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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,250 --> 00:00:05,959 Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden 2 00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:10,447 but it's been a good home to us - to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, 3 00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:16,201 who l'm proud of, cos every single one of 'em reminds me a little of me. 4 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:20,766 They can all think for themselves, which they've got me to thank for. 5 00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:21,925 Quick, leg it! 6 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:24,325 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him 7 00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,361 Phillip any more. 8 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,878 lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for the others 9 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:31,398 cos she's disappeared into thin air. 10 00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:34,248 And Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 11 00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:36,440 One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah. 12 00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:42,122 Two, nits love it. Debbie, sent by God, total angel - you've to check 13 00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,685 your change but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 14 00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:48,449 Plus lickle Liam, who's gonna be a star some day. 15 00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:50,685 Sheila, me bird, couldn't be happier, 16 00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,402 one plate short of a full set, like. 17 00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:56,329 And fantastic neighbours Kev and Veronica, 18 00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:58,725 lend ya anything, well, almost anything. 19 00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:03,400 Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell. Last of the lonely hearts 20 00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:06,522 and a psychologist's wet dream. Still, nobody's perfect. 21 00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:10,927 But all of 'em to a man know, first and foremost, 22 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:15,919 one of the most vital necessities in life is, they know how to throw a party! 23 00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:17,198 Scatter! 24 00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:21,405 (Frank) 'Me first stag night, the barman tells me a joke. 25 00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:24,567 'Kid goes up to his dad, says he's heard that in some countries, 26 00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:26,362 'a man doesn't even know his wife till he marries her. 27 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:29,925 'His dad tells him, ''That happens in every fucking country, son.'' 28 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:33,007 'And it's true, innit? l mean, if l'd have known Monica 29 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,928 'was gonna be a lezzer, l'd never have married her, would l? 30 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:41,124 'Well, yeah, probably, l mean, l'd have thought l was in with a, you know, flesh sandwich. 31 00:01:41,170 --> 00:01:45,368 'But the point l'm making, is, you just don't know, do you? 32 00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:49,528 'Spin the fucking wheel. So that's the point of a stag do, innit? 33 00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:52,926 'Cos like the chief Roman said, ''Veni, vidi, vodka.'' 34 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:58,328 'Numb me fucking senses, boys, l'm comin' in!' Whoa! Not fucking Marty! 35 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:22,401 All right! Oh, that's lovely... 36 00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:23,963 Out the way, mate. 37 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,846 No, Sheila. 38 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,245 Tell me it's not Ground Force? 39 00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,167 lt's for the conservatory, Frank! We're gonna have frosted glass 40 00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,919 and blackout blinds for when l get a bit insidey outsidey. 41 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,928 Hello? The garden's only ten feet two. 42 00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:40,881 What the fuck we need a conservatory for? 43 00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:43,160 The wedding! You know what l'm like, 44 00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:45,883 five hours out here and l'll go completely doolally. 45 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:48,125 Well, put up a fucking wigwam or summat. 46 00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:49,444 Too much daylight. 47 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:53,086 < How many times, eh? 48 00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,690 lf you cold-turkey your tablets, l need telling 49 00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:59,723 cos A, they're worth money, B, they're a magnet for every 50 00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:04,480 fucking bronco for miles. How the hell much is all this costing? 51 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,519 8,000 plus VAT. 52 00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:08,482 Well, we knocked a few quid off for signing on the spot. 53 00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:11,727 There. There you go. 54 00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:15,399 l said l wanted a conservatory, Frank! lt's my money. 55 00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,441 You haven't got eight grand. 56 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,400 l've got a mortgage. 57 00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:19,599 Three, two, one, back in the room. 58 00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:23,928 Fuck's a re-mortgage costing me...us...you? 59 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,200 Peanuts, Frank! Cos l paid off the house last year. 60 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,764 But if l'm gonna be honest, l missed filing all those bits 61 00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:32,280 of paper they used to send me. So l took the money out and everything. 62 00:03:32,330 --> 00:03:34,719 l hid it in here. 63 00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:38,319 Well, you always said l shouldn't let people take advantage. 64 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,399 Come here, you! 65 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:48,484 God, you are a total one-off! 66 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,800 Why don't you let Frank take care of that, eh? 67 00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:53,839 OK. 68 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,048 So how much you over-quoted? 69 00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,921 Three grand? Four? Let's say four. 70 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:02,723 Eh? Four grand, split it 50-50. Gizza receipt for the lot. 71 00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:04,089 Job's eight grand. 72 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:06,405 On your fucking bike, Tonto! You seen Watchdog? 73 00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,803 Yeah? 74 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,569 Presenter? Sheila's brother. Twins. 75 00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:12,441 He's Scottish. 76 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,242 Phone A Friend or fuck off. 77 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:20,161 We run an honest business here. Pay our taxes, all above board. 78 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:22,519 l've just pulled a cake out if we're all done and dusted? 79 00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,481 Beer, anyone? Gin and tonic? 80 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,964 Nah, l'm all right, thanks, love. And he's had enough. 81 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,319 Where the fuck did you dig them up? 82 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,281 Advert in the Church Gazette. 