All language subtitles for Love.Before.Breakfast.1936

Yes, Mr. Miller. Five thousand
Amalgamated at 24 even.

Turner and Baldwin have agreed
to your terms, Mr. Miller.

Is that offer still open?

Mr. Miller can't see you
before 4:00 on Thursday.

Yes, sir.
Call Miss Kay Colby.

Ask her to lunch with me today.

Here are those contracts
on Amalgamated Oil.

Those reporters are still waiting
for a story on the Japanese deal, sir.

I can't see any reporters
now. I'm too busy.

You better cable
Hendricks in Japan.

Tell him we bought Amalgamated,

and we expect him to
look after our interests

until we get a man out there.

And see if Mason's
back with that report yet.

Yes.

Miss Colby's
lunching with Mr. Wadsworth.

Ask her if she can
dine with me tonight.

Tell her my favorite
opera's on at the Met.

What opera shall I say?

I don't know.
Look it up in the paper.

What about that report?

I'm sorry, sir, but
I haven't quite finished.

I've been getting the information
you asked for on William Wadsworth.

Oh, well, let's have it.

He's been working
for Amalgamated here.

Two years as field assistant.

He's supposed to be
engaged to Miss Kay Colby,

but I find that he's also rather
involved with a lady on 78th Street.

Oh, I see.

Yes.Miss Colby's dining
with Mr. Wadsworth.

Well, ask her
for lunch tomorrow.

If she can't make that,
try dinner tomorrow night.

Or lunch or dinner
the first day she has open.

Did he impress you as being
very much in love with Miss Colby?

Well, I really couldn't tell.

You see,
he was with the other woman when I talked to him.

His chief concern
was about his job.

He's very anxious to
stay on with the company.

All right. Thanks.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?

Ted, is that assistant
manager's job in Japan still open?

I believe so,
sir. Come in here. I want to talk to you a minute.

Snap it up, Jerry. We're late. Yes,
sir. Giddap, Bessie.

Where's your ticket?
I've got it.

What about your passport?
It's right here. I've got everything.

I bet you forgot those headache tablets. No,
I haven't.

What's the matter with you, Kay?

You'd think I was
a baby or something.

I just wanted to be sure.

I thought maybe you couldn't
get things like that in Japan.

Come on, Jerry.
You can do better than this.

We're doing the best
we can, Mr. Wadsworth.

You needn't look so glum.

You act as if the world
was coming to an end.

It is for me.

Oh, now, Kay,
stop it. Haven't I got enough to worry...

I can't help it.

What did you expect me to do?
Pass up an opportunity of a lifetime?

I'll miss that boat sure.

Suppose you did?
You're a great help.

I don't see why you have to
go all the way to Japan for a job.

You were doing fine right here.

Listen, honey. If a man wants
to get ahead in the oil business,

he has to be ready to
go anyplace, anytime.

There isn't any
money in oil anyway.

Rockefeller took it all out. Well,
he left enough for me.

I'll never get that boat.

That's what I get for taking
this busted-down old hack.

Of all the crazy ideas.

You proposed to me in this hack.

It's still a crazy idea.

Hey!

Hey! Somebody
grab that horse!

They must be drunk, sir.

Come on,
boys. Grab these bags. Did we do any damage?

Well, you didn't do any...

Why, Kay. Hello.
So, it's your car.

Every splinter.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Scott,
but our horse is a little high-strung.

Look out for the black
one. It's not locked.

Bill, you know Scott Miller.
My fiancé, Bill Wadsworth.

Hello. How are you? How are you,
Wadsworth? Congratulations.

Thanks, old man.
I'm sorry about the car.

Forget it. The joke's on
the insurance company.

Thanks. Well...
You're not sailing.

No. Bill is. He's being sent to
Japan. By Amalgamated Oil.

You don't say. Good outfit.
Nice opportunity for you.

- I hope so.
- Scott!

Oh, oh. Scott. I've lost one of the
dogs. She ran after an old Airedale.

How plebeian. May I present
the Contessa Campanella?

Miss Kay Colby.
How do you do?

The Miss Colby I've heard
so much about from Scott.

Really? How nice of Scott.

And Mr. George Wadsworth.
William Wadsworth.

Sorry. Contessa Campanella.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Are you sailing with us,
Miss Colby? No. I wish I were.

Oh,
dear. What a pity. It's divine this time of year.

The dogs adore it.
Don't you, baby?

Excuse us,
please. We have some last-minute talking to do.

- Good-bye. Bon voyage.
- Naturally.

Good-bye.
Good-bye.

Very charming, your Miss Colby.

She's not my Miss Colby.
She's Wadsworth's.

Hadn't you better be getting
aboard? Not rushing me, are you?

Of course not, dear.

All ashore who's going ashore!

All ashore who's going ashore!

All ashore who's going ashore!

Oh, Bill. Come on. Be a
sport. This is our last chance.

Get of the boat with me.

Please, honey.
This is my big break.

Oh, I know, but you'll be
away two whole years.

Well, that's all right.
What's two years?

Well, n liable to
happen to us in that length of time.

We may change, both of us.
Why take chances?

No, Kay. Don't start
that all over again.

We'll get along.
We don't need much.

No, no. None of this cottage
stuff for me. I want more than that.

I've got my
future to think about.

Bill, I thought it
was gonna be our future.

Well, sure. Sure.
That's what I meant.

Naturally, I mean both of us. But
I've gotta look out for myself too.

All ashore who's going ashore!
Last call.

Come on, honey.
You better get started.

Oh, Bill.

All ashore who's
going ashore! Last call.

Bye!

Good-bye! Bon voyage!

Wave good-bye, dear.
Wave good-bye.

Bye!

Bye, honey.
Take care of yourself.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Say, when you cry,
you don't fool around, do you? You give.

Don't I? Oh! Give me a hanky
quick. I got mascara in my eye.

Oh, oh.

I can't stand good-byes.

I can't even bear to see
anybody of at the subway.

You never do that for me.

I'm afraid I ruined your hanky.

I'll have it framed.
How's it now?

Oh, my eye's all right,
but I still have an awful lump in my throat.

How'd you like to wash it
down with some nice hot coffee?

Coffee. It's practically
an inspiration.

Swell. We'll stop by Dubin's.
All right.

Coffee, black and strong.

Make it two.
Yes, sir. Anything else?

No. I'll have the
special sandwich.

Just the turkey and ham without the Magoo. Yes,
sir.

Come on,
now. Do your grieving on your own time.

You know,
the Countess is gone, too.

I think she's
very charming, Scott.

I admire your taste.
Thank you.

Except for those stupid little
Pekes she drapes herself with.

Incidentally,
what's happened to the Count? Where is he?

Where are
the snows of yesteryear?

Where the woodbine twineth.
That's where the Count is.

Kay, have you really got it
as bad as you think you have?

I don't think so.

What does a lady do when she
wishes to change the subject abruptly?

Give me a cigarette.

