All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E21.Wallys.TV.Set.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, Here's Kris.

[music playing]

- What the heck you trying
to do, break my arm?

- Shh.

Raise your right hand
and repeat after me.

I solemnly swear not
to reveal any secret

I may here in this room.
- Wally.

- Come on, say it.

I solemnly swear not to--
- OK.

OK.
I do.

- Well, you say it,
but you don't mean it.

- OK, I solemnly
swear whatever it is.

Now, what's going on?

- Well-- nah, maybe I
better not tell you.

- OK.
- No, wait a second.

I got to tell somebody.

- Tell somebody what?

- Shh.

Are you ready?

I won a television set.

- Well, good for you.

Is that all?
- Is that all?

It's a great big console
model with a built in radio,

record player, the whole works.
- Oh, that's great.

Now, what's the big
secret all about?

- Are you kidding?

If the rest of the guys in
the house find out about it,

they're liable to
take it away from me.

- What do you mean
take it away from you?

- Well, there's an
ugly rumor going around

that I haven't paid my
dues in a month or two.

- Or six.

- OK, so I owe the
fraternity a little money.

Is that any reason
for him to take away

my brand new television set?

- Well, they haven't taken
it away yet, have they?

- That's only because they
haven't found out about it.

- Look, they wouldn't take
it away from you anyway.

- No, they'd find some
way to appropriate it.

Anyway, I'm not
taking any chances.

I'm not letting anybody
find out about it.

- Hey, you guys,
somebody just delivered

a great big television
set downstairs.

- Come on.
Will you get out of here?

We're discussing business.

Hey, wait.

Hey, get away from
that set, you vultures.

Get your hands off there.
Step back.

Step back.
- You Wally Plumstead?

- Yeah.

- Sign here, please.

- Hey, how come you're
delivering this now?

I told him to bring
it at midnight,

haul up the side of the house
and sneak it in my window.

- Hey, this beautiful, Wally.

- Yeah, where'd you get it?
- Is it really yours?

- Hey, get your grubby
hands off of there.

- Boy, what a grouch.

- Hey.

- It's his all right.

- Of course it's mine.
- Well, how'd you get it?

You couldn't have bought it.

- He could have used all the
money he owes the fraternity.

- He claims he won it.
- I did.

In the Mumbo Jumbo word contest.

- Yeah, I remember that.

That's the one you
borrowed my dictionary for.

- And my pen.
- And my envelope.

- And my stamp.

- And a box top
from my toothpaste.

- On behalf of all the
brothers gathered here,

I'd like to thank you
for presenting this

to the fraternity.

- Whoa now, wait a minute.

Put that down.
Leave that alone, you guys.

Come back here.

This is my personal property.

It does not belong
to the fraternity.

- Oh, come on now, Wally.

You want to share your good
fortune with us, don't you?

- Of course, he does.
He was just kidding.

Weren't you, Wally?
- Kidding?

- See?
I told you.

- Whenever I get any
fried chicken from home,

I always share it with
everybody, don't I?

- And when I won the
chess tournament,

I put the trophy
up on the mantel

so everybody could see it.
- Big deal.

Well, I'm not leaving my brand
new television set down here

for you guys to set drinks
on, spill ashes all over,

and carve your initials on.
- Oh, I'm surprised at that.

What makes you think we'd
do anything like that?

- Well, take a look
at the old set.

It used to have a cabinet.

- It used to have
a picture, too.

- Wait a minute.
Whose side are you on?

- Well, he does have a point.
- Hey, what's happened to him?

- He got married.
- Come on, you guys.

Quit kidding, will you?

This is the first time I've
ever owned anything like this.

I want a chance to
watch it and enjoy it.

I don't want it
wrecked overnight.

And who knows, I might get
married one of these days

and want to move it into our
little honeymoon cottage.

- Please, you're
breaking my heart.

- Come on, fellas, how about it?

- Well, after all, it
does belong to him.

- Yeah, I guess the only thing
to do is get it out of here.

- OK.
Come on, you guys.

Somebody give me a hand.
- Oh, that's more like it.

