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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,977 ♪ I've seen love go by my door ♪ 2 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,848 ♪ It's never been this close before ♪ 3 00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:25,286 Remember, you gotta hold on tight and then let go. 4 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,070 I know, Momma. I can do it. 5 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,551 Okay. 6 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,901 You did it! You try, you try, you try! 7 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,599 Okay, ready? 8 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:40,214 ♪ This purple clover Queen Anne's lace ♪ 9 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,303 ♪ Crimson hair across your face ♪ 10 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,261 Is he the leader? 11 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,872 He thinks he is. 12 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,527 But the mommas are the real bosses. 13 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,661 The male gorillas compete with each other, 14 00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:55,620 so it's the females' job to keep the pack together. 15 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:58,449 Protect the little ones. 16 00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,885 When they're tiny, 17 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,410 all babies need are their mommas. 18 00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:05,021 And then when they're bigger? 19 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,067 They still need them, Alaska. 20 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:16,163 ♪ This dragon cloud's high above ♪ 21 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,948 ♪ I've only known careless love ♪ 22 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:22,778 ♪ It always hit me from below ♪ 23 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,172 ♪ But this time around it's more correct ♪ 24 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,826 ♪ It's right on target so direct ♪ 25 00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:31,395 ♪ You're gonna make me lonesome when you go ♪ 26 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,148 I feel like we definitely 27 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,628 would have heard something by now. 28 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,804 Definitely. No blowback? 29 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:52,721 Is it safe to say? Yep, I think we go there. 30 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,288 We just got away with the greatest prank 31 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,941 in Culver Creek history. 32 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:59,815 And I get to savor the image of that jockstrap Longwell 33 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:02,209 running through the woods with his pants around his ankles. 34 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,951 Normally I am against shows 35 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,215 of hyper masculine aggression 36 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,955 popularized by professional athletes, 37 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,827 but can I get a triple high five? 38 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,439 Wait, all the triumphal hand gestures. 39 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:19,443 Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh! 40 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,882 If you think about it, 41 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,581 college admissions dudes probably love poop humor. 42 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,148 I bet they thought it was hilarious. 43 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,192 Those essays were probably better written 44 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,672 than what Longwell and Kevin 45 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,282 could have came up with on their own. 46 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,284 We basically helped them get into their dream school. 47 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,373 No, they're legacies. They was getting in either way. 48 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,506 That prank was highly satisfying, 49 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,900 but ultimately consequence-free for those dick weasels. 50 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,164 'Cause that's how it is in the real world. 51 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,253 Speaking of "The Real World," 52 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,647 Pudge and Lara need to get a hot tub. 53 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,476 Our boy becoming a man. 54 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,174 It is a beautiful journey 55 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:57,002 and we are privileged to glimpse it. 56 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,135 Ain't love grand? 57 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,317 Look at him. Look at him go. 58 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,321 Wow. Hmm? 59 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,454 My lips are numb. 60 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,977 Me, too. 61 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,587 I guess it is possible 62 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,850 to kiss so much you cannot feel the kisses. 63 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,200 Who knew? 64 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,557 Is this okay? Mm-hmm. 65 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,907 It's okay? Mmm. 66 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,824 You do not have to squeeze it quite so much. 67 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:39,131 Oh, I'm sorry. 68 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,525 Is it the first one you've ever touched? 69 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,441 Well, technically his first boob was Alaska's, 70 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,400 but that was against his will. 71 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:47,575 And it was above the shirt. 72 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:50,621 Jesus, Colonel. 73 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,362 How the hell did you get in here? 74 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,582 How do you think? Through the front door. 75 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,323 But y'all were so hot and heavy, 76 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:57,889 nobody noticed. 77 00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,327 And I didn't wanna interrupt. That's rude. 78 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,850 It's getting late. 79 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,505 I should go before the Eagle does his rounds. 80 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,202 Bye. 81 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,117 Bye, Chip. 82 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,250 Bye. 83 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,254 Whoo. 84 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:18,127 So, Lara with the perky breasts is the one. 85 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,389 Your first. 86 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:22,349 The one to take your innocence. 87 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,133 Well, I don't know. 88 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,962 I mean, we haven't discussed it. 89 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,747 Oh, probably because your lips were too numb 90 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,272 from all the kissing. 91 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:35,710 Two virgins deflowering each other. 92 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,060 It's gonna be so goddamn meaningful. 