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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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When you are single and live in New York...
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00:00:52,532 --> 00:00:55,228
there is no end to the ways to fill your days.'
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Museums, parks, theaters, concert halls...
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00:00:58,472 --> 00:01:01,066
nightclubs and countless restaurants.
5
00:01:01,675 --> 00:01:06,169
But one of the most amazing things
about living in a city like New York...
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00:01:06,646 --> 00:01:11,208
is that any night of the week
you can go to Paris.
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Joy for Two for one.
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- Enjoy the show.
- Thank you.
9
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It was one of those
perfect New York nights...
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00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:36,103
That fucking Richard.
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...followed by a less than perfect
New York day.
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00:01:38,678 --> 00:01:41,306
He left another "I'm sorry" message
on my machine.
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00:01:41,381 --> 00:01:43,975
Like the "I'm sorries"
are gonna make up for the fact...
14
00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:46,746
that I caught him eating
another woman's pussy.
15
00:01:50,624 --> 00:01:53,149
It's okay. Nothing has to change.
16
00:01:54,261 --> 00:01:57,719
- Just think of this as a big purse.
- Miranda, your purse just spit up.
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00:01:57,798 --> 00:02:01,290
You'd think after three weeks
of no returned calls, he'd get the message:
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"Not okay to eat another woman's pussy."
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00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,264
Samantha, Brady.
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00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:08,330
I'm pissed off, Charlotte.
What the hell am I supposed to say?
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00:02:08,408 --> 00:02:11,104
Call it "sushi." Another woman's "sushi."
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Fine. Richard ate another woman's sushi.
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Fish and chips would have been
such an unfortunate order right now.
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00:02:17,317 --> 00:02:19,751
- What did you do last night?
- Went to a movie.
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00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,481
- With who?
- Myself.
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On date night?
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00:02:22,722 --> 00:02:25,782
Are we still gonna have to call it
"date night" in our 50s?
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00:02:25,859 --> 00:02:29,852
I'd think that everyone would be looking
at me thinking, "That poor, pathetic girl."
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00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:32,694
- Like the way I'm looking at you right now?
- What?
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00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:34,097
You don't go out alone?
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00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:36,362
- On date night?
- You're never alone in New York.
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00:02:36,436 --> 00:02:39,200
It's the perfect place to be single.
The city is your date.
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- You're dating the city?
- For about 18 years.
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It's getting serious. I think I'm in love.
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00:02:44,711 --> 00:02:48,010
- Do not check your messages again.
- I'm not.
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00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:50,945
I just wanted you to all hear his tone
on my machine.
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00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:53,884
If you keep participating in this,
you might as well call him.
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00:02:53,954 --> 00:02:56,752
- I'm not participating.
- This has got to stop.
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00:02:56,823 --> 00:03:00,452
Yes, it's tragic that you were in love
and it didn't work out.
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00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:04,691
But you have got to emotionally
cut him out of your life and move on.
41
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,163
And the sooner the better.
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00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:09,361
Everyone knows
you only get two great loves in your life.
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00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:12,530
- Everyone who? Where did you get that?
- I read it in a magazine.
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00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:15,473
What magazine?
Convenient Theories For You Monthly?
45
00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:18,340
- What does that mean?
- Last year, when you were married...
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00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:20,606
you believed
a woman only got one great love.
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00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,875
And that phrase "great love,"
what does it mean?
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00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:27,249
It means a love that changes you,
that shakes you to your core...
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after which you're never the same.
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Seriously, there is not an unlimited amount
of love in the world. It's rare.
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00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,892
Way to take the edge off a club sandwich.
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00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:39,489
So far, I've only had one: Trey.
How many great loves have you had?
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- Zero.
- Really?
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00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:44,399
- What about Steve?
- Steve's a friend, not a core-shaker.
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I'm done with great love.
I'm back to great lovers.
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- You?
- I refuse to define love...
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in those limited terms.
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- I had to.
