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1
00:00:00,116 --> 00:00:04,900
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
2
00:00:08,896 --> 00:00:10,429
- Girl: Here it is.
- (groaning)
3
00:00:10,531 --> 00:00:14,200
- Oh! That is disgusting!
- That is some ratchet shit.
4
00:00:14,302 --> 00:00:16,235
- Oh, my God.
- That looks like a gnarled root.
5
00:00:16,337 --> 00:00:18,437
- (laughter)
- You have to rethink premed
6
00:00:18,539 --> 00:00:21,841
if you can't handle
looking at an erect penis!
7
00:00:21,943 --> 00:00:24,710
- Erect? What kind of doctor are
you trying to be? - Let me see.
8
00:00:24,812 --> 00:00:28,614
Oh, that is so gross. Why? Why
would anybody wanna look at that?
9
00:00:28,716 --> 00:00:30,916
No! That's what he sent her
after she broke up with him.
10
00:00:30,952 --> 00:00:32,429
- She broke up with him?
- That's aggro.
11
00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:33,986
- She broke up with him?
- Yeah.
12
00:00:34,088 --> 00:00:35,688
She was gonna get weed for me from him.
13
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,489
Oh, that is not gonna happen anymore.
14
00:00:37,592 --> 00:00:40,726
- How do you even study stoned?
- I don't know. I'm a genius?
15
00:00:40,828 --> 00:00:42,773
- Oh, she's a genius.
- That's what we were missing.
16
00:00:42,797 --> 00:00:44,730
It doesn't mess anything
up, so just let me...
17
00:00:44,832 --> 00:00:46,899
- You do you, girl.
- You live your life.
18
00:00:47,001 --> 00:00:49,201
I need to pick up my
cousin from her youth group thing,
19
00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:51,014
- so I gotta go.
- I gotta go too. I'll walk with you.
20
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:53,460
- Okay, sounds good. Bye, girl.
- All: Bye!
21
00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,674
Why does Chantal have that picture?
22
00:00:55,776 --> 00:00:58,611
I was wondering the same thing.
She's keeping that dick pic.
23
00:00:58,713 --> 00:01:00,880
Here.
24
00:01:00,982 --> 00:01:04,149
- It's okay, I guess.
- You don't know anything.
25
00:01:05,987 --> 00:01:07,419
Go pick whatever you want, okay?
26
00:01:07,521 --> 00:01:09,154
- And get me a drink, yeah?
- Yeah!
27
00:01:09,257 --> 00:01:10,222
You can choose.
28
00:01:10,324 --> 00:01:12,258
Um, can I have a pack of
those guys over there?
29
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,226
- Can I see your ID?
- Yeah.
30
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:24,103
You need to be 21 to buy cigarettes.
31
00:01:24,205 --> 00:01:26,538
Really? Oh, well, I'm from Texas.
32
00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:29,241
You only have to be 18 there, so...
33
00:01:29,343 --> 00:01:34,880
Can you make an exception for
me just this once, please?
34
00:01:34,982 --> 00:01:36,815
- You don't look that tall.
- I am that tall.
35
00:01:36,918 --> 00:01:39,096
- But you don't look that!
- The half is very important.
36
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,226
I am five-three and a half.
37
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,011
Well, well, you may be five-three, but...
38
00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:43,355
- No, I don't think so.
- Baba!
39
00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:44,504
Hey.
40
00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:46,451
_
41
00:01:46,452 --> 00:01:47,376
_
42
00:01:47,428 --> 00:01:48,576
_
43
00:01:48,577 --> 00:01:50,937
I have a lot of work, though.
My biology professor hates us.
44
00:01:51,271 --> 00:01:52,140
_
45
00:01:52,142 --> 00:01:53,902
- You can handle it.
- How were your classes?
46
00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,535
Same as always. It looks
like my students hate me.
47
00:01:56,637 --> 00:01:58,938
- I got a 98 on my Mandarin.
- Very good. Very good.
48
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,373
- _
- (mother speaking on phone)
49
00:02:01,475 --> 00:02:03,008
Eesha: I'm sorry. I got busy earlier,
50
00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:05,550
and then I had to pick up
Nasim from the masjid, so I'm sorry.
51
00:02:05,646 --> 00:02:09,615
Yeah, we're walking up the
stairs with him right now.
52
00:02:10,157 --> 00:02:11,451
_
53
00:02:12,086 --> 00:02:13,819
Faruq khaloo says hi.
54
00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:15,425
There's this fish lab I need
a little bit of help on.
55
00:02:15,449 --> 00:02:17,034
I'll help you with the fish lab.
56
00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:18,891
- Sorry.
- What's that smell, baba?
57
00:02:18,993 --> 00:02:22,061
That smell? _ Okay?
58
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:24,296
Every time you get that
smell, you walk the other way.
59
00:02:24,398 --> 00:02:26,158
Well, I smell it in the
hallway all the time.
60
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,623
- So good, now you know...
- (mother speaks on phone)
61
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,083
Sorry.
62
00:02:29,097 --> 00:02:29,697
_
63
00:02:29,698 --> 00:02:30,765
Just pass it over.
64
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:35,754
- Beta, you can remove the head
thing. We're home. - I like it, though.
