide!

Watch out!

Are you alright?

Hey, are you alright?

Fuck! He's drowning!

I don't see him!

Fuck!

Swim to the right!

I'm caught in the riptide!

I'm caught in the riptide!

I'm caught in the riptide!

Help!

Grab on to this.

My head hurts.

I feel that... the pain is too much.

My head fucking hurts!

Calm down. Breathe.

Give him some space.

Aww, look. He's still scared.

- Hey. - Hi.

Come here.

Huh?

- I said come here. - No, thanks. I'm going back to my hotel.

Why are you judging me?

It's not that I'm judging you.

I'm also a human being, so you know.

I know, I'm just not horny right now.

I saw you checking out my cock.

- Well, I couldn't help it. - Come touch me.

What? No.

Empanadas?

Go away. Get out of here.

Fuck off!

I have cinnamon buns too.

I've got banana or veggie empanadas.

Give me one banana.

Hey, friend, it's for everybody.

It's keta...

I'm sorry...

That's just how I do it...

JUANSILVA SENT YOU A STORY BY @JTFIRSTMAN

SAVE ME SOME KETAMINE!

Hey!

Hi, Chima!

How are you, baby?

Hey, Mr Sebas.

Chima missed you a lot.

She and I cried together thinking of you.

He looks skinnier, has he been eating?

I bought you flowers at the Jamaica Market.

They're cheaper there.

They're pretty. Thanks.

I'm making schnitzel.

Piggy!

I want all the gross details.

That's Jordan Firstman, right? The comedian?

He's some pathetic influencer I met at the beach.

Did you guys fuck?

- What? - Did he fuck you?

Enough with the gross questions.

I can't tell if he wants to marry me or work with me.

He's fucking brain-dead.

So what's the deal with the noise?

I have some stupid meeting with HBO.

Who cares about HBO?

I wanna hear about this project with Jordan Firstman.

Dude, drop it.

What's he like?

He doesn't exist. Forget about him.

Well, then take the meeting because this famous painter thing is not happening

and poverty looks awful on you.

Why do we have to work?

What is this hell of a prison?

- This diabolical design of labor... - It's worse to be poor!

It's already disgusting to be an artist,

but being poor and an artist? That's too much.

It's so pathetic.

Drink a little...

Pentobarbital

Drink some Pentobarbital

Alright! 2pm at Contramar. Don't be late.

Bye, Piggy!

Fucking shitty internet.

Shit!

No fucking way...

Motherfucker!

Chima!

Yes, please, thank you very much.

PENTOBARBITAL PRICE

Chima!

Chima! Piggy.

Pentobarbital costs 392 pesos.

I'll get two bottles, and then we go to Zicatela

and kill ourselves on that infested beach, I beg you.

Chima.

Beto?

- Vero? - Yes?

Do you know where Beto is? I need to bring that couch down.

He went to Home Depot.

Mr Sebastián?

I'm leaving early today because it's my niece's birthday.

- Sure. - She's turning 15.

I have a dress and everything.

Sounds good. Go to your party.

Mr Sebas?

What's up?

I was wondering, have you talked with Mr Mateo?

Because I work really hard. And I can't afford to lose this job.

I'm helping my uncle pay his medical bills.

He's on an IV drip and it's really expensive.

Vero, of course. I think I told him.

Don't worry.

OK, that's all.

Yep.

Asshole.

Asshole.

I don't like love.

No? Why?

It's disgusting.

- You think so? - Yes, it's gross.

Mr Sebas?

Chima had this in her mouth.

What?

Yeah, just now.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

You need to be careful with that stuff.

It's fine, Vero, it's for relaxing, it's medicine.

Doctors prescribe it, it's all good.

What does it do to you?

Nothing, it's like being dead.

How come you like that?

I like to relax.

Can you help me bring the couch down?

A friend is coming to stay here tomorrow.

Sure. No problem.

Alright, then.

It's pretty big.

Can it fit one person?

Yes, of course it can.

Mr Sebastián, I'm ready.

Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.

Grab it from that side, I got it here.

Mr Sebastián.

Vero, give me a second.

You got it?

I'm kind of in a hurry.

The doorway's really narrow.

No, turn it.

That's what I'm doing.

There we go.

Wait, hang on.

Why are you stopping?

- Wait, I got a message. - Mr Sebastián.

- Mr Sebastián! - Fuck! Vero!

Oh, God.

Mr Sebastián, Mr Sebastián...

Oh, God.

Mr Sebastián!

Chima!

Chima, no!

