All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E17.Wedding.Picture.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's Kris.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you
by your gas company,

with pipeline companies and
gas appliance and equipment

manufacturers who help
you and your family

live modern for less with gas.

- That's what we
do at our house.

- Now, uh, here's
a tender moment.

I just repeated the words,
"With this ring, I thee wed,"

and we couldn't find the ring.

- Oh, Rick, come here a minute.

I'd like to show you this.

You see this picture?

- Yeah.

- Now look at this one.

Those pictures were
taken 10 minutes apart,

and your father still has
the same frozen expression

on his face.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

I'll have you know
that's supposed

to be my big personality smile.

- He sure looks lively
enough in this one.

- Oh, yeah.
I'll never forget that.

Uh, I was yelling
goodbye to everybody,

and I got a mouthful of rice.

Come to think of it, that
was the last good meal

I got for about a year.

- Watch it, bud.

- Well, you sure have
some great pictures.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

I wish we could have
gotten some more.

We don't have a complete
set like you guys.

- We don't have a
full set either.

- Well, sure you do.

Yours are just beautiful.

- She still give me
a bad time about that

one picture we missed.
- What was that?

- Oh, I thought
you knew about it.

I don't know how it happened,
but nobody got a picture

of us cutting the cake.

- Isn't that ridiculous?

Whenever we show our
wedding pictures,

somebody always says, "Where's
the picture of you and Rick

cutting the cake?"

- And then somebody's
usually you.

- Wait a second.

I'll get my camera.

At least then we'll have a
picture of your first fight.

- What makes you think
this is our first?

- She's not kidding.

She doesn't look
strong, but she's

got a tremendous left hook.

- Well, you just have to
learn to roll with the punch.

- It really is a shame you
didn't get a picture of you

guys cutting the cake.

- That's what I
keep telling him.

- Well, maybe you ought to
have the wedding over again.

- That's not a bad idea.

Maybe I wouldn't drop
the ring this time.

- Well, I hate to break this
up, but I really think we better

be getting on home.

- Yeah, I have some
studying to do.

- Now, see, I told you, if
we got out the old photograph

album, they'd leave.

- We'll get even with
you next time you

come over to our house.

We'll make you look at our
wedding pictures again.

- Including the one
that wasn't taken.

- Oh, don't bother those, Kris.

- That's OK.

I've got 'em.

- You know, she wasn't
kidding about that picture.

- Well, how come nobody took it?

- Well, I really don't remember,
but I know it was my fault.

At least I've been taking the
blame for it all this time.

- Hey, I just
thought of something.

It might be kind of
funny if you were

able to get the
picture after all.

- You mean go through the
whole wedding reception again?

- Well, no, just the part
where you're cutting the cake.

I mean, you could just stage it.
- Stage it?

What do you mean?

- Well, uh, Kris still has her
wedding dress, doesn't she?

- Yeah.

- And I know you've
got the decoration that

goes on top of the cake.
- Well, yeah.

What about it?

- Well why don't you
just get dressed up

and pose for the picture?

Uh, I'll admit,
it's a little late,

but at least then
you'd have one.

- Hey, you know what'd
really be funny?

If I did it without Kris
even knowing about it.

- Well, how is that possible?

- Well, I could have
somebody take her place

and have the picture
taken from an angle

so you can't see her face.

- Hey, yeah.

And then when you
got the picture,

you could slip it in the
album without her knowing it

and make believe it has
been there all the time.

- That's pretty sneaky,
but it's also pretty funny.

- Uh, you could tell
her about it later on.

- Well, thanks again.

It sure was a nice dinner.
- Yeah, it sure was.

- Well, thank you.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

We certainly enjoyed having you.

- Well, uh, let me know
how everything develops.

- OK, Pop.

- Well, what was that all about?

- Well, that was just
something between Rick and me.

- Well, goodnight.
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, dear.

Goodnight, Rick.

OK, what's the big secret?

- What are you talking about?

- You know what
I'm talking about.

You and Rick are
up to something.

Now, what is it?

- What do you mean,
up to something?

- I'll tell you, but
you got to promise

not to say anything to Kris.

- OK, what is it?

- No.

I-- I don't think I
ought to tell you.

- Why not?

- Well, as I say, it's a little
secret between Rick and me.

There are times when men
have to stick together

in this battle of the sexes.

