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1
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,860
I wonder if me life would've bin
different if I'd bin taller.
2
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:40,880
Of course it would - instead of
being short and scruffy, you'd've
been tall and scruffy.
3
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,760
You could have longer holes in
your trousers.
4
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,880
They're quite long enough.
5
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,320
I could've married
Mable Stoddard, if I'd bin taller.
6
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,680
But, as it was, 'er
father didn't think me suitable.
7
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:58,000
Oh, well of course, we're both
astounded by that information.
8
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:04,080
I mean, we could never imagine
that anybody's father could find
you unsuitable.
9
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,080
Hey, Dewdrop, get knotted!
10
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,020
Oh, very suitable!
11
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:17,220
Fathers do have the tendency to be
unromantic about their daughter's
love-life - It's a critical age
12
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:23,440
ready to deny such hoary
fundamentals as
crease-resistant trousers.
13
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,680
Did he ever say WHY
you were unsuitable?
14
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,240
No, 'e never spoke to me
personally.
15
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,640
I used to call at their 'ouse and
'e was allus just goin' out.
16
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,820
Whatever the time, there 'e was,
just goin' out.
17
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,560
I wonder why.
18
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,640
I've never seen such a bloke for
just goin' out.
19
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,760
Used to say 'ow do to 'is back, if
I were quick - 'Ow do, Mr Stoddard.
20
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:51,920
Gone.
21
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,680
Gets very disheartening....
22
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,040
..talkin' to people's backs
23
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:05,840
Maybe you wouldn't've liked his
front - the world's full of people
with fronts it's difficult to like.
24
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,560
Who did marry Mable Stoddard?
25
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,680
Married some
Yank, durin' the war.
26
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,280
Just 'cos 'e
'ad 2 pips on
'is shoulders.
27
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,360
I often 'ad 2
Military Police
on mine....
28
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,920
..but I didn't
go round gobbin' about it.
29
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,920
You were never really
the warrior class.
30
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,960
You've got something deeply
civilian about those legs.
31
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,640
It's me trousers,
they never fit.
32
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,720
Why?
33
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,720
Don't know,
must be 'abit.
34
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:53,160
Imagine, Mable Stoddard
somewhere in America.
35
00:02:53,160 --> 00:03:00,680
With blue hair - married possibly
to an Orthodontist,
whatever that is.
36
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,420
I wonder if she ever misses
REAL life.
37
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,240
Isn't an Orthodontist something
to do with teeth?
38
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,240
I can't help thinking,
it serves 'em right.
39
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:19,480
Hey up!
40
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,280
Someone made a right bog-up o'
shearin' that sheep.
41
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,200
Supposed to be quite
intelligent dogs.
42
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,640
'Ave to be, dressed like that!
43
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,800
Bet they get a lot o' stick
from cheeky mongrels.
44
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,780
Nothing wrong with it,
it looks very smart.
45
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:43,840
Suppose if it were thine,
tha'd be blancoing it.
46
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,320
I bet it's cleaner in the house
than your ferrets.
47
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,400
My ferrets are 'ouse trained.
48
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,680
They're in the wrong house, then.
49
00:03:55,480 --> 00:04:00,920
It's not the kind of dog you'd
feel comfortable with in
draft beer circles.
50
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,640
Fi-Fi....FI-I!
51
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,200
Which one of you 2 answers
to the name of Fi-Fi?
52
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,200
Fi-Fi.
53
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,080
Come 'ere, you stupid twollop!
54
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,200
'Ave yer seen a dog?
55
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,600
What make?
56
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,380
What make? With a name
like Fi-Fi? It's an
Irish Wolf Hound, naturally.
57
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:33,800
It went that way.
Towards the water? Yes.
My God, is it deep?
58
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,680
Oh no, just a few inches, it's
quite shallow. Oh, it would be.
59
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,880
It can swim, can't it?
60
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,040
Swim? 'Ow do I know?
61
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,000
All I ever see it do is eat
flamin' toffees, lick me wife
and pee all over me geraniums.
62
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,180
Well, that's better than
licking the geraniums and p...
63
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:58,800
'Ow do they expect yer to get
attached to anything that knows
no better than to lick yer wife?
