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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:02,027 --> 00:00:03,953
Finally, somewhere we
can charge our phones
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,134
without having to buy anything.
3
00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:07,704
I know. Thank God. Literally!
4
00:00:08,231 --> 00:00:11,528
The problem is, if my mom
calls when my phone is dead,
5
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,723
she gets mad she can't
reach me and it activates
6
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:14,760
the guilt sequence.
7
00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,244
Well, she may be the trigger,
8
00:00:16,452 --> 00:00:17,997
but you're the one omitting those...
9
00:00:18,232 --> 00:00:20,735
Wait. What's the opposite of endorphins?
10
00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:21,859
Judaism.
11
00:00:21,884 --> 00:00:24,712
She just keeps calling me to
ask me to do stupid things,
12
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:26,612
and I feel guilty, so I say yes,
13
00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:27,965
and then I feel like shit,
14
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,586
and then we start the
whole thing from the top.
15
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,698
A-5, 6, 7, 8.
16
00:00:30,723 --> 00:00:33,529
You know, there is not a
single fucking outlet here.
17
00:00:33,554 --> 00:00:36,017
I know! What is this
place even good for?
18
00:00:37,195 --> 00:00:39,282
Does anybody work here?
19
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,763
Finally an electrical outlet.
20
00:00:46,409 --> 00:00:48,467
Make room for Mommy.
21
00:00:48,558 --> 00:00:50,147
Uh, hey.
22
00:00:50,257 --> 00:00:52,845
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, sorry. So sorry.
23
00:00:52,973 --> 00:00:54,558
Thank you.
24
00:00:54,779 --> 00:00:57,461
Hi. Um, Vanessa. I'm an alcoholic.
25
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,830
- Is this sitcomy?
- Not if we're respectful.
26
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:02,750
I repeat behaviors that hurt me,
27
00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:05,452
and then I feel really bad about myself.
28
00:01:05,477 --> 00:01:07,939
That sounds just like me and my mom.
29
00:01:08,557 --> 00:01:10,115
Oh, shit, Billy. I'm at 1%.
30
00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,060
This is gonna take forever to charge.
31
00:01:12,465 --> 00:01:14,384
Let's stay for the meeting.
32
00:01:14,385 --> 00:01:15,631
Keep coming back.
33
00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:19,453
It works if you work it, so
work it; You're worth it.
34
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:21,656
Thank you very much. Thanks, everybody.
35
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,791
Thank you.
36
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:25,484
Clapping? Why are they clapping?
37
00:01:25,509 --> 00:01:27,300
That guy over there was
barely phoning it in.
38
00:01:27,324 --> 00:01:29,374
Hi. I'm Vanessa. Welcome.
39
00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:30,654
- Hi.
- I'm a hugger.
40
00:01:30,679 --> 00:01:31,920
Oh. Hello.
41
00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:33,071
I'm Julie. I'm not.
42
00:01:33,096 --> 00:01:34,061
Oh, okay. Hi...
43
00:01:34,086 --> 00:01:35,672
- I just sanitized my hands.
- Okay.
44
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,140
Is this your first time in a meeting?
45
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,324
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
46
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,392
I have to say, what you were
yammering on about earlier
47
00:01:41,416 --> 00:01:43,121
really resonated with me.
48
00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:44,654
Listen, if you ever need
anybody to talk to,
49
00:01:44,678 --> 00:01:46,306
please, don't hesitate to call me.
50
00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:48,704
Oh, I'm into dudes.
51
00:01:49,278 --> 00:01:51,402
I wasn't coming on to you.
Just sobriety.
52
00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:53,305
- Oh. Okay.
- Okay?
53
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:54,824
Thanks a lot. And good luck.
54
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,926
- Oh, I don't need good luck.
- Hmm?
55
00:01:56,997 --> 00:01:59,293
- 'Cause I have a boyfriend.
- Oh, he's gay.
56
00:01:59,404 --> 00:02:01,055
No, no, no. He's not my boyfriend.
57
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,166
My boyfriend's way more feminine.
58
00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:08,195
Mom, what's going on? I'm on a deadline.
59
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,099
Netflix just dropped 1,700
episodes of "The Ranch"
60
00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,961
on their poor subscribers overnight.
61
00:02:12,986 --> 00:02:14,822
Julie, I believe that my dentist
62
00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:17,786
is trimming my bangs while
I'm asleep in his chair.
63
00:02:19,614 --> 00:02:22,285
- Mom, no.
- Julie, yes.
64
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:25,859
I had a hunch, so I scheduled a
superfluous teeth whitening.
65
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,218
And look at these selfies.
66
00:02:27,371 --> 00:02:28,870
These are before and after.
67
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,440
This is the before.
68
00:02:30,494 --> 00:02:32,539
And this is the after.
69
00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:34,364
No, wait. That's a mistake.
70
00:02:34,961 --> 00:02:36,851
That's right. This is the befo...
71
00:02:36,922 --> 00:02:38,495
Oh, my God, what's wrong with me?
72
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,147
Why do I keep coming back for this?
73
00:02:40,172 --> 00:02:42,860
Julie, somebody could
be collecting my DNA
74
00:02:42,885 --> 00:02:45,834
or they could be making a wig
from my bangs very slowly.
75
00:02:45,859 --> 00:02:47,402
After all I do for you,
76
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,756
you can't give me ten
minutes of your life.
77
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:52,216
Okay, fine. I'm sorry.
