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1
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,399
- [Harley grunts]
- [thunder rumbles]
2
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:19,228
[Harley grunting]
3
00:00:19,813 --> 00:00:21,105
[Bethany grunts]
4
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,315
Give him up.
5
00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,691
I'll never betray
the man I love.
6
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,610
Even after he
disgraced your family?
7
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,653
- [Bethany grunting]
- On a podcast!
8
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,405
[both grunting]
9
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,282
He shot my friend.
10
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,317
Now tell me where he is.
11
00:00:33,342 --> 00:00:35,344
[spits] I'm an ER Nurse.
12
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,804
You'll have to kill me, bitch.
13
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,707
- I was hoping you'd say that.
- [metal clangs]
14
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,084
[thunder rumbling]
15
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,044
Get out of our house, clown.
16
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,545
You don't wanna do this.
17
00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:45,671
Try me.
18
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,215
[grunts and snarls]
19
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,971
Uh, fuck.
20
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,391
Bravo! Threatening children.
21
00:00:56,516 --> 00:01:00,019
It's certainly a new color of
heroism for the Bat family.
22
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,688
I'm not in the Bat
family anymore.
23
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,484
[theme music playing]
24
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,948
Hope my favorite
patient's hungry.
25
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,282
- [sighs]
- Three pillows?
26
00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:14,742
Come on, LeAnne.
27
00:01:14,826 --> 00:01:16,387
- That is some shabby service.
- [Barbara growls]
28
00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:17,721
I said I'd call you
when I'm discharged.
29
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,414
I thought maybe your
phone was stolen.
30
00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,707
Medical facilities are
infamous for electronics theft.
31
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:25,294
I asked for space to adjust to
being paralyzed from the waist down
32
00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:27,422
and you keep filling my
room with casseroles.
33
00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:28,965
Who do you think
washes all these?
34
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,718
I assume LeAnne. Not like
she's doing anything else.
35
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,740
Dude, I only have four
minutes before shift change
36
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,099
to hack into the billing system.
37
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,641
So, thanks for stopping by.
38
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,105
I think she's on her period.
39
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,941
Oh, Fates, release your grasp.
40
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,609
Take me instead.
41
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:52,572
When I find the monster
responsible for shooting my Babsy,
42
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:56,784
these old tuna cans are going
to tear him limb from limb,
43
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,661
eat the very flesh
from his bones,
44
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,205
then make a soothing
broth with his carcass
45
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,332
to use as a base in stews.
46
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,752
Then I'm going to learn
how to make a stew.
47
00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:09,046
Look, I totally feel you,
and I wish I could help,
48
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,009
but I'm taking some me
time away from hero-ing.
49
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:16,137
My first time was in the back
of my mom's station wagon.
50
00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,389
I did it with 20 other people.
51
00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:19,640
I was the only woman.
52
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,018
Mine was on my wedding night.
53
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,561
My husband's still mad.
54
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,105
But you never forget your
first corporate takedown.
55
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,982
To Ivy.
56
00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,442
- Aw, thanks.
- [applauding]
57
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,070
But, you know, it still
feels very unresolved.
58
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,322
Like... Like,
nothing's changed.
59
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,531
Change?
60
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,449
Honey, we're trying to get paid.
61
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,160
On to more pressing topics,
62
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:42,497
- Lex's birthday party on the moon.
- [crowd cheers]
63
00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:46,334
You... Lex as in
Lex Luthor or...
64
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,669
He's turning 40
for the 16th time.
65
00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:52,048
Guys, we just cheers-ed
to me defeating him.
66
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,509
Last year, he rode in on
the back of the JFK car
67
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,387
in Jackie's pink suit.
68
00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,763
It was so funny.
69
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,515
[all laughing]
70
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,517
Wait, wait, wait.
With Lex gone,
71
00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:05,853
we now have the ability
to create something new.
72
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:08,981
Like a... Like an
all-female LOD.
73
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:12,693
We could really do some
socially conscious evil.
74
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:13,736
Right?
75
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,780
Aw, you were serious about that?
76
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:20,201
That's why I took the
job. To make real change.
