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1
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,669
I am going to kill you.
2
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,270
What? I haven't
even said the stuff yet
3
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,327
that might piss you off.
4
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:30,495
[gasps, yells]
5
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,168
- Ivy!
- [Joker sighs]
6
00:00:36,235 --> 00:00:39,206
Violence was the hallmark
of our relationship, too.
7
00:00:39,271 --> 00:00:42,509
Beth, you craving
Thai or Italian?
8
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,712
Hey! I don't know what I
did! I'm sure it's somethin'.
9
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,380
Let's just hash
this out like adults.
10
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:49,115
[gasps, squeals]
11
00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:52,185
[Kite Man] I gotcha!
12
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,820
So, missed you
at the dress fitting.
13
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,823
Kite Man, what the
fuck is happenin'?
14
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,100
- Also, hand.
- Uh... Oh, oh! Sorry.
15
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,435
- [Parademon screeching]
- Uh, turns out
16
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,661
Dr. Psycho is now,
like, all-powerful,
17
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,640
and has my forever
babe mind controlled.
18
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,174
[groans] Well, we won't
need to worry about Psycho
19
00:01:06,198 --> 00:01:07,176
after I kill him.
20
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,334
Oh, thank God!
21
00:01:08,358 --> 00:01:11,237
She's the love of my life,
and the wedding is tomorrow.
22
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,515
The wedding's happening, okay?
23
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:13,917
You didn't buy
that tux for nothin'.
24
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,751
I didn't buy it at
all. It's a rental.
25
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,387
Jesus, you are a grown man.
26
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,411
Just buy it, you're
gonna use it.
27
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:25,415
[people screaming]
28
00:01:31,156 --> 00:01:34,816
- [Parademons snarling]
- [Batman grunting]
29
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,765
[grunting]
30
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:47,474
One nest of Parademons,
coming right up!
31
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:51,891
Okay, that wasn't to anybody.
32
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:55,649
[Superman grunts]
33
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,584
[Wonder Woman grunts]
34
00:01:58,652 --> 00:01:59,920
I'll ask you this once.
35
00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:02,188
Where is Dr. Psycho?
36
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:03,522
[screeches]
37
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:07,359
Oh, what?
38
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,594
Because I'm an alien,
39
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,865
I understand all
alien languages?
40
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,800
Okay. I know a little Parademon,
41
00:02:13,866 --> 00:02:16,569
but it's still a racist
assumption. Be better.
42
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,941
[Dr. Psycho and
Riddler laughing]
43
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,876
Do the fish guy, do him.
44
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,812
[laughs] God! You're like Jaws
45
00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:26,612
if all ya ate was fat people.
46
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,882
Okay, what's your most
embarrassing moment?
47
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,283
[gasps] I thought
we were friends,
48
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:34,893
or at least coworkers with a
begrudging professional respect.
49
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,893
Nanaue, play nice
with your brother.
50
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,961
[young shark
struggling, grunting]
51
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,229
[whimpers]
52
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:45,707
[sniffs] Blood!
53
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:47,242
- [young shark screams]
- [bones crunching]
54
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:49,536
No! What are you doing?
55
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,371
That's your brother!
56
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,294
My lord!
57
00:02:53,318 --> 00:02:55,852
You devoured your kin
like an amuse-bouche!
58
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,476
Holy hell!
59
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,955
I thought we were gonna
see you crap your pants,
60
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,514
but that is dark, man.
61
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:07,287
Have you procured the
head of Harley Quinn?
62
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,555
Funny you should ask.
63
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,957
I am procuring as we speak.
64
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,992
Any minute now, her head
65
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,627
is gonna come
rolling through the door
66
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,430
like a bowling ball
with a bad dye job.
67
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,566
Ahem! Sorry to interrupt.
68
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,276
Um, apparently,
69
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,413
Batman and his super friends
destroyed the Parademons,
70
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,705
and are, um... [clears throat]
71
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,272
- Are coming here.
- Fuck!