65
00:02:36,147 --> 00:02:37,444
_
66
00:02:37,445 --> 00:02:39,047
_
67
00:02:39,048 --> 00:02:40,831
_
68
00:02:41,983 --> 00:02:45,517
We talked, like,
God, twice already today.
69
00:02:45,619 --> 00:02:47,739
She really needs something
better to do with her time.
70
00:02:47,894 --> 00:02:49,109
_
71
00:02:49,457 --> 00:02:50,723
It's a matter of adjustment.
72
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,945
I'm sure we'll be the same
when Nasim goes to college.
73
00:02:52,994 --> 00:02:55,305
Maybe I can go to Texas A&M
and live with Khaloo and Khala?
74
00:02:55,329 --> 00:02:58,998
Oh, they'd actually love that.
You'd be their dream daughter, Nasim.
75
00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,973
_
76
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:02,676
_
77
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:03,802
Harvard.
78
00:03:03,904 --> 00:03:06,350
Oh, so does that mean you're gonna
actually let her live in the dorms?
79
00:03:06,374 --> 00:03:08,014
This is all a little
bit too far off, huh?
80
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:12,111
- Let's just enjoy the tacos. - Can we
have pasanday gosht? Like naanni's?
81
00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:14,401
_
82
00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,845
Eesha (whispering): Nasim.
83
00:03:25,255 --> 00:03:27,989
Nasim, are you awake?
84
00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:36,831
? ?
85
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,079
(phone chimes)
86
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:18,005
? ?
87
00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:36,524
_
88
00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:39,694
I was with friends who smoke,
kahloojee. It wasn't me.
89
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:44,765
Can we just please
agree that I'm not stupid?
90
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,535
(speaks Urdu)
91
00:04:47,637 --> 00:04:49,637
Don't worry, I'm not going
to tell your mother.
92
00:04:50,114 --> 00:04:51,227
_
93
00:04:51,228 --> 00:04:53,168
_
94
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:54,632
_
95
00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:56,212
_
96
00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:59,680
But don't bring that filthy
shit around my kids or in my house.
97
00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:00,881
(speaks Urdu)
98
00:05:13,329 --> 00:05:16,831
(whispering)
99
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,684
Man (on TV): Dealing with
Heidi. How was the club?
100
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,586
- I did "Hot in Here."
- You didn't!
101
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:41,322
- Woman: I did.
- Man: Talent show style?
102
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:45,593
(TV plays indistinctly)
103
00:05:45,695 --> 00:05:49,897
? Whenever you're ready ?
104
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:53,267
- (clears throat)
- It's not over yet.
105
00:05:54,055 --> 00:05:55,852
_
106
00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:57,371
Good night, gundai.
107
00:05:57,767 --> 00:06:00,053
_
108
00:06:00,576 --> 00:06:02,309
He's so ridiculous.
109
00:06:03,746 --> 00:06:05,279
Are you going to be up for a while?
110
00:06:05,381 --> 00:06:08,582
I'm probably gonna be
up for a couple more hours.
111
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:10,562
Can you turn off the
lights before you go to bed?
112
00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:11,786
- Yeah, of course.
- Okay.
113
00:06:12,174 --> 00:06:13,515
_
114
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:18,392
- (muffled voices murmuring)
- (floorboards creaking)
115
00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:21,896
(muffled music thumping)
116
00:07:07,143 --> 00:07:11,004
_
117
00:07:11,005 --> 00:07:12,703
_
118
00:07:14,037 --> 00:07:16,122
_
119
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,483
_
120
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,187
- Okay. - Are you sure you
don't want to come with us?
121
00:07:20,289 --> 00:07:22,156
They're offering
them at the student union,
122
00:07:22,258 --> 00:07:24,658
so I'm gonna get 'em there
'cause I have a lot of work to do.
123
00:07:25,247 --> 00:07:26,795
_
124
00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:28,440
_
125
00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:30,698
- Or else you're gonna burn out.
- I will.
126
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,377
But first can you help
me with this please?
127
00:07:32,401 --> 00:07:33,968
Yeah, of course.
128
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,570
Don't forget you said you'd
make pasanday gosht tonight!
129
00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:40,708
Okay, Nasim. I'll see.
Let me put my shoes on.
130
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,711
Okay. Mohammed! Zishan!
131
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,176
_
132
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:49,984
Fight Zone. You guys want some help?
133
00:07:50,086 --> 00:07:52,586
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure. Yeah, no problem.
134
00:07:52,688 --> 00:07:54,255
- Ready?
- Yeah.
135
00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:56,924
Oh, here we go.
136
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,228
- (sighs) - Wow. I really
thought I was much stronger...
137
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:05,866
(laughs) than I actually
am. Watch out, boys.
138
00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:08,736
Ah! There you go.
139
00:08:08,838 --> 00:08:10,905
- Thank you.
- No problem. Have a good one.
140
00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:13,719
I started defrosting some lamb. Can
you take it out of the refrigerator,
141
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,777
- and we can put it in the rice?
- Okay.
142
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:31,492
- Hey, what's up?
- Woman: Come in. He's here.
143
00:08:58,387 --> 00:09:00,354
- (muffled voices)
- (door opens)
144
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,723
The Guy: Thank you.