- Come on, Carrie. Aidan and Big.
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00:03:57,284 --> 00:04:00,253
One, two. And according to you, I'm done.
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00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,754
No, it was a stupid article.
It was at the dentist.
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00:04:02,822 --> 00:04:06,280
It's too late for that now.
You said it. It's over for me.
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"Here lies Carrie.
She had two loves, and lots of shoes."
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Fuck love.
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I gave you "sushi." I need "fuck."
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After a light lunch,
Miranda stopped to set down a heavy load.
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00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:22,507
- You want me to carry him?
- No, I'm fine. I just got to switch.
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Ladies, seamen, 12:00.
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00:04:26,513 --> 00:04:31,246
I pray, when I turn around, there are sailors.
Because with her, you never know.
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00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:36,888
Wow! We have just spotted our first sailors.
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Fleet Week has begun.
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Fleet Week is that one week a year
when the U.S. Naval ships dock...
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and our fair city is made even fairer...
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with cute, sweet American sailors
looking for fun.
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00:04:51,404 --> 00:04:55,807
I've been so distracted by Richard
that I almost forgot my favorite holiday.
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00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:57,775
- Fleet Week isn't a holiday.
- It should be.
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00:04:57,844 --> 00:04:59,641
Sort of the antidote to Valentine's Day.
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00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:02,841
This is just what I need.
I'm gonna ask them about the big party.
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00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:05,111
Hold on there, Pearl Harbor. Not interested.
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00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,176
Why? We always have fun when we go.
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00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:11,986
Me running through Times Square in heels,
trying to find a cute sailor to kiss?
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00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:15,084
That ship has sailed. Pun intended.
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00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:19,721
We have to show them a good time. It's
our patriotic duty as women of New York.
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00:05:19,799 --> 00:05:23,030
If you want to do your patriotic duty
as a New York woman...
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you will come shopping with me right now...
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and throw some
much-needed money downtown.
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- I'm in.
- I'm in.
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00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:31,039
I forgot the snugli.
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Let's get you a cab home. There's one. Taxi!
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00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:40,208
It's okay.
90
00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:45,985
- Okay, so I'll call you later?
- Overspend for me.
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00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:47,048
Okay.
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- Bye, Brady.
- I'm okay. I got it.
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Bye-bye.
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00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:55,797
I'll call you later.
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00:05:57,504 --> 00:06:01,736
Miranda suddenly found herself
moving slowly away from her old life...
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00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:07,373
and quickly into her new one.
97
00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:13,209
Poor baby. Boy, pink thing.
98
00:06:13,286 --> 00:06:15,413
Boy, look at that pink face.
99
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:18,681
- Dear, let Magda help.
- I'm good.
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00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:22,216
I've got it. You just keep doing the thing.
The mirror.
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I'll get the nurse to put him down for a nap.
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- On floor?
- Lina.
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Is that my big boy?
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00:06:29,569 --> 00:06:32,231
Hi. What are you doing here?
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00:06:32,305 --> 00:06:35,365
I just came over to hang with B-boy.
Magda let me in.
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00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:38,569
Hey, champ. Want half a sandwich?
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Where did you get a...
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Okay.
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00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:48,652
Steve, I can't have you "hang" right now.
I've got a schedule.
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00:06:48,722 --> 00:06:52,089
I've got to get Brady down for a nap now,
or he won't sleep tonight.
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00:06:52,158 --> 00:06:54,456
- Lina!
- How's your nipples?
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00:06:55,228 --> 00:06:58,220
- Excuse me?
- Lina said sometimes they get sore.
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00:06:58,298 --> 00:07:00,698
Would you get Brady ready for his nap?
114
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:03,793
And please don't talk to Steve
about my nipples. Thanks.
115
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:07,499
- Don't blame her. I asked.
- You just randomly asked about my nipples?
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00:07:07,574 --> 00:07:10,805
Yeah, I talk about your nipples to strangers
all the time.
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Bye.