64
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,980
It's thee that takes
it for a walk, though. No choice!
65
00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:04,800
I get ordered out.
66
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,240
Why doesn't she take it?
67
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,599
She's fatter than the dog, spends
'er time chompin' on toffees too.
68
00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:15,180
Mind, she's great at keepin' people
69
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,040
Well, I better find the dozy bitch.
70
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,320
I thought tha'd left
'er at 'ome.
71
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,320
'E's a comic.
72
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,120
Oh yes, we keep him around
for laughs...and fashion notes.
73
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,320
'E wouldn't think life so funny...
74
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,380
..if 'e 'ad to go 'walkies'
every day.
75
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,240
'Walkies!'
76
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,000
Where are you dog? Nice dog.
77
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,760
Come 'ere, you stupid bitch!
78
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,160
It's always a pleasure to see
someone happy at his work.
79
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:57,480
He should've kept it on a lead.
'Ow would thee like to be
fastened to a thing like that?
80
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:02,200
I wouldn't mind -
not on a proper commercial basis.
81
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,740
If we were being paid for it.
82
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,880
I've got an idea.
83
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,160
There must be 100s of people
like him...
84
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:19,360
...who'd seize the opportunity
to have their pets exercised
by a competent 3rd party.
85
00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:25,140
Where are you going? Come back!
It's a great idea.
86
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,680
No, no, no, NO!
87
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:36,480
There isn't even any work involved.
None? None.
88
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:42,960
Don't let 'im lie to me, Norm -
Don't let 'im get me involved
in something with work in it.
89
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,800
You're not afraid of hard work.
I'm not? 'Course you're not. Sure?
90
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,740
You're afraid of even easy work.
That's true!
91
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,160
For a minute I thought you'd
mixed me up with somebody else.
92
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,800
Who'd mix him up?
93
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,800
Everybody's got a double.
94
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,680
Oh, God!
95
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,540
Don't scratch the wall this time.
96
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,000
You were 'oldin' one end, y'know.
97
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,840
I was 'oldin' my end off the wall.
98
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:20,640
Just a moment! Can't have ladies
struggling while men are present.
99
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,360
No, just open the door,
that'll do fine.
100
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:29,680
I won't hear of it -
kindly lower your end.
It's all right, don't bother.
101
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,960
Make yer minds up, it's 'eavy.
102
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,440
What'cha got, Ivy?
103
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,540
Some idiot in the way, as usual.
104
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:43,140
Merely trying to be of assistance
Oh all right, carry it if y'must.
105
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,960
What's goin' on?
106
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,280
I've got this childish urge
to get me foot out.
107
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:54,160
Don't just sit there! Come on,
me foot's stuck Is it, let's look.
108
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,400
Don't put yer weight on it!
109
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:02,200
What'cha got there, Sid? It seems
to be yon useless beggar, mainly,
110
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,400
No need for that attitude.
111
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,160
Sid, Sid, Sid, what's in the box?
112
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:12,300
It's a self-assembly, modular,
high impact, stain-resistant unit.
Get away!
113
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,920
I still don't know what's in it
114
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:23,120
I'll give you a 'and.
Mind me paint!
Steady! To you a bit.
115
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,640
Come on, Compo, grab 'old
of somethin'.
116
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,900
ARRRGH!
117
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,960
All right Ivy, it were an impulse!
Yer don't 'ave t'marry me.
118
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,360
Stay there, and don't move.
119
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,240
'Ere, Ivy, look.
Oooh!
120
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,560
What's tha doin' there?
121
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,120
Just catching the passing moment.
122
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,960
I could do with Sid, but the man's
got no sense of direction.
123
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,320
Open it carefully
I am opening it carefully.
124
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:08,000
I don't want it scratched
before we even start.
You've started already.
125
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,900
Y'can't go diggin' in like
a lunatic with that screwdriver.
126
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:14,440
Well, pass me somethin' sharper,
like your tongue!
127
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,800
It must take years to work
together as smoothly as that.
128
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,920
Drink up, they're not the only
ones with work to do.
129
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:28,059
Hey up! I thought tha said there
wasn't any work involved.
130
00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:30,859
There won't be any work involved.