145
00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:07,328
Oh, my God.
146
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:08,696
Hey.
147
00:09:09,999 --> 00:09:11,298
Hey.
148
00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:16,537
Hey, um, can I buy some?
149
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,406
What do you mean?
150
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:21,475
You know what I mean.
151
00:09:21,577 --> 00:09:23,010
No, I don't know what you mean.
152
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:26,013
Um, I mean, I live right
there. I can smell it.
153
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:27,748
Um...
154
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,654
Did I see you downstairs
with your mom just now?
155
00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:36,257
- Yeah, that's my aunt.
- Okay.
156
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:38,025
Um, sorry. No, I can't.
157
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:39,927
Come on, dude! What's
the deal? I have money.
158
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,063
- I don't sell to kids, man.
- I'm not a kid. I'm in college.
159
00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:45,796
- Well, get weed at college then.
- I can't.
160
00:09:45,899 --> 00:09:47,932
It's complicated. I lost my connect.
161
00:09:48,034 --> 00:09:50,468
I get it, but I have this
system where people give me
162
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,404
a referral of other people, and
that's how you get weed from me.
163
00:09:53,506 --> 00:09:56,474
So I'm sorry, I can't help you today.
164
00:09:56,576 --> 00:10:00,711
- I can't go bending the rules.
- (sighs) Okay.
165
00:10:00,813 --> 00:10:03,381
Maybe ask your neighbors?
166
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:24,001
? ?
167
00:10:52,799 --> 00:10:57,568
? ?
168
00:11:31,337 --> 00:11:33,070
Eesha! What are you doing?
169
00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:35,640
- My mom's home. She's looking
for you. - What time is it?
170
00:11:35,742 --> 00:11:37,608
- 4:30.
- Shit!
171
00:11:40,713 --> 00:11:41,912
_
172
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:45,160
Kunza: It would have tasted
better if there was lamb in it.
173
00:11:45,161 --> 00:11:45,972
_
174
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,919
Yes, but we also have a niece who
can't follow simple directions.
175
00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:50,314
Khala, I'm sorry. I forgot.
176
00:11:50,339 --> 00:11:52,347
You okay, beta? You look a little tired.
177
00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:55,326
Yeah, I'm okay. I've just had
a long week. I'll be fine.
178
00:11:55,428 --> 00:11:59,530
- Maybe you shouldn't go to Rabia's
tonight. - No, seriously. I'm fine.
179
00:11:59,632 --> 00:12:01,999
? Young Falcs make that beat drop ?
180
00:12:02,101 --> 00:12:04,235
? Ooohwee, y'all slackin' ?
181
00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:06,804
? Came to the show and
the scene got crackin' ?
182
00:12:06,906 --> 00:12:08,773
? Young Falcs made the beat drop ?
183
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:11,676
? And the girls got low and
the buns got clappin' nonstop ?
184
00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:13,577
? Like, ooohwee, y'all slackin' ?
185
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,747
? Came to the show and the
scene got crackin' off top ?
186
00:12:16,849 --> 00:12:18,382
? Falcons made the beat drop ?
187
00:12:18,484 --> 00:12:21,752
? And the girls got low and
the buns got clappin' nonstop ?
188
00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:23,321
? Ooohwee, y'all ratchet ?
189
00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:26,290
? Came to the show and the
scene got crackin' off top ?
190
00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,292
? 'Cause if I'm in
the spot not rappin' ?
191
00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:30,861
? I be with the squad
boss mackin', mackin' ?
192
00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:33,531
? I be with the squad
boss mackin', mackin' ?
193
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:35,466
? I be with the squad boss mackin' ?
194
00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:47,778
(sighs) Oh man.
195
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,373
Shit.
196
00:13:25,985 --> 00:13:28,386
(door unlocks)
197
00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:41,270
_
198
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:42,833
Huh?
199
00:13:42,935 --> 00:13:44,602
(woman speaking on phone)
200
00:13:44,704 --> 00:13:46,470
Your ami is trying to
get in touch with you.
201
00:13:46,572 --> 00:13:48,639
I'm sorry, I left my phone.
202
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:50,775
You left something on the roof.
203
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:52,489
_
204
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:55,780
(mother speaking on phone)
205
00:14:26,746 --> 00:14:30,181
Man: So the ultrasound
showed no signs of cancer,
206
00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:32,283
but you did test positive for chlamydia,
207
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:34,785
so that's likely what's
causing your discomfort.
208
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:37,788
Now, on the plus side, chlamydia
is very treatable.
209
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,990
I'm gonna write you a
prescription for doxycycline.
210
00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:43,594
You're going to need to
refrain from sex for at least one week
211
00:14:43,696 --> 00:14:48,098
until both you and your
partner are treated, all right?
212
00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:49,834
Yeah.
213
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:04,114
God! Nobody's answering their
phone or their emails this week.
214
00:15:04,217 --> 00:15:07,618
- I'm still waiting for a
response from guess who? - Hmm?
215
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,489
- Miwa.
- Ugh, Miwa.
216
00:15:11,591 --> 00:15:13,824
Well, you know, maybe she
took off for the long weekend
217
00:15:13,926 --> 00:15:16,760
and got into a robbery at
the convenience store.