83 00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,967 Right. 84 00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:41,286 Well, thanks for telling me. 85 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,525 Veronica! 86 00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:46,368 Those tights you gave me have got a hole in. 87 00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:47,240 Not now, Mum. 88 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,246 Ooh, what's the matter with her? Lost a fiver, found a... 89 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,803 l said, not now! 90 00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:57,969 l've just found out me lVF's failed again. 91 00:04:58,010 --> 00:05:00,763 l don't know why you want kids anyway. Pain in the bloody arse, 92 00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:05,361 if you ask me. Bleed you dry, take away the best years of your life 93 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,844 and then they grow up to be a total waste. 94 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:12,168 Tell you what, Mum, don't mince your words, say what you really feel. 95 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,883 l mean, it's not much better from where l'm standing, is it? 96 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,886 l mean, what did l get? 97 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,568 Jane of the fucking jungle. 98 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,283 But with a beard. 99 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,560 Wedding dress. Done. 100 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,761 Order flowers. Done. Wedding cake? 101 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:33,961 Martha Stewart Berry Basket Cake with wooden dowel supports, if l can 102 00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:37,719 get the wooden dowels. lf not, l'll just have to use toilet roll holders. 103 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,443 And you're making that yourself, so, done! Right, 104 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:44,085 that brings us to bridesmaids and you'll obviously want Karen as one. 105 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,247 Me? Bridesmaid? You must be joking! 106 00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:50,805 So that just leaves me, and Liam as page boy. 107 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,205 l've just had to turn your water off, love, while we do the digging. 108 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,239 OK. 109 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:57,521 Right, so that's me and Liam, and l need a bridesmaid's dress, 110 00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:59,162 so l've found one... 111 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,166 Digging? What does he mean, digging? 112 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,806 But l don't understand. Why are you digging? 113 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,124 For the foundations! 114 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,604 The ground's solid! Just put it on there, can't you? 115 00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:12,483 Well, it won't stand up. We've only gotta dig a few feet. 116 00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,646 l said no! l don't want digging! 117 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:17,079 But if we don't dig, you can't have a conservatory. 118 00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:19,121 - All right, just forget it then. - You what? 119 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,206 l said, forget it. l don't want a conservatory. 120 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,968 Are you joking or what? l've booked time in for this job. 121 00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:23,999 And you can't have a refund! 122 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,008 Then keep the money! And the cake too, if you want it. 123 00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:31,880 Look, l've bought all the gear now! Let's just get on with it. 124 00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,048 Well, that's it then, innit? 125 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,605 No more freebies on the NHS. 126 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:46,201 And me and Kev sure as shit haven't got two grand for going private, 127 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,683 so it looks like game over. 128 00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:50,563 ls it still Kev's sperm that's the problem? 129 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,521 Still doing backstroke. 130 00:06:52,570 --> 00:07:00,124 Thing is, he never wanted 'em, till bloody mouth almighty started going on about it. 131 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,649 Now he's desperate. 132 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:05,838 How am l gonna tell him that they've failed again? l mean... 133 00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,927 When they've been hand picked and scored out of a hundred. 134 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:14,328 And kids like Mandy Maguire can get pregnant from just fucking sneezing. 135 00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:15,689 How's that fair? 136 00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,006 Have you ever thought about having any? 137 00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:24,888 Yeah. Dunno... 138 00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:26,409 < Lot of work, aren't they? 139 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:43,042 < Leave my patio alone! 140 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:46,366 Leave it alone! Don't make me do this cos l will! 141 00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:48,640 Hey! What's going on? Sheila! Sheila! 142 00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:51,568 l don't want it! l don't want it! 143 00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,601 lt's all right. No digging. > 144 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:56,084 l don't want them to do it. 145 00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,643 They won't, they won't. 146 00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,328 lt'll be all right, it's all right, they'll leave it alone. 147 00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:01,247 Fucking hell! 148 00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:04,641 l'm so sorry. l'm so sorry, Frank. 149 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:07,443 lt's just so awful. lt was so awful. 150 00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:09,128 All right, all right. There's no need for... 151 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:12,048 Frank! There's something l need to tell you. 152 00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:14,684 l can't marry you without telling you! 153 00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:16,163 You're not a bloke, are you? 154 00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:18,041 No! Course not! 155 00:08:18,090 --> 00:08:20,001 No. No. 156 00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,563 l was married, before... 157 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:24,443 before Eddie. 158 00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:26,720 Before Eddie...Karen's dad, Eddie? 159 00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,806 Yeah, Sheldon. 160 00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:32,604 But he died... of a heart attack. 161 00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:35,448 Oh, well, 162 00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:37,446 you know, 163 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,082 some of these blokes these days 164 00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:40,882 don't take care of themselves, do they, you know? 165 00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:42,522 No exercise, pissing it up... 166 00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,525 But l mean, 167 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,323 if it's putting you off getting married again, Sheila... 168 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:50,644 No! No! No, it's not that. 169 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,643 lt's just... 170 00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,487 he's buried 171 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,725 in the garden. 