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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,002
? dramatic theme playing ?
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,006
?
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,342
? gentle music playing ?
4
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,510
Aw, man, Hamsterdam?
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,345
Oh, shit!
You owe me a million dollars
6
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,222
because there's a bunch
of Dutch Hamsters who live there.
7
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,474
How the fuck are you winning
in Monopoly: The Wire Edition
8
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,808
when you've never watched the show?
9
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,435
Why don't you bitch
at your pewter McNutty,
10
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,270
that's what keeps landing you
on shitty spots.
11
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,563
Come on, gimme an eight,
12
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:25,154
get me to that bar where
the dock workers drank eggs.
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,610
Double dang it! Hamsterdam again?
14
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,695
Welcome to hell, Jessica! Ha ha ha ha!
15
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,988
Now pay up, you little delinquent!
16
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,824
But I don't have any money left! Argh!
17
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,371
I hate this stupid game.
There's too much pressure!
18
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,455
[coughs, gags]
19
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,506
[both gasp]
20
00:00:40,826 --> 00:00:42,875
[thuds]
21
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,586
[all gasp]
Is that a White Goobler?
22
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,005
This is a huge development.
23
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,846
I'm about to win a board game
for the first time ever.
24
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,177
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
25
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,138
until the asteroid hit.
26
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:58,307
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
27
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,017
and escaped into the... space,
28
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,728
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
29
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,938
We crashed on Earth,
30
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,982
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
31
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,900
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
32
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,151
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
33
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,903
My name is Korvo.
This is my show.
34
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,238
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
35
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,365
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
36
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,408
It's a horrible home.
37
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,993
People are stupid and confusing.
38
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,578
They have a restaurant called Applebee's,
39
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,038
and they don't call
their appetizers apple-tizers.
40
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,164
That's bullshit!
41
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,294
? dramatic music playing ?
42
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,713
[goobler moans]
43
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,299
Dear God, how did you cough up
such a gross goobler?
44
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,967
I didn't even know
we could make white ones.
45
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,802
It's the same size
as the Red Goobler was.
46
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,929
Wait a minute, are you going
to say "get fucked"
47
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,181
and try to kill us?
48
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,683
Oh, no, I don't want
to be a burden, you know?
49
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,185
I can't be a teen mom.
50
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,978
I don't even have a neck tattoo!
51
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,062
This doesn't make any sense.
52
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,023
Why would Jesse and I
make off-color gooblers
53
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,899
and not you two?
54
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,358
Because we're superior in every-
55
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,903
Oh, shit, wait a minute.
56
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,613
[goobler grumbles]
57
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,824
Totally forgot that I coughed up
a lavender goobler last week.
58
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,326
- Was I supposed to report that?
- Yes!
59
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,536
My Red Goobler is still out there
plotting to kill me.
60
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,829
These things could be dangerous!
61
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,623
Hm, doesn't seem dangerous.
62
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,125
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it right there.
63
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,835
Give it to me. Papa like.
64
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,087
This must be a Romance Goobler,
65
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,672
because I'm such a romantic and shit.
66
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,633
That's a freaky little
shithead horny goobler,
67
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,467
and you fucking know it.
68
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,261
So we all have new gooblers
except Terry?
69
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,387
How does that make sense?
70
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,390
We're, uh, supposed
to report weird gooblers, huh?
71
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,184
Don't tell me you coughed one up too!
72
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,060
I did not.
73
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,520
Well, thank our Shlorpian gods-
74
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,438
- I made five.
- What?
75
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,440
Terry's gooblers, sound off!
76
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,193
- Klepto Goobler.
- Criterion Disk Goobler.
77
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,028
[groans] Envy Goobler.
78
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,154
Babe-yyyy Goobler
79
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,949
'cause Terry loves saying
"babe-yyy," babe-yyy.
80
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,991
Kimmy Goobler.
81
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,952
I re-watched all
of Full House three times
82
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,411
and then barfed that little chiclet up.
83
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,246
Geez, guys.
84
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,623
Why are we making all these
colorful goobs right now?