93 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,496 I mean, you gotta think about it. 94 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,890 For the rest of her life when people say, 95 00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,413 "Who was your first?" 96 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:48,244 Lara will say, "Miles 'Pudge' Halter." 97 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,683 It's beautiful. It's so goddamn beautiful. 98 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:04,129 Our ability to represent a concept with an abstract sign 99 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,784 is something no other animal can do. 100 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,744 While the nickname makes it appear trivial, 101 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:14,096 a doodle set the foundation of universal language. 102 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,228 Just don't do it in my class. 103 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,579 Uh, we were actually... 104 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:22,409 Just, um, talking about, uh, Lara's essay question. 105 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,238 Hers is a real doozy. 106 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,939 Um, how can something so beautiful as religion 107 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:33,202 lead to so much war? 108 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,249 It's a good one. 109 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,860 Right? 110 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,427 Back to work. 111 00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,519 I really liked your question. 112 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:50,698 Now I must know, what is your most important question? 113 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,395 Oh, well, it's mostly, 114 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:55,964 um, about how people want security, 115 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:59,097 and how they can't stand the idea of death 116 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,926 being a big black nothing, 117 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,755 or the thought of their loved ones not existing, 118 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,845 let alone imagine themselves not existing, 119 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,587 so I decided that people believe in an afterlife 120 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,546 because they can't bear not to. 121 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:15,679 Miles, Heaven is written in the Bible. 122 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:18,987 It would not have survived 2,000 years 123 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,642 if it was just a silly pipe dream. 124 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,731 Maybe Lara's right. 125 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,733 Maybe you do go to Heaven 126 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,518 and all your dead pets are waiting for you 127 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:33,218 and there's a big dinner party with old smart people. 128 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:36,657 When they go to bed, there's a big after party 129 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,877 with Kurt and River. 130 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,359 I think the problem is that you spend so much time 131 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,143 worried about what's up there 132 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,145 that you're missing out on the real party down here. 133 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,191 I guess for some of us, 134 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,976 parties are not so important. 135 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,285 It was a metaphor. 136 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,381 Chip? 137 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,209 Well, well, well. 138 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,906 Look who's back. 139 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:12,301 Can I talk to you? Alone? 140 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,521 You know he's just gonna tell us everything you say, right? 141 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:25,140 You're in trouble, Chip. 142 00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:29,274 They know about the applications. 143 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,059 Someone on the Duke admissions board's 144 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,669 friends with Longwell's dad. 145 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,062 I'm sorry, Sara. 146 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,717 No idea what you're talking about. 147 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:40,155 Chip, this isn't a joke. 148 00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:42,374 They're saying that it was an invasion of privacy, 149 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,855 fraud, identity theft, 150 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,466 and they wanna sue the school, 151 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,424 maybe even press criminal charges, 152 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,034 and I know you've gotten yourself 153 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,428 out of bad situations before, but this is different. 154 00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,650 Well, if there's nothing I can do about it, 155 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,303 why'd you even feel the need to tell me? 156 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:01,176 Because I care about you, moron. 157 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,004 I mean, it's not like you would miss me 158 00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,440 if I got kicked out, 159 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:07,225 now that you and Longwell are... 160 00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:09,793 That was you, wasn't it? 161 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,795 In the woods that night of the dance? 162 00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,144 You followed us. 163 00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,451 Yeah, I followed you to our spot. 164 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:17,714 You're damn right. I don't know why I even try. 165 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,674 Let me ask you something, Sara. 166 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:25,200 All the time we spent laughing at Longwell's fucking lameness, 167 00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:27,071 was that all a lie? 168 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,334 Did you just keep me around to make daddy angry? 169 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:32,076 He is lame, okay? 170 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,861 And you're brilliant 171 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,732 and challenging and complicated 172 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:38,648 and I just wanna be happy, 173 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:42,043 a goal you mostly made more difficult, not less. 174 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,961 There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, Chip. 175 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,406 Kevin and Longwell's parents. 176 00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,582 They're here to meet with the Eagle. 177 00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,542 And that's Holly's dad. 178 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,326 What's so bad about him? 179 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:08,156 Besides his complicity in siring Holly. 180 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,159 He's one of the top litigators in the state. 