All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E12.Ozzies.Hidden.Trophy.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Oh, gee, I don't
know, Harriet.

- Oh, come on.

Cheer up, it won't be
as bad as all that.

- Well, I know, but it's
kind of embarrassing

going from door to door,
collecting old clothes

and junk.

- Well, it's for a worthy cause.
- I know that.

- Everybody knows about it.

We have this drive every year.

- Well, yeah.

It's the Women's Club drive.

Why don't the women
do the driving?

Why do you rope the
husbands in on this?

- 'Cause you volunteered for it.

- I volunteered?

When was this?

- Last night at the meeting,
when you weren't there.

- That's about it.

I'm probably the only guy who's
going to be out doing anything.

- Oh, that's where you're wrong.

All the husbands who
weren't there volunteered.

Besides, I don't know what
the big deal is all about.

Joe will be going with you.

- Oh, are you kidding?

You know darn well Joe will find
some way to get out of this.

He'll break a leg
or sprain an ankle

or at least come
down with a bad cold.

- Come on, you phony baloney.

You haven't got a
cold, and you know it.

- How can you say that?

Stand back.

[beginning of fake sneeze]

- Oh, cut it out, you faker.

Hi, Harriet.

Hi, Ozzie.

- Suppose I was sneezing because
I really did have a cold?

Then what would you say?

- Gesundheit.

- That's what I figured.

- I take it you've been meeting
up with little resistance, too.

- A little?

He's had a sprained
ankle, a broken arm,

and a fainting spell all the way
from our house to your house.

- Well, I suppose
you can't blame him

for trying to get out of it.

- Well, Joe, what do you say?

- Unless you can come up
with a sudden inspiration,

looks like we're going to
be collecting junk today.

- Don't say junk.

You're supposed to collect
things we can sell.

That's the idea of
the whole thing.

- OK, OK.

- No use fighting it.

- Come on, Clara, we
better get a move on.

- Hey, wait a second.
Where are you going?

- Down to the Women's
Club to get ready for all

that stuff you guys
are going to collect.

- You could probably take
care of that in five minutes.

- Oh, come on, Joe.

Where is your fighting spirit?

Do you want to be
the only husband that

doesn't collect anything?

- I think I could
live with that, yes.

- Go on, Clara.

They're just putting us on.

We'll see you guys later.

- About 2 o'clock.

And don't be late.

- Come on, Oz, get
your bowling ball.

- Bowling ball?
What for?

- What for?

We're going bowling.

- We can't go bowling.

We've got to go out and collect
that stuff for the girls.

- Are you kidding?

Come on, get your bowling ball.
- No.

I don't think so.

It's a temptation,
but when I think

of that whole week Harriet
wouldn't be speaking to me,

it's just not worth it.

- You mean Harriet doesn't talk
to you when she's mad at you?

- Well, that's right.

- Oh, boy.

How lucky can you get?

- Lookit, you know as well as I
do, we can't go bowling today.

We promised to help the wives,
and we're stuck with it.

- Well, OK.

- Look, this wasn't
my idea, you know.

- Well, at least I
figure a guy should be

entitled to struggle a little.

- Well, we struggled.

Let's get started.

I think we got some
junk out in our garage.

- Oh, we got a lot of
junk in our garage,

but I don't feel like walking
all the way over there.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson, Mr. Randolph.

- Oh, hi boys.

- Hi.

- What are you guys up
to this fine morning?

- We're looking for a job.

- Yeah, we need some money.

- That sounds like a
familiar complaint.

- Yeah.

- You need anybody to
cut the grass for ya?

- Oh, no, thanks.

We had it cut yesterday morning.

- How about washing your car?

- Or tuning up your engine?

- No.

Uh, thanks a lot, but
I don't think so, boys.

- What about you, Mr. Randolph?

- Now that you mention
it, fellas, I just

possibly might
have a job for you.

- No kidding?

How much does it pay?

- $2 a piece.

- $2?