- Lead on, Wally.

- All right, this way, fellas.

Careful now.

Don't track it on the stairs.

Hey, hold on, you guys.

Come back here, you guys.

What's this?

- What do you think?

It's a television set.

- Oh, and be sure to wear
rubber-soled shoes when you

turn it on.

- Come on, you guys.

- I don't get it.

It's his television set.

He wants to put it in his
room, that's his privilege.

- Well, it's
obvious you've never

lived in a fraternity house.

- I hope not.

- Well, you know what I mean.

Everything's on a community
property basis over there.

- Well, yeah.

But it's still his set.

- Well, sure it is.

But he's made such a career
out of borrowing stuff

from everybody, they figure this
is a good chance to get even.

- Well, it still
sounds unfair to me.

- Now, wait a minute.
What are you doing?

I wanted to watch the news.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

There's a real good
movie just starting.

- Oh, Charles.

You're the kindest,
most understanding man

I've ever known.

But I just don't love you.

Somewhere, Ed's waiting for me.

- We've already seen this.

- No, we haven't.
- Well, sure we have.

They're a song and
dance team, and she

gets an offer from
a big producer

and becomes a big star.

And he starts hitting the
sauce and winds up on skid row.

- Don't tell me.

- So she decides to
marry the producer.

- She does not.

- You have seen it.
- OK, I've seen it.

But I want to see it again.

It's my favorite picture.

- OK, right after the news.

- And a low pressure area
coming in over the mountains.

Clear skies and light winds.

- Oh, that's pretty interesting.

- I don't mind if
we watch the movie.

I missed most of
the news anyway.

- Oh, no.

Let's watch the news.

After all, we know
how the movie ends,

but we're not sure what the low
pressure area is going to be.

- Let's hear it.

[doorbell]

I wonder who that is.

Oh, hi, Wally.

- Hi, Rick.

Hey, I'm not interrupting
dinner, am I?

- I'm afraid you're out of luck.
We just finished.

- Oh, too bad.

- We could get you
some dessert, though.

- Well, if it's not
too much trouble.

- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Kris.

- Which would you rather do, see
the news or have a piece of pie

and see a movie?
- Are you kidding?

You don't know me
very well if you have

to ask me a question like that.

- Just wanted make sure.

- Like he's ever turned down
anything to eat in his life,

and you know it.

- By the way, congratulations on
winning the new television set.

- Oh, thanks, I guess.

At least it was
great while I had it.

- What's the latest development?
- Oh, nothing.

It's still in the living room.

Every time I want
to watch something,

somebody's always got
something else turned on.

Seems to me if a guy
owns a television set,

he ought to be able to
watch what he wants.

- It would seem that
way, wouldn't it?

- That is unless the
guy's married, of course.

- What are you going
to do about the set?

- Well, that's what I
want to talk to you about.

I'd kind of like to
get it out of there.

- Where would you put it?

- Well, that's my problem.

I was wondering if I can bring
it over here and leave it

with you guys till I
figure out what to do.

Well, of course, a
great big television set

might be kind in the way.

- Oh, here, Wally.

Sit down.

- Have another piece of pie.

- Would you like me
to fix you a sandwich?

- Yeah, that'd be a good idea.
- Oh, thanks.

- OK, don't go away.

I'll be right back.

- Look, why don't we just
walk in the front door?

- Are you kidding?

Somebody's liable to
see us and get wise.

- Well, why don't we just
go in there and take it?

- Well, that's easy
for you to say.

You're not as easy
to beat up as I am.

- Hope they get tired of
washing it pretty soon,

it's getting late.

- In another minute, she'll
find them down on skid row

and talk him into
coming back to her.

Then they'll kiss and make up.
We'll be home free.

- Well, yeah, unless they decide
to watch the late late show.

Come on.

Let's just go in there and
see if we can get them out.

- Hey, just a second.

You know, this picture
isn't too bad after all.

- Wally.

Remember now, not a
word about the same.

- Don't worry.

- I don't deserve you, honey.

You're too good for me.

Too good for any man.