85
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,291
Well, that's a dumb question, Jessica.
86
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,752
You're acting like you don't know anything
about Shlorpian anatomy.
87
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,547
Obviously, every 100,000 times
we stress out and goobler,
88
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,923
one big red one shows up.
89
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,049
But, none of these are red.
90
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,884
Alright, fine, I don't know
what the fuck is going on either.
91
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,011
Everyone grab your gooblers
and let's go ask AISHA.
92
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,805
Fucking hate it when we have
to go ask the ship stuff,
93
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,265
makes us look like such dummies.
94
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,558
LAVENDER GOOBLER:
[grunts] Ooh, yeah.
95
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,977
? ethereal music playing ?
96
00:03:04,978 --> 00:03:07,728
Pupa! How do you keep getting
your paws on Starbursts?
97
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,314
You know those kiwi banana ones
give you the Tron nightmares.
98
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,941
Have you ever thought that,
like, instead of indulging
99
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,235
in these long, needlessly
complicated schemes
100
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,903
to get candy or Harry Potter whistles,
101
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,822
that maybe you could use
that big-ass Pupa brain
102
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,156
to make the world a better place?
103
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,117
Yeah, Pupa, the satisfaction you get
104
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,287
from making the world a better place
would taste way better
105
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,206
than any old Starbursts.
106
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,832
AISHA:
Alright, dummies,
107
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,168
get ready to learn
some Shlorpian 101.
108
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,755
[projector ticking]
[countdown beeping]
109
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:36,340
SHLORPIAN NARRATOR:
The Shlorpian body is designed
110
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,969
to remove excess emotional buildup
by emitting gooblers:
111
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,262
small, dancing creatures
112
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,599
which hold your unwanted chemicals
in their bellies.
113
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,100
The gooblers are emitted
114
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,561
and then will dance
their adorable little jig
115
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,562
until they die.
116
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,815
However, if a Shlorpian has
too many negative emotions,
117
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:56,569
the Goobler system will produce
a Super Goobler.
118
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,946
Larger, meaner, smarter:
119
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,991
the Super Goobler is designed
to eliminate the Shlorpian
120
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,534
with emotional problems,
121
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,578
removing them from the terraforming team,
122
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,330
ultimately protecting the mission.
123
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,457
Get fucked!
124
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,583
SHLORPIAN NARRATOR:
If you make a Super Goobler,
125
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,585
it's best to allow it to kill you
126
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,423
so the rest of your team
can dine on your body for nutrients.
127
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,635
Wait, so all of these little guys
are gonna grow up to kill us?
128
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,803
Well, that can't be right.
Mine was a stress goobler.
129
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,055
These are all too nice.
130
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,682
When I get bigger,
I'm gonna fuck you up, babe-yyy!
131
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,059
[all goobers clamoring]
132
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,060
Gooble.
133
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,979
[Solars scream]
134
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,648
Those Super Gooblers are creepy as fuck.
135
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,482
We gotta do something.
136
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,068
I kinda wanna figure out
what my goobler even is
137
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,486
before we do anything.
138
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,530
What emotion was I having too much of?
139
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:43,074
Being a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day?
140
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,785
Th-this is probably a bad pitch,
but maybe it'll get us going.
141
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,037
What about if we throw them
in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut?
142
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,539
Okay, that's the plan to beat.
143
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,331
Yes!
144
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,208
Building off of what
Yumyulack just said,
145
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,960
we should put them in garbage bags
146
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,212
before we throw them in the dumpster
behind Pizza Hut.
147
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,173
Hmm, I'm liking this area a lot.
Now get to grabbing.
148
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,801
I want to have them in that dumpster
before they start stabbing us.
149
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,596
[gooblers clamoring, screaming]
150
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,265
[gooblers thudding]
151
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,350
? dramatic music playing ?
152
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,186
Ah! Don't put me in the bag!
Sweet cheese!
153
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,771
Oh, little Kimmy.
154
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,357
Korvo, stop! I changed my mind!
I can't kill my gooblers.
155
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,191
What? Why not?