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The bum's rush? I came over to help.
119
00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:18,582
I appreciate that, but I don't need help.
I've hired help...
120
00:07:18,651 --> 00:07:22,212
- and we've got everything under control.
- Okay, so thanks for the eats.
121
00:07:24,924 --> 00:07:27,415
Have a good evening, Mrs. MacDougal.
122
00:07:28,228 --> 00:07:32,221
Charlotte realized she may have put
Great Love Number One behind her...
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00:07:32,298 --> 00:07:34,994
but his name was still in front of her.
124
00:07:50,683 --> 00:07:54,517
Break-ups.' bad for the heart,
good for the economy.
125
00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:58,882
It's the bad guy again.
And I'll keep calling till you agree to talk.
126
00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:03,327
So unless you want 20 messages every day,
you'll meet me tonight for a drink.
127
00:08:03,396 --> 00:08:06,388
I miss you. I'll be waiting, gorgeous.
128
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:07,558
Right sentiment...
129
00:08:07,634 --> 00:08:08,623
Sushi Samba.
130
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,191
...wrong restaurant.
131
00:08:11,604 --> 00:08:13,663
Richard Wright? Thank you.
132
00:08:29,689 --> 00:08:31,281
Hello, gorgeous.
133
00:08:33,193 --> 00:08:37,027
In a wildly optimistic gesture,
I ordered you a Dirty Martini.
134
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,928
Dirty Martini? Dirty bastard.
135
00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:55,144
I've always wanted to do that,
but I don't think I could pull it off.
136
00:08:55,215 --> 00:08:56,580
How did it feel?
137
00:08:57,483 --> 00:09:00,941
Fabulous. But I woke up this morning
even angrier.
138
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:02,647
I need to hurt him more.
139
00:09:02,722 --> 00:09:06,021
I can't even be around that man.
He's dangerous and toxic.
140
00:09:06,092 --> 00:09:07,753
So, he's manthrax?
141
00:09:08,728 --> 00:09:10,252
Arrogant prick.
142
00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:12,855
- I wonder what he was gonna say.
- What could he say?
143
00:09:12,932 --> 00:09:16,891
That he loves me. That we belong together.
That he didn't mean to hurt me.
144
00:09:17,837 --> 00:09:22,069
People make mistakes. I cheated on Aidan.
He gave me a second chance.
145
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:25,036
And look how well that turned out.
146
00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:29,381
- That was different.
- True. It wasn't a sushi situation.
147
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:31,144
And that's another thing.
148
00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:33,651
I'm not doing the baby talk at breakfast.
149
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,588
I signed up for friendship,
not some PC bullshit baby brunches.
150
00:09:39,225 --> 00:09:42,058
You're overreacting.
Brady won't happen every day.
151
00:09:42,262 --> 00:09:43,354
He'd better not.
152
00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:46,159
Miranda's still Miranda.
She had a baby, not a lobotomy.
153
00:09:46,232 --> 00:09:50,032
- She knows you're not child-friendly.
- Don't kid yourself.
154
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:52,628
The days of "pussy" and "fuck" are gone.
155
00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:57,399
Later that night,
I got to thinking about days gone by.
156
00:09:57,577 --> 00:10:02,276
That carefree time when our schedules
were as wide open as our hearts.
157
00:10:02,415 --> 00:10:05,714
The time before the baggage
and break-ups and babies...
158
00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:07,480
began to weigh us all down.
159
00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:09,111
I couldn't help but wonder...
160
00:10:09,188 --> 00:10:12,214
does that sense of adventure
still flicker inside of us?
161
00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:15,489
Or when it comes
to being carefree single girls...
162
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:17,529
have we missed the boat?
163
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:26,062
Surprise. Pain au chocolat.
164
00:10:29,108 --> 00:10:31,235
I'm sorry. I don't know you.
165
00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:36,413
- I'm Carrie. I'm a friend of...
- Hi. This is Lina.
166
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:38,778
Come on in.