- Two whole dollars?

- That's right.

- Do we have to do
something illegal?

- 'Course not.

This is a perfectly
legitimate business deal.

- Oh, uh, now I get it.

You think we can
get away with it?

- Why not?

- I thought you said
it was legitimate.

- Oh, uh, well, it
is legitimate as far

as you fellas are concerned.

Of course, as far as Mr.
Randolph and I, well,

I guess it's OK.

- Right.

Now, listen, fellas,
all you have to do

is go around the neighborhood
and collect all the old junk

you can get your hands on.

- Junk?

- Well, not exactly junk.

Just ask people if they've
got any old clothes or picture

frames or books.

You know, stuff like that.

It's for the Women's
Club charity bazaar.

- It's for a very good cause.

- What do you say, boys?
How about it?

- Sounds good to me.

- Me, too.

- OK, then it's a deal.

Tell you what.

We'll meet you guys back here
at about 1:30 with all the stuff

you've collected.
OK?

- OK, Mr. Nelson.
See you later.

- So long, fellas.
- Bye.

- Be sure and pick up a
lot of good stuff, now.

- Don't worry.
You can count on us.

- Think we've done
the right thing?

- Maybe not.

We probably could have
gotten them for $1.

- How'd you like that?

- That's not bad.

Could be your lucky day.

- Realize that's four
strikes in a row?

- Hey, by golly, that's right.

You ought to bowl with a
guilty conscience more often.

- Oh, you're a fine one to talk.

I notice you haven't taken your
eyes off the front entrance

since we came in here.

- Oh, there was
some guy over there

making me kind of nervous.

He reminded me of
a truant officer

we used to have in
our neighborhood.

Well, here goes.

- Oh, hi, Joe.

How's it going?

- Well, not too bad.

- Say, who's got this line
of strikes going here?

- Well, that's not me,
I'll tell you that.

You know Ozzie
Nelson, don't you?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Ah.

- Holy smokes.

You got four strikes
in a row here, huh?

- Yeah, I just got lucky.

I'll probably choke
up on the next ball.

- Oh, don't say that.

If you get seven
in a row, you win

one of those silver trophies.

- Now you know he's
going to choke.

- Don't be too sure of that.

I must admit, this
getting pretty ridiculous.

- Two more, and
you win the trophy.

- Go ahead, Joe.
- No, no.

Go ahead.
You bowl.

You're hot, Oz.

See what you can do.

- Well, is that legal?

- OK with me.

As long as you get
seven strikes in a row,

that's all that counts.

- Does he get his name
up on the board, too?

- Oh, sure, if he makes it.

- You guys trying to
put a jinx on me here?

- Sorry, Oz.

We'll be quiet.

- Beautiful, Oz.

- Surprised me.

I thought I was coming in light.

- Just one more.
- Come on, Oz.

You can do it.

Now, don't tense up.

Just relax.

- Joe.

- Take a nice easy
back swing, and don't

forget to follow through.

- Joe.

- Oh, sorry, Oz.

I don't want to
make you nervous.

Now, please, everybody quiet.

This is very important.

- Well, that helps a lot.

- I won't even look at you, Oz.

- [sigh]

- Shh.
Shhh.

Shh.
Shh.

- Atta-boy, Oz.

Oh, that's great.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Does he get a trophy?

- He sure does.

- Come on, Oz.

- Well, wait a second.

As long as I'm going so good,
why don't I try for 300?

I saw a guy do it
on television once.

- Go ahead.
Give it a try.

- The pressure's off now.

- Ah.

Guess I was being greedy.

- That looks pretty good.

- Congratulations, Oz.

Here's your trophy.

- Oh, thank you very much.

Thank you.

- And don't forget to tell
your friends where you got it--

Stanley's Bowl.

- You bet.

- Ah, this is quite a surprise.

Wait till Harriet sees this.

She won't believe it.

- Wait a minute.

You can't show that to Harriet.
- Well, why not?

