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1
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,118
I need a father who's a role model.
2
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,578
Not some horny geek-boy
who's gonna spray his shorts
3
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,164
whenever I bring a girlfriend
home from school.
4
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:44,377
What a lame-o.
5
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:50,842
Someone really should just
put him out of his misery.
6
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,596
Want me to kill him for you?
7
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,940
Yeah. Would you?
8
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,330
My name is Lester Burnham.
9
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,542
This is my neighborhood.
10
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,712
This is my street.
11
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:31,174
This is my life.
12
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,969
I'm 42 years old.
In less than a year...
13
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,763
...I'll be dead.
14
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,731
Of course, I don't know that yet.
15
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,696
And in a way, I'm dead already.
16
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,042
Look at me.
17
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,877
Jerking off in the shower.
18
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,381
This will be the high point of my day.
19
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,884
It's all downhill from here.
20
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,599
That's my wife, Carolyn.
21
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:27,563
See the way the handle on those pruning
shears matches her gardening clogs?
22
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,899
That's not an accident.
23
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,236
Hush, Bitsy!
24
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,071
Hush! What is wrong with you?
25
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,240
That's our next door neighbor, Jim.
26
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,077
And that's his lover... Jim.
27
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,703
You spoil her. Bitsy...
28
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,331
- Me?
- ...no bark! Come inside now!
29
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,834
- Come on.
- Good morning, Jim!
30
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,086
Morning, Carolyn.
31
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:54,298
I love your tie. That color!
32
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,133
I just love your roses.
33
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,886
How do you get them
to flourish like this?
34
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,682
Well, I'll tell you:
eggshells and Miracle-Gro.
35
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,725
- I've never heard of that.
- Man...
36
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,436
...I get exhausted just watching her.
37
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,482
She wasn't always like this.
She used to be happy.
38
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,736
We used to be happy.
39
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,576
My daughter, Jane. Only child.
40
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,290
Janie's a pretty typical teenager:
41
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,751
angry, insecure, confused.
42
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,797
I wish I could tell her
that's all going to pass
43
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,799
but I don't want to lie to her.
44
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,056
Jane, honey,
are you trying to look unattractive?
45
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,474
Yes.
46
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,269
Congratulations,
you've succeeded admirably.
47
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:52,857
Lester, could you make me a little
later? I'm not quite late enough.
48
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,487
Nice going, Dad.
49
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,825
Both my wife and daughter
think I'm this gigantic loser.
50
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,827
And they're right.
51
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,457
I have lost something.
52
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,834
I'm not exactly sure what it is,
53
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:17,506
but I know I didn't always
feel this... sedated.
54
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,927
But you know what?
55
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,347
It's never too late to get it back.
56
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,018
Hello. This is Lester Burnham
from Media Monthly magazine.
57
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,020
I'm calling for Mr. Tamblin, please.
58
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,315
Well, we're all under a deadline here.
59
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,692
There's some information
about your product launch
60
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,986
that isn't even covered
in your press release and...
61
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,115
Yeah, OK. Can I ask you a question?
62
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,451
Who is Tamblin? Does he exist?
63
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,453
'Cause he doesn't
ever seem to come in.
64
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,623
Yeah, OK. I'll leave my number.
65
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:55,127
It's 555-0199.
66
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,381
Lester Burnham. Thank you.
67
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,509
Hey, Les.
68
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,303
You got a minute?
69
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,139
For you, Brad, I got five.
70
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,685
So I'm sure you can understand
71
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,645
our need to cut corners around here.
72
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,691
Sure. Times are tight.
You got to free up some cash.
73
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,235
You got to spend money
to make money, right?
74
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:23,072
- Exactly.
- Like the time when Mr. Flournoy
75
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,075
used the company MasterCard
to pay for that hooker,
76
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,495
then she used the card and stayed
at the St. Regis for three months...
77
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,748
- That's unsubstantiated gossip!
- That's $50,000!
78
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,750
That's someone's salary
who's gonna get fired
79
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,919
because Craig has to
pay women to fuck him!
80
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:40,673
Jesus! Calm down.
81
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,591
Nobody's getting fired yet.
82
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,762
That's why we're having everyone
write out a job description
83
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,724
mapping out in detail
how they contribute.
84
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,977
That way management can
assess who's valuable...
85
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,062
And who's expendable.
86
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,315
It's just business.
87
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:04,280
I've been writing for this magazine
for 14 years. You've been here a month?
88
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,532
I'm one of the good guys, Les.
89
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,452
I'm trying to level with you.
90
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:13,039
This is your one chance
to save your job.
91
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,501
There's no decision.
Just write the damn thing.
92
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,337
You don't think it's weird
and kind of fascist?
93
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,673
Possibly, but you don't want
to be unemployed.
94
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,760
Let's sell our souls and work for Satan
because it's more convenient.
95
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,804
Could you be a little bit
more dramatic, please?
96
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,640
So we finally got new neighbors.
97
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,811
If the Lomans had let me represent them
instead of the Real Estate King
98
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,314
that house would never have sat
on the market for six months.
99
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,275
They were still mad at you
for cutting down their sycamore.
100
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,861
Their sycamore? Come on!
101
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:47,615
A substantial portion of the root
structure was on our property.
102
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:49,575
How can you call it their sycamore?
103
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:54,330
I wouldn't have the heart to cut down
something if it wasn't partially mine.
104
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,719
Mom, do we always have to listen
to this elevator music?
105
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,681
No. No, we don't.
106
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:16,769
As soon as you've prepared a nutritious,
yet savory, meal that I'm about to eat
107
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,063
you can listen to whatever you like.
108
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,986
So, Janie, how was school?
109
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,115
It was OK.
110
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,741
Just OK?
111
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:35,329
No, Dad. It was spectacular.
112
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,710
Well, you want to know how things
went at my job today?
113
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,296
They've hired this efficiency expert.
114
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,384
This really friendly guy named Brad.
How perfect is that?
115
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:52,888
He's there to make it seem like
they're justified in firing somebody
116
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,599
because they couldn't just
come right out and say that.
117
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,601
That would just be too honest.
118
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,355
So they've asked us. You couldn't
possibly care less, could you?
119
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,233
Well, what do you expect?
120
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:07,903
You can't all of a sudden be my best
friend just because you had a bad day.
121
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:14,285
I mean, hello! You've barely
even spoken to me for months.
122
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:25,421
What? You're Mother of the Year?
You treat her like an employee.
123
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,173
What?
124
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,759
What?!
125
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,264
I'm going to get some ice cream.
126
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,940
Janie...
127
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,445
I'm sorry I haven't been more...
128
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,781
...available. I'm just... I...
129
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,121
You know, you don't always have to
wait for me to come to you.
130
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,958
Great. So now it's my fault?
131
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,711
I didn't say that. It's nobody's fault.
132
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,050
Janie, what happened?
We used to be pals.
133
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,736
I will sell this house today.
134
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,082
I will sell this house today.
135
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,251
I will sell this house today.
136
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,934
I will sell this house today.
137
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,071
Welcome. I'm Carolyn Burnham.
138
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:40,366
This living room is very dramatic.
139
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,202
Wait till you see
the native stone fireplace!
140
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,497
A simple cream
could really lighten things up.
141
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,665
You could even put in a skylight.
142
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,629
Well, why don't we go into the kitchen?
143
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,091
It's a dream come true for any cook.
144
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,802
Just filled with positive energy.
145
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,724
You'll be surprised how much a ceiling
fan can cut down on your energy costs.
146
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:13,816
You know, you could have some really
fun backyard get-togethers out here.
147
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,859
The ad said this pool
was "lagoon-like."
148
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,780
- Nothing "lagoon-like" about it.
- Except for maybe the bugs!
149
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,740
There aren't even any plants out here!
150
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,743
What do you call this?
Is this not this a plant?
151
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:28,789
If you have a problem with the plants,
I can call my landscape architect.
152
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,708
- Solved!
- I think lagoon, I think waterfall.
153
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:36,004
I think tropical.
This is a cement hole.
154
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,301
I have some tiki torches in the garage.
155
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:14,918
Shut up!
156
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:18,213
Stop it! You weak. You baby! Shut up!
157
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,215
Shut up! Shut up!
158
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,930
Who are you looking for?
159
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,474
My parents are coming tonight.
160
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,977
They're trying to, you know,
take an active interest in me.
161
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,605
Gross. I hate it when my mom does that.
162
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,109
They're such assholes. Why can't
they just have their own lives?
163
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,450
What makes you so sure she wants us
to be there? Did she ask?
164
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:32,120
Of course not. She doesn't want us
to know how important this is to her.
165
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,122
But she's been practicing
her steps for weeks.
166
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,166
I'll bet money she'll resent it.
167
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,544
And I'm missing
the James Bond marathon on TNT.
168
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,796
Lester! This is important!
169
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,632
I'm sensing a real distance
growing between you and Jane.
170
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,552
Growing? She hates me.
171
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,303
She's just willful.
172
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,180
She hates you, too.
173
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,233
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
174
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,194
Pardon me. Excuse me.
175
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,322
Now, for your halftime entertainment,
176
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:11,618
Rockwell High's award-winning
Dancing Spartanettes!
177
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,954
We can leave right after this, right?
178
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,465
Shit! They're still here.
179
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,970
- Janie!
- Hey, I really enjoyed that!
180
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,973
- Congratulations! You were great!
- I didn't win anything.
181
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,058
Hi, I'm Lester, Janie's dad.
182
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,768
Oh, hi.
183
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,982
This is my friend, Angela Hayes.
184
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:50,444
OK. Good to meet you.
185
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,155
You were also good tonight. Very...
186
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,117
- ...precise.
- Thanks.
187
00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:00,120
Nice to meet you, Angela. Honey!
