All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E19.The.Deans.Birthday.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

- Get out of the way, will you?

We got a real emergency here!
- Yeah, listen, you guys.

The dean's coming.
- The dean's coming?

- No, no, not the alarm!
[alarm sounds]

Oh, no!
Wait a minute!

- The dean's coming!

[shouting and panicking]

Wait a minute, you guys!

I'm trying to tell you
it's a false alarm!

Just a second!

Hold it, girls!

Ah!

- Ow!

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

[upbeat music]

- Hello, Wally.

- Wait till I get my notebook.

Oh, hi, Rick.
- Hi, Wally.

- You're just the guy
we're looking for.

- What's going on?

- Oh, well, we're having a
meeting of the dance committee,

and we need you for a chaperone.

- You need me to
chaperone the meeting?

- [chuckle] No, the
party Saturday night.

We need you and
Kris to chaperone.

- I can't figure out if that's
a compliment or an insult.

Besides, I'm not sure whether
Kris wants to go or not.

- Oh, you don't have to show up.

We just have to
have somebody's name

to file with the dean's office.

- It's OK with me.

- OK, that takes care
of the chaperones.

- Who's going to take
care of the ice cream?

- It's all ordered.

All we have to do is pick
it up at the malt shop.

- What about the decorations?
- I ordered those yesterday.

- Well, I didn't know
there was a party lined up

for this weekend.

- Oh, that's what you get for
not reading the bulletin board.

- And you've already gotten
permission from the dean?

- Yeah, Wally did.

Didn't you, Wally?

- Uh, well, uh--

- Oh, for gosh sakes, that was
the only thing you had to do.

- What do you mean
the only thing?

I didn't hear anybody
else volunteering for it.

Besides, you know how
nervous I get when I have

to go near the dean's office.
- Well, what's the big deal?

It's just a formality.

All you have to
do is go up there

and fill out the application.

- Well, if there's nothing to
it, then why don't you do it?

- OK, I'm going right
by there, anyway.

- Oh, great.
You see?

I told you guys I'd
take care of it.

Oh, there's probably
one thing you ought

to know before you go up there.
- What's that?

- Well, we're only allowed
six parties a semester, right?

- Right.

- Well, this will
make number seven.

OK, meeting's adjourned.
Come on, fellas.

- Now, just a second.

You mean we've got a
party all lined up,

and we're not even
supposed to be having one?

- Well, the dean's a
very fair minded man.

He's been known to give
special permission to a house

with a high scholastic rating.

- Which has nothing
to do with us.

- Well, what have
we got to lose?

- Yeah, he can't do
anything more than say no.

- Besides, the arrangements
have all been made,

and the guys got
their dates lined up.

- I hate to rush you, but the
office closes in 15 minutes.

Come on, fellas.
Let's go.

- Now just a second, Wally.

Where do you think you're going?

- Down to the dean's
office with you, of course.

[chuckle]

- Can I help you?

Oh, hi, Mr. Plumstead.

- Oh, hi.

- Oh, you two know each other?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Plumstead's
been in to see us from time

to time on various matters.

- But never convicted.

- Is Dean Harris busy?

We'd like to talk
to him if he isn't.

- Well, I think he'll be
available in a few minutes.

Is there anything I
can help you with?

- Well, we'd like
to speak to him

about getting special permission
for a party at the fraternity.

- Well, I think that's a
little out of my jurisdiction.

- Is he in a good mood today?

- Yes, he seems to be.

You might wish him
a happy birthday.

His birthday's at
the end of the week.

- Oh, that's a good idea.
Thanks.

- Thanks a lot.
- Oh, that's OK.

I'd kind of like to see
you have your party.

- Thank you.

- Oh, good afternoon, gentlemen.
- Good afternoon.

- Dean Harris.

- Did you men want to see me?
- Yes, sir.

- Well, would you
step inside, please?

I'll be right with you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Did the afternoon
mail come in yet?

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Seems like he's
in a good mood.

I think we're in.
- Yeah.

- Well, what's on
your mind, gentlemen?

- Uh, well--

- Sit down, boys.