I promise I'll never touch
another drop as long as I live.

- Oh, Ed, darling.

Life just isn't worth
living without you.

We'll start up
the old act again.

It may be tough at
first, but we'll make it.

- Oh, honey, with you by
my side, how could I miss?

But just tell me one thing.

How did you ever find me?

- I saw your tap shoes
in the pawn shop window.

- Oh, honey, I'm glad.

So glad.

And we'll dance our way
right to the top again.

The big time.

Just you and I, baby.

Just you and I.

- Boy, how can you
guys watch that junk?

That was awful.

- I thought it was pretty good.

- What are you doing over
here this time of night?

Have a fight with Kris?

- I just came over to help
Wally with a couple of things.

- Hey, Lynn, could you
turn the set back on?

- Well, now just a second.

Don't you think you're
being pretty inconsiderate?

I mean, some of us have
a lot of studying to do.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

I was trying to
forget about that.

- I hate to say it, but
I'm afraid he's right.

- I guess I could use
a little study myself.

- I guess you could.

I mean, I guess we all could.

- Don't you have
some studying to do?

- All pledges have to
finish studying before we're

allowed to watch television.

- Oh.

- That's a stupid rule.

Boy, am I tired.

- Oh.

I'm really tired myself.

Didn't realize how late it was.

Very tired.

Very tired.

Getting very tired.

[mooing]

- I guess I'm getting
pretty tired myself.

I think I'll turn in.

- Goodnight, Rick.

- Goodnight, Lynn.

OK, Wally.

Wally.
- [snores]

- Shh.

Wally.

[music playing]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.

- Oh, gee, it's
beautiful, Wally.

- Oh, thanks.

- It's a little bigger than
I thought it was going to be,

though.

- Yeah, and a
little heavier, too.

- Where do you
want us to put it?

- Oh, let's see.

[music playing]

Well, how about over
here by the bookcase?

- OK.
- OK.

- Easy now.

Watch out for the lamp.

Oh, wait a minute.
That won't work.

- Why not?

We could you put the
table right here.

- Oh, no then it'd be too
close to the fireplace.

- Oh, yeah.
I don't want it to get burned.

- Well, where should we put it?

- How about that wall?

- What would we
do with the couch?

- Stand it up on its end.

- Look, why don't we try
it over against that wall?

Oh, that doesn't look
too good, does it?

- Well, maybe we ought to
put it in another room.

It doesn't make much sense to
have two sets in here anyway.

- Well, I thought we could move
the old set into another room.

Then we could watch different
shows if we wanted to.

- It's OK if we use
your set, isn't it?

I mean, we'll be careful.

- Oh, sure.

As long as you don't put
your cigar ashes on it.

- We won't

- Naturally, you can come over
and watch it any time you want.

- Oh, naturally.

- Well, maybe we should
move it in the bedroom.

- Oh, I don't know.

I'm liable to stretch out on
the bed and start snoring.

And I'd hate to
keep you guys awake.

- Yeah, that might not
be such a good idea.

- Hey, I think there's some
wall space in the kitchen.

- Now that's a great idea.

At least it'll be
near the source.

- What source?

- For the food supply,
the refrigerator.

- Come on.

Let's must move it in there.

[music playing]

How's that look?

- Oh, that looks fine.

Thanks a lot, Wally.

- Oh, that's OK.

Oh, just a second.

Yeah, that'll be fine.

[music playing]

- Hey, whatever you're cooking
in there, it sure smells good.

- Yeah, it sure does.

- I thought you
were in the kitchen.

- I thought you
were in the kitchen.

- Come and get it.

Ah, good morning.
- Good morning.

- What are you doing?
- And now--

- Shh.

- --your omelet should
be ready to fall.

Fill with green peppers,
tomato, and onions.

Got it?

- Got you.

- What's this?

- What's it look like?

- It looks like pancakes.
- No, no.

That was before.

This is a Spanish omelet.

- And now keep it warm
until you're ready to serve.

As a final touch, sprinkle on a
little ground red chili pepper.

Huh?

Very little.

Then serve with a
pancake granadas.