218
00:15:16,863 --> 00:15:20,764
911? This is Miwa. I'm at the Wawa.
219
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:24,301
(laughs) How do you know about Wawa?
220
00:15:24,403 --> 00:15:26,370
The Wawa? There's a Wawa near where, uh,
221
00:15:26,472 --> 00:15:29,073
Becky's parents have their lake house.
222
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:30,641
- Okay. Okay. Yes.
- Wawa.
223
00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:33,444
I've been working on
that Miwa-Wawa gag for ages.
224
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:36,280
- Didn't think that would get a laugh.
- (chuckles)
225
00:15:36,382 --> 00:15:41,652
A bit of niche, regional humor.
Are you not entertained?
226
00:15:41,754 --> 00:15:45,656
I am very entertained by you.
227
00:15:49,595 --> 00:15:51,629
Oh, if you guys don't have
any plans this weekend,
228
00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:53,697
you should come by
Leo's birthday party Saturday.
229
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:56,901
- Oh! That'd be great.
- Yeah? Uh, no pressure.
230
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:59,670
- Yeah. Is it a late one? Should
we get us a sitter? - Oh, yeah.
231
00:15:59,772 --> 00:16:02,351
- Definitely get a sitter. - Um, well,
let me check in with the boss.
232
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,475
See if she's made any
plans that I don't know about.
233
00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:08,245
It's a Moroccan theme. So, if you want,
you can dress in that, you know, style.
234
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:11,348
Oh, hello! You could have opened
with that. I'm all over that.
235
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:13,450
- (phone rings)
- A-ha, speak of the devil.
236
00:16:13,553 --> 00:16:14,718
Hi, honey.
237
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:17,021
Hey, are you with, uh, Colon right now?
238
00:16:17,123 --> 00:16:19,456
- It's Colin.
- Leo: Well, there's only one L.
239
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:21,659
Okay. Yeah, you're good at spelling.
240
00:16:21,761 --> 00:16:25,796
Can you ask him if the weed
guy that we all use also has E?
241
00:16:25,898 --> 00:16:28,198
Yeah. Oh, hey. Um, he wants to know,
242
00:16:28,301 --> 00:16:31,368
do you if the, uh, weed guy sells E?
243
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:34,305
I... hmm... I
think he's just a weed guy.
244
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,507
Oh, he thinks he's just a weed guy.
245
00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:39,009
Oh, no, man. I haven't
sold E since college,
246
00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:41,712
but, uh, I sell mushrooms. They're fun.
247
00:16:41,814 --> 00:16:43,948
I'm doing them tomorrow
for my birthday actually.
248
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,861
Uh, I don't think we're
really a 'shrooms crowd.
249
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:48,752
Oh, did you hear
that? It's his birthday too.
250
00:16:48,854 --> 00:16:51,221
- A couple of Scorpios.
- Oh, really?
251
00:16:51,324 --> 00:16:53,524
- What year? Whoa.
- Uh, '84.
252
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,759
(gasps) Holy shit! You're a baby.
253
00:16:55,861 --> 00:16:58,862
- Oh, no. I don't think so.
- This is really quite the beard.
254
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:01,532
- Can I grab it?
- Uh...
255
00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,535
Uh, well, yeah. Go for it.
256
00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:08,539
(gasps) It feels like pubic hair.
257
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:12,109
Y... yeah, I guess it does. Thanks.
258
00:17:12,211 --> 00:17:14,011
- Is that weird?
- No, it's not weird.
259
00:17:14,113 --> 00:17:17,915
I was actually thinking, yeah, that
is what my pubic hair feels like, so...
260
00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:20,517
Was that weird? I just ate a
pot cookie about an hour ago,
261
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:24,154
so I think it's kicking in,
if I can be honest.
262
00:17:24,256 --> 00:17:27,858
My... Weed nuts. Thoughts?
263
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,495
Um, you know, I actually
don't do a lot of cooking,
264
00:17:31,597 --> 00:17:34,798
but the main rule with
edibles is just don't eat too much.
265
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:38,268
Hey, if you get off work early
tomorrow and you don't have any plans,
266
00:17:38,371 --> 00:17:40,804
you should come by and
celebrate your birthday with us.
267
00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:43,774
Oh, that's very nice.
Thank you. Yeah, maybe...
268
00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:45,876
Yeah. Bring your wife.
269
00:17:45,978 --> 00:17:49,179
Oh, yeah. Um, yeah.
270
00:17:49,281 --> 00:17:52,383
Maybe I will. I work
till, like, 11:30 usually, so...
271
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:53,917
That's okay. We go late.
272
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,853
Okay.
273
00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:58,889
Well, then have a good
time. Maybe I'll see you.
274
00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:00,924
- Don't eat too many nuts.
- Got it.
275
00:18:01,027 --> 00:18:03,160
Happy birthday. Later,
guys! Thanks for the invite.
276
00:18:03,262 --> 00:18:06,330
- Same to you.
- (grinder whirring)
277
00:18:07,566 --> 00:18:10,501
What the fuck, Gi? Why did you do that?
278
00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:14,405
- What? - He doesn't want to
hang with us on his birthday.