156
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,568
Because they're like
my children, dammit,
157
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,569
and they're so cute
158
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,987
and they aren't trying
to murder anyone yet!
159
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,988
They will soon enough!
160
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,407
Ah, I don't want to kill mine either.
161
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,284
Just look at that pelvic definition.
162
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,953
You know, maybe some of them
can turn their lives around
163
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,288
with a little love and attention.
164
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,622
The crystal just fucking told us
165
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,083
if we don't do something, they'll grow up
and then kill our asses.
166
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,294
Death by goobler
is such a lowbrow way to die.
167
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:39,547
Light bulb, we can ship them off
to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga
168
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,465
for Miscellaneous Beasts
and Where to Abandon Them.
169
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,384
Making something stupid up
won't help, Terry.
170
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,094
I know, but this time
I'm telling the truth.
171
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,347
It's a no-kill rescue ranch
owned by Priceline's Kaley Cuoco.
172
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,224
It's where I've been sending
all of Yumyulack's snakes.
173
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,058
They're alive?
174
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,518
You told me you were
chopping off their heads
175
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,021
and leaving them on the sidewalk
as a warning to other snakes.
176
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,105
That's such great news!
177
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,899
Terry, ya fucking nailed it.
This is the plan.
178
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,775
Everyone, pack your shit
and meet me at the car.
179
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,944
- It's time for the-
- Wait, wait, wait! Can I say it? Please!
180
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,446
Please can I say it? Please?
181
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,781
- Korvo, please!
- Sure, my guy. Go for it.
182
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,035
The Solar Opposites
are going on a road trip!
183
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,661
Yeah, babe-yyy!
184
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,872
[horn honking]
185
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,416
All aboard the Terry's Super Famous
Almost Famous Bus!
186
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,544
Fasten your seatbelts 'cause
Daddy Terry tricked out this bus
187
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,672
in the theme of his favorite
road trip movie, Speed!
188
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,925
If we go under 50, we explode!
189
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,094
Remember? Remember Dennis Hopper's
got that little fucked-up hand?
190
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,221
[explosion booms]
191
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,765
[metal clattering]
192
00:06:29,766 --> 00:06:31,224
[horn honks]
193
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,226
Okay, this time Daddy got us
a regular bus
194
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,394
with almost no bombs, babe-yyy!!
195
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,022
Yeah, babe-yyy!
196
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,274
? rock music playing ?
197
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,319
?
198
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,237
[woman screams]
199
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,155
[engine revving]
200
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,284
?
201
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:57,074
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com
202
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,218
[plasma gun fires]
203
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,879
[Solars and gooblers laughing, cheering]
204
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,674
? rock music playing ?
205
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,760
Psst, hey, Yum, what do you think
my goobler is?
206
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,637
Maybe it's like a sweet goobler
or something?
207
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,265
Jess-ica, your goobler is
a goobler for sucking!
208
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,559
It takes up a bunch of space,
and it's a deadweight piece of shit
209
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,561
with nothing to offer the world
and everybody hates it.
210
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,229
Oh, okay. Maybe that's it.
211
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,231
Will you stop playing
with that gun, you little shit.
212
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,622
[gunshot]
[Korvo shouts]
213
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:30,032
JESSE: The satisfaction you get
from making the world a better place
214
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,495
would taste way better
than any old Starbursts.
215
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,877
I don't care how many geese
drowned in the black tar
216
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,170
off the coast of Santa Barbara,
217
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,839
I want my oil rigs
up and running by tomorrow
218
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,967
or your adopted orphans can starve!
219
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,344
Oh, Jesus Christ. You can't have
next week off, Alice.
220
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,346
I don't care what stage your cancer is in.
221
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,931
Yes, Miss Brandy.
222
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:54,982
[sobs]
223
00:07:55,403 --> 00:07:57,685
? dramatic sting ?
[shouts]
224
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,896
What the fuck
are you supposed to be?
225
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,897
Get out of here!
226
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:01,856
Cocomelon.
227
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,858
Cocom- uh-
What are you talking about?
228
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:04,984
I said get out!
