All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S11E17.David.&.The.Teenager.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

[music playing]

- Let me give you a hand.

- Oh, thank you.

- I'll just take this for you.

- Thank you very much.

Oh, darn it.
- That's OK.

I've got it.

- I guess I was trying
to carry too many things.

Do you live here
in this apartment?

- Yes, I do.

- My mother and I
are just moving in.

- So I gathered.

Oh.

- Oh, no.

- I'll get it.

- It's right down this way.

- OK.

- We're in apartment 26.

- Oh, good.

We're practically
neighbors, then.

My wife and I are in 23.

- Oh, good.

- My name is David Nelson.

- Oh, hi, I'm Betty Harris.

Here we are.

I can take those things now.
- Sure you can manage them?

- Oh, yes.

And thank you so
much, Mr. Nelson.

I don't know what I would
have done without you.

- That's OK.
I used to be a Boy Scout.

I think you've got
my briefcase there.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Hi, honey.

- Hi.

- Did you have a good day?

- Yeah, pretty good, and you?

- Fine.

We have some new neighbors.

- Yeah, I rode up
on the elevator

with one of them, the daughter.

- Oh, really?

I met Mrs. Harris.

She seems awfully nice.

What's the daughter like?

- Oh, you haven't met her?

- Not yet.

- Well, I don't
want to worry you,

but I'd say she's definitely
the seductive type.

You know, kind of slinky and
sexy in a sophisticated way.

- And you say she's 14 or 15?

- I thought you said
you hadn't met her.

- I saw a picture of her.

Besides, if she were
all the things you said,

you never would
have mentioned it.

- Well, I must admit
you've got a point there.

- Are you hungry?

- I sure am.

- Good.

Dinner's just about ready.

- Boy, something smells good.

Do you need help?

- No, I've got
things under control.

[buzzer]
- Oh, I'll get it.

Oh, hi, Betty.

Come on in.

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Nelson.

I hate to bother you,
but I wonder if you've

got a hammer we could borrow.

- Sure.

Honey, this is my wife, June.

This is Betty Harris.
- Hi, Betty.

- Hi, how are you?

- She wants to borrow a hammer.

I'll get it for you.

- Well, are you
getting all settled?

- Oh, yes, thanks.

It sure is a mess, though.

- Oh, I know what you mean.

Say, would you and your mother
like to have dinner with us?

We have plenty.
- Oh, no, thank you.

That's very nice of you, but
we've just finished dinner.

- Here it is.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Nelson.

- Careful with
your fingers, now.

- Oh, I will.

Oh, very happy to have
met you, Mrs. Nelson.

- Thank you.

- If you need anything
else, just let us know.

- OK.
Thanks a lot.

Bye.

- Bye.

- Do you think we ought to
go over there and see if we

can help them with anything?
- What do you mean?

- Well, she borrowed a
hammer, so they're probably

hanging pictures.

- OK, we'll go over there so
you can sit and have a nice chat

while I hang the pictures.

- OK.

- Uh, after dinner, honey.

[knocking]

- Oh, hi there.
- Hi.

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

This is my husband, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.

- How do you do?

- Say, I want to
thank you for rescuing

my daughter this evening.
- Oh, that's all right.

- We thought maybe you
could use a little help.

- Oh, I don't know.

That's very thoughtful of you.

Betty's just hanging
some pictures.

- Ouch!

Mother.

- Maybe we could
use a little help.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.

We thought maybe we
could give you a hand.

- Well, actually, I
just need a thumb.

- Here, can I help
you with that?

- Oh, thank you.

- OK, well, Dave can
help hang the pictures.

What can I do?

- Well, I was just going
to unpack some dishes.

- Fine, let's go.

- So where do you want this now?

- Oh, right about there.

- OK.
You better move your finger.

I'm not too good at this myself.

- That was perfect.

You're a wonderful
picture hanger.

- Not actually.

I just got lucky this time.

- You're just being modest.

- Well, let's see how
the picture looks.

- Darn, I broke my nail.

- Oh.

Maybe you better
put a bandage on it.

- Oh, are you a doctor?

- No, I'm a lawyer.

- Really?

I mean, do you defend
people in court

and all that sort of thing?

- Well, every once in a while.

- Oh, that must be wonderful.

Do you make a lot of money?

- No, I'm afraid not.

Well, how's the picture look?

- It's perfect.

Well, don't you have
any briefs or anything

to be studying tonight?

- No, not tonight.

- I bet you smoke a pipe, too.

- Well, every once in a while.
- I knew it.

I can just see you
smoking your pipe

and studying the briefs on
some exciting murder case.