- Oh, thank you, sir.

Uh, Rick?

- Well, sir, I realize
the inner fraternity

council has recommended--

- Oh, no.

- Something wrong?

- $78?

All it was was a little
scratch on the fender.

It's not even covered
by my insurance.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Go ahead, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, well, sir, I was
referring to the ruling

allowing only six fraternity
parties each semester.

[buzzing]

- Pardon me.
Yes?

- Mrs. Harris is here.

- Oh, thank you.

Will you ask her
to come in, please?

It's Mrs. Harris.

This will just take a minute.

- Oh, would you like
us to wait outside?

- Oh, no.

No, that's OK.

Come on in, dear.

- Hi.

Hello, boys.
- Hello.

- Hello.
- This is my wife.

This is Mr. Plumstead
and Mr. Nelson.

- How do you do?
- Mr. Plumstead.

- Oh, are you Rick Nelson?

- Yes, ma'am.

- I believe your wife
is attending a shower

for my niece on Saturday night.

- Oh, yes, that's right.

She mentioned
something about it.

I just got a hat
for the wedding.

In fact, that's why I came by.

I wanted to see whether or
not you liked it, Jackson.

- Another hat?

I thought you had
plenty of hats.

- Ah, never mind.
Watch your blood pressure.

You might even like this one.

- Oh, gee, that's
beautiful, Mrs. Harris.

- Yeah, it's very nice.

- Well, thank you, boys.

What do you think of it, dear?

- Did you want my
honest opinion?

- That makes three to one.

The boys like it.
Don't you, boys?

- Oh, yes.
- Yes, ma'am.

Of course, I don't
know much about hats.

But you do know what you like,
and that's what's important.

Well, now, let's see.

I'll have to get a bag
and shoes to match.

- Yes, well, we can talk
about that at dinner.

- Will you be home early, dear?

- About the usual time.

- All right, I'll see you then.

Goodbye, boys.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Harris.

- Bye.

- Well, gentlemen, I've
got quite a busy schedule.

Now, what's on your mind?

- Oh, uh, Rick?

- Yes, sir.

As I was saying--

[buzzing]

- Yes?

- George Simpson and Bob
Tyler are on the phone.

- All right, put them on.
I'll talk to them.

Hello?

This is Dean Harris speaking.

The answer is no,
absolutely not.

I've told you men
a hundred times.

If you want to keep your
fraternity on campus,

you'll have to obey the rules
the same as everybody else.

No, I'm sorry there
can be no exceptions.

That's right.

Goodbye.

- OK, fellas,
what's on your mind?

- Oh, well, uh--
- [stammering]

- That's all right, Dean.

Some other time.

- No, no, no, as long as
you're here, what do you want?

- Oh, well, uh--

- Uh, what it was,
we just stopped by

to wish you a happy birthday.

- Yeah, happy
birthday, Dean Harris.

- Well, I appreciate
the thought,

but I just as leave
not be reminded.

Thank you.

I feel old enough as it is.

- Oh, well, I wouldn't
say that, sir.

I think you're the
youngest-looking old man

I've ever seen.

Oh, not that you're old--

uh--

- Wally.

Excuse us, sir.

- Goodbye.

- Hey, Rick.
- Oh, hi, Fred.

- Hi, Fred.
- What happened?

- What do you mean?

- How'd you make
out with the dean?

- It's kind of a
long, sad story.

- You mean he turned us down?

- Oh, he was in such a lousy
mood, we didn't even ask him.

- You didn't ask him?

- Believe me, it would
have been a waste of time.

- What are we going
to do about the party?

- There's nothing we can do.

It's off.

- Gee, what am I
going to tell Cynthia?

- Well, just tell her the truth.

The party is off and you'll
invite her to the next one.

How would you like
to have my problems?

I have to tell Ginger.

If I'm lucky, she'll
only break my arm.

- Well, I guess it looks
like we could go to the movie

Saturday night.

- What about the money we've
already spent for the party?

- Yeah, food,
decorations, ice cream.

- Of course, we
could have the party

off campus at somebody's
apartment, one of the married

fellas.