181 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:17,905 That's a low bar. 182 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,037 Pun intended. 183 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,826 I'm really sorry, Chip. 184 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:35,575 Thanks for your concern. 185 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,545 Lighter for your thoughts? 186 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,203 Wanna talk about it? 187 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,950 Look, I get it. 188 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,516 It's weird seeing them together. 189 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,648 They're totally mismatched. 190 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:09,130 Like if a... sweet but dumb dog 191 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:13,090 was dating a cute Romanian duck. 192 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:16,224 I don't care about Pudge and Lara. 193 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,837 I have my own tortured love life to contend with. 194 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,753 You mean with Jake? I thought that was over. 195 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,363 He's been calling me every day, 196 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:28,105 trying to get back together. 197 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,672 You know what? 198 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,631 I may have been too hasty ending things with him. 199 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,590 Really? Yeah. 200 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,419 Really. 201 00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,029 You just don't understand the nuances 202 00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,465 of a mature adult relationship 203 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,815 because you've never experienced one. 204 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,907 And you probably never will. 205 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,039 From your lips to God's ears. 206 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,409 Hello? 207 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,108 Hello? 208 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,505 Alaska? 209 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,856 Alaska, is that you? Are you okay? 210 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,253 I think that was Alaska. 211 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,038 You should call her back. 212 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,354 Oww, mmm! Sorry! 213 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:46,009 Oh, no, it's just, uh, I don't think my butt 214 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,969 is ever gonna be the same after the swan. 215 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:52,059 Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I'd say. 216 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,801 This is painful. 217 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,240 I'm going to the library. You have an hour. 218 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,069 Sorry, Ruth. 219 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,903 We really need to get our own room. 220 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,427 Mm-hmm. 221 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:16,561 Have you ever had a blow job? 222 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,435 Um... 223 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:22,611 that's out of the blue. 224 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:25,570 Uh, the... the blue? 225 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,573 Oh, I... I mean, like, um, uh, I just, 226 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,097 um, like, out of left field. 227 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,838 Uh, forget it. 228 00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,057 Um, what... what made... what made you think of that? 229 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:36,103 I've never given one. 230 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,367 Oh, I've never gotten one. 231 00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,803 Do you think it would be fun? 232 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,327 Yeah. Um, I mean... 233 00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,677 I... I... I think so. 234 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,462 I... I don't know. Um... 235 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,334 I think I want to. 236 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,730 Okay. 237 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,384 Okay. 238 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,255 Um... 239 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,455 Well, do I do something? 240 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:27,894 I... I think maybe, um, you're supposed to... 241 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:31,288 Move? 242 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,855 How? 243 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:36,163 Clearly I'm not an expert at this. 244 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:39,557 Hey, maybe we just table this and, um, watch another episode. 245 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:42,212 Okay. Yeah. 246 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,431 Okay. 247 00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,346 Okay. 248 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,921 ♪ Right back where we start from ♪ 249 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,706 ♪ California ♪ ♪ California ♪ 250 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,557 You are one of my best students, Mr. Martin. 251 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,341 Thanks, Mr. Starnes. 252 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:27,518 You are without a doubt a top three administrator. 253 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,349 You're funny. 254 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,047 You're bright. 255 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:37,311 You understand that true success comes from hard work, 256 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,879 mastering your studies. 257 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,620 Which is why it grieves me 258 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:46,233 to see such a stupid stunt cost you your place here. 259 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,106 Uh, not sure what you're referring to, sir. 260 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,112 I get the sense that someone is trying 261 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,680 to make me take the fall for something, but... 262 00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,638 You were seen. 263 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:05,295 Uh, sorry. 264 00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,993 Seen where, sir? 265 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,039 Here, the night of the dance. 266 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,128 Holly Moser spilled punch on her sweater 267 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,000 and she was going to change 268 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,785 when she saw you tearing toward the woods from the dormitories. 269 00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,569 Within the walls of this campus, 270 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,877 I have the tools to adjudicate any transgression. 271 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,532 When you involve another campus... 272 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:27,404 an esteemed university in a different state... 273 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:30,668 I lose control of the situation. 274 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:33,106 You can't threaten a young man's future 275 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:36,761 and think that it won't have consequences. 