All language subtitles for Happy.Ever.After.1954

my heart is Irish

and the song it sings is Irish

j“ when I wear the dear old shamrock j"

j“ on each St. Patrick's day j"

j“ my heart is Irish j“

j“ and it's proud I am about it j"

j“ I'd be lost for sure without it j"

j“ as I gaily go my way j"

j“ since I love the wishing Wells j”

j“ and the happy fairy dells j"

j“ and the colleens I adore j“

j“ mourne's mountains rising high j"

j“ kissing Ireland's peaceful sky j“

j“ and the moon of bantry bay j"

j“ my heart is Irish j“

j“ and the song it sings is Irish j"

j“ and I'll tell the world I'm Irish j"

j“ until my dying day j“

(light music)

- Ladies and gentlemen, the
drinks is on the general.

May god bless him.

(Crowd cheering)

Goon - yes, Mr. Dooley.

- Look out.

Devil take you for a footless idiot.

- Sorry, Mr. Dooley.

I was tripped.

- I never saw worse in all me life.

Get in there now and be giving out there.

(Horse braying)

You know, that fella'd make a monkey

bite its own mother.

- Ah leave him be, Tim.

Sure the general's buying the drinks.

- Maybe, but that Sherry's for the gentry.

Put that down.

- I will indeed.

- Every year for the past 60 years

I've watched the general leap the wall.

He always opens the hunt that way

and his old da before him.

- What's the wall like?

- Well it's...

Seven foot high.

- Seven foot high?

- With a 16 foot water
jump on the other side.

- 16 foot?

- Well, 10 foot. (Chuckling)

Don't be mathematic.

- Has he ever fallen off?

- Only once, only once.

When he was 61.

61?

It's a bit old for that
kind of a jump, isn't it?

A bit old is it?

- Aye.

(Laughing)

He's 82 now!

- 82, that's mad.

Slantie.

- Three to one the general
comes down, gentlemen.

Three to one he falls,
that's a fair offer.

- All right I'll take six pounds to two.

Six pounds to two it is, lady.

- It's a terrible thing for a betting man

when sentiment goes against form.

- Well, what's come to you's all?

Is non of yous backing the general?

- Ah the poor old lad, he's
gone back a lot during the year,

there's no denyin.

- Well three to one, them's fair odds.

- Regan!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself

laying those odds against the general.

I'll take six pounds to two.

- All right, six pounds to two.

And the same for your brother, miss Kathy,

right major?

- No, well I mean no.

I'm not having a bet this year.

- Oh, are you worried
about the old gentleman?

- No I am not.

I'm worried about his old horse.

- Monty, I think you
are downright unsporting

not to bet on the old boy.

- Downright dotty to Chuck me money away.

Something ought to be done to stop him.

- Hello, Michael.

- Hello Kathy, hello monty.

- Just saying I'm worried
about the general.

Dashed worried, he oughtn't
to do it, not at his age.

- Well, you're his cousin.

Why not have a word with him?

- I tried that last year,

he threatened to horse whip me.

You're his doctor, forbid him.

- Forbidding's no good.

It only makes him worse.

Ah, he can't last so very long anyway.

Why not let him have a
go if it makes him happy?

- You're scared of him, that's all.

- Who isn't?

(Laughing) That's a smart
coat you're wearing, monty.

Is it a new one?

- First time out.

- Yours is very nice too, Kathy.

- Glad you like it, now.

I've had it for three years.

- One of these days I'll say
the right thing to Kathy.

- About time you did.

What?

- Old man's late.

- Hurry up you fool!

We're going to a hunt, not a funeral!

- I can't see the road, general.

(Splashing)

I can't see the road, general.

- Well it's raining.

- No, no, I'm telling
you I can't see the road.

- I heard you, what do
you want to see it for?

You ought to know it blindfold
after all these years.

- It's a new windscreen we want.

- Nonsense, it'll last us both out.

(Thudding)

- [Thady] Well, here we are, there.

- Why did we stop?

- Because we're there, sir.

- Oh, are we?

- [Man] Good morning, general.

- Good morning, good morning!

Good morning I say to,

Where's thady?

Thady!

- [Thady] Yes, yes, general?

- The Brandy!

The Brandy, quick, hurry up.

- I didn't catch you, what?

- The Brandy!

- Oh, yes of course the
Brandy, yes of course.

Yes yes.

- Come along, hurry up.

- Ah sure I know well what
you're thinking, mister.

But wait till you see him on his horse.

- Congrats, congrats.
- I know.

This is ulysses, this is.

(Crowd chattering)

- Take your time now.

Oh you got, ah.

- Oh ah, let's do it.

Good luck to you now, general.

- Don't you soft soap
me, you old blackguard,

what's this I hear about you
offering odds against me?

- Sure it goes to me heart
to do it, your honour.

- It'd go to the seat of your breeches

if I could get at you.

What's the figure?

- Only three to one, your honour.

- Three to one?

You offered evens the
year I had pneumonia!

- That was years ago.

- What's that?

- That was years ago!

- I heard you!

I'll take 60 to 20.

- Oh right you are.

And if you'll not be forgetting

the other 15 pounds you owe me already.

- In 15 minutes you'll be owing me!

(Laughing)

Come on Cleopatra, we'll show them.

Did you hear that monty?

Blasted impertinence.

- General, you're not a young man.

I mean with that right leg of yours,

well, I mean, why not
skip the jump this year?

- What, if I could use my right leg

I know where my foot would be.

Anyone else got anything to say?

- Yes, I have.

Good luck, darling.

My money's on you as always.

- Thank you my dear.

- Regan, make my bet 15 to five!

- Thank you again, my dear.

- General as a matter of duty...

- Save your breath, I'm
going over that wall!

This infernal quack, always fussing.

Told me I was going blind five years ago!

- And so you were!

- Only in one eye!

Hounds, gentlemen, please!

(Horn tooting)

(Light music)

- Don't do it, general.

- I think it's unwise.

- Nonsense, doc.

I'll show you.

- Fourto one.

What?

Confounded impertinence.

I'll take it.

Another five pounds!

Come on, Cleopatra!

- Good luck now.

(Horn tooting)

- Tally-ho!

(Tense music)

(Horse braying)

(Splashing)

- Where am I?
- Are you all right, sir?

- Ah, Regan, Regan, you see I got over.

- Yeah but you left the horse behind.

Did I?

Where is she?

Where is Cleopatra?

Bring me Cleopatra, will you?

- I know, doc.
- No, no.

- Get the car.
- You little fusser.

(Gentle music)

- (Whimpering) Will I take
the boots off him now, sir?

- Leave my boots alone, you old rascal.

I'm going with them on!

Stop that snivelling.

Give him a Brandy, doctor,

or he'll get there before me.

Come here all of you.

I've got some bequests to
make which aren't in my will.

- We'll see they're carried out, general.

- Good.

Now first of all, no weeping and wailing.

Hunt ball to go on as arranged.

- Good health to you sir.

- Same to you.

- Thank you sir.

- Don't mention it.

Second I hereby cancel
all debts owing to me.

I leave one thousand pounds

to this blackguard, thady.

(Sobbing)

Now what's the matter?

Isn't it enough?

- I don't deserve it, general.

- I know you don't.

But I can't take it with me.

And keep that blubbering for the funeral!

- Oh, the funeral!