- Well, the case
I'm working on right

now has to do with a tax
litigation for a plastics

company.

- That sounds wonderful.

- Oh, how are you
doing out here?

- Oh, fine, thank you.

- Yeah, I've managed
to hang a picture.

- Oh, and he did it beautifully.

- Wow, good for you.

- Where does the next one go?

- Oh, right over here.

- They're nice
people, aren't they?

- Yeah, they sure are.

- How's your thumb?

- Oh, it's OK.

She was just trying to help.

- It looks like you've got
quite an admirer there.

- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on.

You know what I mean.

Betty, she could hardly
keep her eyes off of you.

- Oh, you must be kidding.

- You know I'm not.

I can't say as I blame her.

I can understand her
having a crush on you.

As a matter of fact, I think
you're very attractive.

- Wow, thank you very much.

- Considering you're
an old married man.

- Well, you're not bad
yourself, considering you're--

- Never mind.

- Anyway, I think
you're imagining things.

[buzzer]

- I wonder who that can be.

- Well, there's one
way to find out.

Well, hi, Betty.

- Oh, hi.

You forgot the hammer.
- Oh, well, that's OK.

You finished with it?

- Oh, yes, thank you.

We may need it tomorrow.

- Why don't you keep it then?

- Oh, that's OK.

If we need it, I'll
come back for it.

Well, good night.

Good night, Mrs. Nelson.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- See?

What'd I tell you?
- What do you mean?

She came over to
return the hammer.

- Well, didn't you
notice her dress?

Five minutes ago, she was
wearing petal pushers.

- You mean she changed her
dress just for my benefit?

- Well, she didn't
change it for mine.

In fact, she didn't
even know I was here.

- Sure, she did.

I heard her myself.

She said, "Good
night, Mrs. Nelson."

- Well, then tell me this.

Why did she come over?

- To return the hammer.

I guess she must have forgotten.

[buzzer]
- Wait a minute.

I better get it, or
she'll forget again.

- Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Nelson.

I forgot the hammer.

- Thanks, Betty.

Good night.

- Good night, Mr. Nelson.

Good morning, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hi, Betty.

- I was just coming
down to see you.

- You need the hammer?

- No, Mother and I wanted
to thank you and Mrs. Nelson

for helping us last night.
- Oh, that's all right.

We enjoyed it.

- We got a little gift
for you and your wife.

- Oh, gee, that's
very nice of you.

You shouldn't have done that.

- Oh, I wanted to.

- Well, thank you very much.

- Well, that's OK.

Thank you again for
being so neighborly.

- Well, thank you.

- Goodbye.

- Oh, wow, that was quick.

- Oh, I didn't make it
down to the mailbox.

I ran into Betty,
and she gave us

this little present for
helping them out last night.

- Well, wasn't that nice?

Open it up and see what it is.

- I can't understand.

We didn't do anything.

All I did was hang a couple of
pictures and eat some cookies.

- What is it?

- It's a can of pipe tobacco.

- Oh, how nice.

For both of us, did you say?

- That's what she said.

- Gee, it's my
favorite brand, too.

Do you want to know something?
- No, I don't.

Let's not start that again.

- I'm not starting anything.

Now what about the mail?

Do you want to give it
another try, or shall I?

- No, I'll get it.

- OK, but scream
if you need help.

- OK.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hi, Betty.

- I'll ride down with you.

- Oh, OK.

- What do you have, Dave?

- I think I'll have a
chocolate malt, Jack.

- Coming right up.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hi, Betty.

- Would you mind
changing seats with me?

Sir, would you mind
changing seats with me?

- Jack.

- Yeah.

- You better make that
two chocolate malts.

I'm expecting company.

- Whatever you say.

- Thanks, Bob.

- Thank you, Dave.

OK, Betty.

There you are.

- Oh, thank you.

- It was a good show, wasn't it?

- Yeah, it sure was.

Uh, Betty?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson?

- Can I see the paper
there for a second?

- Oh, sure.

- Thank you.

- Was there something
special you'd like to see?

- Oh, no, I'd better
be going, thanks.

But thank you for letting me
watch television with you.

- Oh, that's OK.

Here, don't forget your eggs.

- Oh, thanks, and I'll
return them tomorrow.

- Oh, there's no hurry.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- I'm glad you
enjoyed your tobacco.

- Oh, yes, thank you very much.

- Well, good night again.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Well, counselor, looks
like we're alone at last.

- Yep.

- I think you ought to tell
your girlfriend that you'd

like to spend your
evenings with your wife.

- Oh, I don't think it'll
last too much longer.

- I don't suppose I could
coach you to put that pipe out,

could I?

