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1
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[Joy to the World]
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,291
♪ ♪
3
00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:09,250
[elves chattering]
4
00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:13,834
[toy train whistle blows]
5
00:00:13,834 --> 00:00:16,250
- MAKE SURE THAT THE REINDEER
STAY AWAY FROM IT, ALL RIGHT?
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,250
- THANKS.
7
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,000
- SIR.
DIDN'T YOU GET MY PAGE?
8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,917
- I'M SORRY, WHAT?
- MY PAGE.
9
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:23,792
- OH, LOOK.
I HAD IT ON SILENT.
10
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:28,792
- SIR, THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU
TO SELECT YOUR SANTA SUBSTITUTE.
11
00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:30,375
- AGAIN? WHY?
12
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:32,291
- WELL, IT'S BEEN 36 YEARS.
13
00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:33,917
I MEAN, THE CHRISTMAS MAGIC
IS BEGINNING TO SPIRAL
14
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:36,250
BEYOND OUR ABILITY
TO CONTAIN IT.
15
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,959
THE RESULTS COULD BE
UNPREDICTABLE, CHAOTIC.
16
00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:39,500
IT'S UP TO YOU TO RESET IT.
- MM.
17
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,875
- YOU HAVE TO ENTRUST
CHRISTMAS TO SOMEONE
18
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,583
WHO'S IN DANGER OF LOSING
THEIR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
19
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,125
- YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU'RE RIGHT, EDDIE.
20
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:47,792
ALL RIGHT, SO THEN HOW DO WE
SELECT A CANDIDATE THESE DAYS?
21
00:00:47,792 --> 00:00:50,166
- ROB. THANKS VERY MUCH.
22
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:53,208
AS WE STAND HERE TODAY, THERE
ARE 230 MILLION CANDIDATES.
23
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,250
THEIR NAMES ARE GONNA COME
24
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,792
SCROLLING ALONG
THIS TABLET SCREEN.
25
00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:00,125
WHEN YOU'RE READY,
YOU'RE GONNA PUSH "ENTER,"
26
00:01:00,125 --> 00:01:02,083
AND YOUR CANDIDATE'S NAME
WILL BE HIGHLIGHTED.
27
00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:04,291
"ENTER" WHEN YOU'RE READY.
28
00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:06,000
- UH, BAP. HA-HA.
29
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,834
- OH. DANIEL RYEBECK.
30
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:08,834
HE LIVES AT--
31
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:09,875
- I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES,
EDWARD.
32
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:12,834
I KNOW WHERE THEY ALL LIVE.
33
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,000
- UH, SIR.
TWO OTHER THINGS.
34
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,041
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO PERFORM
ANY CHRISTMAS WORK
35
00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:19,667
WHILE YOUR SUBSTITUTE
HAS THE TITLE.
36
00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:21,959
OFFICIALLY YOU'RE NOT
SANTA CLAUS DURING THAT TIME.
37
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:23,333
- WELL, CAN I VISIT?
38
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,959
- WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY
ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES.
39
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,834
THE OTHER THING IS
MR. RYEBECK--
40
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,542
HE MUST CONSENT OF HIS OWN
FREE WILL TO DO THE JOB.
41
00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,166
- IT'S NEVER A PROBLEM
WITH ME, EDDIE.
42
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,834
YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY WAYS.
43
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:34,542
- YOU CERTAINLY DO, SIR.
44
00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:36,625
I'LL BEGIN ASSESSING
YOUR INITIAL CANDIDATE.
45
00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:41,625
- DANNY RYEBECK.
[chuckles]
46
00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:45,375
I REMEMBER YOU WELL.
47
00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:53,041
[wrapping paper rustling]
48
00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:02,458
- YOUR MOM MADE THAT BY HAND.
- WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM SANTA.
49
00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:03,583
- THANKS, MOM.
50
00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,917
- AND NOW THAT ONE
IS FROM YOUR FATHER.
51
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,875
- HOPE YOU LIKE IT, SON.
52
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:21,875
- THANKS, DAD.
53
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:25,375
- DAN...
54
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,583
I'M SORRY WE COULDN'T AFFORD
MANY PRESENTS THIS YEAR.
55
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:30,250
BUT YOU'LL SEE
WHEN YOU'RE A FATHER.