229
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,444
[vase shatters]
230
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,905
? dramatic music playing ?
231
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,956
[door slams]
232
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,826
- PUPA: Cocomelon.
- Ah!
233
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,163
Oh, my God!
What do you want?
234
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,624
? rock music playing ?
235
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,502
?
236
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,879
[yawns]
Only 14 more hours to the ranch
237
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,089
and I get to meet Kaley.
238
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,216
Wait a minute, something's missing.
239
00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:32,011
One, two, four, five. Oh, fuck,
where's my Klepto Goobler?
240
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,138
Maybe we left him
at the local Scottish food place
241
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:34,931
we stopped at.
242
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,682
- You mean McDonald's?
- Fuck!
243
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,310
He's probably still there,
stealing all the McFlurry toppings.
244
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,645
- We have to go back.
- No, Terry!
245
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,521
We're already running late
246
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,523
because we spent so much time
in the McPlayPlace.
247
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,399
I think my goobler's getting bigger?
248
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,817
How could you lose your gooblers?
249
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,444
That's the whole point of this road trip!
250
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,113
All I'm sayin' is,
you bring a motherfucker to a PlayPlace,
251
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,532
motherfucker gonna play.
252
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,159
[water sloshing]
253
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,369
[door opens, closes]
254
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,957
? dramatic music playing ?
255
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,999
- Cocomelon?
- Jesus, shit!
256
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,251
Okay, y-you're not real.
257
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,460
Y-you're just a side effect
258
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,629
of my Goop ayahuasca vaginal gummy crowns.
259
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,090
I-I-I'm just gonna take some
of my rhino horn pills
260
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,467
that only rich people have,
and you'll go away.
261
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,738
[pills rattle]
[gulps]
262
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,138
- Cocomelon.
- Ah! You know what, fuck this!
263
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,182
How dare you sit there judging me
264
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,475
with your Cookie Monster eyes?
265
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,686
- Cocomelon.
- You can't judge me.
266
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,273
Only my lovers can judge me
because that's what gets me off.
267
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,524
I choose loneliness
268
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,401
because I've been in love before,
and it sucks.
269
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,485
Cocomelon.
270
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,904
One minute you're happy
living in suburban Kansas City
271
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,698
and the next your lover's in Clueless,
272
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,950
then goes on to have
a 30-year acting career
273
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,368
- and never ages!
- Cocomelon!
274
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,121
Shut up! I am done with you!
275
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,834
[toilet flushes]
276
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,381
[Brandy gasps]
277
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,257
Cocomelon.
278
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,009
[Brandy screams]
279
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,679
? rock music playing ?
280
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:03,937
?
281
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,441
? uplifting music playing ?
282
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,234
[gasps] Oh, my God!
Is that Kaley Cuoco?
283
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,986
No, wait, this lady only has one ear.
284
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,237
Kaley has two ears!
285
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,698
What the fuck? I want
to abandon my animals with Kaley!
286
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,993
I'm Kaley Cuoco's stunt double,
Kwelly Cloakawoko.
287
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:22,163
I lost my ear when Sheldon's homemade
Green Lantern ring exploded
288
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,372
on the Big Bang set.
289
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,627
Welcome to Kaley Cuoco's
Rancho Cuocomonga!
290
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,629
Let's get these
deformed creatures settled,
291
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,089
and I'll give you the tour!
292
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,718
We take all the fucked-up animals
no one else wants to touch:
293
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,013
ligers, middle-aged wolves,
albino pythons.
294
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,972
YUMYULACK:
My snakes!
295
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,850
Anaconor and Lahissa,
you're thriving!
296
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,227
What would you guys like to abandon?
297
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,103
We have several customizable packages
298
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,273
ranging from $29.99 to $8.57 million.
299
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,026
I'm sure you get this a lot,
we have half a dozen Super Gooblers
300
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,861
that'll eventually kill us
so, you know,
301
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,531
gotta ditch them with you
before the stabby-stabby begins.
302
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,407
A half dozen? You mean these two?
303
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,243
No, we- Oh, shit!
304
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,119
Jesse, your goobler got fat as fuck!