So don't ask me any more.

Well, I really don't
think I should tell you.

Although it is kind of funny.

Can you keep a secret?

- Sure.

- Well, see, uh, Rick is
going to have somebody else

put on Kris's wedding gown and
have a picture taken of them

cutting the cake and
slip it into the album

without Kris knowing it.

- Hey, that's a great idea.

- Yeah, I think it
oughtta work pretty good.

- Where are you gonna set it up?

- Well, I don't know.

At the fraternity, I guess.

- Hey, there's an awning down in
the basement just like the one

you had at your reception.

- Yeah, we could use
that for the background.

- Who are you going to
get to take the picture?

- Well, I don't know.
Do you want to do it?

- No, no.
Not me What about Dick Tyler?

He's on the school paper.
I'm sure he'll do it.

- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.

I know he will.

He owes me a favor.

Well, he doesn't
exactly owe me a favor.

I owe him money.

He'll do anything
to keep me happy.

- Now, what about
the wedding cake?

We'll need one of those.

- Well, Charlie's getting
married next month.

Maybe we could get him to
order his cake a little early.

- I doubt it.

- I wouldn't worry about it.

If we have to, we'll
bake one ourselves.

- Uh, yeah.

Well, maybe we can
find one someplace.

- Who are you going
to use for the bride?

- Well, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

- Me?

In Kris's wedding dress?

- No, I don't think you're
quite the right shape for it.

I was thinking about Ginger.

- Ginger?
Oh, no.

It's too dangerous.

You put her in a
wedding dress, she's

liable to get all
sorts of ideas.

- Relax, will you?

We'll explain it to her.

- Well, you're sure this is just
a picture of cutting the cake?

I mean, you're not going to be
kissing the bride or anything.

- Look, I'm not
going to marry her.

I just want her to be my
wife for a couple of hours.

- Well, if it's OK with
Ginger, it's OK with me.

- Ginger?
Ginger?

Come on, Rick.
- Oh, hi.

- Hi, honey.

Hey, how would you
like to be a bride?

- OK.

I'm supposed to say,
"This is so sudden,"

and then you get the punchline.

Oh, honey!

This is so sudden!

- Not me, Rick.

- Oh, well that's even better.

Oh, hon--

- Uh, let me explain.

It's a surprise for Kris.

- Well, I can imagine.

- You see, we want
to take a picture.

It'll be of Rick and a wedding
cake and the back of your head.

- Well, thanks a lot.
I can hardly wait.

- Yeah, just a second.
I didn't explain that very well.

- Sure you did, sweetie.

You explained it beautifully.
- Oh.

Oh.

Ohhh-ho-ho-ho.

Ginger.

Ohh-ho-ho-ho.

- Kris?

Kris?

OK.

You get the cake decoration.
It's in the hall closet.

- OK.

- And the album's around the
corner in the top drawer.

- All right.
- I'll get the wedding dress.

- OK.
Fine.

- Not the refrigerator.

- Hey, Rick, I can't
find the ornament.

Where is it?

- It's in a little
box up on the shelf.

- Hey, this is the vase I gave
you for a wedding present.

- Oh, come on.
Let's go.

- Well, what's it
doing up there?

- Well, I don't know.

We're probably saving it for a
special occasion or something.

Come on.

Get the ornament.

- Is this it?

- That's it.

Let's go.

Where's the album?

- Oh, yeah.

- Come on.

Hurry up.

Oh, great.
Here she comes.

- Kris?
- Well, who else?

Get in the closet.

Wally.

- I'll go out the front way.

- Wally?

- Oh.

Hi, Kris.
- Hi.

Is, uh, Rick home?

- Uh, uh, yeah, he's
around somewhere.

- Rick, I'm home.

- Uh, Kris?

I'll do that.

- Well, what's going
on here, anyway?

- Hi.

- What are you doing in there?

- Well, I was just
looking for a suitcase.

Wally wanted to borrow one.

You know, for his
clothes and stuff.

- Oh, yeah.

Say, that'll be just fine.

Uh, thanks a lot.

Oh, uh, here.

I'll see you later.

- I better help him carry that.

See you later.

- Hey, pretty sharp!

- Oh, thanks.
Hey, come on, will you?

You're going to
brush away the suit.

- Well, I don't want
it to get dirty.