172 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:07,200 You serious? No coffin, nothing?! 173 00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:10,245 She just wrapped him in a doily, 174 00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:14,203 said a few Hail Marys and shoved him six feet under. 175 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,844 lt's what he would've wanted, she reckons. 176 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,960 Give us another pint, Kev, and a couple of E's. 177 00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,649 < lt's a bit fucking weird, though. 178 00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:24,442 Course it's a bit fucking weird! 179 00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:26,845 Fucking Michael Jackson video in your back garden! 180 00:09:26,890 --> 00:09:29,723 Stiff under the whatsit bush! lt's hardly Mr And Mrs, is it? 181 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,682 Hey, d'you reckon Karen knows? 182 00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:34,766 Hey, Karen... 183 00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:37,483 Don't tell her, you stupid bastard! 184 00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:39,088 lt's not like he's her dad. 185 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,564 So what did Sheila said about it? ls she all right? 186 00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:43,566 How the fuck should l know? 187 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:48,839 Ooh. 188 00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,403 Oh. 189 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,922 Hey, hey. So, er... So should we have heard from the hospital? 190 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,642 Should have been today. 191 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,646 lt might be tomorrow. 192 00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,362 l'll take him home, shall l? 193 00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,765 Make sure Sheila's all right, find out what l can. 194 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,687 Come on, tosspot! 195 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,601 Cheers! 196 00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:15,118 Ah, look at that, Liam. You'd look sweet in that. 197 00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:16,444 Oi! 198 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,845 Who's the - spunk face - short arse outside? 199 00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:21,643 Who? Oh, not again! 200 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:23,248 What does he want? 201 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,518 Where? 202 00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:26,879 Ah, go on Debs, he's your boyfriend, in' he? 203 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,488 You're joking, aren't you?! 204 00:10:28,530 --> 00:10:31,408 He's only about four! Someone tell him l've gone out. 205 00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,439 Come on, Liam. 206 00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,680 Fuck off! 207 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:41,245 Thanks for bringing him home. 208 00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:44,805 Well, l thought l'd come and see how it's going, you know wi'... 209 00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:45,965 wi' wedding and that. 210 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,764 Sorry l haven't got much to offer you. l could do you a vodka. 211 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,801 So is that where he's buried, then? 212 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,488 What?! 213 00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:55,248 Oh, l'm.. l'm sorry. lt's just... 214 00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:59,442 Well, Frank said... and, well... l mean only to us, and l... 215 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,401 What the hell happened? 216 00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,441 Oohh.. There's... 217 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,242 Let me, er... Let me do those. 218 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,327 There's not really much to tell, actually. 219 00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:11,043 l just...couldn't handle the funeral. 220 00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,842 Was the agoraphobia. 221 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:15,279 And when he fell down stairs and killed himself, 222 00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:19,243 l thought, the garden's just as good a place as any. 223 00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:22,566 And he loved that garden, he loved it. 224 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:27,559 He used to sit out there and point where to plant things. 225 00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:31,319 Fell down the stairs? l... l thought he had a heart attack. 226 00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:35,204 He did. He did. He did, after he fell down the stairs. 227 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,322 l thought maybe l should've done him a headstone, 228 00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:40,645 but it would've spoiled the symmetry. 229 00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,521 l mean there wasn't any time. 230 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:45,960 l didn't even have time to take off his jewellery. 231 00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:48,080 He didn't like me to touch him anyway. 232 00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,327 That's why l can't wear gold. 233 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:54,521 That's why l have to wear fake or platinum. > 234 00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:58,119 Maybe l should have phoned someone but l knew he was dead because 235 00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,047 he didn't get up to watch The Sweeney. 236 00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,365 The Sweeney... 237 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:04,321 What did Frank say? > 238 00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:05,769 What did he say? 239 00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:08,449 How much gold, Sheila? 240 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:19,523 You look nice, Carol. l always think animal prints suit you. 241 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,447 Veronica's put you up to this, hasn't she? 242 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,889 No, of course not. 243 00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:25,524 Hmm. Well, whatever it is you're wanting, l'm not biting. 244 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,367 Hiya, Debbie. > 245 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:33,280 Doing a good trade on the confetti. Waste not, fucking want not. 246 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:40,483 The thing is, it's not actually me wanting something. lt's Sheila. 247 00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:45,558 She's stressed about the wedding and she wants me to be her bridesmaid but... 248 00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:47,089 The answer's no. 249 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,325 Oh, go on, Carol, please. 250 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,281 l'm not nicking you a dress. 251 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:53,605 l got cautioned the last time. > 252 00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:55,880 l can't take that chance again. 253 00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,843 All right, Yvonne? Just a pack of gum for me. 254 00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,845 3.20. 255 00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:06,280 Take What You Want Day for bearded ladies were last week, Carol. 256 00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,729 Thank you. 257 00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,480 Why are you following me? 258 00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:23,567 l've got Racing Ninjas. 259 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:25,487 Look, Brian, the thing is... 260 00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,363 l don't want to be rude or anything. 