72
00:03:26,338 --> 00:03:28,341
You express fear
and displeasure.
73
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:30,477
No! Everything's fine.
74
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,378
That was a happy "fuck."
75
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:34,814
It's a great word. You can
use it many different ways.
76
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,616
Like "Fuck, yeah!"
or, "Let's fuck."
77
00:03:36,682 --> 00:03:39,819
Harley Quinn swore
an oath to me and failed.
78
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,254
Now you have
sworn the same oath.
79
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:45,292
I shall appear at nightfall
to collect someone's head.
80
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,026
It is your choice whose.
81
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,662
No problem, no biggie!
82
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,965
Now, is that my nightfall
or where you are?
83
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,276
'Cause time zones across
planets and dimensions
84
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,978
are like wah, wah,
wah, wah, wah... okay.
85
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,368
[laughs triumphantly]
86
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,305
You've stepped
in it now, Psycho.
87
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,907
A big, fresh wet one!
88
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,675
♪ The Justice League
to the rescue! ♪
89
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,544
Huzzah!
90
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:06,545
No way that helmet's
powerful enough
91
00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:08,782
to control Superman's
funky alien brain.
92
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:11,494
♪ The Justice League
comes to get us ♪
93
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,096
♪ Free us all ♪
[continues vocalizing]
94
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,563
He might be right.
95
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:15,764
If the Justice League
reach the mall,
96
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,357
uh, game over.
97
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,060
Shut up, Debbie
Downer, it's not game over.
98
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,028
It's game on! Ha!
99
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,362
We got a new plan.
100
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,730
We're gonna kill Harley Quinn,
101
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,733
but first we gotta
kill the heroes.
102
00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:32,605
Kill the heroes, kill
Harley, rule Earth!
103
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,076
Welcome to the old
Kite-tress of solitude.
104
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,511
Sorry about the mess.
105
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:39,680
My, uh, roommate
leaves stuff everywhere.
106
00:04:39,745 --> 00:04:40,980
Psycho, that little shit.
107
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,482
Puts on a magic yarmulke
108
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,084
and now, he's doin'
Jedi mind tricks?
109
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,886
We need to destroy that helmet.
110
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,521
Uh, just a little caveat there.
111
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:49,822
Uh, we can't get close
or he'll put our domes
112
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,533
through the
brain-washing spin cycle.
113
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:52,759
I know. He did the same thing
114
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,060
to Clayface and King Shark.
115
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,862
The second they... Sy.
116
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,033
[sighs deeply] Sigh is right.
117
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:01,535
For my lady love
hath been led astray.
118
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,805
Not "sigh," dummy.
Sy. Sy Borgman.
119
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,783
Sy wasn't affected by
Psycho's mind control.
120
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,117
He was immune.
121
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,110
What the hell made
you so special, Sy?
122
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,879
[yelps] Zombie eye, zombie eye!
123
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,115
Wait, wait! My kite
senses are fluttering.
124
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,682
It's Morse Code!
125
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,651
- You know Morse Code?
- Of course!
126
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,519
Sailors and kiters
use signal lamps
127
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,889
to transmit Morse Code
without being detected.
128
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,059
I still sometimes
can't get over the fact
129
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,560
Ivy has sex with you.
130
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,461
[suggestively] Oh, she does.
131
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,764
Look, the eye is saying...
132
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,733
Plug... me... in.
133
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,500
What does it mean?
134
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,406
Ta-da!
135
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,641
Oh, well, okay, right.
136
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,677
Sy, you're a zombie robot ghost!
137
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,978
N-n-n-none, none
of the above, baby!
138
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,694
I just got a classic case of
139
00:05:47,718 --> 00:05:50,759
the human consciousness-
transferred-into- the-machine-it is.
140
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:52,339
There was a whole chapter on it
141
00:05:52,363 --> 00:05:54,596
in my robot b-b-b-body
handbook I didn't read.
142
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:55,899
Sy, we don't have a lot of time.
143
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:56,966
Listen, why weren't you affected
144
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,024
by Psycho's mind control?
