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1
00:00:31,909 --> 00:00:33,711
Wow.
2
00:00:43,254 --> 00:00:44,522
Hi.
3
00:00:44,555 --> 00:00:46,224
- Hi!
- Hello. Hi.
4
00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:48,359
- Hi. Hello. Welcome.
- We're on a holiday.
5
00:00:48,392 --> 00:00:50,528
Ally and Paul, Paul and Ally.
6
00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:53,197
We're Ally, and they're
Paul. I'm P... He's Paul.
7
00:00:55,332 --> 00:00:58,770
I had some Valiums,
um, for the... flying
8
00:00:58,803 --> 00:01:01,572
and some Malbec, which
is red wine. I like wine.
9
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:02,640
Yes.
10
00:01:02,673 --> 00:01:04,342
- Okay?
- Yeah!
11
00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,210
Okay. Uh, surname is Worsley.
12
00:01:06,243 --> 00:01:07,478
Sorry. Yes.
13
00:01:07,511 --> 00:01:09,180
- It's all right.
- That's our name.
14
00:01:09,213 --> 00:01:14,318
Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Worsley.
I see you've booked three rooms.
15
00:01:14,351 --> 00:01:15,386
- Yes. Now...
- Yes.
16
00:01:15,419 --> 00:01:16,954
I did email ahead about this.
17
00:01:16,987 --> 00:01:19,399
Uh, we were originally gonna be
traveling with our two children.
18
00:01:19,423 --> 00:01:21,793
You know, they're called
Ava and Luke, yeah.
19
00:01:21,826 --> 00:01:24,796
And Ava's doing some work
experience at a biomedical lab.
20
00:01:24,829 --> 00:01:26,831
- Because she's very clever.
- Yeah.
21
00:01:26,864 --> 00:01:29,634
And Luke is, um...
22
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,202
- He's having a baby.
- Yeah.
23
00:01:31,235 --> 00:01:32,379
But we don't wanna talk
about that.
24
00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:33,814
Yeah, but, uh,
anyway, I just wonder,
25
00:01:33,838 --> 00:01:36,407
is there any chance of a
refund on the two rooms?
26
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,709
- Please?
- Uh...
27
00:01:38,742 --> 00:01:41,813
I'm very sorry, Mr. Worsley,
28
00:01:41,846 --> 00:01:44,215
but the package you
booked is non-refundable.
29
00:01:44,248 --> 00:01:45,759
Fair enough. Thanks
for checking. Uh...
30
00:01:45,783 --> 00:01:46,894
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I booked it
31
00:01:46,918 --> 00:01:48,562
18 months ago when things
were slightly less, uh...
32
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,421
- Bleh.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:50,454 --> 00:01:53,725
Oh, what I can do as
a goodwill gesture
34
00:01:53,758 --> 00:01:55,960
is upgrade you to our
presidential suite.
35
00:01:55,993 --> 00:01:57,671
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
36
00:01:57,695 --> 00:01:59,397
- Presidential.
- Hey, yeah.
37
00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:00,841
- Presidential.
- You keep saying it.
38
00:02:00,865 --> 00:02:03,835
I hope it's
Obama and not Trump
39
00:02:03,868 --> 00:02:05,937
or the Watery-gate
one with the jowls.
40
00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,504
- Mm.
- I didn't like him.
41
00:02:08,238 --> 00:02:10,374
Where are you...
Okay. Right, um...
42
00:02:10,407 --> 00:02:13,678
Hi! Hello! Are you
on holiday? I'm on holiday.
43
00:02:13,711 --> 00:02:16,881
Um... maybe send up some coffee
or... or a drugs counselor.
44
00:02:16,914 --> 00:02:18,549
Hi!
45
00:02:18,582 --> 00:02:20,627
- Let me get you your keys.
- Great, thank you.
46
00:02:20,651 --> 00:02:21,495
- She'll be fine, though.
- Um... Yeah.
47
00:02:21,519 --> 00:02:22,887
I'll keep an eye on her.
48
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,822
- Breakfast is from 7 a.m...
- Uh-huh.
49
00:02:24,855 --> 00:02:26,066
- In the Odysseus Restaurant.
- Okay, yeah.
50
00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:28,926
- Outside on our south terrace.
- Brilliant. Thank you very much.
51
00:02:28,959 --> 00:02:30,537
- You're welcome.
- Um... um...
52
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:33,931
Hi!
I'm Ally. Oh! That is...
53
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:39,504
Oh, shit.
54
00:02:39,537 --> 00:02:42,373
- Oh.
- Um...
55
00:02:42,406 --> 00:02:44,208
And there's a bar.
There's a bar.
56
00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:46,744
- There's a bar.
- Okay.
57
00:02:46,777 --> 00:02:49,680
Look at that lovely
bit of jewelry.
58
00:02:49,713 --> 00:02:51,391
- Free things!
- Oh, my God.
59
00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:54,285
- Wow.
- This is fucking mad.
60
00:02:54,318 --> 00:02:55,962
Oh, there's a...
there... there are stairs.
61
00:02:55,986 --> 00:02:57,864
- I'm gonna check out the stairs.
