All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S11E19.The.Goat.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

[music playing]

- Hey, this pie looks good.

- Yeah, my mom
makes real good pie.

Oh, by the way, if
we should happen

to see my father
later on, maybe we

better not mention this to him.

I have a hunch he thought he was
going to get this for dessert.

- Well, maybe we
shouldn't eat it.

- Oh, that's OK.

He couldn't eat it all
for dinner, anyway.

It usually takes him
at least 'til midnight.

- [laughs]

[animal bleating]

Hey, looks like we've
got another customer.

[goat bleats]

- Well, hi, little fella,
where'd you come from?

- Oh, isn't he cute?

- He looks kind of hungry.

You see any tin cans around?

- I don't think they eat tin
cans until they get older.

I wonder where he comes from.

He looks like he's lost.

- Well, there's
no use asking him.

He doesn't seem
to be saying much.

- Oh, he's a cute little guy.

I wonder who he belongs to.

I'd sure like to
have him for a pet.

- What about your other pets?

All those animals your
kid brother collects?

- We're one big happy family.

They're all very sociable.

I wonder what we ought to do.

We just can't leave him here.

- Come on, buster.

Remember, she's my date.

- Hi, folks.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Well, I see you've
got a visitor.

- Yeah, does this little
guy belong to you?

- Yeah, I've been
looking all over for him.

I didn't think he
could run this far.

- Well, it looks like
you just lost a goat.

- I was just about
to kidnap him.

How old is he?

- Well, let me see.

Uh, he'll be three days old
at 6 o'clock this evening.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Do you live very
far from here?

- Oh, no, uh, just across
the road and down a ways.

This is the first
time he's run off.

- Do you have any more
like him on your farm?

- Oh, yes, we've got
quite a few of 'em.

- Now, don't get any ideas.

- Well, I was just asking.

- Well, take a look, buddy,
here's your new home.

Good luck when you
meet the family.

- They'll love him.

Don't you think so?

- Well, he might be a
bigger hit if he had a bath.

He's starting to smell a
little bit like a goat.

- Well, now cut that out.

You want to hurt his feelings?

- Well, nothing
personal, buster.

I have a hunch I'm going
to need one myself.

Well, should we go in and
introduce him to your father?

- Oh, no, wait a
minute, not just yet.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it's just that I think
we better do this gradually.

Daddy's been a little
touchy about animals lately.

- I know what you mean.

Does your brother
still have the duck?

- Oh, yes, and the baby pig
and a box full of lizards.

- Well, what do you want to do?

- Well, why don't you
two wait here a minute,

and I'll let you know
when the coast is clear?

- What if he says no?

- Then you've got
yourself a goat.

- Hi, Peggy.

- Oh, hi, Cam.

Hey, what you got in the box?

- It's a dead skunk.

Do you want to see him?

- No, thanks.

- He's been defrosted.

- No, thanks.

- I guess this is kind
of bad timing, huh?

- The worst.

Would you do me a big favor?

- Well, OK, but only
for a day or two.

Look, buster, I think it might
be a good idea if you just

stay out here while I go in
and break the news gently.

- Hi, Rick.

- Oh, hi, Pop.

- Who's your friend?

- Well, he's not
really a friend.

You might say he's a
friend of a friend.

He belongs to Peggy.

- Oh, what's he doing over her?

- Well, he's going
to be our house

guest for a couple of days.

- Oh, no, he isn't.

- Oh, hi, Mom.

- He may be a guest, but you
keep him out of the house.

- Not so loud, Mom.

You'll hurt his feelings.

- He sure is a cute little guy.

- Yeah, he sure is.

- Am I right in
assuming he's a goat?

- Well, yeah, he's
only three days old.

- What's he doing here?

- Oh, he belongs to Peggy.

It's kind of a long story.

- I'll be right down.

- Maybe you better try
out the story on me first.

- Well, actually, it's
not much of a story.

I went out on this date
with Peggy this afternoon.

- And you came home with a goat?

- Well, uh, yeah.

We were having sort of a picnic
when this goat wandered up,

and then the farmer that owned
him came along and gave him

to Peggy.