145
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,127
Because the C-C-C-Commies!
146
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,829
CIA wanted to make sure
the Ruskies didn't flip me
147
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,406
into a Manchurian candidate
148
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,942
and/or president
of the United States.
149
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,968
They used cutting-edge
t-t-technology
150
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,137
to create an anti-mind
control device
151
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,838
and jammed it in
my n-n-n-noggin.
152
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,541
Can you tell us how
to make that device?
153
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,911
Sure! Easy-p-p-peasy
on my metal neezy.
154
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,456
- Oh, thank God!
- We're coming, Ivy.
155
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,091
[Sy] All you need
is magnetic coating
156
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,826
- from a floppy disk...
- Huh.
157
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,928
- The photodiodes of a VHS tape...
- [groans]
158
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:29,488
And an 8-track recording of The
Monkees' D-D-D-Daydream Believer.
159
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,591
Say we couldn't
get those things...
160
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:34,093
[Sy] Well, then, it's gonna
take a little elbow grease.
161
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,161
[indistinct roaring]
162
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,603
Oh, my God!
Superman's gonna kill Ivy!
163
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,206
Wasn't he trapped in a book?
164
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:47,175
- Who let Superman out of the book?
- [disappointed sigh]
165
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,976
[Riddler] Are you
sure you've got this?
166
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,819
I mean, there's
still time to flee.
167
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,444
You've seen these calves.
168
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,081
Stop showing me your
weird turkey leg calves.
169
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,149
I'm not gonna fuck you.
170
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,759
If you wanna go, go.
171
00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:59,685
But don't show up
tomorrow when this is over
172
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,923
and still expect me to
let you rule Scandinavia.
173
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,524
I know you got a type.
174
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,125
Fine, fine, I'll stay.
175
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,836
Ah! It's just so pretty there.
176
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,271
Everything looks
like a fairy tale.
177
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,997
- [Dr. Psycho] Mmm.
- Ow! God!
178
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,699
Ivy, stand down.
179
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:15,535
[Wonder Woman
and Superman grunt]
180
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,822
Still got it, baby.
181
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:26,488
Hey... I know I'm
more of a wordplay guy,
182
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,949
but, mathematically,
I don't like your odds.
183
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,716
Don't get your onesie in a wad.
184
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,651
I got a couple of
things up my sleeve.
185
00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,553
Two very short arms?
186
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,999
God damn it, I
was trying to think
187
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,701
of a really cool Wesley
Snipes-style one liner
188
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:40,026
and you had to
go... Wesley Snipes?
189
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,519
When's the last time
you saw a fucking movie?
190
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:46,699
Poison Ivy, we know that you're
under Dr. Psycho's mind control.
191
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,976
So I give you this
warning. I, Kal-El, do say...
192
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,538
We don't want to
have to take you out
193
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,740
but if you don't give us
another option, we will.
194
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,175
That's what he was getting to.
195
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,781
Don't worry, the
shark hates violence
196
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,548
and the lump of
clay is harmless.
197
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,716
[yells] Blood!
198
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,725
Okay, I did not, uh... yeah.
199
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,060
Uh. Come on, come on!
200
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,129
I'm Kite Man! Not Soldering Man!
201
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,999
I know Soldering Man,
but he's in Milwaukee.
202
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,976
No, I said connect
the thingamajig
203
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,012
to the w-w-what's-ya-call-it,
not the whose-it-what's-it!
204
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,547
I don't know how to do this!
205
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,773
Kites are electricity-free.
I went to Oberlin!
206
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,108
Well, unless you figure it out,
207
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,752
the person I love -is gonna die!
- What?
208
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,054
As a friend. The friend I love,
209
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,246
as a friend, is gonna die!
210
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,682
Okay, 'cause that
sounded intense.
211
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,884
I'm Harley Quinn, I'm
impetuous, I kiss people. Muah!
212
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,287
Oh-ho! Hoochie mama!
213
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,855
What is happening?
