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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,027 --> 00:00:03,953 Finally, somewhere we can charge our phones 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,134 without having to buy anything. 3 00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:07,704 I know. Thank God. Literally! 4 00:00:08,231 --> 00:00:11,528 The problem is, if my mom calls when my phone is dead, 5 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,723 she gets mad she can't reach me and it activates 6 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:14,760 the guilt sequence. 7 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,244 Well, she may be the trigger, 8 00:00:16,452 --> 00:00:17,997 but you're the one omitting those... 9 00:00:18,232 --> 00:00:20,735 Wait. What's the opposite of endorphins? 10 00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:21,859 Judaism. 11 00:00:21,884 --> 00:00:24,712 She just keeps calling me to ask me to do stupid things, 12 00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:26,612 and I feel guilty, so I say yes, 13 00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:27,965 and then I feel like shit, 14 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,586 and then we start the whole thing from the top. 15 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,698 A-5, 6, 7, 8. 16 00:00:30,723 --> 00:00:33,529 You know, there is not a single fucking outlet here. 17 00:00:33,554 --> 00:00:36,017 I know! What is this place even good for? 18 00:00:37,195 --> 00:00:39,282 Does anybody work here? 19 00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,763 Finally an electrical outlet. 20 00:00:46,409 --> 00:00:48,467 Make room for Mommy. 21 00:00:48,558 --> 00:00:50,147 Uh, hey. 22 00:00:50,257 --> 00:00:52,845 - Oh, shit. - Oh, sorry. So sorry. 23 00:00:52,973 --> 00:00:54,558 Thank you. 24 00:00:54,779 --> 00:00:57,461 Hi. Um, Vanessa. I'm an alcoholic. 25 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,830 - Is this sitcomy? - Not if we're respectful. 26 00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:02,750 I repeat behaviors that hurt me, 27 00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:05,452 and then I feel really bad about myself. 28 00:01:05,477 --> 00:01:07,939 That sounds just like me and my mom. 29 00:01:08,557 --> 00:01:10,115 Oh, shit, Billy. I'm at 1%. 30 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,060 This is gonna take forever to charge. 31 00:01:12,465 --> 00:01:14,384 Let's stay for the meeting. 32 00:01:14,385 --> 00:01:15,631 Keep coming back. 33 00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:19,453 It works if you work it, so work it; You're worth it. 34 00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:21,656 Thank you very much. Thanks, everybody. 35 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,791 Thank you. 36 00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:25,484 Clapping? Why are they clapping? 37 00:01:25,509 --> 00:01:27,300 That guy over there was barely phoning it in. 38 00:01:27,324 --> 00:01:29,374 Hi. I'm Vanessa. Welcome. 39 00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:30,654 - Hi. - I'm a hugger. 40 00:01:30,679 --> 00:01:31,920 Oh. Hello. 41 00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:33,071 I'm Julie. I'm not. 42 00:01:33,096 --> 00:01:34,061 Oh, okay. Hi... 43 00:01:34,086 --> 00:01:35,672 - I just sanitized my hands. - Okay. 44 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,140 Is this your first time in a meeting? 45 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,324 - Yeah. - Yeah. 46 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,392 I have to say, what you were yammering on about earlier 47 00:01:41,416 --> 00:01:43,121 really resonated with me. 48 00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:44,654 Listen, if you ever need anybody to talk to, 49 00:01:44,678 --> 00:01:46,306 please, don't hesitate to call me. 50 00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:48,704 Oh, I'm into dudes. 51 00:01:49,278 --> 00:01:51,402 I wasn't coming on to you. Just sobriety. 52 00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:53,305 - Oh. Okay. - Okay? 53 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:54,824 Thanks a lot. And good luck. 54 00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,926 - Oh, I don't need good luck. - Hmm? 55 00:01:56,997 --> 00:01:59,293 - 'Cause I have a boyfriend. - Oh, he's gay. 56 00:01:59,404 --> 00:02:01,055 No, no, no. He's not my boyfriend. 57 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,166 My boyfriend's way more feminine. 58 00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:08,195 Mom, what's going on? I'm on a deadline. 59 00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,099 Netflix just dropped 1,700 episodes of "The Ranch" 60 00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,961 on their poor subscribers overnight. 61 00:02:12,986 --> 00:02:14,822 Julie, I believe that my dentist 62 00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:17,786 is trimming my bangs while I'm asleep in his chair. 63 00:02:19,614 --> 00:02:22,285 - Mom, no. - Julie, yes. 64 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:25,859 I had a hunch, so I scheduled a superfluous teeth whitening. 65 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,218 And look at these selfies. 66 00:02:27,371 --> 00:02:28,870 These are before and after. 67 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,440 This is the before. 68 00:02:30,494 --> 00:02:32,539 And this is the after. 69 00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:34,364 No, wait. That's a mistake. 70 00:02:34,961 --> 00:02:36,851 That's right. This is the befo... 71 00:02:36,922 --> 00:02:38,495 Oh, my God, what's wrong with me? 72 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,147 Why do I keep coming back for this? 73 00:02:40,172 --> 00:02:42,860 Julie, somebody could be collecting my DNA 74 00:02:42,885 --> 00:02:45,834 or they could be making a wig from my bangs very slowly. 75 00:02:45,859 --> 00:02:47,402 After all I do for you, 76 00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,756 you can't give me ten minutes of your life. 77 00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:52,216 Okay, fine. I'm sorry. 78 00:02:53,077 --> 00:02:56,049 Besides, staring at your hair is still more interesting 79 00:02:56,074 --> 00:02:57,768 than watching Ashton Kutcher and Sam Elliott 80 00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:00,212 clash worldviews in front of a live studio audience. 81 00:03:00,462 --> 00:03:02,788 I think the one on the right your bangs look shorter. 