But just as we drove
up to her house,

her kid brother came
along with a skunk.

So I agreed to keep the goat
for her for a couple of days.

- Uh, look, uh, why don't we all
hide in the garage for a while

until you can think
of a better story?

- Hey, Pop, it's true.

Come on, buster,
drink your milk.

Come on.

Go on.

- He must be hungry.
I know I am.

- You're next.

- I wonder why he won't eat.

I was sure he'd like milk.

- Say, a thought
just occurred to me.

We're probably just
using the wrong method.

- I think you're right.

OK, mother.

- Thank you, dear.

- Oh, thanks, Mom.

- Oh.

[laughs]

- That's what he wanted.

- It sure was.

Say, which brings up an
interesting question.

How do you burp a baby goat?

- I don't know.

We'll soon find out.

[goat bleats]

- Uh, Harriet?

- Where have you been?

- Oh, I've been reading about
goats in the encyclopedia.

Did you know they're ruminants?

- Oh, that's very interesting.

What does it mean?

- Well, they have
several stomachs.

See, when they eat, the
food goes in one stomach--

- Never mind.

I'm sorry I asked.

- [laughs]

[goat bleating]

- Did you hear anything?

- Yeah, it sounds
like the goat crying.

[goat bleating]

Well, I wonder what's
wrong with him.

- Maybe he's hungry again.

- We just fed him
a few hours ago.

- Well, you probably have
to fill up those other three

stomachs.

- Gee, I wonder how often we're
going to have to feed him.

- Well, I don't know.

I know you have to feed
babies every four hours,

and they've only
got one stomach.

[goat bleating]

- Well, he's obviously
hungry again.

- OK, daddy, he's all yours.

- That's where you're wrong.

He's not mine.

And I'll be darned if
I'm going to go down

the middle of the night and
warm up a bottle to feed

Ricky's girlfriend's goat.

- Well, don't look at me.

- I'm not looking at you.

I'm looking at Ricky.

Where is he?

- Oh, he's been
asleep for hours.

- Oh, well, good for him.

[goat bleating]

Rick?

Rick?

- Harriet, what are you doing?

- What are you doing?

- Well, I'm waking Ricky up.

- Well, don't do that.

- Well, why not?

- He's asleep.
- Well, of course, he's asleep.

That's the reason
I'm waking him up.

- Well, it won't hurt us to
feed the goat just this once.

- Harriet.

- We can take it in shifts.

- OK, I'll take the
first shift in bed.

[music playing]

[groans]

[goat bleating]

- Oh, good morning, dear.
- Oh, hi, Mom.

[phone ringing]

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Peggy.

Oh, yeah, he's fine.

Oh, well, that's good news.

When can I bring him over?

Oh.

Well, yeah, no, that's OK.

No, no trouble at all.

Well, I'll talk to you later.

OK, bye.

- What happened?

- Oh, her brother
gave away his pig.

Well, that is, he didn't
exactly give it away.

He traded it for some pigeons.

- Oh, great.

What about the goat?

- Well, that's what
she wanted to know,

if we'd take care of them
for a couple of more days

until she gets a chance
to talk to her father.

- Well, OK.

[alarm ringing]

[alarm stops]

[goat bleating]

[goat bleating]

- Hey, Peggy?

- Oh, hi, Rick.

- I've been looking
all over for you

for the last couple of days.
Where you been?

- Oh, I've been around.

- Well, I haven't seen you.

- Maybe that's because I've
been trying to avoid you.

- Well, how come?

- I feel a little
guilty about you having

to keep the goat for so long.

- Well, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

He's a cute little guy, but
it's getting a little tough.

It's not fair to my
mother and father.

- I know.

- Well, I was just wondering
when you're going to take him.

- I don't know
what to say, Rick.

I was going to ask
my father yesterday,

but he got bitten by
my brother's duck.

- Oh, gee, whereabouts?

- In the backyard.

- No, I mean-- no, never mind.

- Naturally, he wasn't in
too good a mood after that.

And then I was going to
ask him this morning,

but the dog chewed up
his bedroom slippers.