It's beginning to smell like
the Men's Club annual smoker

in here.
- OK.

Boy, it sure is
beautiful out here.

The moon's shining.

Very romantic.

- Do you realize that this is
the first time we've been alone

all evening?

- Well, I guess maybe I
better take advantage of it.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Well, good night, Mr.
Nelson, Mrs. Nelson.

- Good night.

- Oh, are you having
somebody for dinner?

- Yeah, Dave and June.

- Oh, good.

Well, and you better set
one more place, then?

- What do you mean?

- Well, from what
I understand, Dave

has this little
teenage shadow who's

been following him around.

- Look, take it
easy on the kidding.

June says that he's
getting a little

sensitive about that situation.

- I wouldn't kid
him for the world.

- Yeah, I'll bet.

- Besides, the little girl
will probably get over it

in a couple of days.

- I don't know.

- Oh, sure.

I remember when I
was about Dave's age,

there was this little teenage
girl had a crush on me.

- Yeah, but you married her.

- I was talking
about another girl.

- You mean there were
other girls before me?

- Oh, hundreds of them.

- Oh, this is very interesting.

Tell me more.

[buzzer]

- Saved by the bell.

- Come back here.

- Hi, Dave.
Hi, June.

- Hi.

- Where's your girlfriend?

- Boy, news sure travels
fast around here.

Well, at least so
far, we've been

able to keep it in the family.
- Well, I'm glad to hear that.

- Ah, you see, Harriet, I
told you he'd bring June.

- That's what I like
about this family.

Everybody's so diplomatic.

- You leave David alone.

- How did you manage to
slip out without her, Dave?

- Oh, you think you're
kidding, but we sneaked down

the back stairs.

- Do you mind
changing the subject?

- Oh, come on now, David.

You love every minute
of it and you know it.

- Ok, honey.
- Can I help you with anything?

- You sure can.

Now aren't you sorry you asked?

- I guess I am at best.

- Sit down, Dave.

Tell us the secret
of your success.

- You mean my
current predicament?

I wish I knew.

- Just being modest.

You're irresistible to
women, and you know it.

- Yeah, especially when
they're 14 years old.

- I understand you met her
when she dropped some bundles

and you picked them up.

- Yeah.
I'll tell you this much.

From now on, I'm
restricting my good deeds

to helping little old
ladies across the street.

- Well, watch out, little old
ladies can be dangerous, too.

- Who's a little old lady?

- Well, that did it.

Come on, fellas.

Dinner's ready.

- Gee, that was a
wonderful dinner.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

- It sure was.

I hate to change
a subject, but how

do you figure this girl happened
to get a crush on you, Dave?

- I'm sure I don't know.

- Well, I don't think that's
so hard to understand.

- Neither do I.
- Now, wait a sec.

You girls are prejudiced.

You're not allowed to vote.

You're disqualified.

- All I can do right
now is get off the hook.

- Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you disillusion her?

Give her the sloppy
husband routine.

Sit around the house with an
old t-shirt and baggy pants on,

dirty tennis shoes,
and two or three days'

growth of beard on your face,
and smoking a smelly old cigar.

- He does that and
he'll lose both of us.

- Well, whatever you
do, be careful not

to hurt her feelings.

- Yeah, don't
disillusion her too much.

You don't want to cause a
big psychological upset.

- Boy, talk about
responsibilities.

- Well, that's a price you have
to pay for being irresistible.

- OK, Rick.

- Doesn't Betty
have any boyfriends?

- I guess not.

She's just moved into
the neighborhood.

- Well, then,
that's your answer.

Get her a boyfriend,
somebody her own age.

- Does anybody know a
15-year-old boy who'd like

a date?

- Don't look at me, I'm 16.

- And I'm 25.

- How about at the fraternity?

Maybe some of the fellas
have younger brothers.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

It wouldn't hurt to look around.

- Why don't you stop by tomorrow
if you get the chance, Dave?

- Yeah, maybe I'll do that.

- Well, if he does, don't you
introduce him to any coeds.

He has enough women on
his hands right now.

- Hello, Rick, this is Dave.

Look, the way things
have been going,

I don't think I'll be
dropping by there, after all.

Well, I just don't think
it'll be necessary.

- I thought the
big panic was on.

- That was yesterday, but it's
kind of dying down a little.

And she wasn't waiting up for
us last night when we got home,

and she didn't stop me on
the way to work this morning.

Yeah, at least for
the time being.

Hold on a second.

What are you doing?
- It's a secret.

Here, you better let me get
the other arm, too, in case

it isn't the same length.
- Oh, wait a second.

It's my arm.
What are you doing?