- There's a funeral!

And now, now get out.

(Babbling)

Get out!

Is he gone?

- He has.

- Demented old senile.

Ought to be put down.

Where was I?

- You've left a thousand pounds to thady.

- Oh yeah.

I leave another thousand
pounds to you, monty

providing you look after
my old horse Cleopatra

till she kicks the bucket.

And my dog tiny.

- Of course I will.

- And a thousand to you, doctor.

Kept me alive longer than I deserved.

Give me my wallet.

The rest goes to my great
nephew, Jasper O'Leary.

Never met the lad.

Father was an awful ass,
used to chase butterflies.

Still he has O'Leary blood in his veins.

Take that, father.

Don't open it until O'Leary night

and then do what it says.

- Very well, general.

O'Leary night it shall be.

- Good.

I rely on you.

Give me the bottle.

Ah, not the medicine, you ass, the Brandy.

Brandy.

Good.

That's better.

Always fancied a tot before the hunt.

(Praying in foreign language)

- Hope you'll be comfy, old girl.

It's tolerably warm in winter
and the roof don't leak.

Had it repaired this
year as a matter of fact.

Here, have a carrot.

- Monty!

- Monty, guess what.
- What?

- Our beloved sister's coming home.

- Serena, no, why?

- Her husband's dead.

- Well, everybody's dying nowadays.

- You know what this means, don't you?

- Must have been ill, I suppose.

- She'll come straight back and go chasing

after Michael Flynn again.

- Nonsense, after the way she treated him

the doc won't even speak to her.

- You don't know men.

- I'm one, aren't I?

Anyone can see through Serena.

She can't even ride a horse.

- People don't fall in love simply because

someone rides a horse.

I do.

Never looked at a woman who
hadn't got a first class seat.

Oh.

I tell you this, monty,

if Serena looks at him again, I'll...

- Oh, steady, steady, steady.

Of course mind you, it
beats me why the doc

hasn't asked you to marry him.

- I don't matter.

But I'm not having her
wrecking Michael's life again.

I'll stop her, you'll see.

I'll stop her!

(Train chugging and tooting)

- Well Michael Flynn.

Michael?

Michael Flynn?

- Serena?

- Michael.

- I can't believe it.

What are you doing here?

- I've come home, Michael.

- Is your husband with you?

- Gerald's dead.

It was no good from the start.

You see, we'd been
separated for over a year.

Thank you for not saying "I told you so."

- Is monty and Kathy expecting you?

- I sent them a wire.

I dread meeting them.

- [Michael] Why?

- They never forgave me for
the way I behaved to you.

- What's it got to do with them?

- I know things can never
be the same between us

but just to have you as a friend.

- Serena, nothing's changed.

- Excuse me, oh.

The trap's loaded and ready, miss Serena.

- Thank you.

- Serena.

- Yes?

- Serena, when can I see you?

- Oh, any time this afternoon.

- Yes, oh no.

No, we have a big reception
here for the new squire.

He's arriving by train this afternoon.

Monty's making a speech.

- Oh that should be fun.

Well then I'll see you here later.

- All right then.

- Oh Michael, you're
not married or anything?

- No.

- Well, there's still time.

(Parade music)

- Now we must give him a welcome to match

the sendoff we gave the general.

- Ah, twas a lovely funeral,
we waked him splendid.

- God rest his soul.

Did you know that with his dying words

he let me off the 500 pounds

he lent me in my trouble?

- And everyone else that owed him.

- That's all right, but he owed
me for all the bets he made.

Do you think will the new squire pay up?

- Of course he will,
and with interest too.

- Hello, Mr. Dooley.

- Holy saints!

Will you look at this
fellow with ne'er a tie on?

Have you no decency man?

- Me braces is broke, Mr. Dooley.

Me tie's around me middle.

- Put that tie on and hold your
britches up with your hands.

Go on now.

- Michael said he'd meet me here.

- Look here, Serena, I've warned you.

- He's a big boy now.

Can I help it if he's
still interested in me?

- He's not going to be.

Not while I'm here to stop him.

- You've had a clear run for three years.

You don't seem to have got very far.

- Why you!

Monty, did you hear?

- Now look here you
two, can't you stop it?

Look out, I think the train's coming.

(Crowd cheering)

Mr. Jasper O'Leary, I'm major mcglusky.

Welcome to rathbarney.

I'm just going to say a few words.

Quiet please, now.

Quiet everybody please.

Quite quiet, thank you.

I propose to say a few words of welcome.

This dreadful thing that
has just descended upon us.

What, oh, wrong page, sorry.

As you were.

No good at this speechmaking business.

Today we are gathered
to give a warm welcome

to a man whom I know we
shall all quickly learn

to like and respect

despite this dreadful thing
that has just descended upon us.

It's the bit I read first, my mistake.

Welcome to rathbarney, Jasper O'Leary.

Welcome to rathbarney and our hearts.

Hip hip hooray.

(Crowd applauding)

- My good friends, major...

- Mcgluskey.

- Major mcgluskey's
moving and fluent words

leave me tongue-tied.

Unlike him, I am no hand at
extemporary speech-making.

All I can say is thank you.

And I'm sure that any small
changes that I may be obliged

to make from time to time

will leave us all good friends.

(Crowd applauding)

- Good show, left and right.

Won them completely.

Oh, I see, look here, like
you to meet my sisters.

Kathy mcglusky, Serena Stewart.

- Sisters?

- That one's married.

That's why the name's different.

That's doctor Flynn.

- [Michael] Welcome to rathbarney.

- Your car's waiting.

Shall we?

(Crowd applauding)

- Can I take my tie off now, Mr. Dooley?

My arms are that stiff.

- Here we are.

- This thing mine?

- Yes, grand old bus.

- Put a few flowers on top
and it will be perfect.

Who pushes it home?

- Thady.

- Welcome, Mr. Jasper, your honour sir.

Yes.

- Everything's in the back sir.

- Oh thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Tell me if there's
anything I can do for you,

my dear fellow.

- Perhaps you could shut this door.

- Yes, with pleasure.

- Thank you very much.

Well let's try it, paddy.

Hope to see you soon.

- Goodbye.

- [Crowd] Bye, goodbye!

- Engaging sort of fella.

Chip off the old block.

Don't you think so?

- I should think he's an utter cad.

- Serena, really, you are an impossible.

I will not have-...

- What's wrong, monty?

That means Serena likes him.

- That Mrs. Stewart, do you know her?

- Indeed I do, sir.

- And Mr. Stewart?

- Under the sod, sir.

- That's too bad.

Can you see anything through this thing?

-Ah, not at all.

- Well how on earth do you—-

- ah now don't be worryin' sir,

sure I know every bump
in this road by heart.

- That I take it was one of them.

- No, no, that's a new one.

Somebody's been tamperin'.

We'll be there in a minute.

Just a perch or two more.

(Zooming)

- Welcome, your honour, welcome home.

- That my gamekeeper?

- You've no keeper, sir.

- But who's that character carrying a gun

and festooned with rabbits?

- Ah, that's lannigan, your poacher, sir.

- My poacher?

- Yes sir, your registered poacher.

There was no way of stopping them

so the gentry decided to give each man

his own beat like.

O'Connor poaches the major's land

and lannigan poaches yours and so forth.

Ah yes, it works out
very nicely, nice indeed.

