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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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A girl in pigtails once said,
"There's no place like home."
2
00:00:55,635 --> 00:00:59,332
But then her home didn't have a toilet
that flushed for no reason...
3
00:01:02,576 --> 00:01:05,977
and a boyfriend who was moving out
for one big reason.
4
00:01:11,151 --> 00:01:12,743
That's the last of it.
5
00:01:17,557 --> 00:01:19,081
Okay.
6
00:01:21,027 --> 00:01:22,654
You want me to fix that?
7
00:01:22,729 --> 00:01:25,721
No, it's okay.
I can get someone to come and fix it.
8
00:01:28,268 --> 00:01:30,634
Just let me get in there for a second.
9
00:01:36,343 --> 00:01:39,779
Hold the ball cock.
This thing right here.
10
00:01:41,581 --> 00:01:42,980
Right there.
11
00:01:47,554 --> 00:01:49,317
That should do it.
12
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:53,255
I should go.
13
00:01:57,397 --> 00:01:58,864
You can't leave.
14
00:01:59,933 --> 00:02:02,800
Our last words to each other
can't be "ball cock."
15
00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:07,465
You should definitely stay...
16
00:02:09,042 --> 00:02:11,067
at least for another day.
17
00:02:11,945 --> 00:02:15,437
- Or forever.
- We've been through this.
18
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:18,779
I can't.
19
00:02:22,222 --> 00:02:23,450
Are you sure?
20
00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:25,950
I am.
21
00:02:28,962 --> 00:02:30,156
Aidan...
22
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:36,766
this is difficult to say.
23
00:02:39,906 --> 00:02:43,808
I left the ring on the clown table.
24
00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:45,834
That's yours.
25
00:02:45,912 --> 00:02:50,110
No, I should never have accepted it
in the first place. I'm sorry.
26
00:02:51,318 --> 00:02:54,310
- Please take the ring.
- I want you to have it.
27
00:02:54,387 --> 00:02:58,221
Please take it. If you do or say...
28
00:03:00,994 --> 00:03:02,621
one more nice thing...
29
00:03:08,168 --> 00:03:09,396
I got to go.
30
00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:12,028
I can't watch you leave,
so I think I am gonna...
31
00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:15,597
I'm better... I'm gonna stand here.
Could you just...
32
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:18,507
Could you just shut the door?
33
00:03:20,146 --> 00:03:21,238
I know.
34
00:03:22,516 --> 00:03:23,540
Go.
35
00:03:42,235 --> 00:03:46,103
Three hours later,
I peeled myself off the bathroom floor.
36
00:03:56,249 --> 00:04:00,345
Apparently, there were things
that were difficult for Aidan to say, as well.
37
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:12,689
I curled up
to read Aidan's last words to me...
38
00:04:12,966 --> 00:04:15,560
also known as the good-bye letter.
39
00:04:26,846 --> 00:04:29,713
- Aidan's evicting her?
- He's not evicting her.
40
00:04:29,783 --> 00:04:32,513
He's giving her 30 days
to decide what she wants to do.
41
00:04:32,586 --> 00:04:35,453
- That's just tacky.
- Look, life gets complicated.
42
00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:38,616
Steve and I are drawing up papers
to timeshare our kid.
43
00:04:38,692 --> 00:04:41,855
Great love stories are supposed to end
with tragedy and tears...
44
00:04:41,928 --> 00:04:45,193
not papers from the law firm
of Gold and Vogel.
45
00:04:45,265 --> 00:04:48,723
This is more than fair.
He's asking you to buy your apartment...
46
00:04:48,802 --> 00:04:52,238
for the exact price he paid,
or you can vacate and he'll sell it.
47
00:04:52,305 --> 00:04:55,035
Vacate? I'm homeless.
48
00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:57,372
I'll be a bag lady, a Fendi bag lady.
49
00:04:57,444 --> 00:04:59,412
You should think of buying your place.
50
00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:02,778
I am not a buyer. New York is
a town of renters. Everybody rents.
51
00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:04,282
- I don't.
- I don't.
52
00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:06,546
- I don't.
- You got yours in the settlement.
53
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,611
You did not have to pay for it.
54
00:05:08,688 --> 00:05:11,179
I paid for that apartment.