- Well, it's supposed
to be a surprise,

but a young lady is
knitting a sweater for you,

and she has to have
your measurements.

- A young lady?

Her name isn't Betty
by any chance, is it?

- I'm afraid it is.

- Well, here we go again.
Is she on the phone?

- No, no, she's out
in the front office.

She was also inquiring as
to whether you'd had lunch.

- Oh, great.

Rick?

Yeah, look, I've
changed my mind.

I'll be over there in
about a half an hour.

Come on, you guys, how about it?

She's a real cute little girl.

Typical teenager.

- How old is she?

- Well, you know how it
is with girls nowadays.

It's kind of hard to tell.

- From what I understand,
she's about 14 going on 22.

- Well, she looks much older.

Besides, I didn't mean you guys.

I just thought maybe somebody
might have a younger brother.

- Don't you have a
kid brother, Kent?

- Yeah, but he's only 10.

- Is he big for his age?

[laughs]

- Wally, this is serious.

- Well, in the first
place, if the girl is 14,

she probably isn't going to
be interested in a boy 14.

- He's right, you know, Dave.
I've got a cousin, Susie Mae.

She's 15.

She's been married
for two years.

- Look, fellas, nobody's
trying to get anybody married.

I'd just like to find
some nice young fellow

about 17 years old,
who'd like to date

with a cute little girl.

If necessary, I'd be willing
to finance the project.

- Well, why didn't you say so?

- Not you, Wally.

You're too old.

- Even with my round baby face?

- Come on, baby face.

It's your deal.
- Excuse me, sir.

Will you be staying for lunch?
- Oh, no thanks.

I've eaten.

- Yes, sir.

- Wait a second.
Pledge?

- Yes, sir.

The kiwi bird flies in
ever-converging concentric

circles.
- Oh, no, no, not that.

- Oh, sorry, sir.

Alpha, beta, gamma, delta.

- I just want to know your name.

- Oh, sorry, sir.

Sheldon Hubbard
Ainsley, III, sir.

- Good.

How old are you, Sheldon?

- 16.

- Oh, you're kind of young
to be in college, aren't you?

- Yes, sir, but I'm
making good grades.

- Oh, well, good for you.

Look, Sheldon,
how would you like

to have a date with a very
attractive young lady?

- May I ask how young?

- Well, let's put it this way.

When she gets all
dressed up, she's

very attractive and
very sophisticated.

- Sheldon, look, as your
fraternity counselor,

why don't you let
Mr. Nelson and I

discuss this, then
you and I will talk it

over a little later?
- Yes, sir.

- Uh, Dave.

Look, I hate to sound
stuffy and unreasonable,

but as chairman of
the pledge committee,

I don't think it's fair
of you to take advantage

of that young boy
and try to force

him to go out on a blind
date that he obviously--

- Oh, pardon me, Wally, I
don't mean to interrupt you,

but I was just
thinking, you know,

I remember when I was in school.

This time of the year
was usually pretty rough,

making both ends meet.

Financially, that is.

- Oh, it's funny you
should mention that.

- Yeah.

I realize this is
probably an awkward time.

I mean, I wouldn't want
you to misunderstand.

- Oh, no, of course not.

- How about 10?

- Oh, that'll be fine, Dave.

Where were we?

- Uh, we were discussing
Sheldon and the blind date.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, now, let's see...

Where is he supposed
to be and when?

- Now you're talking.

- Hi, honey.

- Hi.

Gee, I'm sorry I'm late.

- Oh, that's OK.

Betty stopped by.

- That figures.
What did she want?

- Oh, she just wanted
to talk to you.

She said she'd come by later.

- Oh, good, 'cause I'd like
to have a little talk with her

and get this whole
thing straightened out.

- Oh, come on now, Dave.

Don't sound so serious.

- I'll tell you this much.

It isn't funny anymore.

Anyway, I stopped by
the fraternity house

and arranged to get her
a blind date for tonight.

- Blind date for Betty?

- Yeah, a real nice kid
named Sheldon something.

He's about 16 years old and
a pledge over at the house.

- Does he knows she's only 14?

- Well, I didn't
tell him exactly.

I said she was young
and attractive and very

sophisticated.

- Sophisticated?

- Well, yeah, she is for her
age when she gets dressed up.

[buzzer]

- Oh, that's probably Betty now.

If you don't mind, I think
I'll go hide in the bedroom.

- Why?

- Because I'm the
cowardly type, and I

don't want to be around while
you have your heart to heart

talk.

- Uh, wait a second.

Do you think maybe you
could explain the situation?

- Oh, no, you don't.

- June?

[buzzer]

OK, be right there.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.
- Hey, Betty.