What does a gentleman do when he
wants to find out if he has a chance,

now that your Bill is gone?

You never give up, do you?

You know me. Miller of the
Northwest Royal Mounted.

It's a funny world, isn't it?

What's funny about it?

Well, the Countess
wants to marry me.

You're afraid?

You want to marry Bill,
and I want to marry you.

Quite a problem, isn't it?
Yes, isn't it?

You know, I had quite some difficulty
getting the Countess of to Honolulu.

Oh, she isn't going to Japan?

I thought Honolulu
was far enough for her.

But my real problem was Bill.

Bill?

Yes. You see,
I just couldn't walk up and convince Bill

that he was getting circles under
his eyes and needed a vacation.

So, when I found out he was
working for Amalgamated Oil, I...

Wait a minute.

Are you trying to tell me

you had something to do
with sending Bill to Japan?

Buying Amalgamated wasn't a bad
investment. It's a nice little company.

I've had my eye on
it for some time.

Are you serious? You
bought an oil company just to...

Well, I had to get rid of him
somehow. He had me stymied.

So, you sent him away just
to have a clear field. Is that it?

Mmm-hmm.
Isn't that marvelous?

You're loaded with money,
so you think you can push buttons

and move heaven and earth.

Kay, I wouldn't put
it as crudely as that.

You're the most contemptible,
egotistical person I've ever met in my life.

Listen, Kay. I didn't realize
he meant so much to you.

Let me tell you
something, little Napoleon.

This is one time your button-pushing
isn't gonna do you any good.

Bill is gonna be
closer to me in Japan

than you can ever hope to
be right here in New York.

Kay, I...
Oh, go away.

Wait a second.

Get me a cab.

Follow that cab, and step on it!

Good evening, sir.
Hello.

Your hat.

Well, well.
This is a small world.

Fancy running into the very
person I had hoped to see.

Did I catch a glimpse of you
going into a telegraph office?

You certainly did. And Bill
will be back on the first boat.

Thank you.

I wish you hadn't done that.

Mmm-hmm.

Is that beautiful!

Here's where I go to work.

Don't you wish you could?

How much says I can't?

Make it easy on yourself.

- Ten bucks.
- It's a bet.

You'd better pin back your
ears. This is gonna be good.

It's an easy $10.

Um...

It's stuck.

Thanks.

How about a little drink
for the old Alma mater?

Oh, students? I should say
not. We're football players.

That looks poisonous.
Let me buy you a real drink.

Oh, I like this one,
if you don't mind.

Oh, come on, toots.
Have a drink with me.

I crave companionship.

You should join a sorority.

Let me fix it for ya.

Have you ever been
hit with a slot machine?

I bet the fellows 10 bucks
you'd have a drink with me.

Come on. Be a good... Is
this youngster annoying you?

Not at all.

Be a good scout, sonny,
and toddle back to your table.

I wish you'd stop
interfering with my affairs.

Oh, I didn't know
this was an affair.

Well, whatever it is,
I can do without you nicely.

Madam, is this old
gentleman annoying you?

Yes. Very decidedly.

So,
maybe you'd better totter back to your table.

Don't try to be funny.

Somebody looking for trouble?

Yes. And somebody's
going to get it.

Now, get back to
your table, all of you.

Wait a minute. Who do you think you're... Why,
you...

I thought it was
pretty good as fights go.

Your tactics are a trifle dirty.

I picked them up
in the oil fields.

But I must give you credit
for a good left hook.

Thanks.

I never felt anything like it.

Kay?
Hmm?

Kay.
Yes, Mother.

Here's a cablegram
for you, dear.

Oh, darling.
Read it to me, will you?

What on earth are
you doing to that hat?

Covering my eye.
What do you think?

Why, it looks dreadful.

What does he say?
When is he coming back?

Who?
Bill.

Will you read that cable to me? Oh,
of course.

Just love cables.

Well, if it's for me,
I'd like to know what's in it.

You'll be crazy about it, dear.

''Can't believe
stuff about Scott.''

''Intend to make
good at job anyway.''

''Absurd to come back now.
Take care of yourself.''

''Love, Bill.''

That's about the most
ardent cable I ever saw.

He must be simply
crazy about you.

What did you expect him to do?
Jump off the boat and swim back?

Oh, no, dear.

I thought that's
what you expected.

I think his going to Australia
is the nicest thing he ever did.

It isn't Australia.
It's Japan.

What's the difference?
He's gone.

That's what I like about him.

I suppose you like Scott
Miller for sending him away too.

I've always liked Scott.

Might a mother ask
where you're going?

I'm going down to
the beauty parlor

to have something
done to this eye.

Charles will fix it.
Charles is wonderful.

And, darling,
don't you brood over Bill's cable.

Even if he is cooling off,
there are other fish in the sea.

Well, one of them
is not Scott Miller.

Bonjour, mademoiselle.
Hello, Charles.

And how is Miss Colby today?

Look at this.

Mademoiselle! Where'd you
get this blue eye?

I got the blue one from my
mother's side of the family.

The black one is a present from a
gentleman who's crazy about me.

Ah. C'est l'amour.
Hmm.

What can you do about it?
We fix it perfect.

Oh, good. Yeah. If mademoiselle will sit,
please.

First of all,
we put on the cold towel.

Some astringent maybe.

Then some raw beef.
Just a small piece.

Put the whole cow
on if it'll help any.

Yes, mademoiselle.

Now, if you will
kindly close your eyes.

Too cold?
It's all right.

Now, be sure you keep your eyes
closed. I'll come right away back.

Okay.

Hey,
Charles! I'm getting a little bored with this.

Come on with the meat course.

Tout de suite, mademoiselle.

Well, come on now.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

I'm the butcher boy.
How did you get in?

The magic power of gold.

Did your company take over
this beauty parlor too?

No, no. Just a temporary
deal with Charles.

How do I look?
Like a street cleaner.

Come, come,
come now. You can't win me with flattery.

You get out of here,
or I'll call a policeman. Go ahead.

I'll buy out
the police force, too.

Honestly,
don't you like me better than you did last night?

Why should I?

Oh, I know I'm not
handsome, but I'm cute.

And I'll always be by your side.

Charles.

Don't strain your vocal cords.

Charles!

Charles stepped out
for a minute, Miss Colby.

And he won't be
back till I call him.

I wish you wouldn't go. I wanted
to take you to the dog show.

They're showing the cutest
little animals you ever saw.

A Pekingese you'd be mad about.

Oh, you don't like Pekingese.
That's right. I remember now.

You're definitely
not the Pekingese type.

You know, the first time I saw you,
I said to myself,

''Now, there's a girl
who's definitely...''

Not the Pekingese type.

Bulldog, maybe,
but not Pekingese.

Good heavens, Yuki!
What's that?

I not know, Miss Kay.
Just come.

What's it supposed to be?

Where's the thing?
What thing, Miss Kay?

The card, Yuki.
Oh, here it is.