188
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:03,248
I am so proud of you! You know,
I watched you very closely.
189
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,208
You didn't screw up once!
190
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,004
OK. We have to go.
191
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,424
- So what are you girls doing now?
- Dad!
192
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,426
We're going out for pizza.
193
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,095
Really? We can give you a ride.
I have a car. Want to come with us?
194
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,514
Thanks, but I have a car.
195
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,976
You have a car. Well, that's great.
That's great.
196
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:26,354
'Cause Janie's thinking about
getting a car soon, aren't you?
197
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,690
Dad! Mom's waiting for you.
198
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,404
It was very nice meeting you, Angela.
199
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,741
Any friend of Janie's is...
200
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,535
...a friend of mine.
201
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,041
Well...
202
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,752
...I'll be seeing you around, then.
203
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:57,135
Could he be any more... pathetic?
204
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,179
I think he's sweet.
205
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:04,559
And I think he and your mother
have not had sex in a long time.
206
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,162
It's the weirdest thing.
207
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,583
I feel like I've been
in a coma for about 20 years
208
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,086
and I'm just now waking up.
209
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:05,495
Spectacular.
210
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,799
I'm so sorry my dad was weird tonight.
211
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,595
That's OK.
212
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,638
I'm used to guys drooling over me.
213
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,642
It started when I was about 12.
214
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,896
I'd go to dinner with my parents.
215
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,481
Every Thursday night, Red Lobster.
216
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,068
And every guy there
would stare at me when I walked in.
217
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,154
And I knew what they were thinking.
218
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:42,198
Just like I knew guys at school
thought about me when they jerked off.
219
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:46,161
- Vomit.
- No, I liked it.
220
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,288
And I still like it.
221
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,999
If people I don't even know
look at me and want to fuck me
222
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:56,880
it means I really have a shot
at being a model, which is great.
223
00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:01,635
Because there's nothing worse in life
than being ordinary.
224
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,766
I really think it'll happen for you.
225
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,394
I know.
226
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:14,689
Because everything
that was meant to happen, does...
227
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,399
...eventually.
228
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,301
Asshole.
229
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,451
Hello?
230
00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:51,995
Hello?
231
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,555
- Hello?
- Why'd you call me?
232
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,307
I didn't.
233
00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:15,018
My phone rang and I answered,
and somebody hung up.
234
00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,978
I star-69ed, and I called you back.
235
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:19,064
Well, I was in the shower.
236
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,779
Oh, gross!
237
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:43,963
Ricky? Breakfast!
238
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,051
Be right there.
239
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:58,311
- Mom?
- Hello.
240
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,814
I don't eat bacon, remember?
241
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:04,400
I'm sorry. I must've forgotten.
242
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,747
What's new in the world, Dad?
243
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:22,210
This country is going straight to hell.
244
00:24:30,511 --> 00:24:32,554
- Are you expecting anyone?
- No.
245
00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:37,725
No.
246
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,110
- Hi.
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
247
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,736
Just something from our garden.
248
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,072
Except the pasta.
We got that at Fallaci's.
249
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,242
It's unbelievably fresh.
Drop it in the water and it's done.
250
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,581
Jim Olmeyer. Two doors down.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
251
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,083
Colonel Frank Fitts, US Marine Corps.
252
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:05,753
- Nice to meet you. This is my partner.
- Jim Berkley, but people call me J.B.
253
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:09,215
Let's cut to the chase, OK?
What are you guys selling?
254
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,344
Nothing. We just wanted to say hi
to our new neighbors.
255
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,597
Yeah, yeah...
256
00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:18,933
You said you're partners,
so what's your business?
257
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:21,769
Well...
258
00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,606
He is a tax attorney.
259
00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,608
And he's an anesthesiologist.
260
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:40,288
How come these faggots
always have to rub it in your face?
261
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,958
How can they be so shameless?
262
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:48,630
That's the whole thing, Dad.
263
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:51,257
They don't feel that's anything
to be ashamed of.
264
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,886
Well, it is.
265
00:25:57,348 --> 00:25:58,806
Yeah, you're right.
266
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,684
Don't placate me
like I'm your mother, boy.
267
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,565
Forgive me, sir,
for speaking so bluntly:
268
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:10,485
Those fags make me want to puke
my fucking guts out.
269
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:20,161
Well, me too, Son.
270
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,956
Yeah, me too.
271
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:32,590
I'm serious. He just pulled down
his pants and yanked it out.
272
00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:35,176
You know, like,
"Say hello to Mr. Happy."
273
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:38,221
- Gross.
- It wasn't gross.
274
00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:41,182
- It was kind of cool.
- So did you do it with him?
275
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:42,767
Of course I did.
276
00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:45,603
He is a really well-known photographer.
277
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:48,523
He shoots for Elle
on, like, a regular basis.
278
00:26:48,691 --> 00:26:51,150
It would've been so majorly
stupid of me to turn him down.
279
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,486
You are a total prostitute.
280
00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:57,532
Hey. That's how things really are.
281
00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:01,411
You just don't know because you're
this pampered little suburban chick.
282
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:05,164
So are you. You've only been in
Seventeen once, and you looked fat!
283
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:09,002
So stop acting like you're
goddamned Christy Turlington!
284
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:12,839
Cunt!
285
00:27:14,717 --> 00:27:18,177
I am so sick of people
taking their insecurities out on me.
286
00:27:20,431 --> 00:27:23,599
Oh, my God! That's the pervert
who filmed me last night.
287
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:27,228
Him? Jane, no way,
he's a total lunatic.
288
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:29,230
- You know him?
- Yeah.
289
00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:31,733
We were on the same lunch shift
when I was in ninth grade
290
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:35,069
and he would always say
the most random, weird things.
291
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:38,906
And then one day,
he was just, like, gone.
292
00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:42,410
And then, Connie Cardullo told me
293
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:45,538
that his parents had
to put him in a mental institution.
294
00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,790
Why? What did he do?
295
00:27:48,751 --> 00:27:49,751
What do you mean?
296
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:54,922
Well, they can't put you away
just for saying weird things.
297
00:27:57,384 --> 00:28:00,470
You total slut!
298
00:28:01,347 --> 00:28:03,765
- You've got a crush on him!
- What? Please!
299
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:07,518
You're defending him. You love him.
You want to have 10,000 of his babies.
300
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,937
- Shut up!
- Hi.
301
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:13,107
My name's Ricky.
I just moved next door to you.
302
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:15,234
I know.
303
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:19,405
I remember this really creepy incident
where you were filming me last night.
304
00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:22,950
I didn't mean to scare you.
I just think you're interesting.
305
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:28,289
Thanks, but I don't need some psycho
obsessing about me right now.
306
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:32,502
I'm not obsessing.
I'm just curious.
307
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,478
What a freak!
308
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:52,647
And why does he dress
like a Bible salesman?
309
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:57,068
He's, like, so confident.
310
00:28:57,236 --> 00:28:59,654
That can't be real.
311
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,907
I don't believe him.
312
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,285
I mean, he didn't even look at me once.
313
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,543
How'd you get in the Army?
314
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:16,170
Look, Sergeant, I got
three reasons for being in the Army.
315
00:29:16,338 --> 00:29:20,341
First, I'm patriotic. Second, I love
my country. And third, they nailed me.
316
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:25,721
You two boys report to me
immediately after this formation.
317
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,306
Take them away, Sarge!
318
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,899
Hey.
319
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:39,652
One, two, three, four.
320
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:41,696
What's going on here?
321
00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:44,365
Bend all the way down.
Here comes the bull of the woods.
322
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,077
I'm sorry, what?
323
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,165
Mom, nobody said anything.
324
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,876
Oh. I'm sorry.
325
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,219
Everyone's with their spouse. How'd
it look if I showed up with no one?
326
00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,347
- You end up ignoring me and talking...
- Now listen to me.
327
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,141
This is an important business function.
328
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:13,394
As you know,
my business is selling an image
329
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:16,105
and part of my job
is to live that image...
330
00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:17,732
Honey, do me a favor.
331
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,526
Just say whatever you want to say
and spare me the propaganda.
332
00:30:20,694 --> 00:30:23,196
All right. Hi, Shirley!
333
00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:27,825
Listen, just do me a favor.
Act happy tonight.
334
00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:30,745
- I am happy, honey.
- No, you're not.
335
00:30:30,913 --> 00:30:32,705
Oh! That's Buddy!
336
00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:35,249
Buddy. Buddy!
337
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:38,920
- Hi.
- Hi! Good to see you again.
338
00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:41,839
It's so good to see you, too, Catherine.
339
00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:45,426
- Carolyn.
- Carolyn, of course. How are you?
340
00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,386
Very well, thank you.
341
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:49,472
- Hello, Christy.
- Hello.
342
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,601
- My husband, Lester.
- It's a pleasure.
343
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:56,437
We've met before, actually.
This thing last year.
344
00:30:56,605 --> 00:31:00,233
- Christmas at the Sheraton.
- Oh, yeah.
345
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:03,694
It's OK. I wouldn't remember me, either.
346
00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:10,243
Honey, don't be weird!
347
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,746
- All right, honey. I won't be weird.
- OK.
348
00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:18,209
- I'll be whatever you want me to be.
- Well, OK...
349
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,848
- We have a very healthy relationship.
- I see.
350
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,480
Well, I don't know about you guys,
but I need a drink.
351
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,447
Put a little more in there, cowboy.
352
00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:05,506
Excuse me.
353
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:09,719
Don't you live on Robin Hood Trail?
The house with the red door?
354
00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:11,345
Yeah.
355
00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:14,724
I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved
in the house next to you.
356
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:19,020
Hi, Ricky Fitts. I'm Lester Burnham.
357
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:21,689
Hi, Mr. Burnham.
358
00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:32,908
Do you party?