131
00:09:33,259 --> 00:09:38,219
Good God, you can't call it work,
taking a little dog for a stroll.
132
00:09:38,219 --> 00:09:39,419
How little?
133
00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:44,379
Well, it can't be all that big -
Dogs aren't all that big, are they.
Big dogs are.
134
00:09:44,379 --> 00:09:46,739
Some of 'em are even...
135
00:09:46,739 --> 00:09:52,019
It's not a question of size,
you simply dominate them -
It's a question of control.
136
00:09:52,019 --> 00:09:53,619
They respond to a firm hand.
137
00:09:53,619 --> 00:09:56,779
So does Ivy -
She grabs thee by the collar.
138
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,119
It's worth it though.
139
00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:05,919
The question is...
140
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:09,539
..would you trust your pet with
the midget haystack here?
141
00:10:12,459 --> 00:10:14,019
And the answer is...
142
00:10:14,019 --> 00:10:15,739
No.
143
00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:21,459
I think we'll keep you out of
sight while Clegg and I are
negotiating with our clients.
144
00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:26,019
If it's all the same to you,
Foggy - I'd love to be
kept out of sight with him
145
00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:28,859
while you negotiate with
our clients.
146
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:35,019
Tha'd love to be kept out of sight
wouldn't you, Norm? I would.
'E would. Nonsense!
147
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:40,339
We'd cover twice the ground with
both of us - Now, you take this
side and I'll take the other.
148
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:42,059
Right now?
149
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:47,139
Of course right now, why wait?
Oh, give us a second and
I'll think of something.
150
00:10:49,259 --> 00:10:51,819
I don't understand you.
151
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:58,419
I present you with this brilliant
scheme and...there's not even any
capital expenditure involved.
152
00:10:58,419 --> 00:11:02,739
They'll all have their own
dog leads. Oh, I don't mind leads.
153
00:11:02,739 --> 00:11:04,979
If they don't,
all we need is string. Hey up!
154
00:11:04,979 --> 00:11:08,139
Tha's not 'avin'
this bit
155
00:11:08,259 --> 00:11:11,859
All right, if we have to we'll
buy a piece.
156
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:17,019
I mean, in what other way can
you start a business on just
a piece of string?
157
00:11:19,459 --> 00:11:23,659
It's brilliant, I tell you - What
do we do with half the day anyway?
158
00:11:23,659 --> 00:11:28,319
Stroll round the hills - We might
just as well take an animal too.
159
00:11:29,119 --> 00:11:31,139
You see how brilliant it is.
160
00:11:31,139 --> 00:11:38,139
Without the slightest change
in our life style, all of a sudden
we're in the money.
161
00:11:39,939 --> 00:11:41,739
And there's not even work involved.
162
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:43,859
That's right,
go on!
163
00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:46,019
Appeal to his better nature.
164
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:51,139
If tha's goin' t'spend tha life
avoidin' work, put y'back into it.
165
00:11:51,139 --> 00:11:55,179
If a thing's worth doin'
it's worth doin' well.
166
00:11:57,139 --> 00:11:59,699
Come on Clegg, let's get going
167
00:12:00,099 --> 00:12:03,419
Short walks, 50p,
long walks, �1.
168
00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:05,879
Flat rate per dog,
irrespective of size.
169
00:12:06,819 --> 00:12:10,419
We could be on the verge
of something big.
170
00:12:10,419 --> 00:12:12,419
HORN BLASTS
171
00:12:52,179 --> 00:12:56,099
Ah..yes, good morning, madam.
172
00:12:56,099 --> 00:12:57,899
I wonder if I...
173
00:13:21,739 --> 00:13:23,939
Well, what do you want?
174
00:13:24,539 --> 00:13:27,279
C..could we take your pet
for a walk?
175
00:13:37,219 --> 00:13:40,379
Suit yourself -
I don't mind,
if you don't.
176
00:13:50,019 --> 00:13:55,139
Thought I'd be at work
didn't you? Hard luck! Slightly
dropped one today, haven't we?
177
00:13:55,139 --> 00:13:58,819
'Ow do yer do it? Go on, explain -
'Ow do yer do it?