- Well, I didn't
know you had a dog.

- My sister brought one
home yesterday, a puppy.

- Well, what about the goat?

- Well, I figured maybe I
better wait a little longer.

- Well, you keep saying that.

How much longer?

- I don't know.

- Well, why didn't
you think about this

before you talked the
farmer into giving you

the goat in the first place?

- I guess it was a little silly.

- Yeah, I guess it was.

- But I really wanted him.

- Well, then why
don't you take him?

- OK, I will, and
stop shouting at me.

- I'm not shouting.

Look, I'll go home and get
him right after my next class.

- It sounds like you're
trying to get rid of him.

- Well, I am.
- What's the matter?

Don't you like him?

- Of course, I like
him, but he's not mine.

He's yours.
- Well, OK, you can keep him.

I'll give him to you.
That'll solve the whole problem.

- OK.

- OK.

[music playing]

- The way I feel
right now, I don't

care if I ever see her again.

- Look, I'm sorry you
two had an argument.

I hope you get everything
straightened out.

But in the meantime,
what about the goat?

- Yeah, that's a good question.

What about the goat?

- I wish I had a good answer.

Or any kind of an answer.

- Well, why don't you just
take him back to the farmer?

- Gee, I'd hate to do that.

That's so far away.

I'd kind of like to
have someplace where

I can see him once in a while.

Hey, maybe Dave and June
would like to have him.

- In their apartment?
- Why not?

They don't allow dogs, but
it doesn't say anything

about keeping goats.

- Oh, I don't think he'd be
very happy in a small apartment.

- Neither would Dave and June,
especially in the wintertime

with the windows closed.

- [mumbles] Why didn't
I think of this before?

- Yeah, why didn't you?

What is it?

- Well, why don't I take him
over to the fraternity house?

I'll bet the guys would love
to have him for a mascot.

- You know, that is a good idea.

- Yeah, and then you could
see him any time you want to,

and yet he wouldn't be
underfoot all the time.

- Yeah, I think he'd
like it over there, too.

After all, he's kind of gotten
used to the comforts of home.

- Hey, you, get off of there.

- Look, Rick, there are no
goats allowed in the fraternity.

- There's nothing
about it in the bylaws.

I looked it up.

- I say if he's got
the grades, let him in.

- Hey, we could be the first
fraternity to pledge a goat.

- I think he'd make
a darn good mascot.

The Sigma Chis had
a monkey last year.

- Yeah, but he could
play gin rummy.

[laughter]

- You must admit he's
a cute little guy.

- Yeah, he really is.

- Well, what do you say?

Shall we swear him in
as our official mascot?

- Well, it's OK with me as long
as you keep him at your house.

- What are you talking about?

There's plenty of room
for him over here.

There's a fenced-in yard, lots
of guys to take care of him.

And when he gets a little older,
he can trim the lawn for us.

- Well, he sounds like
a lot of trouble to me.

- Are you kidding?

How much trouble can
a little goat be?

- Yeah, which brings up
an interesting point,

just how big does he get
when he's full grown?

- Not very big.

- No bigger than a small horse.

[laughter]

- With two nice little
horns on his head.

- Yeah, your life wouldn't
be worth a dime around here.

You bend over to tie
your shoe and zooh!

- What difference
does that make to you?

You haven't been able to
bend over for years anyway.

- That's beside the point.

- He'd probably butt
Wally in the stomach.

- Oh, cut it out.
You're making me ache all over.

[laughs]

- Will you guys
stop fooling around?

- Whose bid is it?

- I think he'd make
a darn good mascot.

- Look, Rick, who
are you kidding?

You're just trying
to palm him off on us

because you're stuck with him.
- OK, have it your way.

- Uh, pardon me, gentlemen.

We have some visitors.
- Visitors?

Who are they?
- Where?

- Uh, they're young ladies,
sir, from the Tri-Del house.

They're out in the hall.
- Sounds interesting.

- Well, let's see what
this is all about.

Well, hello there, girls.
- Hi!

- Won't you come
in and sit down?

It's against the rules,
but come on in anyway.