279
00:18:14,507 --> 00:18:17,427
- Oh, you don't know that. - Well, you
have to think about everybody else.
280
00:18:17,476 --> 00:18:19,054
They don't know him.
He... We don't know him.
281
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:21,145
Nobody knows Colin and
Becky. They're coming.
282
00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:24,214
- What? Why the fuck...
- (scoffs, sighs)
283
00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:26,884
- ...did you invite them to
my birthday? - Oh, God, Leo.
284
00:18:26,986 --> 00:18:30,254
Leo, Colin is actually my friend.
285
00:18:30,356 --> 00:18:33,257
I know that, and I am cool with that,
286
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,025
but I just think you should ask me...
287
00:18:35,127 --> 00:18:37,161
What the fuck is your problem?
288
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,066
(sighs, mutters)
289
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:44,902
Gigi: Jesus Christ. Then change.
290
00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:48,038
I mean, don't dress up. Dress
up. Wear normal clothes.
291
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:49,573
Who the fuck cares, Leo?
292
00:18:49,675 --> 00:18:52,176
I'm not going to be some
contrary asshole in street wear
293
00:18:52,278 --> 00:18:55,079
- just because it's my birthday.
- Street wear?
294
00:18:55,181 --> 00:18:57,614
You think you're not an asshole
when it's not your birthday?
295
00:18:57,717 --> 00:18:59,528
- Nice double negative.
- Yeah, nice shitty attitude.
296
00:18:59,552 --> 00:19:03,187
Don't you do this! This
is so fucked right now!
297
00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:05,422
(sighs)
298
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:07,524
Fuck it. I... Goddamn
it. I'm gonna cancel.
299
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:09,927
I'm gonna email everybody,
and I'm gonna tell them
300
00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:12,930
it's over, that we're sick.
I wouldn't be wrong, would I?
301
00:19:13,032 --> 00:19:16,100
Yeah. Oh, now you want to
tell people we've got the clap?
302
00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:18,802
The clap is gonorrhea.
Get your shit straight.
303
00:19:18,904 --> 00:19:21,238
Well, I'm glad I spent
$150 on this fucking cake then,
304
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,027
in addition to everything
else you see laid
305
00:19:23,052 --> 00:19:24,753
- before you.
- I didn't ask you to do anything.
306
00:19:24,777 --> 00:19:26,321
Would it kill you to
notice my throw pillows?
307
00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:27,789
Excuse me for living
halfway to a hundred.
308
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:28,890
- Oh, okay.
- You know what?
309
00:19:28,914 --> 00:19:29,847
(doorbell buzzes)
310
00:19:29,949 --> 00:19:32,616
Who... Fifteen minutes early to a party?
311
00:19:32,718 --> 00:19:34,718
Who fucking does this? I hate this.
312
00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,254
- Hello? - Colin (on intercom):
Hey! It's Colin and Becky!
313
00:19:37,356 --> 00:19:40,891
- Sorry we're a bit early.
- Oh, that's okay! Come on up!
314
00:19:40,993 --> 00:19:42,092
I'm changing into pants!
315
00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:43,727
Man: No, I'm telling you,
316
00:19:43,829 --> 00:19:45,295
if you had told me ten years ago
317
00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:48,465
that a one bedroom shithole
in Greenpoint
318
00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:50,807
would go for two million
dollars, I would have, you know,
319
00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:53,070
I would have bought a
couple of one bedroom shitholes
320
00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:55,172
- in Greenpoint, you know?
- You were smart to buy
321
00:19:55,274 --> 00:19:57,586
- what you did when you did.
- Can we stop talking about real estate?
322
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,788
- It is seriously so boring.
- I know no one wants to talk about it,
323
00:19:59,812 --> 00:20:01,923
- but he's on the spectrum, right?
- Nobody wants to say anything.
324
00:20:01,947 --> 00:20:03,725
- Okay, right. - But why don't
they just get him tested?
325
00:20:03,749 --> 00:20:04,982
They're afraid of the results.
326
00:20:05,084 --> 00:20:06,361
I'm just worried about my daughter.
327
00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:07,929
Wish she'd stop wetting the fucking bed.
328
00:20:07,953 --> 00:20:09,273
She's in the fifth fucking grade.
329
00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:11,421
- Oh, that's a beautiful tunic.
- It's a jalaba.
330
00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:13,423
- Oh!
- I got it in Morocco last winter.
331
00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,059
I'm dying to go to Morocco, but
every time we get a break,
332
00:20:16,162 --> 00:20:18,228
- we have to go visit Colin's family.
- It's great.
333
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:19,696
- Mm.
- They have amazing textiles.
334
00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:21,565
- Yeah, I know.
- I went nuts buying fabric.
335
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:24,201
Why don't you get Rachel
Comey to send you over there?
336
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:26,224
Oh, well, I wish she would, but I think
337
00:20:26,249 --> 00:20:28,362
it's more likely she's
gonna send me to LA.
338
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,608
- We're opening a store.
- Oh, no, no, no. That's not fun.
339
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:34,945
Well, I kind of like LA. I've
lived here my whole life,
340
00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:37,047
- so at some point...
