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1
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- Why are you topless?
- I'm being free!
2
00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:06,607
- You are one of us now.
- Yes, I suppose I am.
3
00:00:06,609 --> 00:00:09,534
- I love you. Ssh.
- 'It's not cool, how you talk to Fred.'
4
00:00:09,536 --> 00:00:12,239
This programme contains
strong language, adult humour and some nudity.
5
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,679
- I can fuck who I like.
- No, you can't.
6
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,559
Anthony's not going to like this!
7
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,439
Anthony's not going
to know about this.
8
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,440
I think I've been
pretending to be in love with you.
9
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,439
- I love you!
- Jesus!
10
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,919
I fancy you.
11
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,999
Yeah, I...
12
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,359
...fancy you, too.
13
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,239
Hm!
14
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,599
That's nice.
15
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,199
Oh, crazy, huh?!
16
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,919
IRISH ACCENT:
I don't remember a t'ing!
17
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,920
Good luck at work today. Mwah!
18
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,919
I feel just fantastic!
19
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,439
Isn't it just a fantastic day?!
20
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:19,919
It's a marvellous day!
21
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,359
Well, come and do the Fantastic,
Marvellous Day dance with me, then.
22
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,079
OK!
23
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,039
Oh! Oop!
24
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,040
I love this place!
25
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,399
Would you ever let me bum you?
26
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,399
HE SNIGGERS
27
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,159
No!
28
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,039
I like putting things
IN other things.
29
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,039
I think you'd get into it.
It's good for angry men.
30
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,839
Between you and Will,
31
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,039
I cannot turn around
without fearing for my sphincter.
32
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,319
I'm going to have to buy
a little shield for it.
33
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,839
- Will?
- The guy can't take his eyes off my hole.
34
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,519
I can feel them boring through
my jeans every time I bend over.
35
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,279
You genuinely think everybody
fancies you, don't you?
36
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,280
They do.
37
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:16,360
- Perk your aunt's morning up.
- Get out!
38
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,799
Oh, shit!
39
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,079
What?
40
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,919
It's "get out" time, babycakes.
41
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:27,599
They're knocking us down.
42
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,479
Where will all these people go?
43
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,039
This is what happens.
If you want to live like this,
44
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,519
then you have to leave like this.
45
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,520
OK... Pack what you like.
The rest, we keep for firewood.
46
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,439
You're the secret flower man?!
47
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,359
So? Nothing wrong with
brightening up the place a bit.
48
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,359
Do you want one?
49
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,199
Thanks!
50
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,079
Hey, Sam...
51
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,879
where are you going to move to?
52
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,719
Oh, heard a rumour of
an old fire station down south.
53
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,679
So, thought I might slide in there.
54
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,319
OK. Nice!
55
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,999
I just thought, maybe...
56
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,359
Could I come... with you?
57
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,599
Just thought it would be nice
to... stick together.
58
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,119
- Sure. Whatever.
- Really?!
59
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,439
Yeah, let's do it!
60
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,079
You tell anyone
that I am flower man,
61
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,079
that is going somewhere it ain't
getting photosynthsizzled.
62
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,080
Cross my heart.
63
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,119
- Pretending?
- And now she's pretending
64
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,559
that she never said
that she was pretending.
65
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,479
Well, I think you are both dealing
with it really well.
66
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,199
- Oh!
- You guys are the dream. Thank God you're getting married.
67
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,199
What am I supposed to do now?
Do I remind her?
68
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,999
No! Just pretend
you don't know she's pretending
69
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,599
she never said she was pretending!
70
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,999
Hey...
71
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,039
SHE BURPS
Argh!
72
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,679
No! No!
73
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,439
I've never laughed at that!
74
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,439
Ever!
75
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,799
- What did you do last night?
- No-one.
76
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,800
I can't believe
they can evict people on a weekend.
77
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,959
It's Monday.
78
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,479
Shut up.
79
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,719
Yeah.
80
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,759
- No.
- Yeah.
81
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,719
What?! Fuck!
82
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,079
No, I have to go now!
Like NOW now!
83
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,439
Like, what happened to Sunday?!
84
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,319
Oh, I'm so sweaty!
85
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,919
Do these look like pyjamas?!
86
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,920
Not at all.