Good afternoon, Mr Mateo.

Yeah, hi. Do you know where Sebastián is?

Mr Sebastián

left...

He went out.

If you see him, tell him I'm waiting at the restaurant.

Yes. I'll let him know.

- Don't worry. - Great.

- See you tomorrow. - OK, bye.

Miss Vero?

Miss Vero?

Hey, Beto.

- We're outside. Can you let us in? - I'm not here.

I went to my niece's quinceañera .

But...

Mr Sebas talked to Mr Mateo,

and he said you shouldn't come today.

He has a meeting or something.

But Mateo said we had to finish everything today.

I have no idea.

Hello? What's up?

What do you mean "What's up?"

Weren't you waiting downstairs?

- Yes! Yes. - Are you coming with us or what?

I'm on my way!

- What took you so long? - Hi, Auntie.

That's how you're going? Brush your hair.

Or put some make-up on or something!

You're fine, don't mind him.

Fuck, Vero!

Hey, uncle.

Hey, Auntie!

Fuck, Vero!

Thanks, Auntie.

OK, it's our turn.

Happy birthday!

Can I talk to you for a second?

I'll be right back.

What's up? All good?

Yes, everything's fine.

What's going on, Vero?

Something... happened.

So...

I wanted to ask you if you're still working at the workshop with Sandoval.

Why do you ask? What's with Sandoval?

No, it's just... I...

You know what, Auntie? Just go have fun.

No, I'm just worried he's a bad influence.

You're so handsome.

- Lalo. - What?

You have to ask David for his taxi.

For what?

There was an accident.

No fucking way.

We have to call the police. It was an accident.

Who the fuck is gonna believe you?

Okay, imagine I'm the police.

So tell me, what happened here?

I don't understand. How?

Don't you get it? I am the police.

What happened here?

Mr Sebas asked me to help him bring a sofa down.

So he got close to the edge... and he fell.

How?

Well, I was holding on to the sofa,

and I lost my balance so I pushed a little, and he...

You pushed him?

And when you pushed him

and your boss called, what did you tell him?

That he had left.

I was very upset and I didn't know what to say.

You lied!

Stop, fuck off.

And what did you do while this man was bleeding to death over here?

I went to a party...

I know it's wrong.

I know I should have called you, guys, but I...

Fucking fatass!

It's too late! You didn't call the police!

Keep it down!

Listen to me, we need to get him out of here.

You already said he left.

- I'll go get the taxi. - No! There's an event on!

When does that fucking restaurant close?

Shut up. I'm...

Move that shit away.

Hi, how are you doing? Can I help you with anything?

- Good evening... - Good evening.

- Miss? - Yes?

Such a nice party.

Thank you! It's invitation-only tonight.

Excuse me.

What time will the party end?

Who knows? All night long, I think.

Oh! Mr Sebas.

Pull it from over there. Get it in there.

OK, you got it. Turn around, that's it.

Lift him up!

Wait outside.

Make sure no one comes.

What is that?

It's a chair I have to bring down for Mr Mateo.

I have to bring it.

What are you doing?

Leave!

I can't go home right now.

Go! I'm gonna stay here.

Leave, leave.

We'll talk later.

Come on now! Leave!

Yes? Mr Mateo?

Can you come down to the plaza please?

I need help with something.

Chima!

Chima!

Here, Chima.

Chima.

Hi, Chima, how are you?

- And Sebas? - I don't know.

I left and when I came back he wasn't there.

I texted him but he hasn't replied.

- So, you haven't seen him? - No, I haven't.

Oat cappuccino my love?

Yes, but from Alma Tierra,

Panadería gives me diarrhea.

Ew! Gross!

That's a pretty mirror! Where are you taking it?

Keep an eye on the car please.

Hello, ma'am? Is this five-two?

Five two, yes.

Spanish, a little bit, but...

No, I don't know.

I don't understand, I don't know what you're saying.

No, I don't know.

Vero, bring this box up and the keys.

It seems this gringo is staying with Sebastián.

He's staying here?

Stop, stop!

What are you doing? Why are the tiles sitting outside?

Vero told us to you said to stop working yesterday.

When did I say stop working?

I didn't say that, Beto,

Mr Sebas told me you said they should stop working.

What a lying son of a bitch!

You take orders from Sebastián now?

Who pays you?

- Who do you take orders from? - You.

So, then? Get to it man!

Yes, okay, Sir.

Veronica, can you open upstairs? We need to get in there with Jordan.

I didn't say anything, Beto. You're making stuff up.

What? No, not me.