77
00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,203
Ivy, you know how it works.
78
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,372
We win, we lose,
we go to parties.
79
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,124
It's business. Don't
make it so personal.
80
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,959
Now, in honor of your big day,
81
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,670
which of these sad,
flaccid businessmen
82
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,589
do you wanna throw
spoiled fruit at?
83
00:03:33,715 --> 00:03:35,883
- [fruit splatters]
- [camera shutters clicking]
84
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,722
[Joker grunts] Ugh, oh.
85
00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:43,516
Is this because I lied
about killing Nightwing?
86
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,436
See, I had to shoot
Batgirl to make up for it.
87
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,063
Now my comeback's
double squashed.
88
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,443
I have 1,000 "Joker shot Batgirl"
T-shirts sitting at the printer.
89
00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:55,485
I'm going to lose my deposit.
90
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,071
- Order up.
- [animals screeching]
91
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,865
[snarling and growling]
92
00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:01,325
Oh, Harley. Come on.
93
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,910
We both know this
is not how I die.
94
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,413
Right, this is gonna be
too quick with hyenas.
95
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:07,498
- I'm gonna lose the meat juice.
- [Joker grunting]
96
00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:10,293
[shouting and spitting]
97
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,004
How many times must
we do this dance?
98
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,065
No, no, no. I'm just debating
the perfect way to kill you
99
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,257
that won't offend my
friend who hates killing.
100
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,594
I know killer's
block when I see it.
101
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:22,388
How'd you like me to hook
jumper cables up to your 'nads?
102
00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:23,848
Jumper cables?
103
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,101
You've seen too many
shitty A24 horror movies.
104
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,520
- You're allergic to peanuts, right?
- [Joker] Shellfish.
105
00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,731
If you were bad, you
would have done it by now.
106
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:34,275
And if you were
good, I'd be in jail.
107
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,860
So which is it, Harley?
108
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,489
Are you good or
bad? [chuckling]
109
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:42,408
Maybe I'm neither.
Maybe I'm in the middle.
110
00:04:42,492 --> 00:04:44,786
You know who's in the middle?
111
00:04:44,911 --> 00:04:46,871
Normies. Uggos.
112
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,458
That forgettable drip I send
my itemized receipts to.
113
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:51,793
You want vengeance?
114
00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:54,045
- Come at me, dawg.
- [cell phone beeps]
115
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,254
[hyenas growl]
116
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,048
Oh, my business
goddess needs me.
117
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,550
Damn. How did she even get
the camera to that angle?
118
00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:01,844
[laughs] Another stall.
119
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,471
Wait. Can I get some trail mix?
120
00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:05,890
My blood sugar is crashing.
121
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,308
[groans]
122
00:05:07,392 --> 00:05:09,685
- [slurps]
- [camera shutter clicks]
123
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:11,813
[Poison Ivy] Fucking,
what the dick?
124
00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:14,107
All these one-percenters and
butlers of one-percenters
125
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,652
wouldn't know accountability if it
stopped up their golden shitters.
126
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,463
Are we not still happy
that you took Lex down?
127
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,240
I mean, it's never enough for
you moguls. You're insatiable.
128
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,908
[sighs] I didn't take him down.
129
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,494
He just basically
relocated to the moon.
130
00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:30,289
Oh, oh. You know what makes me feel
better when I can't destroy my enemies?
131
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,500
Dry humping in the closet.
132
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,419
What are these bags?
133
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,337
They're from the
EWBC lunches. Ugh!
134
00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,506
Those business tote-cunts.
135
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,383
[Harley reading]
136
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,592
Is that a typo?
137
00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:44,303
You know what? I have an idea.
138
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,472
Wanna be my plus-one to a
birthday party on the moon?
139
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:47,991
[gasps] Do I have
time to shave my legs?
140
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,726
Fuck it, yes! Rip
out Lex's fillers
141
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:52,478
and show everyone I am a
very decisive revenger,
142
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:53,855
not a staller.
143
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,815
So, you... Wait, you
haven't killed Joker yet?