Does that give you
any ideas, Rick?

- It sure does.

I'm going to make sure our
apartment's locked Saturday

night.

- Come on, Rick.

- You guys know our
place is too small.

Besides, Kris has to go
to a shower that night.

- Well, Ginger,
wants to go dancing,

and I can't afford that.

- Well, go over to her house
and turn on the record player.

- We've done that for the
last three Saturday nights.

Her parents and the neighbors
are starting to complain.

- Why don't we just put
on a couple of records,

invite a few girls over, and
have a little get-together?

- That sounds
fine, but you can't

have dates in the
fraternity house

without the dean's permission.

- Well, then the
heck with the dean!

- Shh!

Don't you realize this
place might be bugged?

- I'm sorry.

It just kind of slipped out.

- Shh!

- Hey, you guys, I got an idea.

The party might be on after all.

- Oh, come on, Wally.

The party is off,
and you know it.

- Oh, not necessarily.

I've been giving this
thing a lot of thought.

First of all, let's approach
the situation logically

and rationally.

Question number one, why has
the party been called off?

- Because you were too
chicken to talk to the dean.

- Now, let's leave
personalities out of this.

The reason is because
we figure we've already

had our quota of
six parties, right?

- Go ahead.

- OK, that's where
we made our mistake.

- You know we've had six.

I can count them for you.
- I'll save you the trouble.

I assume you're counting the
dance following the homecoming

celebration?
- Well, naturally.

- OK, now let me ask
you guys a question.

Did you have a good
time at that party?

- Well, you know we
didn't, nobody did.

The orchestra didn't show up and
the caterer's truck broke down.

- And, besides, we lost
the game that afternoon.

- Right, that's just the
point I'm trying to make.

It wasn't a party.

The definition of a party is,
and I quote, "Party, noun.

Plural, parties.
Number one--"

- Will you get to the point?
- OK.

OK.

"Number five, a company
or association of persons

has for social enjoyment."

- Well, what about it?

- Well, we all agree that
nobody had a good time.

Therefore, it was not a party
in the literal sense, which

means we've actually
only had five parties

and, therefore, are
entitled to one more.

- Ugh.

- You must be kidding.
- Who's deal is it?

- Now wait a minute.

Do you guys want to have
this party or don't you?

- You know, it might work.

Why don't we go ahead
and give the party, then

when the Dean calls
us up on the carpet,

we just send Wally
over to explain it.

- It's almost worth it to see
him walk into the dean's office

with a dictionary.

- You guys think I'm
kidding, but I'm not.

This is a perfectly
legitimate and valid excuse.

- Oh, I don't know
how legitimate it is.

But I must admit, it
sounds pretty good.

- Yeah, I'd be willing
to take a chance.

- I think I would, too.
- What about the dean?

- Will you stop
worrying about that?

Believe me, we won't have
any trouble with the dean.

First of all, we all know he's a
very fair-minded and reasonable

man who's always
willing to listen

to a logical explanation.

Then, as an added precaution,
we pull down the drapes,

keep the music real low, park
our cars around the corner,

and sneak in through
the back door.

- [laughing]

- You looking for something?

- Yeah, I can't seem to
find my brown sport coat.

Have you seen it any place?

- Yeah, I sent it
to the cleaners.

- Oh, what'd you do that for?
I was going to wear it tonight.

- Well, why don't you
wear your blue sweater?

- What blue sweater?

- The pale blue sweater I
gave you for your birthday.

- Oh.

Oh, yeah.

- It's in the bottom
drawer of the dresser,

underneath your sweatshirts.

- Well, what's the idea
of hiding it under there?

- I didn't.
You did.

- Well, usually, I--

- This is why I get the
impression that's not exactly

your favorite sweater.

- What are you talking about?

It's beautiful.

It's just not the kind of
sweater you knock around in.

I've been saving it
for the right occasion.

- You mean like Halloween?

- No, of course not.

- Hi, anybody home?

- Hi, Rick.

I'll be right there.

Hi.

- Hi, Pop.
- How's Kris?

- Fine, thanks.

I just dropped her
off at a shower.