82 00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:04,588 I knew it! That's the one. 83 00:03:04,613 --> 00:03:06,616 What a creep he is. 84 00:03:06,641 --> 00:03:08,165 Oh, Julie, while you're here, 85 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,780 I need you to partially clog the drain in my bathtub 86 00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:13,770 so that when I take a shower, my feet stay warm. 87 00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,646 Arthur, close the door. I have sort of an awkward 88 00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:18,132 subject to discuss. 89 00:03:18,228 --> 00:03:19,943 Gabby, you've told me about your favorite 90 00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:21,302 American Girl doll's hysterectomy 91 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,296 at length yesterday. 92 00:03:22,321 --> 00:03:24,641 And I maintain there are no wrong decisions around it. 93 00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,302 Right, well, between you, me, 94 00:03:26,341 --> 00:03:27,510 and my American Girl doll's uterus, 95 00:03:27,534 --> 00:03:28,727 we have a problem 96 00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,407 with Lester from sales. 97 00:03:30,452 --> 00:03:31,782 Why? He's been here 30 years. 98 00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:34,561 He can't learn our new computers. 99 00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:38,087 Look, maybe you could, um, coach him. 100 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,913 I could certainly try. 101 00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:42,058 Thanks. I really don't want to have to let Lester go. 102 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,226 The world is cruel enough. 103 00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:46,532 Thank God Bitty Baby can't have children. 104 00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:54,496 You didn't finish. 105 00:03:54,497 --> 00:03:57,467 - Oh, I got it. - No, no, no, no. Let me. 106 00:03:57,492 --> 00:03:58,841 It'll just be faster if I do it. 107 00:03:58,866 --> 00:04:00,380 Then we can walk the dogs and come home in time 108 00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:01,655 to watch Samantha Bee. 109 00:04:01,687 --> 00:04:02,942 As erotic a scenario 110 00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:05,053 as you've just painted with your word pictures, 111 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,638 I miss when we started going out and I would get you off myself. 112 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:11,203 Okay. We'll take the long way home. 113 00:04:23,202 --> 00:04:25,122 I know how to do this. Why isn't it working? 114 00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:26,999 I don't know, but I think we should cut our losses 115 00:04:27,023 --> 00:04:28,701 before any chaffing happens. 116 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,729 - I feel terrible. - Don't feel terrible. 117 00:04:31,008 --> 00:04:32,928 Millions of women go to bed every night 118 00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:34,371 without having an orgasm. 119 00:04:34,396 --> 00:04:36,191 All their husbands voted for Trump. 120 00:04:36,331 --> 00:04:37,833 At least you care. 121 00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:40,884 Let's change the subject. 122 00:04:41,174 --> 00:04:42,166 This is what I did today. 123 00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:44,110 I went to my first AA meeting. 124 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,793 But it was just to charge my phone. 125 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:47,027 Anyway, long story short, 126 00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:48,596 I'm addicted to my mother. 127 00:04:53,184 --> 00:04:54,538 Hello? 128 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:56,798 Billy. It's Rucchel, your sister-in-law. 129 00:04:56,912 --> 00:04:59,366 Thanks for narrowing down all the Rucchels in my life. 130 00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:01,592 It's 6:00 a. M. Why are you calling me? 131 00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:04,287 There were noises in the house all night and I don't feel safe. 132 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,089 Garry is still in Israel, so it's just me and the girls. 133 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:08,572 Please come! 134 00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,765 Hi, Rucchel. Why am I here? 135 00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:12,948 What do you want from me, and how long is it going to take? 136 00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:15,309 The answer to all your questions is shut the fuck up. 137 00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,760 Where do you have to be, a loser convention? 138 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,814 Okay. So, what's happening? 139 00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,456 There are noises in the house? 140 00:05:21,481 --> 00:05:23,848 I'm sure it's the new neighbors across the street. 141 00:05:24,093 --> 00:05:26,396 They're the first gentiles ever to live on Feldshuh Lane, 142 00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:28,049 and I think they're trying to mess with us. 143 00:05:28,073 --> 00:05:29,402 By doing what, exactly? 144 00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:31,512 They come in at night, move things around, 145 00:05:31,537 --> 00:05:33,164 don't take anything, and then leave. 146 00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:35,244 It's called "creepy crawling." 147 00:05:35,574 --> 00:05:37,994 - I'm going home. - No, you're not. 148 00:05:37,995 --> 00:05:39,894 You're gonna back me up while I scream at those goyim 149 00:05:39,918 --> 00:05:41,754 until they go back to Marblehead. 150 00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:43,030 They could have guns. 151 00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:44,757 Or Polo mallets. 152 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,792 Uncle Billy, please don't let her do anything. 153 00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:47,890 She's going to embarrass us. 154 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,752 Shut the fuck up, Tal! I am not. 155 00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,926 Hey, you Christmas celebrators! 156 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:57,020 Stop creeping crawling, and get out of our neighborhood! 157 00:05:57,074 --> 00:05:59,036 Sorry! Don't mind her! 158 00:05:59,144 --> 00:06:02,208 No, you know, Jews, we're the same as you. 159 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,362 No. We've suffered a lot more. 160 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,989 No! We've all suffered! 