- It does, does it?

- Yes, oh, you're the lucky one.

Lannigan's a much better
poacher than o'Connor.

As like as not you'll
find he's after ieavin'

a nice brace of pheasants
for you up at the hall.

- That's very kind of him.

(Light music)

What's that?

- That's the staff, sir.

- The what?

- The staff.

It's not much to look at but
she keeps the place going.

- Looks to me as though it's gone.

- Nice place, isn't it, sir?

- Very cosy.

- Inclined to take your
breath away, isn't it?

- It certainly is.

Does it always do this?

- Ah, that's the devil's
own fireplace, sir.

First the rain came down and put it out

and then the general blocked the flue

and now begad she won't go up at all.

- Who's that, Dracula?

- That's a relation of yours, sir.

- An ancestor you mean, I hope.

- Aye.

General Mike O'Leary,
the greatest of yore.

He cut the heads off 50 foreigners

with a stroke of his bloody blade.

- What foreigners?

- The English.

- Oh of course.

- His ghost still walks
the house on O'Leary night.

A terrible sight it is.

Them that's seen him drop dead

or go mad afterwards.

- Superstitious lot you Irish,

you ought to lay off the booze.

- Is it me?

Sure I'm next door to a tea—totaller.

- Yes.

Tell me, is there by any
chance a bottle of scotch

in this mausoleum?

- Well, there might be sir,

but the general never
touched the hard stuff.

He was a Brandy man.

I'll see, there might
be a bottle somewhere.

If you'll just take a seat
in the cosy room there

I'll go and see.

Ah, what a waste.

- A short history of the o'learys.

That ought to do it.

- Well we're in luck, sir.

There's just one bottle left

but I'll order some more
from dooley at the pub.

- Thank you.

- I'm not expecting any company.

- No sir, no, no.

Holy smoke.

You want to be careful, sir.

That chimney isn't used to flames.

You wouldn't want to burn the
place down now, would you?

- I wonder if it would burn.

- Ooh!

J“ my heart is Irish j“

j“ and it's proud I am about it j"

j“ I'd be lost for sure without it j"

j“ as I gaily go my way j"

j“ sure I love the wishing Wells j“

j“ and the happy fairy dells j"

j“ and the colleens I adore j“

j“ mourne's mountains rising high j"

j“ kissing Ireland's peaceful sky j“

j“ and the moon on bantry's shore j"

j“ my heart is Irish j“

j“ and the song it sings is Irish j"

j“ and I tell the world I'm Irish j“

j“ until my dying day j“

(crowd applauding)

- I've heard that song a million times

and it always makes me weep.

- And you're no angel.

- What's that?
- Boys!

Boys, the squire is
coming, empty your glasses.

Yes, this way sir.

- Thank you.

- No, gentlemen no gambling.

- Well squire, are we having a wet?

- I never refuse a drink
on the house, landlord,

I'll have a large whiskey.

Thank you.

- It's dry old weather, sir.

- Let's hope it lasts.

Do you have a private room

where we can have a little chat?

- Oh yes sir.

This way sir.

- Excuse me.

- May the devil take that fella.

- Ah no doubt he'll rectify
the matter when he comes back.

Sure, sure, yes.

- You want to have a little bet?

- You're on.

(Mumbling)

- I note that large quantities
of rather inferior champagne

were delivered to the hall this morning.

- That's for the hunt ball tomorrow, sir.

But you needn't worry for the general

paid for it all in advance.

- My dear dooley, if the
general hadn't paid for it

in advance, I would
never tolerate the idea

of a hunt ball at a
melancholy time like this.

- Well you see sir, it was
the general's last dying wish

that it should go on.

- Yes, so I believe.

I understand that you owed the
general five hundred pounds.

- That's right sir.

But he was a good man,
in another dying wish

he cancelled it all.

May god bless him.

Oh?

Well I found your iou

but I found no trace of a cancellation.

- Well, you see sir, it was verbal,

like viva voce, spoken before witnesses.

- Ah, verbal.

Oh my dear dooley.

Look, you borrowed 500
pounds from the general

and you promised to
pay it back in writing.

So I'm going to hold you to it

for your own good, of course.

- But sir, where would the
likes of me get 500 pounds?

- Oh that's a question I've
often had to ask myself

and find the answer.

Oh by the way it's 525 pounds

at the very moderate rate
of interest of five percent.

- But sir, I haven't got any capital.

- It's bad luck dooley, it's bad luck.

But I'm afraid it's a case
of pay up or close down.

Anyway, I'll give you two days to decide.

Thank you.

- Bloodsucker.

- Will ye not take another, sir?

- Well, why not?

A large whiskey please.

Oh I remember you.

Lannigan, isn't it?

- That's right, sir.

- Yes.

Happy days.

- The old general never
liked to drink alone, sir.

- Really?

Doesn't bother me at all.

Thank you very much.

Good day.

Excuse me.

- Doesn't bother me at all.

Thanks very much, excuse me.

Good day.

- A nice spoken gentleman,
the squire, isn't he?

(Slapping)

- That'll be three shillings.

- Sir, sir.

Good day sir.

And here was I nearly missing your honour

on his first visit to the pub.

- Oh yes, Healy, isn't it?

- Ah yes sir.

The general's bailiff for 40 years.

- Aren't you the tenant of
that little cottage of mine?

- Yes, sir.

The loveliest little cottage.

- Cheapest too, I think.

Let's see, ah yes.

Three shillings and
sixpence a week, is that it?

- A sweet little nest

and for a next to nothing.

- Oh, for nothing, you mean.

The general doesn't even
bother to collect the rent.

- Ah, no, he did not, god bless him.

He said it was too small to trouble it out

and so it was. (Chuckling)

- I'm afraid you're gonna
have to pay the rent

from now on, Healy.

It's death duties and taxes.

You know how it is.

- Yes sir.

Of course.

- I knew you'd understand.

Now, about the arrears of rent.

I'm not a mathematician but I would say

that three shillings and
sixpence a week for 10 years

is exactly 91 pounds.

Of course, owing to your
long service to the family

I wouldn't dream of charging you interest.

I don't want to rush you, but shall we say

one week from today to settle?

It would just break my
heart to have to evict you

and let the place furnished.

- Four, please.

- Murphy here was telling me

you don't believe in the
cancellation of debts?

- That is correct.

- I quite agree with you.

A man's got to look after himself.

- I'm glad that somebody has some sense.

- So when can I expect 160
pounds the general was owing me?

- What for?

- Betting losses.

I make the book here.

- You have any proof
of these transactions?

- Oh the general's word
was good enough for me.

- I'm sorry Regan, you'll
have to write that off.

Bad luck, fortunes of war.

- If you want war, you can have it.

I'll sue you, I'll...

- You do, I'll plead the gaming act,

if there is such a thing
in this ghastly country.

- You'll get no more petrol from me.

- Your loss again.

- If you think you can treat us...

- Oh go to blazes.

(Booming)

(Horse braying)

- [Milligan] I'm sorry sir,
I didn't hear you coming.

- Oh that's all right.

Just be more careful in the future.

Oh yes, I want to see you.

- Yes sir?

- You're not doing your job.

My land is being systematically poached.

So you better warn lannigan and the others

that from now on anybody I see

I shall take a pot shot at.

Anybody I catch goes to prison.