56
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,750
CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON LOVE.
57
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,583
- AND HERE'S
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
58
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:42,917
- WE LOVE YOU, SON.
59
00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:08,625
- [ringing bell]
60
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:11,792
[coins jingle]
61
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:16,792
OKAY, THERE'S GOTTA BE
A JOB IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
62
00:03:16,792 --> 00:03:19,959
BAM.
63
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,625
THANKS.
- I KNOW YOU.
64
00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:39,000
- YOU'RE THE GUY WHO SOLD ME
MY TICKETS TO HAWAII LAST YEAR.
65
00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:42,583
THAT WAS YOU, HUH?
66
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:46,792
- YEAH, IT FOLDED
TWO MONTHS AGO.
67
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:51,166
[cell phone rings]
68
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,041
HEY, BUDDY.
- NEXT.
69
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,834
- YEAH, I'LL BE BY TO PICK UP
YOU AND YOUR SISTER REAL SOON.
70
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,375
BY THE WAY, WHAT WAS THE NAME
71
00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,208
OF THAT GAME YOU WERE
TALKING ABOUT?
72
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,000
- NEXT. THANK YOU.
73
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,458
- SQUIRE OF WESSEX. GOT IT.
AND THEY CLOSE WHEN?
74
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,500
OKAY. I'LL BE BY SOON. BYE.
75
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,166
OH, UM, WOW.
76
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:09,166
I-I HAVE TO GO.
I'M GONNA CALL TO FOLLOW UP.
77
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:13,166
I'LL CALL.
- WE'LL CALL YOU.
78
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,750
- PARDON ME.
79
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:24,667
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, SIR.
MAY I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?
80
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:27,333
- YES, I'M LOOKING FOR
THE SQUIRE OF WESSEX VIDEO GAME.
81
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:31,834
- IT'S RIGHT HERE
TO THE RIGHT.
82
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:34,250
[child giggling]
83
00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:38,250
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
84
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,583
- AND I THINK MY DAUGHTER
MIGHT LIKE THE PURPLE GUITAR.
85
00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:42,583
- THAT'S A GREAT
BEGINNER'S GUITAR.
86
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,500
IDEAL FOR
THE BEGINNING STUDENT.
87
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,250
- REALLY? THAT'D BE GREAT.
88
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,208
OH, OUCH.
- SHE WOULD LOVE IT.
89
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,083
THEY DON'T MAKE A FINER-LOOKING
INSTRUMENT, SIR.
90
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,083
- OR APPARENTLY
A MORE EXPENSIVE ONE.
91
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:54,250
I WILL JUST GET THE GAME.
92
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:57,583
- OKAY. THAT'S 17.89.
- ALL RIGHT.
93
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,208
- I'M SORRY, SIR.
94
00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,375
YOUR CARD HAS BEEN DECLINED.
95
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,417
IS THERE ANOTHER
YOU CAN TRY?
96
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,709
- OH, UH...
HUH.
97
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:13,542
I'LL JUST PAY CASH.
98
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,083
- OKAY.
[cash register dings]
99
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,083
HERE YOU GO, SIR.
100
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:20,709
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
101
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:22,959
- YES. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
102
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,875
- HEY, LADY,
IF YOU'RE REALLY HUNGRY,
103
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:34,750
THERE'S A SOUP KITCHEN
DOWN THE STREET.
104
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:38,041
OTHERWISE
THE HOT DOGS ARE $2.
105
00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:39,250
- 'SCUSE ME.
106
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:42,000
I'LL BUY THE YOUNG LADY
A HOT DOG.
107
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,583
- OH.
- ALL RIGHT.
108
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,250
- THANK YOU.
109
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:50,083
- THANKS.
110
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,083
- YOU WANT ONIONS?
111
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:54,250
- YES, PLEASE.
112
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:59,458
- ALL RIGHT,
THANK YOU, DEBBIE.
113
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:02,917
- THEY SAID I MIGHT
FIND YOU HERE.
114
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:04,250
- AH. WELL?
115
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,291
- WELL, HE'S NOT
THE WORST CANDIDATE EVER.
116
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:07,625
- [chuckles]
YEAH, NO.
117
00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,917
THAT'D BE
EZRA SPINDLESHANKS, 1846.
118
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:13,458
THAT MAN TAXED MY PATIENCE.