Morning, my lamb.
Why, what's that?

Flowers, darling. Flowers.

What a queer basket.

Was that a bark?

Kay, look at the little angel.

You come to me,
you itsy-bitsy, tiny thing.

Who sent the little darling?

Aren't you going to see?

I know who sent it.

Get away from me.
Go away. Go.

''Introducing Junior
and his own doghouse,''

''so you'll let me
out of mine. Scott.''

Isn't that cute?
Yes. Yuki!

What are you going to do?
Send him back, of course.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

Dumb thing. Sit up!

Look at that
smart little precious.

I won't have you send him back.

I'll keep him myself.
You come to Mother.

Yes, I will. I'll just take care of you,
my darling.

I think you ought to call Scott
up right away and thank him.

Which reminds me.

Couldn't possibly have been you

who told Scott Miller I was
going to the beauty parlor?

Me? Why, darling,
certainly not.

Don't tell me he turned up
at the beauty parlor.

Whatever for?

Hello?

Hello, Kay.
How are you today?

Miss Kruby no come on phone now.

Miss Kruby very busy
drowning nasty little dog.

And incidentally,
how did he get our new telephone number?

Why, I... Why, isn't
that the strangest thing?

Yes, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.

Going out alone today,
Miss Colby?

I hope so.

Whoa, Diamond.
Diamond.

There we are.
Oh, Dickson.

Should a gentlemen
come here asking for me,

a big chap in a town
car with a mustache,

be on your guard.

On my guard, Ms. Colby?

He's not quite
right in the head.

No?
No.

He'll probably want
a horse, so give him Daisy.

But, Ms. Colby,
we don't send Daisy out anymore.

You never know when
she's going to act up.

That's the whole idea.

But if the gentleman's barmy...

Don't you see, Dickson?

The doctor thinks maybe
if he falls on his head...

Oh, I see. But he's
not violent, miss?

Oh, no.
Not if you humor him.

Just agree to everything he says. Thank you,
Dickson.

Come on, Diamond.

Boss, she mean that?
A crazy man's coming in here?

And we gotta be very cautious.

Yes, sir.

What's the matter, boys?

Careful, don't excite him.
I won't.

Where's the boss?

Hey!

Where'd everybody go?

Uh...

What kind of a place is this?

Would you mind telling me
what's going on here?

Just the boys
having a bit of fun, sir.

Is Miss Colby on
the bridle path?

Yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir,
yes indeed, sir.

Then get me a horse quickly.

Yes, sir. We've got just
the horse for you, sir.

Get Daisy.

Is Daisy all right? I mean,
a little tired of it all?

You see, I haven't
ridden in years.

I understand, sir.
She'll fix you up, sir.

Easy.

Haven't you got something
a little nearer to the ground?

You'll like this one, sir.

Give me a hand, son.

What's the matter with
you fellas? You all crazy?

Yes, sir.
No, sir.

No, sir.
No, sir.

Come on.

Well, he who is about
to die salutes you.

Whoa. Whoa.

Quiet down. Quiet down.

Come on. Come on.
Whoa. Whoa, now, whoa!

Whoa, now, whoa!

Hello there. What a
charming coincidence.

Yes. Isn't it?
As a matter of fact,

the past three weeks have been one
charming coincidence after another.

Are you actually smiling?

No. I'm only
giving my face a rest.

How's Junior?

Junior? I haven't
the vaguest idea.

Mother doesn't
allow him in my room

on account of I set
mousetraps for him.

That's sweet of you.
He loves mice.

Speaking of Junior,
how is the Countess Campanella?

Wonderful, wonderful.

I hope she and all
the little Pekes are well.

Very well.
They're wonderful.

What do you hear
from George? George?

We call George ''Bill'' for
short. He's wonderful too.

Isn't that wonderful?

Yes. We're all wonderful.
Just wonderful.

Whoa!

Scott, are you hurt? Scott.

Sorry to disappoint you,
but I'm afraid I'm all right.

That's too bad.

Nice horse. Might have
broken my neck.

That was the idea.

Fine thing.

I'm so glad you
didn't break your leg,

because it's two miles
back to the stables,

but it's a lovely day
for a walk.

I'll get a hitch.

I'm sure you will with
that winning smile of yours.

Do let me help you mount.

Oh, thank you.
You're so very kind.

Scott Miller, don't you
get on that horse!

You hear me?
Get off my horse!

Sorry, lady, this is
now our horse,

provided you care
to hop up behind me.

No, thank you.

It's a long way back.
I'll get a lift.

Oh, I'm sure you will with
that winning smile of yours.

You better hop up.

Get of that horse.

I'll be seein' you.

Scott Miller! Scott, you...

Oh!

What's the matter,
little girl? Are you lost?

Well, well. Bless my soul.
If it isn't Miss Colby.

Fancy seeing you here. Hop
aboard and I'll give you a lift.

No?

Just trying to be accommodating.

Don't waste your time.

Don't look now,
but there's a snake following you.

Not so fast!

Hello!

For heaven's sake,
Kay, light somewhere.

It's like being in the room
with a restless peacock.

Why do men always
have to be late?

It's fashionable to be late.
I hate being fashionable.

You really like this thing?

It's a good means
of identification.

Do you mean you
think it's too...

You could use
another spangle or two.

What kind of a costume
is Stuart wearing?

I don't know. He said something
about going as a fudge sundae.

How appealing.

There he is now.

I'll get it, Theodore.

Very good, miss.

Good evening.

Now what?

I've come to take you to the ball. Oh,
you have?

Well, I hope you can bear up on it,
but I'm going with Stuart Farnum.

I'm sorry, but you're
going with me.

I told you I was going with Stu.

Stu? How vulgar.

Is that a name or a
condition? That's his name.

Strange.
It's also his condition.

He's gonna take me if he
has to go on a stretcher.

I guess that's
the way it'll have to be.

Stu!

Another Scotch and...

You see?
He's temporarily indisposed.

Did I hear the...

What's that?
Just my escort.

You did this. You deliberately got
him drunk so he couldn't take me.

Oh, now, Kay, please don't say
that. I ran across him at the club.

Accidentally, of course.
Of course.

He was a little nervous
about his costume,

so I suggested he have a couple
of drinks to sort of bolster up.

After he'd had about 12,
I discovered he couldn't hold his liquor.

I can understand that.

So, naturally, the only thing I could
do was offer to take you to the party.

Stu. Stu, get up. Mother,
help me or do something.

I'm afraid he's past help.

Scott,
don't you think this is going a little too far?

I know,
I don't know what I'm going to do with me.

I'm not going.
What?

And waste that lovely costume?

Well, if I go, I'm going alone.

May I offer you my car?

That's sweet of you, Scott.
I'll get your wrap.

Do you mind if I sit
with the chaufeur?

I'll appreciate it.

I'll just take you there
and bring you back.

I promise not to
spoil your evening.

You see, I'm not in costume.