- But sir!

- And you, unless you
put a stop to all of this

I'll have you thrown
out of the police force.

Press on.

- Yes sir, yes sir.

Mary, Mary!

- Your lunch is ready.

- Things is looking bad, Mary.

Squire's stopping the poaching.

There'll be an outbreak of crime.

- He'd never do that.

- He would so.

I must get down to the pub and tell them.

Keep me lunch hot for five minutes.

I'll be back in half an hour.

J“ and kissing Ireland's peaceful sky j"

- a rum do.

I don't understand it, dooley.

- Will you stop that fool song?

Peaceful skies, how are you.

- The murtherin' blackguard.

Tried to burn the house about me ears.

- Extraordinary, extraordinary!

- It's a nightmare, major, a nightmare.

Give us the same again, Mr. Dooley.

- I will not, indeed until
you've paid for the last one.

- What's this?

- You can read, can't you?

- Read a lick of that?

I can't and I won't.

- Well that's how it's
going to be from this on.

- Then you'll get no
more pheasants from me.

- So you've heard it too, have you?

- Good morning, major.
- Morning, milligan.

- Heard what?

- That if he sees you
poaching on his land,

he'd shoot you dead and
send you to prison after.

- But that's not legal!

- But it's been lannigan's beat for years.

What's the poor fellow
going to do with his time?

- Maybe now I could work
a bit of your land, major?

- You will not.

That's my preserve.

- Well if the major says—-

- I'm the major's poacher

and I'll not have you
trespassing on my land!

- How would you like a poke in the gob?

- Do what you like.

- Shut up you two.

Terence, fill them up.

Now look here.

It's quite true the squire has
stepped off on the wrong foot

but he strikes me as being
quite a decent bird at heart.

- He's as hard in the heart
as the hobs of Jerusalem.

- Oh come, come, come, come, come,

we must make allowances.

The poor fellow's spent
most of his life in england.

Bound to take a bit of
time to break him in.

Better let me handle this.

- What are you going to
do, beat the head off him?

No, no, no, of course not.

Tackle him at the hunt
ball tomorrow night.

Have a pow—wow over a glass of bubbly.

Never fails, you'll see.

(Light music) (Crowd chattering)

Now, to return to your poacher, lannigan.

- There's nothing more to be said.

Any poacher caught on my land

automatically gets a dose of buckshot

and the maximum sentence.

Would you like another drink?

- Ah, thank you.

- Oh, give me that.

And go away, please.

Clumsy old idiot, he'll have to go.

- Well I dare say he'll be quite happy

to retire with the thousand
the general left him.

- What thousand?

- I believe father
Cormac has written to you

about several bequests
that the general made.

- Bequests?

- Yes, a few dying wishes, don't you know.

For example he left me a thousand

on condition I looked after his old horse.

- My dear fellow, I'd
be glad to look after

his old horse for nothing.

- That's not quite the point.

- The point is mcglusky that the general

made no mention of these
bequests in his will.

- Ah I don't dispute that but it was

in the presence of witnesses
including father Cormac.

- Well I do dispute it.

Good heavens this thing could have no end.

You'll be telling me next
he left you a thousand too.

- He did.

- There you are, you see.

- Darling, let's dance.

- Foiled again.

- Better luck next time.

- Look here, O'Leary.

I don't care a hang about the cash.

I'd willingly forego my share.

- Good.

Shall we dance?

- The last time we danced here

monty announced our engagement, remember?

- Mmm.

Oh yes, hmm.

- Darling, let him
announce it again tonight.

- Oh no Michael, not publicly.

Not after what happened last time.

- But I want everyone to know.

You are certain about it this
time, darling, aren't you?

Aren't you?

- Oh yes, of course.

- You're in love with
the doctor, aren't you?

- Certainly not.

- I thought so.

Of course they're utterly
unsuited to each other.

- Why don't you mind your
own business, Mr. O'Leary?

- Oh but it is my business.

- What does that mean?

- Now you keep calm.

Be a pity for you and ito quarrel.

- Why?

- Well I thought we might
get together over this thing.

- Excuse me.

- Why aren't you behind the bar?

- I'm looking for doctor Flynn.

There's a message to say
Mrs. Parnell is much better

and he needn't call in until the morning.

- I'll take it, you go back to work.

- Certainly, I could do with another.

- I say, O'Leary, we must discuss this.

- Later, mcgillicutty, later.

Doctor, doctor, I'm terribly sorry

you're wanted urgently.

It's a Mrs. Parnell desperately reporting

she has sharp shooting pains all.

- I'm sorry darling, I'll
be back as soon as possible.

- Do hurry back, won't you?

Well, couldn't have been better

if I planned it myself.

- Didn't you?

You know there are about 40 hopeful girls

all waiting for a dance with you.

- Doesn't anyone ever
have any sons around here?

- Oh yes.

But you see since we
stopped fighting the English

they all go to england and join the army.

Meanwhile, you're causing a scandal.

- Who cares?

- Do you want everyone to hate you?

- Not particularly.

Really doesn't matter though.

Not as I intend to settle in this dump.

Once I've squeezed the lemon dry, I'm off.

(Drum rolling)

- There will now be a short interlude.

- I hate interludes.

- Do you now?

I should never have thought that.

- Look here, O'Leary.

We must get this straight.

- All right.

Once and for all, I cannot
accept responsibility

for the deathbed ramblings
of an aged lunatic.

- Lunatic, general?

Sanest man I ever met.

- An 82 year old man with one eye

who tries to jump a 10 foot wall

on a 20 year old horse, sane?

- He was mad to try it
but he was not insane.

- I'm sorry I'd not lived
long enough in Ireland

to appreciate the logic of that remark.

- Do I take it you are refusing to honour

the bequests of the general?

- You do.

- You bounder, sir, you!

I can't find words!

- — Shh.
- Ladies and gentlemen!

Major mcglusky will now officially welcome

our new master of foxhounds,
Mr. Jasper O'Leary.

(Crowd applauding)

- Ladies and gentlemen.

It is an easy and pleasant task to welcome

our new master, for all
of us have been struck

by his friendliness and old world charm.

- [Crowd] Hear, hear.

- It's only through the
generosity of the o'learys

that the hunt survives.

And no doubt, our friend Jasper,

if I may call him that,

no doubt, he intends to resume

readily and bountifully

his great uncle's mantle, that's all.

(Crowd applauding)

- Ladies and gentlemen.

Jumping of all sorts seems
to be an occupational disease

here in rathbarney.

My late lamented great uncle met his end

trying to jump too far.

And now the gallant major takes a toss

jumping to conclusions.

(Crowd murmuring)

I do so hope that you're
all enjoying this ball

because it's the last.

I don't intend to support
this hunt any longer.

But for one thing I'm bitterly
opposed to blood sports.

Oh!

- Ought to be ashamed of it!

- What, an O'Leary against hunting?!

- [Man] No blood sports?

What are you going to do about it, major?!

- [Man] Never heard of such a thing.

- However.

If anyone would like to buy the hounds,

I shall only be to happy to sell

instead of having them destroyed.

The horses I have already sold

to a man called lewin.

- Lewin? Lewin?

But he's a horsemeat dealer!

- [Man] Sacrilege!

(Crowd angrily shouting)

- So, on with the dance.

(Crowd chattering)

Might as well all go home.