276 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,547 I mean, their futures aren't really threatened, though, 277 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:42,289 are they? 278 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:45,161 Parents sorted everything out, everybody's friends. 279 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,989 Their applications have been purged 280 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,773 and the deadline was extended, yes. 281 00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,255 Sounds to me like a victimless crime. 282 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,170 Well, their parents don't see it that way, 283 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,825 and they're willing to involve the courts, even the police. 284 00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,349 Do you know that what you did was illegal? 285 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,177 It was an online college app. 286 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,354 It was using the Internet to commit fraud. 287 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,748 With all due respect, sir, 288 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:10,360 it was an essay about shitting your pants. 289 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,933 I'm no fool, Mr. Martin. 290 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,413 I know you didn't do this alone, 291 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,632 and I know who probably helped you. 292 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,288 Do you want to bring them down with you? 293 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,383 If I expel you and you go quietly, 294 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:36,473 that might be enough to satisfy these parents. 295 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,127 No one else needs to pay for this. 296 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,565 Wow. 297 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:46,701 So, just the black kid 298 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:50,574 whose mom serves hash browns ends up getting expelled? 299 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:54,187 Son, do not make this about... 300 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,579 about that. 301 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,973 Come on, man. 302 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,540 They've just been waiting on their chance. 303 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,411 Then why did you give it to them, Chip? 304 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:05,763 You have 24 hours. 305 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,244 Admit that this prank was yours and yours alone 306 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,333 and this matter is resolved. 307 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,379 Fight and you will open up an investigation 308 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,946 that will bring your friends down with you. 309 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,862 I suggest you start saying your good-byes. 310 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,460 Checking that I'm still alive? 311 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:55,117 Operating out of an abundance of caution. 312 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:58,468 People are so afraid of stillness. 313 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,866 Is disturbing my tranquility the only reason for your visit? 314 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,392 It is kind of becoming our thing, but, um... 315 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:14,789 No. I'm here to give you this. 316 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,923 My paper... 317 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:22,318 which is now yours and... 318 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,365 to also let you know that I failed the assignment. 319 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:28,063 Oh? Why is that? 320 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,066 My question... 321 00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,418 It has no answer. 322 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:38,378 All the best questions don't. 323 00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,424 That's what makes them worth asking. 324 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,605 Well, then I totally nailed it. 325 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,584 We don't have to. 326 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,368 I... I just thought it might be, 327 00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:15,719 um... instructional, 328 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,504 but if it's weird... 329 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:21,029 Not sure you read the book that it's based on 330 00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:22,944 or watched the movie. 331 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:26,252 Meryl Streep is really good in it. 332 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,471 I'm European, Miles. 333 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,691 It's not like I haven't seen a porno before. 334 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,823 Okay.Okay. 335 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,916 Oh, come on, baby. 336 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,529 Oh, God, this is graphic. 337 00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,576 Why is he pulling her hair so much? 338 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:50,319 Bad idea. This is not helpful, 339 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,408 and may I add, 340 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:55,585 not a faithful adaptation. 341 00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,022 There is someone we both know 342 00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:00,764 who could possibly help us. 343 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,375 Wow. 344 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,422 If you're asking for my guidance in the matter, 345 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:07,902 your, um... 346 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,296 your relationship must be really progressing, 347 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,776 sexually speaking. 348 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:14,691 You know, I knew this was a bad idea. 349 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,084 It's a great idea. 350 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,347 I happen to be an expert on the subject. 351 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,480 Feel free to call Jake to confirm my prowess. 352 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,699 No need. I'm fine. 353 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,353 So, you can help us? 354 00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:43,633 First order of business, teeth. 355 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,287 Tongue over the bottom ones. 356 00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:47,550 Mouth open wide to cover the top. 357 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:50,423 Second order, despite the slang terminology, 358 00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:52,425 you don't actually have to be a sword swallower. 359 00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,905 No gagging, choking, or unwanted tea bagging. 360 00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:57,517 You know, I might just leave you ladies to talk about this. 361 00:20:57,604 --> 00:20:59,127 Oh, no, Pudge, we need you here. 362 00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,520 Because when we're done, 363 00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:02,391 you're gonna go to the dining hall 364 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,350 and you're gonna procure a peach, and I'm gonna show you 365 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,787 what you need to do for Lara in order to reciprocate. 