359
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,371
- Excuse me?
- Do you get high?
360
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:44,378
I probably wouldn't even tell you this
if I weren't a little tipsy
361
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:49,216
but... I'm in complete awe of you.
362
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:56,390
I mean, your firm is hands down the
Rolls Royce of local real estate firms
363
00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:59,727
and your personal sales record is...
364
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,190
It's very intimidating.
365
00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:09,487
You know, I'd love to sit down with you
and just pick your brain.
366
00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:11,697
If you'd ever be willing.
367
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:17,536
You know? I suppose, technically,
I'm the competition
368
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:21,415
but, I mean, I don't flatter myself
369
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,377
that I'm even in the same league as you.
370
00:33:24,544 --> 00:33:26,253
I don't.
371
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:28,714
I'd love to.
372
00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:33,719
- Really?
- Absolutely.
373
00:33:33,887 --> 00:33:36,847
Call my secretary.
Have her schedule a lunch.
374
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,851
I'll do that. Thank you.
375
00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:52,363
Did you see that movie where the body
is walking around carrying its own head
376
00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:55,199
and then the head
goes down on that babe?
377
00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:57,660
Re-Animator.
378
00:34:00,831 --> 00:34:05,126
Look, I'm not paying you to do
whatever it is you're doing out here.
379
00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:08,129
Fine. So don't pay me.
380
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:11,924
- Excuse me?
- I quit.
381
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:15,344
So you don't have to pay me.
Now leave me alone.
382
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,223
Asshole.
383
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,689
I think you just became
my personal hero.
384
00:34:27,816 --> 00:34:31,068
Doesn't that make you nervous,
just quitting your job like that?
385
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:35,656
Well, I guess when
you're all of, what, 16...
386
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:37,533
Eighteen.
387
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:40,661
I just do these gigs as a cover.
388
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:43,456
I have other sources of income.
389
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:46,208
But my dad interferes less in my life
390
00:34:46,376 --> 00:34:49,962
when I pretend to be an upstanding
young citizen with a respectable job.
391
00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:51,881
Lester?!
392
00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:56,177
What are you doing?
393
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:59,555
Honey, this... Ricky Fitts.
394
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:03,142
This is Ricky Fitts.
395
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:08,689
I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved
into the house next to you.
396
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,566
I go to school with your daughter.
397
00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:13,861
With Jane?
398
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:16,030
- Yeah. Jane.
- Really?
399
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,950
Hi. I'm ready to go.
400
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,702
I'll meet you out front.
401
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:29,043
I'm in trouble!
402
00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:34,215
Nice meeting you, Ricky Fitts.
Thanks for the... thing.
403
00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:36,050
Anytime. Lester!
404
00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:40,012
If you want any more,
you know where I live.
405
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:58,572
Shit. They're home.
Quick, let's go up to my room.
406
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:00,491
I should say hi to your dad.
407
00:36:01,368 --> 00:36:03,244
I don't want to be rude.
408
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,299
Nice suit.
409
00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:21,512
You're looking good, Mr. Burnham.
410
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,723
Last time I saw you,
you looked kind of wound up.
411
00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,230
Is that root beer?
412
00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,875
I love root beer, don't you?
413
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,463
- Hey.
- Hi, Mom.
414
00:37:37,631 --> 00:37:39,632
You remember Angela?
415
00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:41,759
Yes, of course.
416
00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:44,303
I forgot to tell you, she's gonna
spend the night. Is that OK?
417
00:37:53,647 --> 00:37:55,272
Sorry about my dad.
418
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,191
Don't be. I think it's funny.
419
00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:02,363
Yeah, to you, he's just another guy
who wants to jump your bones.
420
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:07,201
But to me, he's just...
too embarrassing to live.
421
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:12,414
Well, your mom's the one
who's embarrassing. What a phony.
422
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:14,458
But your dad's actually kind of cute.
423
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:15,960
Shut up.
424
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:19,630
He is. If he just worked out
a little, he'd be hot.
425
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,799
- Shut up!
- Come on!
426
00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:24,385
Like you've never sneaked a peek
at him in his underwear?
427
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,345
I bet he's got a big dick.
428
00:38:26,513 --> 00:38:29,056
You are so grossing me out right now!
429
00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:32,351
If he built up his chest and arms,
I would totally fuck him!
430
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:36,814
I would! I would suck
on your dad's big, fat dick
431
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:40,484
and then I'd fuck him
until his eyes rolled back in his head!
432
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,736
Jane! What's that noise?
433
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:49,034
- I swear I heard something.
- Yeah.
434
00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,829
That was the sound of you
being a huge, disgusting pig.
435
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:55,666
No, I'm serious. See?
436
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:00,754
- Oh, my God, Jane.
- What is it?
437
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:09,138
It's that psycho next door.
Jane, what if he worships you?
438
00:39:09,723 --> 00:39:12,349
What if he's got, like,
a shrine with pictures of you
439
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,852
surrounded by
dead people's heads and stuff?
440
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:17,938
Shit. I bet he's filming us right now.
441
00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:20,274
Really?
442
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:54,535
Welcome to America's
Weirdest Home Videos.
443
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,022
- Ricky?
- Coming, Dad.
444
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,611
You know I don't like locked doors
in my house, boy.
445
00:41:34,409 --> 00:41:36,827
I'm sorry. I must've locked it
by accident.
446
00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:40,080
So, what's up?
447
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:45,919
I need a urine sample.
448
00:41:47,297 --> 00:41:50,507
Wow. It's been six months already.
449
00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:54,261
Can I give it to you in the morning?
I just took a whiz.
450
00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:56,763
Yeah, I suppose.
451
00:42:01,102 --> 00:42:02,603
You know...
452
00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:14,072
Well... Good night, Son.
453
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:23,016
I've been waiting for you.
454
00:43:43,997 --> 00:43:46,164
You've been working out, haven't you?
455
00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,041
I could tell.
456
00:43:50,295 --> 00:43:52,379
I was hoping you'd give me a bath.
457
00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:55,507
I'm very, very dirty.
458
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:30,876
What are you doing?
459
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:33,795
Nothing.
460
00:44:34,630 --> 00:44:36,423
You were masturbating.
461
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:38,717
- I was not.
- Yes, you were.
462
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:43,096
All right, so shoot me!
I was whacking off.
463
00:44:44,057 --> 00:44:47,601
That's right, I was choking the bishop.
Chafing the carrot.
464
00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,604
You know, saying hi to my monster.
465
00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:53,690
- That's disgusting!
- Excuse me,
466
00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:56,735
but some of us still have blood
pumping through our veins!
467
00:44:56,903 --> 00:44:58,612
- So do I!
- Really?
468
00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:01,490
I'm the only one who seems
to be doing anything about it!
469
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,661
Lester, I refuse to live like this.
470
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,205
This is not a marriage!
471
00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:11,458
This hasn't been a marriage for years.
472
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:14,169
But you were happy
as long as I kept my mouth shut.
473
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:19,132
Guess what? I've changed. And the
new me whacks off when he feels horny,
474
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:22,094
'cause you're obviously not gonna
help me out in that department.
475
00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:24,805
I see. You think you're the only one
who's sexually frustrated.
476
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:28,058
I'm not? Well,
then come on, baby, I'm ready!
477
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:30,185
Don't you mess with me, mister.
478
00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:33,480
I will divorce you so fast
it'll make your head spin!
479
00:45:33,648 --> 00:45:35,732
On what grounds?
480
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,485
I'm not a drunk.
I don't fuck other women.
481
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:40,695
I don't mistreat you.
I've never hit you.
482
00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:43,657
I don't even try to touch you
since you made it abundantly clear
483
00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:45,992
just how unnecessary
you consider me to be!
484
00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:51,331
But I did support you
when you got your license.
485
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:55,001
And some people might think that
entitles me to half of what's yours.
486
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,675
So turn out the light
when you come back to bed, OK?
487
00:46:14,313 --> 00:46:16,022
It's a great thing when you realize
488
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:19,025
you still have the ability
to surprise yourself.
489
00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:24,281
Makes you wonder what else you can do
that you've forgotten about.
490
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:25,782
Hey, guys!
491
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:29,369
- Lester, I didn't know you ran.
- I just started.
492
00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:30,704
Good for you.
493
00:46:30,872 --> 00:46:34,833
I figured you might be able to give me
some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
494
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:37,169
Are you looking to just lose weight
495
00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:40,755
or do you want to have increased
strength and flexibility as well?
496
00:46:42,216 --> 00:46:44,050
I want to look good naked.
497
00:46:59,692 --> 00:47:00,984
What is this?
498
00:47:01,152 --> 00:47:03,904
Fucking gay pride parade?
499
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,907
Hey, Ricky.
500
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:14,247
My life is passing before my eyes and
those two have barely broken a sweat.
501
00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:17,667
Sorry, hi. Lester Burnham.
I live next door. We haven't met.
502
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,669
Colonel Frank Fitts, US Marine Corps.
503
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:22,255
Oh, well...
504
00:47:23,216 --> 00:47:25,133
Welcome to the neighborhood, sir.
505
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:30,680
Ricky...
506
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:36,061
I was thinking about...
the movie we talked about.
507
00:47:36,229 --> 00:47:37,687
- Re-Animator.
- Yeah.
508
00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,981
You want to borrow it?
It's up in my room.
509
00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:41,733
- OK.
- Come on.
510
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:54,621
- Can you hold this for a sec?
- Sure.
511
00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:57,749
I don't think my dad would come in
while someone else is here,
512
00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:00,585
- but you never know.
- What is this?
513
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:02,671
Urine.
514
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:06,341
I have to take a drug test every
six months just to make sure I'm clean.
515
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:10,095
Are you kidding?
You just smoked with me last night.