119
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:16,000
- NO, MR. RYEBECK
IS NOT THAT PERSON,
120
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,750
BUT I WONDER WHAT SKILLS
HE'LL BRING TO THE WORKSHOP.
121
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,959
- YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS
SAY THAT, EDDIE.
122
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,583
- NOR AM I CONVINCED
HOW HE'LL REACT
123
00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:22,875
WHEN WE TURN THE MAGIC
OVER TO HIM.
124
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,041
- HE'S GONNA MAKE MISTAKES,
125
00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:25,333
AND THEN HE'S GONNA
FIGURE OUT HOW NOT TO.
126
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,792
- MAGIC IS UNPREDICTABLE
EVEN WHEN YOU USE IT.
127
00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:29,458
I MEAN, CHAOS THEORY
STARTED TO EXPLAIN THAT.
128
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,333
BUT NOW I GUESS
COMPUTER SEARCH ALGORITHMS
129
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,125
ARE A BETTER PARALLEL.
130
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,625
- IT'S THE HUMAN HEART
THAT MAKES IT GO, EDDIE.
131
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:35,625
NOTHING ELSE.
132
00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:37,333
BUT I KNOW THIS.
133
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:39,166
IF YOU EXPECT
NOTHING FROM PEOPLE
134
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,667
THEN THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA GET.
135
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:45,667
BUT IF YOU EXPECT MUCH FROM THEM
YOU'RE GONNA GET THAT TOO.
136
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,875
[chuckles]
COME ON.
137
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,291
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH, EDDIE.
138
00:06:49,291 --> 00:06:51,959
YOU MIGHT JUST BE
SURPRISED BY DAN RYEBECK.
139
00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,500
- YES, SIR.
140
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:57,250
NOW WITH THAT, I THINK I NEED
TO MEET OUR MR. RYEBECK.
141
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,250
AND LET HIM KNOW THAT HE'S
THIS YEAR'S SANTA CLAUS.
142
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:02,750
OH, BOY.
THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
143
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,959
- SANTA.
- YEAH?
144
00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:07,166
- MAKE SURE YOU OBTAIN
MR. RYEBECK'S CONSENT.
145
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:09,834
- NO PROBLEM.
146
00:07:21,792 --> 00:07:23,333
HEY, GANG. I'M HERE.
147
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,375
- HEY, DAD. COME IN.
148
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:28,166
- COME ON IN HERE. YOU'RE
NOT TOO BIG TO GIVE ME A HUG.
149
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:29,333
- I'VE GOT A JOKE
FOR YOU, DAD.
150
00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,041
HOW COME SANTA
GOES DOWN CHIMNEYS?
151
00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:32,500
- I DON'T KNOW.
152
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,959
- BECAUSE IT "SOOTS" HIM.
YOU GET IT? SOOT?
153
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,125
- AH, I LIKE IT. RIGHT HERE.
154
00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:39,041
GOT YOU A LITTLE SURPRISE.
155
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,709
IT'S THE SQUIRE OF WESSEX.
156
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:45,041
- OH, BUT THIS IS THE OLD ONE.
THE ONE I ALREADY HAVE.
157
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,875
- SORRY ABOUT THAT, BUDDY.
- IT'S OKAY.
158
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:48,041
THE NEW ONE'S HARD TO FIND.
[cell phone rings]
159
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,709
DID YOU WANT TO PLAY?
160
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:52,792
- I DO, BUT LET ME
JUST CHECK THIS.
161
00:07:52,792 --> 00:07:56,166
ALL RIGHT. GREAT.
I GOT THE JOB?
162
00:07:56,166 --> 00:08:00,250
HEY, SWEETHEART.
163
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,250
- OH, HI, DAN.
HOW ARE THINGS?
164
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,333
- NEVER BETTER.
165
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:05,166
- WOULD YOU HELP ME OUTSIDE,
166
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:06,667
REPLACE A FEW BULBS
ON THE FRONT PORCH?
167
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:10,875
- SURE.
168
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,917
SO MANY CHRISTMASES.
169
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:14,917
TAKES YOU BACK, DOESN'T IT?
170
00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:19,208
IT SURE DOES.
171
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,250
- YEAH, THOSE WERE
SOME CAREFREE TIMES.
172
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:24,583
- IT WAS.
