All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S11E18.The.Adventurers.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

[gentle music]

- Come on, will you, Joe?

- Don't you have any
more silver polish?

- Well, I gave you half
a can of the stuff.

- This thing was all tarnished.

- How could it get
tarnished in 3 weeks?

- Well, in spite of what
the trophy committee says,

I don't think this
is solid silver.

- Come on, will you?

If you polish it any
more, it will disappear.

Come on.

- OK, OK.

- Now, this looks pretty good.

- You talk about me.

The way you pamper
that dead fish.

- Joe, please.

You'll hurt his feelings.

- Hi, Mr. Randolph, Mr. Nelson.

- Hi, Barry.

- Hi, Barry.

- Hey, what's that?

- Oh, just a little
fish I caught.

Oh come on, Oz,
don't be so modest.

That's the trout that
won the Men's Club Trout

Derby this year, and
Mr. Nelson caught it.

- No kidding!

- That's right.

- Well, Oz, aren't you going
to tell him about my trophy?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

That's an imitation
solid silver trophy.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Mr. Randolph won at the
Men's Club Bowling Tour.

- I thought I did a
better job on your fish,

but thanks anyway.

- It looks very
nice, Mr. Randolph.

- Thanks, Barry.

We were invited to
put these on display

at the Sportsman's Exhibit.
- No kidding.

Where is it?
- Down at the Men's Club.

You ought to get your father
to take you down there tonight.

- Yeah, it's going to
be pretty interesting.

Some of the biggest
sportsmen around

are going to take
part in the project.

- Oh, well, thank you, Oz.

That's a little better.

- We have to get down there a
little early if we wanna get

a good spot for our exhibits.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Yeah?

- Is it all right if I
tell everybody I know you?

- Oh, sure.

- Gee, thanks.

Bye!

- Bye.

There's something
about that kid I like.

[gentle music]

- Well, hi, girls.
- Hi.

- Oh, hi, Doc.

- I really didn't expect
you girls would make it.

- Are you kidding?

We got orders from our husbands.
- Yeah.

Be here or else.

- Where are they, anyway?

- Uh, down there a
little ways on the right.

You can't miss 'em.

- Oh, yeah.
- Come on, I'll show you around.

- Thanks.

- Oh, it looks very interesting.

- There you go, feller.

- Hi, Rocky.
- Hi, Doc.

- Rocky, I'd like
to have you meet

a couple of friends of mine.

This is Mrs. Nelson
and Mrs. Randolph.

- Howdy.
- How are you?

- How do you do?

- This is Rocky Callahan.

He's a bulldogging champion.
- Oh.

- Oh my goodness.

Do you really wrestle
all those big cows?

- Uh, yes, ma'am, only
we call 'em steers.

- Well, isn't that dangerous?

- Well, we manage to
live through it, ma'am.

- Well, it's nice
to have met you.

- Thank you.
Nice to have met you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- So long.
- Beautiful trophy.

- Thank you.

- This is Walter
Norris's equipment.

He discovered a sunken treasure
ship off the coast of Africa.

- Oh, yes, I read about him.

- Here's something I
think will interest you.

Believe it or not,
a couple of guys

went down the Colorado
River in that.

- No kidding!

- I didn't realize there'd be so
many interesting exhibits here.

- Well, thanks.

I'm glad you like them.

Oh, they're showing
a film on sky diving

about 15 minutes from now.

- Sky diving?
- Yeah.

You know, the guys who bail out
of airplanes, delayed parachute

jumps?
- Oh, yes.

I've seen those on television.

- Oh, there's Joe and Ozzie.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll catch
up with you later.

I got a few things to do.
- Thanks a lot, Doc.

- Yeah, thanks.
- OK.

- Hi!

- Oh, hi, girls.

- Oh, hi, girls.

Uh, should we get on home?

- What's your hurry?

- We haven't even seen
your exhibits yet.

- You've seen them at home.

- It's nothing.

- I didn't see Ozzie's fish.

- It's nothing.

It's right over there.

- Well, come on.
I wanna see it.

- It's a fish.

You've seen one,
you've seen 'em all.

- Oh, Ozzie, it's tremendous!

- Uh, Clara.

- Oh, and isn't that cute?

That's a baby you.

- No, no, no, Clara.

That's Ozzie's fish.

- Oh, Ozzie, I'm terribly sorry.

- Oh [laughs nervously].
That's OK.

I'm getting used to it by now.

- Well, I do think they
could have hung the big one

someplace else.