167
00:10:41,821 --> 00:10:44,255
- Does she speak?
- No. I love her.
168
00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:49,124
Were we supposed to do something
and I forgot to write it down?
169
00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:52,323
I had the whole day free,
thought I'd stop by for a little chatty.
170
00:10:52,398 --> 00:10:54,025
Fatty, come on. I gotta sit.
171
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:57,331
So, are you hungry?
I brought some pain au chocolat.
172
00:10:57,403 --> 00:11:00,338
Thanks, but the only eating
I'm concerned with now is Brady.
173
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:03,933
- He doesn't seem to want to eat.
- Perhaps he's anorexic.
174
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:06,169
- Sorry, what?
- It's a dumb joke.
175
00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:08,372
- What was it?
- Anorexic.
176
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:14,617
No, I've been trying to feed him for an hour,
and he won't latch on...
177
00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:17,956
Stop, boring. What's up with you?
178
00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:24,661
I've been thinking about that thing
that Charlotte said in the coffee shop.
179
00:11:25,231 --> 00:11:27,096
About the great loves?
180
00:11:27,867 --> 00:11:29,232
Here we go.
181
00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:36,474
Maybe Aidan and Big
are my two great loves now.
182
00:11:39,312 --> 00:11:43,078
But that doesn't mean that
I'm always gonna feel that way about them.
183
00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:47,449
Come on, Brady. It's right here.
Okay, you don't want it? Fine.
184
00:11:47,653 --> 00:11:49,052
Here we go.
185
00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:53,289
There, in the middle of my two great loves...
186
00:11:53,359 --> 00:11:55,953
were Miranda's two great breasts.
187
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:59,055
- I'm sorry, what?
- Your breasts are huge.
188
00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:02,863
No, what were you saying about...
I can't even remember.
189
00:12:03,302 --> 00:12:05,202
This is so frustrating.
190
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:09,365
- He'll eat eventually.
- Not that. This is frustrating.
191
00:12:09,442 --> 00:12:13,242
I can't follow your thoughts.
It's all about nursing and nipples.
192
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:15,041
Sweetie, they're looking right at me.
193
00:12:15,114 --> 00:12:17,548
I am not gonna
become one of those mothers...
194
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:22,247
who cannot carry on an adult conversation.
I am not.
195
00:12:23,322 --> 00:12:27,281
Three weeks ago, I would've been listening
to you and saying funny things back.
196
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,488
Now I'm going, "What, what?"
I didn't even get the anorexic joke.
197
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:31,655
How easy was that?
198
00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:34,825
I'm just talking. Just "blah, blah."
It's just words.
199
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:38,302
They're not just words.
They're your words. And it's not just now.
200
00:12:38,371 --> 00:12:42,705
What about Samantha? Could she have
gotten me into that cab any faster?
201
00:12:44,343 --> 00:12:48,040
My friendships are important to me.
202
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:52,007
We're not going anywhere.
203
00:12:52,085 --> 00:12:54,519
I mean, maybe things
will have to change a little.
204
00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:56,282
- Fuck.
- I know.
205
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:00,150
But you're still one of us.
206
00:13:00,626 --> 00:13:03,561
Only now, you're the one
with the biggest boobs.
207
00:13:03,629 --> 00:13:08,066
- Can you believe the size of my nipples?
- Please, I was not at all prepared.
208
00:13:08,134 --> 00:13:11,695
I'm gonna have to go find
some sort of trauma counseling.
209
00:13:13,239 --> 00:13:14,399
There.
210
00:13:15,308 --> 00:13:16,900
We have contact.
211
00:13:19,812 --> 00:13:21,803
Okay, I'm gonna go.
212
00:13:22,615 --> 00:13:26,073
- I'll let you concentrate on Mr. Hobbes there.
- You don't have to go.
213
00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:28,143
I can listen now. I can do it.
214
00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:30,781
Miranda, you're a mother.