173
00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:27,208
I SPOKE WITH THE ATTORNEY.
174
00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:29,083
AND HE WANTED TO KNOW
IF YOU CAN
175
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,166
COME IN AND LOOK OVER
THOSE PAPERS ON FRIDAY.
176
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:35,041
- YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS.
WOW.
177
00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:38,000
- WE'VE BEEN SEPARATED
FOR A YEAR.
178
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,375
LET'S NOT PROLONG THINGS.
179
00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:40,750
AND LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT,
LET'S NOT
180
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,208
BREAK IT TO THE KIDS
TILL AFTER CHRISTMAS.
181
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:45,041
- YEAH, OKAY.
[car horn honks]
182
00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:48,125
- SORRY FOR TOOTING THE HORN,
BUT I HAVE BRILLIANT NEWS.
183
00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:50,959
- WHAT'S THAT?
184
00:08:50,959 --> 00:08:51,959
YOU'RE RETIRING
THE WORD "TOOTING"?
185
00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:54,125
- LINDA, WE ARE
GOING TO REPRESENT
186
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:57,250
THE NEW 220 LUXURY UNIT
DOWNTOWN COMPLEX
187
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,542
AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE THE OWNERS
LOVED YOUR MARKETING PLAN!
188
00:08:59,542 --> 00:09:01,750
- OH!
- [laughs]
189
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,041
- FANTASTIC.
190
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,166
- I ALWAYS THOUGHT
BRITISH GUYS
191
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,083
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PALE
WITH BAD TEETH.
192
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:07,792
- I GUESS THE LONDON OLYMPICS
RUBBED OFF.
193
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,458
ALMOST MADE
THE UK DIVING TEAM.
194
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:11,792
YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN MY SPEEDO.
- TAKE A PASS ON THAT.
195
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:13,875
- I JUST DROPPED BY
TO GIVE YOU THE GOOD NEWS.
196
00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:16,291
- THANKS, BUT I THINK EVERYONE
ON TEAM TREVOR DESERVES CREDIT.
197
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:18,542
- OKAY, WELL, THANKS FOR
STOPPING BY, THERE, TEAM TREVOR.
198
00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:20,625
IT'S BEEN REAL.
- RIGHT, CHEERS.
199
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,000
LINDA, I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.
200
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,709
GOT A LOT OF WORK
TO DO THIS WEEK.
201
00:09:23,709 --> 00:09:25,917
OH, ALMOST FORGOT.
202
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:27,750
SAW A FEW THINGS I THOUGHT
YOUR KIDS MIGHT LIKE.
203
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,625
I ASSUME THEY'RE
INTO VIDEO GAMES.
204
00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:31,625
I UNDERSTAND THESE
WIRELESS CONTROLLERS
205
00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:32,709
ARE STATE OF THE ART.
206
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,250
- OH, TREVOR,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.
207
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,291
- NO, REALLY,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.
208
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:37,917
- THE KIDS ARE CRAZY
FOR VIDEO GAMES.
209
00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:40,250
- WELL, NO, I REALLY
WOULDN'T SAY "CRAZY FOR THEM."
210
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,667
I MEAN, THEY'LL DEAL WITH THEM,
I GUESS.
211
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:43,000
- MOM, CAN JOE AND I
GO NEXT DOOR
212
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,166
TO SEE THE HENDERSONS' TREE?
213
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,333
- OH, SURE.
214
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:46,750
BUT MR. WINTHROP
BROUGHT YOU THESE GIFTS.
215
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,333
- THANKS, MR. WINTHROP.
- CALL ME TREVOR. TREVS.
216
00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:51,458
- YEAH, OKAY. THANKS.
217
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,834
COME ON.
218
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,083
- AH, THE WONDERS OF YOUTH.
219
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:56,834
WELL, I GUESS
I'D BETTER BE TODDLING OFF.
220
00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:58,834
LINDA, I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.
221
00:09:58,834 --> 00:09:59,834
CHEERIO, DAN.
222
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,458
- CHEERIO, TREVS.
223
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,667
TRY NOT TO CRASH THAT PRETTY
LITTLE CAR OF YOURS.
224
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:04,792
- HA!
225
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:09,542
[engine starts]
226
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,542
- NEXT TIME I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU DON'T
227
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:13,333
GET INTO A CHEST THUMPING
CONTEST WITH MY BOSS.