516
00:48:10,263 --> 00:48:12,305
It's not mine.
517
00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:16,017
One of my clients is a nurse
in a pediatrician's office.
518
00:48:16,185 --> 00:48:19,229
I cut her a deal,
she keeps me in clean piss.
519
00:48:22,108 --> 00:48:23,775
You like Pink Floyd?
520
00:48:25,444 --> 00:48:27,070
I like a lot of music.
521
00:48:28,990 --> 00:48:31,992
Man, I haven't listened
to this album in years.
522
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,161
How much do you want?
523
00:48:35,997 --> 00:48:39,833
I don't know. It's been a while.
How much is an ounce?
524
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:46,548
This is totally decent,
and it's 300.
525
00:48:49,677 --> 00:48:52,345
This shit is top-of-the-line.
526
00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:55,849
It's called G-13. It's genetically
engineered by the US government.
527
00:48:56,017 --> 00:48:59,894
It's extremely potent, but
a completely mellow high. No paranoia.
528
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:03,898
Is that what we smoked last night?
529
00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:06,651
This is all I ever smoke.
530
00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:14,075
- How much?
- Two grand.
531
00:49:14,243 --> 00:49:16,202
Jesus!
532
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:19,331
Things have changed since 1973.
533
00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:21,875
You don't have to pay now.
I know you're good for it.
534
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:23,043
Thanks.
535
00:49:23,210 --> 00:49:25,462
There's a card in there
with my beeper number.
536
00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,672
Beep me any time, day or night.
537
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,217
And I only accept cash.
538
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:34,429
Now I know how you can afford
all this equipment.
539
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:40,060
When I was your age, I flipped burgers
all summer just to buy an 8-track.
540
00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:41,728
That sucks.
541
00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:44,314
No. Actually, it was great.
542
00:49:45,941 --> 00:49:48,193
All I did was party and get laid.
543
00:49:50,446 --> 00:49:52,614
I had my whole life ahead of me.
544
00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:58,244
My dad thinks I pay for all this
with catering jobs.
545
00:50:00,081 --> 00:50:02,374
Never underestimate the power of denial.
546
00:50:36,492 --> 00:50:38,702
What the hell do you think you're doing?
547
00:50:41,288 --> 00:50:43,957
Mom's mad. Bench presses.
548
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:48,420
I'm going to whale on my pecs,
and then I'm going to do my back.
549
00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:53,633
I see you're smoking pot now.
I'm so glad.
550
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,969
I think using illegal
psychotropic substances
551
00:50:56,137 --> 00:50:58,763
is a very positive example
to set for our daughter.
552
00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:03,059
You're one to talk, you bloodless,
money-grubbing freak.
553
00:51:05,438 --> 00:51:08,440
Lester, you have such hostility in you!
554
00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:11,151
Do you mind?
I'm trying to work out here.
555
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:12,777
Unless you want to spot me.
556
00:51:12,945 --> 00:51:18,658
Lester, you will not get away with this!
You can be sure of that!
557
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,246
That's... what...
558
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:25,290
...you... think.
559
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:30,336
"My job consists
of basically masking my contempt
560
00:51:30,504 --> 00:51:32,922
for the assholes in charge
561
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,341
and, at least once a day,
562
00:51:35,509 --> 00:51:39,012
retiring to the men's room
so I can jerk off
563
00:51:39,847 --> 00:51:44,601
while I fantasize about a life
that doesn't so closely resemble hell."
564
00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:48,980
Well, you obviously have
no interest in saving yourself.
565
00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:53,401
Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore
for the advertising industry.
566
00:51:53,569 --> 00:51:56,988
The only way I could save myself now
is if I start firebombing.
567
00:51:57,156 --> 00:52:00,366
Whatever. Management wants you gone
by the end of the day.
568
00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:04,037
What sort of severance package
is management prepared to offer me
569
00:52:04,205 --> 00:52:07,165
considering the information I have
about our editorial director
570
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:11,044
buying pussy with company money?
Which I think would interest the IRS,
571
00:52:11,212 --> 00:52:13,379
since it technically constitutes fraud.
572
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:16,800
I'm sure that some of our advertisers
and rival publications
573
00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:20,929
might like to know about it as well.
Not to mention... Craig's wife.
574
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:27,310
- What do you want?
- One year's salary with benefits.
575
00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:29,229
That's not going to happen.
576
00:52:30,689 --> 00:52:33,942
What do you say I throw in a little
sexual harassment charge to boot?
577
00:52:37,029 --> 00:52:39,739
- Against who?
- Against you.
578
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:43,326
Can you prove that you
didn't offer to save my job
579
00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:45,912
if I let you blow me?
580
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,420
Man... You are one twisted fuck.
581
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,257
Nope.
582
00:52:57,424 --> 00:53:00,844
I'm just an ordinary guy
with nothing to lose.
583
00:53:06,684 --> 00:53:08,142
Yeah!
584
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,943
- Carolyn.
- Buddy.
585
00:53:17,111 --> 00:53:18,945
I am so sorry to have kept you waiting.
586
00:53:21,866 --> 00:53:23,616
Christy left for New York this morning.
587
00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:27,203
Let's just say things were
a little hectic around the house.
588
00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:29,080
What's she doing in New York?
589
00:53:29,248 --> 00:53:32,917
She's moving there.
Yes. We are splitting up.
590
00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:37,338
- Buddy, I'm so sorry.
- Yes.
591
00:53:37,506 --> 00:53:41,426
According to her,
I'm too focused on my career.
592
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:47,557
As if being driven to succeed
is some sort of a character flaw.
593
00:53:48,434 --> 00:53:52,812
She certainly did take advantage of
the lifestyle my success afforded her.
594
00:53:57,192 --> 00:53:58,902
It's for the best.
595
00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:04,490
When I saw you two at the party the
other night, you seemed perfectly happy.
596
00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:06,409
Call me crazy...
597
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:12,081
...but it is my philosophy
that in order to be successful,
598
00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:16,419
one must project an image
of success at all times.
599
00:54:36,482 --> 00:54:38,274
What are you doing?
600
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:41,361
I was filming this dead bird.
601
00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:42,946
Why?
602
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,864
Because it's beautiful.
603
00:54:47,910 --> 00:54:50,995
I think maybe you forgot
your medication today, mental-boy.
604
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,707
Hi, Jane.
605
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,919
Look, I want you to stop filming me.
606
00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:01,714
OK.
607
00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:04,342
Well, whatever. This is boring.
608
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:06,010
Let's go.
609
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:10,640
- Do you need a ride?
- Are you crazy?
610
00:55:10,808 --> 00:55:13,977
I don't want to end up hacked to pieces
in a dumpster somewhere.
611
00:55:14,144 --> 00:55:17,522
It's OK. I'll walk. But thanks.
612
00:55:17,690 --> 00:55:19,941
See? He doesn't want to go anyway.
Come on. Let's go.
613
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,444
Come on, Jane.
614
00:55:23,612 --> 00:55:25,029
I think I'm gonna walk, too.
615
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:30,785
What? Jane, that's,
like, almost a mile!
616
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,303
God! I love it!
617
00:55:49,805 --> 00:55:53,141
- You like getting nailed by the king?
- Yes, I love it!
618
00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:55,977
Fuck me, Your Majesty!
619
00:55:56,145 --> 00:55:57,478
- Who's the king?
- You are!
620
00:55:57,646 --> 00:55:59,063
Who's the king?
621
00:56:15,497 --> 00:56:17,623
American woman
622
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,293
Stay away from me
623
00:56:20,461 --> 00:56:22,628
American woman
624
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,590
Mama let me be
625
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:29,135
Don't come hanging around my door
626
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:31,971
I don't wanna see your face no more
627
00:56:32,139 --> 00:56:36,684
I got better things to do
Than spend my life growing old with you
628
00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:38,686
Now woman
629
00:56:38,854 --> 00:56:41,481
♪ I said, "Stay away"
630
00:56:41,648 --> 00:56:45,943
- Smile, you're at Mr. Smiley's.
- What?
631
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,446
Would you like to try
our new bacon and egg fajita,
632
00:56:48,614 --> 00:56:51,324
just $1 .29 for a limited time only?
633
00:56:51,492 --> 00:56:53,367
No, but thank you.
634
00:56:53,535 --> 00:56:57,330
I'd like the Big Barn Burger,
Smiley Fries, and an orange soda.
635
00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,582
Please drive up to the window.
Thank you.
636
00:57:01,835 --> 00:57:04,504
Smile, you're at Mr. Smiley's.
That'll be $4.98, please.
637
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,301
- Would you like some Smiley Sauce?
- No, no.
638
00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:12,762
Actually, I'd like
to fill out an application.
639
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,264
There's no jobs for manager.
It's just for counter.
640
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,933
Good.
641
00:57:17,101 --> 00:57:21,270
I'm looking for the least possible
amount of responsibility.
642
00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:26,359
I don't think you'd fit in here.
643
00:57:26,527 --> 00:57:29,737
I have fast-food experience.
644
00:57:29,905 --> 00:57:31,948
Yeah, like 20 years ago!
645
00:57:32,116 --> 00:57:36,035
I'm sure there have been amazing
technological advances in the industry,
646
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,704
but surely you must have
some sort of training program.
647
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,582
It seems unfair to presume
I won't be able to learn.
648
00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:48,631
That was exactly what I needed.
649
00:57:52,136 --> 00:57:54,595
The royal treatment, so to speak.
650
00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:59,350
I was so stressed out.
651
00:58:07,526 --> 00:58:10,236
- Know what I do when I feel like that?
- What?
652
00:58:12,239 --> 00:58:14,282
I fire a gun.
653
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:15,616
Really?
654
00:58:15,784 --> 00:58:17,702
Yeah, I go to this little
firing range downtown
655
00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:21,038
and I just pop off a few rounds.