214
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,756
Okay. You know
what? I can't wait around
215
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,192
until you graduate from
DeVry! I'm goin' to save Ivy.
216
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,261
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
217
00:08:47,285 --> 00:08:49,739
that is a sophisticated
piece of cloth and wood.
218
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,898
It took years of
training with my sen...
219
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,900
And she is soaring majestically.
220
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,336
- [roaring]
- [Batman grunts]
221
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,023
[Wonder Woman grunts]
222
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:11,331
[Wonder Woman grunts]
223
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,356
[King Shark grunts]
224
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:18,924
[Superman straining]
225
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:23,991
Get off me, you angry
dolphin. Get off me!
226
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:33,182
- [glass shattering]
- [metal crunching]
227
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,208
- [Wonder Woman grunts]
- [Poison Ivy exclaims]
228
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:37,043
Wait, wait! Did I tell you?
229
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:40,047
Ivy and I basically spent
her whole bachelorette party
230
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,014
saving Themyscira
from Lex Luthor?
231
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,561
Clear the area, clown.
232
00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:45,784
Otherwise, I can't be
responsible for your safety.
233
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,322
[both grunt]
234
00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:49,389
[pants]
235
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,124
Damn it, Harley!
236
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,326
[King Shark sniffing]
237
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:55,337
Blood!
238
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:56,397
[King Shark growls]
239
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:58,130
[Wonder Woman grunts]
240
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,799
[Batman groaning] Harley!
241
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,101
Are you shittin' me, Clayface?
242
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,171
You could change
into this at any time
243
00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:07,006
and chose ditzy
co-eds and divorcees?
244
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,174
[Clayface roars]
245
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:11,344
[Superman grunts]
246
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,249
You realize the Man of Steel
247
00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:17,884
isn't just a clever
nickname, right?
248
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,352
Ive, you gotta snap out of it
249
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:24,070
or they're gonna kill... [yelps]
250
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:32,226
- [Superman grunts]
- [Poison Ivy screams]
251
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,677
[Harley] Ugh. Homeboy's gotta
upgrade to jet pack or somethin'.
252
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,879
[Clayface roaring]
253
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,023
[King Shark roaring]
254
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,162
[King Shark roaring]
255
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:13,940
[King Shark yelps, grunts]
256
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,445
- [roars]
- [metal clangs]
257
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,246
[gasps]
258
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,182
[grunts]
259
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,620
[Clayface roaring]
260
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,164
[beeping]
261
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,900
[Clayface roars]
262
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,525
[snaps]
263
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,120
[grunts] Ive, there you are.
264
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,221
Oh, wow, you rocked Superman.
265
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,265
Anyway, listen,
266
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,013
I know the real you
is in there somewhere.
267
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,101
Well, that's new.
268
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,503
[Harley screams]
269
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,010
[sighs]
270
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,248
I guess Poison Ivy
should've... hedged her bet.
271
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,450
Hmm.
272
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,932
[grapple gun firing]
273
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,125
Okie d-d-d-dokie,
that should do it.
274
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,561
Give her a whirl, Mr. Kite Man.
275
00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:43,139
[device whirrs, beeps]
276
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,923
- [electricity crackling]
- [Kite Man grunts]
277
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,333
- Sy?
- [static]
278
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,937
Oh, frick, I killed him.
279
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,306
[Sy] No way, Jose!
280
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,307
Synet is online!
281
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,975
Where are you?
282
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,211
[Sy] Hey. Let's build this
anti-mind-control device
283
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,547
and then if there's time,
we'll make some fresh pasta.
284
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,264
Hell, yeah!
285
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,955
[Harley] Oh, great!
Gang's all here.
286
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,224
We don't need to settle this
with violence. You know...
287
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,025
Hmm. That's a personal first.
288
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,294
Quinn's right. Wayne Tower
has seen enough damage.
289
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,895
And I believe a metahuman battle
290
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,131
falls outside Mr. Wayne's
insurance coverage.
291
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,201
He's a friend, I'm just saying.