55
00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:15,886
I'm pregnant. I can't control it.
56
00:05:15,962 --> 00:05:19,693
Honey, you better learn,
because that is unappetizing.
57
00:05:19,766 --> 00:05:23,258
I know. I am so swollen and gassy.
58
00:05:23,336 --> 00:05:25,133
I am like a flotation device.
59
00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:28,072
I'll get this one,
and I don't want a fight out of you.
60
00:05:28,141 --> 00:05:30,575
Save it for your down payment.
61
00:05:32,412 --> 00:05:35,313
Excuse me! You bought the Chanel wallet?
62
00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:37,509
No, Richard gave it to me as a gift.
63
00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:39,984
- Nice. What was the occasion?
- No occasion.
64
00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:42,146
- He is in love with you.
- He is not.
65
00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:44,486
- You don't know that.
- I do.
66
00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:47,084
Take a look at the card.
67
00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:51,058
"Style for style. Best, Richard."
68
00:05:51,131 --> 00:05:53,599
- "Best." Yikes.
- "Best" is the worst.
69
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,794
Even Gold and Vogel give you "sincerely."
70
00:05:55,869 --> 00:05:57,598
"Best" is like signing "Not love."
71
00:05:57,671 --> 00:06:00,902
It's the thought that counts.
He bought you something you'd love.
72
00:06:00,974 --> 00:06:03,534
He's a pretty generous guy with money.
73
00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:07,307
- Aidan wanted me to keep the ring.
- You did, didn't you?
74
00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,740
- Honey, you're a fool.
- No.
75
00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:14,053
It was the right thing to do.
76
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:18,287
- Do you ever think about giving yours back?
- No, I love that ring.
77
00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:22,818
I couldn't keep it. Every time I looked at it,
it would break my heart.
78
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:28,925
This ring is worth a lot.
79
00:06:29,002 --> 00:06:31,994
Tiffany. 2.17 carats, platinum setting.
80
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:36,508
Beautiful cut, very few inclusions.
So, what do you want to do with it?
81
00:06:36,843 --> 00:06:39,778
I was thinking
maybe I'd turn it into a necklace.
82
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:43,873
A floating diamond necklace
would be to die. Very now.
83
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:47,681
- So, a lot of people do this.
- These were my baguettes.
84
00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:50,754
Because it turned out
my husband was a faggot...
85
00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:53,349
now they're earrings. But he had good taste.
86
00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:57,552
- So, a necklace?
- I'm not sure.
87
00:06:57,630 --> 00:07:00,599
Maybe a pendant.
We can melt down the platinum setting...
88
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:04,159
- and turn it into spectacular earrings.
- Melt it down?
89
00:07:05,905 --> 00:07:10,069
There, in the wedding band boneyard,
Charlotte started to melt down.
90
00:07:10,143 --> 00:07:12,577
I don't think I'm ready for this.
91
00:07:12,946 --> 00:07:15,938
Just don't take it to the gypsies next door.
92
00:07:19,753 --> 00:07:24,213
Okay. Let's look at your assets
here at the bank.
93
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,555
You may be able to use them
as collateral for the loan.
94
00:07:27,627 --> 00:07:29,094
Linda, Line 1.
95
00:07:29,796 --> 00:07:33,755
It says here that you have
$700 in your checking account.
96
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,858
I just paid my credit card bill.
97
00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:37,596
And...
98
00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:40,702
$957 in savings.
99
00:07:43,143 --> 00:07:45,134
Look, Linda.
100
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:49,746
You're single, right?
I'm sure you can appreciate my problem.
101
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:55,252
I just broke up with my fianc�,
which, trust me, is traumatic enough...
102
00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:56,879
Linda, Line 2.
103
00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:58,981
And now I have...
104
00:07:59,058 --> 00:08:02,550
twenty-five days
to either find the money to buy my place...
105
00:08:02,996 --> 00:08:04,896
or I am out on the street.
106
00:08:05,598 --> 00:08:09,932
Do you have any other income,
besides the column?
107
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:11,027
No.
108
00:08:11,104 --> 00:08:15,404
But I was chosen as New York magazine's
best pick for city columnist.