261 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:30,241 l'm just not really interested. 262 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,282 lt's nothing personal or anything. lt's just... 263 00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:36,845 lt's all about chemicals in your brain and you can't help those - 264 00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:39,404 who you've got them for and who you haven't. 265 00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:42,283 And with you, l just haven't. 266 00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,800 Sorry. No hard feelings, eh? 267 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:49,399 You can have me skateboard if you let me kiss ya. 268 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,007 l don't want a skateboard. 269 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,803 What l want is a bridesmaid dress. 270 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,969 Frank? Frank! 271 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:07,568 What d'ya do that for?! 272 00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:09,919 She's buried him with a load of gold! 273 00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,643 He was covered in it! Rings, watches, teeth. 274 00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:14,521 Must be worth a fortune. 275 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:18,280 What the fuck's that gotta do wi' me? 276 00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,048 We need to dig him up! 277 00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:22,206 Dig? Are you off your f... Dig him up?! 278 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:25,162 lt's not Brookside. He's a dead person! 279 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,849 Well, exactly! He don't need it, does he, eh? 280 00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,802 lt were years ago. He'll only be a bag of bones. 281 00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:35,162 Oh, and what? You don't think he's entitled to everlasting... 282 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,962 you know, fucking whatsit? 283 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,968 A man's soul's has a right to be left in peace, doesn't he, 284 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,602 or what is the world coming to? 285 00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:44,881 You can say a few prayers when you bury him again. 286 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,884 Come on, Frank. 287 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,568 Kev's cousin can fence it. 288 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,282 All we need to do 289 00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:57,563 is get rid of Sheila for the night, dig him up, split it 50/50. 290 00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:59,123 lt's yours by rights. 291 00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:01,843 Yeah, but... ls it? 292 00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:06,566 Yeah, course it is! Cos...well, Sheldon were married to Sheila... 293 00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:07,201 Yeah.. 294 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,127 ..which makes her his next of kin... 295 00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,843 ..you're married to Sheila... 296 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:15,678 Well, near enough, so that makes you her... 297 00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,686 l really need this money, Frank! 298 00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,448 And don't pretend you don't. 299 00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:23,199 Money Sheila's spending on this wedding. lt's payback. 300 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:26,765 That's better. Ooh, you're awake. 301 00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:28,724 Oh... 302 00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,646 That was a bit hardcore. 303 00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,322 What time is it? 304 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,088 'Bout three. 305 00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,569 Shit! 306 00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:19,522 Mandy, l'm here! l'm here now. 307 00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:20,525 Fuck you, Lip! 308 00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:23,642 Look, just let me take her. l said l would. 309 00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:25,806 You said you'd be here at two! 310 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:28,523 Just one afternoon out with me friends, that's all l wanted! 311 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,559 Well, l'm here now. 312 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,807 You're not reliable! l said l didn't want you involved with her. 313 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:36,126 l said you'd get bored and fuck me over, and you have! 314 00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:38,479 We don't need that in our lives, Lip. 315 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,408 You're gonna end up like your own fucking dad! 316 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,688 Mandy... ! 317 00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:58,324 l thought we'd agreed to make a go of it. 318 00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:00,848 Fuck! 319 00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,045 Look, she'll calm down, Lip. 320 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,160 She's just pissed off with you. 321 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,565 She's right, though, isn't she? l fucked up. 322 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:12,159 OK, so tell her you're sorry and tell her you'll make it up to her. 323 00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,041 l don't wanna be like him. 324 00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:16,285 l wanna be a good dad. 325 00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:19,163 Look, do you think... Well... 326 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,963 What if l asked her to move in wi' me? 327 00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:25,286 l'd be there for her all the time and she'd know l mean it. 328 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:26,922 l suppose. 329 00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:32,283 l could redecorate my room, do it how she likes. That's commitment, isn't it? 330 00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:33,524 Yeah. 331 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,484 Where d'you get this from? 332 00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,079 Wrong colour. 333 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:52,282 Party! 334 00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:54,719 Come on, kid. 335 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,203 Get t'music on, Frank. 336 00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,683 < Party! 337 00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,243 ls it a hen night or something? 338 00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:00,689 Maybe we should invite some of the others. 339 00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,402 No, we can do that later. 340 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:06,409 We thought we'd have a celebration. Get the girl a drink, Vee. 341 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:10,841 Whey-ey! Come on! 342 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:16,447 (Stereo) l've got so much love to give 343 00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:20,369 l've got so much love to give 344 00:18:20,410 --> 00:18:24,198 l've got so much love to give... 345 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,478 Come on, Vee! 346 00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:28,761 l'm coming. Here we go, Sheila. Chin chin. 347 00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:30,441 Cheers. 348 00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:31,559 Cheers. 349 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,488 l've got so much love 350 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,758 l've got so much love... 351 00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,284 Where d'you get it from? 352 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,683 l stole it. 353 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,049 Where from? 354 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,480 Me dad works at a printers and they make wedding invitations, 355 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,998 so l know who's getting married. 