Really? I thought you were
masquerading as a gentleman.

Now, children, have a good time.

Good-bye.
Good night.

Oh, Kay,
wait! What are you going to do with this?

The question is, darling,
what are you gonna do with it?

I don't believe it.
It's too marvelous.

May I?
Johnny.

Hello, Johnny.
Hello.

You've been very busy this evening,
haven't you?

Yeah,
I'm busy trying to duck that Southern belle.

Oh, Amy's house guest?
Mmm-hmm.

Why, Johnny, she's the most adorable
thing I ever saw in my whole life.

Adorable, my eye.
She talks my ear off.

Oh, here she comes.

Johnny, she's very pretty.

Pretty, yeah, but she's a phonograph
record. Don't let her see me.

Hide behind the plume,
dear. At least it's good for something.

Johnny, would you like me to
get her a boyfriend for the evening?

Would I?
Come on, I'll save you.

What are you gonna do?

Keep your eyes and ears open
and your mouth shut. Come on.

Yonder's Johnny looking
for me now. Pardon me.

Why, Johnny,
where did you disappear to?

Just looking for you, Mary Lee.

You've met Kay Colby.
Well, I should say I have.

I've just been admiring you all evening,
Ms. Colby.

I think that costume's
the smartest thing.

Thank you,
honey. Would you like to do me a big favor?

Why, I certainly would.

I'd like to have you dance with a friend of mine,
Scott Miller.

He's terribly attractive and rich,
and dying to meet you.

Well, I declare. Really?

He'd ask you himself,
only he's too bashful.

Oh, well, now,
isn't that the cutest thing? Where is he?

You wait right here with
Johnny. I'll bring him to you.

Oh, incidentally,
he's a little hard of hearing,

so you'll have to yell,
but you don't mind.

Of course not. The poor man.

Yes.

Isn't that a shame?

Oh, Scott.

Pardon me.

How would you like to
be a good Samaritan?

At your service.

There's a little girl visiting
here from the South.

She's awfully sweet,

but she doesn't seem to be
having a very good time.

Be nice and dance
with her, will you?

Anything for you.
Thank you.

I think you'll like her. She's
got an awfully cute accent.

But there's just one thing.

Uh-oh.
Oh, a little thing.

She's slightly deaf
and you'll have to shout.

Is that all?
Shouting's easy.

Ms. Jackson,
this is Mr. Miller,

the gentleman I told you about.

How do you do?

I'm very happy to know you.

Excuse us.

Would you like to dance?
Oh, thank...

Thanks, I'd love to!

How do you like New York?

I simply adore it!

Why, I've never seen so
many tall buildings in all my life.

I've been up and down
in elevators until I'm dizzy.

Johnny, they'll
hear us. Stop.

How long do you expect to stay?

Well, you don't have
to yell at me, you know.

There's nothing
wrong with my hearing.

What's that?

You're the one, I'm not deaf!

I can't stop!
I gotta get out of here!

Lady, we've been victimized.

You reckon?

I reckon.
Oh.

That was a low-down dirty trick!

''How did you like New...''

You're having a lot of fun with me,
aren't you?

Every time I think
of you, you know,

you'd make a marvelous
train announcer.

The worst of it is,
you're probably right.

With the blue uniform and brass
buttons. It might be very becoming.

Might add that romantic
something that I seem to lack.

Big businessmen shouldn't
try to be romantic.

Maybe.

That's all I mean to you,
isn't it? Just a big businessman.

But I do take
a neat fall from a horse.

Beautiful.

Took a neat fall for a girl too.

If you're trying to get serious,
please don't. I'm having much too much fun.

Maybe I can amuse you with a
funny story. You like funny stories?

It all depends on the story.

I've got one about a
button-pusher and a bulldog.

Bulldog?

Well, definitely
not a Pekingese.

You see,
this button-pusher was a fella who was smug

and accustomed to
having his own way,

until along came
a little bulldog.

Now,
he chased this little bulldog for a long time,

but he didn't seem
to be getting anyplace

because she didn't
like his methods.

But he couldn't change

because he was an old
button-pusher and set in his ways.

And the bulldog
was stubborn too.

That's it.
Seems you know the story.

Well, parts of it.

But you seem to
forget that the bulldog

was interested in someone else.

And still is?

And still is.

Well? Isn't there something
more to your story?

No. I guess not.

There's nothing for
the button-pusher to do

but pick up his
marbles and go home.

Good-bye, Kay.

I'll leave the car for you.

You finishing your tea, please?

Yes, Yuki.

Thank you, Ms. Kay.

Give me the trouble department.

Hello, trouble department?

My telephone's out of order. People
can't get me. The phone doesn't ring.

I have. I know
it doesn't ring.

All right, you try it.

Yes, it did that time.

Well,
how is it people can't get me on the telephone?

I'm sorry,
madam. There's nothing we can do about that.

What do you see, Yuki?

You going to party.

Big party. Lots of people.

Who takes me?
Who am I with?

Lots of people, many people.

Yes, but who's next to me?

Lady. Maybe fat lady.

But what gentleman?

No gentlemen. All ladies.

Card party.

Oh, you lose money.

Isn't there one man in that cup?

Man? No. No see no man.

Oh, you get present.

Yes, from whom?

Lovely present.
Jewelry present.

Who gives it to me? What
is he like? Is he a big man?

I not can say for sure.
All the same, I think...

Yes, I sure.

Present come from your mother.

Yuki, you tell
the dullest fortunes.

But no see
Mr. Miller in cup.

Mr. Miller? Whatever
made you think of him?

I think maybe you
marry Mr. Miller sometime.

Me marry Mr. Miller? Huh.

Yes, I think you
loving Mr. Miller.

You think too much.

Thank you, Ms. Kay.

All the same,
when Japanese girl love Japanese man,

she go to him and she say,
''I love you, Mr. Miller.''

Then everything right away fine.

Yes. Then everything
right away great.

The little Japanese girl gets
shoved around the rest of her life.

Japanese girls liking
to be shoved round.

Not this Japanese girl.

Even if I did marry him,
I wouldn't let him know I loved him.

My soul wouldn't be my own.

Besides, who said
I did love him?

Yes, Miss Kay.
Take these things away, Yuki.

Thank you.

Hello, darling.
Hello, dear.

What are you doing with my dog?

Just scratching his stomach.
Mmm-hmm.

Is there any mail for me?

Nothing for you,
darling, as usual.

I should think Bill would let you
hear from him once in a while.

Well, maybe he's busy.

I don't see how you can
consider yourself engaged

to a man who doesn't
even write to you.

My sweet.

Didn't you go out for lunch?

No. I didn't feel like it.

Oh, darling, you were lucky.
Colony was simply packed.

And to make it worse,
your Aunt Emma was gabbier than usual.

Her main topic today was
Scott Miller and that Countess.

She's just back from Honolulu.

Your Aunt Emma tells me
that she heard for a positive fact

that this time they're
going to be married.