78
00:02:53,077 --> 00:02:56,049
Besides, staring at your hair
is still more interesting
79
00:02:56,074 --> 00:02:57,768
than watching Ashton
Kutcher and Sam Elliott
80
00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:00,212
clash worldviews in front
of a live studio audience.
81
00:03:00,462 --> 00:03:02,788
I think the one on the right
your bangs look shorter.
82
00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:04,588
I knew it! That's the one.
83
00:03:04,613 --> 00:03:06,616
What a creep he is.
84
00:03:06,641 --> 00:03:08,165
Oh, Julie, while you're here,
85
00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,780
I need you to partially clog
the drain in my bathtub
86
00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:13,770
so that when I take a
shower, my feet stay warm.
87
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,646
Arthur, close the door. I
have sort of an awkward
88
00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:18,132
subject to discuss.
89
00:03:18,228 --> 00:03:19,943
Gabby, you've told me
about your favorite
90
00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:21,302
American Girl doll's hysterectomy
91
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,296
at length yesterday.
92
00:03:22,321 --> 00:03:24,641
And I maintain there are no
wrong decisions around it.
93
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,302
Right, well, between you, me,
94
00:03:26,341 --> 00:03:27,510
and my American Girl doll's uterus,
95
00:03:27,534 --> 00:03:28,727
we have a problem
96
00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,407
with Lester from sales.
97
00:03:30,452 --> 00:03:31,782
Why? He's been here 30 years.
98
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:34,561
He can't learn our new computers.
99
00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:38,087
Look, maybe you could, um, coach him.
100
00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,913
I could certainly try.
101
00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:42,058
Thanks. I really don't want
to have to let Lester go.
102
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,226
The world is cruel enough.
103
00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:46,532
Thank God Bitty Baby
can't have children.
104
00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:54,496
You didn't finish.
105
00:03:54,497 --> 00:03:57,467
- Oh, I got it.
- No, no, no, no. Let me.
106
00:03:57,492 --> 00:03:58,841
It'll just be faster if I do it.
107
00:03:58,866 --> 00:04:00,380
Then we can walk the dogs
and come home in time
108
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:01,655
to watch Samantha Bee.
109
00:04:01,687 --> 00:04:02,942
As erotic a scenario
110
00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:05,053
as you've just painted
with your word pictures,
111
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,638
I miss when we started going out
and I would get you off myself.
112
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:11,203
Okay. We'll take the long way home.
113
00:04:23,202 --> 00:04:25,122
I know how to do this.
Why isn't it working?
114
00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:26,999
I don't know, but I think
we should cut our losses
115
00:04:27,023 --> 00:04:28,701
before any chaffing happens.
116
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,729
- I feel terrible.
- Don't feel terrible.
117
00:04:31,008 --> 00:04:32,928
Millions of women go to bed every night
118
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:34,371
without having an orgasm.
119
00:04:34,396 --> 00:04:36,191
All their husbands voted for Trump.
120
00:04:36,331 --> 00:04:37,833
At least you care.
121
00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:40,884
Let's change the subject.
122
00:04:41,174 --> 00:04:42,166
This is what I did today.
123
00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:44,110
I went to my first AA meeting.
124
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,793
But it was just to charge my phone.
125
00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:47,027
Anyway, long story short,
126
00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:48,596
I'm addicted to my mother.
127
00:04:53,184 --> 00:04:54,538
Hello?
128
00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:56,798
Billy. It's Rucchel, your sister-in-law.
129
00:04:56,912 --> 00:04:59,366
Thanks for narrowing down all
the Rucchels in my life.
130
00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:01,592
It's 6:00 a. M. Why are you calling me?
131
00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:04,287
There were noises in the house
all night and I don't feel safe.
132
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,089
Garry is still in Israel, so
it's just me and the girls.
133
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:08,572
Please come!
134
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,765
Hi, Rucchel. Why am I here?
135
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:12,948
What do you want from me, and
how long is it going to take?
136
00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:15,309
The answer to all your
questions is shut the fuck up.
137
00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,760
Where do you have to be,
a loser convention?
138
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,814
Okay. So, what's happening?
139
00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,456
There are noises in the house?
140
00:05:21,481 --> 00:05:23,848
I'm sure it's the new
neighbors across the street.
141
00:05:24,093 --> 00:05:26,396
They're the first gentiles
ever to live on Feldshuh Lane,
142
00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:28,049
and I think they're
trying to mess with us.
143
00:05:28,073 --> 00:05:29,402
By doing what, exactly?
144
00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:31,512
They come in at night,
move things around,
145
00:05:31,537 --> 00:05:33,164
don't take anything, and then leave.
146
00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:35,244
It's called "creepy crawling."
147
00:05:35,574 --> 00:05:37,994
- I'm going home.
- No, you're not.
148
00:05:37,995 --> 00:05:39,894
You're gonna back me up while
I scream at those goyim
149
00:05:39,918 --> 00:05:41,754
until they go back to Marblehead.
150
00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:43,030
They could have guns.
151
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:44,757
Or Polo mallets.
152
00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,792
Uncle Billy, please don't
let her do anything.
153
00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:47,890
She's going to embarrass us.
154
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,752
Shut the fuck up, Tal! I am not.
155
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,926
Hey, you Christmas celebrators!
156
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:57,020
Stop creeping crawling, and
get out of our neighborhood!
157
00:05:57,074 --> 00:05:59,036
Sorry! Don't mind her!
158
00:05:59,144 --> 00:06:02,208
No, you know, Jews,
we're the same as you.
159
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,362
No. We've suffered a lot more.
160
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,989
No! We've all suffered!
161
00:06:07,023 --> 00:06:09,217
Shut up, Billy. Get back in the house.