- We were supposed
to be out collecting

stuff for the charity drive,
not down here bowling.

- Well, the stuff's
being collected.

What difference does it make?

- I hope you're right.

- Excuse me, Mr. Nelson.

Could I have your autograph?

- Oh, yes, certainly.

- It's for the two malts
and the cheese sandwich.

- Oh.

- Say, I hope the kids
collected something.

- Oh, I'm sure they did.

At least enough for
us to save face.

- Aren't you going to leave
that here in the house?

- I think the kids might
get a kick out of seeing it.

- Who are you kidding?

- What are you talking about?

- Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Hi, Mr. Randolph.
- Hi, fellas.

Well, how'd you make out?

You collect any stuff?
- We sure did.

Come on and take a look.

- It's right in
front of your garage.

- Hey, how about that?

- Hey, you guys sure
did a great job.

- Thanks, Mr. Nelson.

- Hey, where'd you get all this?

- Different places.

- Some people were moving, and
they gave us a lot of stuff.

- Some of the people
felt sorry for us.

- Felt sorry for you?
How come?

- I brought my
little brother along.

He was wearing old clothes.

- Yeah, and every time
you pinch him, he cries.

- Wanna hear me?

- Uh, that's OK.

I'll take your word for it Well,
you sure did a great job, boys.

- Thanks.
- Well, come on, Oz.

Let's bring the car
around, start loading this.

- OK.

Well, here you are.

Here's $2 for you.

- Thanks, Mr. Nelson.

- $2 for you.

- Thanks, Mr. Nelson.

- And here's $0.50 for you.

- Thank you, Mr. Nelson.

- It's OK.
Thank you.

- Yeah, thank you, boys.

You sure collected
a lot of great junk.

- Uh, oh, uh, by the way, I want
to show you fellas something.

- Where'd you get this?

- Oh, uh, down the street aways.

- OK.

Throw it in the pile.

- No.

Well, here we are.

I guess this is the last of it.

- Well, where'd did you
find all this stuff?

- Oh, you know, around.

- You'd be surprised what you
can dig up when you really try.

- Well, I must admit, you
fellas did a beautiful job.

- Oh, thank you.

- Well, that lazy husband of
mine didn't collect anything.

He was out playing
golf all morning.

- No.

- Really proud of
you two fellas.

- I'll say we are.

I would have bet
money you'd goof off.

- Clara, how can you say that?

This is for a worthy cause.

- Joe.

- What's the matter, Oz?

There's nothing
wrong with accepting

a little credit when it's due.

- Well, let's take this stuff
out and price it, Clara.

- Well, I can't get over it.

Pete and I covered our
entire neighborhood,

and we couldn't collect
half what you did.

How'd you guys find this stuff?

- Just lucky, I guess.

- Uh, Joe, don't you think
we ought to get out of here?

- What for?

- You know, this is
really very pretty.

Where'd you get it?

- Well, gee, I don't
remember exactly.

You know how it is.

- Harriet, the
photographer's here.

- Oh, good.
Don't go away, now.

- What photographer?

- They're going to
take publicity pictures

for the paper.

- Uh, think maybe we're taking
too many bows, overplaying

this a little?

- Of course not.

After all, we
collected this stuff.

- We did not.

The kids collected it.

- Well, we were responsible
for the kids collecting it.

- Well, I suppose.

- Look, Oz, Clara hasn't been
this happy with me for years.

You're not going to
louse it up, are ya?

- You got a point there.

- Oh, this is wonderful.

Did they collect all of this?

- They certainly did.

- That's right.

- Well, we've got a
surprise for you, fellas.

You're going to get your
pictures in the paper.

[stammering] Well, what for?

- For making the biggest
single contribution

to our rummage sale.

- Oh, well, thank you.

- Well, now, just a second.

I really don't think
it's necessary for us

to have our pictures
in the paper.

- Why not?

I think it's just
wonderful when a couple

of busy men like yourselves
are willing to give up

your Saturday to do all
this work to help us out.