- Please don't.
62
00:02:57,888 --> 00:02:59,690
Not in your... current... state.
63
00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:01,692
Let me go and do that.
64
00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:03,327
I'll report back.
65
00:03:05,963 --> 00:03:08,533
Wow!
66
00:03:08,566 --> 00:03:11,536
Hello, my people.
67
00:03:11,569 --> 00:03:14,839
There's stone
pineapples out here, Paul!
68
00:03:14,872 --> 00:03:16,774
- Hon. Hon.
- Yeah?
69
00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:18,576
There's a Jacuzzi
in our bathroom.
70
00:03:18,609 --> 00:03:20,478
- No.
- Yeah, it... it's really big.
71
00:03:20,511 --> 00:03:21,679
I think it's probably tidal.
72
00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:24,248
Oh, my God. I
feel like a rock star.
73
00:03:24,281 --> 00:03:25,525
That's 'cause you're
off your face.
74
00:03:25,549 --> 00:03:27,285
- All right, I'm coming up.
- Honestly, hon,
75
00:03:27,318 --> 00:03:28,862
- please be careful.
- I don't need to be careful.
76
00:03:29,954 --> 00:03:33,857
Ohh.
77
00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:39,430
- Well...
- Well...
78
00:03:39,463 --> 00:03:41,308
You know, there's nothing
like a... a hotel room
79
00:03:41,332 --> 00:03:42,709
just pressuring you to
have sex.
80
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:45,570
Yeah, it is. It's... It is
begging for sex, isn't it?
81
00:03:45,603 --> 00:03:46,913
Yeah. Coming on a
bit strong, isn't it?
82
00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:50,541
Yeah, definitely.
Back off, room. Shh.
83
00:03:58,983 --> 00:04:01,552
- How long has it been?
- I don't know.
84
00:04:01,585 --> 00:04:03,421
Five months.
85
00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,623
Listen, we shouldn't be
too hard on ourselves.
86
00:04:05,656 --> 00:04:08,259
- About what?
- About the, mm, dry spell.
87
00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:09,803
It's been a really
difficult few months.
88
00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:12,897
Yeah. Who knew that becoming
grandparents wasn't a turn-on?
89
00:04:14,865 --> 00:04:17,802
'Cause it's really weird
without them here, isn't it?
90
00:04:17,835 --> 00:04:20,605
It is, yeah. On the other
hand, we have bagged
91
00:04:20,638 --> 00:04:22,473
the David Bowie suite
at no extra cost.
92
00:04:22,506 --> 00:04:24,542
Do you think that David
Bowie actually stayed here?
93
00:04:24,575 --> 00:04:26,677
I definitely do. Yes, I do.
94
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:29,313
He was a very big fan on
all-inclusive package holidays.
95
00:04:29,346 --> 00:04:31,315
- He loved them.
- Same with Bolan.
96
00:04:31,348 --> 00:04:34,252
Lou Reed... more of a... I
don't know, campsite guy.
97
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,422
- Oh, man.
- Mm.
98
00:04:37,455 --> 00:04:38,899
We should get going, you
know? 'Cause, uh, we booked
99
00:04:38,923 --> 00:04:40,858
- that tour for 2:00.
- Mm.
100
00:04:40,891 --> 00:04:42,626
Hmm.
101
00:04:49,934 --> 00:04:52,536
Good. That's... That's helpful.
102
00:04:57,007 --> 00:04:58,843
He definitely say 2:00?
103
00:04:58,876 --> 00:05:00,420
Yeah, I checked
the confirmation.
104
00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:01,812
It's 2:00, hon.
105
00:05:07,418 --> 00:05:09,721
Oh, uh, it's Luke.
106
00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:12,223
He said that Ava's having
a great day at the lab.
107
00:05:12,256 --> 00:05:13,524
- Mm-hmm.
- But she's very busy
108
00:05:13,557 --> 00:05:15,226
and that they're gonna
get takeaway later.
109
00:05:15,259 --> 00:05:17,695
- Maya is craving Italian.
- Ah, great.
110
00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:18,763
- Aw.
- See?
111
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,498
- See what?
- They're fine.
112
00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:22,576
I... I didn't think they were
gonna get murdered, Paul.
113
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,335
I just wanted to touch base.
114
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:27,472
Look, no one wishes they were
here more than I do, hon.
115
00:05:27,505 --> 00:05:29,707
This was gonna be our last...
116
00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:31,409
big... I don't know.
117
00:05:31,442 --> 00:05:32,944
Big family holiday together.
118
00:05:32,977 --> 00:05:34,388
Well, yeah. You... You
don't think, do you,
119
00:05:34,412 --> 00:05:35,689
when the kids are
little, that you've got
120
00:05:35,713 --> 00:05:37,815
a finite amount of
family holidays together,
121
00:05:37,848 --> 00:05:39,493
but it turns out you
have, and it seems like
122
00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,853
we might have had our last
one without even realizing it.
123
00:05:41,886 --> 00:05:43,888
Yeah.
124
00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:46,391
Oh. There he is. Hi.
125
00:05:46,424 --> 00:05:47,725
You for the tour?