I don't care what
Aunt Emma heard.

Darling, if you don't care,
I'm sure I don't.

But naturally I'd hate to see you
lose the finest man you ever knew.

I'm going to lie down
for a little while, dear.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Scott.

I'm fine, I never felt
so well in all my life.

Yes, I have been busy. You know
how it is during horse show week.

Well, what about
lunch with me tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I wish I could,
but I haven't a free moment, honestly.

Oh, that's too bad. Well,
I'll see you around sometime.

But...

Not at all, not at all.

I tell you, gentlemen,
if we lower the price of gasoline even one cent,

we're headed for ruin!

Mr. Brinkerhof,
will you please stick to the point?

What's the good of having a board
of directors if nobody will listen?

We are listening!

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

Now, I've never
overridden this board,

and I'm not going to start now.

Anything I do will be with
your unanimous approval.

But you're going to approve if I have
to sit here until a week from Tuesday.

Now, take your time
because I've got all today,

all tomorrow
and all the next day.

In fact, I can
sit here for weeks.

She's here?

Boys, I've been
thinking this thing over.

I don't know a more
levelheaded bunch of men

in the country than you fellas.

Now, I've decided that whatever
you decide is all right with me.

Good-bye. Good-bye.

What's the matter?
Is he sick?

Well, this is a surprise.

I hope I didn't disturb you.

Not at all.
I wasn't doing anything.

Just fooling around with the
boys. We never do any work.

I thought you told me you
were going to be so busy today.

Oh, I am. As a matter of fact,
I'm practically at four other places right now

trying to get rid of
these milk fund tickets.

Is that all that
brought you here?

Is that all?
I have 200 left.

How much are they?
Only $10 a piece.

Yes, sir?

Make out a check for
$2,000 and mail it to...

Metropolitan Charities.

You hear that?
Yes, sir.

Your calling last
night was an inspiration.

I don't know why I didn't
think of you before.

That was very
sweet of you, Scott.

Leaves me the rest of the
day with nothing to do.

Fine, would you be interested in
seeing how big business is conducted?

How little Napoleon works?
Uh-huh.

I'd love it.

Private office?
Monsieur.

So, this is where you
do your serious thinking.

Right. Now I
understand your success.

What'll it be?
A small glass of sherry.

Very cute.

Is that dry?

Oui, madame, very dry.

Here's to you and the Countess.

Thanks, but why the Countess?

Well, isn't it impending?

Nobody consulted me.

I've heard rumors.

Uh-uh.

You'll be sorry to hear my
feelings haven't changed.

I'm still going to marry you.

You better be careful. One of these
days I might take you up on that.

Couldn't make it
today, could you?

Well, if I did, it would
only be for your money.

I never look a gift
horse in the mouth.

You want me anyway?

Definitely.

All right. But this isn't going to be
any Taming of the Shrew, you know.

I'm not going to come crawling
after you've broken my spirit.

I'll take my chance.

It's a long one.
I like 'em that way.

Well, guess that settles it.

Oh,
no. There should be a kiss to seal the bargain.

Is that necessary?

It's pretty standard.

All right.

Can you spare it?
I think so.

Well, good-bye.

Oh, no, there's one more detail.

What happens now?
Come on, I'll show you.

I warn you,
I won't sign anything without a lawyer.

You won't have to sign a thing.

Just one minute.

What's this?

The customary engagement ring.

You were all prepared.

Oh, yes, yes indeed.
Well prepared.

When did you get these?

The day after
you turned me down.

Sure of yourself, weren't you?

Just a gambler.

A gambler who knew he'd win.

The fact that I don't love
you doesn't spoil your victory.

Well, I'm glad we
understand each other.

Which one of these
little knick-knacks

would you like to have me wear?

They're all for you. I thought
you might like to change of.

How romantic.

Now that we're engaged,
I hope we'll see each other occasionally.

Whatever is customary,
Mr. Miller.

Let me see.

Careful, Mother, now.
Be careful.

Do be quiet. How
can I do this if you talk?

Scott! Hurry up
with the cocktails!

I need something
to steady my hand.

Coming right up.

Oh, hurry up, Mother.
I only have one match left.

So have I,
we'll split the pot. Shut up.

Easy...

Oh, Brinkie!

It's the gardenias,
my dear. They always bring on my hay fever.

I see a swell place.

Kay, your tongue,
you'll bite it off.

Shut up, shut up.

I win. I win.
Not yet.

I can still tie you.

Oh, Brinkie,
don't you put that match on. I want to win.

Hold your hats, kids.
Hold your hats.

Fooled you!

Oh! Brinkie!

I win all the money,
I win all the money. Goody, goody, goody.

Who won?

Brinkie's hay fever.

That'll teach you
to gamble with women.

Wasn't fair. She only won
by a nose. What's that?

A Bronx and a good one.

A Bronx? Take it away.

Last time I drank
one of those things,

they had to send me to Carlsbad
to have my liver overhauled.

How do you like this fellow?
After mixing them myself.

Ungrateful, I calls it.

Don't touch it, Kay.
It'll poison you.

Let me mix you one of
my famous Packeroos.

What's a Packeroo?

Shh. It's a secret formula
I picked up in Cuba.

From a horse doctor.

Yes, from a horse... No.

The man never did
appreciate my artistry.

Brinkie, I trust you.
I'll try one.

I promise you,
you'll never forget it.

That's what I'm afraid of.

How about you, Mrs. Colby?
I'll try one too.

One is all you need.

Come on, you old rebel.
I'll show you the stuff.

I'll be back in
a moment, ladies.

We'll whip this evening
into something yet.

By the way, what is a Packeroo?

I don't know. I never
heard the word before,

but I'll mix up
something potent.

May as well cancel dinner now.

Heaven's sake, Kay.

Aren't you ever going to
stop playing that stupid game?

Shh. Busy.

Pure waste of time,
that's what it is.

How about one here?
No, no, no, go away.

I'm trying something new.

You know too much about it now.

Poor Scott.
You beat him every night.

I'm the champion.

Well, anyway, you're being pleasant to him lately,
and that's something.

That's because he stopped
trying to rule the roost.

Anything settled yet?

About what?
The wedding.

Oh, Scott wants to hold of till
he hears about that Russian deal.

''Russian deal''?
What Russian deal?

He's working on
a contract with Russia,

and if the deal is made,
we'll go there on our honeymoon.

Good heavens. You have to wait
for the Russians to get married?

Well,
Brinkie's of on one of his short stories again.

Probably last an hour.

He doesn't even know I
left him still talking.

That's cruel, Scott.

He doesn't care.

The other day while he was
spinning his favorite yarn at the club,

his audience changed three
times. He never knew the difference.

You stay here.
I'll take care of him.

I wish you hadn't
taught me this silly game.

I never worked so
hard in my life.

It was probably started
by the match industry.

I'm all worn out.

I meant to ask you,
how is that Russian deal getting along?