656
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,417
I've never fired a gun before.
657
00:58:24,585 --> 00:58:26,252
Well, you've got to try it.
658
00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:28,462
Nothing makes you feel more powerful.
659
00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:35,136
Well, almost nothing.
660
00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:42,602
So, do you like your new house?
661
00:58:42,769 --> 00:58:43,978
I like it.
662
00:58:44,146 --> 00:58:47,356
The people who used to live there fed
stray cats, so they were always around,
663
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:50,443
and it drove my mother nuts.
664
00:58:50,611 --> 00:58:52,737
And then she cut down their tree.
665
00:58:54,448 --> 00:58:57,241
- Is that a funeral?
- Yeah.
666
00:58:58,327 --> 00:59:00,828
Have you ever known
anybody who died?
667
00:59:00,996 --> 00:59:02,955
No. Have you?
668
00:59:03,123 --> 00:59:04,916
No.
669
00:59:06,126 --> 00:59:08,836
But I did see this homeless woman
who froze to death once.
670
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:12,798
Just lying there on the sidewalk.
She looked really sad.
671
00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:29,815
I got that homeless woman
on videotape.
672
00:59:29,983 --> 00:59:32,026
Why would you film that?
673
00:59:32,194 --> 00:59:33,945
Because it was amazing.
674
00:59:34,112 --> 00:59:36,072
What's amazing about it?
675
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,241
When you see something like that
676
00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:41,327
it's like God is looking right at you,
just for a second.
677
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:44,956
And if you're careful,
you can look right back.
678
00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:46,749
And what do you see?
679
00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:49,669
Beauty.
680
01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:08,521
Mom? I want you to meet somebody.
681
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:15,695
- Mom?
- Yes.
682
01:00:17,990 --> 01:00:21,200
I want you to meet somebody.
This is Jane.
683
01:00:22,411 --> 01:00:24,495
- Hi.
- Oh, my.
684
01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:27,456
I apologize for the way
things look around here.
685
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:39,969
This is where my dad hides out.
686
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:43,055
I take it he's got a thing for guns.
687
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,517
You got to see this one thing.
688
01:00:48,937 --> 01:00:51,063
My dad would kill me
if he knew I was in here.
689
01:00:52,357 --> 01:00:54,150
Did you steal his keys?
690
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:57,069
No. One of my clients is a locksmith.
691
01:00:57,237 --> 01:00:59,822
He was short on cash one night,
so I let him pay me in trade.
692
01:01:14,546 --> 01:01:15,963
Turn it over.
693
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:21,677
Oh, my God.
694
01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:24,805
It's, like, official state china
of the Third Reich.
695
01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:28,476
There's a whole subculture of people
who collect this Nazi shit.
696
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:31,729
But my dad just has this one thing.
697
01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:47,119
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
698
01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:52,166
- No, you're scared of me.
- No, I'm not.
699
01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:56,420
You want to see the most beautiful thing
I've ever filmed?
700
01:02:21,113 --> 01:02:23,322
It was one of those days
701
01:02:23,490 --> 01:02:26,325
where it's a minute away from snowing...
702
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:30,996
...and there's this electricity
in the air.
703
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:35,709
You can almost hear it.
704
01:02:36,670 --> 01:02:38,170
Right?
705
01:02:42,509 --> 01:02:44,218
And this bag was just...
706
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:48,597
...dancing with me.
707
01:02:51,351 --> 01:02:53,769
Like a little kid,
begging me to play with it.
708
01:02:56,273 --> 01:02:58,357
For 15 minutes.
709
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:04,738
That's the day I realized
that there was this...
710
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:09,535
...entire life behind things...
711
01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:16,542
...and this incredibly benevolent force
712
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:20,588
that wanted me to know that
there was no reason to be afraid...
713
01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:25,050
...ever.
714
01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:30,389
Video's a poor excuse, I know.
715
01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:35,186
But it helps me remember.
716
01:03:39,608 --> 01:03:41,192
I need to remember.
717
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,701
Sometimes there is so much...
718
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:56,081
...beauty... in the world.
719
01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,961
I feel like I can't take it.
720
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,426
And my heart...
721
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:12,139
...is just going to cave in.
722
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:02,231
Oh, my God. What time is it?
723
01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:13,033
- Sorry I'm late.
- That's quite all right, dear.
724
01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:16,328
Your father and I were just
discussing his day at work.
725
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,497
Why don't you tell our daughter
about it, honey?
726
01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:22,585
Janie, today I quit my job.
Then I told my boss to go fuck himself
727
01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:25,671
and blackmailed him for almost $60,000.
Pass the asparagus.
728
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:29,091
Your father seems to think this kind
of behavior is something to be proud of.
729
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:32,136
Your mother seems to prefer
I go through life like a prisoner
730
01:05:32,304 --> 01:05:34,263
while she keeps my dick
in a jar under the sink.
731
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:36,890
How dare you speak to me
that way in front of her?
732
01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:39,518
I marvel that you can be
so contemptuous of me
733
01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:42,187
on the same day
that you lose your job!
734
01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:45,107
I didn't lose it. It's not like,
"Where'd my job go?" I quit!
735
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:47,610
Someone pass the asparagus, please.
736
01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:50,029
Thank you for putting me
under the added pressure
737
01:05:50,196 --> 01:05:52,781
- of being the sole breadwinner now.
- I already have a job.
738
01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:55,534
Don't give a second thought
as to who's gonna pay the mortgage.
739
01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:57,286
We'll just leave it all to Carolyn!
740
01:05:57,454 --> 01:05:59,371
"You're gonna take care of everything?"
741
01:05:59,539 --> 01:06:00,789
"Yes, I don't mind."
742
01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:04,043
"You mean everything? You don't mind
having the sole responsibility?
743
01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,128
Your husband feels he
can quit his job..."
744
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,380
Will someone pass
the fucking asparagus?
745
01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:11,216
- I'm not gonna be a part of this.
- Sit down!
746
01:06:31,905 --> 01:06:34,740
I am sick and tired of being treated
like I don't exist.
747
01:06:34,908 --> 01:06:37,993
You two do whatever you want to do
whenever you want,
748
01:06:38,161 --> 01:06:39,912
and I don't complain. All I want...
749
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:42,581
You don't complain?
Please! Excuse me, excuse me!
750
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:45,334
I must be psychotic!
If you don't complain, what is this?
751
01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:47,920
Yeah, let's bring in the laugh meter
752
01:06:48,088 --> 01:06:50,673
and see how loud it gets on that one!
You don't...
753
01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:02,851
Don't interrupt me, honey.
754
01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:18,826
And another thing.
755
01:07:18,993 --> 01:07:21,453
From now on, we're going
to alternate our dinner music
756
01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:24,123
because, frankly,
and I don't think I'm alone here,
757
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,875
I am really tired
of this Lawrence Welk shit.
758
01:07:36,344 --> 01:07:37,886
Go away!
759
01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,472
Honey, please let me in.
760
01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:54,737
I wish that you hadn't witnessed that
awful scene, but in a way, I'm glad.
761
01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:57,489
Why? So I can see
what freaks you and Dad really are?
762
01:07:58,616 --> 01:08:00,117
Me?
763
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:04,663
Oh, God.
764
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,666
Christ, Mom.
765
01:08:08,626 --> 01:08:10,753
No, I'm glad because...
766
01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:17,134
Because you're old enough now to learn
the most important lesson in life:
767
01:08:18,678 --> 01:08:22,639
You cannot count on anyone
except yourself.
768
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:30,022
You cannot count on anyone
except yourself.
769
01:08:32,150 --> 01:08:34,234
You know, it's sad but true.
770
01:08:35,195 --> 01:08:37,362
And the sooner you learn it, the better.
771
01:08:38,072 --> 01:08:41,492
Look, Mom, I really don't feel like
having a Kodak moment here, OK?
772
01:08:42,619 --> 01:08:44,328
You ungrateful little brat!
773
01:08:45,371 --> 01:08:47,539
Just look at everything you have!
774
01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:50,167
When I was your age,
I lived in a duplex!
775
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:52,211
We didn't even have our own house.
776
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:56,919
You little bastard!
777
01:10:57,086 --> 01:10:59,838
- No, I just...
- How did you get in there?
778
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,798
How? How?
779
01:11:03,885 --> 01:11:06,011
Come on, get up! Come on!
780
01:11:06,179 --> 01:11:07,971
Get up!
781
01:11:08,139 --> 01:11:10,015
Fight back, you little pussy!
782
01:11:10,183 --> 01:11:11,850
No, sir, I won't fight you!
783
01:11:12,018 --> 01:11:15,854
- How?! How did you get in there?
- I picked the lock, sir.
784
01:11:16,022 --> 01:11:19,650
What were you looking for? Money?
Are you on dope again?
785
01:11:19,817 --> 01:11:22,986
No, sir. I wanted to show
my girlfriend your Nazi plate.
786
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:27,616
- A girlfriend?
- Yes, sir. She lives next door.
787
01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:42,631
Her name's Jane.
788
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,278
This is for your own good, boy.
789
01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:13,286
You have no respect for other people's
things and for authority.
790
01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:14,746
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
791
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:19,042
Can't just go around doing
whatever you feel like!
792
01:12:19,210 --> 01:12:23,171
- You can't! There are rules in life.
- Yes, sir.
793
01:12:26,426 --> 01:12:29,261
You need structure, yeah.
794
01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:31,680
- You need discipline!
- Discipline. Yes, sir.
795
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:34,933
Thank you for trying to teach me.
Don't give up on me, Dad.
796
01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:41,940
Ricky...
797
01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:49,656
You stay out of there!
798
01:13:38,414 --> 01:13:42,167
I gotta say, when you first came here,
I thought you would be hopeless.