126
00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:49,426
Uh, yes. For Worsley.
127
00:05:51,429 --> 00:05:53,197
- Oh.
- Four of you?
128
00:05:53,798 --> 00:05:56,501
Uh, no, it's just... just two
of us 'cause our daughter Ava...
129
00:05:56,534 --> 00:05:58,569
Oh, yeah. It doesn't
matter. Yeah.
130
00:05:58,602 --> 00:06:00,938
I won't go into...
into that. Yeah.
131
00:06:01,606 --> 00:06:03,741
- So, two of you, then?
- Yeah.
132
00:06:03,774 --> 00:06:05,610
No one else has booked?
133
00:06:05,643 --> 00:06:07,177
- No.
- Ah.
134
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:10,248
- We'll start with the exterior.
- Oh. It's happening.
135
00:06:10,281 --> 00:06:13,317
The tower was
completed in 1637.
136
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:17,622
It's 11 meters high with, as
you can see, a square base...
137
00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:19,424
- Mm-hmm.
- And two levels.
138
00:06:19,457 --> 00:06:22,326
Access to the upper floors
was originally by means
139
00:06:22,359 --> 00:06:24,695
- of a wooden ladder.
- Uh-huh.
140
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:26,497
Just be aware there's
no photography
141
00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:27,832
allowed inside the tower.
142
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,802
Oh, sorry. Yeah, of
course.
143
00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:32,804
This is one of the
surviving eight towers
144
00:06:32,837 --> 00:06:35,373
of an original 13 that
were built to enhance
145
00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:38,910
and expand the town's existing
system of coastal defense.
146
00:06:38,943 --> 00:06:41,879
- We will see all eight today.
- Very good.
147
00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:45,917
- Will we? Eight?
- Eight.
148
00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:47,151
- Okay.
- Where you are?
149
00:06:48,719 --> 00:06:50,521
Uh...
150
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:53,257
- You all right?
- Uh, can't find the keys.
151
00:06:55,259 --> 00:06:57,762
The next tower we
will explore had repair work
152
00:06:57,795 --> 00:07:01,466
in the mid-19th century that
revealed the foundations
153
00:07:01,499 --> 00:07:06,537
of the Church of St.
Agatha, destroyed in 1075.
154
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:07,939
Care to guess what
might have been
155
00:07:07,972 --> 00:07:09,540
the cause of that destruction?
156
00:07:09,573 --> 00:07:11,208
Damp.
157
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:15,555
Uh, asteroids? Oh, no, that
was the dinosaurs, wasn't it?
158
00:07:15,579 --> 00:07:16,848
Um, fire?
159
00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:19,817
Yes. It was a big fire.
160
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:20,884
Oh.
161
00:07:21,986 --> 00:07:23,587
Follow me.
162
00:07:24,255 --> 00:07:26,290
He's a
fucking laugh, isn't he?
163
00:07:26,323 --> 00:07:28,268
It's like being shown around
by that bloke from Up.
164
00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:30,795
Oh, hello, hello.
165
00:07:30,828 --> 00:07:33,331
- Taxi.
- Oh. Are you serious?
166
00:07:33,364 --> 00:07:35,709
No, he's serious. I'm sensible.
167
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:38,336
- Should we... s...
- In addition to this,
168
00:07:38,369 --> 00:07:42,373
she is the patron saint of...
169
00:07:42,406 --> 00:07:43,383
- Get on the driver.
- I'm gonna... okay.
170
00:07:43,407 --> 00:07:45,543
I'm gonna go the other side.
171
00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:47,245
Hi.
172
00:07:47,278 --> 00:07:48,622
Hi. Xara Palace Hotel, please.
173
00:07:48,646 --> 00:07:51,415
You booked? Jameson?
174
00:07:51,983 --> 00:07:53,651
Um, yes. Yeah, yeah, that, um...
175
00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:55,420
- Yep.
- We are Mr. And Mrs. Jameson.
176
00:07:55,453 --> 00:07:56,530
- Mrs. Jame... Jameson.
- Thank you for waiting for us.
177
00:07:56,554 --> 00:07:59,957
- Thanks for waiting.
- Ahh.
178
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:01,568
- Excuse me.
- Oh, that's the way to do that.
179
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:02,903
- Oh, fuck, it's their taxi.
- Excuse me.
180
00:08:02,927 --> 00:08:04,204
Um, let's go. I
think we can go now.
181
00:08:04,228 --> 00:08:05,630
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's...
182
00:08:05,663 --> 00:08:07,474
- That's definitely ours?
- Yeah, that's our taxi.
183
00:08:07,498 --> 00:08:08,499
Hey! What...
184
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,303
Bastards!
185
00:08:12,336 --> 00:08:14,671
- Massive bastards.
- Why?
186
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:23,948
We'd have made a great
Bonnie and Clyde.
187
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:26,317
Yeah, as long as someone
pre-booked the getaway car.
188
00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:28,653
Right, so, what next?
Should we, uh, take a tour
189
00:08:28,686 --> 00:08:30,621
of the old town square
and then shoot up a bank?