161 00:06:07,023 --> 00:06:09,217 Shut up, Billy. Get back in the house. 162 00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:15,487 So Rucchel is the first Jew these neighbors have ever met? 163 00:06:15,512 --> 00:06:17,139 She's not a great ambassador. 164 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,534 Julie, I had to run across the street and apologize 165 00:06:19,559 --> 00:06:23,191 to these poor Presbyterians from Eureka Springs, Arkansas. 166 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,427 - That can't be a real place. - Yes. 167 00:06:25,568 --> 00:06:27,375 Do you think Eureka Springs is named after the first girl 168 00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:28,439 who ever squirted? 169 00:06:28,464 --> 00:06:30,695 Clumsy transition, but topic adjacent... 170 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,141 - Okay. - Arthur is no longer okay 171 00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,080 with the conclusion of our sexual routine. 172 00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,191 - He can't cum? - He can't make me cum. 173 00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:39,165 But I can make me cum, which is fine. 174 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,491 The point is, everybody's cuming! 175 00:06:40,515 --> 00:06:42,673 Sounds like an episode of "Californication." 176 00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:44,617 - What's the problem? - He's taking it personally 177 00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:45,768 and he's become obsessed 178 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,133 with doing it for me. 179 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,022 It's well-intentioned but exhausting. 180 00:06:49,047 --> 00:06:50,456 Like Tim Robbins. 181 00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,977 But I don't get it. Why is it so complicated? 182 00:06:53,002 --> 00:06:54,450 It's not, and I hate when people say 183 00:06:54,475 --> 00:06:56,525 that giving a woman an orgasm is complicated. 184 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,345 It's not a circuit board. 185 00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,218 It's a series of mechanical actions 186 00:07:00,243 --> 00:07:01,828 that you learn and repeat. 187 00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:04,570 The problem is, I think my code changed. 188 00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:06,598 But I thought you said it's not a circuit board. 189 00:07:06,696 --> 00:07:09,327 It's not; It's more like a combination lock 190 00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:10,655 or a PlayStation controller. 191 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,995 It's a sure thing. 192 00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:14,440 Up, up, down, down, left, left, right, 193 00:07:14,465 --> 00:07:17,737 up, down, long diagonal, long stroke, punch, game over. 194 00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:19,448 - Punch? - Punch. 195 00:07:19,509 --> 00:07:20,537 Mazel tov. 196 00:07:20,562 --> 00:07:22,440 Well, I don't get it. So what's different now? 197 00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:24,730 After three failed attempts at breaking the new code, 198 00:07:24,755 --> 00:07:27,020 I think my vagina locked Arthur out. 199 00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:29,907 Oh, no. Your pussy got a stronger password. 200 00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:31,727 Are we talking about code changes? 201 00:07:32,142 --> 00:07:34,103 Mine changes every day. 202 00:07:34,128 --> 00:07:36,340 Sometimes it's four strokes and a yank, 203 00:07:36,431 --> 00:07:39,353 sometimes just a couple of toes up my asshole. 204 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,400 Oh, God, the male organ is a complicated wonderland. 205 00:07:42,425 --> 00:07:44,765 Did I just overhear a conversation about your dull, 206 00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,587 hetero/homonormative sex lives? 207 00:07:46,612 --> 00:07:50,380 Yes, Lola Falana! Drag them! 208 00:07:50,405 --> 00:07:51,411 Oh! 209 00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:53,731 Your experience isn't worth a hill of flickable beans. 210 00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:56,142 If you had half a brain in that red Bozo wig, 211 00:07:56,224 --> 00:07:58,812 you would know there are a million ways to cum. 212 00:07:58,837 --> 00:08:01,078 You're only using ten percent of your pussy. 213 00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:04,126 Call me when you're ready to be "Limitless." 214 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,939 Oh, hi, Mama D. 215 00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:08,553 You look cute. You all dressed up for Nate's return 216 00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:09,912 from Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp? 217 00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:13,061 Yes, and now that he got that silly little rock and roll phase 218 00:08:13,086 --> 00:08:15,841 out of his system, we can put it behind us. 219 00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:22,681 Oh, God, no. 220 00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:24,452 Red Band Trailer, I'm working late. 221 00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:26,516 I have to save an old man from becoming redundant. 222 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,977 Arthur, you're not redundant. 223 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,802 Orgasms are just faster and easier if I do them myself. 224 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:32,341 That isn't what I was talking about, 225 00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:33,396 but thank you for reinforcing 226 00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:35,297 my sexual failure on my work phone. 227 00:08:35,488 --> 00:08:37,448 Oh, shit, I gotta go. My mom's on the other line. 228 00:08:37,676 --> 00:08:39,471 Can I call you back? I've gotten, like, seven texts 229 00:08:39,495 --> 00:08:41,290 from her that say "Emergency." 230 00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:43,374 Emergency, Julie. Emergency. 231 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,284 I need you here right now. 232 00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:48,267 I'm at Saks, and everything my personal shopper 233 00:08:48,292 --> 00:08:50,530 picked out for me is way too boxy. 234 00:08:50,555 --> 00:08:52,183 Is she trying to sabotage me? 235 00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:53,709 Does she think I'm ten years older than I am? 236 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,363 You know what, Mom, I'll call you right back. 237 00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:56,389 Julie? 