215
00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:37,128
- But it's okay. I won't tell anyone.
- Don't.
216
00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:40,461
What are you gonna do all day?
217
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:44,430
First a trip to the Guggenheim,
and then lunch, and then...
218
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:48,037
who knows? It's New York.
219
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:51,075
- Hot date with your city?
- Exactly. See that?
220
00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:55,274
You listened,
and we had the witty repartee. Bye.
221
00:13:55,348 --> 00:13:58,340
That same afternoon,
Charlotte felt like going to a movie.
222
00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:01,045
So she called
her afternoon movie friend, Anthony.
223
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,884
Carrie says that the French film at the Paris
is amazing.
224
00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,048
Fuck the French.
225
00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:07,991
Like I need to spend an afternoon
looking at that drippy shit.
226
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:09,493
- Good hat, though.
- Thanks.
227
00:14:09,562 --> 00:14:12,190
- What do you wanna see?
- Anything with Josh Hartnett.
228
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:15,792
- I don't know who that is.
- He's cute with a capital...
229
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:21,332
He totally checked you out.
You should go back and get his number.
230
00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:24,571
- He's a sailor.
- I know.
231
00:14:24,844 --> 00:14:27,938
- Go, hurry, he's getting away.
- I can't do that.
232
00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:29,743
You are so not gay.
233
00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:32,476
- What am I gonna do with him?
- Fuck him.
234
00:14:32,552 --> 00:14:35,578
Put him into that Park Avenue,
pink-shirt, flaccid-peepee mojo...
235
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:36,815
you've been dragging around.
236
00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:39,619
I'm not dragging anything around.
As a matter of fact...
237
00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:42,024
I changed my name back to "York"
on my mailbox.
238
00:14:42,094 --> 00:14:45,860
Good for you. Now maybe you should
be thinking about a different box.
239
00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:47,866
When's the last time you had sex?
240
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,164
If you have to think about it,
it's been too long.
241
00:14:50,236 --> 00:14:53,296
- When was the last time you...
- 10:30 today, at the gym.
242
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,168
I'm not looking for just sex.
I can have just sex.
243
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,278
I'm looking for my next great love.
244
00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:01,142
Don't let it hit that six-month mark...
245
00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:04,377
because after that it's just a sleigh ride
into menopause.
246
00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:08,318
I'm serious. If you don't put something
in there soon, it'll grow over.
247
00:15:08,821 --> 00:15:11,221
What is it with this frigging wind?
248
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,781
As Charlotte and Anthony made a left...
249
00:15:13,859 --> 00:15:17,625
Samantha found herself
in the right neighborhood.' Richard Wright's.
250
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,593
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
251
00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:21,566
One for you.
252
00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:36,939
Ma'am, it's against city law
to deface public property.
253
00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:39,114
This man said he loved me...
254
00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:41,813
and I caught him eating
another woman's pussy.
255
00:15:42,888 --> 00:15:44,355
Carry on, ma'am.
256
00:16:03,542 --> 00:16:06,636
New York weather, like a man,
can be unpredictable.
257
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,245
But that's part of the fun.
258
00:16:26,232 --> 00:16:30,430
And a New York Museum, like a man,
can sometimes be closed...
259
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:32,528
when you wish they were open.
260
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,128
That's another reason I love New York.
261
00:16:56,195 --> 00:17:00,154
Just like that, it can go from bad to cute.
262
00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:05,996
I guess we're not going anywhere
for a while.
263
00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:13,471
I love the way the rain smells.
264
00:17:14,013 --> 00:17:17,608
If this were a French movie,
we'd fall in love and get married.
265
00:17:21,087 --> 00:17:25,285
No, I was just pointing out
how romantic this would be in a movie.
266
00:17:25,825 --> 00:17:27,759
I don't wanna marry you.
267
00:17:29,261 --> 00:17:30,353
Okay, I do.
268
00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,922
No, come on, I'm kidding.
269
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,798
I mean, we just met. Let's wait five minutes.