190
00:08:30,654 --> 00:08:32,733
No, let's... let's save
something for tomorrow, baby.
191
00:08:32,757 --> 00:08:34,325
- Aw.
- Um...
192
00:08:34,358 --> 00:08:35,702
Why don't we hit the pool
193
00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:37,361
and drink cocktails
all afternoon?
194
00:08:37,394 --> 00:08:40,798
Now, you, Mr. Worsley,
you know how to holiday.
195
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:50,741
Oh, no.
196
00:08:51,409 --> 00:08:54,512
I think this has
blue cheese in it.
197
00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:55,722
Oh. I didn't even
think about that.
198
00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:57,882
Oh, shit.
199
00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,851
Do you think you
can take it out?
200
00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:02,587
How? By washing the pasta?
201
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,722
Um, well, you can...
you can share mine.
202
00:09:04,755 --> 00:09:05,899
There's at least enough
for three in there.
203
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:06,824
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks.
204
00:09:12,863 --> 00:09:14,198
Thanks.
205
00:09:14,231 --> 00:09:15,699
It's okay.
206
00:09:28,446 --> 00:09:29,781
Mm.
207
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:50,401
Shut the fuck up, mate.
208
00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:53,971
What's wrong?
209
00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:55,940
It's not their
section, is it, hon?
210
00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:58,609
- Paul, it's not the Titanic.
- Mm.
211
00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:00,311
It's the adults-only
pool, though, innit?
212
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:04,449
It's not the "adults, only,
it's the kids, actually" pool.
213
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:05,592
How long have you
been working on that?
214
00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:08,386
About a minute.
215
00:10:08,419 --> 00:10:10,555
Look, let's just try and relax.
216
00:10:10,588 --> 00:10:11,965
- Okay?
- Yeah, very relaxing, innit?
217
00:10:11,989 --> 00:10:13,558
Fucking American
Sniper over there.
218
00:10:13,591 --> 00:10:16,227
Fucking menace.
219
00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:34,245
You enjoying this?
220
00:10:34,278 --> 00:10:36,189
This relaxing you?
221
00:10:36,213 --> 00:10:38,416
Should we go for a swim?
222
00:10:38,449 --> 00:10:41,352
I
considered it, but...
223
00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:42,887
I don't know.
224
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,223
Don't want to upstage
Premier League Ken over there
225
00:10:45,256 --> 00:10:46,791
with my front crawl.
226
00:10:46,824 --> 00:10:48,726
You're not actually
self-conscious, are you?
227
00:10:48,759 --> 00:10:50,528
You look great.
228
00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:53,263
Anyway, look, that guy's
got his top off, doesn't he?
229
00:10:53,731 --> 00:10:55,767
Aside from the fact that
we've both got nipples,
230
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,310
I hope you don't think
we're that similar.
231
00:10:57,334 --> 00:10:58,678
- No, I'm not say...
- Fuck me.
232
00:10:58,702 --> 00:11:00,514
I'm not saying that. I'm
just saying that you're
233
00:11:00,538 --> 00:11:02,807
allowed to have your top off.
234
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,842
No one would be judging you.
235
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,278
Sorry, let... let me...
let me just be clear.
236
00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:09,280
- Everyone would be judging me.
- Oh.
237
00:11:09,313 --> 00:11:12,550
Right? Judging people is
what human beings do best.
238
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:14,943
There's a little thing called
the internet they like to use.
239
00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:22,260
- That's it, innit?
- Whoo!
240
00:11:22,293 --> 00:11:24,796
We're the old people round
the pool now, fucking...
241
00:11:24,829 --> 00:11:27,198
That is a bit bleak,
isn't it? Come on.
242
00:11:27,231 --> 00:11:29,467
I guarantee you, babe, you
ask any of these fuckers.
243
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,369
That is what we are.
244
00:11:31,402 --> 00:11:34,939
We're the aging parents at best,
245
00:11:34,972 --> 00:11:37,875
the people who you bring
round to bleed your radiators
246
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:39,343
and lend you money.
247
00:11:39,376 --> 00:11:41,612
Christ, I am really,
very, very sorry
248
00:11:41,645 --> 00:11:44,749
that I pointed at an
elderly topless man.
249
00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:46,284
It won't happen again.
250
00:11:48,753 --> 00:11:50,354
We really should
bleed the radiator.
251
00:11:50,387 --> 00:11:52,823
You're such a twat.
252
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:58,563
Oh, shitting hell,
it's the taxi couple.
253
00:11:58,596 --> 00:12:00,531
- Fuck.
- Fuck.
254
00:12:00,564 --> 00:12:01,875
- Just look away. Look away.
- No, I...
255
00:12:01,899 --> 00:12:04,202
- They won't...
- Can we get...
256
00:12:04,235 --> 00:12:05,378
- Just play deaf. Play deaf.
- It's too late, too late.
257
00:12:05,402 --> 00:12:06,580
It's not going to be...
258
00:12:06,604 --> 00:12:08,872
Oh, thanks. Leave
me to deal with it.
259
00:12:10,474 --> 00:12:12,977
- Sorry, mate.
- Huh?
260
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:14,611
Do you mind if we
take these chairs?