- You better pack up now.

- Horsemeat dealer?

If the general had been alive,

he would have killed him.

That fellow's an utter cad.

- I told you that days ago.

- Aren't you coming?

- No, no I must wait for Michael.

- How nice of you to stay.

- I had to wait for Michael.

- Do you think he'll belong?

- Well that depends on Mrs. Parnell.

- Yes, of course.

(Light music)

- You're a funny man.

If you were going to kill the hunt,

why did you bother to hold the ball?

- It was too late to
stop it, for one thing.

And it seemed like a good way
to get to know you better.

- Oh, very flattering.

- Not at all, it's the truth.

Tell me.

What on earth possessed you
to come back to this place?

- Well.

I found I couldn't live
on air indefinitely.

- Broke, huh?

Oh I know the feeling only too well

but you never know what's
just around the corner.

Well I was about to marry a very

unattractive but very rich woman in Capri

when the happy news about
the general came through.

You like the Italian riviera?

- Adore it.

So dol.

I intend to live at least
half the year there once I've,

- squeezed the lemon dry?

- Precisely.

I imagine that doctor character

doesn't get abroad much does he?

- How long do they generally last?

What?

- Your interludes.

- Oh, now I don't make
any promises about that.

(Laughing)

- You wouldn't keep them if you did.

- How well you know me already.

Look.

Why don't you get rid of the doctor

and come back later?

- Why?

- Well we could sit down with
an apple and a good book.

(Laughs)

- How easily I could hate you.

(Thady snoring)

- Have one on me.

- Help yourself.

I will.

(Light music)

- Well, it's the pill pusher.

Come in, doctor, have a nip.

You look as though you need one.

- No thanks.

You ready, Serena?

- Yes.

- Nothing serious with
Mrs. Parnell, I trust.

- It was a false alarm, O'Leary.

I received the wrong message.

- How very annoying, I'll
speak to thady in the morning.

- Good night.

- Good night, Mrs. Stewart.

- Good night, Mr. O'Leary.

And thank you.

(Snoring)

- I've a spit that would trip a duck.

Well, it was a wonderful party, wonderful.

But sure all good things come to an end.

- Yes they do indeed, your job among them.

You're fired.

- You haven't said a single
word all the way home.

You're cross because I
was alone with Jasper.

I couldn't help that now, could I?

Are you coming in?

- No thanks.

- All right.

- Serena!

- Yes?

- [Michael] You're not to
see Jasper O'Leary again.

- I beg your pardon.

- I mean that.

Good night.

(Revving)

(Phone ringing)

- [Jasper] I haven't seen you for ages.

Isn't it time we met again?

- (Laughing) Yes.

- [Jasper] Right away?

- Yes.

- No hunting.
- My little nest.

- Will the man stop at nothing?

- Wait, wait till I tell you something.

The other night I was hanging around.

And I..

- Yes, go on, go on.

- Well there was the squire, and he

- oh, that's disgraceful.

- If the poor doctor only knew what I know

he'd know something.

- The poor creature.

Somebody should tell him and
put him out of his misery.

- Ah better someone should
put O'Leary out of his misery.

- He's right.

He's absolutely right.

Someone should murder that man.

(Tense music)

(Whistling)

- There's an angel passing by!

(Slapping)

- I wonder whether he meant that.

- Of course not, a lot of talk.

- Eh, pity.

- Oh doctor, excuse me.

I'm having a little trouble with me weeds.

I don't suppose you'd give
me a pound of arsenic?

- I would not.

- No, no, no, I thought you wouldn't.

- Good morning, Kathy.

- Morning, Michael.

- Is Serena with you?

- No, she's still in bed.

- No wonder.

What were you two doing till
five o'clock this morning?

- Oh, don't be silly old boy.

I left her at midnight.

- Oh, come, come, come, my dear fellow.

I was awake, it was broad daylight.

- Shut up monty.

You're talking nonsense.

- I am not talking
nonsense, I can assure you.

Oh, oh, oh I see, as you were.

I must have been dreaming.

Well, I got to,

good heavens, see you soon.

- Thank you for trying, Kathy.

- Michael.

How much more are you going to take?

- No, don't Kathy, please.

- I'll not stand by and see
you make a fool of yourself.

Have you no pride?

Once was enough but to
see it happening again?

- The way I run my life
is no concern of yours.

- That's been obvious for years.

- There's only one of
these with an x on it.

Now the boy who draws
the one with the x on it

is the man to do the killing, right?

- [All] Right.

- But listen, not by word or sign

must the lucky man give himself away.

No one must know who does it, right?

- [All] Right.

- That way we'll all be safe.

- Right.

- Take a pick.

And good luck to the man
that has the good fortune

to do the noble deed.

Come on, lads.

That's it.

Come on, come on, take your pick,

we haven't all night.

Now remember what I said.

Not by word or sign.

(Thudding)

- A man, how are you.

(Kooky music)

- Hey pat.

Terence'll never have the nerve to do it.

You game to have a try?

- Sure.

They'll all think it's him.

- Yeah.

- If we wait for that lad

we'll be waiting a hundred years.

You think we ought to have
a dart at it ourselves?

- Why not?
- Come on.

- Diversion, diversion!

Look, that poor idiot
there couldn't murder

his own grandmother.

Should we chance our arm?

- I'm very apt.

- Good, put it there.

- Are you sure this thing works?

- It's the same spring gun
that killed me poor old father

so I know it works.

Come on, let's fix this wire.

- Look, lannigan.

Are you sure the old
rapscallion passes this way?

- I told you he comes
down this path every day.

- Good, then we're sure to get him.

- Cover up the wire.

- Aye, I'll cover it now.

- You better fix the trigger.

- Oh yes.

This would blow the brute to kingdom come.

Cover it up.

Come on, mind that.

- Hey you!

(Tense music)

What are you doing here?

(Gun firing)

- Lannigan!

What the devil are you doing on my land?

- Fleeing for me life, major,

and I tell you no lies.

- You've been poaching O'Leary land!

- Who, me sir?

Ah, devil the poach.

I was taking a short cut to the village

when suddenly the squire leapt out at me.

He points a gun at me chest

and fires both barrels
straight between me eyes.

Oh, only for me swervin',
I'd be a dead man.

- Did he hit you?

- Did he hit me?

Sure I won't be able to
sit down for the next year.

- Where did this happen?

- Above on the Ridge path.

What?

Right of way, monstrous.

Nobody's safe.

High time something was
done about that fellow.

Now you out along, old
chap, get yourself seen to.

- Thank you sir.

- Leave this to me.

Tempting.

Could pass for a poacher.

Out of range.

Still worth a bang.

Give him a fright.

(Gun firing)

(Tense music)

(Light music)

- Oh I'm sorry, sir.

I didn't know you were there.

- That's all right, saxby.

Put those papers down.

- Yes, sir.

Did you shoot anything on your walk, sir?

- Walk? (Stammering)

I've been sitting here
ever since breakfast.

- But sir, I saw you.

- Now listen, I ought to
know whether I've been

for a walk or not.

- Yes sir.

- And if anyone says that
he's seen me, he's a liar.

Do you understand that?

- Yes, sir.

Will I take your hat, sir?

- Yes.

- Excuse me, sir.

(Light music)

- Hello.

- If you're looking for Serena, she's out.

