All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E09.Lawyers.Convention.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's June.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, hi, Dave.
- Hi.

- You're back early, aren't you?

- Yeah, I think
everybody was trying

to get away for the convention,
including the judge.

- Well, that figures.

- Anything happen
while I was gone?

- Yeah, you had three
phone calls, all from June.

- She's pretty excited
about the trip, isn't she?

- She sounds like it.

The first call was
to find out what

suit you thought she should
wear, the black or the gray.

- [chuckle] Which
one did I decide?

- The blue check.

- Good.

- The second call was to
ask you if you really needed

to take all those shirts.

She's running out of
room in her suitcase.

- And the third?

- That was just to let
me know that in spite

of what you decide,
she's wearing the beige.

- Boy, she's packed and repacked
that suitcase about 25 times.

She's going to wear
out all her clothes.

[phone rings]

- Donaldson and Kelley.

Oh, yes, Mr. Kelley.

How was your flight?

Oh, good.

Yes, he's right here.

Line two, Dave.

- Thanks.

Oh, hi, Mr. Kelley.

Yeah, fine.

Thanks.

I'll give you all the
details when I see you.

Oh, you had a good trip, huh?

Oh, good.

How's Mrs. Kelley?

She didn't?

Well, how come?

Oh.

Oh.

I see.

Oh, no.

That's OK.

I'm sure she'll understand.

OK.

Well, I'll see
you up there then.

Yes, sir, tonight.

OK.

Bye.

- Bad news?

- I'm afraid so.

Mrs. Kelley didn't
go up there with him.

- She didn't?
How come?

- I don't know.

I guess she just
decided not to go.

- Oh, well, this doesn't
affect you and June, does it?

- Well, yeah.

See, the wives are supposed
to be on an expense account.

Now that Mrs. Kelley is not
going, it changes all that.

- Is that what Mr. Kelley said?
- Well, sort of.

He just assumed that
June wouldn't be going.

- Well, gee, she's going
to be awfully disappointed,

isn't she?
- She sure is.

I don't know quite
how to tell her.

- Oh, well, you'd be surprised
how understanding wives can

be about things like this.

- I hope so.

Say, you don't suppose you--

- Oh, no.
- No, I didn't think you would.

- Really, I'm not very
good at that sort of thing.

- That's what I thought.

[music playing]

June?

- I'm in here, honey.

So I just about got
everything ready.

- Yeah.

- Oh, how sweet.

Oh, thank you, honey.

They are for me, aren't they?

- Yeah.

- They're beautiful.

Oh, only thing,
though, they're just

going to wilt while we're away.

Hey, I know.

Why don't we give them to
mom when they pick us up

to take us to the airport?

- Well, yeah, I suppose
we could do that.

- Oh, they're beautiful.

- Look, uh, there's
something I have to tell you.

- Oh, I know.

You think I packed
too many things.

Well, you never know what the
weather's going to be like.

And, besides, you want me
to look nice, don't you?

- Oh, yeah.

You always do.

- Well, I better go
put these in water.

Oh, would you see if you could
get these bags closed for me?

- June?
- Yeah?

- Look, I know you're going
to be terribly disappointed,

but, well, the truth is there's
been a little change in plans.

- You mean we're not going?

- Well, I have to go, but,
well, see, Mr. Kelley phoned

the office, and--

Aw, the heck with it.

Let's go anyway.

We can afford it.

- Well, I thought the whole
thing was on the expense

account, I mean for both of us.

- Well, that was my
understanding, too.

In fact, Mr. Kelley
said just that.

Let's take the wives along.

He even pointed out it was
a perfectly legal deduction

under the circumstances.

- What made him change his mind?

- Well, I guess it was because
Mrs. Kelley decided not to go.

- Oh.

- Well, let's us go, anyway.

I shouldn't even
have mentioned it.

- Well, of course
you should have.

The only reason I was
going in the first place

was because the trip wasn't
going to cost us anything.

- Oh, we've made all our
plans and everything.

We might as well go.

We can get the money
from our savings account.

- No, we can't.

We promised we
wouldn't touch that.

- What about the money we
put away to have our carpets

cleaned?

- No, we can't use that, either.

- Well, why not?

We've used it two or
three times before.

- Well, that's just what I mean.