162
00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:15,487
So Rucchel is the first Jew
these neighbors have ever met?
163
00:06:15,512 --> 00:06:17,139
She's not a great ambassador.
164
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,534
Julie, I had to run across
the street and apologize
165
00:06:19,559 --> 00:06:23,191
to these poor Presbyterians
from Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
166
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,427
- That can't be a real place.
- Yes.
167
00:06:25,568 --> 00:06:27,375
Do you think Eureka Springs
is named after the first girl
168
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:28,439
who ever squirted?
169
00:06:28,464 --> 00:06:30,695
Clumsy transition, but topic adjacent...
170
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,141
- Okay.
- Arthur is no longer okay
171
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,080
with the conclusion of
our sexual routine.
172
00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,191
- He can't cum?
- He can't make me cum.
173
00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:39,165
But I can make me cum, which is fine.
174
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,491
The point is, everybody's cuming!
175
00:06:40,515 --> 00:06:42,673
Sounds like an episode
of "Californication."
176
00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:44,617
- What's the problem?
- He's taking it personally
177
00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:45,768
and he's become obsessed
178
00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,133
with doing it for me.
179
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,022
It's well-intentioned but exhausting.
180
00:06:49,047 --> 00:06:50,456
Like Tim Robbins.
181
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,977
But I don't get it. Why
is it so complicated?
182
00:06:53,002 --> 00:06:54,450
It's not, and I hate when people say
183
00:06:54,475 --> 00:06:56,525
that giving a woman an
orgasm is complicated.
184
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,345
It's not a circuit board.
185
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,218
It's a series of mechanical actions
186
00:07:00,243 --> 00:07:01,828
that you learn and repeat.
187
00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:04,570
The problem is, I think my code changed.
188
00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:06,598
But I thought you said
it's not a circuit board.
189
00:07:06,696 --> 00:07:09,327
It's not; It's more
like a combination lock
190
00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:10,655
or a PlayStation controller.
191
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,995
It's a sure thing.
192
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:14,440
Up, up, down, down, left, left, right,
193
00:07:14,465 --> 00:07:17,737
up, down, long diagonal, long
stroke, punch, game over.
194
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:19,448
- Punch?
- Punch.
195
00:07:19,509 --> 00:07:20,537
Mazel tov.
196
00:07:20,562 --> 00:07:22,440
Well, I don't get it. So
what's different now?
197
00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:24,730
After three failed attempts
at breaking the new code,
198
00:07:24,755 --> 00:07:27,020
I think my vagina locked Arthur out.
199
00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:29,907
Oh, no. Your pussy got
a stronger password.
200
00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:31,727
Are we talking about code changes?
201
00:07:32,142 --> 00:07:34,103
Mine changes every day.
202
00:07:34,128 --> 00:07:36,340
Sometimes it's four strokes and a yank,
203
00:07:36,431 --> 00:07:39,353
sometimes just a couple
of toes up my asshole.
204
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,400
Oh, God, the male organ is
a complicated wonderland.
205
00:07:42,425 --> 00:07:44,765
Did I just overhear a
conversation about your dull,
206
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,587
hetero/homonormative sex lives?
207
00:07:46,612 --> 00:07:50,380
Yes, Lola Falana! Drag them!
208
00:07:50,405 --> 00:07:51,411
Oh!
209
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:53,731
Your experience isn't worth
a hill of flickable beans.
210
00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:56,142
If you had half a brain
in that red Bozo wig,
211
00:07:56,224 --> 00:07:58,812
you would know there are
a million ways to cum.
212
00:07:58,837 --> 00:08:01,078
You're only using ten
percent of your pussy.
213
00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:04,126
Call me when you're ready
to be "Limitless."
214
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,939
Oh, hi, Mama D.
215
00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:08,553
You look cute. You all
dressed up for Nate's return
216
00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:09,912
from Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp?
217
00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:13,061
Yes, and now that he got that
silly little rock and roll phase
218
00:08:13,086 --> 00:08:15,841
out of his system, we
can put it behind us.
219
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:22,681
Oh, God, no.
220
00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:24,452
Red Band Trailer, I'm working late.
221
00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:26,516
I have to save an old man
from becoming redundant.
222
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,977
Arthur, you're not redundant.
223
00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,802
Orgasms are just faster and
easier if I do them myself.
224
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:32,341
That isn't what I was talking about,
225
00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:33,396
but thank you for reinforcing
226
00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:35,297
my sexual failure on my work phone.
227
00:08:35,488 --> 00:08:37,448
Oh, shit, I gotta go. My
mom's on the other line.
228
00:08:37,676 --> 00:08:39,471
Can I call you back? I've
gotten, like, seven texts
229
00:08:39,495 --> 00:08:41,290
from her that say "Emergency."
230
00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:43,374
Emergency, Julie. Emergency.
231
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,284
I need you here right now.
232
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:48,267
I'm at Saks, and everything
my personal shopper
233
00:08:48,292 --> 00:08:50,530
picked out for me is way too boxy.
234
00:08:50,555 --> 00:08:52,183
Is she trying to sabotage me?
235
00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:53,709
Does she think I'm ten
years older than I am?
236
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,363
You know what, Mom, I'll
call you right back.
237
00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:56,389
Julie?
238
00:08:58,821 --> 00:09:00,322
Hey, uh, Vanessa?
239
00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,770
This is Julie from the AA meeting.
240
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:04,641
Listen, I need your help.
241
00:09:04,742 --> 00:09:06,890
The bottle is calling.
