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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Hey, that's not meant for you!
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That's my salty nipple!
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Suspect number one, Mrs. Twatt.
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Pumpkin shooter.
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Precisely. What do we know about her,
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besides the fact that she's
balls deep in menopause?
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She's not psyched that you
helped put her son in prison.
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Correct. And when she
flipped a flamingo on me,
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I noticed she was wearing
the same orange nail color
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that was on those books.
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- Dink Choadler.
- Seemed so nice.
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There are some nice murderers.
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But he said he owned all my books.
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- Like the books found in the trunk.
- Exactly.
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He also yelled out,
"That wasn't meant for you,"
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when Dink saw the drunk drink my drink.
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Say that five fimes tast.
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Doggamnit!
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I mean, gab blam it!
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Also, it's like he meant
for only you to drink it.
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Plus, he made the drink.
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Thank you, Gilbert.
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Thank you, Jesus, for fun and friends.
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And last but least,
this dick, Paige Wellingtont.
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She was sneezing like crazy,
which would explain
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why there were so many tissues
in the front seat of that car.
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Look at this mess.
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A steaming hot pile of crow shit
all over my suspect board here.
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It's a mess. Ironically, I have
my own same three suspects.
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Really?
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That's a grocery list.
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"Two dozen eggs."
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That's for Dink there, because
he makes me the rocky smoothie
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every morning with the two egg yolks.
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Who's "Two big grapefruits"?
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That would be Mrs. Twatt there
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because you have two big
grapefruits on her chest.
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And my nickname for Mrs.
Wellingtont is Hemorrhoids.
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She's a pain in my ass!
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Should I bring all three of
them in for questioning, sir?
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Let me get my balls
together first, Gilbert.
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I was gonna say that, but you're
talking over me in front of people.
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I wish I could make a time machine
and go back five seconds
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so I can say what I was
gonna say the first time.
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It's funny that you're always about
to tell someone to do something
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after they've already said
they're going to do it.
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Honestly, I wasn't
listening to you at all,
48
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,023
but I do sense a tone in the room.
49
00:02:06,024 --> 00:02:09,390
Well, I think that my aunt's
probably just a bit on edge
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after almost being killed twice.
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Yeah. Why don't you go home and relax?
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Fine, but just tell me what those
three say when you interview them.
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Wait a minute now.
No one's privy to that
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except Gilbert and myself.
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This is an ongoing investigation.
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So stay out of it, Mapleworth.
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Ugh. Why would I try to poison Abigail?
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We're friends.
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Everything you ever written
about her says different.
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"Shitty writer solves murder."
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"Abigail Windbag writes a dumb novella."
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"Mystery solved. Mrs.
Mapleworth was the farter."
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One more question.
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Why are you such a
boring waste of space?
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And also, she's a piece of shit.
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Woman!
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Okay. Our job is to talk to the
suspect till the suspect fucks up.
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So here's the question.
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When you made Mrs. Mapleworth's drink,
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did you add poison?
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- Yes.
- See?
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- Wait. Did you say vermouth?
- No. I said poison.
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Oops. Then no.
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I call all booze poison,
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so when someone sits down,
I can say, "Name your poison."
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Because it sounds nifty.
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Okay, we got a few questions
for you, Mrs. Twatt.
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That's no longer my name, thank God.
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I remarried. Please call me Mrs. Minge.
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Mrs. Virginia Twatt-Minge.
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See, me and Gilbert here,
we're the police.
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So you better be careful
how you answer this.
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Did you put poison in
Mrs. Mapleworth's drink?
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Answer the doggang question...
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Oh! Answer the gall dang question...
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Not today, Pewntz, not today.
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What the hell?
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Get the fuck out of here!
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Did you try to run over Mrs.
Mapleworth with your car?
90
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How could I? I was reviewing
the Pitch 22 concert.
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I sat right next to Mrs.
Mapleworth's niece
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and her two weird friends.
93
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It wasn't me. I was at my whiskey club,
94
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where we drink whiskey
and hit things with clubs.
95
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,599
How can I possibly have tried
to run Mrs. Mapleworth over
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if I don't know how to
drive a ding-dang car?
97
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Prove it!
98
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They're all innocent!
99
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Oh! Gilbert!
100
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You gotta give me a heads-up
101
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if it's gonna be a
shit-in-the-pants day.
102
00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:54,439
It has been a stressful
day, Aunt Abigail.
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We really need to regroup.
104
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Can I just, like, help you?
105
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You don't need to coddle me, Heidi.
106
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:04,116
I'm not a little baby kitten
looking for her mama's teat.
107
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:06,557
Although I love those videos with...
108
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,029
Oh, I love it.
109
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Well, it's time someone looked
after you for a change.
110
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So you relax.
111
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Let's put on one of your house dresses.
112
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Aunt Abigail?
113
00:05:21,264 --> 00:05:24,135
Why do you have so many of these?
114
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What, my neck massagers?
115
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Don't tell me you don't get
a stiff neck sometimes.
116
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All modern women do.
117
00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:32,895
That's my favorite.
That's the purple princess.
118
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It has 40 settings.
119
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This one's pretty cool.
120
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Like steam punk. You junk.
121
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I've never seen that before in my life.
122
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That could've killed both of us.
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Looks like the dynamite set
off my neck massagers.
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The giant one is probably
leading the pack.
125
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Ah! Well, on the bright side,
126
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there's gonna be a happy
pussy tonight in this house.
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I'm sorry?
128
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,063
Buttercrunch, I found
your sparkle balls.
129
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:23,112
So how many neck massagers
were in the dresser?
130
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,860
Don't worry about it, Gilbert.
To the board.
131
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Hmm.
132
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,538
Hmm.
133
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,144
Or...
134
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,084
Hmm. Oh!
135
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,919
Mmm.
136
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,520
What if there's more than one murderer?
137
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- You know, I've been thinking...
- Can it, Gilbert.
138
00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:48,762
You're just coming up with theories
to come up with theories.
139
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,555
I'm sorry, Gilbert.
140
00:06:52,556 --> 00:06:54,855
I'm so discombobulated.
141
00:06:54,856 --> 00:06:59,943
I'm very relaxed around murder,
but this one is different.
142
00:06:59,944 --> 00:07:03,323
With all these close
calls, I've realized...
143
00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:05,905
that I could lose my wonderful life,
144
00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:09,493
with my wonderful friends
and family, at any time.
145
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,400
I was gonna give you
this gift card to the spa
146
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:17,503
for Sweetest Day, but...
147
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,126
I think you could use it now.
148
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:22,985
_
149
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,340
_
150
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:31,305
You know, Aunt Abigail, maybe
some relaxation can really help.
151
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:33,305
Maybe a little cucumber water
152
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:37,395
and a long overdue bikini
wax will clear my head
153
00:07:37,396 --> 00:07:39,730
and help me solve this stumper.
154
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,000
Thank you, Gilbert.
155
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,090
Whoo!
156
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:18,960
It's warm.
157
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:23,815
It's very warm.
158
00:08:23,816 --> 00:08:25,172
Uh-uh.
159
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,760
Oh!
160
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,079
Help!
161
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:44,990
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
12038
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