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
341
00:20:37,149 --> 00:20:40,117
You're not taking my Colin way
from me. We just got financing!
342
00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:43,654
Well, uh... I was just telling
her about LA. Just a nascent idea.
343
00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:45,856
It's not. Can I, um, top anyone off?
344
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:48,826
- I'm good.
- I love this.
345
00:20:48,928 --> 00:20:51,161
- Oh, this? Thank you.
- God.
346
00:20:51,263 --> 00:20:52,830
- You know where I got this?
- Where?
347
00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:55,292
You know where we were scouting
the other day, off Atlantic?
348
00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:56,878
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I went back there.
349
00:20:56,902 --> 00:20:58,513
- You didn't go back.
- Mm-hm. It was awesome.
350
00:20:58,537 --> 00:21:00,370
And, uh, then I made the gross mistake
351
00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:02,284
of going downstairs and
having that Yemenite food
352
00:21:02,308 --> 00:21:04,174
- that you said looked dodgy.
- No, you didn't.
353
00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:06,876
- I had food poisoning for what,
like, two days? - Two days, yeah.
354
00:21:06,946 --> 00:21:09,279
Fuck! I hoped you stiffed
them on the tip.
355
00:21:09,381 --> 00:21:12,916
In Boulder, we go out to the movies,
356
00:21:13,018 --> 00:21:15,652
and then afterwards, we go
out to, like, a pot club.
357
00:21:15,754 --> 00:21:18,499
You just fill a pint
glass with weed smoke,
358
00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:20,581
- and you do it like a beer.
- What?
359
00:21:20,659 --> 00:21:23,660
- Amazing.
- That's un-fucking-believable.
360
00:21:23,762 --> 00:21:25,162
(laughing)
361
00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:28,198
- Colin: Totally.
- Gigi: Thank God. At least that.
362
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,434
(laughs) I am gonna stiff
you on that tip.
363
00:21:30,536 --> 00:21:33,403
- Do not want to present that one...
- (doorbell buzzes)
364
00:21:33,505 --> 00:21:37,107
- Who's that, honey?
- Gigi: I think that's the belly dancer.
365
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:40,344
You got a dancer? You're too much, Gigi.
366
00:21:40,446 --> 00:21:44,081
You should see the cake! That
photo! Oh, my God, it's hysterical.
367
00:21:44,183 --> 00:21:46,450
- How do you come up with
this stuff? - She's a producer.
368
00:21:46,552 --> 00:21:48,051
That's what she... Holy shit.
369
00:21:48,153 --> 00:21:51,264
You sure it's not the weed guy
taking us up on your invitation?
370
00:21:51,265 --> 00:21:53,168
Wait, you guys invited him?
Oh, I think he's so sexy.
371
00:21:53,192 --> 00:21:55,003
Please tell me I'm not the
only one who thinks that?
372
00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:56,504
He totally looks like
a young John Malkovich.
373
00:21:56,528 --> 00:21:58,506
- Like, like, the, the...
"The Killing Fields." - Yes!
374
00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:01,798
? ?
375
00:22:01,901 --> 00:22:03,433
Yeah!
376
00:22:13,379 --> 00:22:17,114
(laughter)
377
00:22:18,984 --> 00:22:22,619
(indistinct chatter, laughter)
378
00:22:22,721 --> 00:22:25,622
Get down. I missed my calling.
379
00:22:30,229 --> 00:22:34,932
There he is. Great party,
man. Thanks for having us.
380
00:22:35,034 --> 00:22:40,437
- Having a good time?
- Yeah, great. Thank you.
381
00:22:40,539 --> 00:22:42,205
Although I am pretty fucking baked.
382
00:22:42,308 --> 00:22:45,008
I've been eating these
almonds all day long.
383
00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:47,577
Back they go.
384
00:22:49,848 --> 00:22:51,782
Is it sexual?
385
00:22:52,952 --> 00:22:54,818
- Sorry, what?
- The women's clothes.
386
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,088
- Does it get you off sexually?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
387
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:00,490
No, it's... it's more
of how I express myself.
388
00:23:00,592 --> 00:23:03,060
I've been like this
since I can remember.
389
00:23:04,863 --> 00:23:05,696
Oh.
390
00:23:05,798 --> 00:23:09,633
? ?
391
00:23:12,271 --> 00:23:15,172
(laughter)
392
00:23:17,242 --> 00:23:20,377
Do you happen to have chlamydia?
393
00:23:20,479 --> 00:23:22,079
Sorry, what?
394
00:23:22,181 --> 00:23:23,792
Oh, I'm not trying to
start shit with you.
395
00:23:23,816 --> 00:23:25,560
It'd just be really
helpful to know if you've had
396
00:23:25,584 --> 00:23:28,819
- unprotected sex with Gigi.
- What? N... no!
397
00:23:28,921 --> 00:23:32,255
- Did you happen to
have protected sex? - No!
398
00:23:32,358 --> 00:23:33,623
- You're sure?
- Yes! Sorry.
399
00:23:33,726 --> 00:23:37,427
Um, where is this coming from?
400
00:23:37,529 --> 00:23:39,963
Never mind.
401
00:23:40,899 --> 00:23:43,500
Cheers. Cheers.