799
01:13:42,335 --> 01:13:43,543
But you're a natural.
800
01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:47,089
Well, all I know is,
I love shooting this gun!
801
01:13:48,966 --> 01:13:52,302
Don't tell me not to fly
I've simply got to
802
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:55,555
If someone takes a spill
It's me and not you
803
01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:59,684
Don't bring around the cloud
to rain on my parade
804
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:06,149
♪ I'm gonna march my band out
805
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,860
I'll beat my drum
806
01:14:09,028 --> 01:14:12,197
And if I'm found out
807
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:15,283
Your turn at bat, sir
808
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:18,036
At least I didn't fake it
Hat, sir
809
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:20,038
So what? I didn't make it
810
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:24,543
Nobody
811
01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:28,964
I said nobody
812
01:14:30,341 --> 01:14:32,884
Nobody
813
01:14:33,052 --> 01:14:37,597
Had better rain on
814
01:14:37,765 --> 01:14:42,853
My parade
815
01:15:00,371 --> 01:15:01,913
What?
816
01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,791
Whose car is that out front?
817
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:07,752
Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird,
818
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,422
the car I've always wanted,
and now I have it.
819
01:15:10,590 --> 01:15:13,049
- I rule.
- Where's the Camry?
820
01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:15,260
I traded it in.
821
01:15:15,428 --> 01:15:17,637
Shouldn't you have consulted me first?
822
01:15:18,389 --> 01:15:19,764
Let me think.
823
01:15:19,932 --> 01:15:21,975
No. You never drove it.
824
01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:26,771
Have you done something different?
You look great.
825
01:15:32,111 --> 01:15:33,820
Where's Jane?
826
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,281
Jane not home.
827
01:15:42,788 --> 01:15:44,539
We have...
828
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:49,544
...the whole house...
829
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:52,631
...to ourselves.
830
01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:57,093
Christ, Carolyn.
831
01:15:58,137 --> 01:15:59,804
When did you become so...
832
01:16:02,225 --> 01:16:04,017
...joyless?
833
01:16:05,353 --> 01:16:07,854
Joyless?
834
01:16:08,022 --> 01:16:09,689
I am not joyless.
835
01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:12,984
There happens to be a lot about me
836
01:16:13,152 --> 01:16:16,112
that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man.
837
01:16:17,323 --> 01:16:20,158
There is plenty of joy in my life.
838
01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:24,955
Whatever happened to that girl...
839
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:32,879
...who used to fake seizures
at frat parties when she got bored?
840
01:16:34,548 --> 01:16:39,344
Who used to run up to the roof
of our first apartment building
841
01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:42,180
to flash the traffic helicopters?
842
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:46,309
Have you totally forgotten about her?
843
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:48,895
Because I haven't.
844
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:04,661
Lester, you're gonna
spill beer on the couch.
845
01:17:12,753 --> 01:17:14,337
So what? It's just a couch.
846
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:21,386
This is a $4,000 sofa
upholstered in Italian silk!
847
01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:23,054
This is not just a couch!
848
01:17:23,222 --> 01:17:26,891
It's just a couch!
849
01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:29,227
This isn't life!
850
01:17:29,395 --> 01:17:31,396
This is just stuff.
851
01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:36,109
And it's become more important to you
than living. Honey, that's just nuts.
852
01:17:45,578 --> 01:17:47,996
I'm only trying to help you!
853
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:56,129
Don't.
854
01:17:56,297 --> 01:17:57,630
Why?
855
01:18:01,093 --> 01:18:05,930
It's weird watching myself.
I don't like how I look.
856
01:18:08,851 --> 01:18:11,519
Can't believe you don't know
how beautiful you are.
857
01:18:11,687 --> 01:18:14,773
Look, I'm not gonna
sit here for that shit.
858
01:18:25,451 --> 01:18:27,702
How does it feel now?
859
01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:30,955
- Fine.
- You don't feel naked?
860
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,084
I am naked.
861
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:36,419
You know what I mean.
862
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:48,473
So tell me about being in the hospital.
863
01:18:52,436 --> 01:18:56,147
When I was 15,
my dad caught me smoking dope.
864
01:18:56,315 --> 01:18:59,734
He totally freaked and
decided to send me to military school.
865
01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:05,031
I told you his thing
about structure and discipline, right?
866
01:19:05,199 --> 01:19:08,326
Well, of course, I got kicked out.
867
01:19:09,578 --> 01:19:11,246
Dad and I had this huge fight.
868
01:19:11,414 --> 01:19:13,748
He hit me.
869
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:18,503
And the next day at school,
some kid made a crack about my haircut.
870
01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:22,215
And I just snapped.
871
01:19:26,303 --> 01:19:28,096
I wanted to kill him.
872
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,933
I would've killed him...
873
01:19:34,228 --> 01:19:36,146
...if they hadn't pulled me off.
874
01:19:39,859 --> 01:19:43,319
That's when my dad
put me in the hospital.
875
01:19:43,487 --> 01:19:46,865
They drugged me up and
left me in there for two years.
876
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:53,455
You must really hate him.
877
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,502
He's not a bad man.
878
01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:03,465
You'd better believe I'd hate my dad
if he did something like that to me.
879
01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:07,719
Wait. I already do hate my dad.
880
01:20:10,264 --> 01:20:11,264
Why?
881
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:16,227
He's a total asshole.
882
01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:20,315
He's got this crush on my friend Angela,
and it's disgusting.
883
01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:22,692
You'd rather he had the crush on you.
884
01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:26,196
Gross. No.
885
01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,244
But it'd be nice if I was anywhere near
as important to him as she is.
886
01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:40,960
I know you think my dad's harmless,
but you're wrong.
887
01:20:42,588 --> 01:20:45,590
He's doing massive
psychological damage to me.
888
01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,134
How?
889
01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,679
Well, now, I, too, need structure.
890
01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:53,806
A little fucking discipline.
891
01:21:05,361 --> 01:21:07,028
I'm serious, though.
892
01:21:08,239 --> 01:21:10,406
How could he not be damaging me?
893
01:21:13,118 --> 01:21:15,787
I need a father who's a role model.
894
01:21:15,955 --> 01:21:18,289
Not some horny geek-boy
who's gonna spray his shorts
895
01:21:18,457 --> 01:21:21,125
whenever I bring a girlfriend
home from school.
896
01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:25,129
What a lame-o.
897
01:21:28,259 --> 01:21:31,261
Someone really should just
put him out of his misery.
898
01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,808
Want me to kill him for you?
899
01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:48,278
Yeah. Would you?
900
01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:51,948
It'll cost you.
901
01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:54,492
I've been babysitting
since I was about ten.
902
01:21:54,660 --> 01:21:57,453
I've got almost $3,000.
903
01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:02,667
Course, I was saving it up
for a boob job.
904
01:22:04,587 --> 01:22:06,629
But...
905
01:22:20,019 --> 01:22:22,520
You know, that's not
a very nice thing to do.
906
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:27,817
Hiring someone to kill your dad.
907
01:22:31,113 --> 01:22:33,865
I guess I'm not
a very nice girl, then, am I?
908
01:22:58,390 --> 01:23:00,725
You know I'm not serious, right?
909
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,686
Of course.
910
01:23:18,661 --> 01:23:20,995
You know how lucky we are
to have found each other?
911
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:29,128
Remember those posters that said:
912
01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:32,548
"Today is the first day
of the rest of your life"?
913
01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:37,470
Well, that's true
of every day except one:
914
01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:40,390
The day you die.
915
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:21,597
Jane, hurry up.
916
01:24:21,765 --> 01:24:24,225
I've got a very important appointment.
917
01:24:24,393 --> 01:24:27,019
Mom, is it OK
if Angela sleeps over tonight?
918
01:24:27,187 --> 01:24:29,313
Well, of course. She's always welcome.
919
01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:33,276
I thought you two had a fight. I haven't
seen her around here in a while.
920
01:24:40,784 --> 01:24:43,494
- What?
- I've been too embarrassed
921
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:45,997
to bring her over.
922
01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:48,833
Because of you
and that way you behave.
923
01:24:49,001 --> 01:24:51,669
What are you talking about?
I've barely even spoken to her.
924
01:24:51,837 --> 01:24:55,089
You stare at her all the time!
Like you're drunk!
925
01:24:55,257 --> 01:24:57,175
- It's disgusting!
- Watch yourself, Jane,
926
01:24:57,342 --> 01:25:00,553
or you're gonna turn into
a real bitch, just like your mother!
927
01:25:05,184 --> 01:25:06,350
Fuck.
928
01:25:14,359 --> 01:25:15,943
You ready to go?
929
01:25:17,613 --> 01:25:20,948
I don't need a ride.
I'm going in with Jane and her mom.
930
01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:30,541
Oh, morning.
931
01:25:31,794 --> 01:25:35,421
- Hey, Ricky. How's it going?
- Pretty decent, Mr. Burnham.
932
01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,006
Hey, hey.
933
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:59,213
I need that Super Smiley
with cheese ASAP!
934
01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:01,632
You need more than that,
my little hombre.
935
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:05,094
- Yeah. What's good here?
- Nothing!
936
01:27:05,262 --> 01:27:08,347
Then I guess we'll
just have to be bad, won't we?
937
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:11,809
I'll have a Double Smiley sandwich,
938
01:27:11,977 --> 01:27:14,270
- curly fries and a vanilla shake.
- Make that two!
939
01:27:14,438 --> 01:27:17,356
That'll be $7.98. Please drive up
to the window. Thank you.
940
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:22,820
I think we deserve a little junk food
after the workout we had this morning.
941
01:27:24,615 --> 01:27:27,158
- Did you know that?
- Thank you. I'm flattered.