366 00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,658 Now... 367 00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:11,835 Observe. 368 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:14,882 Oh, I see. 369 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:25,066 Chip. 370 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,201 What's wrong, hon? 371 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,814 Mom, would you still love me even if I messed everything up? 372 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:40,124 Come here. Come here. 373 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,606 Of course. 374 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,436 Hey, Colonel, what are you doing? 375 00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:52,572 Where are you coming from in Alaska's car? 376 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:54,051 Not in the mood for questions. 377 00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:56,315 Cigarettes first. 378 00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:04,105 I know it's weird, but Ruth is always in my room 379 00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:06,063 and there is no getting rid of the girl. 380 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,805 Are you kidding me? This is... this is great. 381 00:22:08,892 --> 00:22:11,199 I mean, a limo? 382 00:22:11,286 --> 00:22:13,723 Very classy. 383 00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:16,639 So much leg room and I'll stop talking now. 384 00:22:16,726 --> 00:22:20,034 ♪ Touching you ♪ 385 00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:23,777 ♪ Touching me ♪ 386 00:22:23,864 --> 00:22:26,823 ♪ Touching you, God you're touching me ♪ 387 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,218 ♪ Ah ♪ 388 00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:33,221 You are not gonna believe... 389 00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:39,270 You're letting out all the good poisons, Pudge. 390 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:47,061 Who died? 391 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:49,542 My future. 392 00:22:49,629 --> 00:22:51,108 Congratulations, Pudge. 393 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:54,198 As of tomorrow, you have a single. 394 00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:03,643 What you doing tonight, Alaska? 395 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,253 Wanna come to practice? 396 00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:07,081 I'm good. Okay. 397 00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:08,648 I got that new stick, bro. 398 00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:09,997 Yeah, I know. It's against regulations. 399 00:23:10,084 --> 00:23:11,520 No, it ain't.LONGWELL: Yep. 400 00:23:11,607 --> 00:23:13,130 We gonna go 4A this year, right? 401 00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:14,871 I mean, I'm down. Yeah, man. 402 00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:16,699 Hey, who's the new kid? Oh, hold on. 403 00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:18,135 I think you at the wrong place. 404 00:23:18,222 --> 00:23:19,310 This ain't Birmingham Preschool. 405 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:20,660 I got a question. 406 00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:22,401 Did you have to pay half tuition 407 00:23:22,488 --> 00:23:24,664 because you're so short? 408 00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:27,014 Wow, thank you for that clarification. 409 00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:28,798 Let me guess, you just used up 410 00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:30,800 your whole vocabulary in that one sentence. 411 00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:32,541 That's impressive. Why don't you shut up? 412 00:23:36,327 --> 00:23:38,895 All right, fellas, let's cut back on the testosterone. 413 00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:41,289 We don't want Kevin's balls to drop prematurely. 414 00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:44,510 Alaska, what the hell? Save me a bufriedo. 415 00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,294 Alaska! 416 00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:48,514 Whatever. I'll smell you later, midget. 417 00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:52,779 I understand. 418 00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:54,955 The Chihuahua wants to attack the alpha dog 419 00:23:55,042 --> 00:23:56,391 first day at the pound, but those two, 420 00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:58,001 they will literally kick your ass. 421 00:23:58,088 --> 00:23:59,699 I'm pretty sure I'll get some punches in, too, 422 00:23:59,786 --> 00:24:00,787 and I'm not a Chihuahua. 423 00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:02,310 It's fine. 424 00:24:02,397 --> 00:24:03,616 I'm here to teach you that there are better ways 425 00:24:03,703 --> 00:24:05,226 of getting revenge here at Culver Creek. 426 00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:07,663 Pranks. 427 00:24:09,317 --> 00:24:10,753 If you want, I can help you. 428 00:24:12,102 --> 00:24:13,974 Ain't those guys supposed to be your friends? 429 00:24:15,845 --> 00:24:18,413 Honestly, I came here trying to find my people, 430 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,590 but so far it's only been turd farmers with lacrosse sticks 431 00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:23,070 and the women who love them. 432 00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:24,245 I've been looking for someone 433 00:24:24,332 --> 00:24:25,942 with an IQ higher than their age 434 00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:27,857 and you seem to fit the bill. 435 00:24:27,944 --> 00:24:30,077 So, are you in? 436 00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:36,649 Sure, I'm in. 437 00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:38,781 I'm Alaska. 438 00:24:38,868 --> 00:24:40,783 I'm Chip. 439 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,872 Chip? No. 440 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:45,745 Chip is the kind of guy who sells beer nuts 441 00:24:45,832 --> 00:24:47,355 at a dive bar out by the airport. 442 00:24:47,442 --> 00:24:48,661 Okay. You are clearly 443 00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:51,098 so much more than a Chip. 444 00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,795 I'll think of a good nickname for you. 445 00:24:52,882 --> 00:24:54,057 Let's go smoke. 446 00:24:59,846 --> 00:25:02,457 Colonel... 447 00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:03,893 we're not gonna let you get expelled 448 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:05,939 for something we all did 449 00:25:06,026 --> 00:25:09,725 Something you did to avenge what they did to me. 450 00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:12,728 What if we issued a formal written apology 451 00:25:12,815 --> 00:25:14,382 to the Warriors' parents? 452 00:25:14,469 --> 00:25:17,516 Like they would give a shit about our apology. 453 00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:20,736 We could hire a lawyer. Sue the school. 454 00:25:20,823 --> 00:25:24,523 We could say it's cruel and unusual punishment. 455 00:25:24,610 --> 00:25:28,048 I'm getting expelled, not executed. 456 00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:29,440 And we can barely afford 457 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,399 a five-star special at Miss Ann's. 458 00:25:31,486 --> 00:25:33,009 How are we gonna get a lawyer? Oh, I know. 459 00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:36,056 We can petition the student jury to decide 460 00:25:36,143 --> 00:25:38,624 and then bribe them, like last time. 461 00:25:38,711 --> 00:25:40,451 It's too late. 462 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,366 The Eagle already made the final decision. 463 00:25:42,453 --> 00:25:45,631 What if I go to him and tell him I did everything by myself? 464 00:25:45,718 --> 00:25:49,243 And then Takumi did, then Pudge, then Lara? 465 00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:52,072 Full "Spartacus." I like it. 466 00:25:52,159 --> 00:25:54,204 I feel like that only works 467 00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:55,989 if everyone isn't actually guilty 468 00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,381 of the things they're confessing to. 469 00:25:57,468 --> 00:25:58,774 Exactly. 