109
00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:17,500
I was the pick over Pete Hamill.
110
00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:20,045
What about your assets outside the bank?
111
00:08:20,446 --> 00:08:23,938
- Property, stocks, bonds?
- No.
112
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:27,217
I'm sorry, Ms. Bradshaw...
113
00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:31,052
but you are not a desirable candidate...
114
00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:32,822
for a loan.
115
00:08:37,297 --> 00:08:40,528
After assessing what little assets I had...
116
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,899
I realized I would have to change
my lifestyle.
117
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,803
Excuse me, could you tell me
how much the bus is?
118
00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:48,170
$1.50.
119
00:08:48,308 --> 00:08:50,708
Really? Wow.
120
00:08:50,777 --> 00:08:53,541
Last time I took the bus, it was like 75 cents.
121
00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,943
You know, for $3 more,
you could take a cab.
122
00:09:01,721 --> 00:09:03,518
For crying out loud.
123
00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:07,385
Why do you have to take the bus
if you're on the bus?
124
00:09:08,428 --> 00:09:10,293
My thoughts exactly.
125
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:15,897
So here I was, a 35-year-old single woman
with no financial security...
126
00:09:15,969 --> 00:09:18,460
but many life experiences behind me.
127
00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:20,070
Did that mean nothing?
128
00:09:20,273 --> 00:09:24,107
After all, heartbreak and breakups
are the hardest kind of work.
129
00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:27,403
So shouldn't there be
some sort of credit for enduring them?
130
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,449
And if not, how do you retain
a sense of value...
131
00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:33,212
when you have nothing concrete
to show for it?
132
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:37,689
Because at the end
of yet another failed relationship...
133
00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:41,118
when all you have
are war wounds and self doubt...
134
00:09:41,494 --> 00:09:44,986
you have to wonder, what's it all worth?
135
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,960
Let me just say again, I love your gallery...
136
00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:53,472
so if there are ever any openings,
you have my r�sum�.
137
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,039
Meanwhile, a woman
with far fewer financial worries...
138
00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:59,374
was also contemplating her worth.
139
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:19,827
Charlotte knew the ring didn't mean
as much, now that she wasn't with Trey.
140
00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,700
But on that particularly low Thursday...
141
00:10:24,637 --> 00:10:28,073
she put on her 2. 17-carat diamond...
142
00:10:28,141 --> 00:10:32,237
and wandered around
her 2. 17-carat Park Avenue apartment.
143
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:44,416
That night, at Richard's...
144
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:48,793
- Another gift. Are you trying to spoil me?
- That's the plan.
145
00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:52,494
- La Petite Coquette, my favorite.
- I know. I pay attention.
146
00:10:52,565 --> 00:10:54,795
Wait a minute. There's a card.
147
00:10:56,602 --> 00:10:57,967
The card.
148
00:10:59,772 --> 00:11:02,741
"Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard."
149
00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:06,512
Why don't you slip into that,
while I pour us some Cristal?
150
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:08,547
I'll do my very best.
151
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:14,283
Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.
152
00:11:15,621 --> 00:11:19,557
This is torture. Why are you
doing this to me? I can't buy shoes.
153
00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:22,389
I have to buy shoes.
None of my old ones fit.
154
00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:24,089
Even my feet are fat.
155
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,892
- These are pretty.
- I'm looking for comfortable.
156
00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:28,831
Then I'll try these for you.
157
00:11:29,002 --> 00:11:32,665
Excuse me, sir, could I try these, please,
in a seven-and-a-half?
158
00:11:34,073 --> 00:11:35,506
And these.
159
00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:39,074
I guess, just all of these.
160
00:11:39,145 --> 00:11:42,808
But, sir, no matter what happens
in the next 20 minutes...
161
00:11:42,882 --> 00:11:45,407
under no circumstances am I to buy these.
162
00:11:45,785 --> 00:11:48,982
- I'm just trying them on for fun.
- How fun for me.
163
00:11:50,723 --> 00:11:52,315
Could I try these in a nine?
164
00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:53,620
- Sure.
- Thanks.
165
00:11:57,730 --> 00:12:00,494
- What is that smell?
- Sorry.
166
00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:03,797
I've learned to control the sound now,
but not the activity.