261
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:17,849
Yeah, uh, yeah, of course.
262
00:12:17,882 --> 00:12:19,350
Just, uh, yeah.
Yours for the taking.
263
00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:20,518
- Go for it.
- Cheers.
264
00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:22,653
- No worries.
- I'm Jameson.
265
00:12:22,686 --> 00:12:25,189
Oh, uh, Paul. My wife, Ally.
266
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,191
Hey, I thought
that was your surname...
267
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,236
I thought that's, um, just
a very unusual first name.
268
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,829
Yeah, yeah, me dad
really loves whisky.
269
00:12:31,862 --> 00:12:33,564
- Oh.
- Oh.
270
00:12:33,597 --> 00:12:35,600
- Uh, this is me wife, Kirsty.
- Hi, Kirsty.
271
00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:36,910
- Hi, Kirsty.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
272
00:12:42,006 --> 00:12:43,483
They're in
the wrong section.
273
00:12:43,507 --> 00:12:45,576
Yes, they are. Thank you.
274
00:12:45,609 --> 00:12:47,612
Voice of sanity.
275
00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:49,647
- It's not right, though.
- Yeah, I know.
276
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,716
- Someone should have a word.
- Mm.
277
00:13:01,859 --> 00:13:03,861
- Oh?
- Excuse me, Jameson.
278
00:13:14,238 --> 00:13:15,706
Oh, gosh.
279
00:13:15,739 --> 00:13:17,875
Don't fight the man.
280
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:21,545
Oh, you're
not fighting the man.
281
00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,749
Excuse me. Could you
just ask these people
282
00:13:24,782 --> 00:13:27,284
to take their kids away? It
is the adults-only pool, so...
283
00:13:28,385 --> 00:13:29,687
Thank you.
284
00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:41,665
- Oh, really?
- What's the matter?
285
00:13:44,502 --> 00:13:45,622
Why do we have to...
286
00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:51,576
- Nice one.
- Thank you.
287
00:13:51,609 --> 00:13:53,378
Very good.
288
00:13:53,411 --> 00:13:54,511
Ah.
289
00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:59,484
Anyone for a drink?
290
00:14:01,652 --> 00:14:04,489
Oh, God, I'm so jealous. It's
cool you guys live in London.
291
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:06,366
- Yes, it is, innit?
- Yeah, we're very, very cool.
292
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:07,959
Yeah.
293
00:14:07,992 --> 00:14:09,627
Another round?
294
00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:10,904
Uh, looks like they're
closing up, isn't it?
295
00:14:10,928 --> 00:14:12,463
Oh, shit, yeah. We are...
296
00:14:12,496 --> 00:14:14,298
- We are the last people here.
- Oh.
297
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,801
Well, I guess we should
probably call it a night.
298
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:19,504
- Yeah.
- So glad we met you guys.
299
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:20,981
We were worried it was gonna
be all families, you know?
300
00:14:21,005 --> 00:14:22,840
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, right.
301
00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:25,443
Stupid families. Who needs 'em?
302
00:14:25,476 --> 00:14:26,620
- Had a really nice evening.
- Yeah, that was great.
303
00:14:26,644 --> 00:14:27,779
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
304
00:14:27,812 --> 00:14:29,713
- Lovely.
- See you guys soon.
305
00:14:30,247 --> 00:14:31,482
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
306
00:14:31,515 --> 00:14:33,418
Ah.
307
00:14:33,451 --> 00:14:34,261
Are you good to
make a move, babe?
308
00:14:34,285 --> 00:14:35,653
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
309
00:14:35,686 --> 00:14:37,531
- That was really nice.
- Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
310
00:14:37,555 --> 00:14:40,224
Yeah, I like them.
311
00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:42,527
He's got, uh, big arms.
312
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,195
- Ooh.
- What?
313
00:14:44,228 --> 00:14:45,772
That's not our key,
'cause I've got our key.
314
00:14:45,796 --> 00:14:49,467
Okay. Oh, shit. Is it
theirs? Must be theirs.
315
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:51,302
- Uh, okay.
- What?
316
00:14:51,335 --> 00:14:54,572
You don't think... that when
they said, "See you guys soon,"
317
00:14:54,605 --> 00:14:56,741
- that that was... No.
- No.
318
00:14:56,774 --> 00:14:58,275
- No, no, no, no.
- No.
319
00:15:00,411 --> 00:15:02,313
- Or... no!
- Okay.
320
00:15:02,346 --> 00:15:03,614
- No.
- No.
321
00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:05,450
- Hi.
- Yes?
322
00:15:05,483 --> 00:15:07,185
Uh, just wanted to
return this key.
323
00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:08,962
Oh! Thank God. We're
looking for that everywhere.
324
00:15:08,986 --> 00:15:10,755
- Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.
- Cheers.
325
00:15:10,788 --> 00:15:11,956
- Yeah.
- See you around.
326
00:15:11,989 --> 00:15:13,309
Yeah, yeah. Good
night. Take care.
327
00:15:16,593 --> 00:15:18,061
Nah.