470 00:25:58,861 --> 00:26:00,776 Then everyone would get expelled, 471 00:26:00,863 --> 00:26:03,083 which is what I'm trying to avoid. 472 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:04,911 I was seen following Sara and Longwell 473 00:26:04,998 --> 00:26:06,739 into the woods that night. 474 00:26:06,826 --> 00:26:09,263 I followed my heart instead of protocol 475 00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:11,657 and now I'm paying the price for my passion. 476 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,618 I'll go to the Eagle in the morning and confess. 477 00:26:18,272 --> 00:26:20,535 Then I'll go. 478 00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:22,450 This truly sucks. 479 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:26,759 I'm gonna go for a walk. 480 00:26:26,846 --> 00:26:29,239 Want some company? No, I need to think. 481 00:26:35,550 --> 00:26:37,639 Oh. 482 00:26:37,726 --> 00:26:39,032 Mr. Halter. 483 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,644 I just wanna talk to you about Chip Martin. 484 00:26:46,735 --> 00:26:48,781 Come on in, Mr. Halter. Come on in. 485 00:26:51,522 --> 00:26:53,568 This may not come as a surprise to you, 486 00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:55,222 but when I was a student here 487 00:26:55,309 --> 00:26:57,964 I wasn't exactly the most popular. 488 00:26:58,051 --> 00:26:59,922 I'm sorry to hear that. 489 00:27:01,141 --> 00:27:04,144 But you know who was looking out for me? 490 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:05,406 My teachers. 491 00:27:09,192 --> 00:27:13,501 I guess the point that I'm trying to make, Miles, 492 00:27:13,588 --> 00:27:16,591 is that I know you feel like I'm an enemy, 493 00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:19,333 but I'm not. 494 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:21,291 So listen to me. 495 00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:24,251 You can't save your friend, 496 00:27:24,338 --> 00:27:28,037 but you don't have to sacrifice yourself. 497 00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:30,866 You still have a bright future here. 498 00:27:30,953 --> 00:27:33,521 But what will this place even be like 499 00:27:33,608 --> 00:27:36,263 if he's not here? 500 00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:39,092 He loves this school. 501 00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:43,270 He loves his friends and Dr. Hyde's lectures 502 00:27:43,357 --> 00:27:45,881 and getting kicked out of basketball games. 503 00:27:47,753 --> 00:27:50,886 This place doesn't just belong to the Longwells and Kevins. 504 00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:53,062 This is Chip's school, too. 505 00:27:53,149 --> 00:27:55,717 And no one is more disappointed than me 506 00:27:55,804 --> 00:27:58,459 to see Mr. Martin leave. 507 00:27:58,546 --> 00:28:02,028 But he was here on scholarship and with that comes scrutiny. 508 00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:04,073 So just because I happen to be born 509 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,033 the son of Walter Halter 510 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,905 means that I get a free pass, 511 00:28:09,992 --> 00:28:12,038 but because he isn't a legacy 512 00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:14,214 and doesn't have money or influence... 513 00:28:14,301 --> 00:28:16,520 He wouldn't have needed any of those things 514 00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:19,480 if he had just followed the rules. 515 00:28:26,966 --> 00:28:29,925 But I agree with you. 516 00:28:31,448 --> 00:28:33,712 Culver Creek isn't gonna be the same without him. 517 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:48,901 Any idea where your roommate's skinny ass is? 518 00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:50,685 No clue. 519 00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:55,255 But he's only my roommate for... 520 00:28:55,342 --> 00:28:57,779 11-ish more hours, 521 00:28:57,866 --> 00:29:00,042 so he can get a head start 522 00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,958 on taking care of himself for a change. 523 00:29:04,090 --> 00:29:07,136 I'm sure he's probably off with Lara somewhere. 524 00:29:07,223 --> 00:29:09,138 My last night 525 00:29:09,225 --> 00:29:12,141 and Pudge is out getting his pole smoked. 526 00:29:12,228 --> 00:29:14,578 At least he got his priorities straight. 527 00:29:15,971 --> 00:29:19,148 Hey, ballsiest prank ever. 528 00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:20,889 I think we should make a statue out of you. 529 00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:22,282 Seconded. 530 00:29:22,369 --> 00:29:24,675 Who needs another bronze monument 531 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,373 to some Civil War general 532 00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:29,071 when you could celebrate a truly great 533 00:29:29,158 --> 00:29:30,899 military strategist? 534 00:29:30,986 --> 00:29:33,293 A statue, huh? 535 00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:36,862 My future is completely fucked 536 00:29:36,949 --> 00:29:39,081 and that's the best y'all can do? 537 00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:41,605 It's pretty damn good. 538 00:29:41,692 --> 00:29:44,739 Something to stand the test of time immemorial, 539 00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:47,742 here long after we're gone, 540 00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:49,788 ensuring that you'll never be forgotten. 541 00:29:56,142 --> 00:29:59,232 But that's the thing. 542 00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:02,235 I will. 543 00:30:02,322 --> 00:30:05,194 The second I leave this place, 544 00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:07,631 it'll go back to normal. 545 00:30:07,718 --> 00:30:09,764 The bell will ring, 546 00:30:09,851 --> 00:30:12,419 everyone will go back to class, 547 00:30:12,506 --> 00:30:14,551 and pretty soon 548 00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:17,337 I'll be a distant memory. 549 00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:20,209 Even to y'all. 550 00:30:20,296 --> 00:30:24,561 I'll just be that funny little black dude 551 00:30:24,648 --> 00:30:26,215 you knew back in the day. 552 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,394 Till one day years from now... 553 00:30:34,615 --> 00:30:36,835 You'll just be thinking... 554 00:30:38,706 --> 00:30:43,537 "Hey, I wonder what happened to Chip Martin?" 555 00:30:44,755 --> 00:30:47,541 "I wonder what he would have made of himself 556 00:30:47,628 --> 00:30:51,240 if he never would have got expelled all those years ago?" 557 00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:55,288 Chances are... 558 00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:57,246 you won't even remember why. 559 00:31:00,206 --> 00:31:02,861 Nobody will. That is not true. 560 00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:06,299 We will always be friends. No. 561 00:31:07,735 --> 00:31:09,302 We won't. 562 00:31:09,389 --> 00:31:11,391 We can't. 563 00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:13,001 Starting tomorrow, 564 00:31:13,088 --> 00:31:16,178 I'll be the guy who got kicked out of school 565 00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:18,398 because of you, 566 00:31:18,485 --> 00:31:21,444 and you'll always feel guilty, 567 00:31:21,531 --> 00:31:24,186 and I'll always feel resentful. 568 00:31:24,273 --> 00:31:28,234 And that's no recipe for a friendship, now is it? 569 00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:29,844 Yo, Colonel, 570 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,498 I think it's time we lighten up on the sauce, huh? 571 00:31:31,585 --> 00:31:34,283 Nope, nope, nope. 572 00:31:34,370 --> 00:31:38,766 In vino veritas, Takumi. 573 00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,727 If she wouldn't have ratted, 574 00:31:43,814 --> 00:31:46,469 her books would have never gotten destroyed, 575 00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:50,778 and I wouldn't be on the next bus back to the trailer park. 576 00:31:50,865 --> 00:31:53,607 Okay, um, 577 00:31:53,694 --> 00:31:56,784 I think it's time we call it a night. 