144
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,692
I'm so sorry to make
your thing my thing.
145
00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,527
Boss Bitch Level Infinity.
146
00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:00,671
Okay, this one's kind of cute.
147
00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:03,281
No, I know. Let's bring it.
148
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,782
[indistinct conversation]
149
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:10,079
The mother box.
150
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:14,375
My favorite means of intergalactic
travel and body part. Wink.
151
00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:15,877
Harls, focus.
152
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,254
I can't wait to see those
EWBC turncoats' faces
153
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:21,466
when I fucking destroy
that little birthday boy.
154
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,177
Ivy? Oh, you've
come to your senses.
155
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,763
Yep. That's what I've done.
156
00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:29,891
And you brought
your hag. Wonderful.
157
00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:30,725
Talia al Ghul.
158
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,393
We've met countless times.
159
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,312
Smells like... [sniffs]
160
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,899
- corporate espionage and Gotham Lady Perfume.
- [creature chuckles]
161
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,985
[chuckles] Are we at
Lex's b-day party?
162
00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:43,071
You're not a guest.
You're luggage.
163
00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:46,699
Everyone knows if you don't kill
a hostage in the first 24 days,
164
00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:48,618
it's never gonna
happen. [chuckles]
165
00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:49,911
[both grunting]
166
00:06:50,036 --> 00:06:52,330
Ooh, good to see
you, girl. [laughs]
167
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,873
I just had my ass done
168
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,375
and if I pop a stitch, I'm
out of pocket for touch-ups.
169
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,753
Love your leash. [giggles]
170
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:00,588
Did you copy it from me?
171
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:03,591
Oh. Ooh, Harley, come
join the plus-ones.
172
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,343
[Harley] Ooh,
173
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,237
playing a little five-card stud
with your wives' purse money?
174
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,906
[chuckling] Well, we do
like to stir up trouble
175
00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,640
while our ladies talk shop.
176
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,851
You know, being an evil She-EO's
plus-one is harder than it looks.
177
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:15,770
Can't wear socks
with loafers anymore.
178
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,606
Hmm. That must be a challenge for
those of you with feminine ankles.
179
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,149
[laughs] Wit. You are funny.
180
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,193
We have been looking
for a funny plus-one.
181
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,778
[both laughing]
182
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,447
Any of you cucks know
where I can take a wiz?
183
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,116
Girlfriend, no.
184
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,094
Guests of guests aren't
allowed to use Lex's bathrooms.
185
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,096
You'll need to go next door,
which requires finding a valet,
186
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,663
and then take a moon
buggy, and then...
187
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:35,248
Yeah, I'll figure it out.
188
00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:36,707
Thanks.
189
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,750
So, now that you've proven
to be sound of mind,
190
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,420
I'd love to let
you in on my plans
191
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,272
- for Lazaru and the Hot Springs.
- [Veronica grunts]
192
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,425
We're taking anti-aging science
to the brink of legality.
193
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,970
Edging with the legal
system is my love language.
194
00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,596
Cheers!
195
00:07:51,723 --> 00:07:54,142
Still waiting on that trail mix.
196
00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:57,520
I'll take baby pretzels
at this point, Jesus.
197
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,940
You're lucky I don't feed you
to the dark void of space.
198
00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:03,693
[button beeping]
199
00:08:07,739 --> 00:08:09,490
Ugh, no ladies room on the moon.
200
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,450
Fucking figures.
201
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,160
[man groans]
202
00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,829
[grunting]
203
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,124
Help me. Harley!
204
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,043
- [gasps]
- [groans]
205
00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:21,478
- Superman?
- [camera shutter clicks]
206
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,087
No. No photos.
207
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,922
Okay. Do you know
where the bathroom is?
208
00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:27,884
Quick! That button turns off
the kryptonite force field.
209
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:29,886
Uh... I don't
wanna get involved.
210
00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,763
What? What about the hero code?
211
00:08:31,846 --> 00:08:34,182
Okay, I am a neutral third
party these days, hello!
212
00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:35,933
Here for the free
drinks and mingling.