I've got to wear to a
wedding tonight, a real one.

- What do you think, Rick?

- Yeah, I guess
that's about the way

it looked, as far
as I can remember.

- Well, it checks with what
we can see in the pictures.

- Hey, don't sit down!

You'll wrinkle the pants.
- Come on, will ya?

That's ridiculous.

- Gangway for the
wedding cake, you guys.

- Hey, that looks great.
- Oh, thanks.

It's light as a feather,
if I do say so myself.

Here, catch.

It's made out of cardboard.
Be careful with it.

I just rented it for the day.

- Well, where's the bride?

- Oh, she's waiting outside.

She didn't want to see the
groom till the wedding.

It's bad luck.

I'll go get her.

- Dick, are you all set?

- Yeah, I think so.

- The sooner we get
started, the better.

I've got a wedding to
cover this afternoon.

- Hey, fellas?

Here she comes.

Gee, honey, you
look just beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Do you take this man to be
your lawful wedded husband?

- I do.
- Now, wait a second.

- And you take this woman to
be your lawful wedded wife?

- Come on.
Cut it out, will ya?

- I thought you said you
wanted to marry me some day.

- I do.
- He said, "I do."

- I now pronounce you
man and wife. $2, please.

- Wait a minute.
This is a frame-up.

- Come on, you guys.

Dick has to get out of here.

- Ginger, why don't
you stand right here,

and I'll stand in back here.

- OK.

Nice smile, now.

- No, no.
Wait a second.

Hold it, Dick.

Honey, we don't want
to see your face.

- I know, I know.
- All right.

All right.

You know what I mean.

Let's try another one, Dick.

- OK, Rick.

Let's have a nice big smile.

And Ginger, let's have a
nice big back of your head.

OK.

I think we got it.

- Well, I guess
that about does it.

Thanks a lot, you guys.
I sure appreciate it.

Thanks, Dick.
- OK.

- Hey, wait a minute.

That's not all.

- Hey.

- Hey, Rick.
Hi.

I got the pictures.
- Oh, great.

How'd it turn out?
- Perfect.

Look at this.
- We can't use this.

You can see Ginger's face.
- Oh, sorry.

I got the wrong picture.
- Hi, fellas.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

- Hey, who's the
bride and groom?

- Uh, Rick and Ginger.

- I thought you were
married to Kris.

- Oh, he is.

Ginger was just
doing him a favor.

- Yeah, haven't you
ever heard of a harem?

- OK, you guys.

- Come on.

Let's see the other pictures.

- How do you like it?

- Hey, that's great.

- It did turn out
pretty good, didn't it?

- Yeah, now all I have to do
is take it home and slip it

in the album.
- Oh, boy.

I'd love to see Kris's face
when she gets a look at it.

- Well, come on along.
- OK.

Yeah, but no fair
pushing me in the closet.

- Kris?

Kris?

I'm home.

OK.

- Boy, she's never home.

- You have the picture?
- Uh, yeah.

Right here.
- Is that you, Rick?

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

Did I hear you
talking to somebody?

- Oh, yeah.

Wally.

- Well, where is he?

- Well, he just stepped into
the closet for a minute.

- Hi, Kris.

- Well, hi yourself.

Well, what are you two
guys up to, anyway?

- What do you mean?

- Uh, well, we might
as well tell her.

I've got a mild case
of closet phobia.

- Come on, Wally.

I'll show you that
book you wanted to see.

- Oh, yeah.

- Well, don't let
us disturb you.

Go right ahead with
what you were doing.

- OK.

- Nice to see ya.

- Oh, thanks.

- You think she
suspects anything?

- Yeah, I think she suspects
that we're a couple of nuts.

Come on, let's get the album.

Where is it?

- Well, don't ask me.

Is this where you put it
when you brought it back?

- Yeah.
This is where we always keep it.

- Are you sure you
brought it back?

- Well, yeah.

Of course I did.

At least I think I did.

- You think you did?

- Let's see.

I remember putting the dress
back and the cake decoration,

and I thought I put the
album right in here.

- Well, it's not here now.

Maybe you put it in the closet
with the cake decoration.

Oh, no.

This time, it's your turn.

- It's not in here.

Wonder where it is?

- Maybe you left it
at the fraternity.

- No, I don't think so.

- Well, there's one
way to find out.