- Or at least shut his mouth.

- Come on, let's go home.
- No, no, no, wait.

The girls haven't
seen your trophy yet.

- Well, it's getting late.

- It's right over here, girls.

[playful music]

- Oh, here it is!

- Well, they needed something
to put the straws in.

- Oh, hi, boys.

- We saw your fish, Mr. Nelson.

- Yeah.

It sure was little.

- I told you not to
hurt his feelings.

We'll see you later.

- OK, boys.

- OK.

You know, I hate to say
this, but this whole affair

has been very badly handled.

- It's ridiculous.

Let's get my fish
and get outta here.

- Well, I'll tell
you one thing, you

could never get me on
one of those ski jumps.

- Me, either.

And can you imagine climbing
into one of those racing cars?

- Well, I lied with
that cute driver,

the one with the lightning
flashes on his helmet.

- What's so great about that?

I've got a saber-toothed
tiger on my bowling shirt.

- He was hoping the waitresses
would call him Tiger,

but they call him
Pussycat instead.

- Now, just a second, Clara.

- Uh, Harriet, what do you think
I ought to do with this fish?

- Well, aren't you gonna put it
back on the mantle in the den?

- Oh, it's awfully small.

- Well, now that you get it
away from that whale down there,

it's starting to look big again.

- Oh, I'll get cookies and milk.

- Oh, yeah, sounds great.

- Don't worry about
straws, Joe's got plenty.

- Personally, I think
those great big trophies

are ridiculous.

- Were you thinking about that
guy with the phony yachting

cap?
- Yeah.

Can you imagine a tremendous
big trophy like that

just for sailing a little boat?

- Around the world!

- OK.

I still think it's in bad taste.

- Did you hear anything that
sounded like sour grapes just

then, Harriet?

- Could be.

- Joe is right, though.

Some of those guys were
taking it pretty big.

You'd think they were
the only ones who'd

ever done anything exciting.

- Yeah.

- What do you mean yeah?

What did you ever do
that was exciting?

- Well, I did one thing
that took plenty of courage.

- Such as what?

- I married you.

- Besides that.

- Oh, lots of things.

Can I help but if I'm too
modest to mention them all?

- That's right.
There's no sense bragging.

- About what?

- About anything.

- Tell them something you
don't wanna brag about, Oz.

- Uh, well, let's see.

- He dove off that high tower
at the lake one 4th of July.

I saw him.

- That's right.

- Did you dive or did you jump?

- He was pushed.

- I dove.

It was a beautiful swan
dive, and plenty high, too.

- Well, David went
off it, didn't he?

- Well, David's a
big guy with muscles.

- He was 12 years
old at the time.

- But very big for his age.

- We can't win here.

You realize that, don't you, Oz?

- Come on, you guys.

We're just kidding.

- That's right.

Even though you are
chicken, we wouldn't

want you any other way.

- It's not a matter
of being chicken.

A married man with a
family and responsibilities

has no right taking ridiculous
chances just to show off.

- That's right.

When you're single,
it's different.

You can do all that stuff--
mountain climbing, ski jumping.

- That's right.

- Look, if you guys want
to live dangerously,

don't let us stop you.

- You know, you're right, Joe.

Look, why don't we get
out in the malt shop

and get a couple of
quarts of ice cream

and cool these girls off?

- Right.

What flavor do you like?

- I don't care.

- Uh, how about some
tutti-frutti pecan with some

of that marshmallow
ripple mixed through it?

- Oh, I take it back.

You do like to live
dangerously, don't you?

[playful music]

- Hi, Jack.

- Hi, Jack.

- What'll you have?

- Oh, I don't know.

How about a quart of vanilla
and chocolate and some chocolate

syrup?
- Sounds good.

How about a couple of chocolate
malts while we're waiting?

- Uh, you think we should?

- Well, why not?

We owe it to ourselves after the
beating we took this evening.

- OK, a couple of
chocolate malts.

- OK.
- Wanna sit down?

- Yeah.

- Well, at least the wives
had a good time tonight.

- Yeah, we sure handed them
a couple of good laughs.

- And, you know, they'd be the
first ones to worry if we did

decide to do
something dangerous.

- You can say that again.

I can just see Clara letting
me go climb the Himalayas.

She panics when I put the star
on top of the Christmas tree.

- I know what you mean.

And that's what makes it
kind of frustrating, too.

After all, there's a little
adventure in all of us.

When you get older and have
a wife and responsibilities,

what chance have you got?