178
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:05,079
I expected some flash Herbert with
a real moustache - David Niven,
I could live with David Niven.
179
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:08,499
What the 'ell does she see in you?
You must be a talker.
180
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:12,239
That's it, int it? A smooth Herbert
with the words.
181
00:14:12,239 --> 00:14:16,339
Must be a talker! Look at yer,
like a pair of empty long coms.
182
00:14:16,499 --> 00:14:20,139
Money! Yer must 'ave money!
Is that it, yer swine?
183
00:14:20,139 --> 00:14:21,939
I BET YER LOADED!
184
00:14:21,939 --> 00:14:26,859
If you come back here again...
185
00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:27,899
HORN BLASTS
186
00:14:43,439 --> 00:14:46,499
Damn great oaf was
totally unreasonable.
187
00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:49,739
I had to leave.
Very fast!
188
00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:54,099
I had to leave very fast before
my self-control snapped.
189
00:14:54,099 --> 00:14:56,259
Then there'd've been blood
on the ground.
190
00:14:56,259 --> 00:14:58,059
Aye...his.
191
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,139
How do, Wally.
192
00:15:01,139 --> 00:15:02,979
How do, Compo.
193
00:15:02,979 --> 00:15:09,499
You'd never think to look at 'im,
that 'e was known as Little
Laughin' Walter Batty, at school.
194
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:12,579
I didn't know that.
195
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,339
That's 'cos I just made it up!
196
00:15:15,339 --> 00:15:20,899
What did they call him? Inky.
Inky Batty! I remember now.
197
00:15:20,899 --> 00:15:26,699
'E were always covered in ink!
It were like playin' football
with a piebald pony.
198
00:15:28,539 --> 00:15:31,339
But 'e was always 'appy, though.
199
00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:34,299
I think some of the magic's
gone from his life.
200
00:15:37,239 --> 00:15:40,739
I really hate big people
who grab you by the throat.
201
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:43,779
I thought you'd done judo.
202
00:15:44,859 --> 00:15:48,739
Ah...well, I was posted before
we got to throats.
203
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:53,659
But, if he'd've come at me with a
bayonet..Oh yes, a different story.
204
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:03,259
I expect you're wondering why
I didn't grapple with him.
205
00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:07,939
We're not wondering, Foggy -
We know quite well why you didn't
grapple with him.
206
00:16:11,059 --> 00:16:15,259
Yer a talker are yer? A talker?
That's it!
207
00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:22,299
Well, I just didn't want to touch
the uncouth lout.
208
00:16:22,299 --> 00:16:26,019
I hate being seen in the street
with people in their vests.
209
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:30,059
Beer belly, braces dangling.
210
00:16:30,059 --> 00:16:35,019
Not the sort of person you'd
choose to grapple with.
211
00:16:35,019 --> 00:16:39,199
Nora Batty's the sort of person
I'd choose to grapple with.
212
00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:41,499
Tell him, he's married to her.
213
00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:44,299
Looking well on it, isn't he?
214
00:16:45,499 --> 00:16:50,459
If ever 'e's lookin' for a new
'ome for 'er, 'e's promised me
first refusal.
215
00:16:52,019 --> 00:16:54,659
I'm lookin', I'm lookin'.
216
00:16:54,659 --> 00:16:59,819
Why don't yer send 'er round? Yer
knows where I live. She won't come.
217
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:06,819
I don't know why you don't make
yourself more attractive.
Hey up! I AM more attractive.
218
00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:14,199
Before she'd marry me, I 'ad to
make meself more attractive.
And like a fool, I did.
219
00:17:15,699 --> 00:17:19,059
You can't go tampering with nature.
220
00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:26,299
Just a bit of solid Brilliantine,
that's all. A well know aphrodisiac -
you must've been irresistible.
221
00:17:26,739 --> 00:17:28,019
I was.
222
00:17:30,619 --> 00:17:35,699
Tell us, Wally, what's the secret?
What does Nora like in a man?
223
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,699
Total submission.
224
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:43,699
HAMMERING FROM KITCHEN
You great dozy buttock!
225
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:48,259
Follow the instructions!
Yours or the printed ones?
226
00:17:48,259 --> 00:17:51,939
You've got no idea!