So-so.

I guess you must be terribly
anxious to get it settled.

Not particularly. Bad business
rushing that sort of thing.

Heard anything from
Bill lately? Hmm?

Bill. Any news?

Why, no, nothing unusual. I finally
got that letter of to him, though.

What letter?

I've been trying to write him
for days telling him about us.

Oh. I wrote and
rewrote it a dozen times.

It's the most difficult
thing I ever had to do.

You think he'll take it badly?

Well, naturally,
getting a letter like that isn't very pleasant.

I feel horrible about it.

Well, you needn't.

Bill's not going to get that letter,
Kay. He's on his way home.

He's on his way home?
He's coming back?

Yes. I sent for him.

I've wanted to talk to you
about it for several days.

Well, what happened,
Scott? Bill hasn't done anything, has he?

No, no. As a matter of fact,
he's going to work for us here.

Well, why bring him home now?

I'm giving him back to you, Kay.

Strange,
isn't it? Particularly after the battle I put up.

It's amazing how little a man
really knows about himself.

I wanted you so badly that I thought
the fact you didn't love me wouldn't matter.

But I was wrong.
It does matter.

What are you driving at, Scott?

I once had an idea
I was a pretty tough hombre.

Ride roughshod over anything
or anybody to get what I wanted.

And I got it.
But it's no go.

I discovered I was,
well, just plain human.

My vanity's been hurt, Kay,
and it's squealing its head of.

I don't want to marry a woman
who's in love with someone else.

There's something
wrong here, Scott.

I can't believe you're just
handing me back to Bill.

You're not given to
gestures like that.

You're right, I'm not.
Just gambling again.

Gambling on what?

That in time you'll get
Bill out of your system.

Oh, I see.

I may be wrong, Kay,

but I've always had a notion that
you're not really in love with Bill.

That it was just an idea
you were clinging to.

So, I thought that if
I brought him back...

I'd get tired of him.
Is that it?

I'd realize I'm a stupid brat
who doesn't know her own mind.

Now, Kay, don't... Meet Kay Colby,
the human guinea pig.

That's silly. Still pushing buttons,
aren't you?

Still running the world.

It never occurred to you to consult me,
did it?

You toy around with a man's
career as if he were a puppet.

But I haven't hurt him... And
now you're doing the same to me.

That's a big mistake, Scott.

Because I refuse to be
a puppet in your show.

I'll see Bill.
I'll see plenty of him.

Thank you for
sending him back to me.

Wait a minute, Kay.
Will you listen to me?

Kay! Kay!

Kay! What happened, Scott?

Come in, Brinkie.

You want to see me, Scott?

Brinkie, you think you can
run this office for a month or so?

Why, certainly.
Anyone could run this...

I mean, yes,
of course. Why?

I think I'll get away for a while. Europe,
the Orient, anywhere.

You can't get her off your
mind by running away.

Look, I'll tell you what to do.

You've already
told me what to do.

I brought Wadsworth back
at your suggestion.

I still think it's a good idea.

Yeah,
swell. He arrived this morning and look.

Right back in my lap.

And now she's right back in his,
eh? Exactly.

Perfect feminine psychology.

She fights you every step of
the way. She's that kind of a girl.

And now that we're on the subject,
you're that kind of a fellow.

Neither one of you
will give an inch.

Well, we've certainly made
a fine mess of things.

Not at all.
You're goin' great.

Now all you got
to do is follow up.

I tell you,
the girl loves you. Mmm-hmm.

You don't think she cares anything
about this Wadsworth, do you?

Now the smart thing to do is
just what she doesn't expect.

Instead of being sore about him,
take the opposite tack.

Make him your pal. Build
him up. Give him a better job.

Take every obstacle
out of their way,

so she can't have the slightest
excuse not to marry him.

And then watch her squirm.

How do you know so
much about women?

I'm a bachelor.

Oh, this is all too
complicated, Bill.

Let's just have Scotch and soda.

Cordon Rouge, 1926.

You can't celebrate the return of
the prodigal with Scotch and soda.

It's gotta be champagne.
All right, prodigal.

Mr. Prodigal to you.

You are glad I'm back,
aren't you, honey?

Of course I'm glad. You remember
me. I'm the gal you left behind.

Well,
then let's celebrate right. All right.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.
They doubled my salary today.

Doubled your salary?
Oh, that's...

What do you mean they
doubled your salary? For what?

Don't you think I'm
worth it or something?

When did this happen?

He told me about
it this afternoon.

Oh, he did,
did he? You didn't accept it, of course.

Accept it? Say,
what's the matter with you?

Do you mean to tell me you'd
take anything from Scott Miller?

Why not?
He's my boss, isn't he?

Just because you got tight one
night and promised to marry...

I wasn't tight.

Well, it's all over anyway.

There's no reason why I
shouldn't accept the raise from him.

Come on, let's dance.

Gosh, honey. I thought you were
gonna be tickled to death I got a raise.

Now we can plan on
getting married right away.

Yes, I suppose we can,

but I still wish you were
working for somebody else.

Why are you so sore at Scott
Miller? He's been swell to me.

Oh, Bill,
you're mad! You're such a glorious maniac!

There's Scott Miller and the
Countess. Really? Where?

Hello.

Hello there. Kay,
how are you? Fine.

You remember the Contessa.
Yes, of course.

Hello. And Billy, lamb.
How are you, darling?

Swell,
Janey. I'm glad to see you again.

Isn't it fun here tonight?
Yes. Isn't it?

Let's have a drink together.
We'd love to.

Fine. See you later.
All right.

Billy, lamb. You do all right on boats,
don't you?

Okay. You can't play deck tennis
all the time. You've gotta mix.

Well,
then maybe you better stay off the water.

All right, honey.
Anything you say.

From now on, I'm of water.
Nothing but champagne.

To us,
darling. My joys will be your joys.

And your troubles
will be my troubles.

But I haven't any troubles.

Wait till you marry me.

Waiter. Another bottle.
Right away, sir.

Come on, honey. Drink up.
Let's get underway.

Yes. Way under.

What's the matter, honey?

We're out to be happy and
laugh and enjoy ourselves.

Yes. I know.

Well, then let's do it.
This is our reunion.

We don't seem to be having
as much fun as we used to.

I am. I'm having
a lot of fun.

Oh, and I got a swell
idea for the weekend too.

Bob Metcalf wants us
to go out on his boat.

I don't like boats.

But you know the Metcalfs,
they're a million laughs.

I still don't like boats.

With Mr. Miller's
compliments.

Well!
Is that so?

Well, you can send it back to
Mr. Miller with our compliments.

No, wait. We can't do that,
Kay. He's my boss.

Well, he's not my boss.

Well,
we're not gonna get anywhere by insulting him.

So I found out over
the period of months.

What'll I do, sir?

Leave it.
We'll open it later.

Waiter, will you see if they can stop
this thingamajig from going around?

I'm getting dizzy.

Yes, miss.