- Yeah, I know.

I heard you when you
used that excuse before.

- Well, I figure if I
say it often enough,

I'll convince myself.

- You know what I've
always wanted to do?

- What's that?
- You won't laugh now?

- No, no.

- Well, I've always wanted
to be a bullfighter.

- No kidding.
- Now, cut it out.

You're laughing.
- No, no, no.

I'm not laughing at you.

I'm laughing with you.

- Oh, I'm not laughing.

I'm serious.

I've always wanted
to fight the bulls.

But now I guess I'm
a little too old.

Unfortunately.

- Hey, you mean luckily.

- Yeah.

Maybe it does sound
a little better to me

now that I'm too old.

- Here you are, gentlemen.
- Oh, thank you, Jack.

- Thanks, Jack.

- Say, Jack, tell me something.

Have you ever had a desire to
do something really dangerous,

like fight a bull or
wrestle a crocodile?

- Gee, I'm glad you reminded me.

I gotta get a birthday
card for my wife's mother.

- Oh, we might as
well face it, Oz.

No guy our age thinks about
doing any of those things.

- Uh, yeah.

I guess you're right.

Why don't we just
forget about it,

relax, and enjoy
our twilight years?

- Oh, no.

Look, Oz, it may be the
middle of the afternoon,

but it's not twilight.

- Hi, fellas.
- Oh, hi, Doc.

- Hi, Doc.

Sit down.

- Yeah, join us.

- Ah, so this is where
you guys disappeared to.

And how come you left so early?

You could have stayed
and won the booby prize.

- Oh, come on now, Doc.

We've had enough
ribbing for one night.

We're just a little out
of our class down there.

- It did have some pretty
interesting exhibits.

- Yeah, I thought so.

- Uh, Joe and I
were just talking.

It's kind of a shame we
didn't get out and try

some of those things
when we were younger.

- What's wrong with right now?

- Oh, what do you mean?

- Well, have you guys ever
thought of doing any skydiving?

- What?
- Skydiving?

- Sure.

You know, bailing out of
a plane with a parachute?

- He's been sniffing
that ether again.

- Oh, I'm not kidding.

Now, I belong to this
club at the airport.

I've been going down there for,
oh, a couple of months now.

- Well, how come you
never mentioned it?

- Well, I don't go down
there just to brag about it.

I go for the thrill.

Uh, here's my membership card.

- Hey, he isn't kidding.

Oh, it's easy to join.

Hey, why don't you guys come
down with me tomorrow morning?

- Oh.

Uh, gee, I don't know--

- There's no obligation, Oz.

Come on down, look around.

We can arrange for you to have a
couple of lessons, take a jump.

See how you like it.

- Oh, uh, uh, how high
do they jump from?

- Well, the first jump
is about 2,500 feet.

- Eh!

Uh, well, what do
you think, Joe?

- Uh, well, it's
kind of short notice.

- Yeah.

Actually it's short notice.
I--

- Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll drop by in the morning.

If you wanna go, fine.

If you don't, oh,
I'll understand.

See you in the morning.

- Well, OK, Doc.

- OK, Doc.

Well, there's the opportunity
we've been looking for.

- Yeah.

Sounds very interesting.

At least it's good
to know we're not

too old for that kind of thing.

- Oh, oh, yeah.

Uh, how high is 2,500 feet?

- Oh, about half a mile.

- Yeah.

So that must be quite a thrill.

- Yeah.

- Oh, come on.

Let's drink up and get outta
here before he comes back.

[music playing]

Uh, Joe, uh, I've been thinking.

There's no sense
worrying the wives

about this skydiving business.

Why don't we just not
mention it to them?

- That's fine with me.

And just in case we
chicken out, they'll

never know we were asked.

- Well, that's not the point.

It's just we don't
wanna worry them.

Hey, here's an idea.

Tomorrow morning, why don't
we get our golf stuff together

and leave the house
the same as usual,

just as if we were
going to play golf?

- Yeah.

And to make it look
really convincing,

let's forget about Doc
and actually play golf.

- Well, if you insist.

- You know, Oz, that's one thing
I've always liked about you--

you're just as big
a hero as I am.

- Hey, you gotta hand
it to Doc, though.

He's got a lotta nerve.

- Yeah, I know.

That's pretty dangerous stuff.

- You're not kidding.

- Oh, here they are, Harriet.

- Oh, hi, fellas.

We were just talking about you.

- Well, that figures.

Who else have you been
talking about all evening?

- No, we really mean it.