- Oh, good.
- Hi, dear.

- Hi, Mom.
- Who's the shower for?

- Betty Harris.
You know, Dean Harris's niece.

- Oh, yeah, when's
she getting married?

- Next month sometime.

- Well, look, if you're
not doing anything tonight,

your mother and I
are going to a show.

We'd be happy to
have you join us.

- Oh, that's OK, Pop.

We're having a little party
over at the fraternity tonight.

That's why I stopped by.

Do you have any extra
plates I could borrow, Mom?

- Yeah, sure.

- If you change your
mind, just come on along.

- Thanks, Pop.

- How many do you need?

- As many as you can spare.

- Hey, that's a nice
looking sweater.

- Oh, thank you.

Maybe your dad will
give it to you.

He doesn't seem to
like it very much.

- Well, of course I do.

- You've never worn it.

- Well, I'm going to wear
it tonight to the movies.

- Yeah, where it's nice and
dark and nobody will see you.

- You know, Rick, maybe you
oughtn't to go to that party

alone tonight.

How would you like to take
your old dad along with you?

- Oh, no, you don't.

Old dad and the
sweater are going

to the movies with old Mom.

[doorbell]

[knocking]

- Who is it?
- It's me, Rick.

- OK.

Come on in.

- What's the matter?
Are you sick?

- No, no, this is just a decoy.

If the dean comes
around, he'll think

we're all studying or asleep.
- Or nuts.

- Oh, hi, Rick.

Hey, take a look at this.

It's our dean line
early warning system.

This is a test, just testing.

Now listen to this.

[alarm blaring]

How do you like that?

- That's pretty good.
- The dean's coming!

The dean's coming!

- It's just a test!

- If you say so.

- Be careful with that.

You see, this way,
if the dean shows up,

we'll be ready for him.
Come on.

I'll show you.
I got this all organized.

Now, the minute
the alarm goes off,

everybody jumps into action.

Kent and Dick roll
the rug back down.

The rest of the guys move the
furniture back into place.

Lynn whips off the
paper tablecloth

and stuffs it into the
fireplace with the rest

of the decorations.

I hide the refreshments in the
piano, and the rest of the guys

get out their books
and start to study.

See how simple it is?
- Sounds great.

What about the girls?

- Well, the ones we can't
get through the back windows,

we'll hide in the basement.

[chuckle] What do you think?

- I think I'll go over and
join Kris at the shower.

It sounds safer.
- [chuckle]

- Wally, what do we do
with the sandwiches?

- You mean you got the
sandwiches made already?

- Sure, we got 10
guys working on them.

- Oh, well, just put them on
the table over there for now.

Come on, let's go
down to the malt shop

and pick up the ice cream.
- That's a good idea.

In fact, anything to get me
out of here is a good idea.

- Four gallons of
chocolate, two of vanilla,

two strawberry, and a
quart of chocolate sauce.

- Yeah, that sounds good.
- Just put it in a dish.

We'll eat it here.

- [laugh] I'll be
back in a minute.

- You know, we really are
taking an awful chance.

If the dean finds
out about this,

it's social probation for sure.

- Oh, will you stop
worrying, Rick?

How is he ever
going to find out?

- Oh, uh, Dean
Harris, good evening.

- Mind if I join you?
- No.

- Sit right down.
- Sit down.

- I feel I owe you
boys an apology.

- Oh, what for?

- I'm afraid I was a little
grouchy at the office

the other day.
- Oh, well, that's OK.

We understand.

- Oh, sure.

- I realize this
isn't a justification.

But a lot of little aggravation
seemed to be piling up.

Then to top it off,
one of the fraternities

tried to pull kind of a
fast one, so to speak.

[chuckle] I guess it was a
little too much for me to take.

- Oh, well, that's
the way it goes.

- Yeah.
- Here you are, fellas.

Have a good time.
- What's this?

- You're putting
me on or something?

It's the ice cream
for your party.

- Uh, what party?

- You guys.

- You boys having
a party tonight?

- Oh, yes, sir.

I guess you might call it that.

- At the fraternity house?