167
00:12:03,870 --> 00:12:05,804
That's just mean.
168
00:12:06,539 --> 00:12:07,528
Damn!
169
00:12:07,907 --> 00:12:10,375
How'll people know to scatter
without a warning?
170
00:12:10,443 --> 00:12:13,810
Although, maybe
it's not that I control the noise...
171
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,577
as much as my ass is so big
the sound is now muffled.
172
00:12:18,051 --> 00:12:21,612
Look at my fingers. They're like sausages.
I can't even get my ring off.
173
00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:25,714
I'm telling you, the fat ass,
the farting, it's ridiculous.
174
00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:27,521
I am unfuckable...
175
00:12:27,593 --> 00:12:30,653
and I have never been so horny
in my entire life.
176
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:32,561
- Really?
- Yeah.
177
00:12:32,632 --> 00:12:35,157
That's why you should be married
while pregnant...
178
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:38,260
so somebody is obligated
to have sex with you.
179
00:12:39,872 --> 00:12:42,932
- I'm an undesirable.
- No. I am.
180
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:48,174
The lady at the bank said
I was an unattractive candidate for a loan.
181
00:12:48,748 --> 00:12:51,581
Where did all my money go?
I know I've made some.
182
00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:56,050
At $400 a pop,
how many of these do you have?
183
00:12:56,122 --> 00:12:58,522
- Fifty?
- Come on.
184
00:12:58,724 --> 00:13:01,955
- A hundred?
- Would that be wrong?
185
00:13:02,028 --> 00:13:04,622
100 times 400, there's your down payment.
186
00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,755
That's only $4,000.
187
00:13:07,066 --> 00:13:08,795
No, it's $40,000.
188
00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:12,067
I spent...
189
00:13:12,271 --> 00:13:15,035
$40,000 on shoes...
190
00:13:15,108 --> 00:13:17,269
and I have no place to live?
191
00:13:18,945 --> 00:13:22,676
I will literally be the old woman
who lived in her shoes.
192
00:13:27,553 --> 00:13:31,580
I pulled my own finger.
I'm a walking whoopie cushion.
193
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:36,059
When a girl gets backed up against a wall
she can't afford...
194
00:13:36,129 --> 00:13:38,290
she has to consider renting others.
195
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:40,964
That's the closet?
196
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,131
Where do the shoes go?
197
00:13:43,302 --> 00:13:46,100
You get one of those racks
that hang on the door.
198
00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:50,369
I'll hang myself on a door
if I have to live here.
199
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,841
Do I smell curry?
200
00:13:56,048 --> 00:13:58,448
There's an Indian restaurant downstairs.
201
00:13:59,785 --> 00:14:01,776
Delia, I ask you...
202
00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:06,149
how can this apartment be $2,800 a month?
203
00:14:06,225 --> 00:14:08,819
I pay $750 for something
that's twice the size.
204
00:14:08,895 --> 00:14:12,194
- It don't smell like takeout.
- You have a rent-controlled apartment.
205
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:14,028
I suggest you stay there.
206
00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:17,768
Unfortunately, that's really not an option.
207
00:14:19,138 --> 00:14:21,800
What other shit holes
are you showing me today?
208
00:14:22,008 --> 00:14:25,603
I have to be honest.
With your attitude and price limitations...
209
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:28,806
I think you should consider Weehawken.
210
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:32,644
Get back to me when the numbers are in.
211
00:14:34,453 --> 00:14:38,150
Look at you, all dressed up.
Applying for a job here?
212
00:14:38,224 --> 00:14:40,784
So this is where you work.
213
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:44,552
It's cute. It's smaller than I expected.
214
00:14:45,031 --> 00:14:49,331
I always imagined rows and rows
of blondes in tight sweaters, typing.
215
00:14:49,435 --> 00:14:51,062
They're at lunch.
216
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:54,771
I am here in an official capacity.
217
00:14:55,775 --> 00:14:59,267
- Aren't you going to ask me to sit down?
- By all means. Pick a chair.
218
00:15:00,213 --> 00:15:02,408
Faced with the prospect of Weehawken...
219
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:05,507
I decided it was time to call in the big guns.