356 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,848 Don't cry... Please stop crying, honey. 357 00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:55,959 You'll be all right. 358 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,285 We'll sort you out a dress. You'll be fine. 359 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:04,205 So, Brian, how many more weddings d'you know of? 360 00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:06,679 MUSlC: Dancing Queen by ABBA 361 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,402 Ooh, l love this one. 362 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:10,839 l'm having such a lovely time! 363 00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,846 Dance with her, will ya? 364 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,085 Oh! 365 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:16,802 Go on then, Sheila. 366 00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:27,002 (Stereo) You can dance... 367 00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:29,169 Come on. 368 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,689 There you go. Come on. 369 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,563 Another one already? 370 00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:37,808 Down in one... Go on! Go on! 371 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,887 Go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on. 372 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:46,568 Oh, thank fuck for that. 373 00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:48,168 How many did you give her? 374 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,404 Ten. 375 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,719 You don't think she's...? 376 00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:58,362 SNORES 377 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,287 That's the thing about women, see? 378 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:07,163 Devious. Like Alistair fucking Campbell. 379 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:09,201 Tick, tick, tee-tee-tee. 380 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:13,402 Make out that there's nothing going on, but inside... 381 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:17,409 l mean, where's Kev while you're here, eh, witching hour, 382 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,281 legs straddling a fucking corpse? 383 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:22,606 At home in bed, none the flaming wiser. 384 00:20:22,650 --> 00:20:25,722 More to the point, where are you, Frank? 385 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:28,079 You're meant to be fucking helping! 386 00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,643 No, l can't go there. 387 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,282 l'm getting flashbacks to me mam. 388 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:35,209 Anyway, you were a fucking nurse. You're used to dead bod... 389 00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:40,599 Fucking hell, Frank! l think l've found him. 390 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:46,247 Have a look. Can you see the gold? 391 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,486 Bloody hell! 392 00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:01,249 (Veronica) There's a watch, though. 393 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,764 And some rings. 394 00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:17,599 Fuck...me. 395 00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:26,642 Jesus Christ on a bike! 396 00:21:29,850 --> 00:21:33,445 That was some fucking fall down the stairs. 397 00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:41,920 MUSlC: Wedding March by Mendelssohn 398 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,808 Here. Got you a double. 399 00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:50,561 ''Dig him up,'' she said. ''Won't hurt anyone.'' 400 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,682 No, you've not just found out you're marrying Myra fucking Hindley. 401 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,119 Frank, l am just as freaked out about this as you are. 402 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,604 Oh, how's that work?! Are you lying awake at 3am 403 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,767 wondering whether you're gonna make it till breakfast time? 404 00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:03,038 Look. > 405 00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:09,563 This wouldn't normally be my first port of call, but maybe we should 406 00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:12,966 think about going to the police. You could say you were gardening... 407 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,807 Hey! How come suddenly it's all about me?! 408 00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:15,839 You're the one who fucking dug him up. 409 00:22:15,890 --> 00:22:17,403 Frank! 410 00:22:17,450 --> 00:22:19,566 You wanna pull yourself together. 411 00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:22,204 There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation. 412 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,366 For a fondue set in the ribs?! 413 00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,685 What, he thought ''Oh, l'll try a bit of acupuncture 414 00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,083 ''to cure the heart attack... 415 00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:30,724 ''Oh dear, l've stabbed myself to death''? l don't think so. 416 00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:34,763 lf you go to the police, we've lost the gold, so shut up about it. 417 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,005 When did you turn into Lara Croft, Tomb Raider? 418 00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:42,842 Shit! 419 00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:50,170 Ooh, l've got a shocking head! Didn't sleep properly last night. 420 00:22:50,210 --> 00:22:54,567 l was up and down like a yo-yo. Sorry, am l interrupting something? 421 00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:56,840 No, we were just talking about the wedding. 422 00:22:56,890 --> 00:22:59,848 - Frank's really looking forward to it. - Oh, Frank, are you? 423 00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:02,529 Course l am, yeah. 424 00:23:02,570 --> 00:23:03,969 l've got my dress fitting today. 425 00:23:04,010 --> 00:23:05,079 Great. 426 00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:09,169 l've got a diamante bodice, nylon tulle veil, modesty panel. 427 00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:14,000 l know you don't like looking after the twins but l thought maybe for... 428 00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:17,486 Course l do! No, don't be silly! Any time! 429 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,599 - lt'd only be for an hour. - Yeah. 430 00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:21,005 Don't question it, Sheila, he might change his mind! 431 00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,041 Anyway, l've gotta shoot. 432 00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:25,046 Hey, Veronica! 433 00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:26,318 Have you got moles, then? 434 00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:29,209 You what, Lillian? 435 00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:33,368 Moles. Our Leslie saw you digging in't garden. She lives over the back. 436 00:23:33,410 --> 00:23:37,323 No, Lillian, no, it's the diggers... We got the builders in. lt's not us. 437 00:23:37,370 --> 00:23:40,646 lt was definitely you. ln the night. She wanted to go. 438 00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:44,603 No, she must've been dreaming it. Dreamt it. You know what she's like. 439 00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:46,686 Hang on. Sheila, come on darling. 440 00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:49,369 (Lillian) She did tell me it were you. She knows yer house. 441 00:23:49,410 --> 00:23:52,447 Lillian! Hang on, love. Just go on, darling, you enjoy yourself. 442 00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:54,799 She told me it were you, she knows yer house. 