242
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,666
Rucchel, you have to stop calling me.
243
00:09:10,881 --> 00:09:14,883
Oh, I'm sorry my terror
is inconveniencing you,
244
00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:16,405
you selfish son of a bitch.
245
00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,026
It's a good thing your
parents are already dead,
246
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,195
because if they saw how you
treat your only sister-in-law,
247
00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:21,519
it would fucking kill them.
248
00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,166
Oh, please, Rucchel.
My parents hated you.
249
00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:25,571
You know that. They were just happy
250
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,157
that Garry could lose his virginity.
251
00:09:27,182 --> 00:09:28,274
Exactly.
252
00:09:28,299 --> 00:09:31,187
I took one for the team;
Now it's your turn.
253
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,716
Go check the basement.
254
00:09:33,905 --> 00:09:35,397
What if it's not creepy crawlers?
255
00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:37,777
For all I know, there could
be a dybbuk down there.
256
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,122
Oh, really, Rucchel? A dybbuk?
257
00:09:40,402 --> 00:09:42,996
A Yiddish demon is haunting
your water heater?
258
00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:48,214
Okay, I heard that.
259
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:49,403
Uh...
260
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:52,787
Stay here.
261
00:10:10,328 --> 00:10:11,537
Garry!
262
00:10:11,562 --> 00:10:13,831
Billy? Thank God.
263
00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:15,539
The Israeli Army doesn't want me,
264
00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:18,695
so I've been hiding out under here.
265
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,352
Could you please get me
crackers and some clean socks?
266
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,663
Garry, what the fuck is wrong with you?
267
00:10:25,664 --> 00:10:27,979
What did you do to get yourself
kicked out of the Israeli Army?
268
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,288
No, I didn't get kicked out.
269
00:10:29,313 --> 00:10:32,925
I... I never even made it
past the Tel Aviv airport.
270
00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:34,664
I got there and they took my vitals;
271
00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:37,319
They said my Dramamine
levels were too high
272
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:38,845
and then they just sent me home.
273
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:40,627
I begged them to let it wear off,
274
00:10:40,652 --> 00:10:43,533
but they just threw some oranges at me.
275
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:45,352
What the hell is going on down there?
276
00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:47,901
Oh, nothing, Rucchel! Stay up there!
277
00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:49,294
- Garry, this is so...
- I know, I know.
278
00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:52,034
It's pathetic and stupid.
I know, I know.
279
00:10:52,059 --> 00:10:54,479
I just feel so ashamed with
Rucchel and the girls,
280
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,082
so I've just been hiding out down here
281
00:10:56,107 --> 00:10:57,922
and just sneaking up at night.
282
00:10:57,947 --> 00:10:59,311
You're living down here?
283
00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:02,087
This is like "Room" if that
abuser had kept kosher.
284
00:11:02,112 --> 00:11:03,702
What the fuck is wrong with you?
285
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,708
How long have you been
living on fucking crackers
286
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:06,940
and basement air?
287
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,658
Oh, I don't know. I mean...
288
00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:11,565
I think a couple of days. A month.
289
00:11:11,590 --> 00:11:13,165
- What?
- Here's the thing,
290
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:14,906
I'm scheduled to come home soon,
291
00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:16,370
so if I could pull it off,
292
00:11:16,395 --> 00:11:18,708
I have, you know, one of
those really great, like,
293
00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:19,895
heroes welcomes.
294
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,338
You ever see those YouTube videos
295
00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:22,689
of soldiers coming home
296
00:11:22,811 --> 00:11:24,731
and those dogs don't even
consider biting them?
297
00:11:24,838 --> 00:11:26,256
I want that with Rucchel.
298
00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:27,703
What the fuck is wrong with you?
299
00:11:27,727 --> 00:11:28,770
Living down here,
running around the dark
300
00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:29,817
with your little lantern
301
00:11:29,842 --> 00:11:31,469
like you're fucking Ichabod Crane.
302
00:11:31,494 --> 00:11:33,421
Your wife thinks that your house
303
00:11:33,446 --> 00:11:35,826
is haunted by a dybbuk, okay?
304
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:37,924
I'm not gonna be part of this.
305
00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:39,418
I understand. You don't wanna help.
306
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,030
And I wouldn't either.
307
00:11:42,055 --> 00:11:44,809
I'll just continue
living under the stairs.
308
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,732
God damn it, Garry.
309
00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:58,244
Rucchel. You've got a dybbuk.
310
00:12:00,347 --> 00:12:02,126
So now I have to stage an exorcism
311
00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,611
so that Garry can pretend to
come home from the Israeli Army
312
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,460
in time for Rucchel to believe
that her home is dybbuk-free.
313
00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:08,820
Perfect. Meanwhile,
314
00:12:08,855 --> 00:12:11,728
Arthur is holding me hostage to
an orgasm of his own making.
315
00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:13,555
He asked me to block out
three hours tonight.
316
00:12:13,615 --> 00:12:15,656
There's nothing hotter than
reserving the amount of time
317
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,215
it would take to watch "The Hobbit"
318
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,243
for your lover to insist
on pleasuring you.
319
00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:20,868
I know; I feel like I'm
about to be subjected
320
00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:22,769
to some kind of clitoral fracking.
321
00:12:22,794 --> 00:12:25,174
Hey, hey, hey. How's it
going, New York City?
322
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:26,450
We are Order's Up.
323
00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:28,677
We're all over 40, we
all own restaurants,
324
00:12:28,702 --> 00:12:31,411
and we met at Rock N' Roll Fantasy Camp.