213
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,745
Oh, and, of course, to
support my bae killing Lex
214
00:08:37,769 --> 00:08:39,996
due to their business, but also
personal strifes, you know.
215
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,856
She won't be able to
defeat Lex. [groans]
216
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,859
He's become too powerful.
217
00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:50,156
Where's that over
the hill hosebeast?
218
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,033
[emcee] Welcome!
219
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:55,870
Our gracious host, Lex Luthor, has
planned a night of treats for his 40th.
220
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:59,040
We've got poppers,
crypto scratch-offs,
221
00:08:59,165 --> 00:09:03,544
and now, a performance
by Clayface.
222
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,713
I planned to join in person,
223
00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:08,383
but those monsters at
moon customs denied
224
00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,843
my emotional support capybara.
225
00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:12,804
[clears throat]
226
00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:15,139
[singing] ? Happy birth... ?
227
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:18,142
- 'Tis I! SuperLex Man.
- [guests clamoring]
228
00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,228
[cheering]
229
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,106
Okay.
230
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:27,568
He used the ozone laser to block
the sun until I was weak enough.
231
00:09:27,652 --> 00:09:30,696
I'm the most powerful man alive.
232
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:32,532
Then he took me prisoner,
233
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:35,284
took my cape,
drained my powers...
234
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:37,745
absorbed him physically
and mentally.
235
00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:38,913
and worst of all,
236
00:09:39,038 --> 00:09:40,540
- he has my hair!
- I have his hair.
237
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,417
Oh, fuck. Ivy!
238
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,585
Hey, what about me? [thuds]
239
00:09:44,711 --> 00:09:47,880
? Happy Birthday ?
240
00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:50,341
- ? To you ?
- Ivy, how big of you to come.
241
00:09:50,425 --> 00:09:52,677
Sadly, the caterers
didn't plan for crashers.
242
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,345
Oh, I'm not here to eat.
243
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:56,806
I'm here to kill you and then
wear your skin as a trophy.
244
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:58,266
[dog yelps]
245
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,019
[grunts]
246
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:03,980
[both growling]
247
00:10:04,105 --> 00:10:07,734
- [Lex grunts]
- [all exclaiming] Oh!
248
00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:12,655
How does it feel to be less
powerful than me in every way?
249
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,992
[scoffs] You have always
underestimated me.
250
00:10:16,117 --> 00:10:17,660
[grunts]
251
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:21,748
I think I estimated
you accurately.
252
00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:25,084
- Some light compliments, a gorgeous PR team...
- [Poison Ivy grunts]
253
00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:29,213
- and you became a perfectly ineffective puppet...
- Ah!
254
00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:32,967
- [grunts] - to warm my seat
at the LOD while I built this.
255
00:10:33,092 --> 00:10:35,470
[grunts] Oh, I... I... I'll
show you who's a puppet.
256
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:38,848
- [Lex grunts]
- [all gasp]
257
00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:45,104
[both grunting]
258
00:10:51,027 --> 00:10:52,570
This is why I don't
do private gigs.
259
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,907
I should have learned my
lesson at Cher's Easter brunch.
260
00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:58,117
[Veronica] I saw Tony
Robbins do this in Miami.
261
00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:00,369
Then he ate my gooch on the
sundeck for three hours.
262
00:11:00,495 --> 00:11:01,662
[grunts] Ugh!
263
00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:03,498
Oh, you think this
is a party trick?
264
00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:06,042
Wake up! Don't you see
how dangerous he is?
265
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,169
Fighting Lex at his own party?
266
00:11:08,294 --> 00:11:09,545
Such a bad look.
267
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,340
Powerful businesswomen
take an L and move on.
268
00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:14,801
I thought you would understand
that from my mentoring.
269
00:11:14,884 --> 00:11:17,845
Lose my number and
my real number.
270
00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:22,809
Screw this. I
don't need friends.
271
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:25,478
I... I'm a powerful
businesswoman.
272
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:27,021
[grunts]
273
00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:31,401
Lady trees, socially
conscious evil, splashy words.
274
00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:34,529
But ultimately, you
accomplish nothing.