87
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,479
- I made you cafe. Un cafe pour...
- Brilliant!
88
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,480
- D'accord.
- Merci. - Happy eviction, everybody!
89
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,239
What a palaver, eh?
90
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,879
This is insane!
91
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,879
- Brekkie, Fred?
- Freddy Chops, are you ready?
92
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,399
Oh, Will's giving me a lift
this morning.
93
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,519
- I'm at Samaritans.
It's just round the corner. - Samaritans Samaritans?
94
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,199
Yeah, people call up in distress,
looking for...
95
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,759
- Upbeat Australian advice!
- Yeah!
96
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,279
Hey, who were you having
97
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,839
that delicious-sounding sex with
last night?
98
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,719
My vote's on
the fourth-floor yoga bunny.
99
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,519
I wasn't having sex.
I was... crying.
100
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,279
Weren't you hanging late
with Lulu last night?
101
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,879
- Lulu?!
- Sure. Yeah, me and Lulu, sure.
102
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,479
- I'd rather slam my dick in a door!
- Oh, my God! It was totally Lulu!
103
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,159
- Was it?
- No.
104
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,279
It was so totally Lulu.
105
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,959
- Was it?
- Guys, leave him alone.
106
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,159
Yeah, can we please just leave him
and Lulu alone?
107
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,199
It wasn't Lulu. I was crying.
108
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,559
Yeah, right into Lulu's vagina!
109
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,999
HE LAUGHS
110
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,239
Ah!
111
00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,039
Hey, guys, I just wanted to say,
I've found a new pad.
112
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,439
- Oh, you got your period?
- (Love your naughty sense of humour.)
113
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,719
- No, I've got a flat, in Angel.
- What?! Why didn't you say?
114
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,359
- Congrats, man.
- Thank you. I wanted to... I wanted to ask...
115
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,439
Hey, mate, will you let Kate know
we're both in on the new building?
116
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,559
I wanted to ask Fred
if he'd like to move in with me.
117
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,959
Oh!
118
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,799
Oh. Wow!
119
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,639
It's got skirting boards, an oven,
a bidet. It's got everything.
120
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,079
And it's all yours.
It's ours, if you want it.
121
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,959
What do you say?
122
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,879
Oh, boy... Um...
123
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,639
Phew...
124
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,439
Can I think about it?
125
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,799
You sure can.
126
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,800
Congrats, mate.
127
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,479
Lulu?
128
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,639
Lulu!
129
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,640
- Hm?
- Hi! Did anything come for me this morning?
130
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,399
No.
131
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,919
Who is that for?
132
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,920
Kate.
133
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,319
Yay! Perfect!
134
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,959
I love it. By the way, if you
feel ill, take the afternoon off.
135
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,199
- Thanks.
- Are those pyjamas?
136
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,200
How dare you?!
137
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,399
I mean, Samaritans, my arse.
I bet he's out there
138
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,079
just spanking old grandpas.
There is NOTHING about him
139
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:33,080
being a Samaritan online.
- You could call them. See if you get him.
140
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,560
- Colin!
- 02079460423. They pick up really quickly.
141
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,840
KEYPAD BEEPS
142
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,519
LINE RINGS
143
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,239
WOMAN: 'Good afternoon. Samaritans.
How can I help you today?'
144
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,959
Oh. Oh, you can take me out,
145
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,279
Charity Chops,
that's what you can do.
146
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,719
- (Don't disrespect them.)
- 'Hello? Anyone there?'
147
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,519
KEYPAD BEEPS, LINE RINGS
148
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,919
MAN: 'Good afternoon. Samari-...
149
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,199
LINE RINGS
150
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,519
AUSTRALIAN MAN: 'G'day.
You're through to The Samaritans.
151
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,439
'I'm guessing this means you got
lost along the way. Am I right?'
152
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,119
(He's real.)
153
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,759
(Speak to him.)
154
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,399
'Hello?'
155
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,879
HIGH-PITCHED: Hi, my name is Stephen.
156
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,039
Hi, Stephen. I'm Will.
You doing OK, buddy?
157
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,359
'Not really.'
158
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,959
I've got a pain in my arsehole.
159
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,439
I can't actually give you
any medical advice, I'm sorry.