228
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,875
- HE'S LUCKY I DIDN'T
TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
229
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,291
- SEE YOU LATER, DAN.
230
00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:19,333
AND REMEMBER, SEVEN DAYS
TILL WE SIGN THOSE PAPERS.
231
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:23,250
- ALL RIGHT. SEVEN DAYS.
232
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:26,500
SEVEN DAYS.
233
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:31,500
SEVEN DAYS TO GET YOU
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND.
234
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:35,709
- HO, HO! SANTA IS HERE!
235
00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:39,166
OKAY, WHO'S NEXT
TO SEE SANTA?
236
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:41,583
- ME.
- OH, COME ON, NOW.
237
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:46,041
OH, HO. AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME,
LITTLE FELLA?
238
00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:47,583
- ALLAN.
239
00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:49,417
- AND ALLAN, HAVE YOU BEEN
A GOOD LITTLE BOY?
240
00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:51,417
- YOUR JACKET'S NOT
BUTTONED UP RIGHT.
241
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,542
- I HAVE BEEN IN THE SLEIGH
FOR MANY HOURS,
242
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:58,083
AND I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE
TO CHECK MY MIRROR.
243
00:10:58,083 --> 00:11:00,083
SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
FOR CHRISTMAS?
244
00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,583
- I THINK WE BOTH KNOW
THAT YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA.
245
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,959
- LET'S--LET'S--
LET'S STAY ON TARGET HERE.
246
00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:07,750
- HEY, YOU'RE THE GUY
THAT LIVES NEAR ME
247
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,917
IN THAT APARTMENT OFF MAIN.
- NOPE. NOPE.
248
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:13,750
- YOU'RE THE GUY THAT ALWAYS
LISTENS TO VIOLIN MUSIC
249
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:14,959
AND CRIES AT NIGHT.
250
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:17,083
- THAT'S IT, OKAY?
- [clears throat] SANTA.
251
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:18,083
[chuckles]
252
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:21,208
- OH, HO!
253
00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:25,542
- [chuckles]
'SCUSE US.
254
00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:28,959
SOMEONE NEEDS A REFRESHER COURSE
IN SANTA 101.
255
00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:31,375
FIRSTLY, SANTA IS JOLLY
256
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,417
AND ANSWERS ALL ADVERSITY
WITH A "HO, HO, HO."
257
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:34,625
- BUT THAT LITTLE KID--
- NUMBER TWO...
258
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:39,291
SANTA STICKS TO THE SCRIPT.
- RIGHT.
259
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:40,291
- DAD?
260
00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,125
- UH...
261
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:44,667
HEY, SALLY.
262
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,792
- COME ON, LET'S GO.
JUST GO.
263
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,792
- SALLY, WAIT.
MY DAUGHTER.
264
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,750
- SALLY!
- TURN IN YOUR BEARD.
265
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:55,500
- [sighs]
266
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,000
GREAT.
267
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,625
- ♪ ...THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS
MY TRUE LOVE SENT TO ME ♪
268
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,917
♪ THREE FRENCH HENS,
TWO TURTLEDOVES ♪
269
00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:09,166
♪ AND A PARTRIDGE
IN A PEAR TREE ♪
270
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:12,333
♪ ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS
MY TRUE LOVE SENT TO ME ♪
271
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,458
- WHAT?
272
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,583
- ♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS,
THREE FRENCH HENS... ♪
273
00:12:16,583 --> 00:12:19,333
- EXPIRED TAGS?
274
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,500
I DON'T HAVE EXPIRED TAGS.
275
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:24,375
EXPIRED TAGS!
276
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:27,291
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
277
00:12:27,291 --> 00:12:31,500
AUGUST.
278
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,959
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
279
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:37,625
OH, COME ON!
280
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:42,291
SO I HAD SOME UNPAID TICKETS.
COME ON, GUYS.
281
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:45,500
[grunts]
I WAS GONNA PAY THEM.
282
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:49,166
[people chattering]
283
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,041
- HEY. WHAT WILL IT BE?
284
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,959
- GIVE ME SOMETHING
STRONG ENOUGH
285
00:12:57,959 --> 00:13:00,083
TO FORGET ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
286
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,667
- A HOT TODDY
SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
287
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:05,875
I'M GONNA GO HEAT UP SOME WATER.