238 00:08:58,821 --> 00:09:00,322 Hey, uh, Vanessa? 239 00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,770 This is Julie from the AA meeting. 240 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:04,641 Listen, I need your help. 241 00:09:04,742 --> 00:09:06,890 The bottle is calling. 242 00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,666 Rucchel, you have to stop calling me. 243 00:09:10,881 --> 00:09:14,883 Oh, I'm sorry my terror is inconveniencing you, 244 00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:16,405 you selfish son of a bitch. 245 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,026 It's a good thing your parents are already dead, 246 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,195 because if they saw how you treat your only sister-in-law, 247 00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:21,519 it would fucking kill them. 248 00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,166 Oh, please, Rucchel. My parents hated you. 249 00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:25,571 You know that. They were just happy 250 00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,157 that Garry could lose his virginity. 251 00:09:27,182 --> 00:09:28,274 Exactly. 252 00:09:28,299 --> 00:09:31,187 I took one for the team; Now it's your turn. 253 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,716 Go check the basement. 254 00:09:33,905 --> 00:09:35,397 What if it's not creepy crawlers? 255 00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:37,777 For all I know, there could be a dybbuk down there. 256 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,122 Oh, really, Rucchel? A dybbuk? 257 00:09:40,402 --> 00:09:42,996 A Yiddish demon is haunting your water heater? 258 00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:48,214 Okay, I heard that. 259 00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:49,403 Uh... 260 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:52,787 Stay here. 261 00:10:10,328 --> 00:10:11,537 Garry! 262 00:10:11,562 --> 00:10:13,831 Billy? Thank God. 263 00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:15,539 The Israeli Army doesn't want me, 264 00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:18,695 so I've been hiding out under here. 265 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,352 Could you please get me crackers and some clean socks? 266 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,663 Garry, what the fuck is wrong with you? 267 00:10:25,664 --> 00:10:27,979 What did you do to get yourself kicked out of the Israeli Army? 268 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,288 No, I didn't get kicked out. 269 00:10:29,313 --> 00:10:32,925 I... I never even made it past the Tel Aviv airport. 270 00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:34,664 I got there and they took my vitals; 271 00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:37,319 They said my Dramamine levels were too high 272 00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:38,845 and then they just sent me home. 273 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:40,627 I begged them to let it wear off, 274 00:10:40,652 --> 00:10:43,533 but they just threw some oranges at me. 275 00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:45,352 What the hell is going on down there? 276 00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:47,901 Oh, nothing, Rucchel! Stay up there! 277 00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:49,294 - Garry, this is so... - I know, I know. 278 00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:52,034 It's pathetic and stupid. I know, I know. 279 00:10:52,059 --> 00:10:54,479 I just feel so ashamed with Rucchel and the girls, 280 00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,082 so I've just been hiding out down here 281 00:10:56,107 --> 00:10:57,922 and just sneaking up at night. 282 00:10:57,947 --> 00:10:59,311 You're living down here? 283 00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:02,087 This is like "Room" if that abuser had kept kosher. 284 00:11:02,112 --> 00:11:03,702 What the fuck is wrong with you? 285 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,708 How long have you been living on fucking crackers 286 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:06,940 and basement air? 287 00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,658 Oh, I don't know. I mean... 288 00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:11,565 I think a couple of days. A month. 289 00:11:11,590 --> 00:11:13,165 - What? - Here's the thing, 290 00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:14,906 I'm scheduled to come home soon, 291 00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:16,370 so if I could pull it off, 292 00:11:16,395 --> 00:11:18,708 I have, you know, one of those really great, like, 293 00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:19,895 heroes welcomes. 294 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,338 You ever see those YouTube videos 295 00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:22,689 of soldiers coming home 296 00:11:22,811 --> 00:11:24,731 and those dogs don't even consider biting them? 297 00:11:24,838 --> 00:11:26,256 I want that with Rucchel. 298 00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:27,703 What the fuck is wrong with you? 299 00:11:27,727 --> 00:11:28,770 Living down here, running around the dark 300 00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:29,817 with your little lantern 301 00:11:29,842 --> 00:11:31,469 like you're fucking Ichabod Crane. 302 00:11:31,494 --> 00:11:33,421 Your wife thinks that your house 303 00:11:33,446 --> 00:11:35,826 is haunted by a dybbuk, okay? 304 00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:37,924 I'm not gonna be part of this. 305 00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:39,418 I understand. You don't wanna help. 306 00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,030 And I wouldn't either. 307 00:11:42,055 --> 00:11:44,809 I'll just continue living under the stairs. 308 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,732 God damn it, Garry. 309 00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:58,244 Rucchel. You've got a dybbuk. 310 00:12:00,347 --> 00:12:02,126 So now I have to stage an exorcism 311 00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,611 so that Garry can pretend to come home from the Israeli Army 312 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,460 in time for Rucchel to believe that her home is dybbuk-free. 313 00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:08,820 Perfect. Meanwhile, 314 00:12:08,855 --> 00:12:11,728 Arthur is holding me hostage to an orgasm of his own making. 