160
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,440
I've just done a poo in my hand and
I'm about to go in for a meeting.
161
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,079
HE CHUCKLES
162
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,999
You're a bit of joker, eh?
163
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,039
'All right, you got me
hands down. Ha!
164
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,359
'Hey, I don't mean to pry, Stephen, '
165
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,805
but what happens
when the laughter stops, mate?
166
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,759
How can she PRETEND to love me?
167
00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,959
She was topless.
168
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,519
Everyone says things they don't mean
when they're topless.
169
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,520
Did you get totally
smashed on your own last night?
170
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,999
I feel horrible.
171
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,479
Oh, shit. It's Kate. She's got
a balloon. What does that mean?
172
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,480
God. Protect that with your life.
173
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,479
Hi! Wow, look at that!
174
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,199
I-love-you balloon.
175
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,200
Yes!
176
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,919
- You OK?
- So I've been looking at properties in zone five,
177
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,999
and I've come across an old
primary school building in Croydon.
178
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000
- Kate.
- Are you too busy? Shall I come back later?
179
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,800
Oh, wow.
180
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,160
My God!
181
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,800
She wants to try some.
Then we're going to talk.
182
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,679
Oh!
183
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:14,680
Good luck!
184
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,599
Mmm.
185
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,919
Did you put alcohol in this?
186
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,119
Did you love your father?
187
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,639
HE SPEAKS IN FALSETTO VOICE:
My family were never close.
188
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,399
Ooooh! He's very good.
189
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,609
- Hey, listen, don't underestimate
the importance of having a strong male role model in your life
190
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:42,520
Do you know any inspirational older
men you could lean on?
191
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,759
Please, Kate, talk to me.
192
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,760
I... don't want to live
together like this... any more.
193
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,599
Fuck, Kate.
194
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,479
I don't want to be a guardian
any more.
195
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,799
I want a flat.
196
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,800
With fresh fruit
and normal windows and...
197
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,039
...no Lulu.
198
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,359
Lulu? What?
199
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,359
She wears quirky clothes
and she is in love with you
200
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,799
and it's exhausting.
201
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,199
SHE RETCHES
202
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,879
She's not... in love with me.
203
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,359
- Kate, last night, you said...
- I didn't say anything, OK.
204
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,079
I'm just never going to drink
and paint ever again.
205
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,839
Can I start looking for flats?
206
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,719
Yes.
207
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,159
Where will Lulu go?
208
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,079
I don't care about Lulu.
209
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,039
SHE LAUGHS
210
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,879
Good.
211
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,919
He sounds like a nightmare!
212
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,999
He's just always here being
relentlessly cheery.
213
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,999
And he's stolen my friend.
214
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,759
Oh, God, I sound like a child!
215
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,999
'No, you don't, Stephen.
You really don't.
216
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,519
'But, hey, '
217
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,319
I'm going ask you something now.
218
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,119
'Are you ready?'
219
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,199
Yes.
220
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,200
Are you honest with everyone about
how you feel about them?
221
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,039
No.
222
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,639
'Anyone in particular?'
223
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:15,799
Yes.
224
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,800
Well, I think it's time you told
them how you feel, Stevo.
225
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,200
He's a knob.
226
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,799
So, voila, Colin, I quit my job
today. Let's go.
227
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,879
We can stay with my friend
Louis in Poland.
228
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,880
He is an erotic magician.
He would love you.
229
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,640
Are you having a stroke?
230
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,239
Who is this?
231
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,240
I'm beginning to feel like I'm
one of a long line of Colins.
232
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,839
Am I?
233
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,919
So what if you are?
234
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,599
How many of us are there?
235
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,879
- It doesn't matter.
- It does.
236
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,559
You can't deny the resemblance
is unnerving.
237
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,039
What is this? Huh?
238
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,079
You stand in my room,
you lie in my bed,
239
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,080
you dance like a naked angel in my
dreams but you won't let me in.
240
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,959
I shouldn't have brought it up.
241
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,960
Ah! You don't like it? Huh?
C'est ca?
242
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,880
Do you know how hard it is for me
to sleep next to you and not touch your body?
243
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,240
Not hold you? Not kiss you.
Not poke your little cheeks?
244
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,759
D'accord. Go.