305
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,204
Why didn't you say anything?
306
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,497
I did, on the bus!
307
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,582
Next time speak up, Messica!
308
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,001
If you weren't part of my mission,
I would abandon you here too.
309
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,254
[Jesse groans]
310
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,296
? gentle music playing ?
311
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,465
This is our largest enclosure.
312
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,217
Your strange creatures should be as happy
313
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,052
as an abandoned animal can ever be here.
314
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,428
[bear growls]
315
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,555
Go on, little guy.
316
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:24,393
You can romance the fuck out
of whatever you want in there.
317
00:11:24,394 --> 00:11:25,768
Wait!
318
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,186
Jesse, these things
are going to turn on us,
319
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,355
can we wrap it up?
320
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,773
I just need to know what you are.
321
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,650
What emotion do I have too much of?
322
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,736
Who cares! Get the fuck in there,
you stupid goobler.
323
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,571
[door closes]
324
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,407
Phew, finally, a goobler situation
that doesn't end
325
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,826
in me getting stabbed
or having sex in a casino.
326
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,578
Bye, White Goobler.
327
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,037
You guys must be tired.
328
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,707
You can stay here for the night
in our The Flight Attendant suite
329
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,835
and relax with a post-abandonment cup
of hot Cuoco.
330
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,588
Ew, do you have to say it that way?
331
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,173
? dramatic music playing ?
332
00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:56,299
That's my ledge,
333
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,426
and I didn't give you permission
to perch there.
334
00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,218
Cocomelon?
335
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,261
Let's see if you can dodge
336
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,847
all these expensive
rich lady collectables!
337
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:06,684
Basquiat's basquiaball.
Air Bud's skull!
338
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,895
An Irish femur from the Titanic!
[grunts]
339
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:09,562
[Pupa shouts]
340
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,481
Ancient butt plug!
341
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,068
Yes! Ha ha ha!
342
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,236
Fuck you!
343
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,197
I'm free from the torture!
344
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,031
[sighs]
345
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,032
- Cocomelon.
- Ah!
346
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,534
Ow! My leg! Oh God.
347
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,661
Help! Help!
348
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,080
Can anybody hear me?
349
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,040
[groans]
350
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,334
Of course not.
351
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,713
I'm all alone...
by my own design.
352
00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:36,255
[slurps]
353
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,591
Mm, this hot Cuoco is pumpkin-spicy.
354
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,717
Don't you think it's weird
355
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,803
that none of us figured out
what my goobler's dealio was?
356
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,139
Oh, my God, nobody cares
about the goobler shit.
357
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,933
I mean, if I had
to figure out the backstory
358
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,935
of everything I puked up,
I'd be too busy to write
359
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,312
my Dolores Claiborne
expanded universe fan fiction.
360
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,563
Maybe you're right.
361
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,358
I'm gonna go say bye
to the gooblers one more time
362
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,776
before we kwo-go.
363
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,153
Oh, my God,
you're such a Lisa Simpson.
364
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,280
? somber music playing ?
365
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,324
White Goobler? Are you awake?
366
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,994
[switch thuds, lights thud]
367
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,163
[White Goobler growls]
368
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,373
[Jesse gasps]
369
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,959
[White Goobler growls]
370
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,711
Give it to me! Papa like!
371
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,879
Whitey, no!
372
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,965
[White Goobler groans]
373
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,050
[wall crashes]
374
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,542
[White Goobler groans]
[Jesse gasps]
375
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:25,680
You know, I always thought
Kaley Cuoco was
376
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:26,889
a poor man's Kristen Bell,
377
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,182
but now I'm gonna upgrade her
378
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,768
to an upper middle-class woman's
Anna Faris.
379
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:33,119
- [branches snap]
- Shut up, did you hear that?
380
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,065
Use the single match app on your phone
to get us some more light.
381
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,276
Right! Steady.
Hope this works.
382
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:41,697
The app only has one match
before it makes you watch an ad.
383
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,039
Phew!
384
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,158
? tense music playing ?
385
00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:46,868
Oh, shit!