- Pancakes granadas?

- Don't laugh.

They're very tasty.

Adios, amigo.

It's a great program.

I never get a chance to
watch it at the fraternity.

- Would you mind explaining
what you're doing over here?

- Well, yeah.

You said you didn't mind if I
came over and watch television.

Oh, by the way, Kris.

You're out of milk,
eggs, butter, bacon,

and Tabasco sauce.
I made a little list over there.

Uh, Rick, would you mind
getting the rolls Barcelona out

of the oven, please?

- What are you going to do?

- Well, we're going to
sit down and eat it.

That's what we're going to do.

- That's right, get
it while it's hot.

- Hi, Jack.

- Hi, fellas.

- Is Wally around?

- Well, I don't seem
to see him anywhere.

- Well, I thought sure
he'd be here at lunchtime.

- Shall I tell him
you're looking for him?

- Yeah, would you, please?

Tell him we're looking for
him and his television set.

No, wait.
You better not.

It'd be more fun
to surprise him.

- Yeah, I agree with you.

- Oh, OK.

Coast is clear.
- Oh, thanks, Jack.

Boy, that was a close call.

- Yeah.

- Hey, where'd you get that?

- Oh, I just made it.

You got a lot of
stuff down here.

- I don't know if I'm on
the right side or not.

- Hi, Wally.

It's only me.

- Oh, hi, Rick.

- Hey, where'd you
get the hot dog?

- Shh.

- Oh, no, you don't.

- Well, it had too much
mustard on it anyway.

- What'll you have, Rick?

- I think I'll have
a chocolate malt.

- OK.
- Come on.

Let's sit down.

- I was thinking
of asking Ginger

if she wanted to go
to a movie tonight.

How about you and Kris?

- Oh, I think we'll just stay
home and watch television.

- Oh, good.
We can double date.

- Double date?

I thought you were
going to see a movie.

- Oh, yeah.

It's on television, 7 o'clock.

I mean, it's all right
with you, isn't it?

- Oh, well, sure.

The only thing is, we usually
eat dinner around seven.

- Well, you don't have
to worry about that.

I'll tell Ginger just for
the show and not for dinner.

Of course, we might bring
a couple of sandwiches.

- You don't have to do that.

- Oh, well, if you're
sure you have plenty.

- Well, yeah, I think we do.
- Oh, good.

I'll tell you what.
We'll bring the popcorn.

- OK.

- You do have plenty
of butter, don't you?

- I think so.

- Oh.

- Don't tell me,
there's nothing we do.

- What is it?
Oh, no.

No.
No.

Don't do that.

- Here, I'll get
some more popcorn.

- Oh, that's OK.

I'll get it.

- Well, I'll stop
by in a few minutes.

- Oh, hi, honey.

Would you like a sandwich?

- No thanks.
- What's the matter?

Aren't you having any fun?
- Sure.

But don't you think it's
about time we got going?

- Are you kidding?
It's early yet.

- Well, we've already
sat through two features.

Besides, I've got
some studying to do.

- Well, OK.
- Oh, you guys leaving?

- Oh, yeah.

Ginger's got some
studying to do.

- We'll see you tomorrow then.
- It sure was fun.

Thanks a lot for dinner, Kris.
- That's OK.

We're glad you could come.
- Yeah, it was great.

By the way, you're out of
liverwurst, horseradish,

and chopped olives.

- OK, I'll put them on the list.
- Well, good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Uh, say, don't
touch the dishes.

I'll be back in
about 15 minutes.

- You know he
probably will, too.

- Well, at least we have
a few minutes alone.

- You want to watch the news?
- News?

I want to watch the
end of the movie.

- Heads or tails?

- Heads.

I'll take the living room.

- Kris, I'm home.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hiya, folks.

- Hi, Wally.

- [whistles]

[music playing]

- I'm sure he
doesn't realize it,

but he's just getting
to be a little too much.

He's practically living with us.

- Yeah, and eating us
out of house and home.

- Well, you just have to tell
him it's not working out.

- Well, that's not
as easy as it sounds.