245
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,239
Go back to your wife,
her lover, your misery.
246
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,240
- I'm not going to live this
torture any more. You GO. - No!
247
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,760
Tonight. 6.30. I will
prepare and I will come to you.
248
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,000
D'accord.
249
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,519
Hey, get an erection
and bring it to my room.
250
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,719
No, honey, it doesn't
work like that. He's sleeping.
251
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,879
You already have a semi.
252
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,119
Damn. SHIT. No. No. NO. Cos
if Anthony finds out about this...
253
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,839
Lu! There you are...
Find out about what?
254
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,919
Find out... that...
255
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,199
Sam's got...
256
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,639
- What?
- A semi. - OK.
257
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,039
No! Find out Kate's...
258
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,839
- What?
- Pregnant.
259
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,039
What?
260
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,040
- Yeah. Really...
- REALLY pregnant.
261
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,800
She told me not to tell you.
262
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,240
- Uh, Kate, quick word.
- Bubbles? - What is the occasion?
263
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,319
- OK, I need to...
- There's an old people's home in zone three. I have requested a viewing for you.
264
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,639
- But I've done a bad...
- Not now, Sam. - Um. Sam, can we talk for a second?
265
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,319
- Hi, team.
- Hey, how was Samaritans?
266
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,079
Really interesting day, actually.
267
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,399
Get many callers?
268
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,519
Uh, a little girl who's
getting bullied,
269
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,079
a hyperactive dinner lady, and a...
270
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,079
frustrated homosexual.
Tragic, actually.
271
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:30,039
Really simple guy just desperate
to be much more complicated than he actually is.
272
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,239
He's got a big
hard-on for his best friend
273
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,999
and is jealous of the new
boyfriend... ya-dee-ya-dee-yada.
274
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,000
Anyway, I think we really got
somewhere with him.
275
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,920
I am going to go hit the el bano and
then I want your final answer, OK?
276
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,119
- Deal. Don't be long.
- OK.
277
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,479
- Are you going to move in with him?
- I think so, yeah.
278
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,479
Me and Anthony, too.
279
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,639
- Yay!
- Yay!
280
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,799
THEY LAUGH
281
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,599
FEEBLY: Yay!
282
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,119
Jesus, there you are! Listen.
Kate isn't...
283
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,559
- Is she back?
- Yes, but she's not...
284
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,759
I KNEW something freaky was
going on. I KNEW it.
285
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,479
I am more intuitive that I give
myself credit for.
286
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,919
No, no, you're really not.
287
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,920
I'm fine. I'm going to deal with
this really well.
288
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,319
Really, really well.
289
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,479
No, you're not!
She's not even... oh, dear!
290
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,279
? I was sailing down the
River Jordan. ?
291
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,159
DOOR SLAMS
292
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,039
G'day?
293
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,999
FOOTSTEPS
294
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,959
G'day?
295
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,359
Why do you think I'm gay?
296
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,839
You think you're so clever.
297
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,239
I'm here to help you.
298
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,599
I want to help.
299
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,600
Answer my question
or I'm coming in.
300
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,839
I think you're gay because you
obsess about the men in your life.
301
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,840
What, just because I care about my
friends, it makes me a bender?
302
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,359
You need to update your counsel,
brother. Give me a better reason.
303
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,039
HE SCREAMS
304
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,159
Because you're obsessed with me.
You think about me.
305
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,599
You flash your body at me.
306
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,319
You bitch about me and then to
top it off,
307
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,639
you put on a stupid voice
and you call my work
308
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,439
and waste the time of a poor little
dinner lady who really needed help.
309
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,679
Maybe I need help.
310
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,239
- You need a boyfriend.
- Do you think?
311
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,519
Yeah, I do. I really do.
312
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,079
- I think you need to have
sex with a man. - Fuck you.
313
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,879
HE LAUGHS
314
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,239
Hey, um... I get it.
315
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,559
I'm up-beat and Australian
and a lot of fun.
316
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,719
But I'm in love with your boy
Fred. I'm fucking crazy about him.
317
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,879
And either you need to back off,
or you need to share him
318
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,880
because I'm not going anywhere and
you and I will just end up fighting
319
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,960
till the sun takes
his little hat off.
320
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,080
It'll be so much better for both of
us if you and I just get on.
