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1
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? MTV ?
2
00:00:19,841 --> 00:00:22,777
[rock music]
3
00:00:22,844 --> 00:00:27,082
? ?
4
00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:29,951
[intriguing otherworldly music]
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00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:37,159
? ?
6
00:00:42,531 --> 00:00:44,766
- Smart Butt-Head?
- Yes, Smart Beavis.
7
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Why have we been called today
before the Supreme Leaders?
8
00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:49,911
Surely to reward us
for our good work
9
00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:51,870
and many achievements in space.
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00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:53,730
Perhaps they will give us
a trophy.
11
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,490
Yes, the Supreme Leaders love us
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00:00:55,548 --> 00:00:57,017
because we are smart.
13
00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:01,700
So begins the trial
14
00:01:01,758 --> 00:01:04,494
of Smart Beavis
and Smart Butt-Head
15
00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:07,984
for crimes against Earth 327-Z.
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00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:11,004
This is the opposite
of what we expected.
17
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- Our logic was in error.
- Indeed so.
18
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This tribunal finds you guilty.
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- Guilty.
- Guilty!
20
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- Guilty.
- Guilty, mm-kay?
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Thoroughly at odds
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with the deontological theory
of law,
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as put forth
by Smart Emmanuel Kant.
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Well put, Smart Todd.
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You were supposed to have spent
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the last two years
27
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exploring the various universes
and what have you,
28
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,762
but all you've done is run up
an expense account
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00:01:38,818 --> 00:01:40,685
on space nachos
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00:01:40,743 --> 00:01:42,813
and intergalactic pornography.
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In our defense, Supreme Leader,
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we were observing the universe
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where Beavis and Butt-Head
are in middle age.
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Yes, at the height
of their powers.
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No one cares about that at all.
36
00:01:52,964 --> 00:01:56,200
I mean, come on,
just listen to yourselves.
37
00:01:56,251 --> 00:01:58,853
And now, the matter
of your punishment.
38
00:01:58,908 --> 00:02:03,212
Your sentence is death, mm-kay?
39
00:02:03,258 --> 00:02:04,626
Am I to understand
40
00:02:04,686 --> 00:02:06,788
that we are definitely not
getting a trophy, then?
41
00:02:06,845 --> 00:02:09,446
Your sentence will be suspended,
42
00:02:09,501 --> 00:02:11,302
and you will be permitted
to live,
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on the following condition.
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You must quit screwing around
and successfully complete
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one scientific mission.
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Your mission is as follows:
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You will go to Earth-1,
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00:02:22,119 --> 00:02:24,689
the planet they call
normal Earth,
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00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:27,613
and abduct a human
for scientific experiments.
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Failure will result
in disintegration, mm-kay?
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May science be with you.
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[dramatic music]
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- Very well.
- We must abduct a human.
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Set course for normal Earth.
55
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Whoopsie-daisy.
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Should we leave a space note
on their windshield?
57
00:02:49,282 --> 00:02:51,118
- No.
- That was humorous.
58
00:02:51,176 --> 00:02:52,978
- Quite humorous.
- Very droll indeed, yes.
59
00:02:55,128 --> 00:02:58,364
[country rock music]
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00:02:58,415 --> 00:03:01,084
? ?
61
00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:02,773
Who is this, Smart Butt-Head?
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00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:05,702
This is an Earthling
named Ronnie Dunn.
63
00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:07,990
He is a singer of country songs.
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00:03:08,045 --> 00:03:10,782
He is the best and smartest
that Earth has to offer.
65
00:03:10,835 --> 00:03:13,905
He has won 27
Academy of Country Music awards
66
00:03:13,957 --> 00:03:16,626
for masterworks
such as "Cost of Livin'"
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00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,382
and "Mama Don't Get Dressed Up
For Nothing."
68
00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:20,570
Ah, yes.
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00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:22,500
So country music has an academy?
70
00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:24,726
- Yes, they do.
- Perhaps we could teach there
71
00:03:24,782 --> 00:03:26,418
if they don't already have
instructors
72
00:03:26,476 --> 00:03:28,111
in non-gravitational propulsion
73
00:03:28,168 --> 00:03:31,005
or advanced mathematics
across fractional dimensions.
74
00:03:31,058 --> 00:03:33,160
We would instantly be
the smartest professors
75
00:03:33,216 --> 00:03:34,818
at the country music academy,
76
00:03:34,877 --> 00:03:36,378
for humans are stupid.
77
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:37,939
Yes, very stupid.
78
00:03:37,998 --> 00:03:40,167
Look at this one,
trying to wrestle a cow.
79
00:03:40,223 --> 00:03:41,792
Humorous, quite humorous.
80
00:03:41,851 --> 00:03:44,619
Which one is the human,
and which one is the cow?
81
00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:46,808
- Ah, yes, humorous.
- Quite jocular, yes.
82
00:03:46,865 --> 00:03:50,135
- That one appears smarter.
- He must be the cow.