443 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,205 Hey, your work on this planet is finished, return to your own people. 444 00:23:57,250 --> 00:24:00,048 She don't tell lies. She saw yer. 445 00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:11,888 Fucking hell. 446 00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:15,923 No. No. No. 447 00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:20,245 Look, Lip, l told you. 448 00:24:20,290 --> 00:24:22,360 (Lip) Just come with us a minute. 449 00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:25,243 Debs, watch Katie. 450 00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,281 What we doing, Lip? 451 00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:29,764 You'll see in a minute. 452 00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:33,041 All right, you ready? 453 00:24:35,050 --> 00:24:36,039 Ta da! 454 00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:41,363 What's this meant to be? 455 00:24:41,410 --> 00:24:43,048 lt's for you. 456 00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:46,400 l thought if you moved in here, l'll be around, won't l? 457 00:24:46,450 --> 00:24:47,439 Won't be able to forget things. 458 00:24:47,490 --> 00:24:50,243 Lip, a couple of coats of paint aren't gonna solve anything. 459 00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:53,362 And what makes you think l'm gonna move in here with you lot? 460 00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:55,560 lt's a fucking mad house. 461 00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:59,364 No offence, but l'd rather eat me own sick. 462 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,207 l don't understand you. 463 00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,241 But l want it to work, Mandy. 464 00:25:04,290 --> 00:25:08,681 Yeah, so do l. But it's us we've gotta sort out. 465 00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,561 The real stuff. 466 00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:12,089 Not some fucking paint job. 467 00:25:18,290 --> 00:25:19,928 l don't want to, Debbie. 468 00:25:19,970 --> 00:25:21,562 Brian! You said you'd help me. 469 00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:23,840 You said l could kiss you. 470 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,450 Just help me get the dress and l'll... 471 00:25:26,490 --> 00:25:28,048 Just one, OK? Here. 472 00:25:29,690 --> 00:25:32,762 On the mouth. On the mouth or l'm not doing it. 473 00:25:33,850 --> 00:25:37,445 Just help me get the dress, all right? 474 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:46,763 Where'd you get it from? 475 00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:50,325 Oh, you know, grave robbing, usual stuff! 476 00:25:50,370 --> 00:25:52,600 l'd put it back if l was you. 477 00:25:52,650 --> 00:25:56,848 - Eh? - lt's fake. The lot of it. Ain't worth a penny. 478 00:26:05,970 --> 00:26:08,120 Come on then, let me see. 479 00:26:08,170 --> 00:26:09,649 All right, then. 480 00:26:09,690 --> 00:26:12,921 But make it quick. And if you gob on me, l'll throw up on you. 481 00:26:16,930 --> 00:26:18,568 Well go on, then! 482 00:26:20,170 --> 00:26:22,206 l think you're horrible. 483 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:24,445 You think you're really it but you're not. 484 00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:27,641 You're just using me, and you shouldn't do that cos it's wrong. 485 00:26:27,690 --> 00:26:30,409 l don't wanna kiss you. l don't wanna see you ever again. 486 00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:43,207 Frank? 487 00:26:44,890 --> 00:26:46,608 Are you all right about tomorrow? 488 00:26:46,650 --> 00:26:48,800 l can't wait to be Mrs Gallagher. 489 00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:54,805 l think l'll just hit the hay, Sheila. 490 00:27:06,690 --> 00:27:09,329 Just locking up for the night, Frank. > 491 00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:21,564 Frank? 492 00:27:23,370 --> 00:27:26,601 Yeah, just in here, love. 493 00:27:27,850 --> 00:27:31,001 Frank, are you all right, love? 494 00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,962 Yeah, just...you know... 495 00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:38,208 ls there something wrong? 496 00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,441 Frank? > 497 00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:43,968 What Lillian said... 498 00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,729 Were you digging? > 499 00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:52,088 Did you dig him up?! 500 00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:55,839 Sorry, love. Can't hear you. 501 00:27:57,530 --> 00:27:59,043 Did you dig him up?! 502 00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:01,759 Did you dig him up? 503 00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,289 Did you dig him up, Frank? 504 00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:25,647 Hey, erm... 505 00:28:25,690 --> 00:28:26,805 < Veronica. 506 00:28:26,850 --> 00:28:29,444 You've heard, haven't you? 507 00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,208 From the hospital. 508 00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:34,128 lt's not good news, is it? 509 00:28:34,170 --> 00:28:37,082 No. 510 00:28:37,130 --> 00:28:40,839 Oh, look, l'm really sorry. 511 00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,164 l just didn't know how to tell you. 512 00:28:42,210 --> 00:28:43,359 You're all right. 513 00:28:43,410 --> 00:28:44,729 < Veronica! 514 00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:46,567 Veronica! 515 00:28:46,610 --> 00:28:48,202 For fuck's sake! 516 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,729 Mind your feet! > 517 00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:52,284 What the fuck are you playing at, Frank?! 518 00:28:53,410 --> 00:28:54,399 Let me in! 519 00:28:54,450 --> 00:28:56,281 You've just broken the fucking window! 520 00:28:56,330 --> 00:29:00,482 Look... l need the money from the gold. 521 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,088 What fucking gold?! 522 00:29:02,130 --> 00:29:03,245 You've done what?! 523 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,121 He were fucking dead anyway! 524 00:29:05,170 --> 00:29:07,365 Correction - murdered. How much? 525 00:29:07,410 --> 00:29:09,719 - Hey, you what?! - Sheila murdered him. So? 526 00:29:09,770 --> 00:29:11,886 - She murdered him? You're joking. - Wish l fucking was, mate. 527 00:29:11,930 --> 00:29:14,524 Well, Frank, it was a big fat zero cos it's all fake, 528 00:29:14,570 --> 00:29:16,322 so fucking tough shit on both of us. 529 00:29:16,370 --> 00:29:17,689 So l dug up that body up for nothing? 530 00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:19,925 You didn't dig him up, l fucking did! 531 00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:22,530 That gold was my get out of jail free card! 532 00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:25,004 How the hell am l gonna get away from her now?! 533 00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:28,679 - Whoa, what you on about? - She knows! Fucking Lillian, 534 00:29:28,730 --> 00:29:31,005 fucking... And now she's gonna kill me. 535 00:29:31,050 --> 00:29:34,565 No, it's not fucking funny! You didn't see her with that spade. 536 00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:37,044 They get a taste for it, don't they? l've seen Crimewatch. 537 00:29:37,090 --> 00:29:41,208 (Veronica) - Oh, for fuck's sake! - What the hell am l gonna do now?! 538 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:43,605 l'm gonna have to stay here while l get me head together. 539 00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:45,368 You are joking. Over my dead body! 540 00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,720 lt's me darkest hour, Veronica! Me dream wedding in tatters. 541 00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:51,921 Me kids are not taking pity on me. Lip's already thrown me out. 542 00:29:51,970 --> 00:29:53,688 Well, tell it to Oprah! Now fuck off! 543 00:29:57,450 --> 00:30:01,125 Veronica, you can't do this to me, l'm a marked man! 544 00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:03,525 You got me into this! Veronica! 545 00:30:03,570 --> 00:30:05,083 Go home, Frank! 546 00:30:09,010 --> 00:30:09,999 Piss! 547 00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,087 l don't believe you! 548 00:30:14,130 --> 00:30:16,325 l know. Don't. 549 00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:18,122 What were you thinking?! 