- Oh, in that general vicinity.

- Well, have a good time.

- Oh, thank you, sir.
Come on, Rick.

Let's go.
- Good night, sir.

- Good night.
- Boys.

- Yes, sir?

- You're forgetting
your ice cream.

- Oh!
[nervous laugh] Thank you.

- Fellas, um...

- Yes, sir?

- I don't seem to
remember your filing

an application for a party.

You did file one, didn't you?

- Uh, well, we usually do.

- Now that you
mention it, I guess

we didn't, not for this one.

- Well, you know
the regulations.

Why didn't you?

- Well, the truth is--

- The truth is we didn't
want you to know about it.

- I'm afraid I don't understand.

- Well, sir, I guess we might
as well tell you what happened.

- Yes, I wish you would.

- Well, this was supposed to
be sort of a surprise party...

For you!

- For me?

Oh, you mean-- you
mean for my birthday?

- [chuckle] Well, I guess
the cat's out of the bag.

- Sure is.

- Well, I don't
know what to say.

I'm sure sorry I
spoiled your surprise.

- Oh, well, that's OK, really.

I was afraid we weren't
going to get away with it.

- Well, anyway, we tried.

- How were you fellas
planning to get me over there?

- Well--

- That did present
quite a problem.

- Wait a minute.

I've got it.

You figured I'd
come in here, see

you buying lots of ice
cream for a party, then

when I checked and found
out that you hadn't gotten

permission for it, I'd go
storming over to your house,

burst in, and--

[chuckle] What a surprise.

- I guess there's no use
trying to put one over on you.

- No, sir.

- Well, what do you
think we ought to do?

Shall I go over with
you fellas right now?

- Well, don't you
think that might spoil

the surprise for the others?

- Why don't we go over
there first and make

sure everything's ready?

- OK.

Then I could drop by
in about half an hour.

[chuckle] How about
that wife of mine?

She told me she was going
to a shower tonight.

- Your wife?

- Come on, now
don't make believe

that she wasn't in on this.

- Oh!

[nervous laugh] We just
can't fool him at all.

- Why don't you make
it about 45 minutes.

- OK, fellas.
- We'll see you over there.

- See you later.

[music playing]

- Where are those guys, anyway?
- Come on.

Open up in there!

- Hurry up, you guys!

I still got to drive clear
across town and pick up Ginger.

Get out of the way, will you?

We got a real emergency!

- Yeah, listen, you
guys, the dean's coming.

- Dean's coming?

- No, no, not the alarm!

Oh, no!

Wait a minute!

- Dean's coming!

[shouting and panicking]

- I tried to tell you
it's a false alarm!

Just a second!

Hold it, girls!

- Ow!

- No, no, Kent, wait a second!

Hey, wait, everybody!
Stop!

It was a false alarm!

- What do you mean false alarm?

- Well, the dean's
coming, but he thinks

it's a surprise party for him.

- A surprise party?

- He caught us
buying the ice cream,

and it was the only
thing we could think of.

Besides, it's his birthday,
so it'll work out perfectly

if we just don't panic.

- OK, what do we do?

- Well, first of all, we've got
to get this room back in shape.

Then we need a birthday
cake and a present,

then we've got to
get the dean's wife.

And we better get a
couple of chaperones.

And where the heck is Wally?

Wally?

- Help!

Help!

Help!

- Cleopatra.

- Hey, I found a
brand new shirt!

It'll make a perfect
birthday present.

- Oh, great.
Bring it in here.

We'll wrap it.
I hope it's his size.

- Who cares?

- Hey, wait a minute, Wally.

That's my shirt.

I'm late enough as it is.

- Hey!

- What now?

Oh, no you don't.

- Here's some more.

- Oh, good.

- What are you guys doing?
- We're making a cake.

What do you think we're doing?
- Out of cupcakes?

- Sure, we're going to stick
'em together and pour some goop

over 'em.

- Don't you think it'd
taste better if you

took the paper off first?

- Well, hi, Rick.

- Hi, Rick.

You going to the show with us?

- No, Pop, this is an emergency.

We need you over at the
fraternity right away.