You brought down a sofa?

- When was that? With Sebastián? - No, we didn't bring down anything.

Yes! I see.

Oh, right!

But we ended up not bringing it down because he had to leave.

But when was this? Before he left?

Mmm, yes, before, and later he left.

By the way, I brought down the chair you asked for.

No, this is not the Herman Miller.

Oh, it isn't? I thought...

We're going up to the storage unit to get the couch.

No!

- What? - It's just that I forgot the keys.

Again? Damn!

You have to have a set of keys here always!

Yes, I know. I'm sorry, Mr Mateo.

I think I have keys.

Chima. Chima.

What?

What is it, Chima?

- I don't know why she's like this. - Chima.

Fuck, Veronica!

Make an extra set of keys!

- Dude! Are you coming down or what? - Yes?

- Are you going on your own? - No, Sebastián's friend just got here.

Which friend? Is he a fag?

Yes, he's gay. Why does that matter?

Why does that matter?

OK, come down now.

Hi.

I was giving Chima water, and food. He ran a lot.

What did you say?

That Chima ran a lot.

Tell me where Sebastián is. I know you know where he is.

Well I don't know. He went out. I don't know.

But downstairs I showed you a picture of him

and you pretended that you didn't know him.

Where is he?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I didn't notice anything. I didn't see.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Tell Sebastián that I'm his worst nightmare

and that nobody ghost Jordan First.

I don't know what you're talking about, mister.

I can't understand you.

Chima!

- Get that taxi. Yes. - Well dumbass the taxi isn't mine...

- Let's see if it's available. - No.

- No what? - It has to be today.

Fuck you. Let me see what I can do.

This motherfucker is heavy!

- What are you doing? - He's already dead, bitch.

We're almost there.

Listen.

That fucking gringo.

That fucking gringo.

Come on! This way!

The twin was the one who also came from Puerto Vallarta.

Quickly!

Shh! Don't make noise!

Over there!

What do you want? Close the door.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

Chima.

Chima?

Sorry, I didn't know.

Sebastián is here now?

Well... I don't know.

No, I don't. I didn't...

I found Sebastián's phone and his wallet this isn't normal where is he?

Mr Mateo didn't tell me that you were coming with someone,

that you were staying here, that's the thing.

He wants to know where Mateo is because he needs to talk to him.

He's downstairs with his wife, but they're coming up in a bit.

Goodbye, ma'am.

Piggy!

Drink some Pentobarbital.

So I mean, I think right now everything's pretty dirty

but it can turn out nice.

- Renata, can you come here a second? - This is Claudia, the interior designer.

- Hello. - She's wonderful.

Nice to meet you. Congratulations.

I'm worried about Sebastián, no one knows where he is.

What the fuck?

His wallet and phone are upstairs. The gringo has them.

He hasn't replied to his messages in days.

He'd been joking about this dog poison called Pentobarbital.

And I don't know if he took it.

- Dog poison? Get out of here... - Well, listen to this message...

Piggy! Pentobarbital costs 392 pesos.

I'll get two,

let's go to Zicatela and kill ourselves on that infested beach, I beg you.

Listen to this.

Miss Piggy, yes, you only deserve to die.

So, I'll get them both and we kill ourselves in Playa del Amor.

Pentobarbital, dude?

Mateo, why are you making suicide pacts on faggot beaches?

- Delete that right now! - It's no use in deleting it.

It's on Sebastián's phone, the gringo has it upstairs.

What the fuck Mateo?

But do you think he killed himself? Should I call his family?

No!

What do I do then?

Dude, I don't know. Just don't get me involved.

You're a fucking mess!

Hey, Claudia?

Claudia?

Piggy! Pentobarbital costs 392 pesos,

I'll get two,

let's go to Zicatela and kill ourselves on that infested beach, I beg you.

What are you looking at, Verónica?

Get the chair that I've been asking for.

Yes, Mr Mateo.

Miss Piggy,

yes, you only deserve to die, so...

Pentobarbital.

- So, what am I supposed to do? - Write it down.

Let's see... here...

- Pento what? - Barbital.

Pentobarbital.

What the fuck is that?

It's dog poison.

Why do you want that?

Don't ask.

- Just get it. - OK! OK! OK!

See you later.

Chima!

Mrs Vero, is it that the sofa that you and Sebastián were tearing down

the last time I saw him?

Well, look...

Apparently Mr Sebastián was very sad,

so Mr Mateo thinks that maybe...

he took poison or something.

What are you talking about, poison? He didn't take any poison.