We'll never get the
carpets cleaned.

- OK, so let's have
a little fun and live

with the dirty carpets.

- Well, they're not that dirty.

- Oh, you know what I mean.

- Besides, you'll be
up there attending

a lot of meetings and
all, and we probably

wouldn't get much
time together, anyway.

No, I think I'd rather save
the money till we can go away

by ourselves and just have fun.

- I'm sure going to miss you.

- Well, boy, you certainly
gave in in a hurry.

[doorbell]

- Saved by the bell.

- Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.

Hope we're not late.
- No, you're right on time.

- Hi, June.
- Hi, Mom.

- Wasn't sure just when the
plane was supposed to take off.

- Anything I can do to help?
- Oh, I don't think so.

Thanks, anyway.

- You know, this is a
pretty smart idea of yours

to go along with, Dave.

From what I understand
of these law conventions,

they can be pretty wild affairs.

- Uh, Pop--

- See, these lawyers are
so sedate and dignified

during the week, that when they
get a chance to bust loose,

it's really New Year's Eve.

[chuckle]

- Pop, June's not going.

- You're not going?

- How come?

- Well, it just didn't
seem to work out that way.

- Oh, gee, that's a shame.

- Well, it might
be just as well.

And that's, uh--

I was just kidding
just a moment ago,

but these things
can be pretty dull.

- Oh, come on now, Dad.

I heard you the first time.

- No, I really mean it.

- You're not doing any
better than I did, Pop.

- Well, uh, I've been sick.

- Well, I guess I better
get my stuff together.

- Is everything OK?

- Yeah, I checked the bags
and canceled your reservation.

You sure you don't want
to change your mind?

- Oh, no, thanks, honey.

We really can't afford it.

- Well, Dave, I got you
a couple of magazines

to read on the plane.

Here's a "Playboy"
and "Fun in the Sun."

- Oh, he's just kidding.

- I just want to make sure.

- Look, honey, I hope you
understand this isn't exactly

a pleasure trip.

I mean, I wouldn't get much
chance to be with you, anyway.

- I understand, honey.

Don't worry about it.

- As a matter of
fact, I was just

talking to a couple
of friends of mine,

and they tell me practically
none of the wives are going.

- Honey, please, I understand.

- Hi, Dave.

- Hi, Ed.

Hi, Charlie.

- I see you couldn't get away
without your wife, either.

- I'll see you on the plane.

- Uh, what was this about
none of the wives going along?

- That's what they told me.

Look, there's still time
if you want to come along.

- Oh, no, honey, I
was only teasing.

We'd better see about
your seat reservations.

- OK, I think we get
them right over there.

- We'll wait here.

- OK.

- I think June ought to go
along with Dave, don't you?

- I think you and I ought
to stay out of this.

- Well, if it's the money,
I've got my checkbook with me.

- Harriet, please, you'd
just embarrass them.

- Do you have any
seats by the window?

- Uh, well, let's see.

Yes, we have just
one window seat left.

Here you are, seat 9A.

- Oh, thank you.

That was a lucky break.

- Yeah.

- Do you have any
seats by the window?

- No, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid not.

- Oh, gee, this
is my first trip,

and I did want to
sit by a window.

- Gee, I think I
got the last one.

- Oh, you were lucky.

- Well, here, why
don't you take mine?

I'll probably be doing
a lot of reading anyway.

- Are you sure?

- Sure, go ahead.

- Oh, thank you very much.

Are you going to the convention?

- Yes, I am.

- Oh, I'm so excited.

I'm in a beauty contest.

- Oh, good for you.

- Oh, pardon me.

I see some friends
of mine over there.

And thank you again.

- That's OK.

- Excuse me.

- What's this about
a beauty contest?

- Oh, I don't know.

I'm sure it doesn't have
anything to do with us.

That is, the Bar Association.

- Well, then where is she going?

- I don't know.

Your guess is as good as mine.

There's probably a sales
convention or something

going on at the same time.

- Well, why would they
have a beauty contest

at a sales convention?

- I don't know any more
about it than you do.

- Excuse me, sir.

Would you like another seat?

- Oh, yes, thank you.

I had 9A.

- Where would you like to stay?

- Oh, anywhere.

- Anywhere except 9B.

- I was just going to say that.