83
00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:53,723
- Please stop, Smart Butt-Head.
- I need to catch my breath.
84
00:03:53,772 --> 00:03:54,907
Yes.
85
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:57,236
? He's walking to the left ?
86
00:03:57,293 --> 00:03:58,527
I don't know why,
87
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,890
but this music is making me
love America.
88
00:04:00,944 --> 00:04:02,980
This video also makes me want
89
00:04:03,036 --> 00:04:04,938
to worship the man
they call Jesus.
90
00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:06,431
Yes, yes indeed, yes.
91
00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:07,992
They have finally made music
92
00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:10,254
for ordinary space people
like us.
93
00:04:10,309 --> 00:04:12,411
Those of us
from the heartland of space
94
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,503
who work hard
and deserve to unwind.
95
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,628
Yes, yes.
96
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,990
? Where the whiskey flows ?
97
00:04:18,046 --> 00:04:19,781
I wish there was more footage
98
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,409
of the females in this video.
99
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:24,204
Yes, yes, it is a veritable
intergalactic festival
100
00:04:24,256 --> 00:04:25,824
of sausage, Smart Beavis.
101
00:04:25,884 --> 00:04:27,452
Ah, yes, yes, so called
102
00:04:27,511 --> 00:04:29,213
because an intergalactic sausage
103
00:04:29,271 --> 00:04:31,706
looks like a space penis,
yes, it does, yes.
104
00:04:31,761 --> 00:04:33,629
Quite humorous.
105
00:04:33,687 --> 00:04:36,323
Notice the females
are becoming intoxicated.
106
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,479
It is part of their ritual
of scoring.
107
00:04:38,536 --> 00:04:40,971
On this planet,
the slut is shamed.
108
00:04:41,026 --> 00:04:42,694
Ah, yes, yes, quite primitive,
109
00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:43,887
quite primitive.
110
00:04:43,948 --> 00:04:44,949
Yes.
111
00:04:45,011 --> 00:04:46,946
Your mother is a slut.
112
00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,005
I had non-procreational
sexual intercourse
113
00:04:49,062 --> 00:04:50,097
with your mother.
114
00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:51,359
Thank you, Smart Butt-Head.
115
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:53,122
I am honored, for on our planet,
116
00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:54,482
we have realized long ago
117
00:04:54,541 --> 00:04:56,009
that the slut
is not to be shamed,
118
00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,437
but to be honored.
119
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,867
Yes, and your mother
is quite honorable.
120
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,311
Again, thank you,
Smart Butt-Head.
121
00:05:02,346 --> 00:05:04,048
It is said that
there are more men
122
00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:05,540
that have been
inside your mother
123
00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:06,867
than there are Planck lengths
124
00:05:06,928 --> 00:05:10,098
in the entire diameter
of the universe.
125
00:05:10,149 --> 00:05:12,218
Let us talk more
about this video,
126
00:05:12,274 --> 00:05:14,576
Smart Butt-Head,
and not of my mother.
127
00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:17,202
Is this the cowboy's wife?
128
00:05:17,255 --> 00:05:20,258
I believe that it is called
a horse, Smart Beavis.
129
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:21,778
I did not ask you to evaluate
130
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:23,539
the wife's appearance,
Smart Butt-Head.
131
00:05:23,598 --> 00:05:25,733
I'm just asking,
are they married?
132
00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:27,458
- Humor detected.
- Yes, humorous.
133
00:05:27,516 --> 00:05:28,717
Quite humorous.
134
00:05:28,778 --> 00:05:30,447
Yes, yes, humorous in the way
135
00:05:30,505 --> 00:05:31,873
of the belt of the borscht.
136
00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:33,535
Yes, yes,
and the mountainous region
137
00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:35,162
- of the Catskills.
- Yes.
138
00:05:37,313 --> 00:05:40,216
[otherworldly music]
139
00:05:40,268 --> 00:05:47,442
? ?
140
00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:50,739
Let us now begin abducting,
Smart Beavis.
141
00:05:50,794 --> 00:05:52,663
Yes, yes, let it be so.
142
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,091
? ?
143
00:05:56,142 --> 00:05:59,345
We must find a human
to abduct, Smart Butt-Head.
144
00:05:59,395 --> 00:06:02,298
Smart Beavis, observe.
145
00:06:02,351 --> 00:06:03,786
And now, the winner
146
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:06,315
of the 35th annual
chili cook-off,
147
00:06:06,369 --> 00:06:08,371
Tom Anderson.
148
00:06:08,428 --> 00:06:10,397
[laughs] Thank you.
149
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,856
I owe it all to my brisket.
150
00:06:12,911 --> 00:06:14,846
Observe, Smart Butt-Head.
151
00:06:14,904 --> 00:06:16,705
We have arrived
on the coronation day
152
00:06:16,764 --> 00:06:18,065
of their king.
153
00:06:18,124 --> 00:06:19,659
How fortuitous.
154
00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:24,259
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