- Would you face
this way, please?

Thank you.

Big smile, now.

Hold it.
Thank you.

- Now, why don't we have a few
pictures of the girls painting

the posters?
- Oh, Joe.

I'm so proud of you.

I wonder if they'll put
you on the front page.

- Oh, wouldn't
that be wonderful?

- Harriet, Clara, would you
help us over here, please?

- Sure.

- Doggone it, Joe.

Now you've really
got us in a jam.

- What do you mean?

- Well, when they find out
I won the bowling trophy,

they'll know we
couldn't possibly

have collected this stuff.

Be very embarrassing
for us and the wives.

- Well then, there's
only one thing to do.

Forget all about the trophy.

- Forget about the trophy?

- Sure.

It was just a fluke anyway.

Where is it?

- It's out in my car.

[stammering] Where
are you going?

- I'm going out and
get it and bury it.

- Joe!

Joe!

- Ozzie?

Ozzie?

- Uh, I'm out in the garage.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh.

Hi, Doc.

Uh, where's Harriet?

- Oh, she went back
in the house, I guess.

- Oh.
- What are you working on?

- Oh, uh, that's nothing.

I thought you were Harriet.

- Oh, thank you.

Hey, I, uh, I got
something to show you.

- This is yours?
- Yeah.

Read it.

- "Dr. Frank Williams.

Table tennis champion.

CHMW."

- Right.

How about that?

- Yeah.

It's-- it's very nice.

Uh, what's the CHMW for?

- Oh, that's the City
Hospital Maternity Ward.

It's a little
tournament we got up

to kill time while we're
standing around waiting.

- Oh.

Congratulations.

- Well, thanks.

Pretty nice, huh?

- Uh, yeah.

Uh, look, if you
can keep a secret,

I won a little trophy
myself this morning.

- Oh, you did?
What for?

- Ozzie.

- Oh.

- Can I you guys
something to eat?

- Oh, no thanks, Harriet.

I got to get going.
- That's good.

Well, it's, uh, nice
seeing you, Doc.

- Well, now, wait a second.

What is it you said you won?

- Oh, well, I won that Rotary
Club golf tournament, remember,

a couple of years ago?

That is, I was the runner up.

- You said something
about this morning.

- Oh, no.
Not this morning.

He was a good boy.

He and Joe collected
a whole bunch of stuff

for the Women's Club.

- Oh.

You got a trophy for that?

- Oh, no.

It's, uh, kind of a long story.

- How long has it been since
you were in for a checkup, Oz?

- Now, Doc, no soliciting
outside of office hours.

- OK, but don't put
it off too long.

- Well, bye, Doc.

- Bye, Harriet.

- [WHISPERING] Uh, Doc?

- What's the matter?

- I want to show you
the trophy I won.

- That's a trophy?

It looks like an old boot to me.

- That's funny.

I put it in there
just a minute ago.

I must put it in the other boot.

I really did win
a trophy, though.

Just wait here.

I'll show it to you.

- Well, just bring it along when
you come in for that checkup.

- Doc!

Doc!

Well, hi, Joe.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

- I've been looking
all over for ya.

- Anything wrong?

- Well, no, not exactly.

But I've been thinking
this whole thing over,

and I just don't
think it's fair for us

to take credit for that
stuff the kids collected

this morning.
- Well, why not?

We paid them for it.

Besides, I rather enjoy
the royal treatment

I've been getting at home.

Clara thinks I'm the
greatest husband in town.

- But will you stop
thinking about yourself

and start thinking
about those kids?

After all, they
collected the stuff,

so they should get
the credit for it.

Besides, what kind of an
example are we showing 'em?

- Oh, come on, Oz.

Who are you kidding?

All you want to do is show off
that little tin trophy you won.

- Tin trophy?

It's a darn sight better than
some crummy-looking plaque

you win for playing ping
pong at the maternity board.

- What?