315 00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:13,555 He asked me to block out three hours tonight. 316 00:12:13,615 --> 00:12:15,656 There's nothing hotter than reserving the amount of time 317 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,215 it would take to watch "The Hobbit" 318 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,243 for your lover to insist on pleasuring you. 319 00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:20,868 I know; I feel like I'm about to be subjected 320 00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:22,769 to some kind of clitoral fracking. 321 00:12:22,794 --> 00:12:25,174 Hey, hey, hey. How's it going, New York City? 322 00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:26,450 We are Order's Up. 323 00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:28,677 We're all over 40, we all own restaurants, 324 00:12:28,702 --> 00:12:31,411 and we met at Rock N' Roll Fantasy Camp. 325 00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:34,316 This is an extremely slow version of "Surfin' Bird." 326 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,052 One, two, three. 327 00:12:36,077 --> 00:12:39,291 ♪ Well, everybody's heard about the bird ♪ 328 00:12:39,812 --> 00:12:41,176 Jesus Christ. 329 00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:42,877 We've only been parents for six months 330 00:12:42,902 --> 00:12:45,155 and he's already going through a mid-life crisis. 331 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:46,542 ♪ Bird, bird, bird ♪ 332 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:48,118 Hey, hold on, guys. I'm a little bit out of tune. 333 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,728 Hold on. ♪ Bird ♪ 334 00:12:49,753 --> 00:12:52,883 ♪ Bird, bird, bird ♪ 335 00:12:52,908 --> 00:12:55,203 This is some straight-up Tim Allen shit. 336 00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:57,816 "How to Exorcise a Dybbuk." 337 00:12:57,841 --> 00:13:00,469 The unloved spinoff to "How To Train Your Dragon." 338 00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:02,652 Step 1. Assemble a Minyan. 339 00:13:02,677 --> 00:13:04,091 Like those little yellow idiots? 340 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,821 Billy, if you make one more goddamn quip, 341 00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:09,226 I will punch you so hard, your stubble will fall to the floor 342 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,974 like you're in a fucking cartoon. 343 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,346 Note taken. 344 00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:14,833 A minyan is a prayer group of ten Jewish Men 345 00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:16,903 who have all been Bar-Mitzvah'ed. 346 00:13:16,928 --> 00:13:18,900 Well, this neighborhood is notably Jewladen. 347 00:13:18,925 --> 00:13:20,725 I mean, we could just knock on doors and ask. 348 00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:22,089 Are you out of your mind? 349 00:13:22,114 --> 00:13:23,922 I don't want my neighbors to know I have a dybbuk. 350 00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:25,490 Whenever I need a guy on short notice, 351 00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:27,977 I just use RentB... I mean, Tinder. 352 00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,529 That's it! 353 00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,576 We'll recruit our Minyan from J-Swipe! 354 00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:33,803 Isn't J-Swipe how you teach girls to wipe? 355 00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:36,344 Front to back in the shape of an upper case J? 356 00:13:36,369 --> 00:13:37,911 Why do you know that? 357 00:13:38,082 --> 00:13:40,514 No. J-Swipe is Jewish Tinder. 358 00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,625 - There's Jewish Tinder? - Yes. 359 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,403 We'll create a fake profile 360 00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:45,777 for the ultimate Jewish girl. 361 00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:47,763 Yes! I like that. 362 00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:50,000 Image search "Brandeis." 363 00:13:51,325 --> 00:13:55,123 Yes, those photos are from the Jewish A Capella championships. 364 00:13:55,297 --> 00:13:57,802 - The Jew-Wops. - Hello, gorgeous. 365 00:13:57,827 --> 00:13:59,037 Bye bye, Dybbuk. 366 00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:00,695 What should we say? 367 00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:04,448 "My breasts are as heavy and dense 368 00:14:04,473 --> 00:14:08,069 "as two garbage bags full of marbles, 369 00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:12,963 and I have the flattest, widest ass you've ever seen." 370 00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,524 "- When I'm not drinking iced tea 371 00:14:15,549 --> 00:14:17,761 "in an air-conditioned restaurant, 372 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,387 "I'm praying to Hashem 373 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:24,035 "to send me a man who will share with me his opinions 374 00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:29,123 on everything from Bob Dylan to Philip Roth." 375 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,384 Ooh. 376 00:14:34,844 --> 00:14:36,555 That was "The Braille Wishbone." 377 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:44,820 "The Morse Code Noose" combined with. 378 00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:46,096 "Reach for the rest of the peanut butter" 379 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,371 "under the life of the jar." 380 00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,345 Oh, really? 381 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,820 No luck with "The Double-Handed Vulcan Salute"? 382 00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:58,004 Okay. Drumroll please. 383 00:14:58,117 --> 00:15:00,328 "The Other Becky From 'Roseanne.'" 384 00:15:00,353 --> 00:15:01,552 Ah! 385 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,424 I've got some disappointing news. 386 00:15:07,565 --> 00:15:10,836 My entire doll collection committed suicide last night. 387 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,011 I'm sorry for your loss. 388 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,791 And since you started working with Lester, 389 00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,856 he's actually started forgetting things 390 00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:19,715 he used to know how to do. 391 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:20,789 So, I'm sorry, Arthur, 392 00:15:20,814 --> 00:15:22,496 but it's time to let Lester go. 393 00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,151 He's just completely useless. 