386
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,787
[White Goobler groans]
387
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,874
Help! It's hugging me!
Help! Help!
388
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,876
The White Goobler got out,
and now I think I know what happened!
389
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,627
It ate all the other gooblers!
390
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,129
Thanks a lot, lieutenant obvious!
391
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,298
Damn you, Jessica Opposites!
392
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,716
TERRY: Oh, my God!
YUMYULACK: Oh, shit!
393
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,718
We have to get to the visitor's center!
394
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,219
[White Goobler groans]
[Terry and Yumyulack grunt]
395
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,471
- No!
- Yummy bear!
396
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,515
[Yumyulack screams]
397
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,892
Looks like we need some speed.
398
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,633
Luckily, I wore my Heelys! Come on!
399
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,606
Ah!
Damn it, stupid dirt, getting in my 'ees.
400
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:17,940
Run, Terry!
401
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,526
I'm trying!
These Heely shoes betrayed me!
402
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,485
[crunches]
403
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,487
Kwelly to the rescue!
404
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,628
[golf cart screeches]
405
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,575
You gotta fix this,
or Kaley's gonna go ballistic!
406
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,626
[shouts]
407
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,455
I can't! I don't even know
what my goobler represents!
408
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,290
You better find someone who can!
409
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,374
That's impossible!
410
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,543
Our ship computer couldn't even do- Ah!
411
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,628
Fuckin' snakes!
412
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,129
Snake blood never comes out.
413
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,923
These seats are gonna be red for life.
414
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,133
Wait! Red. That's it!
415
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,554
God, Kaley's gonna take
those snakes out of my pension!
416
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:55,687
? dramatic music playing ?
417
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,730
[door opens, closes]
418
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,106
How'd you find me?
419
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,109
Instagram. You gotta tell it
not to let people tag you.
420
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,445
I can't, we get a lot
of business through social.
421
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,947
Would you just leave me alone?
422
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,448
It took a lot of tele-therapy,
423
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,450
but I'm not trying to kill Korvo anymore.
424
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,161
That's great! I'm proud of you
for doing the hard work!
425
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,955
But I really need your help.
426
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,707
Did you make some super gooblers
that got out of hand?
427
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,625
How did you know?
428
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,586
All gooblers are connected
through the emotional spectrum.
429
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,797
I could feel their presence
when you made them.
430
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:26,259
I'm drawn to them.
But I'm the master of my own fate.
431
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,720
I choose to own the fifth most popular
microbrewery in town.
432
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,347
Sorry, I can't help you.
433
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,266
But my super goob ate the others,
434
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,268
and it ate Terry and Korvo and Yumyulack
435
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,727
and now I don't know what to do.
436
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,521
- Not my problem.
- But you're my only-
437
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,147
Korvo and Terry ruined my life!
438
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,899
They turned my fianc� into a rat!
439
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,484
I'm over it, I'm out.
440
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,653
Hold your red horses, goobs.
441
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,031
If you're out, then why is your brewery
called Die Korvo in Latin?
442
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,866
Get out!
443
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,493
And why are all your beer names
so violent and abusive?
444
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,745
Hefewei Is Korvo Still Alive,
445
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,623
IPA Bullet in Korvo's Head. Stella.
446
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,499
I said get out!
447
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,376
[Jesse sobs]
448
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,457
[door opens, closes]
449
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,133
[sobs, shouts]
450
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,384
[door opens]
451
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,719
Take me to the goobler.
452
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,429
What made you change your mind?
453
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,055
I might be over killing Korvo,
454
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,349
but god fuck me if I'll let
another goobler eat him
455
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,434
instead of me.
456
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:17,519
Works for me!
457
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,481
Just gonna warn you.
It's kind of a long drive.
458
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,987
So you know Korvo
and I hooked up in Vegas?
459
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,821
I bet you're wondering how I did it,
460
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,282
since Korvo doesn't have a butt
and I don't have a dick.
461
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,327
Nah, it's okay, I don't need to know.
462
00:16:33,328 --> 00:16:36,204
I dug a little hole out of his butt
463
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,122
and used a shampoo bottle as a phallus.