- Oh, that's all right.
We can't stay.

- We just stopped by to tell you
we're going to have open house

Saturday.
- Hey, that sounds great.

- Yeah.
- Hi, girls.

- Hi, Rick.
- Aw.

- Isn't he cute?

- Can I hold him, please?

- Sure.

- Oh, look at his eyes.

Isn't he darling?

- Oh, Betty's just
got to see him.

- Yeah.

- Oh, let me hold
him for a minute.

- Betty, Helen, Judy,
come on in a minute.

- Look at his little ears.
They're so cute.

- Look what we got.
- Aw.

[chatter]

- Who does he belong to?

- He belongs to me.

- No.

That is, he used
to belong to Rick.

Now he's our new
fraternity mascot.

Isn't he, fellas?
- Yeah.

- Aw.

- Hi, Rick.

- Hi, Dave.

Hi, Mom.

Uh, what brings you over here?

- I just stopped by
to say hello and take

a look at this
goat of yours I've

been hearing so much about.

- Oh, I'm afraid
you're a little late.

He's over at the
fraternity house.

He's our new mascot.
- Oh, that's wonderful.

Did the boys give him
much of an argument?

- Well, they did at
first, but then some girls

came in and made a
big fuss over him,

and that kind of
decided the issue.

- Well, I must
admit it's a relief.

I hope they take
good care of him.

- Oh, don't worry, Mom.

- Do they know he has to be
fed every couple of hours?

- Yeah, I gave them
all the information.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

I think I just
heard him come in.

Just a second, I'll make sure.

Uh, Rick?

- Yeah?

- Oh, uh, telephone.

- Who is it?
Do you know?

- Peggy.
- Peggy?

- Yeah, you know, the girl
you never want to see again.

Shall I tell her you're
too busy to talk to her?

- That's OK.

I'll talk to her.

Hi, Peggy.

- Hi, Rick.

I just want you to know I'm
awfully sorry about yesterday.

I-- I sure acted silly.

And if you agree with me
this time, I won't get mad.

- Oh, uh, would you
hold on a second?

Uh, she's just
calling to apologize.

- Oh, great.

- Uh, it's kind of personal.

- Oh.

Well, if you insist, I--

I hate to miss out
on this, though.

- Thanks, Pop.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Gee, I sure am glad you called.

The whole thing was
really my fault.

- Well, I guess we both
were a little upset.

- Oh, yeah.

Hey, if you're not
busy later, why don't I

come over and pick you up?

We can go out and have
a malt or something.

- Sounds great.
I was hoping you'd say that.

Oh, and listen, will you bring
our little friend along, too?

- You mean the goat?

- Yeah, I finally got up
enough nerve to ask my father,

and he said OK.

- Oh, great.

How'd that happen?

- I don't know.

I just asked him,
and he said yes.

Will you bring him
over tonight then?

- Well, why don't I
bring him over tomorrow?

That might be better.

- Oh, why can't you
bring him over tonight?

- Well, OK, but it may
take me a little while.

I've got a few
things to do first,

and I haven't had dinner yet.

- Well, don't be too long now.

I'm just dying to see him.

Oh, you, too, of course.

- Yeah, OK, so long.

- Is everything under control?

- Almost.

My problem's reversed now.

I've got the girl
but lost the goat.

Peggy wants me to take the
goat over to her house tonight,

and he's over at the fraternity.

- Well, it doesn't
sound any worse than one

of your usual problems.

- Anyway, I've got to go over
and get him right after dinner.

Do you want to come along?
- Yeah, I might as well.

June's playing bridge tonight.

Besides, it'll give me a chance
to see what he looks like.

I'll pick you up
in about an hour.

- OK.

- You know, married
life is fine,

but I kind of miss
the chaos that

goes on when you're single.

See you later.

- So long.

[music playing]

- Hey, what the heck
is going on in there?

- I don't know.
- Oh, hi, Rick.

Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Wally.

- Hi, fellas.
- What's going on?

- Oh, we're having a goat dance.

- We girls prefer to
call it a mascot dance.

- We're having a little
impromptu celebration

for our new mascot.