220
00:15:05,585 --> 00:15:09,077
Now, what can I do for you?
221
00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:13,650
I once read that you took something like
$3 million and leveraged it...
222
00:15:13,726 --> 00:15:17,218
to build a $100 million building.
How did you do that?
223
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:21,065
- What's going on?
- I want to buy my apartment...
224
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:23,031
but I have no money.
225
00:15:26,439 --> 00:15:28,168
I'm worth nothing.
226
00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:32,366
You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw.
227
00:15:32,612 --> 00:15:34,807
Maybe you should go work at a bank.
228
00:15:38,050 --> 00:15:39,881
Aidan and I broke up.
229
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:45,089
So it's not just money troubles.
230
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:50,525
- Why didn't you call me?
- I got enough troubles.
231
00:15:52,698 --> 00:15:54,188
What happened?
232
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:57,596
Apparently, you were right,
I am not the marrying kind.
233
00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,964
Or the timing wasn't right.
234
00:16:01,173 --> 00:16:03,232
You're going to be okay, kid.
235
00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:08,377
So I need money. You know money.
236
00:16:08,781 --> 00:16:11,716
I need to know what you know about money.
237
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:13,412
Simple.
238
00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:17,256
I'll tell you how to get the money.
239
00:16:17,456 --> 00:16:20,357
Big offered me the money
for my down payment.
240
00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:22,155
But I could never take it.
241
00:16:25,798 --> 00:16:27,766
- Could I?
- You couldn't.
242
00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:30,324
He just gave you $30,000?
243
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,428
As a loan. I would pay him back.
244
00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:33,767
Take the money.
245
00:16:33,839 --> 00:16:36,330
When a man gives you money,
you give him control.
246
00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:40,106
It's just money. Man, woman, who cares?
It's fluid.
247
00:16:40,179 --> 00:16:43,239
Someone needs it, you give it.
You need it, you take it.
248
00:16:43,316 --> 00:16:46,774
I'm uncomfortable with this.
We shouldn't be talking about money.
249
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,581
Why? We talk about everything else.
250
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:50,554
People are funny about money.
251
00:16:50,623 --> 00:16:53,786
Like Richard,
he's happy to buy me gifts, but...
252
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:54,985
Still no "love"?
253
00:16:55,061 --> 00:16:58,827
No, but he continues to send his best.
254
00:16:59,632 --> 00:17:02,499
Don't cash Big's check.
I'll loan you the money.
255
00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:05,395
You're about to have a baby.
I can't take your money.
256
00:17:05,671 --> 00:17:09,402
- And furthermore, do you have that much?
- I have about half that.
257
00:17:10,142 --> 00:17:13,634
- What? Does no one else shoe shop?
- I could loan you the rest.
258
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:15,536
Look...
259
00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:19,051
that is really...
260
00:17:19,118 --> 00:17:21,052
sweet of you two to offer.
261
00:17:24,523 --> 00:17:26,457
It's really sweet.
262
00:17:26,959 --> 00:17:28,824
But I'm gonna do this on my own.
263
00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:36,458
So I can't tape it back.
264
00:17:37,002 --> 00:17:38,594
I have news.
265
00:17:39,238 --> 00:17:43,334
Looks like I have gotten a job as a docent
at the Museum of Modern Art.
266
00:17:44,009 --> 00:17:45,874
What does that pay? I can docent.
267
00:17:45,945 --> 00:17:49,938
It's a volunteer job,
but they're very coveted positions.
268
00:17:51,384 --> 00:17:53,079
You come back.
269
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,318
I have no fortune.
270
00:18:02,495 --> 00:18:04,861
I didn't need a cookie to tell me that.
271
00:18:06,732 --> 00:18:09,098
These fans only cost $1.
272
00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:12,501
I'm going to save a lot of money
on air conditioning.
273
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,035
You okay?
274
00:18:19,178 --> 00:18:21,009
No apartment and no Aidan.
275
00:18:25,184 --> 00:18:27,084
It's been a rough two weeks.
276
00:18:31,857 --> 00:18:34,451
Just give me a block. I'm going to be fine.
277
00:18:43,636 --> 00:18:48,198
As I thought about leaving the apartment
that I had lived in for the past decade...