You wouldn't say that
if yer knew what I was thinkin'.
227
00:17:53,299 --> 00:17:58,339
It's terrible service round here.
I know, I 'ad to wait ages.
228
00:17:58,339 --> 00:18:03,499
Standin' there feelin' neglected,
might just as well've bin at 'ome.
229
00:18:04,539 --> 00:18:06,299
Didn't you ring the bell?
230
00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:08,259
No, daren't ring the bell.
231
00:18:08,259 --> 00:18:10,539
Ivy goes ape if yer ring the bell.
232
00:18:10,539 --> 00:18:12,099
But that's what it's there for.
233
00:18:12,099 --> 00:18:16,259
She takes every tinkle personally
on that bell.
234
00:18:17,499 --> 00:18:22,859
That's ridiculous, it's merely
a question of letting Ivy know
that there are customers waiting.
235
00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:28,259
We don't mind waiting, Foggy.
Right. In fact, when you look at it
waiting's pretty interesting.
236
00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:29,939
Great is waiting, int it?
237
00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:35,199
People do it all the time -
It's something biological,
like fluff in yer navel.
238
00:18:40,659 --> 00:18:42,579
Ring the bell.
239
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:46,619
You ring the bell.
240
00:18:46,619 --> 00:18:53,179
I'm perfectly capable of ringing
the bell, I just want to prove to
you that you too can ring the bell.
241
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:54,219
BANG
242
00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:56,579
God! Yer useless!
243
00:18:56,579 --> 00:19:00,579
If yer want anythin' doin', don't
ask a man, yer all the same.
244
00:19:00,579 --> 00:19:05,559
If yer don't 'ave to take
yer trousers off to do it,
yer not interested.
245
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:11,499
Very well then...
I'll ring the bell.
246
00:19:16,419 --> 00:19:18,779
BANG
Oh, give it 'ere!
247
00:19:18,819 --> 00:19:20,259
BELL RINGS
248
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,379
Who's that now?
249
00:19:35,579 --> 00:19:37,419
Oh, dear.
250
00:19:39,619 --> 00:19:42,159
Yer 'ave to laugh.
251
00:19:48,779 --> 00:19:50,979
Is tha comin' in, Wally?
252
00:19:50,979 --> 00:19:55,019
No, I best go 'ome,
I'm late as it is.
See thee then.
253
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:58,019
Don't ring any strange bells.
254
00:19:58,019 --> 00:19:59,299
Shut up!
255
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:03,419
What's it feel like to be
your own boss?
256
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:08,419
Completely independent...free?
257
00:20:09,659 --> 00:20:11,619
You wouldn't
like it, Wally.
258
00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:14,259
Continual happiness
can get you down.
259
00:20:14,499 --> 00:20:16,699
I suppose so.
260
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:22,619
Must get very borin'
bein' 'appy all the time.
261
00:20:22,619 --> 00:20:25,579
Oh it does, Wal,
it does.
262
00:20:25,579 --> 00:20:28,259
Cheer up, Wally,
we're all in the same boat.
263
00:20:28,259 --> 00:20:29,619
You're lumbered with Nora.
264
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:31,659
And we're lumbered
with him.
265
00:20:32,859 --> 00:20:34,559
I don't know what
you're talking about.
266
00:20:34,559 --> 00:20:36,579
And 'e's not
as sexy as Nora.
267
00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:38,979
Oh, I don't know.
268
00:20:41,159 --> 00:20:44,779
Look, are we going to have tea?
We've got a business to run.
269
00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:48,659
If it's tea yer after, why don't
you come 'ome wi' me?
270
00:20:48,659 --> 00:20:52,899
I find when I take
a few friends 'ome, Nora...
271
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,359
..she forgets all the jobs
I 'ave to do.
272
00:20:57,619 --> 00:20:59,939
That's a great idea, Wal.
273
00:21:02,539 --> 00:21:04,939
Yes, a great idea.
Yes, a great idea.
274
00:21:08,939 --> 00:21:11,779
That's great walnut cake, Wal.
275
00:21:11,779 --> 00:21:16,219
Oh aye, give 'er 'er due,
she's good at walnut cake.