275
00:11:34,612 --> 00:11:35,863
[laughs]
276
00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:39,450
Nobody pins Ivy in the corner.
277
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:41,828
[grunts]
278
00:11:43,913 --> 00:11:45,540
- [all cheering]
- [Harley yelps]
279
00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:46,833
[Poison Ivy grunts]
280
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:48,876
I get better workouts
digesting dairy.
281
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,378
[Harley and Poison Ivy scream]
282
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:52,213
[laughing]
283
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:56,592
[all cheering and laughing]
284
00:11:56,718 --> 00:11:58,720
This is so embarrassing.
285
00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,805
I just feel like
nobody... [sighs]
286
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,682
Nobody takes me seriously.
287
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:06,060
It... It's almost like you can't
change the system from the inside.
288
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:07,687
We both tried and
look what happened.
289
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:11,023
Wow, you really went through
it with the plus-ones, huh?
290
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,608
I actually meant the Bat family.
291
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:13,901
Screw those narcs.
292
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,903
I mean, you work so hard.
293
00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:19,741
I was basically the Bat family's
hot stepmom no one trusted.
294
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:21,200
Well, that's bullshit.
295
00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:22,845
And by the way, you'd
be the hottest stepmom.
296
00:12:22,869 --> 00:12:25,538
Plus, you and I both know
it's the kids you can't trust.
297
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:28,166
I wonder if Princess
Ladyfingers still exists,
298
00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:30,251
since, you know, we
stopped the apocalypse,
299
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,420
and, like, changed the
whole course of history.
300
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:33,963
We did do that, didn't we?
301
00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:35,008
You know what? Fuck it.
302
00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:36,841
We are so powerful.
303
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,760
Even if none of these
assholes can see it,
304
00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:40,344
we're gonna show them anyway.
305
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:42,548
Oh, I miss seeing that
destructive glimmer in your eye.
306
00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:43,765
[gasps] Let's do this!
307
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,975
For our daughter, who
may or may not exist
308
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,518
and may or may not
try to kill us.
309
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:48,770
But wait, what are we doing?
310
00:12:48,895 --> 00:12:51,105
We're gonna make the
world a better place.
311
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,941
Now, let's go find
that dumb ozone laser.
312
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:55,818
[gasps and squeals]
313
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,111
[moans]
314
00:12:58,863 --> 00:13:00,531
[funky instrumental
music playing]
315
00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:01,991
[Jeffrey groans]
316
00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:04,577
- Gotcha, bitch. Gotcha, bitch.
- [all cheering]
317
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:05,495
[laughing]
318
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,997
Jeffrey, you are a trip.
319
00:13:08,122 --> 00:13:10,166
It's funny 'cause I
don't even eat cake.
320
00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:12,502
- Seriously, someone take this...
- [motor revving]
321
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,132
[both grunt]
322
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:22,053
Every woman in STEM knows
323
00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:24,138
that lasers have
three functions.
324
00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:27,850
The task they're designed
for, removing hair follicles,
325
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,894
and blowing shit the fuck up.
326
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,289
- And that's the function we'll be using.
- [cell phone beeps]
327
00:13:32,313 --> 00:13:34,607
Ugh, God, Batgirl will
be so great at this
328
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,900
breaking into the laser thing.
329
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,610
She loves codes and
typing and shit.
330
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:38,653
Too bad she's mad at me.
331
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,071
- [yelps]
- Shit.
332
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,882
All right. Lex is
following us. Call Batgirl.
333
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,449
No, no, no. Listen.
334
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,511
- She needs to focus on her recovery, okay?
- [grunts]
335
00:13:45,535 --> 00:13:47,471
- Besides, I can't feed into this computer obsession.
- [grunts]
336
00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:48,895
She might become
one of those people
337
00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:50,581
who gets addicted
to her online life,
338
00:13:50,665 --> 00:13:53,083
and then forgets to eat anything
but salt and vinegar chips
339
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,377
- and dies of scurvy.
- [grunts]
340
00:13:56,504 --> 00:13:57,505
[engine revving]
341
00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:02,218
[grunts]
342
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,680
[tires screeching]
343
00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:06,889
Fucking call her, Harls.