278
00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:50,401
I realized how much I would miss it.
279
00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:52,967
Through everything,
it had always been there for me.
280
00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:56,208
And suddenly, I was irrationally angry...
281
00:18:57,049 --> 00:19:01,179
and I knew just where and who
to take it irrationally out on.
282
00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:04,546
Hi. What are you doing here?
283
00:19:04,623 --> 00:19:06,614
I was just in the neighborhood.
284
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:09,025
Come on in.
285
00:19:09,495 --> 00:19:11,690
You want some iced tea or something?
286
00:19:12,231 --> 00:19:14,358
Why didn't you offer me the money?
287
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:17,861
- I knew you were going to say that.
- I wouldn't take it.
288
00:19:17,937 --> 00:19:21,429
- Then what does it matter if I offer it or not?
- Because...
289
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,801
I would have offered it to you.
290
00:19:24,009 --> 00:19:27,501
- You're my friend.
- Money and friendship don't mix.
291
00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:30,577
My father and his friend Paul
were never the same...
292
00:19:30,649 --> 00:19:34,779
We're not talking about your father
and his friend Paul.
293
00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:38,849
We're talking about you and your friend, me.
294
00:19:38,924 --> 00:19:41,586
And for the record, I am aware...
295
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:46,120
that I have some financial messiness
that I have to clean up, and to that end...
296
00:19:46,365 --> 00:19:48,799
I am looking into
some freelance magazine work.
297
00:19:48,868 --> 00:19:51,894
I have been offered $4 a word at Vogue.
That is a lot.
298
00:19:52,271 --> 00:19:53,863
Most people get $2.
299
00:19:54,473 --> 00:19:58,068
So, yes, I have made some mistakes,
and, Charlotte...
300
00:19:58,577 --> 00:20:02,843
you have made some mistakes.
When you were making those mistakes...
301
00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:05,907
I was sitting across from you
at the coffee shop...
302
00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:09,113
nodding and listening and supporting you.
303
00:20:09,188 --> 00:20:12,521
I was not sitting at a Chinese restaurant...
304
00:20:12,591 --> 00:20:16,357
turning away when you should have been
looking at me.
305
00:20:16,595 --> 00:20:20,087
And what kills me is,
you don't even have to work.
306
00:20:20,165 --> 00:20:21,928
You're volunteering.
307
00:20:26,906 --> 00:20:28,237
I love you.
308
00:20:28,841 --> 00:20:32,834
But it's not my job to fix your finances.
309
00:20:33,846 --> 00:20:36,440
You're a 35-year-old woman.
310
00:20:36,515 --> 00:20:39,382
You need to learn to stand on your own.
311
00:20:42,321 --> 00:20:44,482
What is that on your finger?
312
00:20:45,824 --> 00:20:49,260
I just wear it when I'm alone in my house.
313
00:20:49,395 --> 00:20:51,625
And you're telling me
to be more independent?
314
00:20:51,697 --> 00:20:54,461
It's my ring. I can wear it if I want to.
315
00:20:54,533 --> 00:20:56,899
And so what if it makes me feel better?
316
00:20:56,969 --> 00:21:02,032
And for the record, the only reason
I'm volunteering is, no one will hire me.
317
00:21:02,374 --> 00:21:04,274
I've called seven galleries.
318
00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:07,904
Apparently, I have too much experience.
319
00:21:10,749 --> 00:21:15,777
You're right. It's your ring, your business.
I got all worked up on the walk over here.
320
00:21:15,854 --> 00:21:20,291
- You walked?
- No, I took a $5 cab ride, seven blocks.
321
00:21:20,826 --> 00:21:23,852
These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them.
322
00:21:25,497 --> 00:21:27,727
I am in a financial cul-de-sac.
323
00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:30,769
But I'm going to take the bus.
324
00:21:31,804 --> 00:21:33,772
I just hope I'm not on it.
325
00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:40,003
Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury...
326
00:21:43,048 --> 00:21:46,108
It's okay.
I'm Richard's assistant, and I'm gay.
327
00:21:46,185 --> 00:21:48,710
Okay. Turn around and give a girl a moment.
328
00:21:49,088 --> 00:21:52,080
I'm Roger, and you
weren't supposed to be here.