276
00:21:16,779 --> 00:21:21,019
Wally, I think I'm in love
with yer missis.
277
00:21:22,259 --> 00:21:25,219
'Ave some more walnut cake. Ta.
278
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:39,179
Do you ever stop to wonder
if there are other beings
watching us from 'out there'?
279
00:21:40,979 --> 00:21:43,539
I think it's highly unlikely.
280
00:21:43,619 --> 00:21:45,419
I wish I was as sure as you are.
281
00:21:46,519 --> 00:21:49,179
Well it stands to reason.
282
00:21:49,179 --> 00:21:54,539
If there was anything 'out there'
they'd be trying to communicate
with the more intelligent among us.
283
00:21:54,539 --> 00:21:56,619
And I've never heard a word.
284
00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:06,059
Then you don't think there could
be strange forms of life, beyond
our comprehension, watching us?
285
00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:07,179
No.
286
00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:10,579
Then I think y'wife wants you, Wal.
287
00:22:12,779 --> 00:22:16,019
You think? Would you like
to make sure?
288
00:22:16,019 --> 00:22:18,819
I'd 'ate to go if it's
not necessary.
289
00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:22,739
I'll go, I'll go.
290
00:22:25,059 --> 00:22:27,939
I want to congratulate 'er on 'er
walnut cake!
291
00:22:42,579 --> 00:22:47,979
That's a powerful reaction you had
from Nora - whatever did you say
about her walnut cake?
292
00:22:47,979 --> 00:22:52,779
You can't take him anywhere - Why
do you do that when you know she's
going to hit you with a brush?
293
00:22:52,779 --> 00:22:59,119
It shows she cares! I like to
leave 'er emotional and upset,
that way she knows I've been!
294
00:22:59,619 --> 00:23:04,739
She may be indifferent to men,
but when she sees me coming,
she gets palpitations!
295
00:23:04,739 --> 00:23:05,939
Don't we all?
296
00:23:05,939 --> 00:23:10,219
Course it's taken me years
to get 'er in this condition.
297
00:23:10,219 --> 00:23:12,019
But now, look...
298
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,919
..what 'appens when I press 'er
door bell.
299
00:23:18,739 --> 00:23:24,539
Get away! You see? Get off me step!
She gets all emotional.
And don't come back!
300
00:23:24,539 --> 00:23:29,419
She's just playin' 'ard to get.
Well, it looked hard to me.
301
00:23:29,419 --> 00:23:33,699
I wonder how much milage she gets
from one brush? They don't make
brushes like they used to.
302
00:23:33,699 --> 00:23:35,899
They don't last 2 minutes.
303
00:23:35,899 --> 00:23:39,739
Only me can bring colour like that
to 'er cheeks.
304
00:23:39,739 --> 00:23:44,939
What's 'e whisperin' about now?
Is 'e talkin' about me legs?
I won't 'ave 'im talkin'
305
00:23:44,939 --> 00:23:46,379
about me legs.
306
00:23:47,979 --> 00:23:50,539
Nearly full of eastern promise.
307
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:57,899
If only we 'ad a warmer climate -
one good long 'ot spell
and I could be...WEH-HEY!
308
00:24:01,219 --> 00:24:03,479
I sometimes think 'e's perverted.
309
00:24:04,379 --> 00:24:07,779
I am perverted, to North Sea Gas,
we all are round 'ere.
310
00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:09,539
Take 'im away.
311
00:24:10,019 --> 00:24:14,499
A man came in a van and
disconnected me old appliance.
312
00:24:16,699 --> 00:24:20,419
It wasn't anything personal.
I'm glad about that.
313
00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:24,099
Will you get a move on?
Let's get back to business.
314
00:24:30,739 --> 00:24:35,779
Are you sure this dog-walking
business is a good idea, Foggy?
315
00:24:35,779 --> 00:24:42,019
I've never been more sure -
you'll laugh at these doubts
when the money comes rolling in.
316
00:24:42,019 --> 00:24:45,939
Once we've got this started we'll
have to employ other people.
317
00:24:45,939 --> 00:24:51,419
The thing is to build up a firm
base locally - and then...
we go national.
318
00:24:52,579 --> 00:24:55,279
Wow! We're going national!