I think that was darn
nice of Scott Miller.

Oh,
there they are. Thanks a lot! That was swell.

Not at all.
It was a great pleasure.

Bill really is a dear. He kept
me amused the whole trip.

It was all I could do to keep
him from getting of the boat

with me at Honolulu.

Too bad he didn't.

It is wiser to be friendly to him. After all,
he is my...

If you tell me he's your boss again,
I'll scream.

Well, we should.

Ought to be nice to both of
them. They're gonna be married.

Yes,
and I suppose nice to all their children too.

I'm glad this thing stopped.

Get the check.
I want to go home.

Go home? What for? It's early. Besides,
we gotta knock off this bottle first.

You've had enough,
and I want to go.

Don't be silly.
We haven't even started.

Hey, what's this? You're not goin' home,
are you?

It's a shame, Billy.

We promised the Larrimores
we'd drop in on their party.

But we were waiting for you to
join us before we opened your bottle.

We'll make it another time.
Soon, I hope.

Scott, why don't you ask them
up to the country for the weekend?

We're having some divine people.

I'd love to,
if I thought they'd come.

Of course we'll come.

But Bill, you're forgetting
about the Metcalfs.

We promised to go
out on their boat.

Honey, but...
But it's this weekend, dear.

Don't you remember?

I'm terribly sorry, Scott,
but you will ask us another time?

Maybe next week.
Good night.

Good night.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night, Billy.
Good night, Janey.

You're certainly hasty
about accepting invitations.

Yes, but, honey...
Yes, I know he's your boss.

But you said you
didn't like boats.

I don't,
but rather than spend a weekend with them,

I'd even take
the comical Metcalfs.

Well, it's all too much for me.

Maybe you're right,
we'd better go home.

Go home? What for?

It's early.

But I thought...

I'm gonna get drunk.

Then maybe I'll know
what's going on around here.

You're not planning on coming with me,
by any chance?

Certainly not.

I have better ways to spend
my declining weekends, dear.

Where are you going?
To Scott's?

Why should that interest you?

Doesn't.

You can send my bag down now,
Yuki. Yes, Mrs. Colby.

How you can spend a weekend
with those dull Metcalfs is beyond me.

But of course Bill
will be a big help.

I don't know why I have to
consult you about my friends.

I'm free, white and 21.

At least Scott's
party will be amusing.

I hope you enjoy it.

Hello, dear.

Well, what are you doing here? I
thought you were going to Scott Miller's.

I didn't say so.

From the way you spoke,
I naturally assumed you were going there.

Can't help what
you assume, darling.

Whose boat are you going on?

Friends, dear. Friends.

What friends?

I don't see why I have
to tell you everything.

I'm free, white
and in my early 40s.

Well, if I'd only known,
we could have saved a taxi fare.

What yacht, madam?
I'm Mrs. Colby.

Yes indeed, Mrs. Colby.
Right this way, Mrs. Colby.

And I'm Miss Colby,
I'm looking for the Gargantuan, the Metcalf boat.

I believe there is a young man
waiting for you down by the float.

Be careful of your
footing, Mrs. Colby.

Thank you so much, young man.

This is the tender for you,
Mrs. Colby. Thank you.

Think you were royalty or something. Good-bye,
dear.

Kay, come on.

Hurry up!

So, that's the Gargantuan.

Did you bring your seasick
remedy? I don't get seasick.

It's cunning,
Kay. Do you get into it or put it on?

Well, good-bye,
dear. Have a good time. I'm sure you will in that.

Don't fall overboard.

Kay, where have you been?
I've been waiting here for an hour.

Will you please tell me what
you're doing in this thing?

Don't you like it?

''Like it''? Well,
where are the Metcalfs?

Bob can't get away till 6:00.
He'll pick us up in the big boat later.

Pick us up where?
Over in the cove.

Thanks, son.
I'll take the bags.

Holy smoke! What have
you got in these bags?

Where do you think we're going?

Well, I didn't know
we were going canoeing.

What are you talking' about? This
is a sweet little job. Come on. Get in.

I hope you know something
about running this sweet little job.

''Running it''? Listen,
that's all I did when I was a kid.

Untie the bow line.

Why can't we wait for the Metcalfs
and go on their regular boat?

'Cause we'll have a lot of fun
sailing around this afternoon.

Go below. See how cute it is.

Well...

Cozy, isn't it?

Compact. That's what
I like about it.

Say, what are you
doing to those eggs?

Well, they started to scramble themselves,
so I finished it.

I don't want to be rude, honey,

but they don't
look very appetizing.

They're all I can find. They'll have
to hold you till the Metcalfs get here.

Aren't you gonna have any?

I'm just gonna have coffee.
I'm not gonna spoil my appetite.

Be kind of fun if they didn't show up,
wouldn't it?

Then we could be alone, sort of.

What do you mean ''sort of''?

Well, you know, we're engaged,
aren't we? Come on. Sit down.

Wait till I pour my coffee.

Float ahoy!

There they are now.
It's about time.

Mr. Miller's compliments,
Miss Colby.

And will you and your party
join him aboard for dinner?

Mr. Miller?
Is he in this cove?

Just ahead,
madam. We're laying of your starboard bow.

Tell Mr. Miller
we'd be delighted.

We'd be nothing of the sort.

Yoo-hoo! Billy!

Hurry up! We're
holding dinner for you.

Come as you are,
don't wait to change. Scott won't mind.

What shall I say to
Mr. Miller? That we'll be over.

That we will not be over.

Mr. Miller anticipated a little
disagreement on the matter.

So, Mr. Miller hopes you'll accept this
hamper with Mr. Miller's compliments.

Well, we certainly... Miss
Colby's compliments to Mr. Miller.

And Miss Colby says that
Mr. Miller can take his hamper

and his invitation
and his yacht and go...

I will without fail, madam.

No need to be insulting,
Kay. I'll take that.

No, Kay.
You leave that.

- Any other message, miss?
- Yes.

Tell Mr. Miller we're
having a perfectly fine time

and do not wish to be annoyed.

I will indeed, miss.

We're expecting a bit of a blow.

Mr. Miller suggests you make
sure of your ground tackle.

Tell him to make sure of his own. Yes,
miss.

Cast of! All speed ahead.

Well, thanks just the same.

Oh, don't mention it.

Well, she's not coming over.

Don't weaken. Give her time.
And be plenty tough with her.

Is that the way you handled
the women you couldn't get?

Certainly. Whenever...

Let that pass, will you,
please? Yeah.

Start this boat. I want
to get out of this cove.

What are you talking about?
We gotta wait for the Metcalfs.

Well, if we're not here,
they'll look around for us.

Are you so crazy about that guy

you can't stand being in
the same cove with him?

I'm not crazy about him.

- I hate the sight of him.
- Yes, you do.

You fall all over yourself every
time his name is mentioned.

Don't be a fool.
I don't intend to be.

I've been a sap long enough.