292
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,217
[Harley grunts]
293
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,341
[Poison Ivy grunts]
294
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,513
Bats, you got her all tied up.
295
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,447
Leave her alone
and go stop Psycho.
296
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,849
I'm sorry, Harley.
297
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,250
She's too dangerous.
298
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,586
She needs to be taken down.
299
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,496
She could escape
and kill thousands
300
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,355
before Dr. Psycho
is neutralized.
301
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,258
I can't let you kill her.
302
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,669
I love her more than
anything in this whole world.
303
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,270
I'm not gonna kill her.
304
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:51,139
I'm just gonna put her
in the phantom zone
305
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,509
where she'll rest
for all of eternity.
306
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:53,600
Then, send me there, too!
307
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,101
Uh, all right.
308
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,647
Wow, this is so dramatic.
309
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,440
It's like a CW show,
310
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,140
if the cast was less hot.
311
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,277
Yeah, you guys are right.
Ivy's too dangerous to...
312
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,375
To be left alive.
313
00:14:04,399 --> 00:14:06,690
You should have killed her when
you had the chance. Because now?
314
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:09,649
You're right where I want you.
315
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,485
[Wonder Woman gasps, coughs]
316
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:15,538
[gasps]
317
00:14:20,628 --> 00:14:22,928
Wonder Woman, you look bangin'.
318
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:23,976
- What?
- Batman,
319
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,408
are those pecs real or is it
just the suit? [chuckles playfully]
320
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,467
Gross.
321
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,669
These pecs are definitely real.
322
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,339
Give them a grab. Don't be shy.
323
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,107
Oh, gross. Did you just spray
them with Ivy's love pheromones?
324
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:38,479
Maybe we should see
what's under these costumes.
325
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,946
[Wonder Woman chuckles]
326
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,557
Or not. A lot of
not. Please, not!
327
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,058
[Superman laughs] You know
I can see through that, right?
328
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,250
[gasps, yelps]
329
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,332
[distant whistling]
330
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:51,533
[Riddler and
Dr. Psycho laughing]
331
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,193
Yes! The heroes are defeated!
332
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,629
Ivy's bringing me Harley,
333
00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:57,498
my ramen takeout's almost here,
334
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,566
and the Earth is
about to be mine!
335
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:03,068
I'm the most powerful
person on the fucking planet!
336
00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:04,779
[Dr. Psycho] Ahhh!
337
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:07,341
I've returned to collect
what is owed to me.
338
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,543
Where is Harley Quinn?
339
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,279
[Dr. Psycho] Yeah.
So, it's mostly gadgets
340
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,291
like drones and
scented alarm clocks.
341
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,993
The kind of stuff you
find in the sky mall.
342
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,461
And who is Orange Julius?
343
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,486
[Riddler laughs]
344
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,621
- She's here.
- See?
345
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,557
Harley Quinn, as promised.
346
00:15:23,624 --> 00:15:26,259
Psycho, release me,
you tiny, giant asshole!
347
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,504
Shut up.
348
00:15:27,528 --> 00:15:29,363
Kill her now and
I shall call forth
349
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,298
the armies of Apokolips
350
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,467
to enslave this planet
as we agreed upon.
351
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,602
Choose not to
and it's your head.
352
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,605
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blah, blah, blah.
353
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,015
Cool your jets, Big D.
354
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,650
I have been thinking
about something,
355
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,410
I'm more than just a "rule
Earth" kind of guy, all right?
356
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,413
I could rule solar
systems for you,
357
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,081
goddamn galaxies.
358
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,025
[chuckles] Unlikely.
359
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,629
Listen, I get it, I get it.
360
00:15:51,653 --> 00:15:54,230
You probably think I'm just
a run-of-the-mill supervillain
361
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,797
but I got that charisma,
362
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:59,225
that je ne sais quoi that you're
looking for in a right-hand man.
363
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:02,361
Let me show ya. I'm
about to do something epic!
364
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,663
- Explain.
- [device beeps]
365
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,231
You see the living
weed over there?