321
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,519
I told you he wasn't to be trusted!
I told you...
322
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,199
Pack your little bag
and don't listen to a word he says!
323
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,284
- Don't interrupt me! You have not got
a dick to stand on! - Guys, guys!
324
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,399
Will someone tell me what happened?
325
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,679
We were in the shower room -
do not interrupt me!
326
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,359
And I was asking this
douche about his day. Nice guy.
327
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,399
Then he just opened my shower door,
leaned in all monkey chest
328
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,199
and then
HE KISSED ME WITH HIS MOUTH.
329
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,719
Fred. Sam pranked me today at work.
He called me...
330
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,599
- Did you kiss him with your mouth?
- No. - LIAR!
331
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,600
- Sam, I don't know
what you're trying to do here. - Did you kiss at all?
332
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,999
Will?
333
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,319
He kissed me.
334
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,239
- Oh, boy!
- Fred. I don't know why...
335
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,519
OK. I think um...
336
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,159
- Kate.
- Not now, Anthony. There is serious shit going down here
337
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,719
and I'm just delighted
it's not about us. - You're pregnant!
338
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,559
- Oh, Jesus.
- What?!
339
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,759
Why didn't you tell me?
340
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,559
Because I am not pregnant.
341
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,919
Yeah, guys...
342
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,239
Not pregnant? Really?
343
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,039
No! I hope not!
344
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,799
Oh, thank God! Thank God!
345
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,359
Thank God! All right!
Don't have a party about it.
346
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:42,279
Sorry. Thank God.
I just... Sam, what the hell?
347
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,322
OK, anyone else got anything
they would like to announce to the room before I start self-harming?
348
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,119
OK, in that case.
Will, I think we...
349
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,639
Sam's fucking Lulu!
350
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,479
What?
351
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,199
Mate, I am so sorry.
She was really pushy.
352
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,319
- Grey area mate, serious.
- What the fuck? You promised!
353
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,679
- Promised what?
- You can't stop two sexy people...
354
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,199
Yeah, no, I know. I know.
355
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,799
Fuck's sake, man!
356
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,799
- I just...
- What?
357
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,800
What, you just
wanted them all for yourself?
358
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,079
Red zone!
359
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,519
Ow! What the fuck do you care?
360
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,959
- She's not your girlfriend.
- I told you not to do that.
361
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,959
I'm sorry I broke your rules!
362
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,960
Seems like you deal in other
people's property in life as well as work, Sam.
363
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,479
Are you punning?
364
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,119
I'm just saying - argh!
365
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,239
Ow!
366
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,239
Stop fucking everyone, you PRICK.
367
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,199
Argh!
368
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,559
I don't know who to hit!
369
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,759
You can't help yourself, can you?
370
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,519
Life is a buffet, Anthony.
I taught you that!
371
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,479
I think I'm done here.
372
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:57,959
Just admit you're GAY, mate!
373
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,759
Just admit you're a DICK!
Hospital vote.
374
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,760
Will should get the fuck
out for kissing me!
375
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,879
Ha! You see that!
376
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,519
Everybody loves me.
Everyone wants me round.
377
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,439
I am fantastic.
I always win. Always.
378
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,679
I see what I want and I go
and I bloody well get it.
379
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,639
And I want little
Fred to be my wife
380
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,039
and if that means spending
time in this skanky hospital
381
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,040
surrounded by a bunch of insane
and unattractive urban gyppos,
382
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,440
so be it, but I will be
disinfecting myself the minute
383
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,480
I walk out of here
because you all disgust me.
384
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,080
Come, little Fred.
385
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,040
I think you need to leave
the skanky hospital, Will.
386
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,160
You will never meet anyone like me
ever again.
387
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,240
I'm fantastic.
388
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,520
DOOR SLAMS
389
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:25,040
See, I told you
he couldn't be trusted, mate.
390
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,400
Yeah, you nailed it.
391
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,400
- Mate, I need to find...
- I need to find Kate.
392
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,760
KNOCK ON DOOR
393
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,519
Ready?
394
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,520
Oui.
395
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,439
Just tell me one thing.
396
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,919
Anything.
397
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,199
Who's the man in the picture?
398
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,200
Oh! It's my father.
399
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:33,800
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