- Here you are, 19B.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Flight 15 now
boarding at Gate 5.

Flight 15 now
boarding at Gate 5.

- Honey, this is silly.

Why don't you come
along with me?

- I told you I'd rather not.

You go on up and have your fun.

- Look, I don't
want to have fun.

I want to have you with me.

I mean-- you know what I mean.

- Well, in the first place.
We can't afford it.

We need the money to
clean the carpets.

- Well, the heck
with the carpets.

Why don't you come up with me?

- Well, for one thing, I don't
have any extra clothes with me.

- Well, why don't you catch
the first plane in the morning,

then?
- What's this?

- Well, I was just trying
to talk Junie into flying up

tomorrow morning.

- Oh, I think that's
a wonderful idea.

Why don't you?
- Well, I don't know.

I'll have to think about it.

- I really wish
you would, honey.

- Hi, David.
- Oh, hi.

- Hi, Dave.

- I thought you
didn't know anything

about a beauty contest.

- Honey, those are lawyers.

- Lawyers?

I'll be up in the first
plane in the morning.

More cookies, Mom?
- Oh, no.

Thank you, dear.

- How about you, Dad?

- Oh, no, thanks.

I think it's about time
for us to get on home.

- OK, then we'll pick you
up about 8:15, all right?

- Oh, gee, I wish you wouldn't.

Why don't you just
let me take the bus?

I can get it right
at the corner.

It takes me right
out to the airport.

- Oh, no, don't be silly.

It's no trouble at all.

- Look, I'm just going
to play golf tomorrow.

Why don't I drive you
out to the airport,

and we'll all have
breakfast together?

- Hey, wait a minute.
I have an idea.

Why don't you come home
with us and spend the night?

- Hey, yeah, that
sounds like fun.

I think I'll take
you up on that.

I have my bags all packed.

- Well, good, I'll get them
before you change your mind.

- You got your key?

- Oh, yeah, here it is.

- Can you handle those, dear?

- Yeah, I think so.

- You know, this is
all pretty silly.

- What do you mean?

- Well, I decided not to go.

And nothing's really
changed, and here I am going.

- Oh, I think it's
pretty exciting.

- Well, it would be if
it didn't cost so much.

- It's up to you, dear.

Whatever you want to do.

- Well, I guess I
might as well go.

Uh, Mom, I don't know.

I think maybe I better not
go up there, after all.

- Oh, whatever you say.

- Yeah, I think maybe
I better stay here.

You don't mind, do you?
- Oh, no, dear.

It's up to you.

- Gee, I hope Dave won't
be too disappointed.

- Well, I really do think he
wanted you to go with him.

- Do you really?
- Yeah, I do.

- I mean, you don't think
he was just saying that?

- Oh, no, I'm sure he wasn't.

- Oh, well, what the heck?

I might as well go.
Come on.

- Ozzie.

- The only thing that
bothers me, though,

is if we spend the money
now, we won't be able to take

a trip later on by ourselves.

- Well, yes, you've
got a point there.

- Yeah, and that really
might be more fun.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Dad.

I think I've changed
my mind again.

- Which way?

- That way.

Gee, I'm sorry to
cause all this trouble.

- Oh, don't worry about it.

It's no trouble at all.

- I don't know what's the
matter with me tonight.

I'm really not like this.

It's not usual.

- Oh, really?
I am.

- You are?

I guess I am, too.

- Well, why don't
you sleep on it

and give us a ring
in the morning?

- Gee, I think I will, Mom.
Good night.

- Good night, dear.
- Thanks for everything.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight, Dad.

- Oh, Dad?

- Yeah?

- You going someplace?

- Oh.

[chuckle]

[calm music]

[dreamy harp]

[applause]

- Now, gentlemen,
I'd like to introduce

the judge of our beauty
pageant, a young man

who has been chosen
because of his integrity,

his impartiality, and
his keen appreciation

of feminine pulchritude,
Mr. David Nelson.

[cheering]

Mr. Nelson, have you
reached a decision?

- Well, I'd like to take a
look at the 5 finalists again.

- Ladies, if you please.

[cheering]

[music playing]

- That judge is
awfully cute, isn't he?

- Yes, he is.

Is he a real judge?

- Oh, yes.

He's a Bachelor of Law.

- He is not a bachelor!