- Oh, forget it.

It doesn't make any
difference anyway.

I'm sure the kids have
told everybody in town

that they collected the stuff.

- I wouldn't be
too sure of that.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson.
- Oh, hi.

- Mr. Randolph, are
you sure you don't want

me to take these over there?

- Oh, no, thank you, Kathy.

I'd rather handle this myself.

Excuse me, Oz.

- What's this?

- Ready for another
round, fellas?

- Yes, sir.

- Your timing is beautiful.

- Thank you.

Now, fellas, about that stuff
you collected this morning.

- What stuff?

- Did we collect something?

- I don't know nothin'.

- Now you're talkin', fellas.

- Uh, Harriet?
- Yes.

- There's a light on
out in the garage.

Is somebody out there?
- Oh, yes.

Dave and Rick came over to
borrow some fishing gear.

- Oh.

Well, they didn't take
my hip boots, did they?

- I don't know.

Why?

- Uh, well, never mind.

- Uh, hi, fellas.
- Oh, hi, pop.

- Uh, we just wanted to borrow
a few flies and some line.

- Sure.
Help yourselves.

Uh, there's something
I want you guys to see.

- Oh, we don't need the boots.

- I just want to
show you something

if you can keep a secret.

The wrong boot again.

You like that?
- Hey.

That's a nice little trophy.
- Shh.

I don't want your mother
to find out about it.

- Why not?
- It's for bowling.

- Well, yeah.
I rolled seven strikes in a row.

- Oh, no kidding.

Gee, that's great, Pop.

You ought to put this
up on the mantel.

- Well, yeah.

Only thing, though, I
don't want your mother

to find out about it.

You see, Joe Randolph and I
sneaked out and went bowling.

We were supposed
to be collecting

stuff for the rummage sale.

- Well, she's going to
find out about it anyway.

- Well, not unless
you guys tell her.

- Oh, well, somebody's
bound to tell her.

Your name's up on the board down
at the bowling alley, isn't it?

- Oh, gee.

I forgot all about that.

Maybe I ought to go down there
and ask them to erase it.

- Oh, you don't have to do that.

- Well, I do if I
don't want your mother

to find out about it.
- No.

Just say you're going
bowling tomorrow.

Disappear for a while, and
then come back with the trophy.

You don't have to
say when you won it.

- Hey.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Thanks a lot.

- Any time, Pop.

- Uh, Harriet, do
you have anything

planned for this afternoon?

- Nothing special, why?

- I thought I'd go
bowling, if you don't mind.

- OK.
- Well, bye.

See you later.
- Oh, you're going so soon?

- Uh, yeah.

I thought I'd go down
there and get it over with.

That is, it's not so crowded
if I get down there early.

Well, bye.

- Bye.

Ozzie?

- Uh, yeah.

- I was just
thinking, it's a shame

to have you go down
there all alone.

Why don't I go with you?

- Why?

- Well, it's not much
fun bowling by yourself.

And why don't I
call Clara and Joe?

I'll bet they'd
like to go with us.

- [sigh]

- Why would I do that?

I don't even know her?

I'll be right with you.

I'll call you back.
Hey, what are you doing there?

You can't do that.

- Well, it's my name.

- You erased your own name?

- Oh, come on, now.

What name was up there?

- Well, it was my name.
- Wait a minute.

It was Oh-zie Nelson.

- Look, I don't want my--

- Too late now.

- Well, what was your hurry?

- Well, I just want to make
sure everything was all set.

Uh, why don't you get yourselves
a couple of bowling balls?

They're right over there.
- OK.

Come on, Clara.

- You must be out of your
mind coming down here.

If the girls see your name
up there on the board,

it's liable to ruin everything.

- Well, why do you
suppose I rushed

in here ahead of you guys?

- You want an alley?

- Uh, yes, please.

- Why don't you take number 12.

There you are.
- Thank you.

- And if you want your
name up on the board,

you'll have to roll
seven strikes in a row.