325
00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:34,316
This is an extremely slow
version of "Surfin' Bird."
326
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,052
One, two, three.
327
00:12:36,077 --> 00:12:39,291
♪ Well, everybody's
heard about the bird ♪
328
00:12:39,812 --> 00:12:41,176
Jesus Christ.
329
00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:42,877
We've only been parents for six months
330
00:12:42,902 --> 00:12:45,155
and he's already going
through a mid-life crisis.
331
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:46,542
♪ Bird, bird, bird ♪
332
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:48,118
Hey, hold on, guys. I'm a
little bit out of tune.
333
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,728
Hold on. ♪ Bird ♪
334
00:12:49,753 --> 00:12:52,883
♪ Bird, bird, bird ♪
335
00:12:52,908 --> 00:12:55,203
This is some straight-up Tim Allen shit.
336
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:57,816
"How to Exorcise a Dybbuk."
337
00:12:57,841 --> 00:13:00,469
The unloved spinoff to "How
To Train Your Dragon."
338
00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:02,652
Step 1. Assemble a Minyan.
339
00:13:02,677 --> 00:13:04,091
Like those little yellow idiots?
340
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,821
Billy, if you make one
more goddamn quip,
341
00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:09,226
I will punch you so hard, your
stubble will fall to the floor
342
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,974
like you're in a fucking cartoon.
343
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,346
Note taken.
344
00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:14,833
A minyan is a prayer
group of ten Jewish Men
345
00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:16,903
who have all been Bar-Mitzvah'ed.
346
00:13:16,928 --> 00:13:18,900
Well, this neighborhood
is notably Jewladen.
347
00:13:18,925 --> 00:13:20,725
I mean, we could just
knock on doors and ask.
348
00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:22,089
Are you out of your mind?
349
00:13:22,114 --> 00:13:23,922
I don't want my neighbors
to know I have a dybbuk.
350
00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:25,490
Whenever I need a guy on short notice,
351
00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:27,977
I just use RentB... I mean, Tinder.
352
00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,529
That's it!
353
00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,576
We'll recruit our Minyan from J-Swipe!
354
00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:33,803
Isn't J-Swipe how you
teach girls to wipe?
355
00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:36,344
Front to back in the shape
of an upper case J?
356
00:13:36,369 --> 00:13:37,911
Why do you know that?
357
00:13:38,082 --> 00:13:40,514
No. J-Swipe is Jewish Tinder.
358
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,625
- There's Jewish Tinder?
- Yes.
359
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,403
We'll create a fake profile
360
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:45,777
for the ultimate Jewish girl.
361
00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:47,763
Yes! I like that.
362
00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:50,000
Image search "Brandeis."
363
00:13:51,325 --> 00:13:55,123
Yes, those photos are from the
Jewish A Capella championships.
364
00:13:55,297 --> 00:13:57,802
- The Jew-Wops.
- Hello, gorgeous.
365
00:13:57,827 --> 00:13:59,037
Bye bye, Dybbuk.
366
00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:00,695
What should we say?
367
00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:04,448
"My breasts are as heavy and dense
368
00:14:04,473 --> 00:14:08,069
"as two garbage bags full of marbles,
369
00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:12,963
and I have the flattest,
widest ass you've ever seen."
370
00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,524
"- When I'm not drinking iced tea
371
00:14:15,549 --> 00:14:17,761
"in an air-conditioned restaurant,
372
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,387
"I'm praying to Hashem
373
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:24,035
"to send me a man who will
share with me his opinions
374
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:29,123
on everything from Bob
Dylan to Philip Roth."
375
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,384
Ooh.
376
00:14:34,844 --> 00:14:36,555
That was "The Braille Wishbone."
377
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:44,820
"The Morse Code Noose" combined with.
378
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:46,096
"Reach for the rest
of the peanut butter"
379
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,371
"under the life of the jar."
380
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,345
Oh, really?
381
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,820
No luck with "The
Double-Handed Vulcan Salute"?
382
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:58,004
Okay. Drumroll please.
383
00:14:58,117 --> 00:15:00,328
"The Other Becky From 'Roseanne.'"
384
00:15:00,353 --> 00:15:01,552
Ah!
385
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,424
I've got some disappointing news.
386
00:15:07,565 --> 00:15:10,836
My entire doll collection
committed suicide last night.
387
00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,011
I'm sorry for your loss.
388
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,791
And since you started
working with Lester,
389
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,856
he's actually started forgetting things
390
00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:19,715
he used to know how to do.
391
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:20,789
So, I'm sorry, Arthur,
392
00:15:20,814 --> 00:15:22,496
but it's time to let Lester go.
393
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,151
He's just completely useless.
394
00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:27,214
Or maybe...
395
00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:29,116
the problem isn't Lester.
396
00:15:29,611 --> 00:15:31,405
Maybe the software has changed!
397
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,948
Give him one more chance!
398
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,770
Not the right time, Arthur!
399
00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:39,891
Call me when you've found
45 dolls in an oven.
400
00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:43,080
Uh, God damn it, Lester.
401
00:15:43,112 --> 00:15:44,535
I don't need to watch you fumble around
402
00:15:44,559 --> 00:15:46,765
like Ronald Reagan in... either term.
403
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:48,459
Okay, click on the file.
404
00:15:48,484 --> 00:15:49,610
Click on the folder.
405
00:15:49,635 --> 00:15:51,096
Okay? Try it.
406
00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:53,439
Folder, fi... no, stop!
407
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,705
Just easier if I do it myself.
408
00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:57,006
Hey J-Swipers.