It was supposed we were going to work on my show here together.

He invited me to work on my TV show what are you talking about?

Mr Sebas liked to take ketamine, drugs, marijuana...

He would stay in his room, in the dark.

He actually enjoyed feeling dead.

This is a different drug!

It's poison for dogs,

Pentobarbital.

I can't keep talking with you, I have a lot to do

Chima!

Fuck, Vero!

Poison for dogs.

Beto.

What's going on?

I'm very sad.

I was cleaning up here and this slipped and I broke the whole thing.

Don't worry about it, they were old.

We were gonna replace them anyways.

Oh, OK. No one needs to know then, right?

- No don't worry about it. - Thanks.

- Thanks, Beto. - Yeah, it's fine.

This gringo. What a pain.

Coming.

Hang yourself here. From the stairs. Suicide...

Beto!

Be careful.

Easy, easy.

Don't break it.

- I'm here. - Are you here?

I'm here at the plaza, bitch!

What took you so long? Here it is.

I don't wanna know anything about this anymore. OK?

I heard them talking about the police.

Be here at eight with the taxi.

- I'm counting on you. - OK!

What are you doing?

Yes, sir?

The gringo told me you're gossiping about

the conversations I'm having in private with my wife.

- I didn't say anything. - Why don't you stay in your lane?

Nosey.

Don't do this to me.

Lalo, you motherfucker.

Pick up, it's now or never man.

Why are you doing this to me?

Pick up!

It's very late.

Yes, I have a lot of work to do,

because of the construction.

Come, come.

You good?

Sebastián's brother comes so I wondering if you have a sheet to put on the sofa.

Chima, come here.

You don't look very good and are you OK is Mateo exploiting you?

You need help?

Yeah, I'm just a little tired.

I live far away.

- Takes two hours to get there. - Two hours?

I don't understand what you're saying.

I don't understand...

I have a pain inside here.

It's too painful.

What the fuck, dude?

- What did the gringo say? - That Sebastián's things are not here.

That his journals are... missing,

and that his brother Juan came,

and he said that Sebastián has gone missing before.

That he does this sometimes.

Wait, the phone and the journals were here yesterday, right?

Well, yes, I have the notebook, I have Seb's things.

I took them to give them to you.

You have the notebook and the cellphone?

Look at this, partner.

I found more illegal drugs.

It's ketamine. There's a lot more over here.

Nobody leaves here. You, come with me.

He has more drugs, right?

Officers, you need a warrant, right?

Sir, you need to calm down.

I'm calm, no?

You just don't have a warrant.

Where are the rest of the drugs?

Look at this. It's the poison.

Come with me.

Juan, they found an empty box...

of Pentobarbital in the garbage.

- But it doesn't have to... - Where are you going?

Give him some space please.

There are a lot of irregularities here.

This confirms the death by suicide theory.

But what about the drugs, sir?

Hey, this is a missing person case. It's not about the drugs.

Sir, these drugs are illegal.

We need to go to the station and file a report.

To the station?

Yes, to file a report.

Why are we talking about drugs?

The person who owns these drugs is not even here.

Why are you involving us in something that we have nothing to do with?

Give me a moment...

we'll work it out.

Can I talk to you, Vero?

Oh, Mr Mateo.

I'm really sorry for what's happening.

Do you have the keys to the building?

The keys?

Yes, the keys, please.

All of them.

Get out of here, you're fired.

Go.

OK, Sir, so tell us how we're going to work this out,

because we also need to see the construction permits.

This building looks very unsafe,

and that's how accidents happen, Sir.

What accidents? There's not even a construction here.

You're here because there is a missing person.

It has nothing to do with drugs, those drugs belong to the tenant.

So you saw Mateo take the journals and the phone?

Who cares about the fucking journal because Mr Sebas is dead,

and it was kind of my fault but it was an accident.

We were bringing down the couch,

it was very heavy and Mr Sebas was on the phone.

And I distracted him a little and he lost balance and he fell.

He fell bad and there he was with his head splattered,

some teeth even fell off,

and I wanted to call an ambulance

but the fucking ambulance was pointless

because Mr Sebastián was already dead.

I was scared

so I didn't call the police because

who knows what the police would do to me.

They wouldn't have believed me.

And now the young man is up on the rooftop, he's rotting.

And the other thing I did that I know is not right

was to put the box of Pentobarbital inside the trash can.

Here, I have the bottle.

The only thing I want is for this to be resolved.

For the family's peace of mind and well, nothing.

You can do whatever you want. Me, I don't know.