550 00:30:18,170 --> 00:30:24,564 l thought we could use the money to...for lVF. 551 00:30:24,610 --> 00:30:26,965 l know how much you want it, Kev. 552 00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:29,649 Oh, you... 553 00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:31,169 Come here, you daft cow. 554 00:30:34,610 --> 00:30:38,683 Hey, not many blokes could say their wife'd go grave robbing for 'em. 555 00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:40,721 Ooh, it were horrible and all. 556 00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:42,408 And he stank! 557 00:30:42,450 --> 00:30:43,644 Ooh. 558 00:30:43,690 --> 00:30:45,760 Look, Vee, 559 00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:48,643 we're all right. We don't need no-one else. 560 00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:54,364 Hey, but we don't need to be trying for a baby... 561 00:30:55,930 --> 00:30:57,488 ..to have sex, do we? 562 00:30:57,530 --> 00:30:58,929 No! 563 00:30:58,970 --> 00:31:00,449 Let us in, then! 564 00:31:15,210 --> 00:31:16,484 Frank? 565 00:31:26,570 --> 00:31:27,764 Frank? 566 00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:32,327 Are you there, love? 567 00:31:32,930 --> 00:31:36,286 Carl...is your dad there? 568 00:31:36,330 --> 00:31:37,968 No. Why? 569 00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:39,159 l think he's left me. 570 00:31:39,210 --> 00:31:40,689 Hey, give over, Sheila. 571 00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:43,688 He's...he's probably with... 572 00:31:43,730 --> 00:31:47,040 He's probably out with Kev somewhere, isn't he? 573 00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:49,320 Getting ready and that. 574 00:31:49,370 --> 00:31:52,328 lt's bad luck to see you on your wedding day, in't it? 575 00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:55,965 Look, why don't you go home? 576 00:31:56,010 --> 00:31:58,365 Don't worry, we'll find him. 577 00:32:00,610 --> 00:32:01,599 l'll get him. 578 00:32:04,530 --> 00:32:07,488 What the fuck are you doing, Frank? lt's your wedding day. 579 00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:10,408 You can't just disappear. She's in pieces. 580 00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:12,805 Yeah, but what about me? 581 00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:15,000 l'm a hunted man! 582 00:32:15,050 --> 00:32:18,042 She's got a fucking spade, Veronica! 583 00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:21,924 lf you're not gonna marry her, Frank, you have gotta tell her. 584 00:32:21,970 --> 00:32:24,609 Sort him out, will you? l'm going to Sheila's. 585 00:32:26,610 --> 00:32:28,202 Come on, knobhead. 586 00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:31,879 All right, so you dig up this bloke and she's killed him, right? 587 00:32:31,930 --> 00:32:35,206 Yeah, and who's to say he's not the only one? 588 00:32:35,250 --> 00:32:39,129 Remember...Eddie The Owl? 589 00:32:39,170 --> 00:32:41,161 Fucking missionary work? 590 00:32:41,210 --> 00:32:43,724 ln Africa? Or six feet under? 591 00:32:43,770 --> 00:32:45,886 What's the more likely, eh? 592 00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:48,285 Look, the only reason you know about Sheldon 593 00:32:48,330 --> 00:32:50,798 is cos she told you. What's she gonna tell you for 594 00:32:50,850 --> 00:32:52,920 if she's planning on giving you the same? 595 00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,881 Well, it's a double bluff, in't it? 596 00:32:54,930 --> 00:32:56,488 Plus, she had no choice. 597 00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:59,920 No, that's bollocks, Frank. The reason she told you 598 00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:01,528 is because she trusts you. 599 00:33:01,570 --> 00:33:04,209 That woman, she wouldn't lay a finger on you. 600 00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:08,448 Fuck knows why, but she thinks the sun shines out of your arse. 601 00:33:08,490 --> 00:33:11,288 But she's still a fucking murderer, Kev. 602 00:33:11,330 --> 00:33:12,558 l'm not marrying her. 603 00:33:17,010 --> 00:33:18,807 lt's beautiful, in't it? 604 00:33:18,850 --> 00:33:20,568 l thought l might as well put it on, 605 00:33:20,610 --> 00:33:22,919 though l don't s'pose l'll be needing it now. 606 00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:23,959 Hey now, come on. Enough of that. 607 00:33:24,010 --> 00:33:27,605 He knows, doesn't he? He knows about Sheldon. 608 00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:28,878 l'm sorry, Sheila... 609 00:33:28,930 --> 00:33:30,921 He used to hit me. 610 00:33:30,970 --> 00:33:33,723 lf everything wasn't just so, he used to... 611 00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:37,319 lt was like he was looking for things to find fault with. 612 00:33:37,370 --> 00:33:42,000 Like, if his records weren't stacked neatly or if l had a button undone. 613 00:33:42,050 --> 00:33:44,644 Sheldon fucking beat you? 614 00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:47,158 l was young. You think you deserve it, don't you? 615 00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:51,886 You don't know any better. lt was the gold that was the worst. 616 00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:53,522 He used to burn me with it, 617 00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,403 pattern marks all up and down me arms and legs. 618 00:34:04,930 --> 00:34:08,400 And if l cried, he'd punch me in the face. 619 00:34:08,450 --> 00:34:12,807 Battered me once, put me in hospital for a month. 620 00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:14,329 Why didn't anybody stop him? 621 00:34:14,370 --> 00:34:16,042 Why didn't you go to the police? 622 00:34:16,090 --> 00:34:19,127 l did, but they used to pretend they couldn't see the marks. 623 00:34:19,170 --> 00:34:21,161 They just used to say, ''There, there,'' 624 00:34:21,210 --> 00:34:23,405 give me a boiled sweet and send me home. 625 00:34:23,450 --> 00:34:26,169 They used to call it a domestic in those days. 626 00:34:26,210 --> 00:34:28,519 They didn't wanna get involved. 627 00:34:28,570 --> 00:34:30,765 lt was always gobstoppers. 628 00:34:30,810 --> 00:34:33,404 Can't stand the sight of them now. 629 00:34:35,970 --> 00:34:41,124 And then one night, he was coming at me with the medallion. 630 00:34:42,170 --> 00:34:44,001 l just went... 631 00:34:51,210 --> 00:34:53,565 l didn't plan any of it. 632 00:34:53,610 --> 00:34:55,362 Oh, Sheila. What a bastard! 633 00:34:55,410 --> 00:34:58,880 l can't believe you've never told us before! 634 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,205 He deserved everything he got then. 635 00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:03,320 You mustn't waste another breath on him. 636 00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:05,088 But Frank's gone, Veronica. 637 00:35:05,130 --> 00:35:06,802 Because of me. Because of what l've done. 638 00:35:06,850 --> 00:35:08,283 Hey now, come on, that's... 639 00:35:08,330 --> 00:35:11,879 Do you think maybe if l confessed, do you think 640 00:35:11,930 --> 00:35:13,488 maybe Frank could forgive me? 641 00:35:13,530 --> 00:35:15,248 l know he doesn't love me any more, 642 00:35:15,290 --> 00:35:17,406 but if he could forgive me, that would be something, wouldn't it? 643 00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:20,010 You are not getting yourself 644 00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:22,769 banged up for the likes of Sheldon. He was a monster. 645 00:35:22,810 --> 00:35:23,845 But for Frank. > 646 00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:28,566 He's the best thing that's ever happened to me! 647 00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:31,078 l'm gonna turn myself in. 648 00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,600 Oi! Having a nice time, are yer? 649 00:35:41,650 --> 00:35:43,606 While your fiancee's gone to turn herself in? 650 00:35:45,890 --> 00:35:47,767 lf you can't do the time... 651 00:35:47,810 --> 00:35:52,486 For the murder of a bloke who beat her to a fucking pulp! 652 00:35:52,530 --> 00:35:55,124 Oi! Where the fuck you going?! 653 00:35:55,170 --> 00:35:57,161 Empty house. Gonna keep meself company. 654 00:35:58,730 --> 00:36:01,369 For fuck's sake, Frank, he used to burn her fucking arms 655 00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:04,010 with a medallion! How much more convincing do you need?! 656 00:36:04,050 --> 00:36:06,883 l am not fucking joking, Frank! 657 00:36:06,930 --> 00:36:10,400 You can't let her go through with this! She'll go to prison! 658 00:36:10,450 --> 00:36:13,283 She's only confessing cos she thinks it's what you want! 659 00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:17,682 Fucking hell. 660 00:36:17,730 --> 00:36:18,719 What? 661 00:36:18,770 --> 00:36:21,079 Mr and Mrs Gallagher. 