Come on.

- Rick?

Wally?

Rick?

- Hey, have you guys
seen my wedding pictures?

- Yeah, about six times.

- Me, too.

- No, I mean I think I
left the album over here.

Have you seen it?
- Well, let's see now.

Which wedding?

The one with Ginger or the
one with that other wife?

- You guys are a big help.

- The last time I saw it, it
was right here on this table.

- Hey, watch it!

I'm pressing my
pants under there.

- Come on, guys.

I was holding it
the other day when

we were taking the pictures.

- Well, I thought you
took it home with you.

- Well, so did I,
but it's not there,

so it's got to be
here someplace.

- Well, I wouldn't
worry about it.

You can always
get married again.

Then we'll have a whole
new set of pictures.

- Hey, how about that?

Rick's going to
get married again.

- But what does that
make him, a trigamist?

- Well, how about giving
my wife's sister a chance?

They've been trying to get her
married off for about 10 years.

- I'm wasting my time.

- Gin.

- This turned out to be
a great practical joke.

All I've done is lost
my wedding pictures.

- Well, not quite.

You still have this one and this
one of you and the wedding cake

and the back of Ginger's head.

- And even the cake was a phony.
- No, no.

What you should have said
was even the cake was a fake.

Da da-da, da da-da, da da-da,
and even the cake was a fake.

Da da-da, da da-da, da da-da,
and even the cake was a fake.

- I feel sick enough as it is.

You haven't seen an album
of wedding pictures,

have you, Jack?
- No, I haven't, Rick.

You sure you left it here?

- I'm not sure where I left it.

All I know is I can't find it.

- Well, look at it this way.
It's not the end of the world.

After you've been married
as long as I have,

you'll be glad you lost it.

Every time my wife looks
at our wedding pictures,

she says, "Who's that skinny
guy with all the hair?"

- Just trying to figure
out what I'm going

to tell Kris when I go home.
- Well, just play it straight.

Just go in and
say, "Kris, honey,

I've lost our wedding pictures."

- Well, yeah, and
then what do I say?

- Nothing.

From then on, she'll
do all the talking.

- Great.

- Hey, maybe Ginger
knows where it is.

- She was looking at the
pictures, wasn't she?

- Why don't I give her a call?

Oh, say, as long as I'm
calling her on your behalf,

so to speak, uh--

Oh, thanks.

And don't forget,
that's my hamburger.

[harp playing]

- Morning, deary.

- [coughs] Good morning.

- Your tie isn't straight.

And your lapels are getting
a little threadbare.

- I've been wearing
this suit for 75 years.

- I know, but it
gives me something

to remember our wedding by.

You lost the pictures, you know.

- Yes, yes.

I know.

I've been hearing
that for 75 years.

And I'm getting sick
and tired of it.

- Oh, stop fussing and be still.

- Couldn't we just have bacon
and eggs once in a while?

- Never mind.

You remember your promise.

- Let's see.

365 times 75.

Don't you think we have
enough pictures of this?

- Rick.

Uh, Rick?

- Oh, yeah?

- Ginger says she's sorry, but
she has no idea where it is.

- Oh, that's OK.

I'll tell you this much.

I'm not going to
wear a wedding suit

and eat cake for breakfast
for the next 75 years.

Something the matter?

- Oh, no.

- Oh, here comes Rick.

- Oh, hi, Pop.
- Hi, Rick.

- Hi, dear.
- This is a pleasant surprise.

- Thank you.

- Aren't you going
to stay for dinner?

- Oh, no, thanks.

We just stopped by
for a few minutes.

- We'll see you again
in a couple of days.

- Uh, aren't you
forgetting something?

- Well, like what?

- Well, like, don't you remember
the other night at your house?

You promised you'd come over and
look at our wedding pictures.

- Oh, uh, we did?

- Oh, well, they can see
them some other time.

- Yeah.

We'll see them the next
time we come over here.

- I'd like to see
them again now.

- I'd like to see
them again myself.

Why don't you get the album?

- Well, you mean
the wedding album?

- Well, yeah.

- With the pictures of the
wedding and the reception?

- Well, yeah.
Never mind.

I'll get it.
- No.

Wait a second.

Look, I might as well tell you.

It's not there.

- Well, what do you
mean it's not there?

How do you know?

- Well, because I lost it.