And, boy, the girls are
sure crazy about it.

- Have you seen him, Dave?

- No, not yet.

- Isn't he the cutest
thing you ever saw?

- Yeah, he sure is.

- Hi, Dave.

- Oh, hi, Charlie.

- Boy, I'm sure glad you
talked us into keeping him.

- Oh, well, yeah.

- We're going to get a
little publicity in the paper

tomorrow, too.

- Yeah, we're also going
to sponsor a contest

to find the goat
girl of the year.

- I'm still not sure
I want to be in that.

- You better tell 'em, Rick.

- Tell me what?

- Well, I've got a
little bad news for you.

I've got to take the goat back.

- What do you mean
take him back?

You gave him to us.

- See, that's just it.

He really didn't belong
to me in the first place.

- You must be kidding.
You can't do that.

- He's our goat, and
we're not giving him back.

We've already entered him in
the campus mascot contest.

- What contest?
- The one we're organizing.

- Well, you can
get another goat.

I have to take this one
back to where he belongs.

- Uh, Rick.

- Hey, do you
think he's kidding?

- Well, I don't know, but we're
going to stand guard here just

in case he isn't.

[music playing]

- I got to get that goat.

He belongs to Peggy, and I
promised I'd get him back

to her tonight.

- Well, I know, but it's
obvious you're not going to talk

'em out of it.

- Well, then what
am I going to do?

- Well, as your lawyer, I might
advise more legitimate tactics.

But as your brother, I
suggest we try and steal him.

- It's OK with me.

- Well, our first
problem is to figure out

some way of getting everybody
out of the living room.

[music playing]

[bell ringing]

- Refreshments,
everybody, right this way.

- Right this way.
- In the dining room.

- In the dining room.
[chatter]

- Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

We don't have any refreshments
in the dining room.

Everything we have
is right here.

[music playing]

- Hey, who opened the window?

[chatter]

- Where are you going, Rick?

- Oh, uh, no place.

Everybody, dance.

- I don't get it.
What are you going to do?

- Well, I just thought
of a wonderful way

to clear everybody out
of the living room.

[music playing]

You sure he's been deodorized?

- Absolutely, the
vet guaranteed it.

- Well, here we go.

I know you've been turned
off, Stinky, but wave

your tail a little, anyway.

What's your guess?

- I'd say right about now.

[screams]

- Isn't it wonderful?

We're all together again.

- Yeah.

[goat bleating]

- I feel kind of sorry for the
boys of the fraternity, though.

Now they don't have a mascot.

- Oh, I wouldn't
worry about that.

As soon as I present
them with an affidavit

from the veterinarian,
you'll probably

get an invitation to our
first annual skunk dance.

- [laughs] He sure caused a
riot there tonight, didn't he?

- He sure did.

I never saw a place clear
out so fast in my life.

Hey, how did Stinky
get out of the car?

- Are you kidding?

He's right in the
back seat here.

- Well, then who was that?

And that?

- Do you get the feeling we
ought to get out of here?

- Quickly and quietly.

[goat bleating]

"Baa" yourself.

[music playing]

- I hate to brag, but we've got
some awfully good basketball

players in our family.

They never miss.

That is, almost never.

Of course, everybody
misses once in a while.

Oh, well.

If at first you don't succeed.

Let's see, it looks
like everything's here,

including milk.

And when the athletes come
in to get something to eat,

you can bet they'll
want plenty of milk.

It seems like only yesterday
they were just two little guys.

Even then, they were
full of vitality.

Whoop!

I'll say this for old dad,
he's had a rough time,

but he's always done his best
to keep up with the boys.

And believe me, that
takes a lot of vitality.

In fact, all us
Nelsons have always

had plenty of the vitality
that keeps us enjoying life.

And for that, we can thank the
pitcher of milk that's always

been on the Nelson table.

Because the way this
group burns up energy,

milk's the one
drink that gives us

the lasting vitality we need.

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the
American Dairy Association,

representing the dairy
farmers in your area.

- Be sure to keep an extra
supply of milk on hand

for the weekend.

[music playing]