344
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,850
- Fine. Ugh!
- [grunts]
345
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,327
- [cell phone buzzes]
- [line connects]
346
00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:12,520
[on phone] It's me,
Harley. Don't hang up.
347
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,331
I'm sure you're busy eating powdered
applesauce glaring at LeAnne, but...
348
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,190
Stop treating me like a victim.
349
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,067
I get enough from
my dad, my doctors,
350
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:21,237
the old lady who comes in here
and thinks I'm her dead husband.
351
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:23,781
Uh... Didn't know you felt
that way. But, uh, yeah.
352
00:14:23,865 --> 00:14:25,968
- I'm calling you for serious world saving help.
- [grunts]
353
00:14:25,992 --> 00:14:27,352
Ivy's here. You're
on speakerphone.
354
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:29,203
- [cell phone squeaks]
- Hi, Ivy.
355
00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:33,541
Hi. Um, so can you, like,
hack into a moon buggy?
356
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,543
Easy. Hit me with
the model number.
357
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:38,379
- [Poison Ivy grunts]
- [Harley yelps]
358
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:41,132
It's printed above
the left bumper.
359
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:42,550
[Poison Ivy] M as
in motherfucker,
360
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:43,718
B as in bitch,
361
00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,678
dash, 0, 5, 6, 7.
362
00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:48,389
[Harley] And, listen. Take it
slow. If you can't do it...
363
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,390
I'm in.
364
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:53,061
My buggy's busted.
365
00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:55,304
[Batgirl on intercom] The
destination has been rerouted.
366
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:58,816
[both cheer and laugh]
367
00:14:58,900 --> 00:14:59,942
[grunting]
368
00:15:00,985 --> 00:15:02,403
[screaming]
369
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,408
[grunting]
370
00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:11,245
I demand to talk to
whoever's in charge.
371
00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:12,580
Perhaps your male superior?
372
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:16,375
This is a one-woman
operation, asshole.
373
00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:19,754
Batgirl did it! We're in.
374
00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:21,672
What... What are you doing?
375
00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:25,051
[Poison Ivy] Mowing down tech, oil,
and cosmetic pharmaceutical companies
376
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:27,512
in the name of socially
conscious evil.
377
00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,681
Oh, I love the plan, very
emotionally cool, obvs,
378
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,975
but maybe first, let's
evacuate the buildings, huh?
379
00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:35,186
I mean, do we really
have to, or...
380
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,438
I just remotely pulled all
the fire alarms in Gotham.
381
00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,440
Okay, now you're
just showing off.
382
00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:42,068
Who we gonna blow
up first, hot stuff?
383
00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:44,445
Let's rain fire on EWBC!
384
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:45,613
[Harley squeals]
385
00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,870
Veronica Cale's company, boom!
386
00:15:52,954 --> 00:15:55,790
Talia's Wayne shit, boom!
387
00:15:55,873 --> 00:16:00,294
That overpriced oyster place
that isn't even good, boom!
388
00:16:01,963 --> 00:16:03,214
What the zuck?
389
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,507
[man mumbles inaudibly]
390
00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:09,011
What the fuck?
391
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:11,305
[upbeat music playing]
392
00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:12,950
- [Batgirl on speaker] Evacuate the building immediately.
- [capybara screeches]
393
00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,684
[Clayface] Drats!
Bankrupt again.
394
00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:18,646
- Curse you, White Collar Wine.
- [crowd clamoring]
395
00:16:22,191 --> 00:16:24,360
[dubstep music playing]
396
00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:28,823
The world needs Batman
again. [snaps fingers]
397
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,161
Do it. Call Judge Chase.
398
00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:36,831
Tell him his stepdaughter got an
internship at WayneTone Records.
399
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,792
[lawyer on phone] I'll
have you out by lunch.
400
00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:44,964
I love when we're
in sync like this.
401
00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:46,549
Yeah, like back in '53,
402
00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:49,761
when Dizzy Gillespie horned
it up with Charles Mingus.