- Well, yes.

Well, thank you very much.

- Would you mind telling
me what you're up to?

- Well, it was just a mistake.

That's all.

I didn't expect the
girls to come along.

I just wanted Harriet
to think I went

bowling so I could bring home
the trophy as if I'd won it

today.
- Well, why don't you?

Like the man said,
all you have to do

is roll seven strikes in a row.

- Are you kidding?

- Well, after all,
you did it once.

You can do it again.

Unless you want to
admit it was pure luck.

- It was not.

- Well, have it your way.

Why should I argue with you
over some crummy little trophy?

- What do you mean,
crummy little trophy?

- Oh, come on, Oz.

Let's face it.

It's just a gimmick, an
ad for the bowling alley.

- Look, you're just jealous
because you didn't win it

and I did.
- You did what?

- I won a trophy.

- What trophy?

- Well, the one that's
home in my hip boots.

- What?

- Well, I won a bowling trophy
down here yesterday morning

when we were supposed to
be out collecting stuff

for the charity drive.

- Oz!

You were down here bowling?

- Well, you know
darn well I was.

You were here with me.

I rolled seven strikes in a row.

- Well, that's wonderful, but
who collected all that stuff

you brought in?

- Well, if you must know, it
was a couple of the neighborhood

kids.

- And you guys took
the credit for it.

Shame on you.

- Well, we didn't
know everybody was

going to make such a
big deal out of it.

- Well, they took your picture
for the paper and everything.

- Yeah, but they
didn't print it.

I've been saving this
for the right moment,

and, uh, here it is.

This was in this
morning's paper.

- "Neighborhood kids
collect for charity drive."

- Well, how did
that get in there?

- Well, after I saw you at
the malt shop yesterday,

I got to thinking, Oz,
that maybe you were right.

I called the paper
and told them the kids

deserved all the credit.

- I'm proud of you, Joe.

That was darn nice of you.

- Yeah, I thought so.

And besides, those
little bandits

wanted a malt every afternoon
for the next two weeks.

- Well, the thing
I can't figure out,

does this make them the
good guys or the bad guys?

- I don't know either.

But I'm awfully glad you
won the trophy, dear.

- Oh, thank you.

And the best part of
it is wait till you see

my name on the bulletin board.

Come on.

[cheers]

- Charlie?

Charlie, come on over
here and get your trophy.

- Guy over there just rolled
seven strikes in a row.

- Oh.

Harriet, hurry up if
you want to see my name.

- Uh, congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Did you see it?

- I think I did.

- All right.

Let's have a big hand
for Charlie Fink!

[cheers]

- Did they cheer
for you, too, dear?

- Oh, yeah.
Gee, you should have heard them.

Well, that's the way it goes.

One minute you're a hero, and
the next minute, you're a bum.

As I say, that's life.

Hi.

We have a touch of nostalgia
for you this evening.

We've had literally thousands
of requests to replay Ricky

singing his first recording.

It sold over a million records.

So here he is, Rick at age
16, singing "I'm Walkin'."

["i'm walkin'" playing]

- [SINGING] I'm walkin'.

Yes, indeed.

I'm talkin' for you
and me, and I'm hopin'

that you come back to me.

I'm lonely as I can be, and
I'm waiting for your company,

and I'm hopin' that
you come back for me.

What you gonna do when
the well runs dry?

You're gonna run away and hide.

I'm gonna run
right by your side.

For you, pretty
baby, I'd even die.

I'm walkin'.

Yes, indeed.

I'm talkin' for you
and me, and I'm hopin'

that you come back to me.

What you gonna do when
the well runs dry?

You're gonna run away and hide.

I'm gonna run
right by your side.

For you, pretty
baby, I'm even die.

I'm walkin'.

Yes, indeed.

I'm talkin' for you
and me, and I'm hopin'

that you come back to me.

[cheers]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company.

- Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

- That's what we Nelsons do.

[jazzy music]