- I'll just wait then.

You know she's very silly
hiding herself away like this

because all I want is a plain talk.

- Is that all?

- Yes.

- It can wait then.

Michael?

- Yes?

- I shouldn't have spoken
like that yesterday.

- That's all right.

- Mind you, I don't
take a word of it back.

- Well it just doesn't matter then.

- I don't want to lose your
friendship, that's all.

- Ah sure you'd never do that, Kathy.

(Kooky music)

(Gasping)

- Have you got any Brandy?

- Are you all right?

- Brandy.

- Oh Brandy, yes, yes of course.

I'll get you some.

Michael, thank heavens!

- It's him.
- It's who?

- In there, accident.

- — What?
- Still alive though.

Might happen to anyone.

Got him in the chest I think.

Long range.

Bad shot, complete accident.

- Brandy.

- Oh, oh I'll get you some.

- Where's the wound?

- What do you mean?

Like a fool I chased one of those poachers

and I came over faint and passed out.

What do you think you're doing?

- Now don't talk please.

- And on top of that, assault and battery

and grievous bodily harm!

- All right, all right, leave it to me.

- Leave it to you?

I was the one that was wounded of course?

Do you realise that?

I suppose you do.

- Ah major sir.

Things has gone too far, major.

Attempted murder.

- Attempted murder?

- Yes.

I'd want a complete statement
before making an arrest.

- It was an accident.

- But lannigan said differently.

- Lannigan?

It's my word against his and
I say it was an accident!

- Major, don't you see?

It's a wonderful chance.

If you say you saw the
squire fire the shot

and lannigan shows his backside,

we'll have the squire inside for 10 years!

What?

As you were, by jove, narrow squeak.

- [Michael] Monty.

- [Monty] What?

- Would you come here a minute please?

- Ooh, ooh, yes, yes.

You can't go in there.

You stay here, spoil everything.

I mean awkward situation.

You stay there and don't listen.

Here we are.

- Don't worry, monty.

- Good heavens!

- I'll run O'Leary home.

He's had a bad fainting fit.

He's not up to the walking.

- I'm perfectly all right.

- I mean do you mean?

- When did you last consult
a doctor about your heart?

- You trying to scare me?

- It's time someone did.

You should stop drinking and
take things easy, O'Leary.

Your heart's in a bad state.

- Oh I'm sorry, doctor.

I intend to live a long while yet.

- Maybe.

But I warn you a heavy binge

or a sudden shock could
Polish you off like that.

- Don't panic.

- I say, I say, O'Leary.

Isn't that a royal air force tie?

- Yes.

- Good heavens, if I'd know, I'd never

but I'd no idea you were in the raf.

- I wasn't.

(Kooky music)

- O'Leary said the doctor,

a sudden shock could
carry you off like that.

And a good job too, says he.

- It'll take more than a shock

if the village is to be saved.

- I can't understand
why the major preferred

not to prefer the charge.

- Wouldn't you think
now, he'd be on our side?

- I've been racking my brains
since I heard about the shock.

At lunchtime I dropped a tray of crockery

right behind his ear.

- And what happened?

- The dinner service was massacred.

- Did it give him a shock?

- Not at all, man.

He cursed as healthy as you or me.

- Tell me, how was he looking?

- Pale.

Now if we could only
think of the right shock.

- [Jasper] Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Dooley, there are a couple
of cases of that champagne

at the back of my car
leftover from the ball.

Pick them up, will you?

And you can add that value
to what you owe me already.

- The general paid for them bottles.

- I am selling them back.

Large whiskey please.

- Terence!

Where are you, Terence?

Where is that fella?

(Clock ticking)

Terence, Terence?

- Yes, Mr. Dooley?

- [Dooley] There are some
cases in the squire's car.

Help me to get them out.

- Yes, Mr. Dooley.

- Terence?

Are you there, Terence?

Get that other case.

(Bomb ticking)

- Did you do the job?

Good.

- I'm sorry to keep you waiting
but they're not very bright.

- What's all the hurry?

- Don't ask so many questions.

I'll tell you later on.

All aboard?

Oh!

Oh, come, come!

Miss! (Clanging)

- Well, where are we going?

- I'm not gonna tell you, it's a surprise.

- What sort of surprise?

- Oh something in Dublin.

- Dublin?

We're not going in this.

- Oh, good heavens, no.

This will blow up long
before we got there.

- [Porter] Rathbarney,
rathbarney, mulligan street

and shamrock town!

(Whistle blowing)

- Here's our chance now.

(Train chugging)

Steer that if you can, my bucko.

Someone's gonna get a nice surprise.

- Yes.

- A nice big surprise.

(Booming)

I'll kill him for that!

That's the second time
he's tried to murder me!

- Thank you very much, sir.

Thank you madam.

- Thank you.

Well there we are.

Slightly better lines than the
other one, don't you think?

- Gorgeous.

What are you going to do with the old one?

- Leave it in the station
yard as a monument.

- Thank you sir.
- Thank you.

- (Laughing) Home, James.

- I'm leaving for Italy in a few days.

Do you want to come with me?

- Jasper, are you proposing to me?

- It's rather more of a
proposition than a proposal.

- Oh I see.

- Wanna come?

- No, Jasper, it wouldn't be proper.

- Are you so anxious to be proper?

- No.

But I wouldn't want to be
just an interlude either.

- Think it over, Serena.

- You think it over too.

- Allow me.

- Michael, what are you doing here?

- Waiting for you.

- My dear doctor, you really
ought to be more careful.

You might catch your death of cold.

- For several days now I've
had an urgent desire to hit you

and if you don't clear off
within two seconds, I will.

- Well, a fighting irishman.

Ah, oh, remember, dickey heart.

- I want to speak to you alone.

- All right.

- Well now if you'll promise
not to hit her while I'm away,

I'll take my dickey heart home to bed.

(Car starts)

Good night, all.

(Car revving)

- Now listen, Michael.

- No, you don't need to explain, Serena.

I'm grateful to you, really grateful.

In one week you've cured me of something

that might have lasted a lifetime.

- What do you mean?

- I mean he's welcome to you.

I can't think of two people more likely

to make each other deliriously unhappy.

- Well now.

- If you'll take my advice
you'll get him out of here.

He's headed for a lot of trouble.

Good night.

- Either it'll cut his head off

or it'll throw the old car out of control

into the ravine.

- So you better stand by,
sure he might only be wounded.

We'll make a nice clean job of it.

Shh.

Here he comes.

- This is the end of him.

The old wire never fails.

(Zooming)

A new motor car, the dirty blackguard.

- Of all the mean,
underhanded crooked devils!

- The day seems long with nothing to do.

Could I not walk around
the major's land with you

later on today?

- You could not.

(Whistling)

- Which of you did it?

Come on now, who blew up the
squire's old car yesterday?

(Shattering)

Was it you?

- And blew meself up along with it?

Have sense, man.

- Well someone done it.

Squire's demanding an arrest.

Whoever done it, he's a
fool as well as a criminal.

- What do you mean?

- Not to make sure the squire was in it.

- Ooh! (Clanging)

- Break one more glass
and I'll hand you over,

you criminal fool.

Laddies, these are sad days indeed.

- You know what day it is?

O'Leary day.

- So it is.

- I remember years ago how it used to be

on this blessed night.

- Ah you're right.