394 00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:27,214 Or maybe... 395 00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:29,116 the problem isn't Lester. 396 00:15:29,611 --> 00:15:31,405 Maybe the software has changed! 397 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,948 Give him one more chance! 398 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,770 Not the right time, Arthur! 399 00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:39,891 Call me when you've found 45 dolls in an oven. 400 00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:43,080 Uh, God damn it, Lester. 401 00:15:43,112 --> 00:15:44,535 I don't need to watch you fumble around 402 00:15:44,559 --> 00:15:46,765 like Ronald Reagan in... either term. 403 00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:48,459 Okay, click on the file. 404 00:15:48,484 --> 00:15:49,610 Click on the folder. 405 00:15:49,635 --> 00:15:51,096 Okay? Try it. 406 00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:53,439 Folder, fi... no, stop! 407 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,705 Just easier if I do it myself. 408 00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:57,006 Hey J-Swipers. 409 00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:59,136 Debbie, the Jewish girl that you matched with, 410 00:15:59,161 --> 00:16:00,496 she'll be down in a second. 411 00:16:00,521 --> 00:16:01,964 She's just diffusing her hair. 412 00:16:01,989 --> 00:16:03,825 I know how long diffusing takes. 413 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,267 Curly hair is a whole thing if you don't want frizz. 414 00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,520 My sisters, they spend forever in the morning. 415 00:16:06,544 --> 00:16:07,945 But I'm telling you, I've known her since camp, 416 00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:09,229 and she's worth the wait. 417 00:16:09,254 --> 00:16:11,118 Oh, camp... that was the happiest I was ever at. 418 00:16:11,142 --> 00:16:12,822 All my friends come from summer camp. 419 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,047 I can't wait to meet her. 420 00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:16,540 You know, Jordan and I used to do a Capella at Camp Ramah. 421 00:16:16,702 --> 00:16:18,115 Nobody cares. Save it for Debbie. 422 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,355 She loves that shit. 423 00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,714 Really? I formed a Doo Wop Group 424 00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:21,984 with my friends from Project Birthright. 425 00:16:22,008 --> 00:16:23,703 My Bar Mitzvah theme was a three-part harmony. 426 00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,838 I started a Barbershop Quartet on the train here. 427 00:16:25,863 --> 00:16:28,241 Was Lou Reed the last cool Jew? 428 00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:30,387 I am so glad that you reached out. 429 00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:32,791 The first step of sobriety can be scary. 430 00:16:32,816 --> 00:16:34,736 Yeah, I can see how it can be. 431 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,806 Excuse me? Can I please see the wine list? 432 00:16:36,831 --> 00:16:38,207 - Julie. - Fine. 433 00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:39,902 Four desserts. And surprise me. 434 00:16:39,927 --> 00:16:42,055 Julie, you were a wreck when you called me from Saks. 435 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,460 I mean, you've got to get a handle on these addictions. 436 00:16:45,686 --> 00:16:47,172 I love this sponsor thing. 437 00:16:47,197 --> 00:16:49,719 It's like having a friend who never talks about herself. 438 00:16:49,744 --> 00:16:51,957 A cheese plate doesn't count. 439 00:16:51,982 --> 00:16:53,120 I'm gonna need a fifth. 440 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:55,267 Oh, no, no, leave it, please. Thank you. 441 00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:57,917 Nancy Reagan was an AIDS-ignoring monster. 442 00:16:58,053 --> 00:16:59,596 Tell me something I don't know. 443 00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:01,776 However, next time the bottle calls... 444 00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:04,929 - I'll just say no. - There you go. Atta girl. 445 00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:08,893 - Oh, speak of the devil. - Hmm? 446 00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:10,545 It's the bottle calling. 447 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,614 My old drinking buddy. 448 00:17:12,639 --> 00:17:13,682 You know what to do. 449 00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:15,251 I am right here for you. 450 00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:16,606 Okay. 451 00:17:16,631 --> 00:17:18,840 Hi. 452 00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:20,326 Julie, I need you to replace 453 00:17:20,351 --> 00:17:21,436 these energy-efficient lightbulbs 454 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,962 with energy-wasting ones. 455 00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:26,635 This economy lighting is aging me. 456 00:17:27,521 --> 00:17:28,608 No. 457 00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:31,346 - Excuse me? - I said no. 458 00:17:31,371 --> 00:17:33,917 I can't do it. Good-bye. 459 00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:36,654 What? 460 00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,270 I'm sorry. 461 00:17:38,295 --> 00:17:40,049 Well, if I look sick, it's because of the call 462 00:17:40,073 --> 00:17:41,408 I just had with my daughter, 463 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,712 or this bullshit Al Gore lighting. 464 00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:45,595 Anyway, catch me up. 465 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:48,457 Thanks for the meditation app recommendation. 466 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:52,448 Danny Aiello wasn't exactly the guide... 467 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:54,938 Is it hot in here? 468 00:17:55,901 --> 00:17:57,610 Are you hot? 469 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,972 Uh. 470 00:17:59,004 --> 00:18:00,172 How good does that feel? 471 00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:01,607 What were we so afraid of? 472 00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:03,384 I don't know! I mean, I said no. 473 00:18:03,409 --> 00:18:05,449 Big deal; What's the worst thing that could happen? 