328
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:29,139
Okay, so if that had been
a... a real invitation,
329
00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:33,544
a sexy invitation,
a sex-tation...
330
00:15:33,577 --> 00:15:36,647
I don't like where
this is heading.
331
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,481
No, I'm serious.
Would you ever...
332
00:15:40,217 --> 00:15:42,286
So, is this a test?
'Cause I'm... I'm...
333
00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:46,023
I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna fail it.
334
00:15:46,056 --> 00:15:47,624
Why, would you?
335
00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:48,925
Mm...
336
00:15:54,498 --> 00:15:56,042
I suppose I always just
thought that it was something
337
00:15:56,066 --> 00:15:59,236
- that older couples did...
- Mm.
338
00:15:59,269 --> 00:16:01,105
Once they got bored
of each other.
339
00:16:01,138 --> 00:16:03,139
Right, right, so
not for us, then.
340
00:16:04,374 --> 00:16:06,410
Hey.
341
00:16:28,632 --> 00:16:30,067
You okay?
342
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,668
I'll be okay. I just need to...
343
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,537
sit up for a bit.
344
00:16:38,675 --> 00:16:40,210
It's so quiet here.
345
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:42,163
- Yeah. No, it's great, isn't it?
- Yeah.
346
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:46,550
Shit.
347
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,385
Smooth.
348
00:16:48,418 --> 00:16:50,621
Always graceful. I did
ballet for four years.
349
00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,489
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
350
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:54,124
- No, you... Seriously?
- Yeah.
351
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:56,927
Okay, that's ridiculous.
How did I not know that?
352
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,529
Oh, 'cause I'm a
woman of hidden depths
353
00:16:58,562 --> 00:16:59,963
- and endless mystery.
- Oh.
354
00:16:59,996 --> 00:17:01,274
So, what else don't
I know about you?
355
00:17:01,298 --> 00:17:02,675
Oh, no, actually,
I think ballet's...
356
00:17:02,699 --> 00:17:04,043
Just joking again.
357
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,636
Oh, my God.
358
00:17:05,669 --> 00:17:07,447
We forgot to check back in
with the kids again last night.
359
00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:10,107
Yeah, well, you know,
we were sort of busy.
360
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:14,478
Mm. Yeah, maybe it's...
maybe it's a good thing.
361
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,214
Before we know it, we'll be back
to being a two-man band again.
362
00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:19,550
Yeah, still feels weird, eh?
363
00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:21,018
Mm.
364
00:17:21,051 --> 00:17:22,161
- I'm gonna come back for coffee.
- Okay.
365
00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:23,620
- Oh.
- Hey!
366
00:17:23,653 --> 00:17:25,322
- Oh!
- Oh! Hi.
367
00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:26,566
Look at us
with our holiday friends.
368
00:17:33,230 --> 00:17:37,334
Ha!
369
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:39,470
Hon...
370
00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:41,905
- there is genuinely no point.
- There is!
371
00:17:41,938 --> 00:17:43,349
There's genuinely
no point in playing.
372
00:17:43,373 --> 00:17:44,617
- It's more fun.
- Thank you very much.
373
00:17:44,641 --> 00:17:46,610
I can't help my
amazing strength.
374
00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:49,146
- Can you not?
- You got to really whack it,
375
00:17:49,179 --> 00:17:50,914
or the ball won't respect you.
376
00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:52,583
- Is that right?
- Yes!
377
00:17:53,917 --> 00:17:55,194
- Oh, it's Luke.
- Oh!
378
00:17:55,218 --> 00:17:56,886
Hey, mate. Everything all right?
379
00:17:57,587 --> 00:17:59,422
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, it's fine.
380
00:17:59,856 --> 00:18:02,926
Yeah, just... just be careful.
I mean, not too careful.
381
00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:05,562
- Try and hit the speed limit.
- Tell him I love him.
382
00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:09,265
Yes, I will. And she
sends hers, yeah.
383
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:13,169
All righty, I love you,
mate. Speak soon. Bye-bye.
384
00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:15,181
He just wants to take
Maya somewhere in the car.
385
00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:16,473
Oh, that's sweet.
386
00:18:16,506 --> 00:18:18,575
Okay, so, nice volley, okay?
387
00:18:18,608 --> 00:18:21,311
Just a nice, simple...
388
00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:23,881
Fuck me, right? I mean,
like, who's over there?
389
00:18:23,914 --> 00:18:25,282
Go and get it.
390
00:18:25,315 --> 00:18:26,550
Don't drown.
391
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,128
Um...
392
00:18:38,161 --> 00:18:40,563
- Can we...
- Yeah.
393
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,943
So, you know the, um, the
course that I applied to
394
00:18:52,976 --> 00:18:54,878
the Manchester
one, the long shot?
395
00:18:54,911 --> 00:18:56,422
- Of course. Your dream course.
- Yeah.
396
00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:59,383
- Uh-huh.
- I, uh, I got a place, and...
397
00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:02,653
Lukey. Oh, my God.
That's... That's amazing!
398
00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:04,988
You star! Wait, why...
399
00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:06,332
Why didn't you tell
me this earlier?