The old general sitting there,

all the drinks on him.

And thady handing round the letters

with a little present for
every person in the village.

- Well said, sir.

And here comes thady with
a nice little present

for every one of you.

Letters from the squire.

- I don't believe it!

- It's a miracle.

- Mister dooley, private and personal.

Mister lannigan, personal.

(Laughing) That's no lie.

Inspector milligan,
mister diversion Healy.

No no, don't bother to
open them for there's not

a word of good news in any of them.

I read them all.

- It's me notice to quit
but I won't take it.

I won't take it!

- He's charging me with poaching!

Me after all I've did for the estate!

- Put out I am.

Out of me little nest.

- He's after writin' to headquarters

demandin' me removal.

Will nothing stop the man?

- Forgive me.

- I'm leaving tomorrow after 60 years.

Working myself to the bone in
the service of the o'learys.

Would you believe it?

- And this to happen on O'Leary day.

- If only the ghost would walk tonight

and strike him down.

- Ah, the shock of that might end him.

The doctor said a shock.

A shock.

A shock!

Oh, egad, a shock!

- He's astray in the wits.

The blow's after turning his brain.

- Yahoo!

- Thady, thady! — what?

- Take this up to the hall

and see that the squire has
a good swally of it tonight.

- Why?

- Now don't ask any questions.

See that he has a good sup of that

and all our troubles will be over.

Oh.

Yahoo!

- Thank you.

What is this?

- Liqueur whiskey sir.

- I asked for strega.

- Ah you wouldn't want
to drink any of them

foreign liquors when
there's the good hard stuff

in the house.

- You do as you're told.

- Yes sir.

Well what'll I do with this now

that it's poured out, sir?

Wouldn't you just—-

- drink it yourself.

- You'll pinch it anyway.
- Yes sir.

- Oh go on.

What's the matter, it
isn't poisoned, is it?

(Clanking)

Oh, get out of here.

- Yes sir, yes sir.

- Go on get out.
- Yes.

- Stupid old clot.

Now Serena, about that
proposed trip to Italy.

- The answer is still no, Jasper.

- Pity, you're forcing me
into a regrettable position.

I shall now have to ask you to marry me.

(Laughing)

- You're not serious.

- If it's the only way I
can get you there, I am.

Besides I think we could be very happy

in an unhappy sort of way.

- That's funny, that's
just what Michael said.

- How about it?

- I don't know, Jasper.

I didn't think marriage
was what you had in mind.

- If you're horrified of the thought

of living in this barrack, don't be.

I have plans.

- What sort of plans?

- Oh, reconstruction
and that sort of thing.

- Ooh, that would cost a lot of money.

- You can leave the finances to me.

- Don't think me mercenary

but my late husband told me that

and he left me exactly
three and fourpence.

- Between you and me the
general died a very rich man

and before long I intend
to be a great deal richer.

Will you marry me?

- I rather think I will.

- [Jasper] Yes, I rather
thought you would.

Ah.

I think you'd better take me home.

- What, now?

What an extraordinary performance.

Oh really Serena.

This sudden victorian pose of yours

is more than I can bear.

- We've got all our lives ahead of us.

- Well don't lets waste any of them now.

What do you want, thady?

- I came to see if you
wanted anything, sir.

- Well I don't.

- [Thady] Will I wait up for you sir?

- No you go on with your packing.

- Very well, sir.

I hope you sleep well and
don't have any shocks.

- Any shocks?

- Yeah, this is O'Leary night, sir.

The night the ghost walks with
a burning candle in his hand.

- Well let's hope he drops it.

Might save me a lot of trouble.

(Humming)

- The old chap would
have an answer to this.

He'd never have sat down under it all.

- You're right.

It's enough to fetch the poor old fellow

out of his grave.

- Well tonight's the night.

His ghost.

That ghost!

Yes.

Only a genius could have thought of this!

- But I'm telling you we
should leave his corpse

in the wreckage of the old motor car.

- And let milligan find he
was beheaded by the wire?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Dig him a good deep grave.

Shh.

Here he comes, he's taking her home.

He'll be back inside half an hour.

Come on quick, fix the wire.

- [Lannigan] This time it's low enough.

Tonight's the night!

- Would you like to have a drink?

- What do you think?

Hello major, going abroad?

- No, no, no.

Just carrying the old trunk about.

Glad to see you're looking better.

Have to be careful though,

early to bed and all that.

And mind you keep the eyes
well shut tonight, eh?

The ghost walks tonight, you know.

Can't be too careful with a dickey heart.

Well I'm just going to make
a trunk call. (Chuckling)

That's a joke.

Excuse me.

No, no, no, don't close the windows.

Just pull the curtains.

- Yes.

- And saxby, I've got a most important

job of work on tonight.

I'm writing my memoirs.

- Yes sir, well I'll just...

- No you will not.

Now listen.

No phones, nothing.

When I ring the bell in two hours or so

bring me a large Brandy and soda.

- Yes sir, can I just?

- No you cannot.

Now if you knock or anybody else

I shan't answer.

But that doesn't mean I'm
not here, because I shall be.

And if anybody says I'm not,
he's a liar, you understand?

- [Saxby] Yes sir.

- Regan?

And where might you be going?

- Sure, over to dooley's
for a game of poker.

Don't bother waiting up.

- Haha, I won't.

- Everything okay?
- Yes.

- How about you?

- We couldn't bring the
humane killer, it's broke.

- Ah shh, don't worry about that.

I've got the sten gun.

That'll be humane enough
for the likes of him.

Come on, boys.

- Now we haven't a minute to spare.

Are you all right, diversion?

- Well I am but I'm out of practise.

Sure, 'tis years since I killed a man.

- Don't you worry, we'll
leave all the heavy work

to this fellow.

Say, what are you trembling for?

- Oh I'm sorry Mr. Dooley

but I've never murdered anyone before.

- Hold your tongue, will you

or I'll cut it out of you, come here you.

There's the side of the hall.

That's the coal chute
leading to the cellar.

You'll climb down there and then

we'll hand you down the
dynamite and the petrol.

Lots of it because we want the whole place

to go up with a great bang!

- What about poor thady and the staff?

- They're safe from harm
in the servants wing.

- What if the squire wakes?

- He won't, I've seen to that.

I've sent up a bottle of doped whiskey.

He'll sleep like a corpse
till he is a corpse.

Come on now.

Come on diversion, we'll
get the ammunition.

That's it, go on now.

- Here!

Where might you be going, dooley?

- We're going up to Regan's
for a game of poker.

Don't wait up for me.

Come on lads.

- Monty?

Jasper's just leaving.

What?

Ooh, sorry, I can't come out.

Unsuitably dressed.

Good night.

See you later.

I mean, see you sometime.

Good night.

- Good night.

Unsuitably dressed?

What goes on in that study?

Well, see you later perhaps.

- Later, tonight?

- Yes.

- Why, how?

- Life is full of little surprises.

Let this be one of them.

(Revving)

(Chuckling)

- Now that we've lowered the wire

it'll be a pleasure to see his face

when he finds it's no
longer attached to his body.

- It's a devil of a time.

I hope nothing's happened to the poor man.

- It's gonna be a dirty old night.

- Aye.

(Shattering)

- Look at that, you clumsy goon.

There's half a gallon of petrol gone.