662 00:36:21,130 --> 00:36:24,725 She's opened a fucking joint account for you. 663 00:36:42,850 --> 00:36:46,320 What's he doing?! Get off! What you doing?! 664 00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:56,047 For fuck's sake! 665 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,440 Sergeant. 666 00:37:31,490 --> 00:37:33,208 Thank you. 667 00:37:36,850 --> 00:37:39,080 Blimey, look at you, Sheila! 668 00:37:39,130 --> 00:37:41,769 Ah, the twins have grown, eh? 669 00:37:41,810 --> 00:37:43,528 < Yeah, they have. 670 00:37:43,570 --> 00:37:46,289 So, what can we do for you? 671 00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:47,968 You come to report a crime? What is it? 672 00:37:48,010 --> 00:37:50,444 Frank wants to wear his Hawaiian shirt for the wedding?! 673 00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:52,526 No. 674 00:37:53,570 --> 00:37:54,844 < l've come to confess... 675 00:37:56,090 --> 00:37:58,320 ..to a murder. 676 00:38:02,170 --> 00:38:03,398 l'm sorry. 677 00:38:07,450 --> 00:38:10,840 Sheila, you don't have to marry Frank if you 678 00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:12,881 don't want to. You don't have to go making up stories. 679 00:38:12,930 --> 00:38:14,807 No, l do! l really do. 680 00:38:14,850 --> 00:38:17,683 lt's just cos of the conservatory, you see? 681 00:38:20,410 --> 00:38:21,968 All right. 682 00:38:22,010 --> 00:38:23,728 Maybe we should, erm... 683 00:38:23,770 --> 00:38:24,839 We'll get you a cup of tea. 684 00:38:24,890 --> 00:38:27,358 Yeah, that'd be lovely. 685 00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:29,924 With Demerara, if you've got it. 686 00:38:31,370 --> 00:38:33,088 - Gob-stopper? - No. 687 00:38:33,130 --> 00:38:36,247 Whoa, Neddy! Hold the fucking horses. 688 00:38:36,370 --> 00:38:39,089 Whatever she's saying it's not true, right?! 689 00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:41,849 lt's just pre-wedding jitters, isn't it? 690 00:38:46,930 --> 00:38:51,481 Can l just have a couple of minutes with her on me own? 691 00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:59,446 Sheila! What you doing, you daft mare?! 692 00:38:59,490 --> 00:39:03,244 l know you know about him, what l've done, 693 00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:05,724 so l thought l'd come and get it off me chest. 694 00:39:05,770 --> 00:39:07,806 What you talking about? 695 00:39:07,850 --> 00:39:11,320 He was a brute, wasn't he? Veronica told me. 696 00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:13,964 He deserved everything he got. 697 00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:16,365 lf l'd have got to him first, l'd have done it! 698 00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:19,208 lf anyone lays a fucking finger on you... 699 00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:21,889 Frank, you'd gone because of what l'd done. 700 00:39:21,930 --> 00:39:23,249 No! 701 00:39:23,290 --> 00:39:26,726 Well, yeah, but it was just... 702 00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:30,008 You know, just a... 703 00:39:30,050 --> 00:39:35,841 moment of cold feet! Just a normal kind of blokes' thing. 704 00:39:35,890 --> 00:39:39,166 l got a bit... Anyway, the point is, l'm here now! 705 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:43,169 Why don't we just go home, eh? 706 00:39:43,890 --> 00:39:48,168 To tell you the truth, you finding out's quite a weight off. 707 00:39:49,730 --> 00:39:53,086 l've been giving it a lot of thought, and l've thought 708 00:39:53,130 --> 00:39:56,247 maybe all this trouble l've had over the last few years, 709 00:39:56,290 --> 00:40:00,681 you know, the pills and everything, maybe it's cos of the guilt. 710 00:40:02,410 --> 00:40:04,878 l think l need to be punished. 711 00:40:06,810 --> 00:40:09,563 Sheila, you have 712 00:40:09,610 --> 00:40:11,965 served your time. 713 00:40:14,970 --> 00:40:16,961 ln here. 714 00:40:18,970 --> 00:40:22,519 So what good's it gonna do? lt's not gonna bring him back, is it? 715 00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:27,246 - But Frank... - l'll tell you something, if you go to prison... 716 00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:30,123 lf you go to prison, 717 00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:32,206 you will kill another man, 718 00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:34,400 because... 719 00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:39,523 l will die of a broken heart. 720 00:40:42,530 --> 00:40:45,203 Frank, do you really mean that? 721 00:40:46,810 --> 00:40:49,005 Do l? 722 00:40:59,810 --> 00:41:01,766 A man 723 00:41:01,810 --> 00:41:04,324 without a woman... 724 00:41:09,610 --> 00:41:11,168 Sheila Jackson... 725 00:41:15,130 --> 00:41:19,806 ..will you do me the great thingy 726 00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:23,559 of being my wife? 727 00:41:23,610 --> 00:41:25,566 Oh, yes! 728 00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:28,765 Yes, course l will! 729 00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:30,801 Of course l will! 730 00:41:34,130 --> 00:41:36,519 Let's get the fuck out of this place, then. 731 00:41:45,410 --> 00:41:47,719 Well, you don't scrub up bad. 732 00:41:47,770 --> 00:41:50,238 l didn't think you were coming. 733 00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:52,201 Wouldn't miss this, would l? 734 00:41:52,250 --> 00:41:56,038 l got me mum to mind Katie. So, it's just me and you today. 735 00:41:56,090 --> 00:41:58,604 lf we can remember how to do that. 736 00:41:58,650 --> 00:42:01,881 Course we can. Come on. 737 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:03,725 You got a buttonhole, Marty? 738 00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:05,123 Nick a cock in it! 739 00:42:05,170 --> 00:42:06,842 Hiya, Karen. 740 00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:08,323 Hiya, Sue. 741 00:42:08,370 --> 00:42:09,849 Here you are, love. 742 00:42:11,450 --> 00:42:15,648 ln a civil service, we don't make vows of a religious nature. 743 00:42:15,690 --> 00:42:17,760 Thank fuck. 744 00:42:17,810 --> 00:42:19,528 But we pledge our love, honour and respect 745 00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:23,279 in a way that's just as deeply binding. 746 00:42:23,330 --> 00:42:27,084 Come on, get to the good bit! ''Do you, Vernon Francis Gallagher...'' 747 00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,927 Join in if you know the words. 748 00:42:28,970 --> 00:42:30,403 Do you... 749 00:42:30,450 --> 00:42:35,001 (All) ..Vernon Francis Gallagher, take Sheila Jackson to be 750 00:42:35,050 --> 00:42:38,326 your lawfully wedded wife? 751 00:42:38,650 --> 00:42:40,606 l do! 752 00:42:40,650 --> 00:42:44,086 And do you, Sheila Jackson... 753 00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:49,250 (All) ..take Vernon Francis Gallagher to be your lawfully wedded husband? 754 00:42:49,290 --> 00:42:51,850 Yes! Yeah! l'm guilty! 755 00:42:51,890 --> 00:42:54,165 Hurray! Here's the ring! 756 00:42:56,650 --> 00:43:00,438 l now pronounce you husband and wife. 757 00:43:00,490 --> 00:43:02,560 Wahey! 758 00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:06,329 < Way to go, Frank! 759 00:43:06,370 --> 00:43:10,363 Congratulations and celebrations 760 00:43:10,410 --> 00:43:16,087 When l tell everyone that you're in love with me 761 00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:20,999 Congratulations and jubilations... 762 00:43:21,050 --> 00:43:23,086 Hey. l'm glad you came through. 763 00:43:23,130 --> 00:43:25,439 Well, l could hardly let her down, could l? 764 00:43:25,490 --> 00:43:28,448 Anyway, l got to thinking, l never got the divorce through 765 00:43:28,490 --> 00:43:31,960 from Monica in the end, so it's not legal, anyway. 766 00:43:44,650 --> 00:43:46,641 < Mr and Mrs Gallagher. 767 00:43:49,090 --> 00:43:52,480 (Frank) 'So, l've got a new joke. What does ''bigamy'' mean? 768 00:43:52,530 --> 00:43:54,202 'One wife too many. 769 00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:57,048 'And ''monogamy''? Same fucking thing. 770 00:43:57,090 --> 00:43:59,365 'But if you've gotta have a ball and chain, 771 00:43:59,410 --> 00:44:01,401 'Sheila's the woman for the job. 772 00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:05,363 'lf we ever fall on hard times, we can send her out as a contract killer. 773 00:44:05,410 --> 00:44:08,402 'So, like the chief Roman said, ''Veni, vidi, vol-au-vent.'' 774 00:44:08,450 --> 00:44:10,168 'Let's have a fucking party!' 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 58330

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