270
00:17:39,505 --> 00:17:42,497
I don't even wanna get married.
I was engaged last year...
271
00:17:42,575 --> 00:17:44,907
and if I didn't wanna marry him, I...
272
00:17:52,318 --> 00:17:55,719
- Singles at the counter.
- I was hoping to get a table...
273
00:17:55,788 --> 00:17:58,052
Singles, counter. Two.
274
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:01,558
- Okay, thank you.
- Who's next?
275
00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:03,758
Several wet blocks later...
276
00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:07,693
I decided to warm up
with a bowl of New York matzo-ball soup.
277
00:18:09,301 --> 00:18:11,235
Come on, let's go!
278
00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:14,764
That manager's really a prick.
279
00:18:15,441 --> 00:18:17,932
I put up with it
because I come here all the time.
280
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:20,240
They know me. I live in the neighborhood.
281
00:18:20,312 --> 00:18:23,873
We single gals gotta have
a port in the storm. Am I right?
282
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,956
Lithium. I like to sprinkle it on my ice cream.
283
00:18:31,357 --> 00:18:33,621
- You ever try it?
- No.
284
00:18:34,493 --> 00:18:38,361
- Can't say that I have.
- What kind of mood elevator are you on?
285
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,192
- I'm not on one.
- Yeah?
286
00:18:43,035 --> 00:18:46,801
I used to be like you,
then I broke up with this guy.
287
00:18:46,872 --> 00:18:51,206
This was '82. Morty. Thought
somebody better would come along.
288
00:18:52,311 --> 00:18:53,835
Never happened.
289
00:18:58,284 --> 00:18:59,683
I love this!
290
00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:02,879
If Charlotte was right,
this woman's two great loves...
291
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:06,480
were a man named Morty,
and lithium-laced ice cream.
292
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:11,323
After 20 minutes squatting under
the coffee-shop hand dryer...
293
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:13,398
I realized I'd been kidding myself.
294
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:16,367
New York and I didn't have
the perfect relationship.
295
00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:18,330
All right!
296
00:19:19,171 --> 00:19:23,505
It was dismissive, abusive,
and it made me feel desperate.
297
00:19:24,643 --> 00:19:27,635
I was now fresh out of great loves.
298
00:19:30,683 --> 00:19:31,980
Hey, sir...
299
00:19:37,356 --> 00:19:38,618
Thank you.
300
00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:41,682
Should I?
301
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,969
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Louis Leroy.
302
00:19:52,505 --> 00:19:54,234
This is Bill Hope and Paul Watkins...
303
00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:56,706
and we'd like to invite you
to a Navy party tonight.
304
00:19:56,775 --> 00:20:00,074
- Feel free to bring some girlfriends.
- Yeah, feel very free.
305
00:20:07,286 --> 00:20:10,050
I don't know why I was fighting it.
This is gonna be fun.
306
00:20:10,122 --> 00:20:13,319
Exactly what we needed.
Three single gals back on the town.
307
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,383
What's the longest
you've gone without sex?
308
00:20:15,461 --> 00:20:18,089
You don't get that info
without dinner and a drink.
309
00:20:18,163 --> 00:20:21,098
- Next week will make it six months.
- Watch it.
310
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:23,760
Thanks. You threw me,
and I lost my concentration.
311
00:20:23,903 --> 00:20:26,371
I am gonna have sex with a sailor tonight.
312
00:20:26,906 --> 00:20:29,238
- She almost got me on that one.
- I'm serious.
313
00:20:29,308 --> 00:20:32,243
I have to have sex
to put Mrs. Trey MacDougal behind me.
314
00:20:32,311 --> 00:20:35,610
- I'm a whole new Charlotte York.
- What about the great love?
315
00:20:35,714 --> 00:20:37,409
Maybe that was bullshit.
316
00:20:37,716 --> 00:20:38,808
Gotcha!
317
00:20:42,755 --> 00:20:45,656
- How are we gonna find your sailor?