366
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,466
That right there is Poison Ivy.
367
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,169
Let me give you some backstory.
368
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,072
Harley, I made the
anti-mind control device.
369
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,206
Well, actually Sy
turned into a cake mixer
370
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,643
and he made it... It's
kind of a funny story...
371
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,345
that we don't have time for.
372
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,413
We only had materials
for two of these bad boys.
373
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,783
Put the other in Ivy's ear
if my plan doesn't work.
374
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,784
This is the plan.
375
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,052
What the hell is your plan?
376
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,254
True love.
377
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,691
Pamela Isley. It's me. Chuck.
378
00:16:30,758 --> 00:16:32,192
What is a "Chuck"?
379
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,761
Ivy, I'm your fiancé.
Your soulmate.
380
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,197
I believe our love is so
powerful, that when I kiss you,
381
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,466
it will break Psycho's spell.
382
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:44,182
Because true love conquers all.
383
00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:49,342
[grunts]
384
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:52,412
As I was saying, Ivy and
Harley are best friends.
385
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,323
So it's gonna be very poetic
386
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,451
when Harley is killed
not only by her friend...
387
00:16:57,518 --> 00:17:00,253
but her secret lover!
388
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,355
You know?
389
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,123
Of course I fucking know!
390
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,291
You think I'm going
to mind control Ivy
391
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,126
and not read her mind?
392
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,063
You don't buy a Ferrari
and leave it in the garage!
393
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,832
We are not secret lovers!
394
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,619
It was a couple times
and it was amazing
395
00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:15,477
and Ivy broke it off and
I'm totally cool with it!
396
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,070
Enough! Stop trying
to lower the stakes.
397
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,540
Hey. Pitting two lovers
against each other,
398
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,241
like I said, epic.
399
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:26,512
I am mildly intrigued
by evil usurping love.
400
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,249
Oh, look at the big
words on Darkseid.
401
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,851
Someone did well on their SATs.
402
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,286
Ive, we love each other
too much to do this! [Grunts]
403
00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:36,723
[laughs evilly]
404
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,492
[Harley grunts]
405
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,863
[sighs] Don't make me hurt you.
406
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,432
[grunting]
407
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,799
Okay, don't make
me hurt you again.
408
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,646
- [grunts]
- [bat clatters]
409
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,182
[straining, grunting]
410
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,452
[laughs] Isn't this great?
411
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,188
Friends fighting to the death.
412
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,356
I mean, this is the stuff
that gets you off, right?
413
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,260
[both grunting]
414
00:18:16,864 --> 00:18:18,330
[grunting]
415
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,602
[Harley straining]
416
00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:28,070
- [grunts]
- [device clatters]
417
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,378
Yes! Kill her! Kill Harley!
418
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:37,445
[straining] Here...
goes... true... love...
419
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:44,825
Okay! Mr. Johnson's
up! Girl on girl. So hot.
420
00:18:45,893 --> 00:18:48,528
Holy shit. True love worked.
421
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,430
What are you, 13?
422
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,165
Psycho, focus.
[snaps fingers] Focus!
423
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:57,604
Fine. I command you
to kill Harley Quinn.
424
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,642
[grunting] Uh, come on!
425
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,411
And I command you to ess my vee.
426
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,846
"Ess my vee"?
427
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:07,647
[Dr. Psycho grunts]
What the fuck?
428
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,349
[groans] What the
hell is going on?
429
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,551
Guess you ain't as strong
as you thought, Psycho.
430
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:13,921
You're not an A-lister.
431
00:19:13,988 --> 00:19:15,588
Just a goon with
delusions of grandeur.
432
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,723
Have you failed me, human?
433
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,560
No! You think I need
Ivy to kill her? Come on.
434
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,265
I'll kill both of 'em. I
am an all-powerful man!
435
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:28,209
- Come and get me!
- [both] Sure.
436
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,646
- [Dr. Psycho grunts]
- [objects clatter]
437
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:31,471
You're not
all-powerful, douchebag.