942
01:27:28,660 --> 01:27:30,953
Smile! You're at Mister Smiley's!
943
01:27:33,457 --> 01:27:35,917
Would you like to try our new beef
and cheese pot pie on a stick?
944
01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:38,294
Just $1 .99 for a limited time only?
945
01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:40,838
We were just at a seminar.
946
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,341
- Buddy, this is my...
- Her husband.
947
01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:45,259
We've met before,
948
01:27:45,427 --> 01:27:49,388
but something tells me you're going
to remember me this time.
949
01:27:51,391 --> 01:27:53,517
You are so busted.
950
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:55,645
This really doesn't concern you!
951
01:27:55,812 --> 01:28:00,441
Actually, Janine is senior drive-thru
manager, so you kind of are on her turf.
952
01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:07,198
So, this makes sense.
953
01:28:07,366 --> 01:28:09,825
- Oh, Lester...
- Honey, it's OK.
954
01:28:09,993 --> 01:28:11,953
I want you to be happy.
955
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:15,164
- Would you like Smiley sauce with that?
- Lester, just stop it!
956
01:28:15,332 --> 01:28:17,208
No, no. You...
957
01:28:18,043 --> 01:28:21,003
...don't get to tell me what to do...
958
01:28:21,171 --> 01:28:23,255
...ever... again.
959
01:28:37,521 --> 01:28:39,188
I'm sorry.
960
01:28:41,066 --> 01:28:43,275
I guess we should cool it for a while.
961
01:28:46,196 --> 01:28:48,990
I'm facing a potentially
very expensive divorce.
962
01:28:49,157 --> 01:28:51,909
No. I understand completely.
963
01:28:54,830 --> 01:28:56,205
In order to be successful,
964
01:28:56,373 --> 01:28:59,041
one must project an image
of success at all times.
965
01:29:25,944 --> 01:29:27,903
Stop it. Stop it.
966
01:30:09,321 --> 01:30:10,321
Shit.
967
01:30:17,329 --> 01:30:19,413
I have to run next door.
968
01:30:19,581 --> 01:30:22,666
Jane left her geometry book in my bag.
She needs it to do her homework.
969
01:30:33,261 --> 01:30:37,598
You and psycho-boy are fucking
on a regular basis now, right?
970
01:30:37,766 --> 01:30:41,018
- No.
- Come on, you can tell me.
971
01:30:41,186 --> 01:30:42,186
Does he have a big dick?
972
01:30:42,354 --> 01:30:46,732
I'm not going to talk about his dick
with you, OK? It's not like that.
973
01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:49,443
Not like what? Doesn't he have one?
974
01:30:50,362 --> 01:30:52,196
Why don't you want to talk about it?
975
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:54,865
I tell you every single detail
about every guy that I fuck.
976
01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:58,077
Yeah, and maybe you shouldn't,
all right?
977
01:30:58,245 --> 01:31:00,496
Maybe I really don't want
to hear about all that.
978
01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:03,999
So now that you have a boyfriend,
you're above it?
979
01:31:05,377 --> 01:31:07,211
We got to get you a real man.
980
01:31:28,817 --> 01:31:30,401
- You got any papers?
- Yeah.
981
01:31:30,569 --> 01:31:32,403
In the cigar box right over there.
982
01:31:32,571 --> 01:31:34,989
Put up a fight, dude.
You are such a pushover.
983
01:31:35,157 --> 01:31:36,907
"No, I can't, really, no. OK."
984
01:31:37,075 --> 01:31:39,410
You should learn to roll a joint.
985
01:32:44,017 --> 01:32:46,101
- Hi.
- Where's Mom?
986
01:32:47,270 --> 01:32:49,480
- Don't know.
- Hi, Mr. Burnham.
987
01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:53,317
- Hi.
- Wow. Look at you.
988
01:32:54,402 --> 01:32:56,820
- Have you been working out?
- Some.
989
01:33:02,118 --> 01:33:03,953
You can really tell.
990
01:33:06,998 --> 01:33:08,666
Look at those arms.
991
01:33:13,171 --> 01:33:15,339
You like muscles?
992
01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,761
I should probably go see
what Jane's up to.
993
01:33:33,233 --> 01:33:35,150
Where did you get that?
994
01:33:37,362 --> 01:33:38,779
From my job.
995
01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:40,906
You don't lie to me.
996
01:33:43,034 --> 01:33:44,576
Now, I saw you with him.
997
01:33:46,413 --> 01:33:48,372
You were watching me?
998
01:33:50,041 --> 01:33:51,834
What did he make you do?
999
01:33:55,130 --> 01:33:57,172
Dad, you don't really think
me and Mr. Burnham...
1000
01:33:57,340 --> 01:33:59,216
Don't you laugh at me!
1001
01:34:00,760 --> 01:34:05,389
Now, I will not sit back and watch
my only son become a cocksucker!
1002
01:34:05,557 --> 01:34:06,932
Jesus! What is it with you?
1003
01:34:11,813 --> 01:34:15,357
I swear to God I'll throw you out of
this house and never look at you again!
1004
01:34:15,525 --> 01:34:19,486
- You mean that.
- You're damn straight I do!
1005
01:34:19,654 --> 01:34:23,073
I'd rather you were dead
than be a fucking faggot!
1006
01:34:34,919 --> 01:34:36,337
You're right.
1007
01:34:40,467 --> 01:34:43,218
- I suck dick for money.
- Boy, don't start!
1008
01:34:43,386 --> 01:34:45,888
$2,000. I'm that good.
1009
01:34:46,056 --> 01:34:47,181
Get out!
1010
01:34:47,349 --> 01:34:49,516
And you should see me fuck!
1011
01:34:49,684 --> 01:34:51,727
I'm the best piece of ass
in three states!
1012
01:34:51,895 --> 01:34:55,606
Damn it, get out!
I don't ever want to see you again!
1013
01:35:01,738 --> 01:35:05,407
What a sad old man you are.
1014
01:35:07,285 --> 01:35:09,495
Get out.
1015
01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:36,188
Mom...
1016
01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:40,234
- I'm leaving.
- OK.
1017
01:35:43,655 --> 01:35:45,239
Wear a raincoat.
1018
01:35:52,622 --> 01:35:55,207
I wish things would have
been better for you.
1019
01:35:59,671 --> 01:36:01,255
Take care of Dad.
1020
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,706
...disinvesting problems of power
1021
01:36:35,874 --> 01:36:38,709
and removing their ability
to make us afraid.
1022
01:36:38,877 --> 01:36:42,087
This is the secret
to "Me-Centered Living."
1023
01:36:42,255 --> 01:36:47,217
Only by taking full responsibility
for your actions and their solutions
1024
01:36:47,385 --> 01:36:51,472
will you ever break free from
the constant cycle of victimhood.
1025
01:36:51,639 --> 01:36:56,810
You are only a victim if you choose
to be a victim. We all have the power...
1026
01:36:56,978 --> 01:37:01,523
I don't think we can be friends anymore.
You're way too uptight about sex.
1027
01:37:01,691 --> 01:37:05,027
Just don't fuck my dad, all right?
1028
01:37:05,195 --> 01:37:07,112
- Please?
- Why not?
1029
01:37:08,615 --> 01:37:11,658
- Dad, leave us alone!
- It's me.
1030
01:37:13,578 --> 01:37:15,662
If I had to leave tonight,
would you come with me?
1031
01:37:15,830 --> 01:37:18,415
- What?
- If I had to go to New York to live,
1032
01:37:18,583 --> 01:37:20,250
tonight, would you come with me?
1033
01:37:22,712 --> 01:37:25,881
- Yes.
- You guys can't be serious!
1034
01:37:26,049 --> 01:37:28,425
You're just a kid,
and he's, like, a mental case.
1035
01:37:28,593 --> 01:37:30,844
You'll end up living in a box
on the street.
1036
01:37:31,012 --> 01:37:34,765
I'm no more a kid than you are!
We can use my plastic surgery money.
1037
01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:37,559
We won't have to.
I have over $40,000.
1038
01:37:37,727 --> 01:37:39,603
I know people in the city
that can help us.
1039
01:37:39,771 --> 01:37:42,022
- What, other drug dealers?
- Yes.
1040
01:37:42,190 --> 01:37:44,441
Jane, you'd be out of your mind
to go with him.
1041
01:37:44,609 --> 01:37:47,402
- Why do you even care?
- Because you're my friend!
1042
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:51,365
She's not your friend. She's someone
you use to feel better about yourself.
1043
01:37:51,533 --> 01:37:54,785
- Go fuck yourself, psycho!
- Shut up, bitch!
1044
01:37:54,953 --> 01:37:57,829
- Jane! He's a freak!
- Well, then so am I!
1045
01:37:57,997 --> 01:38:01,458
And we'll always be freaks,
and we'll never be like other people.
1046
01:38:01,626 --> 01:38:05,295
And you'll never be a freak
'cause you're just too perfect!
1047
01:38:06,005 --> 01:38:09,675
Yeah, well, at least I'm not ugly.
1048
01:38:11,970 --> 01:38:13,679
Yes, you are.
1049
01:38:13,846 --> 01:38:17,182
And you're boring.
And you're totally ordinary.
1050
01:38:18,518 --> 01:38:20,227
And you know it.
1051
01:38:22,397 --> 01:38:24,565
You two deserve each other.
1052
01:39:25,418 --> 01:39:27,210
Jesus, man, you're soaked!
1053
01:39:38,389 --> 01:39:40,724
You want me to get Ricky?
He's in Jane's room.
1054
01:39:43,394 --> 01:39:45,270
Are you OK?
1055
01:39:45,438 --> 01:39:47,564
Where's your wife?
1056
01:39:49,442 --> 01:39:51,318
I don't know.
1057
01:39:51,486 --> 01:39:54,488
Probably out fucking that dorky
prince-of-real-estate asshole.