- What for?
- For chaperones.

- Chaperones?

- Well, I'll explain
it on the way over.

Could you hurry up, please?

- Oh, well, I'll have
to change my clothes.

- Oh, no, that's OK, Mom.
There isn't time.

Besides, it's very informal.

Oh, OK.

- Hey, I just found a
brand new pair of shoes.

You think they'll fit the dean?
- Yeah, they look great.

- Come on, Wally.

Will you stop
stealing my things?

I'm trying to get dressed.

- We gotta find a present.
- Hey, Rick's coming.

- Oh, good.

Hurry it up there, girls.

- What's he want?

I've never ironed a
paper tablecloth before.

- Hi, Dick.
- Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson.

Boy, you sure are
saving our lives.

- Oh, that's OK.
I just hope it works.

- Everything all set?

- Yeah, except for
a birthday present.

I guess we're just
out of luck there.

- No, you're not.

I've got a wonderful idea.
- What are you doing?

- Hold still.

- You can't give this to the
dean, it's my favorite sweater.

- You better keep quiet or
I'll give it back to you.

- Just when I was
beginning to like it, too.

Here you are.

Put it in a box and
tie a ribbon on it.

- Oh, gee, thanks, Mrs. Nelson.
- There's a card up on my desk.

- OK.
- Come on in, Mrs. Harris.

- Oh, hi, Mrs. Harris.
- Hi.

- This is my mother and father.
- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Gee, I hope you didn't mind
the boys dragging you out

of the shower.

- Oh, not at all.

- Shower?

- The bridal shower.

- Oh.

- OK, fellas, here he comes.

- Yeah, you guys,
the dean's coming.

- The dean?

- No, no, it's OK.

- Turn off the lights in there.

[crashing, shattering]

Oh, good evening, Dean Harris.

- Good evening.

I saw quite a few
cars parked outside,

and I thought I'd stop by
and see what was going on.

- Oh, yes, sir.

Won't you come in?

- Thank you.

Why don't you step into
the living room there?

- Thank you.

- Surprise!

[SINGING] Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, Dean Harris.

Happy birthday to you.

[clapping]

[music playing]

- Sure was thoughtful
of these boys

to give this wonderful
party for me.

They're pretty nice guys.

- I think you're
a pretty nice guy

to make believe you
weren't wise to them.

- Ah, come on, Betty.

Stop taking all the
fun out of life.

They're fine boys,
and you know it.

- Well, of course they are.

- What about that
sweater they gave me?

- Don't worry about that, dear.

I'll take it down and
exchange it on Monday.

[RICKY NELSON, "THAT'S ALL SHE
WROTE"]

- [SINGING] Hello, Mr. Mailman,
thank you for the letter.

It's from my baby far away.

But wait, Mr. Mailman,
this couldn't be my letter.

Baby never writes this way.

She didn't say "I love you"
or are "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note, that's
all she wrote.

But look, Mr. Mailman,
look at the writing.

There could be no mistake.

I just didn't
think the hand that

wrote such sweet things would
make my poor heart break.

She didn't say "I love you"
or "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note, that's
all she wrote.

So please, Mr. Mailman,
take away the letter.

It's just a sad memory.

You know, Mr. Mailman,
the sooner I forget her,

the better off I'll be.

She didn't say "I love you"
or "I'm thinking of you."

She didn't say "sincerely"
or "I miss you dearly."

At the end was just
"goodbye, my friend."

Just a note, that's
all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

[cheering]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the Dairy
Farmer members of the American

Dairy Association.

- You never outgrow your
need for milk's vitality.

- Join us in a glass now.

[music playing]

- When you make out your
giving list for health,

remember to put
first things first.

Since heart disease is the first
cause of death in our nation,

make it number one.

And right next to it put
Heart Fund, your number one

defense against heart disease.

Through the years, over $40
million Heart Fund dollars

have gone into medical research
to combat heart disease.

Add your dollars to the
ever expanding program

of research, education,
and community service

that will eventually conquer
this number one enemy.

Give to your local
Heart Association

or to "Heart," care
of your post office.