409
00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:59,136
Debbie, the Jewish girl
that you matched with,
410
00:15:59,161 --> 00:16:00,496
she'll be down in a second.
411
00:16:00,521 --> 00:16:01,964
She's just diffusing her hair.
412
00:16:01,989 --> 00:16:03,825
I know how long diffusing takes.
413
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,267
Curly hair is a whole thing
if you don't want frizz.
414
00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,520
My sisters, they spend
forever in the morning.
415
00:16:06,544 --> 00:16:07,945
But I'm telling you, I've
known her since camp,
416
00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:09,229
and she's worth the wait.
417
00:16:09,254 --> 00:16:11,118
Oh, camp... that was the
happiest I was ever at.
418
00:16:11,142 --> 00:16:12,822
All my friends come from summer camp.
419
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,047
I can't wait to meet her.
420
00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:16,540
You know, Jordan and I used to
do a Capella at Camp Ramah.
421
00:16:16,702 --> 00:16:18,115
Nobody cares. Save it for Debbie.
422
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,355
She loves that shit.
423
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,714
Really? I formed a Doo Wop Group
424
00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:21,984
with my friends from Project Birthright.
425
00:16:22,008 --> 00:16:23,703
My Bar Mitzvah theme was
a three-part harmony.
426
00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,838
I started a Barbershop
Quartet on the train here.
427
00:16:25,863 --> 00:16:28,241
Was Lou Reed the last cool Jew?
428
00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:30,387
I am so glad that you reached out.
429
00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:32,791
The first step of sobriety can be scary.
430
00:16:32,816 --> 00:16:34,736
Yeah, I can see how it can be.
431
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,806
Excuse me? Can I please
see the wine list?
432
00:16:36,831 --> 00:16:38,207
- Julie.
- Fine.
433
00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:39,902
Four desserts. And surprise me.
434
00:16:39,927 --> 00:16:42,055
Julie, you were a wreck when
you called me from Saks.
435
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,460
I mean, you've got to get a
handle on these addictions.
436
00:16:45,686 --> 00:16:47,172
I love this sponsor thing.
437
00:16:47,197 --> 00:16:49,719
It's like having a friend who
never talks about herself.
438
00:16:49,744 --> 00:16:51,957
A cheese plate doesn't count.
439
00:16:51,982 --> 00:16:53,120
I'm gonna need a fifth.
440
00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:55,267
Oh, no, no, leave it, please. Thank you.
441
00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:57,917
Nancy Reagan was an
AIDS-ignoring monster.
442
00:16:58,053 --> 00:16:59,596
Tell me something I don't know.
443
00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:01,776
However, next time the bottle calls...
444
00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:04,929
- I'll just say no.
- There you go. Atta girl.
445
00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:08,893
- Oh, speak of the devil.
- Hmm?
446
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:10,545
It's the bottle calling.
447
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,614
My old drinking buddy.
448
00:17:12,639 --> 00:17:13,682
You know what to do.
449
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:15,251
I am right here for you.
450
00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:16,606
Okay.
451
00:17:16,631 --> 00:17:18,840
Hi.
452
00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:20,326
Julie, I need you to replace
453
00:17:20,351 --> 00:17:21,436
these energy-efficient lightbulbs
454
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,962
with energy-wasting ones.
455
00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:26,635
This economy lighting is aging me.
456
00:17:27,521 --> 00:17:28,608
No.
457
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:31,346
- Excuse me?
- I said no.
458
00:17:31,371 --> 00:17:33,917
I can't do it. Good-bye.
459
00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:36,654
What?
460
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,270
I'm sorry.
461
00:17:38,295 --> 00:17:40,049
Well, if I look sick,
it's because of the call
462
00:17:40,073 --> 00:17:41,408
I just had with my daughter,
463
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,712
or this bullshit Al Gore lighting.
464
00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:45,595
Anyway, catch me up.
465
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:48,457
Thanks for the meditation
app recommendation.
466
00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:52,448
Danny Aiello wasn't exactly the guide...
467
00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:54,938
Is it hot in here?
468
00:17:55,901 --> 00:17:57,610
Are you hot?
469
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,972
Uh.
470
00:17:59,004 --> 00:18:00,172
How good does that feel?
471
00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:01,607
What were we so afraid of?
472
00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:03,384
I don't know! I mean, I said no.
473
00:18:03,409 --> 00:18:05,449
Big deal; What's the worst
thing that could happen?
474
00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:11,756
- Yeah?
- I... I just called 911.
475
00:18:11,781 --> 00:18:13,742
- Ow!
- I think your mom
476
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:15,085
is having a heart attack.
477
00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:16,993
Ow!
478
00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:19,829
- You okay?
- Yeah, I think I just learned
479
00:18:19,854 --> 00:18:21,534
what the worst thing
that could happen is.
480
00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:25,170
Mom!
481
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:26,813
How did you get past the nurse?
482
00:18:26,851 --> 00:18:28,479
How could you tell her not to let me in?
483
00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:31,230
How did you give me a heart attack?
484
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,757
I did not intend to give
you a heart attack.
485
00:18:33,805 --> 00:18:35,599
I was just trying to
set some boundaries.
486
00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:38,959
Please. That's "Julie" for
you doing what you like,
487
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,015
when you like it, with no
regard for what I need.
488
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,751
All I do is regard your needs.
489
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:45,794
It's making me unhealthy.
490
00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:46,900
That's rich, Julie.
491
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,859
You're complaining about
you being unhealthy
492
00:18:48,884 --> 00:18:50,552
when I'm in a hospital bed?