Come on in.
- Thank you.

I'd like to talk to you for a
minute, if you're not too busy.

- Uh, no, not at all.

Won't you sit down?

- Well, thank you, but I'm
expecting my date any minute.

- Oh, you know about the date?
Who told you?

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I must be talking
about somebody else.

You say you have a
date for tonight?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson, and
he was the handsomest man

you've ever seen.

He's 15 years old, but
he looks much older.

He's very tall and
very good-looking.

Oh, I said that, didn't I?

- Well, I hope he doesn't
keep you out too late.

- Oh, no, we're just
going to a show.

Mother says I have
to be home by 11:30.

Do you know
something, Mr. Nelson?

I think I'm in love.

- Well, that's nice.

How long have you
known this boy?

- Not too long.

I just met him in school today.

I guess you might say it
was love at first sight.

I dropped my books, and
he picked them up for me.

His name is Clark Pennington.

Oh, don't you think
that's a wonderful name?

Sort of Ivy League.

- Well, have a good time.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, and Mr. Nelson,
there are an awful lot

of things going on
at school these days,

so if I don't stop
by quite so often,

I hope you'll understand.

- Oh, sure.

- And Mr. Nelson,
just one more thing--

I want you to know
that I think you're

the most wonderful man I've
ever met in my whole life,

and I hope and pray that
someday I'll meet somebody just

like you, and he'll
ask me to marry him,

and we'll live
happily ever after.

- Well, thank you, Betty.

That's about the nicest thing
anybody's ever said to anybody.

- Oh, gee, I'd better hurry.

Clark will be here any minute.

- Well, have a good time.

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, that worked out
pretty nicely, didn't it?

- Yeah, she's got a
boyfriend, some kid

she met over at school.
- Yeah, I know.

I was listening.

- You were listening?

- Of course, what do you expect?

I've got a lot of character,
but not that much.

[buzzer]

- I'll get it.

Oh, hi, Sheldon.
Come on in.

- Thanks.
I hope I'm not too early.

Wally said to be here
by about 8 o'clock.

- Well, as a matter
of fact, we've

got a little situation here.
- Wow.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Hey, you aren't kidding.

She looks about 19 or 20.

- Oh, well--

- Hi, Betty.

I'm Sheldon Ainsley,
your date for tonight.

- Oh.

- Sheldon.

- Dave sure has his
troubles, doesn't he?

Of course, this
isn't the first time

he's had difficulty
with a little girl.

In fact, I remember one time,
about 11 or 12 years ago,

when a little girl
from next door

invited him to go to a dance.

They were sitting on the
sofa in our living room.

- I guess you're
wondering why I came over.

- Yeah, I was.

- Well, some of
the girls decided

to have a dance next Saturday.

- A dance?

- Yes, do you like dancing?

- Well, I really don't
do very much of it.

- We're going to
do the Charleston.

That's a new dance step.

- Oh, yeah, they do it in
all the movies on television.

- Hi.

- Who's this?

- My little brother, Ricky.

- Hello, Ricky.

I'm Nancy Baker.

- Would you like to
see me tap dance?

- Just don't pay any
attention to him.

- I think he's cute.

- He is not.

- I am, too.

- Can you really
tap dance, Ricky?

- Sure.

I can sing, too.

- Really?

- You'll have to come
over and listen to me

sing in the bathtub sometime.

- Hey, Ricky, Mom's calling you.

- I don't hear her.

- Hey, Mom.

- Yes, David?

- Would you call Ricky, please?

- Hey, that's cheating!

- Ricky, you come out here
and help me get some cookies

and milk.
- What for?

- For about 15 minutes.

- I'll be back a
little later, Nancy.

- Your little
brother is very nice.

- Nice of you to you say so.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- You certainly
have a lovely home.

- Thanks.

- We're each supposed
to ask a boy.

- What's this?

- To the dance next Saturday.

- Oh.

- Don't you think
dancing is a lot of fun?

- Um, dancing's all right,
but I like football better.

- Well, football's all right,
but I like dancing better.

- All the guys like football.

- I'm a girl.

- I guess you are.

- I imagine you'd be very good.

- Well, I need a lot of
practice on my passing.

- I mean, you'd be
a very good dancer.

- Oh, thanks.

- Hello.

- Oh, hello, Ricky.

- Ricky?

- Well, goodbye.

- It's a beautiful
day, isn't it?

- Yes, well.

- You certainly
have a lovely home.

- Thanks.

- Yes, we're each
supposed to ask a boy.

- You asked anyone yet?

- Not yet.

Were you going to say something?

Go ahead.

- We certainly have
a lovely home here.

[music playing]