474 00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:11,756 - Yeah? - I... I just called 911. 475 00:18:11,781 --> 00:18:13,742 - Ow! - I think your mom 476 00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:15,085 is having a heart attack. 477 00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:16,993 Ow! 478 00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:19,829 - You okay? - Yeah, I think I just learned 479 00:18:19,854 --> 00:18:21,534 what the worst thing that could happen is. 480 00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:25,170 Mom! 481 00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:26,813 How did you get past the nurse? 482 00:18:26,851 --> 00:18:28,479 How could you tell her not to let me in? 483 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:31,230 How did you give me a heart attack? 484 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,757 I did not intend to give you a heart attack. 485 00:18:33,805 --> 00:18:35,599 I was just trying to set some boundaries. 486 00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:38,959 Please. That's "Julie" for you doing what you like, 487 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,015 when you like it, with no regard for what I need. 488 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,751 All I do is regard your needs. 489 00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:45,794 It's making me unhealthy. 490 00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:46,900 That's rich, Julie. 491 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,859 You're complaining about you being unhealthy 492 00:18:48,884 --> 00:18:50,552 when I'm in a hospital bed? 493 00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:53,081 All I did was tell you I couldn't come over 494 00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:54,150 and change all of your lightbulbs 495 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,300 within an hour's notice. 496 00:18:55,325 --> 00:18:56,786 Was it worth it, Julie? 497 00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:58,485 Was it worth it? 498 00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,263 Stop blaming me for this! 499 00:19:00,288 --> 00:19:01,999 Can you please keep it down? 500 00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:03,715 Shut up, asshole! 501 00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:05,450 Before you meet Debbie, 502 00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:08,607 let's say a traditional blessing for first dates. 503 00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:11,616 And... five, six, seven, eight. 504 00:19:11,641 --> 00:19:14,981 ♪ Dybbuk, dybbuk, dybbuk, get out of town ♪ 505 00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:16,506 Good! 506 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:19,911 ♪ Dybbuk, Dybbuk, Dybbuk, don't come back around ♪ 507 00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:22,054 And counter-clockwise. 508 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,492 ♪ Gey avek, dyvuk ♪ 509 00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,228 Put some feeling into it! 510 00:19:27,324 --> 00:19:28,700 Billy, get in there. 511 00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:30,520 - No. - Get in there, Billy! 512 00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,925 Get in there. It won't work unless ten of you do it. 513 00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:35,453 ♪ Un ikh darf az du zolst gey ♪ 514 00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:39,926 dybuk, di ale! 515 00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:44,305 Gey avek un kum nisht tsurik! 516 00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:47,228 We don't need you here, dybbuk. 517 00:19:47,406 --> 00:19:49,534 Oh, no, not I. 518 00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,209 Rid thee, demons! 519 00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:00,856 Flee from this home! 520 00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:02,556 Flee from this home! 521 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,796 Oh, my God! Chrissy, Lexington. 522 00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,764 How are you? Thank you for coming. 523 00:20:11,927 --> 00:20:15,725 A margarine casserole? That is so sweet of you. 524 00:20:17,873 --> 00:20:20,543 Don't worry about that. 525 00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,925 We're just Jews. We're just like you. 526 00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:24,271 We're not weird. 527 00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:27,468 Daddy's home! 528 00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:29,569 Garry! 529 00:20:29,594 --> 00:20:31,597 Ask me about Israel. 530 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,777 Ask me about Israel! 531 00:20:36,264 --> 00:20:38,267 Get me out of here, Julie. 532 00:20:38,268 --> 00:20:41,899 Who knows what they'd do to my bangs if I nodded off. 533 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,528 Here, let me. 534 00:20:45,614 --> 00:20:48,160 Don't forget my eyebrows. 535 00:20:48,668 --> 00:20:49,954 You know, I have in my will 536 00:20:49,979 --> 00:20:52,775 they can't bury me without doing my eyebrows. 537 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,348 You know that video will I made with Tina what's-her-name. 538 00:20:56,427 --> 00:21:00,100 I'm still in shock. I can't believe you almost died. 539 00:21:00,442 --> 00:21:02,612 You know, sometimes I wonder 540 00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:05,536 if maybe that would be a relief for you. 541 00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:07,691 Are you crazy? 542 00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:10,039 I can't imagine life without you. 543 00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:12,372 I'd say you're a part of me, 544 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:15,080 but sometimes I think you're most of me. 545 00:21:15,081 --> 00:21:18,754 You can't leave, Mom. I'd disappear. 546 00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:23,019 Oh, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere. 547 00:21:23,555 --> 00:21:26,510 I can't imagine what life would be without me, either. 548 00:21:28,107 --> 00:21:30,318 I'm sorry about the nurse. 549 00:21:30,319 --> 00:21:32,865 Next time I have a crisis in the Saks dressing room, 550 00:21:32,866 --> 00:21:35,620 I think maybe I'll just send a selfie. 551 00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:37,330 I'd like that. 552 00:21:37,409 --> 00:21:40,079 You know what, I do think she was trying to sabotage you. 553 00:21:40,381 --> 00:21:42,427 - I'm not that boxy. - Nobody is. 554 00:21:44,357 --> 00:21:47,571 - I'm exhausted. - Me too. 555 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:53,824 What if we both just sit here 556 00:21:53,825 --> 00:21:57,080 and we're okay with doing absolutely nothing. 