329
00:21:52,157 --> 00:21:55,217
Richard left, and I decided
to take a nice relaxing bath...
330
00:21:55,294 --> 00:21:57,125
but now that's shot to shit.
331
00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:00,092
Okay. Decent.
332
00:22:00,633 --> 00:22:04,626
I am so sorry, but if it's any consolation...
333
00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:06,835
- wow!
- Pilates.
334
00:22:07,172 --> 00:22:11,302
So, why haven't I seen you
around the office?
335
00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:16,144
He has three assistants. I run his errands.
336
00:22:16,515 --> 00:22:18,005
His errands!
337
00:22:19,385 --> 00:22:21,876
Is that an errand gift-wrapped on the bed?
338
00:22:26,492 --> 00:22:29,325
All right. I'm his personal shopper.
339
00:22:29,928 --> 00:22:32,488
- He's a very busy man.
- I'll bet.
340
00:22:33,599 --> 00:22:37,091
Exactly how many women
are you buying gifts for?
341
00:22:37,302 --> 00:22:39,600
- What do you mean?
- You've seen my bush.
342
00:22:39,672 --> 00:22:41,663
We're a little past acting coy.
343
00:22:42,107 --> 00:22:44,905
Since you came into the picture, a lot less.
344
00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:47,274
And he's never sent me to Chanel before.
345
00:22:47,346 --> 00:22:49,837
That was fun. Great wallet.
346
00:22:50,015 --> 00:22:54,349
- It also came in red, but I couldn't decide...
- Richard didn't pick out any gifts?
347
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:55,944
Technically, no.
348
00:22:56,088 --> 00:23:00,684
- But he really likes you. I can tell.
- Yeah, he thinks I'm the best.
349
00:23:01,527 --> 00:23:03,893
Wait, the cards.
350
00:23:04,029 --> 00:23:06,657
"Style for style"? "Sexy for sexy"?
351
00:23:08,534 --> 00:23:10,263
"Me for you."
352
00:23:11,203 --> 00:23:12,761
Please, don't have me fired.
353
00:23:12,838 --> 00:23:15,966
I'll tell you what. I'll pretend you don't exist.
354
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,805
- Thank you.
- If you do one thing for me.
355
00:23:26,752 --> 00:23:28,219
I thought you'd like it.
356
00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:29,953
You did?
357
00:23:32,424 --> 00:23:34,255
I forgot the card.
358
00:23:37,463 --> 00:23:39,522
"Gorgeous for gorgeous.
359
00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:41,566
"Love, Richard."
360
00:23:52,711 --> 00:23:54,440
I love you, Samantha.
361
00:23:55,581 --> 00:23:57,572
- I do.
- You do?
362
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,351
And I love...
363
00:24:04,957 --> 00:24:06,083
this.
364
00:24:07,259 --> 00:24:09,523
Samantha could have said, "I love you."
365
00:24:09,595 --> 00:24:12,257
But she was afraid
it would cost her too much.
366
00:24:12,331 --> 00:24:14,356
So she did what she did best.
367
00:24:17,336 --> 00:24:19,998
So every other Saturday...
368
00:24:20,072 --> 00:24:22,302
and Wednesday at 5:00 p.m., you take him.
369
00:24:22,374 --> 00:24:26,276
- I was thinking 4:57 p.m. Would be better.
- You think this is stupid.
370
00:24:26,512 --> 00:24:31,211
No, I just was thinking
that things are going to get off-schedule.
371
00:24:32,084 --> 00:24:34,416
We're talking about a kid, not a train.
372
00:24:34,753 --> 00:24:38,917
I'd offer to do that for you,
but I don't think it's in the contract.
373
00:24:39,224 --> 00:24:43,627
Don't give me a hard time.
I could fart you into oblivion right now.
374
00:24:49,835 --> 00:24:51,564
That feels so great.
375
00:24:52,304 --> 00:24:53,635
Thanks.
376
00:24:56,542 --> 00:24:59,306
- Steve, am I ugly?
- What?
377
00:25:00,879 --> 00:25:03,609
No. You got that glow.
378
00:25:04,016 --> 00:25:08,112
- But would you want to have sex with me?