- Oh it's me nerves, Mr.
- Dooley, it's me nerves.

- It's your nerves, is it?

- Yes, I can't help it.

I'm shaking all over.

- There's a car coming!

- Don't touch that, that's dynamite!

Shut your gob and come
on for heaven's sake.

(Thunder rumbling)

(Tyre popping)

(Air hissing)

(Thunder rumbling)

(Screaming)

- What's that?

(Thunder rumbling)

(Grunting)

- Ooh, what a genius.

(Humming)

(Light music)

Shh.

Many's the time when
Mary was in service here

I used to climb these stairs
with me heart thumping.

(Thunder rumbling)

- Bad luck that lightning.

Push him through, lad.

We'll fetch the petrol and the dynamite.

Don't you move now.

- Sure, I can't, I'm stuck.

- Good, I'm glad to hear it.

(Tense music)

(Screaming)

(Creaking)

(Ominous music)

(Thunder rumbling) (Screaming)

(Crashing)

- He's not in his bed.

Come on, let's hide over here.

(Screaming)

(Ominous music)

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

- Hey!

Hey, it's me, listen!

(Screaming)

Hey, hey, wait!

It's me thady!

- There he is, gone.

- Ooh, he went up, Mr. Dooley.

He went up,

- I saw him!
- Go down.

There, be careful now, dynamite.

Catch.

(Thunder rumbling)

(Creaking)

(Screaming)

(Kooky music)

- Oh my, ah!

(Thunder rumbling)

Oh!

(Light music)

- What the devil is he doing
down there all this time?

- Mr. Dooley, Mr. Dooley!

- Have you lit the fuse?

- Yes, no!

No, there's no need, Mr. Dooley.

The squire's down there setting fire

to the house himself.

- That dirty blackguard.

He wants to get the fire insurance money.

- We can't let him burn
the old place down!

- We cannot indeed.

I'll get the fire brigade right away.

Come on!

- I'll come with you, Mr. Dooley.

I'll come with you.

Oh no I won't, I'm stuck!

I'm stuck, Mr. Dooley!

Mr. Dooley, I'm stuck!

- I tell you he'll never come now!

- Stop, stop, don't be nervous.

- But I tell you!

- Look, there's someone
come up from the house.

Don't be nervous man, sure
it's only Regan and the boys.

Oh.

Stop, stop, lads, mind the wire.

What's up?

- The ghost!

- Watch out for the wire!
- Where?

(Thunder rumbling) (Chattering)

Run, run boys, run!

- [Cormac] Have you seen the major?

- No, father.

- [Cormac] Well where's dooley?

- He's above at Regan's playing poker.

- [Milligan] He is not.

Mrs. Regan just told
us that Regan was here

playing poker with dooley.

- What's going on?

Have you found monty?

- No, everyone seems to have disappeared.

- Well why did you phone father Cormac?

- That's a surprise, darling.

- Well I'm getting tired of surprises.

Now what's happening?

- Come on!

Quick, come on!

(Tense music)

The hall's on fire.

Get the apparatus!

Come on, quick.

- The devil.

(Bell ringing)

- Oh Mr. Dooley!

Mr. Dooley, help!

I'm cooking!

I'm cooking, Mr. Dooley!

(Bell ringing)

- The fire engine!

And it's dooley driving!

What's up?

- The hall's on fire!

Everyone on board!

All hands to the pump!

- Come on boys, all aboard!

(Men chattering)

(Revving)

- [Diversion] Hey, wait
for me, wait for me!

(Bell ringing)

- [Lannigan] Mind the wire, mind the wire!

- You all right?

Sabotage!

Come on boys, we must break through!

- [Diversion] Wait for me!

Wait for me!

- Come on, it's down in the cellar!

- Jasper!

What happened?

- Well the poor old house caught fire

but the brigade has arrived
before it got properly underway.

- Oh you.

- Well it's no laughing matter,

it's costing me thousands.

Well, well, well.

It's the entire population in
the auxiliary fire service?

- In an emergency, Mr. O'Leary,

the whole village acts as one man.

- Yes, with admirable promptitude.

- Our wonderful brigade, O'Leary.

They have second sight.

Sometimes they get to a fire

before it's even started.

(Fire crackling)
(Men chattering)

- Mr. Dooley, I'm being blowed up!

I'm being blowed up, mister, (screaming)

Mr. Dooley!

Whoah, I'm being drowned!

I'm being drownded Mr. Dooley!

Oh, oh!

(Men chattering)

- At last we've done it!

- We've done it!
- We've done it!

- Done what?

- Put out a fire before it put itself out.

- Oh well done, well done.

Now quiet, quiet, if you
please, if you please.

Mr. O'Leary.

You know Mr. Truslove, the
solicitor for the estate?

- Yes I do.

- It was I who sent for him.

- Why, is he a fireman too?

- Just before he died,
the general handed me

a sealed envelope asking me
to open it on O'Leary night.

I did, tonight.

In it there was a letter and a new will.

- A new will? — what?

- Maybe everything will be all right now.

- Ooh, Mr. Dooley!

Mr. Dooley!

- Oh! (Blabbering)

- Stop!

- Now wait a minute, fellas.

It's only me, thady.

- [Men] Ah, thady! (Chattering)

- I've seen a ghost, I've
seen a ghost upstairs.

- Quiet!

Quiet please.

In the letter, the general directed

that if Mr. Jasper O'Leary
proved a good squire,

I should destroy the new will.

If however he proved to be a bad squire,

I should produce the new will

which left everything to
major montague mcglusky.

(Men cheering)

Please.

Of course I couldn't take
action on my own responsibility

so I consulted Mr. Truslove.

And no matter whether we think Mr. O'Leary

a good squire or not,

the law is the new will must stand.

(Cheering)

- I shall dispute it of course.

- It's no use, Mr. O'Leary.

Although the general made
it without consulting me,

the will is valid.

(Cheering)

- Where is the major?

- Three cheers for the major!

Hip hip!

(Screaming)

- It's all right, it's only me.

- It's the major!

(Men chattering)

- Quiet!

Quiet, please.

I hate to interrupt these celebrations.

I can of course contest this will.

However I feel that if I did

I might perhaps not live long enough

to enjoy the proceeds.

- You'd be right.

- Exactly, thank you.

So if you'll just lay
off trying to kill me

for the next half hour

I'll leave this place tonight.

- Well that's fair enough.

- That's a reasonable request.

- Good.

- There'll be no more murders tonight.

- And that's an order.

- And that's from the police.

- I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Irish guards.

- Jasper?

Jaspen

can I come with you?

- My dear Serena, you amaze me.

However, you made a wise decision.

- Well, you're broke.

And I've only got that three and fourpence

my husband left me.

What are we going to live on?

- I'll think of someone.

Here.

Bye, thanks for everything.

(Men chattering)

- Mind the step!

(Men cheering)

- Ah well, we'll miss him the blackguard.

- It was like old times while it lasted.

- Oh look, there's another of them.

(Men laughing)

- Who in the world are you?

- Oh go on with you.

- I say congratulations.

Your make up's even better than mine!

- [Regan] It's O'Leary night all right.

- You're not gonna frighten me this time.

- [O'Connor] We'll dig
a grave for him too.

- Too late, it's all over.

- Go on, walk through the wall.

Oho, he did too.

(Men screaming)

(Light music)