493
00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:53,081
All I did was tell you
I couldn't come over
494
00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:54,150
and change all of your lightbulbs
495
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,300
within an hour's notice.
496
00:18:55,325 --> 00:18:56,786
Was it worth it, Julie?
497
00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:58,485
Was it worth it?
498
00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,263
Stop blaming me for this!
499
00:19:00,288 --> 00:19:01,999
Can you please keep it down?
500
00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:03,715
Shut up, asshole!
501
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:05,450
Before you meet Debbie,
502
00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:08,607
let's say a traditional
blessing for first dates.
503
00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:11,616
And... five, six, seven, eight.
504
00:19:11,641 --> 00:19:14,981
♪ Dybbuk, dybbuk, dybbuk,
get out of town ♪
505
00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:16,506
Good!
506
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:19,911
♪ Dybbuk, Dybbuk, Dybbuk,
don't come back around ♪
507
00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:22,054
And counter-clockwise.
508
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,492
♪ Gey avek, dyvuk ♪
509
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,228
Put some feeling into it!
510
00:19:27,324 --> 00:19:28,700
Billy, get in there.
511
00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:30,520
- No.
- Get in there, Billy!
512
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,925
Get in there. It won't work
unless ten of you do it.
513
00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:35,453
♪ Un ikh darf az du zolst gey ♪
514
00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:39,926
dybuk, di ale!
515
00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:44,305
Gey avek un kum nisht tsurik!
516
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:47,228
We don't need you here, dybbuk.
517
00:19:47,406 --> 00:19:49,534
Oh, no, not I.
518
00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,209
Rid thee, demons!
519
00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:00,856
Flee from this home!
520
00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:02,556
Flee from this home!
521
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,796
Oh, my God! Chrissy, Lexington.
522
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,764
How are you? Thank you for coming.
523
00:20:11,927 --> 00:20:15,725
A margarine casserole?
That is so sweet of you.
524
00:20:17,873 --> 00:20:20,543
Don't worry about that.
525
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,925
We're just Jews. We're just like you.
526
00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:24,271
We're not weird.
527
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:27,468
Daddy's home!
528
00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:29,569
Garry!
529
00:20:29,594 --> 00:20:31,597
Ask me about Israel.
530
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,777
Ask me about Israel!
531
00:20:36,264 --> 00:20:38,267
Get me out of here, Julie.
532
00:20:38,268 --> 00:20:41,899
Who knows what they'd do to
my bangs if I nodded off.
533
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,528
Here, let me.
534
00:20:45,614 --> 00:20:48,160
Don't forget my eyebrows.
535
00:20:48,668 --> 00:20:49,954
You know, I have in my will
536
00:20:49,979 --> 00:20:52,775
they can't bury me without
doing my eyebrows.
537
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,348
You know that video will I made
with Tina what's-her-name.
538
00:20:56,427 --> 00:21:00,100
I'm still in shock. I can't
believe you almost died.
539
00:21:00,442 --> 00:21:02,612
You know, sometimes I wonder
540
00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:05,536
if maybe that would be a relief for you.
541
00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:07,691
Are you crazy?
542
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:10,039
I can't imagine life without you.
543
00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:12,372
I'd say you're a part of me,
544
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:15,080
but sometimes I think you're most of me.
545
00:21:15,081 --> 00:21:18,754
You can't leave, Mom. I'd disappear.
546
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:23,019
Oh, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere.
547
00:21:23,555 --> 00:21:26,510
I can't imagine what life
would be without me, either.
548
00:21:28,107 --> 00:21:30,318
I'm sorry about the nurse.
549
00:21:30,319 --> 00:21:32,865
Next time I have a crisis
in the Saks dressing room,
550
00:21:32,866 --> 00:21:35,620
I think maybe I'll just send a selfie.
551
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:37,330
I'd like that.
552
00:21:37,409 --> 00:21:40,079
You know what, I do think she
was trying to sabotage you.
553
00:21:40,381 --> 00:21:42,427
- I'm not that boxy.
- Nobody is.
554
00:21:44,357 --> 00:21:47,571
- I'm exhausted.
- Me too.
555
00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:53,824
What if we both just sit here
556
00:21:53,825 --> 00:21:57,080
and we're okay with doing
absolutely nothing.
557
00:21:57,081 --> 00:21:58,751
We won't even try to do nothing.
558
00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:00,170
We'll just do nothing.
559
00:22:00,171 --> 00:22:02,717
- Yes.
- Completely.
560
00:22:08,145 --> 00:22:11,777
♪ Ease your hand ♪
561
00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:15,326
♪ Call out your name ♪
562
00:22:17,483 --> 00:22:19,041
- We did it.
- You did it.
563
00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:20,543
Thank you for letting me.
564
00:22:20,544 --> 00:22:22,255
I wonder what was different this time.
565
00:22:22,256 --> 00:22:24,551
Uh, maybe if you're turned on enough,
566
00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,182
there is no specific code.
567
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,692
Oh, shit. It's my sponsor.
Do you mind if a grab it?
568
00:22:32,693 --> 00:22:34,363
Pumpkin Seed, from now on,
569
00:22:34,364 --> 00:22:36,283
I don't mind if you grab
it or if you let me.
570
00:22:36,284 --> 00:22:39,498
As long as we're both satisfied
during and after sex,
571
00:22:39,499 --> 00:22:43,089
I'm as happy as a Jewish girl in
an air-conditioned restaurant.
572
00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:44,633
- Hey, Vanessa.
- Hey.