402
00:23:47,139 --> 00:23:50,007
Hey, can you take a quick break?
403
00:23:50,109 --> 00:23:51,441
- No!
- What?
404
00:23:51,543 --> 00:23:53,176
- Man: Boo!
- Woman: Leo!
405
00:23:53,278 --> 00:23:55,645
Hey. Hold on a second.
Guys. Hold on, everybody.
406
00:23:55,748 --> 00:23:59,783
I just... I just... We
need to talk for a quick second.
407
00:23:59,885 --> 00:24:01,718
Um...
408
00:24:04,056 --> 00:24:06,323
So it seems that some us
409
00:24:06,425 --> 00:24:08,725
in this room have been
a little sloppy lately.
410
00:24:08,827 --> 00:24:10,994
- Man: Oh, yeah! I'm the one!
- (laughter)
411
00:24:11,096 --> 00:24:14,064
- (laughs) Sloppy! Sloppy!
- Leo: Guys, please.
412
00:24:14,166 --> 00:24:17,067
This is really shitty, um...
413
00:24:17,169 --> 00:24:19,903
(groans) I'm just gonna say it.
414
00:24:20,005 --> 00:24:24,007
Uh, I just tested
positive for chlamydia,
415
00:24:24,109 --> 00:24:26,676
and we are not proud of it.
416
00:24:26,779 --> 00:24:30,047
And it was killing us to
keep it from you guys.
417
00:24:30,149 --> 00:24:33,383
- Um, okay, uh...
- Woman: What?
418
00:24:33,485 --> 00:24:36,753
We've been fucking around
with other people for a while now.
419
00:24:36,855 --> 00:24:39,856
And we just think you
should all get tested,
420
00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:43,593
and, you know, suffice it to say,
we probably shouldn't play tonight.
421
00:24:43,695 --> 00:24:46,296
What? This is... This is fucked up!
422
00:24:46,398 --> 00:24:47,864
Man: It doesn't make any sense!
423
00:24:47,966 --> 00:24:49,406
Why wouldn't you get tested earlier?
424
00:24:49,468 --> 00:24:50,667
It's not like you guys!
425
00:24:50,769 --> 00:24:52,702
I think it was those two
backpackers, you know,
426
00:24:52,805 --> 00:24:54,845
the Brazilian backpackers,
they were, they seemed...
427
00:24:54,873 --> 00:24:56,418
Are you trying to trick
me into a threesome?
428
00:24:56,442 --> 00:24:57,752
- No!
- I would've mentioned that!
429
00:24:57,776 --> 00:24:59,242
How many backpackers did you...
430
00:24:59,344 --> 00:25:01,222
- Backpackers are dirty.
- They're dirty, dirty, dirty.
431
00:25:01,246 --> 00:25:04,714
And you tell everyone at the party
that maybe they have chlamydia?
432
00:25:04,817 --> 00:25:06,937
- Is that like the party gift?
- You can't just leave!
433
00:25:07,019 --> 00:25:09,019
Yes, I can! Put Grandma on the phone.
434
00:25:09,121 --> 00:25:12,889
Honey, why won't you go
to sleep? I'm at work.
435
00:25:12,991 --> 00:25:15,992
Sorry, excuse me. Do you
mind if I just get my coat?
436
00:25:16,095 --> 00:25:17,639
There's still other stuff
we can do, right?
437
00:25:17,663 --> 00:25:19,329
We can still do some heavy petting.
438
00:25:19,431 --> 00:25:23,233
We can do juj... Oh!
Look! Got my new tassels!
439
00:25:23,335 --> 00:25:26,736
Deb, we didn't haul our asses
to Brooklyn for some dry humping
440
00:25:26,839 --> 00:25:29,639
and some fucking stale pita chips.
441
00:25:29,741 --> 00:25:31,041
- Fuck you guys.
- Deb: Mike!
442
00:25:31,143 --> 00:25:33,677
Were you just
planning on not telling us?
443
00:25:33,779 --> 00:25:36,880
Honestly, you know, I thought
if we all already had it
444
00:25:36,982 --> 00:25:40,650
that we could play, you
know, and then we could tomorrow
445
00:25:40,752 --> 00:25:43,220
start taking antibiotics
and get better together.
446
00:25:43,322 --> 00:25:46,323
- Wow. - Get better together?
Are you fucking serious, Leo?
447
00:25:46,425 --> 00:25:49,926
Hey, that is so irresponsible. And
that's not how it works, you idiot.
448
00:25:50,028 --> 00:25:52,028
Oh, come on. Relax. You know, listen.
449
00:25:52,131 --> 00:25:53,975
There is some logic to
what he's saying. I mean...
450
00:25:53,999 --> 00:25:56,010
- What are you talking about?
- I wouldn't get carried away,
451
00:25:56,034 --> 00:25:57,701
but there is some sense to it.
452
00:25:57,803 --> 00:26:01,404
Okay. You know what? Maybe we're
just the first to realize it.
453
00:26:01,507 --> 00:26:04,841
But how... how do you all know
that we didn't get it from you guys?
454
00:26:04,943 --> 00:26:07,210
- Oh, I can tell you why.
You know why? - No, no.