464
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,874
- It kept falling off.
- Let's just listen
465
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,626
to some random-ass music, huh?
466
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:42,947
? hard rock music playing ?
467
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,922
Oh, god damn it, fine.
468
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,257
I regret the way I lived my life.
469
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,426
I lie to myself about being powerful,
470
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,595
but I'm just toxic and bossy,
471
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,056
and because of that, I'm alone.
472
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,974
You can see how unhappy I am.
473
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,559
I hate being the executive
474
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,728
who decided Exxon Mobil should care more
475
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,688
about profits than people.
476
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,232
Yeah, that was me!
477
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,901
I was also the one
who made insulin cost so much,
478
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,986
though it's basically free to make.
479
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,573
[sobs] I'm scum.
480
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,825
I'm scum.
481
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,244
? tense music intensifies ?
482
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,295
[Brandy gasps]
483
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:19,747
[knocking at door]
484
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,542
Miss Brandy?
Did something terrible happen?
485
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:25,419
You haven't texted me anything racist
in the last few days.
486
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,171
Alice! Oh, Alice!
487
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,757
I'll pay for your experimental
cancer treatments.
488
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,010
I'll help save your village
that I destroyed with that pipeline!
489
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,137
I want to be a better person,
490
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,140
and it's all thanks to this
strange creature that-
491
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,191
[gasps]
492
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,143
Maybe he was never really there.
493
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,186
[chuckles]
494
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:45,356
Oh! That whole time,
it was my conscience.
495
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,483
I was just hallucinating!
496
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,027
Oh! Is that good?
497
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:54,323
I don't know, but I'm nice now!
498
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,158
I'm calling all the airlines
499
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,288
and making every plane seat bigger!
500
00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:02,832
Huh, I thought this would be
more like Leighton Meester's
501
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,792
Meester Rogers' Neighborhood
For Sea Creatures
502
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:05,918
and Where To Dump Them.
503
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,920
Geez, these celeb animal rescue names
504
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,255
are getting pretty sweaty.
505
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,258
Oh, no! What's happening?
506
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,760
I hope my goobler didn't do
a murder on anyone else!
507
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,091
[thuds]
[Jesse screams]
508
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,723
? dramatic music playing ?
509
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,391
[White Goobler groaning]
510
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,059
[Kwelly gasps, screams]
511
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,477
Oh, shit, yeah, no,
512
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,948
that's definitely
an anger repression goobler.
513
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,609
[golf cart crashes]
514
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:32,028
She's gonna consume everyone else
and save you for last.
515
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:32,862
That's what they do.
516
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,407
But I'm not repressed or angry.
I'm happy!
517
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,284
? dramatic music playing ?
518
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,828
[White Goobler belches]
519
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,206
You need to admit you've got
a problem before we all die!
520
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,501
But I don't have a problem!
There has to be another way.
521
00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,170
I guess I can try talking to her,
goobler to goobler,
522
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,713
using goobler speak.
523
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,842
Gooble. Gooble goo goo gooble goo!
524
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,971
Gooble goo goo gooble booble goo!
525
00:18:58,436 --> 00:19:00,556
[Red Goobler shouts]
526
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,432
[gasps]
527
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,768
Hold on! I'm coming!
[Red Goobler screaming]
528
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,894
Jesse, it's up to you,
529
00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,480
deep down you know who you're angry at!
530
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:08,982
[Jesse screams]
531
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,485
[Jesse screaming]
532
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,403
Uh, hello, everybody.
533
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,030
Jessica, your stupid goobler ate us,
534
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,615
and now you brought
the Red Goobler into it!
535
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,825
- Get fucked!
- You get fucked, you rude shit!
536
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,119
This is all your fault!
Why do you suck so much?
537
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,498
[growls] Korvo, shut- shut-
538
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,124
Get him, Jesse! Let it out!
539
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,544
Shut your filthy mouth, Korvo!
540
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,128
It's your fault you're in here!
541
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,047
If you weren't being mean
to me all the time,
542
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,591
I wouldn't have a fudgin' goobler
in the first place.