319
00:24:55,279 --> 00:24:58,939
Will we like it? Of course
you'll like it. We'll like it!
320
00:24:58,939 --> 00:25:03,739
You'll probably be walking dogs
all over England.
I'm not goin' to like it.
321
00:25:03,739 --> 00:25:05,339
Why ever not?
322
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:10,279
All that way? I'm not walkin'
perishin' dogs all round England!
323
00:25:10,279 --> 00:25:13,819
We've got to become a household
word for reliability.
324
00:25:13,819 --> 00:25:18,679
What's a household word for
reliability? Boring.
325
00:25:19,979 --> 00:25:26,099
Then, one day it's going to happen -
the phone's going to ring
and it's going to be them.
326
00:25:26,739 --> 00:25:30,939
Them? The Royal Corgis!
327
00:25:30,939 --> 00:25:32,499
On the phone?
328
00:25:33,579 --> 00:25:37,859
Not in person, no -
you know what that means?
329
00:25:38,059 --> 00:25:40,139
Sharp teeth in the ankles.
330
00:25:41,259 --> 00:25:46,579
It means the Royal Warrant,
By Appointment, on our letterheads -
possibly an OBE.
331
00:25:46,739 --> 00:25:48,859
I like it.
332
00:25:49,739 --> 00:25:52,139
WC Dewhurst, OBE.
333
00:25:53,339 --> 00:25:56,859
Mister WC Dewhurst, OBE.
334
00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:58,899
Sir Walter Dewhurst.
335
00:25:58,899 --> 00:26:00,739
OBE.
336
00:26:02,339 --> 00:26:06,539
Privately amongst the household
I'll still be known as Foggy.
337
00:26:06,539 --> 00:26:11,039
"Is Foggy back with the corgis?"
"No, ma'am."
338
00:26:11,039 --> 00:26:15,059
"Good man, they've never been
so healthy."
339
00:26:17,939 --> 00:26:22,659
Sandringham means early morning mist
and Foggy out with the corgis.
340
00:26:22,659 --> 00:26:25,939
"Morning, Mark."
"Hello, Foggy.
341
00:26:25,939 --> 00:26:26,979
"How are the dogs?
342
00:26:26,979 --> 00:26:28,379
"Sprightly?"
343
00:26:28,699 --> 00:26:34,239
"Very sprightly." Oh, for God's
sake keep him out of the way -
those trousers are treasonable.
344
00:26:34,239 --> 00:26:36,899
There's still some wear in these.
Exactly.
345
00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:42,239
It's somewhere that didn't ought
to be showing - we'll buy him out,
set him up in a tax haven.
346
00:26:42,239 --> 00:26:45,259
You can go to Bermuda
and breed ferrets.
347
00:26:55,659 --> 00:26:59,459
Here we are then, a customer.
348
00:26:59,459 --> 00:27:01,059
In there?
349
00:27:01,059 --> 00:27:03,779
Well, of course in there.
350
00:27:03,779 --> 00:27:09,579
Look at it - Substantial dwelling
- the kind who can afford to have
his dog taken for a walk.
351
00:27:09,579 --> 00:27:13,939
That's where we've been wrong, we
should've started more upmarket.
352
00:27:15,539 --> 00:27:17,939
But it's a dangerous dog.
353
00:27:18,779 --> 00:27:24,579
Not when you're taking it for a
walk - dangle a lead, say, "walkies"
and they behave like idiots.
354
00:27:26,239 --> 00:27:29,059
Speaking of behaving like idiots.
355
00:27:36,859 --> 00:27:38,459
LOUD BARKING
356
00:28:14,219 --> 00:28:17,339
We certainly exercised this tyke.
357
00:28:17,339 --> 00:28:18,859
We'll get the hang of it.
358
00:28:18,859 --> 00:28:24,219
Don't you think we should show
our appreciation for the person
who invented dog-walking?
359
00:28:24,219 --> 00:28:26,259
Show 'im Norm, show 'im.
360
00:28:27,899 --> 00:28:30,699
Pack it in, be reasonable!
361
00:28:30,699 --> 00:28:33,619
You can't expect to get it right
first time.
362
00:29:13,059 --> 00:29:15,059
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