- That's right.

We feel we owe you an apology.

- Uh, careful, Joe.

This may be a trap of some sort.

- Oh, don't be so suspicious.

- No, we decided we've
been a little rough on you

guys tonight.

After all, you could do some
of those dangerous things,

too, if you weren't
thinking about us.

- That's right.

All those other men were
being just plain selfish.

- Selfish?
- Sure.

They were just
thinking of themselves,

but you fellas have some
consideration for your wives.

In fact, you're always doing
thoughtful little things

for us.

- Uh, like what?

- Well, like going all the
way down to the malt shop

just to get us some ice cream?

- Did you bring it?

- You know darn well I didn't.

- We must have forgotten it.

- Well, I would've
forgotten it too

if I'd just finished a
great big chocolate malt.

- What did you girls do,
follow us down there?

- No.

Jack called just
before you got here.

He's bringing the
ice cream right over.

- Well, anyway, it
wasn't the chocolate malt

that made me forget.

It was that darn Doc Williams.

- Well, what's he got to do
with it, for heaven's sake?

- Uh, didn't Jack tell you?

- Tell us what?

- Uh, nothing, nothing at all.

- No, it was really nothing.

- Harriet, do you wanna wait
till Jack gets here, or shall

we call the malt shop now?

- All right, all right.

Goodness' sakes, there
was really nothing to it.

- It's just that Doc wants to go
with him tomorrow and jump out

of an airplane.

Do what?

- Jump our of a plane.

You know, skydive, like
one of your big heroes

over there at the sports show.

- Well, what's Doc
got to do with it?

- Well, he belongs
to a skydiving club,

and apparently they
meet every weekend.

- Doc?

I can't believe it.

He just doesn't
seem like the type.

- Oh, it's those quiet
ones that'll surprise you.

It's the big blowhards
that never do anything.

- I am not a blowhard.

- I didn't mention any names.

- Well, you're just
kidding, aren't you?

I mean, you're not
really considering it.

- Well, it's certainly
something to think about.

- Sure.

It might s a
once-in-a-lifetime offer.

- Uh, there must be a
better way of putting that.

- Besides, aren't
you guys a little old

to be doing this sort of thing?

- Well, what about Doc?

If he can do it, we can do it.

- Well, uh, now
wait a minute, Joe.

Maybe Clara has--

[doorbell buzzes]

Oh, that's Jack
with the ice cream.

I'll get it.

- It's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.

- Hi, Jack.
- Hi.

- I guess we forgot the ice--
- Yeah.

Here you are.

I don't blame you
for forgetting it.

Doc Williams told me about
the skydiving tomorrow.

You're really going to do it?

- Oh, well, we're,
uh, thinking about it.

We've been talking it over.

- Well, in that case,
would you mind paying cash?

Just kidding.
Happy jumping.

Have fun.

- All right.

[playful music]

I guess it'd be
pretty silly for me

to go down there with
Doc tomorrow and jump out

of an airplane.

- It certainly would.

You're not even
considering it, are you?

- Uh, I guess not.

- What do you mean
you guess not?

- Well, I must admit the
chance of doing something

a little daring like that has
a certain appeal, a challenge.

- Not to me, it doesn't.

- Well, you girls seem
to be pretty impressed

with some of those daredevils
down there tonight.

- Oh, look, dear, you don't
have to prove anything to me.

- Oh, I know that.

I guess I may be trying to
prove something to myself.

[gentle music]

- Here they come.

[playful music]

- Don't they look
positively dashing?

- They sure do.

- All right, men, this
is your final briefing

before your first jump.

Judging from the
courage and ability

you've shown throughout
the prejump course,

I have complete
confidence in both of you

- Thank you, sir.

- Yes, sir.

- Now, if there are
no further questions,

we'll repair to the aircraft.

- You mean it hasn't
been repaired yet?

- All right, men, you may
have a few moments to say

farewell to your loved ones.

[music playing]

- Now, are you sure
you'll be warm enough?

- Oh, sure.
I'm fine.

- You take care of
yourself, you big lug.

- Keep the old chin up, sweetie.

- You be careful.

- Will you stop worrying?

We've had the complete 10-minute
course of instructions.

- OK, man, fall in.

- Don't worry about
a thing, girls.

We'll be down in no time.

- Oh, wait!

Wait a minute.

For good luck.

- Thank you, dear.

Well, off we go.

[music playing]

[engine drones]

- Well, this is it.

You all set?

- OK, Joe?