578 00:31:56,871 --> 00:31:59,830 Alaska? No, that's not fair. 579 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,442 I never asked you to do that. 580 00:32:02,529 --> 00:32:04,009 And I'll go to the Eagle's house right now 581 00:32:04,096 --> 00:32:05,097 and I'll confess the whole goddamn thing. 582 00:32:05,184 --> 00:32:06,098 I will. 583 00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:08,535 Nah. 584 00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:10,841 If that were really true, 585 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,018 you would have done it by now. 586 00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:27,554 You figured out where I was going? 587 00:32:27,641 --> 00:32:29,817 It wasn't hard. 588 00:32:29,904 --> 00:32:32,124 What happened? 589 00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:33,777 Nothing. 590 00:32:33,864 --> 00:32:36,258 Good. No, it's... it's not good. 591 00:32:36,345 --> 00:32:40,219 It's, um... it's not fair 592 00:32:40,306 --> 00:32:42,090 or just. 593 00:32:42,177 --> 00:32:44,092 It's fucked up. 594 00:32:44,179 --> 00:32:46,616 No, not this again. 595 00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:50,359 You are so lucky, 596 00:32:50,446 --> 00:32:53,972 and instead of being grateful and enjoying it, 597 00:32:54,059 --> 00:32:57,410 you are on some mission to find some imaginary life. 598 00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:59,716 It's not imaginary. 599 00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:02,893 It's my great perhaps. 600 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:06,723 What does that even mean, great perhaps? 601 00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:12,860 Culver Creek is our chance at a great future. 602 00:33:12,947 --> 00:33:16,298 Work hard, get into a good college, 603 00:33:16,385 --> 00:33:20,172 become anything we want. 604 00:33:20,259 --> 00:33:22,565 And you want to risk all of that... 605 00:33:24,393 --> 00:33:26,569 For what? 606 00:33:26,656 --> 00:33:30,747 I am so sorry that the Colonel is being expelled. 607 00:33:30,834 --> 00:33:33,359 But he was caught and we weren't, 608 00:33:33,446 --> 00:33:36,362 and I am not sorry for that, 609 00:33:36,449 --> 00:33:39,321 because that means that we get to stay here. 610 00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:42,324 And that's everything. 611 00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:45,066 My friends are everything. 612 00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:48,243 And if you can't understand that then... 613 00:33:48,330 --> 00:33:49,679 Then what? 614 00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:02,779 I gotta go. 615 00:34:07,349 --> 00:34:09,917 You really wanna end it this way? 616 00:34:10,004 --> 00:34:11,875 Why not? 617 00:34:11,962 --> 00:34:14,139 Makes it easier for everyone to move on. 618 00:34:17,664 --> 00:34:19,492 All right. 619 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:25,019 Alaska, sorry the Colonel's being a prick. 620 00:34:25,106 --> 00:34:26,455 Colonel... 621 00:34:29,676 --> 00:34:32,418 Good luck. Uh-huh, you can go. 622 00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:56,616 Self pity was never your thing, Colonel. 623 00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:01,795 I always thought you were more of a fighter. 624 00:35:01,882 --> 00:35:04,711 Well, sorry to let you down. 625 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,018 Guess you know how it feels now. 626 00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,472 What's wrong? Nothing. 627 00:35:27,690 --> 00:35:29,649 Everything. Let's just go smoke. 628 00:35:33,305 --> 00:35:34,697 He's just spinning out. 629 00:35:34,784 --> 00:35:37,831 Can you blame him? 630 00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:39,789 He is kind of right. 631 00:35:42,705 --> 00:35:44,446 It's my fault. 632 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:47,188 I just wish he hadn't been such an asshole about it. 633 00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:58,895 I just got into a dumb fight with Lara. 634 00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:02,725 I didn't know she had it in her. 635 00:36:03,813 --> 00:36:05,989 It was mostly me. 636 00:36:06,076 --> 00:36:08,688 I didn't know you had it in you, either. 637 00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:10,559 So you guys are on the rocks, 638 00:36:10,646 --> 00:36:13,736 just when she learned to give head. 639 00:36:13,823 --> 00:36:15,303 It's a tough one. 640 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:19,916 I don't ever really think we were even 641 00:36:20,003 --> 00:36:21,875 right for each other. 642 00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:24,399 I know. 643 00:36:28,142 --> 00:36:31,363 Look, it sucks, but... 644 00:36:31,450 --> 00:36:34,453 welcome to the club. 645 00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:37,107 Me and Jake and Sara and the Colonel. 646 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,371 We're all losers in love. 647 00:36:47,553 --> 00:36:51,078 I get why the Colonel was so pissed. 648 00:36:51,165 --> 00:36:54,560 This place really was his ticket out of the trailer park. 649 00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:56,475 He may be an angry little asshole, 650 00:36:56,562 --> 00:36:58,868 but I don't know if I can live with the idea 651 00:36:58,955 --> 00:37:01,567 of him hating me for the rest of his life. 652 00:37:03,351 --> 00:37:05,658 Well... 653 00:37:05,745 --> 00:37:08,574 we just go back, 654 00:37:08,661 --> 00:37:11,185 apologize, 655 00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:12,926 and then... 656 00:37:14,406 --> 00:37:16,625 Just be with him... 657 00:37:18,366 --> 00:37:20,020 Till he leaves. 658 00:37:23,023 --> 00:37:24,851 It's that easy, huh? 659 00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:30,248 It's that easy. 660 00:37:31,727 --> 00:37:33,338 Okay. 661 00:37:34,687 --> 00:37:36,819 Let's go, Pudge. 662 00:37:42,434 --> 00:37:45,915 Colonel, it turns out I'm an asshole, too, so... 663 00:37:59,973 --> 00:38:02,192 All right, let's get him in the bed. 664 00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:11,985 Well, so much for honest conversation with the Colonel. 665 00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:20,907 Now what? 666 00:38:24,824 --> 00:38:27,740 Since we're already in the mood for honesty, 667 00:38:27,827 --> 00:38:30,090 I'm thinking... 668 00:38:30,177 --> 00:38:33,963 copious amounts of alcohol with a little truth or dare. 669 00:38:34,050 --> 00:38:36,096 Unless you think that truth or dare 670 00:38:36,183 --> 00:38:37,619 was played out by seventh grade. 671 00:38:39,752 --> 00:38:41,754 Never played it before. 672 00:38:41,841 --> 00:38:43,973 Didn't have any friends through seventh grade. 673 00:38:44,060 --> 00:38:46,454 That's a sad story, Miles. 674 00:38:47,977 --> 00:38:49,805 Now's your chance. 675 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,722 This is gonna be fun. 676 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:09,347 That looks so good. 677 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:11,958 I'll take over. Thanks. 678 00:39:15,614 --> 00:39:18,921 ♪ She said she knows how to dance ♪ 679 00:39:20,749 --> 00:39:24,971 ♪ But if that actually makes sense ♪ 680 00:39:25,058 --> 00:39:27,452 ♪ The more you learn the less you feel ♪ 681 00:39:27,539 --> 00:39:32,195 ♪ The moment as it's happening but close your eyes ♪ 682 00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:35,808 ♪ Recognize ♪ 683 00:39:35,895 --> 00:39:39,420 ♪ I know somewhere there's someone ♪ 684 00:39:39,507 --> 00:39:43,729 ♪ Holding a candle for me ♪ 685 00:39:43,816 --> 00:39:46,384 That's the truth of where I'll be in ten years. 686 00:39:46,471 --> 00:39:49,517 Hold on, so in this mythical future 687 00:39:49,604 --> 00:39:52,781 I am a feminist novelist? 688 00:39:54,914 --> 00:39:56,437 We'll have a very small section 689 00:39:56,524 --> 00:39:59,005 for white male authors we approve of. 690 00:39:59,092 --> 00:40:03,575 Basically just you and Dr. Seuss. 691 00:40:05,272 --> 00:40:08,754 Apparently Dr. Seuss was a racist. 692 00:40:09,972 --> 00:40:11,800 Yeah. What? 693 00:40:11,887 --> 00:40:13,280 Mm-hmm. 694 00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:17,023 You ruin everything, Pudge. 