He's my husband!

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

I'm going to see if I
can get a date with him.

- Me, too.

- He is my husband,
and you let him alone.

My husband and
you let him alone!

[dreamy harp]

Gee, Dave, I just don't think
I ought to come up there.

- Why not, honey?

- Well, we need the money
to clean our carpets.

- Well, forget the carpets.

They're not that bad.

- Oh, yes, they are.

- No, they're not, really.

- Are you sure?

- Of course I'm sure.
How bad can they be?

Nobody's going to notice a
little spot here and there.

- Well, maybe you're right.

I'll think it over and
call you back later, OK?

- OK.

- Bye.

[awkward music]

Help, David!

Somebody call the
carpet cleaners!

Carpet cleaners!

Carpet-- Hello?

I'd like to place a
person to person call

to Mr. David Nelson.

Yes.

That's right.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, it is.
- Hi, honey.

It's me.

- Oh, hi.

What time is it?

- Well, I don't know.

I guess it's pretty
late, though.

Oh, no, I just thought
I'd call and tell you

I've decided not to come
up tomorrow, after all.

- Oh, gee, how come?

- Well, I don't know.

I've been thinking
it over, and I just

don't think we ought to
spend the money right now.

The carpets really
do need cleaning,

and I just don't think we
ought to put it off any longer.

- Well, whatever you say.

I sure miss you, though.

- Oh, I miss you, too, honey.

Will you call me tomorrow night?

- I sure will.

I'll call you just as soon
as I get back to the hotel.

- OK.

Well, have a good time.

- Not without you.

How can I?

- That's the right answer.

- OK, well, thanks
for calling, honey.

Bye.

- Goodnight.

[peaceful music]

Well, anyway, I'm glad I
finally made up my mind.

- And you're
definitely not going?

- Definitely.
Positively.

- You think.

- No, I really mean it.

- There's a late
afternoon plane, you know.

- Oh, come on now, Mom.

That's not fair.

Here I am trying to show
great strength of character

and be very practical.

- Oh, I appreciate that.

But there's such a thing as
being too practical, you know.

- Well, actually, I
don't have much choice,

not if I'm going to get
the carpets cleaned.

And they really do need it.

Hey, wait a second.

I've got an idea.
Why don't I clean them myself?

- Well, sure.
Why not?

People do it every day.

- Well, of course they do,
and I can get the shampoo

at the market.
- And I'll help you.

My waxer has an
attachment for that.

- Well, come on.

If I hurry, maybe we can catch
the late afternoon plane.

- Oh, wait a second now.

Why don't we clean the
carpets after you get back

from the trip?
- Oh, no.

Gee, that wouldn't work.

Dave would just insist
upon doing it himself.

And, actually, I feel
it's my responsibility.

- Well, OK.

But I think you're being
awfully noble about it.

Besides, I wonder if
we can finish in time,

I mean just the two of us.

- Oh, I thought I recognized
two of my favorite girls.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi, Dad.

- You're in time.
- Hi.

Oh, good for me.

OK, give me the check.

- No, I don't mean that.

You just volunteered
to clean a carpet.

- Clean a carpet?

- Oh, gee, thanks, Dad!

- Now, now, now,
listen, don't you

remember I told you
girls I was going

to play golf this afternoon?

- Maybe I can borrow
another waxer from Clara.

- Well, I think I can
get one from my landlady.

- Uh, Harriet--

- And if you call Rick,
I'm pretty sure they have

one down at the fraternity.

- Uh, Harriet--

- Oh, OK, dear, if
you insist, we'll

let you pick up the check, too.

[machines whirring]

- Column left.

- Company halt.

- I don't know.

Maybe we should have
let him play golf.

- [chuckle] What we need is
a little organization around

here.

- Why don't we each take
a different section?

Junie, you work over
here in the middle,

and I'll work over
at the kitchen.

And you take that bucking
bronco over there by the door.

- OK, but if the door should
swing open, and I disappear,

don't be surprised.

- You better not.

How we doing on the time, June?

- I think we'll just
about make it if we hurry.

[machines whirring]

[knocking]

- Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Rick.
- Hi.

Where do I plug in?

- Right over here.

- How did you get
roped into this?

- I made the mistake
of answering the phone

at the fraternity house.
- Well, come on, you guys.