Especially since we encouraged
him to bring the set over

to our place.

- At first, I
thought it was going

to be fun having him drop
over every once in a while.

- Yeah, I must admit it sure
saves a lot of family arguments

to have two television sets.

- Yeah, but it's also nice
to have a little privacy.

- Uh-huh.

And some food left
in the refrigerator.

- Well, I must admit.

You stated the
problem very well.

Now, what's the solution?

- Well, we were counting on
you to come up with that.

- Well, as I say, I don't
think you have any choice.

One of you two
guys is just going

to have to tell him
politely but firmly

that it's just not working out.

- Well, he's your
fraternity brother.

Phone's right over there.

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

- Backstage, Follies burlesque.

- Hi, Bruce.
This is Rick.

Is Wally there?
- Oh, hi, Rick.

Yeah, he's here.

But he won't be for long.

Hey, Wally.

It's Rick.

- Oh, hi, Rick.

- Hi, what's going on there?

- Well, I this is hard
to believe after all I've

done for the
fraternity, but I guess

it's just another case of
man's inhumanity to man.

- What's the matter?

- These guys are kicking me
out of the fraternity house.

- What do you mean?
How can they do that?

- Do what?

- They're kicking
them out of the house.

What for?

- Oh, they've got me
on a technicality.

They claim I haven't paid my
house bill in three months.

And I haven't.

- You've been behind before and
they haven't kicked you out.

- I know.

But then I didn't have a nice
new television set they wanted.

- They can't do that.

- Well, they're
doing it and I'm not

going to have any place to stay.

So I guess it looks like the
park bench for your old pal.

- I'm not going to
let that happen.

You get your stuff together
and come over to our house

and stay.
- Oh, gee.

That's great, Rick.
Thanks a lot.

- Well, OK, I'll see you.

- You asked him to stay with us?

- Well, there's
nothing I could do.

- But I thought you were
going to get rid of him.

I thought that's the
reason you phoned.

- Well, I was, but they're
going to kick him out

of the fraternity house.

- Well, now wait a second.

We've got more
room than you have.

Why don't we invite
him to stay over here?

- What?

- Well, I-- I-- uh.

We'll think of something

[drum roll]

- Come on, you guys.

This isn't fair.

How could you guys
do this to me?

This is the only
home I've ever known.

- Come on.
Out.

Out.

[music playing]

- Hi there, boys.

- Hi, fellas.

- "I, Wally Plumstead,
agree that the fraternity

shall have full use of
my television console."

[applause]

- That's not fair.

- Now, wait a minute.

You haven't heard
the rest of it.

- "In return for which
the fraternity promises

to reinstate Mr. Plumstead,
with full privileges

and cancel all debts
due the house."

[grumbling]

- Yeah, we'll buy that.

- Yeah, we never would have
gotten the money anyway.

- I don't know.

It isn't very much.

- There's more.

"Furthermore, the
fraternity will

supply Mr. Plumstead
with his own personal key

to the fraternity refrigerator."

- Now you're talking.

Where's the pen?

[applause]

- Yeah, that worked
out pretty well.

- Yeah.

- I'm sure going to miss that
extra television set, though.

- Oh, don't worry about that.

We can buy one.

- What?

- With the money
we save on food.

[music playing]

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Hello, Mr. Mailman.

Thank you for the letter.

It's from my baby far away.

Wait, Mr. Mailman.

This couldn't be my letter.

Baby never writes this way.

She didn't say "I love you"
or "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just,
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note.

That's all she wrote.

Look, Mr. Mailman.

Look at the writing.

There could be no mistake.

I just didn't
think the hand that

wrote such sweet things would
make my poor heart break.

She didn't say "I love you"
or "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just,
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note.

That's all she wrote.

So please, Mr. Mailman,
take away the letter.

It's just a sad memory.

No, Mr. Mailman, the
sooner I forget her,

the better off I'll be.

She didn't say "I love you"
or "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just,
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note.

That's all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the dairy
farmer members of the American

Dairy Association.

- You never outgrow your
need for milk's vitality.

- Join us in a glass now.

[music playing]