573
00:22:44,634 --> 00:22:45,845
I was just wondering if you're gonna
574
00:22:45,846 --> 00:22:47,055
come to the meeting tonight.
575
00:22:47,056 --> 00:22:49,143
Exactly, I'm using again.
576
00:22:49,144 --> 00:22:51,898
I tried but, I don't think
I'm ready to quit her.
577
00:22:51,899 --> 00:22:54,445
So I just put a turban on her instead,
578
00:22:54,446 --> 00:22:57,284
and now my boyfriend can make me cum.
579
00:22:57,502 --> 00:23:00,635
Okay, Julie. You're obviously wasted.
580
00:23:00,728 --> 00:23:03,367
If you need any help,
you have my number.
581
00:23:03,436 --> 00:23:06,065
Hi, I'm Vanessa. I'm an alcoholic.
582
00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:07,555
Get the hell out of my chair.
583
00:23:09,324 --> 00:23:10,825
So was the army scary?
584
00:23:10,850 --> 00:23:12,853
Oh, it sure was.
585
00:23:13,031 --> 00:23:15,886
You know, it's not so easy
living in such damp conditions.
586
00:23:15,911 --> 00:23:19,738
Eating crackers for
breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
587
00:23:19,795 --> 00:23:22,842
War, what is it good for?
588
00:23:23,051 --> 00:23:24,361
Absolutely nothing.
589
00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:26,055
What a blessing.
590
00:23:26,307 --> 00:23:30,022
Our dybbuk is gone, and
our Garry is home.
591
00:23:30,023 --> 00:23:32,818
Really great timing for
two unrelated events.
592
00:23:32,819 --> 00:23:34,057
Listen, I gotta go.
593
00:23:34,082 --> 00:23:36,753
I will see you all at the
next unpronounceable holiday.
594
00:23:37,329 --> 00:23:39,415
Billy?
595
00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:40,709
Thank you.
596
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,921
You're welcome.
597
00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:43,590
No, I mean, um,
598
00:23:43,591 --> 00:23:45,427
thank you very much.
599
00:23:45,428 --> 00:23:47,348
I salute you.
600
00:23:47,349 --> 00:23:49,477
All right. Bye, guys.
601
00:23:49,478 --> 00:23:51,857
Billy... Thank you.
602
00:23:51,858 --> 00:23:53,819
Billy...
603
00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:55,239
Thank you so much, Uncle Billy.
604
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,538
Shut the fuck up, Tal.
605
00:23:56,563 --> 00:23:58,621
The first fucking time in
your life you say thank you,
606
00:23:58,645 --> 00:23:59,896
and it has to be now?
607
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:01,544
- I'm just sorry you...
- You don't even know
608
00:24:01,568 --> 00:24:03,023
what the fuck you're thanking him for.
609
00:24:03,047 --> 00:24:04,842
All right, okay.
610
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,805
Hey, so is Debbie almost ready yet?
611
00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:10,979
Hey! How's it going?
612
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:12,481
Hello, everybody!
613
00:24:12,482 --> 00:24:14,465
Lookin' good. Up top.
614
00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:16,606
Yeah! Whoo!
615
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,925
Lester, just the man I wanted to see.
616
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,809
You're fired. Clean out your desk.
617
00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:23,304
All right, Gabby. Gabby,
Gabby, Gabby, Gabby.
618
00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:25,494
I don't know how. I don't know how.
619
00:24:25,519 --> 00:24:27,897
Okay, PBS, baby! Yeah.
620
00:24:27,981 --> 00:24:30,068
Making TV.
621
00:24:32,147 --> 00:24:33,774
Thank you. Thank you very much.
622
00:24:33,775 --> 00:24:35,486
These guys make the
Rock Bottom Remainders
623
00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:38,033
look like... well, no, they suck also.
624
00:24:38,034 --> 00:24:39,482
We're also taking requests.
625
00:24:39,507 --> 00:24:41,802
Oh, I'd like to retroactively
request the night off.
626
00:24:41,827 --> 00:24:43,078
No.
627
00:24:43,203 --> 00:24:44,371
He's getting better.
628
00:24:44,396 --> 00:24:46,149
Matthew, he is damn not.
629
00:24:46,629 --> 00:24:47,836
This is a nightmare.
630
00:24:47,948 --> 00:24:50,076
Oh, well, what if you
took your baby back
631
00:24:50,194 --> 00:24:52,322
to the adoption agency, got rid of it?
632
00:24:52,437 --> 00:24:53,898
You know, put the focus back on Matthew?
633
00:24:53,899 --> 00:24:55,734
All right, listen up, Sheeple!
634
00:24:55,735 --> 00:24:58,802
I'm Lola, and I'm the newest
member of Order's Up.
635
00:24:58,902 --> 00:25:00,912
This is a real song you
can find on YouTube,
636
00:25:00,913 --> 00:25:02,706
called "Building Seven."
637
00:25:02,707 --> 00:25:04,252
Three, four...
638
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:06,548
Oh!
639
00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:09,178
♪ Thought it'd be easy ♪
640
00:25:09,179 --> 00:25:11,766
♪ Thought they didn't know ♪
641
00:25:11,767 --> 00:25:15,607
♪ You thought it was
the only way to go ♪
642
00:25:17,112 --> 00:25:19,198
♪ Another way out ♪
643
00:25:19,199 --> 00:25:21,954
♪ Found on the way home ♪
644
00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:23,456
♪ Thought you were living fast ♪
645
00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:26,504
♪ But you were living slow ♪
646
00:25:33,868 --> 00:25:38,868
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.MY-SUBS.com
47342
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