Let's get moving.

We haven't got much time.

Well, you all set?

- All ready to go.

Thanks again, Mom, for helping
me clean those carpets.

- Oh, cut it out.
It was a team effort.

I'm glad they turned
out so beautifully.

- Me, too.

- Here's a magazine for
you to read on the plane.

- Oh, thanks, Dad.

- And I don't want
to feel left out.

Here's one for you.

It's called "How to Clean
the Carpets Yourself

While Your Husband Plays Golf."

- [chuckle] Oh, thank you, dear.

Did you get everything?

- I think so, which usually
means I've forgotten something.

- Does Dave know what
time your plane arrives?

- Oh my gosh, David,
that's what I forgot.

I didn't phone him.

He doesn't know I'm
coming up there.

- Oh, we can call him for you.
- Yeah, we'll call him.

- Oh, that's OK.

They haven't announced
my flight yet.

- Well, there are a couple of
phone booths right over here.

Change, uh--

- Here you are, dear.

- Oh, thank you.

- Sorry, that room
doesn't answer.

- Well, he's there
with the convention.

Is there someplace
else you could try?

- I'll connect you with
convention headquarters.

That's the main ballroom.

[phone ringing]

- Hello, main ballroom.

- Hello, is this the
convention headquarters?

- Yes, ma'am.
What can I do for you?

- Well, I'd like to
speak to David Nelson.

This is his wife.

- David Nelson?

Wait a minute.

I'll check.

Hey, you guys, is there
a Nelson in there?

- Yeah, there's
one at our table.

Would you tell him he's
wanted on the phone?

- OK, I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

- He'll be right here, miss.

- Who is it?
- His wife.

- His wife?

Well, that girl that he's
with supposed to be his wife.

- Shh!

- Somebody looking
for me out here?

- Yeah, you're
wanted on the phone.

It's your wife.

- My wife?

- Hello, honey.
- Hello.

David?

- No, this is Charlie.

- Well, is this the Bar
Association convention?

- No, this is not the bar.

This is the main ballroom.

I think she's had
a few too many.

Hello?

Operator?

Operator?

Would you connect this young
lady with the bar, please?

Thank you very much.

[relieved sigh]

- Hello?

Hello?

- Any luck?

- Well, I got a hold of
somebody, but it wasn't David.

At least I hope it wasn't David.

- June, I hate to rush
you, but they've announced

your plane a couple of times.

- Oh, gee, I wonder if this is
a mistake, my going up there,

I mean.

- [chuckle] You must be kidding.

- Oh, go ahead.

I know you'll have a good time.

- Flight 14 now
boarding at gate two.

- Well, that's me.

- Goodbye, dear.
- Bye, Mom.

- Bye.
- Bye, Dad.

- Better hurry now.

- Say, are you in any
hurry to get home?

- Not especially, why?

- Well, why don't we go out
and watch the plane take off?

- That's a good idea.

- Mom, Pop?

- Dave, what are
you doing down here?

- Well, I attended all the
business meetings today,

so I decided to come home.

It got kind of lonesome
up there without June.

- Well, we just put
her on the plane.

- She's on her
way up to see you.

- To see you.
- You're kidding.

- No, you better hurry
up and get her off.

- Wait a second, I
got a better idea.

Pop, could you
lend me some money?

- Yeah, sure.

- That was close.

- Yeah, it sure was.

- 25C, right here.

- Oh, uh, well,
if you don't mind,

I think I'll go down and sit
next to that good looking

redhead.
- Good luck.

You're the third
one that's tried.

- Well, I have a very
unusual technique.

- This should be interesting.

- Pardon me, lady.

- Dave!

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company--

- Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

- That's what we Nelsons do.

[music playing]

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a terrible thing.

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take away your
outdoor recreation,

ruin your hunting and fishing.

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and turn the faucet off

on your supply of water
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Fire is mean and vicious,
but it can be stopped,

stopped before it ever starts.

Here's what you can do to help.

Memorize and observe
these four simple rules,

and you'll be doing your
part to prevent forest fires.

One, crush out cigarettes,
cigar, and pipe ashes.

Two, break matches
in two after using.

Three, drown all campfires,
then stir and drown again.

Four, find out the
law before using fire.

Remember, only you can
prevent forest fires.