- We'll find him.
318
00:21:00,306 --> 00:21:02,672
God bless America!
319
00:21:06,712 --> 00:21:09,977
The important thing is to stick together,
or we'll get lost.
320
00:21:20,826 --> 00:21:21,918
Very good.
321
00:21:22,861 --> 00:21:27,821
And uptown, another woman found herself
in a confusing navel situation.
322
00:21:28,901 --> 00:21:30,425
Look, Brady.
323
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:33,495
There's your bellybutton.
324
00:21:40,145 --> 00:21:41,442
Help me!
325
00:21:43,949 --> 00:21:46,213
Twenty freaked-out minutes later...
326
00:21:46,285 --> 00:21:49,652
I can't do this.
I'm prepared for the expected...
327
00:21:49,722 --> 00:21:53,283
but I'm not prepared for the unexpected.
I can't schedule shit like this.
328
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,886
And the people that you hire won't help you
with shit like this.
329
00:21:57,029 --> 00:21:58,394
Where's the cat?
330
00:22:00,199 --> 00:22:02,963
God, Steve, it's gross. Help me, it's gross.
331
00:22:03,268 --> 00:22:05,293
Relax, I'll give you a hand.
332
00:22:06,805 --> 00:22:08,898
He may not be a core-shaker...
333
00:22:08,974 --> 00:22:11,943
but Steve was there
when she was shaken to the core.
334
00:22:30,863 --> 00:22:32,626
You looking for someone?
335
00:22:33,165 --> 00:22:34,530
My girlfriends.
336
00:22:34,867 --> 00:22:38,030
This party's like the Bermuda Triangle
for women.
337
00:22:38,737 --> 00:22:40,568
That's a little sailor joke.
338
00:22:41,006 --> 00:22:42,234
You're funny.
339
00:22:43,409 --> 00:22:45,138
You remind me of my mom.
340
00:22:45,811 --> 00:22:46,835
Bye-bye.
341
00:22:50,849 --> 00:22:53,943
- Evening, miss.
- Ahoy, matey.
342
00:22:55,454 --> 00:22:57,046
Nice dickey.
343
00:22:59,658 --> 00:23:02,252
Meanwhile, I still had not found Charlotte...
344
00:23:02,428 --> 00:23:06,091
but Charlotte had found an officer
who wasn't a gentleman.
345
00:23:06,532 --> 00:23:07,931
Show me your tits?
346
00:23:09,368 --> 00:23:11,859
I can't do that. I barely know you.
347
00:23:12,337 --> 00:23:14,965
Okay, then just show me one.
348
00:23:16,809 --> 00:23:17,833
It's an order.
349
00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:20,344
The old Charlotte
would've had him court-martialed.
350
00:23:20,412 --> 00:23:21,845
But the new Charlotte...
351
00:23:21,914 --> 00:23:23,279
Well, Officer...
352
00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:24,707
...had a deadline.
353
00:23:24,783 --> 00:23:26,273
...if it's an order.
354
00:23:29,788 --> 00:23:32,256
- Oh, Jesus!
- Carrie!
355
00:23:32,324 --> 00:23:36,090
- I was just looking for you, I didn't...
- No. This is Officer Matt Cook.
356
00:23:36,161 --> 00:23:37,628
I'll see you later.
357
00:23:39,998 --> 00:23:42,057
I can't do this. Let's just talk.
358
00:23:45,971 --> 00:23:47,404
It's your call, ma'am.
359
00:23:47,473 --> 00:23:51,807
Turns out Charlotte was caught
somewhere between the old and new York.
360
00:23:52,377 --> 00:23:55,210
But she figured showing her boob
to a relative stranger...
361
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,305
bought her another three months.
362
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,645
There you are! Where's Charlotte?
363
00:24:03,756 --> 00:24:07,351
Believe it or not,
she's involved in a little peepshow upstairs.