557 00:21:57,081 --> 00:21:58,751 We won't even try to do nothing. 558 00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:00,170 We'll just do nothing. 559 00:22:00,171 --> 00:22:02,717 - Yes. - Completely. 560 00:22:08,145 --> 00:22:11,777 ♪ Ease your hand ♪ 561 00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:15,326 ♪ Call out your name ♪ 562 00:22:17,483 --> 00:22:19,041 - We did it. - You did it. 563 00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:20,543 Thank you for letting me. 564 00:22:20,544 --> 00:22:22,255 I wonder what was different this time. 565 00:22:22,256 --> 00:22:24,551 Uh, maybe if you're turned on enough, 566 00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,182 there is no specific code. 567 00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,692 Oh, shit. It's my sponsor. Do you mind if a grab it? 568 00:22:32,693 --> 00:22:34,363 Pumpkin Seed, from now on, 569 00:22:34,364 --> 00:22:36,283 I don't mind if you grab it or if you let me. 570 00:22:36,284 --> 00:22:39,498 As long as we're both satisfied during and after sex, 571 00:22:39,499 --> 00:22:43,089 I'm as happy as a Jewish girl in an air-conditioned restaurant. 572 00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:44,633 - Hey, Vanessa. - Hey. 573 00:22:44,634 --> 00:22:45,845 I was just wondering if you're gonna 574 00:22:45,846 --> 00:22:47,055 come to the meeting tonight. 575 00:22:47,056 --> 00:22:49,143 Exactly, I'm using again. 576 00:22:49,144 --> 00:22:51,898 I tried but, I don't think I'm ready to quit her. 577 00:22:51,899 --> 00:22:54,445 So I just put a turban on her instead, 578 00:22:54,446 --> 00:22:57,284 and now my boyfriend can make me cum. 579 00:22:57,502 --> 00:23:00,635 Okay, Julie. You're obviously wasted. 580 00:23:00,728 --> 00:23:03,367 If you need any help, you have my number. 581 00:23:03,436 --> 00:23:06,065 Hi, I'm Vanessa. I'm an alcoholic. 582 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:07,555 Get the hell out of my chair. 583 00:23:09,324 --> 00:23:10,825 So was the army scary? 584 00:23:10,850 --> 00:23:12,853 Oh, it sure was. 585 00:23:13,031 --> 00:23:15,886 You know, it's not so easy living in such damp conditions. 586 00:23:15,911 --> 00:23:19,738 Eating crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 587 00:23:19,795 --> 00:23:22,842 War, what is it good for? 588 00:23:23,051 --> 00:23:24,361 Absolutely nothing. 589 00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:26,055 What a blessing. 590 00:23:26,307 --> 00:23:30,022 Our dybbuk is gone, and our Garry is home. 591 00:23:30,023 --> 00:23:32,818 Really great timing for two unrelated events. 592 00:23:32,819 --> 00:23:34,057 Listen, I gotta go. 593 00:23:34,082 --> 00:23:36,753 I will see you all at the next unpronounceable holiday. 594 00:23:37,329 --> 00:23:39,415 Billy? 595 00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:40,709 Thank you. 596 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,921 You're welcome. 597 00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:43,590 No, I mean, um, 598 00:23:43,591 --> 00:23:45,427 thank you very much. 599 00:23:45,428 --> 00:23:47,348 I salute you. 600 00:23:47,349 --> 00:23:49,477 All right. Bye, guys. 601 00:23:49,478 --> 00:23:51,857 Billy... Thank you. 602 00:23:51,858 --> 00:23:53,819 Billy... 603 00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:55,239 Thank you so much, Uncle Billy. 604 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,538 Shut the fuck up, Tal. 605 00:23:56,563 --> 00:23:58,621 The first fucking time in your life you say thank you, 606 00:23:58,645 --> 00:23:59,896 and it has to be now? 607 00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:01,544 - I'm just sorry you... - You don't even know 608 00:24:01,568 --> 00:24:03,023 what the fuck you're thanking him for. 609 00:24:03,047 --> 00:24:04,842 All right, okay. 610 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,805 Hey, so is Debbie almost ready yet? 611 00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:10,979 Hey! How's it going? 612 00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:12,481 Hello, everybody! 613 00:24:12,482 --> 00:24:14,465 Lookin' good. Up top. 614 00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:16,606 Yeah! Whoo! 615 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,925 Lester, just the man I wanted to see. 616 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,809 You're fired. Clean out your desk. 617 00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:23,304 All right, Gabby. Gabby, Gabby, Gabby, Gabby. 618 00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:25,494 I don't know how. I don't know how. 619 00:24:25,519 --> 00:24:27,897 Okay, PBS, baby! Yeah. 620 00:24:27,981 --> 00:24:30,068 Making TV. 621 00:24:32,147 --> 00:24:33,774 Thank you. Thank you very much. 622 00:24:33,775 --> 00:24:35,486 These guys make the Rock Bottom Remainders 623 00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:38,033 look like... well, no, they suck also. 624 00:24:38,034 --> 00:24:39,482 We're also taking requests. 625 00:24:39,507 --> 00:24:41,802 Oh, I'd like to retroactively request the night off. 626 00:24:41,827 --> 00:24:43,078 No. 627 00:24:43,203 --> 00:24:44,371 He's getting better. 628 00:24:44,396 --> 00:24:46,149 Matthew, he is damn not. 629 00:24:46,629 --> 00:24:47,836 This is a nightmare. 630 00:24:47,948 --> 00:24:50,076 Oh, well, what if you took your baby back 631 00:24:50,194 --> 00:24:52,322 to the adoption agency, got rid of it? 632 00:24:52,437 --> 00:24:53,898 You know, put the focus back on Matthew? 633 00:24:53,899 --> 00:24:55,734 All right, listen up, Sheeple! 634 00:24:55,735 --> 00:24:58,802 I'm Lola, and I'm the newest member of Order's Up. 635 00:24:58,902 --> 00:25:00,912 This is a real song you can find on YouTube, 636 00:25:00,913 --> 00:25:02,706 called "Building Seven." 637 00:25:02,707 --> 00:25:04,252 Three, four... 638 00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:06,548 Oh! 639 00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:09,178 ♪ Thought it'd be easy ♪ 640 00:25:09,179 --> 00:25:11,766 ♪ Thought they didn't know ♪ 641 00:25:11,767 --> 00:25:15,607 ♪ You thought it was the only way to go ♪ 642 00:25:17,112 --> 00:25:19,198 ♪ Another way out ♪ 643 00:25:19,199 --> 00:25:21,954 ♪ Found on the way home ♪ 644 00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:23,456 ♪ Thought you were living fast ♪ 645 00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:26,504 ♪ But you were living slow ♪ 646 00:25:33,868 --> 00:25:38,868 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.MY-SUBS.com 47342

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