- Roger.

- OK, I'll jump first.

Then if anything goes
wrong with your chutes,

I'll be down there to catch you.

Well, bottoms up.

- Good luck, Doc.

- Geronimo!

[engine drones]

- Went clean out of there.

- A little higher
up than I thought.

- Yeah.

You think he's clear by now?

I mean, you think
he's far enough

down so we won't land on him?

- I guess so.

Go ahead, Oz.
- No, no, no.

You take the honor.

- Oh, no, no.

I wouldn't think of it.

- Well, why don't we
go alphabetically?

Go ahead, you go first.

- Well, Nelson comes
before Randolph.

- Well, yes, but J comes
before O, Joe before Ozzie.

Go ahead and jump.

- What's your middle initial?

- I'll toss you for it.

You call it.

- Heads.

- Heads it is.
Go ahead.

- No, no.
I won.

The loser goes first.

- Will you stop being
childish about this?

Now, go ahead and jump!

[engine drones]

[wind whistles]

What's the matter?

- The wind keeps
blowing me back!

Maybe we ought to think
about this a little more.

- Hi, fellas.

- What are you girls doing here?

- We wanna show you guys we're
just as brave as you are.

- I get to go first
next time, Harriet.

- Geronimo!

[music playing]

- Pocahontas!

[music playing]

- How about that?

- Yeah.

They didn't even
take the course.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson, Mr. Randolph.

- Oh, hi, Barry.
- Barry?

- Barry?

Oh my.

That little son of a gun.

- We can't chicken out now.

- Well, that's for sure.

Go ahead, Joe.

- After you, Oz.

- I'll toss you 3 out of 5.

- Will you please go
ahead and jump, Oz?

- Oh, all right!

I'm going!

[music playing]

- Ozzy!

What happened?

- Oh.

I-- I just--

I just jumped out of the--

I just, uh, jumped--

I just jumped out of bed.

Go to sleep, Dear.

- How's your shoulder?

- Well, it's still
bad enough, so I

think I can convince Doc I
can't jump out of any airplanes

today.
- I'm glad.

I wasn't gonna let you
out of the house anyway.

[doorbell buzzes]
- Uh, that's Joe and Clara.

Ah, good morning.
- Good morning.

- Hi, Oz.

- Hey, what happened to you?

- Well, I kinda
sprained my ankle.

I guess I won't be able to
go and jump with you and Doc

today.

- Oh, well, I've
got news for you.

I won't be able to either.

I fell out of bed
and hurt my shoulder.

Of course, it's not as
good an idea as your ankle.

You get to use a cane.

- I thought it would be
a lot more impressive.

- Well, I thought so,
a couple of phonies.

BOTH: Hi, Doc.

- I take it you guys
aren't gonna jump today.

- OK, we'll admit it.

We're not jumping
out of any airplane.

- That's right.

If you wanna go
skydiving, go ahead.

- Go ahead.
- Me?

Are you kidding?

You'd never get me to jump
out of one of those things.

- What?

- Well, I thought you're a
member of the skydiving club?

- Well, I am.

An honorary member.

I go down there
and help them out.

You know, tape up
sprained ankles and all.

I even get to ride in a
plane every now and then.

- Well, you're a bigger
phony than we are.

- I think we won't have to worry
about our adventurous husbands

any more.
- I guess not.

- Oh, now just a second, girls.

Just because we don't
wanna dive out of airplanes

doesn't mean we don't have a
little adventure left in us.

- Yeah.

I'd still like to do
something exciting.

- Me, too.

Hey, how about a safari?

Lion hunting?

Lion hunting?

- That's right.

Stalking big game
through the jungle.

[animal vocalizes]

Too quiet.

I know he's out there someplace.

[animal vocalizes]

[lion roars]

We got him.

- Hooray!

[playful music]

- Well, how'd we do?

- Pretty good.

You bagged two hippos, a
water buffalo, and one lion.

- That's not bad.

- Well, what do we do next?

- Where's Mount Everest, please?

- Well, it's just beyond
the Amazon River trip.

- Oh, I thought we were
gonna drive the racing car?

- Well, I wanna take
that trip to the Moon.

- I'd like to shoot
the rapids next.

- Yeah, that sounds like fun.

- Well, now, wait a second.

You guys all promised, before
we did anything else, that I

could have some cotton candy.

[playful music]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the
American Dairy Association,

representing the dairy
farmers in your area.

- Be sure to keep an extra
supply of milk on hand

for the weekend.

[music playing]