364
00:24:07,426 --> 00:24:10,953
I'm really starting to have
a newfound respect for that girl.
365
00:24:11,029 --> 00:24:13,497
What is it about today?
I've seen Miranda's boobs...
366
00:24:13,565 --> 00:24:15,089
I've seen Charlotte's boob.
367
00:24:15,167 --> 00:24:17,897
Why not just show me yours
and get it over with?
368
00:24:24,009 --> 00:24:25,306
I was kidding.
369
00:24:25,377 --> 00:24:27,402
I wasn't. That ought to hook me a sailor.
370
00:24:27,479 --> 00:24:30,414
Yeah, it'll Tailhook you one.
Look, I'm going.
371
00:24:32,584 --> 00:24:35,052
I was right. This ship has sailed.
372
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,850
And tragically, I'm still on it.
373
00:24:38,357 --> 00:24:42,316
Good night.
Keep an eye on Boom-Boom up there.
374
00:24:47,232 --> 00:24:50,861
- Hey, there. You came.
- Yes, I came, I saw...
375
00:24:51,603 --> 00:24:52,592
I'm leaving.
376
00:24:52,671 --> 00:24:57,040
Come on, I've come all the way from
Louisiana to dance with a New York city girl.
377
00:24:58,076 --> 00:24:59,543
I'm a good dancer.
378
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:10,880
Even though she was floating
in a sea of dickeys...
379
00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:14,146
1 new message and 12 saved messages.
380
00:26:14,219 --> 00:26:16,653
...Samantha could only think about Richard.
381
00:26:16,722 --> 00:26:19,623
You threw a drink in my face
and papered my neighborhood.
382
00:26:19,691 --> 00:26:22,660
Would I still be calling
if I didn't really love you?
383
00:26:22,861 --> 00:26:25,421
I love you, gorgeous.
Give me another chance.
384
00:26:30,135 --> 00:26:33,434
You threw a drink in my face
and papered my neighborhood.
385
00:26:33,505 --> 00:26:35,939
Would I still be calling
if I didn't really love you?
386
00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:45,782
Say, Louis from Louisiana...
387
00:26:47,152 --> 00:26:50,349
how many great loves
do you think you get in a lifetime?
388
00:26:51,356 --> 00:26:52,516
Great loves?
389
00:26:52,658 --> 00:26:54,819
That is the question on deck.
390
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:03,832
Maybe one, if you're lucky.
391
00:27:15,314 --> 00:27:16,713
I'm glad I stayed.
392
00:27:17,449 --> 00:27:21,010
After the way this city kicked my ass today,
I needed that dance.
393
00:27:21,653 --> 00:27:24,520
I have to say,
this is my first trip to New York.
394
00:27:25,190 --> 00:27:26,452
Not for me.
395
00:27:27,492 --> 00:27:31,189
I mean, the garbage, the noise,
I don't know how you put up with it.
396
00:27:40,105 --> 00:27:41,094
Thanks.
397
00:27:41,907 --> 00:27:43,033
Good night.
398
00:27:46,778 --> 00:27:47,870
Wait.
399
00:27:49,681 --> 00:27:51,410
Going home all alone?
400
00:27:52,084 --> 00:27:53,574
It's rough out there.
401
00:27:54,453 --> 00:27:55,784
It isn't so bad.
402
00:28:00,625 --> 00:28:04,493
If Louis was right,
and you only get one great love...
403
00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:07,421
New York may just be mine.
404
00:28:08,567 --> 00:28:11,661
And I can't have nobody talking shit
about my boyfriend.
405
00:28:13,005 --> 00:28:14,700
A short while later, I had a thought.
406
00:28:14,773 --> 00:28:15,762
Taxi!
407
00:28:15,841 --> 00:28:19,538
Maybe the past is like an anchor
holding us back.
408
00:28:20,312 --> 00:28:23,247
Maybe you have to let go of who you were...
409
00:28:25,917 --> 00:28:28,408
to become who you will be.
410
00:29:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000
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