- What are you talking about?
379
00:25:08,754 --> 00:25:10,119
You're pregnant.
380
00:25:11,557 --> 00:25:15,357
And another charming side effect,
aside from flatulence and bloating...
381
00:25:15,427 --> 00:25:17,622
is all I can think about is sex.
382
00:25:18,330 --> 00:25:20,696
And who would want to have sex with me?
383
00:25:22,768 --> 00:25:27,330
I'd like to have sex with you,
but I'm pretty sure it's not allowed.
384
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,334
I've read section B-14 in the contract...
385
00:25:33,045 --> 00:25:34,842
and it said nothing about sex.
386
00:25:35,347 --> 00:25:36,905
Fuck the contract...
387
00:25:39,017 --> 00:25:40,780
and please fuck me.
388
00:25:48,594 --> 00:25:50,323
- What?
- You're squishing me...
389
00:25:50,395 --> 00:25:51,953
- I'm sorry.
- No.
390
00:25:52,064 --> 00:25:56,763
That night, Steve gave Miranda
multiple orgasms...
391
00:25:56,835 --> 00:25:58,029
for what it's worth.
392
00:25:58,103 --> 00:26:01,630
Just to be clear,
this doesn't mean we're a couple.
393
00:26:02,140 --> 00:26:04,131
This is a mercy fuck.
394
00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:17,047
I'm sorry about the other day.
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
395
00:26:17,122 --> 00:26:20,683
You were right. I didn't want to let go
of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal.
396
00:26:20,759 --> 00:26:23,751
I think you are coping amazingly well.
397
00:26:24,796 --> 00:26:26,388
I'm just scared.
398
00:26:27,199 --> 00:26:28,826
I know.
399
00:26:29,368 --> 00:26:31,836
- Me, too.
- Wow!
400
00:26:32,938 --> 00:26:35,600
- We're alone again.
- Yeah.
401
00:26:48,086 --> 00:26:50,554
I want you to take the ring
for your down payment.
402
00:26:50,689 --> 00:26:53,886
I can't. You love this ring.
403
00:26:53,959 --> 00:26:57,122
No, I love what the ring represented.
404
00:26:57,329 --> 00:27:00,264
No, you're right.
It would make things too complicated.
405
00:27:00,332 --> 00:27:03,995
This is a straightforward business proposal.
Clean and simple.
406
00:27:04,436 --> 00:27:07,496
Why do I have all this money
if I can't help out a friend?
407
00:27:07,572 --> 00:27:09,904
But it would be a loan. I'll pay you back.
408
00:27:09,975 --> 00:27:10,964
I know.
409
00:27:11,743 --> 00:27:15,304
I want you to think
really carefully about this.
410
00:27:15,614 --> 00:27:16,808
I have.
411
00:27:16,982 --> 00:27:20,577
Will you be comfortable knowing
it will take me time to pay you back?
412
00:27:20,819 --> 00:27:22,582
I will.
413
00:27:30,829 --> 00:27:32,990
I really appreciate this.
414
00:27:33,231 --> 00:27:36,792
- I'll pay you back. You know that, right?
- I do.
415
00:27:37,536 --> 00:27:40,198
It's okay. I trust you.
416
00:27:40,906 --> 00:27:42,771
Will you take the ring?
417
00:27:44,743 --> 00:27:47,405
I will. Thank you.
418
00:27:48,580 --> 00:27:53,483
Charlotte had taken her painful past
and turned it into my hopeful future...
419
00:27:53,719 --> 00:27:56,381
and that made the ring priceless.
420
00:27:57,422 --> 00:27:59,652
I start work at the museum next week.
421
00:28:00,792 --> 00:28:02,783
That's great. Guess what.
422
00:28:02,928 --> 00:28:06,796
I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word.
423
00:28:10,402 --> 00:28:14,133
I fixed the toilet, and should be done
with this by the end of the afternoon.
424
00:28:14,206 --> 00:28:16,401
Okay, great. Thank you.
425
00:28:19,644 --> 00:28:23,136
It wasn't quite as easy as clicking
my Manolo Blahniks three times...
426
00:28:23,648 --> 00:28:26,913
but it was worth it. I was home.
427
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:37,000
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428
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