403
00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,805
Turn that thing off. You're
gonna break the moon.
404
00:16:52,889 --> 00:16:54,223
[grunting]
405
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,684
Yeah, and for my
motherfucking encore,
406
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,770
the Legion of Kaboom!
407
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:00,063
What? Ivy, are you sure?
408
00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,898
What about everything
you've built?
409
00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:03,900
I didn't build anything, Harls.
410
00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:06,777
I was just part of the problem.
411
00:17:13,159 --> 00:17:14,785
[crowd screaming]
412
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:17,029
[Batgirl on speaker] Evacuate
the building immediately.
413
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,542
So do we work from
home now? Or...
414
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:22,709
Gotcha, bitch.
415
00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:24,545
Hey, this is kind of
weird for me to say,
416
00:17:24,629 --> 00:17:27,632
but your occasional
willingness to help people
417
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:31,052
even while blowing the shit
out of them is inspiring to me.
418
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:34,013
Like, tote bag level-inspiring.
419
00:17:34,097 --> 00:17:35,556
Aw, thanks, Ive.
420
00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:37,284
But it's a real pain in the
ass being in the middle.
421
00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:39,268
Baby, you're not in the middle.
422
00:17:39,394 --> 00:17:40,728
You're on the outside.
423
00:17:40,812 --> 00:17:42,688
And that's what I love
about you. I mean,
424
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,566
it's your... It's
your superpower.
425
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:46,609
[explosion]
426
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,781
- [grunts]
- [device charging]
427
00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:54,784
Steppenwolf! You came?
428
00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:56,369
No RSVP, no problem.
429
00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,204
The caterers planned
for crashers.
430
00:17:59,372 --> 00:18:00,540
[Poison Ivy] Thanks, Steppy.
431
00:18:01,249 --> 00:18:02,792
No, wait!
432
00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:05,211
- I thought we were business bros.
- [device beeps]
433
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:09,882
We gotta get out of here.
434
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:13,845
[Jeffrey screeches]
435
00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:19,267
- Oh, shit. Hold my leash.
- [Joker grunts]
436
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,110
What... What happened?
You forget your purse?
437
00:18:25,565 --> 00:18:29,193
You gonna tell all the hoes in the
Justice League a normie saved you?
438
00:18:29,277 --> 00:18:31,112
I always knew you were a hero.
439
00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:32,780
I'm better than a hero.
440
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,741
I'm Harley fucking Quinn.
441
00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,676
I started a Fortune 500
company just to commit a crime
442
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:55,803
worthy enough to
land me in Blackgate.
443
00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:58,681
The food is good,
but not that good.
444
00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:00,433
Oh. [chuckles] No.
445
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,828
While I'm intrigued to dine at
Dominique Crenn's commissary pop-up,
446
00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:05,688
- I actually did it all to be reunited
with... [gasps] - [door beeps]
447
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:07,148
Master Bruce.
448
00:19:07,273 --> 00:19:09,442
Hey, Alfred. Got my
own ride. Thanks.
449
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,819
- I'll see you at the Manor.
- [reporters clamoring]
450
00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:12,945
[groans]
451
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,786
Oh, shitstick. Did I forget
my own birthday again?
452
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:22,246
What?
453
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,582
- You and me are gonna have some fun...
- [Joker yelps]
454
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:27,210
A24 horror movie style.
455
00:19:27,293 --> 00:19:28,812
My daughter turned
me on to those films.
456
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,588
I don't get them,
but I do understand
457
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:34,050
what jumper cables can
do to a man's 'nads.
458
00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:36,135
Someone just shoot me already.
459
00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:40,014
Or at least take me to the
printers to pick up my T-shirts.
460
00:19:40,098 --> 00:19:41,516
[heroic music playing]
461
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:49,816
- [moon rumbling]
- [rustling]
462
00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:53,903
God, longest pee ever.
463
00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:57,073
I just had to pay my respects
to the GOAT. [exhales]
464
00:19:57,198 --> 00:20:00,243
Hey, so what's next for a
couple of outsiders like us?
465
00:20:00,368 --> 00:20:01,411
I don't know.