400
00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,525
Well, I've been
thinking about it a lot,
401
00:19:08,558 --> 00:19:11,462
and, you know, I really wanna
be there for you and the baby.
402
00:19:11,495 --> 00:19:13,197
Nothing's more important.
403
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,165
This course could change
everything for you.
404
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:19,069
I don't wanna change
things. I wanna be with you.
405
00:19:19,102 --> 00:19:21,438
Yeah, and you will be,
just not in the same city.
406
00:19:21,471 --> 00:19:24,040
Oh, you... you really
can't turn this down.
407
00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:28,312
- I already have.
- You what?
408
00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:31,315
I emailed them saying that
I'm declining my place.
409
00:19:31,348 --> 00:19:33,050
- Have you gone mad?
- Well, I... I...
410
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,660
I did it for us. I did
it for all three of us.
411
00:19:34,684 --> 00:19:36,920
I can't believe
you've done this.
412
00:19:36,953 --> 00:19:39,189
And I can't believe
you're reacting like this.
413
00:19:39,222 --> 00:19:41,558
I don't want you to miss out
on an amazing opportunity.
414
00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:44,194
Yeah, and I'm willing to give
it up for you and the baby.
415
00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:47,164
Mm, no, don't make it my
responsibility, my fault,
416
00:19:47,197 --> 00:19:48,599
if you end up regretting it!
417
00:19:48,632 --> 00:19:50,467
Do you see how bad
that would be for me?
418
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,069
- No! I don't!
- You don't?
419
00:19:52,102 --> 00:19:53,437
No, I genuinely don't!
420
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:55,606
Look, I don't wanna keep
421
00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:57,474
banging on about the
pan-fried rabbit.
422
00:19:57,507 --> 00:19:59,276
- But...
- You bloody loved that rabbit.
423
00:19:59,309 --> 00:20:02,880
I just wanna know how do they
make food taste like that?
424
00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:04,023
Magic and loads of
salt and butter.
425
00:20:04,047 --> 00:20:05,449
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
426
00:20:05,482 --> 00:20:06,926
It's been a really
good day, hasn't it?
427
00:20:06,950 --> 00:20:08,585
- Yeah.
- No screaming children
428
00:20:08,618 --> 00:20:10,463
in the adults' pool earlier.
That was all down to you, Paul.
429
00:20:10,487 --> 00:20:12,189
- Well...
- You badass.
430
00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:13,933
Well, I'm just a concerned
citizen doing my little bit.
431
00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:15,034
- Yeah.
- You know, I don't...
432
00:20:15,058 --> 00:20:17,327
I don't seek
recognition for that.
433
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,597
Maybe a small, simple
gold statue of myself
434
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:22,341
over by the towels, but
nothing more, honestly.
435
00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:25,202
- Nothing more.
- It was a lot more peaceful.
436
00:20:25,235 --> 00:20:27,004
[Kirsty[ Oh, parents
can't expect their kids
437
00:20:27,037 --> 00:20:28,347
to have the run of
the whole hotel.
438
00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:31,074
- Exactly.
- People can be so entitled.
439
00:20:31,107 --> 00:20:33,343
- Yeah.
- You know, two arseholes
440
00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:34,420
stole our taxi yesterday when
we were coming from the beach.
441
00:20:34,444 --> 00:20:35,979
- Oh, yeah.
- Just took it.
442
00:20:36,012 --> 00:20:37,414
We were waiting
around for hours.
443
00:20:37,447 --> 00:20:40,150
- Oh, no.
- That's just awful.
444
00:20:40,183 --> 00:20:41,418
Yeah.
445
00:20:41,451 --> 00:20:43,987
Does, uh, anyone
fancy a nightcap?
446
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,123
Hey, there's karaoke
at the bar tonight.
447
00:20:46,156 --> 00:20:48,267
- There was a notice up.
- I don't know if I fancy that.
448
00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:49,602
- Uh...
- I was thinking a quiet drink.
449
00:20:49,626 --> 00:20:52,262
Yeah, w-well, we could...
we could go up to ours.
450
00:20:52,295 --> 00:20:55,299
Oh, yeah, we're... we're...
we're in the presidential suite.
451
00:20:55,332 --> 00:20:56,943
Oh, my God. You're in a suite.
452
00:20:56,967 --> 00:20:59,203
- That is epic. What's it like?
- It's lovely.
453
00:20:59,236 --> 00:21:00,580
Do you know what?
No, it's not lovely.
454
00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:02,548
- It is amazing.
- No, it's absolutely ridiculous.
455
00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:04,475
It's way too good for
us, but, um, yeah.
456
00:21:04,508 --> 00:21:06,310
You'd be welcome to
come up for a drink.
457
00:21:06,343 --> 00:21:07,878
- Sure.
- Yeah.
458
00:21:07,911 --> 00:21:09,279
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
459
00:21:09,312 --> 00:21:10,156
- Yeah, we'd love to.
- Great, well, let's do it.
460
00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:12,015
Yeah.
461
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:14,418
- Ooh.
- Ta-da!
462
00:21:15,619 --> 00:21:17,588
Oh!
463
00:21:17,621 --> 00:21:20,190
- Oh, my fucking God.