What do you think I am? Blind?

You're not fooling me. You're
just using me to burn him up.

And after several more rude remarks,
she threw the hamper at me.

She didn't miss either.

Was it because the others
objected to their leaving?

There were no others aboard,
madam. Just the two.

Weren't the Metcalfs with them? No,
madam.

That'll do.

Scott, did you hear that?
Yes. I heard.

What about it?
I've got to get over there.

We can't leave them
unchaperoned all night.

Why not? That's what
she wants, isn't it?

Don't you care?
Not a bit.

She can do whatever she
likes as far as I'm concerned.

Well, not as far
as I'm concerned.

Get me a boat.
I'm going right over.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

It was your idea to change
my party to the yacht,

and you're going
to stay right here.

But if there's
a storm coming up...

Let her sit in it.
It'll do her good.

Bill, will you stop drinking that
wine and get this boat started?

We can't stay here
with the storm coming up.

Oh, but we are.
We're staying right here

where you can be near
the man you love so much.

I'm giving you both a break.

After all, he is my boss.
I've gotta be nice to him.

Fine romance.

I come all the way from Japan,
sacrifice my whole future, just for you.

Oh, you came back
only because of me.

Certainly I did. What'd
you think I came back for?

I don't know. I had an
idea your boss sent for you.

Well, whatever it was,
I was crazy.

Float ahoy!

Hey, Bob. Come on in.

Beg pardon, miss.

Mr. Miller instructed me
to tell you not to be idiots.

The storm is going
to be very heavy.

You can tell Mr. Miller that the
idiots can take care of themselves,

storm or no storm.

Tell the old boy to come
on over and have a drink.

His girl's crying her
eyes out about him.

You won't come, miss?

No, I won't, and
get out of here!

Oh, Bill, please
get up from there.

Let's get out of this cove. I'm
afraid the boat's gonna turn over.

That suits me fine.

Bill, I'm scared!

Scott, you've got to
do something.

They're in danger. You
can't leave her over there.

I offered to help her.
That's all I can do.

You're cruel.

I'll see the captain myself.

Afraid it won't do you any good.

Oh, Bill,
come on. We can't stay in here. We'll drown.

No. Oh, help me,
please. Oh, God!

We don't want any help!

Go on, get on this boat, miss.

Don't you get on this boat!

I don't want you to get
on this boat! You hear me?

No!

No, take your hands of me!

Get aboard. I'm not
gonna get on that boat.

Come on, get her on board.
No...

No I don't want...

Keep your foot in there.

It's a wonder you
weren't drowned.

It's too hot.

That's the way it should be.

Now, I'm going down
to get you a hot toddy.

If you see Scott Miller,
you better warn him to stay away from me.

I doubt if he'll have any time to see you,
dear. He's in a big bridge game.

Keep your feet in
there till I get back.

Why, hello, Scott. Come in.

I'm just going down to get
something to ward of her cold,

I'll be right back.

You all right?
A lot you care.

What do you mean by sending
those thugs over to manhandle me?

You didn't expect me to leave
my guests just to rush over

and pick up a couple of water-soaked halfwits,
did you?

Certainly not. How could I?

Besides, think of the Duchess
or Countess or whatever she is.

Shouldn't you be
getting back to her?

Yes. As a matter
of fact, I should.

Well, don't let me detain you.

And I'm getting of this boat
as soon as possible, too.

You're getting
right into that bed

as soon as you get out
of that mustard bath.

Who do you think
you're talkin' to?

You heard what I said. You
get into that bed and stay there.

I don't want any more
annoyance from you.

Oh...

I'll show him.

Well, who do you
think you're lookin' at?

Oh, I'm dying.

Oh, poor darling.

This will fix you up.

Oh, Janey, my head
is killing me.

Yes, I know. Now,
you drink this Rock and Rye.

Best thing in
the world for cold.

Drink it all.

That's strong.
No, it isn't.

Poor lamb, I know it hurts.

Be careful, honey.
You'll take my cold.

I'll take anything
from you, darling.

And my mother used to say,
''You'll never get poor from taking.''

Yeah.

Oh!

There, there.

That was nothing to what
happened to me in Calcutta.

I had the fiercest battle
with two polar bears.

They were
quarreling over a seal...

Hello, everybody.

Why, Kay!
How are you feeling, honey?

I never felt better in my...

Brinkie, darling,
is this going to be our dance?

Uh-huh.
Oh, good.

It's so marvelous
that everybody's so gay.

How do you like my new coiffure?

''Coiffure.'' I thought I
told you to get into bed.

I'll do whatever I please.

You will? We'll see
about that, young lady.

Scott, put me down.

Put me down, you big walrus!

Walrus! That reminds me. Once
I was chasing a flock of walrus...

Put me down.
I'll put you down.

Now, stay there.

When I give an order on this boat,
it's usually carried out.

Get out of here.

If you were a man,
I'd poke you right in the nose.

Wouldn't that be
repeating yourself?

I should have hit you harder.

You have a disposition like...

You're a schizophrenic,
that's what you are.

A what?
A schizophrenic.

And if you don't know what it means,
you can look it up.

I know the meaning of
any word you can think of.

Oh!

Kay, put your feet
right back into that mustard.

Do you want to catch pneumonia?
I don't care what I catch.

Do I have to tie you in this
tub? Put your feet in there.

Now, where's Junior? Junior?

Junior?

I bet he's with that
Countess' dogs again.

Junior?

Schizo... Schizo...
''Schizophrenic.''

''Delusions of
grandeur predominate...''

''Most insane killers
are of this class.''

And on top of everything else,
you're a hyper-thyroid.

If you don't stop following me around,
I'll put you in irons.

That's a job for a full-grown
man. That's a laugh.

You talk about full-grown men

with that case of arrested
development you're engaged to.

You'll never be half the
man Bill is. I hope not.

You two should be very happy.

You're equally intelligent.
You deserve each other.

And we adore each other.

What do you think of that?
That's great.

You can spend the rest
of your lives sinking boats,

falling of cliffs or anything else
your feeble minds can concoct...

You stop yelling at me,
you button-pusher.

You bet I'm a button-pusher.

And I'm going to keep right on being
a button-pusher until the day I die.

And what's more,
you're going to like it.

I'm getting sick of this.

Who do you think you're
going to push around now?

I'm pushing for the captain.
He's going to marry us.

Marry us? I wouldn't marry you
if you were the last man alive.

That's fine.

Do you think he heard you?

For richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health.

And do you promise to love,
honor and obey this man...

Just a minute. There's
gonna be no obeying in my life.

Oh, yes,
there is. There's gonna be a whole lot of obeying.

As a matter of fact,
there's going to be nothing but obeying.

Do you take this woman
to be your wedded wife?

Yes,
I do. If you think you're going to...

Do you take this man to be
your wedded husband? Yes.

And now, with the power vested
in me as the master of this ship,

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

And may I wish you a happy,
peaceful, married life.