I lost the album with the
wedding pictures in it.

- Oh, really?

- Well, yeah.

You know how you always wanted a
picture of us cutting the cake?

- Yeah.

- Well, I wanted to play
a little joke on you,

so I stopped by the fraternity
and took this phony picture.

- Uh, let me see that.

Hey.

Turned out great.
- Yeah.

Very nice.

- Uh, let me see it again.

Yeah.

It's not bad.

At least it's pretty
good of the cake.

- You seem pretty
casual about this.

Didn't you hear what I said?

I said I lost all
our wedding pictures.

I can't find the album.

- Well, it's right in here.

- Wait a second.

That wasn't there
this afternoon.

I know it wasn't.

You're not the only one
that wanted to borrow it.

And if you don't
mind my saying so,

I think I like my picture
better than yours.

- Your picture?

- Well, yeah.

- Well, that's the
same picture I took.

- Not exactly.

This one has my face showing.

- Who's the guy?

- Who's the girl?

- Elizabeth Taylor.

- Richard Burton.

- Well, it's Ginger.

You know, Wally's girlfriend?

- Your brother Dave.

Mom talked him
into posing for us.

- Well, now, wait a second.

You mean to say you gave Kris
the idea after you promised me

you wouldn't tell her about it?

- Well, yeah.

Remember how you said you
men had to stick together

in the battle of the sexes?

- Yeah?

- Well, we girls have
to stick together too.

Besides, I had my
fingers crossed.

- Can't win.

- Well, at least
now you kids don't

have to argue about not
having a picture of you

cutting the wedding cake.
- Yeah.

Now we can just argue about
which one to put in the album.

- Oh, well, that
problem's easily solved.

Do you have a pair of scissors?
- Well, yeah.

Right over here.

- Let me have the pictures.

You got some Scotch tape there?

- Uh-huh.

- Thank you.

Now, this is Kris's picture.

This is Rick's.

- Hey, what are you doing?

- There.

Now, take the Scotch tape.

Here we have it.

The traditional picture
of Rick and Kris

cutting the wedding cake.

Uh, would you move in for
a close-up on this, please?

The other camera?

- I hate to brag, but we've got
some awfully good basketball

players in our family.

They never miss.

That is, almost never.

Well, of course, everybody
misses once in a while.

Oh, well.

If at first you don't succeed.

Let's see.

Looks like everything's
here, including milk.

And when the athletes come
in to get something to eat,

you can bet they'll
want plenty of milk.

Seems like only yesterday,
they were just two little guys.

Even then, they were
full of vitality.

Woop!

I'll say this for old dad.

He's had a rough time, but
he's always done his best

to keep up with the boys.

And believe me, that
takes a lot of vitality.

In fact, all us
Nelsons have always

had plenty of the vitality
that keeps us enjoying life.

And for that, we can thank the
pitcher of milk that's always

been on the Nelson table because
the way this group burns up

energy, milk's the one
drink that gives us

the lasting vitality we need.

- Hi.

You know, sometimes the things
that happen accidentally

turn out to be funnier than
the things that are planned.

We thought you might like to
look behind the scenes with us

and watch a bit of unrehearsed
and completely accidental humor

that occurred during the
filming of tonight's show.

First of all, to
refresh your memory,

here is scene 10-C just as you
saw it in the picture tonight.

- Wally.

- Come on.

Get up, will ya?

I'll go out the front way.

- Now, that was take 4.

And now watch the
same scene, take 3,

and keep your eye on Wally.

- 3.

- Action.
- Come on, Wally.

Get in the closet.

Here.

- Oh, come on, will ya?

Oh!

["for you" playing]

- [SINGING] I will gather
stars out of the blue for you.

Yes, baby, for you.

I'll make a string of pearls
out of the dew for you.

Yes, baby, for you.

Over the highway and over the
street, carpets of clover I'll

lay at your feet.

Oh, well there's nothing in this
world I wouldn't do for you.

Yes, baby, for you.

Over the highway and over the
street, carpets of clover I'll

lay at your feet.

Oh, well there's nothing in this
world I wouldn't do for you.

Yes, baby, for you.

I wouldn't do.

Yes, baby, for you.

Oh, I wouldn't do.

Yes, baby, for you.

[cheering]

[jazzy music]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company--

- Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

- That's what we Nelsons do.

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