1058
01:39:56,699 --> 01:39:58,200
And you know what?
1059
01:39:59,911 --> 01:40:01,203
I don't care.
1060
01:40:11,798 --> 01:40:15,926
Your wife is with another man
and you don't care?
1061
01:40:19,097 --> 01:40:20,430
Nope.
1062
01:40:20,598 --> 01:40:23,266
Our marriage is just for show.
1063
01:40:24,435 --> 01:40:27,479
A commercial for how normal we are
1064
01:40:27,647 --> 01:40:29,606
when we're anything but.
1065
01:40:37,490 --> 01:40:39,449
Jesus, man, you are shaking.
1066
01:40:40,118 --> 01:40:42,953
We really ought to get you
out of these clothes.
1067
01:40:43,121 --> 01:40:44,621
Yeah.
1068
01:40:46,541 --> 01:40:48,291
It's OK.
1069
01:40:52,046 --> 01:40:53,797
I am...
1070
01:40:55,633 --> 01:40:57,801
You just tell me what you need.
1071
01:41:02,056 --> 01:41:03,765
It's OK.
1072
01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:26,955
I'm sorry.
1073
01:41:28,040 --> 01:41:30,041
You got the wrong idea.
1074
01:42:07,288 --> 01:42:09,748
"I refuse to be a victim."
1075
01:42:09,916 --> 01:42:13,835
When this becomes your mantra,
constantly reinforcing your...
1076
01:42:17,924 --> 01:42:21,092
I refuse to be a victim!
1077
01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:07,681
I hope you don't mind
if I play the stereo.
1078
01:43:07,849 --> 01:43:09,683
Not at all.
1079
01:43:11,477 --> 01:43:13,478
Bad night?
1080
01:43:13,646 --> 01:43:14,980
Not really bad. Just...
1081
01:43:16,482 --> 01:43:18,441
...strange.
1082
01:43:18,609 --> 01:43:22,779
Believe me, it couldn't possibly
be any stranger than mine.
1083
01:43:31,706 --> 01:43:33,290
Jane and I had a fight.
1084
01:43:35,293 --> 01:43:36,626
It was about you.
1085
01:43:39,463 --> 01:43:41,006
She's mad at me because...
1086
01:43:42,800 --> 01:43:44,634
...I said I think you're sexy.
1087
01:43:47,847 --> 01:43:51,349
- Do you want a sip?
- Sure.
1088
01:44:20,421 --> 01:44:21,880
So...
1089
01:44:24,300 --> 01:44:26,217
...are you going to tell me?
1090
01:44:29,639 --> 01:44:31,514
What do you want?
1091
01:44:35,102 --> 01:44:36,686
I don't know.
1092
01:44:38,940 --> 01:44:40,190
You...
1093
01:44:40,816 --> 01:44:42,317
...don't know.
1094
01:44:43,527 --> 01:44:45,779
What do you want?
1095
01:44:47,198 --> 01:44:48,323
Are you kidding?
1096
01:44:50,284 --> 01:44:52,035
I want you.
1097
01:44:56,332 --> 01:44:59,250
I've wanted you
since the first moment I saw you.
1098
01:45:02,338 --> 01:45:05,298
You are the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.
1099
01:45:13,557 --> 01:45:15,558
You don't think I'm ordinary?
1100
01:45:18,729 --> 01:45:21,439
You couldn't be ordinary if you tried.
1101
01:45:24,735 --> 01:45:26,653
Thank you.
1102
01:45:27,863 --> 01:45:30,782
I don't think there's anything worse
than being ordinary.
1103
01:45:50,803 --> 01:45:53,805
I refuse to be a victim.
I refuse to be a victim.
1104
01:45:53,973 --> 01:45:55,890
I refuse to be a victim.
1105
01:45:56,058 --> 01:46:00,145
Lester... I have something
I have to say to you.
1106
01:46:50,863 --> 01:46:52,363
Are you scared?
1107
01:46:53,491 --> 01:46:55,325
I don't get scared.
1108
01:46:58,496 --> 01:47:00,330
My parents will try to find me.
1109
01:47:01,165 --> 01:47:02,874
Mine won't.
1110
01:47:24,355 --> 01:47:26,356
This is my first time.
1111
01:47:30,152 --> 01:47:31,945
You're kidding.
1112
01:47:32,113 --> 01:47:33,863
I'm sorry.
1113
01:47:34,824 --> 01:47:36,366
I still want to do it.
1114
01:47:36,534 --> 01:47:38,034
I just...
1115
01:47:38,202 --> 01:47:42,997
...thought I should tell you,
in case you wondered why I wasn't...
1116
01:47:44,792 --> 01:47:46,376
...better.
1117
01:47:58,639 --> 01:48:00,223
What's wrong?
1118
01:48:06,981 --> 01:48:09,023
I thought you said I was beautiful.
1119
01:48:10,943 --> 01:48:12,819
You are beautiful.
1120
01:48:15,698 --> 01:48:17,407
You are so...
1121
01:48:18,200 --> 01:48:19,701
...beautiful.
1122
01:48:22,538 --> 01:48:24,414
And I would be a very...
1123
01:48:25,791 --> 01:48:26,916
...lucky man.
1124
01:48:28,335 --> 01:48:30,587
I feel so stupid.
1125
01:48:30,754 --> 01:48:32,589
Don't.
1126
01:48:34,758 --> 01:48:36,593
I'm sorry.
1127
01:48:36,760 --> 01:48:39,262
You have nothing to be sorry about.
1128
01:48:40,931 --> 01:48:42,599
It's OK.
1129
01:48:43,893 --> 01:48:46,102
Everything's OK.
1130
01:49:02,119 --> 01:49:04,621
Wow. I was starving.
1131
01:49:05,956 --> 01:49:09,459
- Do you want me to make another one?
- No, I'm fine.
1132
01:49:09,627 --> 01:49:10,835
You sure?
1133
01:49:12,087 --> 01:49:15,548
I'm still a little weirded out,
but I feel better.
1134
01:49:15,716 --> 01:49:17,091
Thanks.
1135
01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:21,846
How's Jane?
1136
01:49:23,182 --> 01:49:24,265
What do you mean?
1137
01:49:25,809 --> 01:49:26,976
I mean...
1138
01:49:28,270 --> 01:49:30,563
...how's her life?
1139
01:49:30,731 --> 01:49:32,357
Is she happy?
1140
01:49:32,524 --> 01:49:34,651
Is she miserable?
1141
01:49:36,362 --> 01:49:40,448
I'd really like to know, and she'd die
before she'd ever tell me about it.
1142
01:49:43,744 --> 01:49:48,331
She's... she is really happy.
1143
01:49:49,833 --> 01:49:51,334
She thinks she's in love.
1144
01:50:03,889 --> 01:50:05,848
Good for her.
1145
01:50:09,687 --> 01:50:10,853
How are you?
1146
01:50:18,821 --> 01:50:21,614
It's been a long time
since anybody asked me that.
1147
01:50:28,706 --> 01:50:30,123
I'm great.
1148
01:50:37,214 --> 01:50:38,589
I've got to go to the bathroom.
1149
01:50:52,938 --> 01:50:54,605
I'm great.
1150
01:51:29,433 --> 01:51:31,059
Man, oh, man.
1151
01:51:34,438 --> 01:51:37,148
Man, oh, man, oh, man.
1152
01:52:13,560 --> 01:52:15,019
Oh, my God!
1153
01:53:00,774 --> 01:53:04,068
I had always heard your entire life
flashes in front of your eyes
1154
01:53:04,236 --> 01:53:06,237
the second before you die.
1155
01:53:07,781 --> 01:53:08,990
First of all...
1156
01:53:09,158 --> 01:53:12,535
...that one second
isn't a second at all.
1157
01:53:13,287 --> 01:53:17,790
It stretches on forever,
like an ocean of time.
1158
01:53:20,210 --> 01:53:24,422
For me, it was lying on my back
at Boy Scout camp
1159
01:53:24,590 --> 01:53:26,883
watching falling stars.
1160
01:53:35,559 --> 01:53:40,646
And yellow leaves from the
maple trees that lined our street.
1161
01:53:50,115 --> 01:53:55,036
Or my grandmother's hands and the way
her skin seemed like paper.
1162
01:54:02,920 --> 01:54:06,756
And the first time
I saw my cousin Tony's
1163
01:54:06,924 --> 01:54:09,759
brand-new Firebird.
1164
01:54:21,563 --> 01:54:22,939
And Janie.
1165
01:54:25,067 --> 01:54:26,901
And Janie.
1166
01:54:58,976 --> 01:55:01,102
And Carolyn.
1167
01:55:06,316 --> 01:55:09,944
I guess I could be pretty pissed off
about what happened to me,
1168
01:55:10,112 --> 01:55:14,407
but it's hard to stay mad when
there's so much beauty in the world.
1169
01:55:15,742 --> 01:55:20,037
Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it
all at once, and it's too much.
1170
01:55:20,998 --> 01:55:24,375
My heart fills up like a balloon
that's about to burst.
1171
01:55:26,253 --> 01:55:29,338
And then I remember to relax
1172
01:55:30,424 --> 01:55:33,092
and stop trying to hold on to it.
1173
01:55:33,260 --> 01:55:36,178
And then it flows
through me like rain
1174
01:55:37,347 --> 01:55:40,182
and I can't feel anything but gratitude
1175
01:55:40,350 --> 01:55:45,730
for every single moment
of my stupid little life.
1176
01:55:47,190 --> 01:55:49,859
You have no idea
what I'm talking about, I'm sure.
1177
01:55:51,361 --> 01:55:52,528
But don't worry.
1178
01:55:53,864 --> 01:55:55,740
You will someday.
84009
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