- Yeah.
464
00:21:20,223 --> 00:21:22,292
Nice.
Very presidential.
465
00:21:22,325 --> 00:21:23,603
Yeah, it's quite
something, isn't it?
466
00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:25,662
Would anyone like
presidential champagne?
467
00:21:25,695 --> 00:21:27,030
- Yes, please.
- Oh!
468
00:21:27,063 --> 00:21:27,940
- Yes, please.
- Thank you.
469
00:21:27,964 --> 00:21:31,001
- Coming right up.
- Wow.
470
00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:34,404
Um... do you
mind if I use your bathroom?
471
00:21:34,437 --> 00:21:35,939
Oh, yeah, it's just
on the next level.
472
00:21:35,972 --> 00:21:37,507
Okay.
473
00:21:46,550 --> 00:21:48,252
Oh, hon, they both go upstairs?
474
00:21:48,285 --> 00:21:50,320
- Yes, weirdly.
- Hmm.
475
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:52,156
Oh, would you get some
glasses, hon, please?
476
00:21:52,189 --> 00:21:54,258
- Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
477
00:21:56,626 --> 00:21:58,562
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
478
00:22:05,368 --> 00:22:07,303
Are they having a bath?
479
00:22:09,105 --> 00:22:11,107
I think we're all
gonna have a bath.
480
00:22:30,327 --> 00:22:32,128
Look at it.
481
00:22:36,466 --> 00:22:39,036
How long do we have to wait?
482
00:22:39,069 --> 00:22:40,303
God knows.
483
00:22:40,904 --> 00:22:45,075
Is it faster or slower when
it's two people instead of four?
484
00:22:45,108 --> 00:22:47,277
I've never
had a foursome.
485
00:22:47,310 --> 00:22:49,279
- Have you not?
- No.
486
00:22:49,312 --> 00:22:51,424
Well, that's that and the
ballet that I know about now.
487
00:22:53,316 --> 00:22:55,419
Oh, I hope they don't
steal all our stuff.
488
00:22:55,452 --> 00:22:57,654
I'd rather they stole our stuff
489
00:22:57,687 --> 00:23:02,593
than our... foursome virginity.
490
00:23:02,626 --> 00:23:04,595
I can't believe
they wanted to fuck us.
491
00:23:04,628 --> 00:23:06,463
No?
492
00:23:06,496 --> 00:23:08,398
I can. I'd fuck us.
493
00:23:08,431 --> 00:23:10,300
We're totally
fuckable people, babe.
494
00:23:11,935 --> 00:23:14,204
Oh, I'm having the
best time with you.
495
00:23:14,237 --> 00:23:16,439
Yeah, me, too.
496
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,343
I was sad that the
family holidays are over,
497
00:23:19,376 --> 00:23:22,412
- but this is just lovely.
- Yeah, it's lovely.
498
00:23:23,213 --> 00:23:25,382
- To us.
- To us.
499
00:23:25,415 --> 00:23:27,283
Twang.
500
00:23:30,487 --> 00:23:31,855
Mm.
501
00:23:32,122 --> 00:23:34,591
Ah.
502
00:23:34,624 --> 00:23:37,060
Oh, what's the time? I
left my phone in the room
503
00:23:37,093 --> 00:23:39,062
with the sexers.
504
00:23:39,095 --> 00:23:41,298
Oh, shit.
505
00:23:41,331 --> 00:23:43,633
- What is it?
- What the fuck?
506
00:23:46,503 --> 00:23:48,172
Do you see how bad
that would be for me?
507
00:23:48,205 --> 00:23:50,040
- No, I don't!
- You don't?
508
00:23:50,073 --> 00:23:52,543
No, I genuinely don't.
509
00:24:02,953 --> 00:24:03,620
Luke?
510
00:24:04,955 --> 00:24:06,089
Are you okay?
511
00:24:08,625 --> 00:24:11,528
I think my
waters have broken.
512
00:24:16,366 --> 00:24:18,335
- Do something, Luke.
- Is it, um...
513
00:24:18,368 --> 00:24:20,571
Call Mum.
514
00:24:20,604 --> 00:24:22,072
You sure it isn't
a really big wee?
515
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,216
- It's not a wee.
- Because sometimes the baby
516
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,942
can push on the bladder,
517
00:24:24,975 --> 00:24:27,010
- and it looks like...
- It isn't a wee, Luke!
518
00:24:27,043 --> 00:24:29,113
Oh, my God! Um...
519
00:24:29,146 --> 00:24:31,190
- I think the baby's coming.
- We've still got five weeks!
520
00:24:31,214 --> 00:24:33,016
- Call Mum.
- Mum's in Malta.
521
00:24:33,049 --> 00:24:35,152
- My mum!
- Oh, um...
522
00:24:35,185 --> 00:24:37,063
I'll run and get the car. I'll
be 10 minutes, tops, okay?
523
00:24:37,087 --> 00:24:39,132
- You come and sit back down.
- No, no, Luke, I-I need my mum.
524
00:24:39,156 --> 00:24:40,990
Can you just call
her? Please, now.
525
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:45,590
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