455
00:26:07,312 --> 00:26:09,246
Because Deb and I, we follow the rules.
456
00:26:09,348 --> 00:26:11,081
- Rule followers. Rule followers.
- Right?
457
00:26:11,183 --> 00:26:13,617
We follow the fucking rules!
458
00:26:13,719 --> 00:26:15,552
All right, if we're fucking
being honest here.
459
00:26:15,654 --> 00:26:17,954
When... before Steve and I split up,
460
00:26:18,056 --> 00:26:20,435
and we said we were going to put
his mother in a home in Madison,
461
00:26:20,459 --> 00:26:22,893
we actually went to Vieques and
we played with another group.
462
00:26:22,995 --> 00:26:24,594
- Renee!
- Wow.
463
00:26:24,696 --> 00:26:28,098
- I knew it! You were too tan!
- You were too tan for winter!
464
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,233
I know! I fucking just had to say it.
465
00:26:30,335 --> 00:26:33,136
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! You knew?
- I had to tell someone.
466
00:26:33,238 --> 00:26:35,839
I pride myself on being a
very discrete person. Okay?
467
00:26:35,941 --> 00:26:38,608
If... if a friend asks
me to keep a secret,
468
00:26:38,710 --> 00:26:40,977
- I have to honor that!
- Wait, that is fucked up!
469
00:26:41,079 --> 00:26:42,624
- You see this?
- How is that fucked up?
470
00:26:42,648 --> 00:26:44,915
- Come on! - Look, we were
trying to save our marriage
471
00:26:45,017 --> 00:26:47,017
and, you know, we used protection,
472
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,052
for the most part, we were pretty drunk.
473
00:26:49,154 --> 00:26:51,366
I feel like, you know, I'm
feeling really shitty about it.
474
00:26:51,390 --> 00:26:53,957
It just proves that no one is perfect.
475
00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:57,761
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Who the fuck are you all? Huh?
476
00:26:57,863 --> 00:26:59,707
- Oh, it's chlamydia.
- I don't even know you anymore.
477
00:26:59,731 --> 00:27:04,000
- You take a Z-Pak, you're fine.
- I feel... I feel so betrayed.
478
00:27:04,102 --> 00:27:08,038
- It's like a fucking opera.
- No! I'm sorry, Deb. It's true.
479
00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:10,285
I bought you a cock ring for
your birthday, motherfucker.
480
00:27:10,309 --> 00:27:14,711
- Happy birthday. - Hey, look. Maybe
this is just a wake-up call,
481
00:27:14,813 --> 00:27:18,181
and we just need to set
new boundaries, okay?
482
00:27:18,283 --> 00:27:20,483
Is that why you invited
Victor/Victoria to our party?
483
00:27:20,586 --> 00:27:23,687
- Woman: Whoa.
- Don't call him that!
484
00:27:23,789 --> 00:27:25,333
- Deb: It's not nice!
- He's wearing a dress.
485
00:27:25,357 --> 00:27:27,157
No one's actually fucking out there.
486
00:27:27,259 --> 00:27:28,736
No, but it sounds like they're about to.
487
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,995
- Colin? Becky?
- Can I get your Wi-Fi?
488
00:27:32,097 --> 00:27:33,530
Sorry. We'll just be one sec.
489
00:27:33,632 --> 00:27:36,099
Woman: I thought people liked tapping.
490
00:27:36,201 --> 00:27:37,550
Tapping would be great. Slapping is a
491
00:27:37,574 --> 00:27:39,180
- little excessive.
- It's a little harsh, right?
492
00:27:39,204 --> 00:27:42,672
- You know, it's just a sensitive
body part. - I don't do that!
493
00:27:42,774 --> 00:27:44,241
You do do it. You do.
494
00:27:44,343 --> 00:27:46,423
There's our tight-ass fucking neighbor
495
00:27:46,478 --> 00:27:47,944
right on fucking schedule.
496
00:27:48,046 --> 00:27:50,413
Guys, please keep your voices down.
497
00:27:50,515 --> 00:27:55,785
I thought we were going to a fucking
party, not an asshat convention.
498
00:27:55,887 --> 00:27:58,127
- I need to talk to your husband!
- It's not a good time.
499
00:27:58,156 --> 00:28:00,023
- We're entertaining right now.
- No, no!
500
00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:02,592
Listen! The music is not even on!
501
00:28:02,694 --> 00:28:05,562
Not about the music! You people
bring drugs into the building!
502
00:28:05,664 --> 00:28:09,733
- What? What are you talking
about? - I show you now.
503
00:28:09,835 --> 00:28:11,801
Here. This. This.
504
00:28:11,903 --> 00:28:14,371
Sorry, thanks for the great party.
505
00:28:14,473 --> 00:28:17,307
Sitter emergency. Sorry. Hi.
506
00:28:18,977 --> 00:28:20,710
(stammers)
507
00:28:20,812 --> 00:28:24,314
(laughs) This is pot! This isn't drugs.
508
00:28:24,416 --> 00:28:25,448
Huh?
509
00:28:30,455 --> 00:28:32,815
? ?
510
00:28:32,816 --> 00:28:37,354
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-- www.Addic7ed.com --
511
00:28:37,404 --> 00:28:41,954
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