438
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,840
You're just a loser who
puts on a hat to look cool.
439
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,351
Basically, everyone on Tinder.
440
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,576
Yeah a lot of hats on Tinder.
441
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,286
- A lot of hats.
- Oh!
442
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,656
Oh! It's good to have
my very bitter friend back.
443
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,347
It's over for ya, buddy!
444
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:42,782
[grunts]
445
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,651
- [electricity crackles]
- [Dr. Psycho groans]
446
00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:46,752
Harley Quinn!
447
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,556
[nervously] Hi,
Mr. Darkseid, sir.
448
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,668
I'm really sorry about bringing
those Parademons to Earth
449
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,302
and not using them.
450
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,271
See, I was doing it for
the wrong reasons and...
451
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,597
You have proved yourself even
more formidable than I thought.
452
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,867
- The deal stands.
- "The deal"?
453
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,702
On your command...
454
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,546
- [device beeps] - my
armies shall spring forth
455
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:05,940
and enslave the planet.
456
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:08,976
The Earth is yours,
Harley Quinn.
457
00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:13,313
Thanks, but no thanks.
458
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,248
Psycho, the creep
that he is, he was right.
459
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,617
I don't wanna rule Earth
on a throne of skulls.
460
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,497
I'm not a real supervillain.
461
00:20:19,521 --> 00:20:21,721
Hell, I'm not sure I'm
even a bad guy anymore.
462
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,355
All I've been doing is reacting.
463
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,692
Getting in the Legion of
Doom to show up Joker.
464
00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:27,661
Stopping the Injustice
League to get revenge.
465
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:29,596
It's 'cause, deep inside,
466
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:31,932
I didn't know what I
really wanted, until now.
467
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:35,701
Your indecision
baffles and angers me.
468
00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:37,746
For this, I shall return one day
469
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,874
and terraform your
planet into a scrapyard.
470
00:20:40,941 --> 00:20:42,819
Well, that seems ominous.
471
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:45,011
All right, pop back
in your Boom Tube.
472
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,548
Darkseid is... leaving.
473
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,053
Ivy, you call me
out on all my bullshit,
474
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,697
but you don't judge me for it.
475
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,364
We have fun whether
we're sitting on the couch
476
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:58,424
or murdering a group
of investment bankers.
477
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,994
You showed me what the
best version of myself could be
478
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:02,663
and you held me to it.
479
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,407
I'm in love with you.
480
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,066
I want to be with you.
481
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:09,336
And, yes, it might be
messy. It might not work.
482
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,006
It might even destroy
our friendship forever.
483
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,807
But love is a risk.
484
00:21:13,874 --> 00:21:15,206
I'd rather risk our friendship
485
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,943
than pretend these
feelings aren't real.
486
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,679
You just, you don't
give up on love.
487
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,013
Take a risk,
488
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,682
take a leap of faith,
and be with me.
489
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,050
[Kite Man groans]
490
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,086
Hey, did my kiss work?
491
00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:27,688
Where am I?
492
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,423
[Dr. Psycho laughs maniacally]
493
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,925
We're laughing?
Are we friends again?
494
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,504
What is so funny?
495
00:21:34,528 --> 00:21:36,630
Aw, man, I hate
missing inside jokes!
496
00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:39,967
Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you.
497
00:21:40,034 --> 00:21:41,367
[Dr. Psycho screams]
498
00:21:44,038 --> 00:21:45,672
[laughs maniacally]
499
00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:47,374
[Poison Ivy and Harley moaning]
500
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:50,777
Whoa!
501
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,012
Oh, this is gonna
affect the crew dynamic
502
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:56,348
in a messy and
complicated manner.
503
00:21:56,415 --> 00:22:00,452
I already had a feeling.
The tension was palpable.
504
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,523
[laughs] She's still limber.
505
00:22:07,094 --> 00:22:09,528
[Dr. Psycho grunting]
506
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:11,097
Ooh! I need a cigarette.
507
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,365
[groans]
508
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:18,770
Um...
36664
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