466
00:20:01,536 --> 00:20:02,776
But, we're gonna do it together.
467
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:03,830
Right, peanut?
468
00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:05,164
[both moaning]
469
00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:07,166
Wow, that is messed up.
470
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:08,459
Oh, come on.
471
00:20:08,543 --> 00:20:10,086
My hands weren't even
in her pants yet.
472
00:20:10,211 --> 00:20:13,172
I was talking about the moon.
473
00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,842
Thanks for your help up there,
by the way. You did good.
474
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,553
I wouldn't be here without
you, you little nerd.
475
00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:21,097
Well, I'm glad you called me.
476
00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:24,225
It felt good to do something that
matters with people I care about.
477
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:28,229
Even if you did end up blowing up
half of Gotham with a laser, you B.
478
00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:29,564
Fuck the rules.
479
00:20:29,647 --> 00:20:31,357
F the rules indeed,
480
00:20:31,441 --> 00:20:34,694
That's why I can't
stay in the Bat family.
481
00:20:34,777 --> 00:20:35,737
I quit, too.
482
00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:37,113
Shit, yeah, dog!
483
00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:39,240
Wait.
484
00:20:39,323 --> 00:20:42,177
So is that why you called us out here to
the cemetery in the middle of the night?
485
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,911
I thought you guys
invited me here.
486
00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:47,415
Mm, sorry for the late-night
theatrics, ladies.
487
00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:51,461
Oh, wow. I mean, hey.
[chuckles] It's you.
488
00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:55,048
There you are. Where
you been, girl?
489
00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:56,340
[grunts and thuds] Yikes.
490
00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:58,217
I'm all right. I'm good.
491
00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:02,096
I... I am standing on a casket,
which is, you know, not awesome.
492
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,932
But I was just doing a
little light grave robbing
493
00:21:05,058 --> 00:21:09,020
when I stumbled on some missing
booty I thought my interest you.
494
00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:10,688
Someone dug up Nightwing.
495
00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:13,566
And they left the custom casket?
496
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,085
[whispering] That
was very expensive.
497
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:18,613
Selina, I'm sorry. Are
you looking out for us?
498
00:21:18,696 --> 00:21:21,949
Aren't you supposed to be
on some art heist in Monaco?
499
00:21:22,075 --> 00:21:26,287
Maybe the call of the Gotham City
sirens was just too seductive.
500
00:21:26,412 --> 00:21:27,789
Pinch my fucking nips!
501
00:21:27,914 --> 00:21:30,291
The Gotham City Sirens is
a good nickname for us.
502
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:33,920
Well, I... I don't know if it's,
like, better than the Cobb squad,
503
00:21:34,003 --> 00:21:35,773
- but, yeah, you know...
- [all mumbling and disagreeing]
504
00:21:35,797 --> 00:21:38,966
Um, what about
the birds of prey?
505
00:21:39,050 --> 00:21:40,968
- No.
- I'm not a bird, you know what I mean?
506
00:21:41,052 --> 00:21:42,321
- There's no flying, really.
- None of us are even bird-themed.
507
00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:44,097
Well, that settles what's next.
508
00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:47,975
The Gotham City Sirens are gonna
find out who stole Nightwing.
509
00:21:48,101 --> 00:21:50,269
I mean, we'll obviously
take the weekend off.
510
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:51,705
What's the worst
thing that can happen?
511
00:21:51,729 --> 00:21:52,980
He's already dead.
512
00:21:53,106 --> 00:21:55,149
[Harley, Poison Ivy
and Catwoman laugh]
513
00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:56,418
[Batgirl] It's not that funny.
514
00:21:56,442 --> 00:21:58,152
[bell dings]
515
00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:00,530
Now, Damian, don't be alarmed.
516
00:22:00,613 --> 00:22:03,533
Your friend will be a little
different, but better.
517
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:05,827
[Nightwing groans]
518
00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:13,209
Where the fuck is Harley Quinn?
519
00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:15,086
[Talia chuckles]
520
00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:17,171
[theme music playing]
521
00:22:17,221 --> 00:22:21,771
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