543
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,803
You've turned into a bully
because I never fight back,
544
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,930
but that changes now!
545
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,807
I'm not a bully,
don't try and turn this on me!
546
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,934
I'm not done!
547
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,186
You're rude, selfish,
and mean to me all the time!
548
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,147
But you just hate yourself,
and we all know it!
549
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,774
You don't like me?
550
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,985
No, I don't. I don't like you.
551
00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:54,861
You suck.
552
00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,822
You never appreciate all the work
I do around the house,
553
00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,867
and I never get a story with you ever!
554
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:04,370
Fine, Jessica, we can have
a story if you calm down.
555
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:09,250
Stop calling me Jessica!
My name is Jesse!
556
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,042
[White Goobler groans, splatters]
557
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,628
[all grunt]
558
00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,046
We're free! Ha ha!
559
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,673
And my goobler's okay.
560
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,050
Oh, yeah, baby, that's the good stuff.
561
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,343
Jesse, your anger.
562
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,304
Expressing it made your goobler explode.
563
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:24,182
Yeah, that's what happens
if you actually show real growth.
564
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,641
Then why are you still around?
565
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,686
Because you're a myopic,
stressed-out piece of shit.
566
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:29,770
Right.
567
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,981
I realized that
if you swallow your anger,
568
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:32,982
it will kill you.
569
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,651
So I let her swallow me and I killed her.
570
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,820
Wait, so you're not
actually angry with me?
571
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,323
Oh, I'm angry. Korvo, get fucked!
572
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,075
I'm so proud of you!
573
00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:43,534
? upbeat music playing ?
574
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,412
[crowd cheering]
575
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,207
? upbeat music playing ?
576
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,458
Thanks for the help, Chris.
577
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,960
I never could have channeled
my rage at Korvo
578
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,378
without your expertise.
579
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,465
As the King Goobler says,
oobie goobie goo!
580
00:20:57,466 --> 00:20:59,217
[gooblers laughing]
581
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:01,594
Did he say King Goobler?
What the fuck is that?
582
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:03,888
Looks like all my goobies
love working with you.
583
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,016
You know, today Jesse taught me
to be true to my feelings.
584
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,059
You're safe now,
585
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,645
but I will hunt you down
and I will kill you.
586
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:11,729
Don't you threaten me.
587
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,689
I already did, you big bitch.
588
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,440
[all laughing]
589
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,526
Oh, yeah? Well, guess what?
You'll never kill me.
590
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:17,985
I'm too fast and too smart.
591
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,737
And it's my turn to say,
592
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,197
get fucked!
593
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:24,116
[glass shatters]
[Korvo groaning, screaming]
594
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,161
My leg! Oh, Jesus Christ,
it fucking hurts!
595
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,079
Help!
596
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,039
I stabbed my leg
on the jagged glass.
597
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,293
I can feel it scraping the thing
I have instead of a bone!
598
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,628
Holy fuck, he's losing a lot of blood.
599
00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,279
- Should we get him down?
- Yes! Of course, we should!
600
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,007
In a minute.
601
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,259
[all laughing]
602
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,095
Oh. Hey, Pupa, what you got?
603
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,805
I wanna be a better person!
604
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,765
Shit, Pupes! You did it!
605
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:51,196
You did something good for humanity
instead of scheming for candy!
606
00:21:51,197 --> 00:21:53,855
Hold on, you already have
three million subscribers
607
00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,440
and a Starburst sponsorship?
608
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,985
[Korvo groaning]
609
00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,528
KORVO:
Ow, ow! It hurts!
610
00:22:00,529 --> 00:22:01,654
Pupa, get back here!
611
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,115
How did you turn this into a referendum
on me being a dick?
612
00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:07,577
[screams] This was a Jesse story!
Why am I being punished?
613
00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,246
It's not fair! Ow! Ow!
614
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,748
Goobie goobie dooby, get fucked!
615
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:17,336
? dramatic music playing ?
616
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,507
?
617
00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,629
[mimicking laser fire]
618
00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:03,229
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