695 00:40:17,110 --> 00:40:19,155 Fine, it's just gonna be you, then. 696 00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:21,419 Um, that's only because 697 00:40:21,506 --> 00:40:23,377 the first book will clearly be about me. 698 00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:26,249 Oh, will it now? Mm-hmm. 699 00:40:26,336 --> 00:40:27,903 Who else would it be about? 700 00:40:27,990 --> 00:40:30,253 Not Lara. 701 00:40:30,340 --> 00:40:32,647 Maybe this idiot. 702 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:39,524 So... I'm gonna be a novelist. 703 00:40:39,611 --> 00:40:41,787 Well, maybe. 704 00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:43,484 If you start reading books from the beginning 705 00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:46,531 instead of just skipping to the end for last words. 706 00:40:47,836 --> 00:40:51,405 Wait, but isn't the title of this future novel, 707 00:40:51,492 --> 00:40:53,929 Famous Last Words? 708 00:40:54,016 --> 00:40:55,583 You're missing the point of the story. 709 00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:57,585 The point is where I'll be in ten years, 710 00:40:57,672 --> 00:40:59,065 not where you're gonna be. 711 00:40:59,152 --> 00:41:00,980 Right, and you're gonna be... 712 00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:04,026 An owner of a hipster book store. 713 00:41:06,420 --> 00:41:08,466 Yes. 714 00:41:08,553 --> 00:41:12,165 Or a literature professor at Columbia 715 00:41:12,252 --> 00:41:14,733 teaching a class on... 716 00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:17,170 anti-heroines. 717 00:41:17,257 --> 00:41:18,954 I don't know. 718 00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:22,218 All I know is that I'm gonna be far away from home 719 00:41:22,305 --> 00:41:24,264 doing something I love, 720 00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:28,355 and inspiring girls to be their unapologetically badass selves. 721 00:41:30,183 --> 00:41:32,402 You're gonna do it, too. 722 00:41:34,796 --> 00:41:36,842 No doubt about it. 723 00:41:45,241 --> 00:41:48,723 Okay, enough about me. 724 00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:52,118 Truth or dare, Miles? 725 00:41:52,205 --> 00:41:53,423 Um... 726 00:41:54,686 --> 00:41:56,078 Truth. 727 00:41:58,472 --> 00:42:02,084 When we were in Dolores's room at Thanksgiving... 728 00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:05,131 Did you wanna kiss me? 729 00:42:05,218 --> 00:42:06,698 Jesus. 730 00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:10,571 Um, can... can I switch to dare? 731 00:42:10,658 --> 00:42:11,964 No. 732 00:42:15,184 --> 00:42:16,838 Um... 733 00:42:20,102 --> 00:42:21,756 Well... 734 00:42:23,279 --> 00:42:25,107 I thought it was pretty obvious. 735 00:42:25,194 --> 00:42:28,546 I mean, obvious enough that you kicked me out of the bed. 736 00:42:31,766 --> 00:42:33,028 Yeah. 737 00:42:36,205 --> 00:42:38,686 I... I did wanna kiss you. 738 00:42:42,081 --> 00:42:45,171 Did... did you... 739 00:42:45,258 --> 00:42:48,174 you know, wanna... 740 00:42:48,261 --> 00:42:50,959 No, you... you have to burn a truth or dare 741 00:42:51,046 --> 00:42:53,092 to ask a question. 742 00:42:53,179 --> 00:42:55,573 Fine. Um... 743 00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:58,227 truth or dare? 744 00:42:58,314 --> 00:43:00,360 Truth. 745 00:43:10,936 --> 00:43:13,591 Did you wanna kiss me? 746 00:43:18,944 --> 00:43:20,598 Yes. 747 00:43:24,863 --> 00:43:28,823 I didn't because I got some bad advice from the Colonel. 748 00:43:34,307 --> 00:43:36,265 Your turn. Truth or dare? 749 00:43:36,352 --> 00:43:37,832 Oh, um, wait. Hold on. 750 00:43:37,919 --> 00:43:39,573 Truth or dare. 751 00:43:43,098 --> 00:43:44,578 Truth. 752 00:43:44,665 --> 00:43:47,842 Were you happy when Jake and I broke up? 753 00:43:49,801 --> 00:43:51,237 Yes. 754 00:43:53,848 --> 00:43:56,198 Why did you? 755 00:43:56,285 --> 00:43:58,157 Break up, I mean. 756 00:43:59,985 --> 00:44:01,203 Truth? 757 00:44:04,206 --> 00:44:07,645 Um, because... 758 00:44:08,950 --> 00:44:13,868 I wanted to be available for someone else. 759 00:44:15,957 --> 00:44:19,874 Like, maybe you. 760 00:44:24,836 --> 00:44:27,360 But it doesn't matter because 761 00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:30,102 I'm... 762 00:44:30,189 --> 00:44:32,365 I'm bad for everyone. 763 00:44:32,452 --> 00:44:35,237 I hurt Jake. I ruined the Colonel's life. 764 00:44:35,324 --> 00:44:37,196 So... 765 00:44:38,632 --> 00:44:40,808 Trust me. You don't want me. 766 00:44:40,895 --> 00:44:43,071 I get to decide 767 00:44:43,158 --> 00:44:45,857 what and who... 768 00:44:45,944 --> 00:44:48,294 Whom. 769 00:44:48,381 --> 00:44:51,340 Whom I want. 770 00:44:53,603 --> 00:44:55,736 Who's good for me. 771 00:44:59,305 --> 00:45:02,264 Everyone around here treats me like I'm a little kid. 772 00:45:02,351 --> 00:45:04,136 Like I can't make my own decisions, 773 00:45:04,223 --> 00:45:07,443 but I can. 774 00:45:07,530 --> 00:45:10,185 I'm responsible for my actions. 775 00:45:11,578 --> 00:45:13,406 I can handle the heat. 776 00:45:13,493 --> 00:45:15,930 Really? 777 00:45:16,017 --> 00:45:18,237 You can handle the heat? 778 00:45:18,324 --> 00:45:20,935 Yeah. 779 00:45:21,022 --> 00:45:23,155 I can. 780 00:45:24,330 --> 00:45:27,072 All right. 781 00:45:27,159 --> 00:45:29,683 Miles... 782 00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:33,731 truth or dare? 783 00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:39,214 Dare. 784 00:45:42,217 --> 00:45:44,176 Kiss me. 785 00:45:59,060 --> 00:46:02,107 ♪ Love of mine ♪ 786 00:46:02,194 --> 00:46:06,154 ♪ Someday you will die ♪ 787 00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:10,463 ♪ But I'll be close behind ♪ 788 00:46:10,550 --> 00:46:15,207 ♪ Following you into the dark ♪ 789 00:46:15,294 --> 00:46:18,558 ♪ No blinding light ♪ 790 00:46:18,645 --> 00:46:22,562 ♪ Or tunnels to gates of white ♪ 791 00:46:22,649 --> 00:46:26,914 ♪ Just our hands clasped so tight ♪ 792 00:46:27,001 --> 00:46:31,832 ♪ Waiting for the hint of a spark ♪ 793 00:46:31,919 --> 00:46:34,966 ♪ If Heaven and Hell decide ♪ 794 00:46:35,053 --> 00:46:40,319 ♪ That they both are satisfied ♪ 795 00:46:40,406 --> 00:46:43,322 ♪ Illuminate the no's ♪ 796 00:46:43,409 --> 00:46:48,240 ♪ On their vacancy signs ♪ 797 00:46:48,327 --> 00:46:51,504 ♪ If there's no one beside you ♪ 798 00:46:51,591 --> 00:46:56,465 I love you, Alaska Young. 799 00:46:56,552 --> 00:47:02,907 ♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪ 800 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:15,745 Don't go. 801 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,014 To be continued. 802 00:47:47,342 --> 00:47:49,301 I need to get out of here. 803 00:47:49,388 --> 00:47:51,085 I forgot. What's going on? 804 00:47:51,172 --> 00:47:53,522 How many times can I fuck up? Alaska, what the hell? 805 00:47:53,609 --> 00:47:54,480 I have to get out of here. 806 00:47:54,567 --> 00:47:55,916 Okay, now? 807 00:47:56,003 --> 00:47:57,657 Yes, now. Where are you trying to go? 808 00:47:57,744 --> 00:47:59,354 Just distract the Eagle and get him out of his house, okay? 809 00:47:59,441 --> 00:48:01,182 Are you sure you're okay to... to drive? 810 00:48:01,269 --> 00:48:02,836 I'm fucking invincible. 811 00:48:05,708 --> 00:48:07,362 I'm gonna light these off at the Eagle's place. 812 00:48:07,449 --> 00:48:08,842 You help her with the gate. 813 00:48:30,472 --> 00:48:31,909 Hey! 814 00:48:33,301 --> 00:48:35,173 God damn it. 815 00:48:51,450 --> 00:48:54,540 ♪ All worn down ♪ 816 00:48:54,627 --> 00:48:58,413 ♪ The time for sleep is now ♪ 817 00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:02,852 ♪ But it's nothing to cry about ♪ 818 00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:07,161 ♪ 'Cause we'll hold each other soon ♪ 819 00:49:07,248 --> 00:49:14,125 ♪ In the blackest of rooms ♪ 820 00:49:14,212 --> 00:49:17,084 ♪ If Heaven and Hell decide ♪ 821 00:49:17,171 --> 00:49:21,959 ♪ That they both are satisfied ♪ 822 00:49:22,046 --> 00:49:25,310 ♪ Illuminate the no's ♪ 823 00:49:25,397 --> 00:49:30,054 ♪ On their vacancy signs ♪ 824 00:49:30,141 --> 00:49:33,927 ♪ If there's no one beside you ♪ 825 00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:38,497 ♪ When your soul embarks ♪ 826 00:49:38,584 --> 00:49:43,763 ♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪ 827 00:49:47,114 --> 00:49:50,944 ♪ I'll follow you into the dark... ♪ 57627

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