I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES.
288
00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:07,667
- FORGET ABOUT CHRISTMAS?
289
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,041
WHY EVER WOULD SOMEBODY
WANT TO DO THAT?
290
00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:10,709
- HUH?
291
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,500
- WHY WOULD ANYBODY
EVER WANT TO FORGET
292
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,542
ABOUT THE HAPPIEST
DAY OF THE YEAR?
293
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:17,208
- WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE
CHRISTMAS IS ONE BIG LETDOWN.
294
00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:18,875
- [laughs]
NONSENSE.
295
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:19,917
- IT'S THE HOLIDAYS, RIGHT?
296
00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:21,667
SO LET'S JUST
AGREE TO DISAGREE
297
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,333
AND I'LL BUY YOU ONE
OF WHATEVER YOU'RE HAVING, OKAY?
298
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:28,041
- WELL, HOT CHOCOLATE WITH MINT
AND A DASH OF YULETIDE.
299
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,208
- RIGHT.
300
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:34,542
- LOOK, CHRISTMAS ISN'T ALWAYS
PERFECT ON THE SURFACE.
301
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:38,750
BUT DISAPPOINTING? NEVER.
302
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,750
- HEY, DON'T YOU HAVE
A CHRISTMAS WISH?
303
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:46,083
- YEAH.
GET MY FAMILY BACK.
304
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:50,417
- WELL, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE
AT CHRISTMAS, DAN.
305
00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:51,458
- HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME?
306
00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:54,208
- UH, YOU SAID IT, DIDN'T YOU?
307
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,792
- OH. YEAH, I GUESS I DID.
308
00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:01,250
- YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT
YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH CHRISTMAS.
309
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,750
- [scoffs]
310
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,375
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S
AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
311
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:05,959
I DO HAVE ISSUES
WITH CHRISTMAS.
312
00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:08,875
I GOT ISSUES WITH NOT BEING ABLE
TO GIVE MY KIDS WHAT I WANT TO.
313
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:10,583
NEVER BEING ABLE
TO DELIVER ENOUGH.
314
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,917
I GOT ISSUES WITH MY BOOTED CAR,
THE FACT THAT I JUST GOT FIRED
315
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,375
AND THAT MY MARRIAGE
IS ON THE ROCKS.
316
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:17,291
SO YEAH, I GOT
A FEW PROBLEMS WITH THE WHOLE,
317
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,000
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS,
SANTA SAVES THE DAY" DEAL.
318
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,792
- SO MAYBE YOU THINK
YOU COULD DO A BETTER JOB OF IT?
319
00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:26,000
- YOU BET I COULD.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, POPS.
320
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,667
YOU ENJOY CHRISTMAS
ANY WAY YOU WANT.
321
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:32,667
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
JANUARY CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH.
322
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:35,250
- SEE YOU AROUND.
[laughs]
323
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,792
- TAXI.
324
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,583
[jingle bells ring]
325
00:14:50,583 --> 00:14:52,291
INTERESTING DECOR.
326
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,959
- [chuckles]
327
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,959
- 550 MAIN STREET.
328
00:14:55,959 --> 00:14:57,792
- WELL.
329
00:14:57,792 --> 00:14:58,834
FANCY SEEING YOU AGAIN.
330
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:00,291
- YOU'RE FASTER
THAN YOU LOOK.
331
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:03,500
- YOU COMPLAINED
ABOUT CHRISTMAS ALL NIGHT.
332
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,792
AND YOU SAID YOU COULD DO IT
BETTER THAN ST. NICK HIMSELF.
333
00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:10,166
WELL, I'M ST. NICK.
[chuckles]
334
00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:11,792
- OH, YOU'RE--
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
335
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:16,333
- BOY, I SURE COULD USE
A VACATION. [chuckles]
336
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,333
- LET ME OUT.
337
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,500
- DONE.
338
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,333
AND FARE'S ON ME.
339
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:25,333
- THANK GOODNESS.
340
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,041
WHOA.
341
00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:30,041
THAT--THAT'S MY BUILDING.
- [laughs] YEAH.
342
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:33,041
- I DIDN'T EVEN
FEEL THE CAR MOVE.
343
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,291
- GOOD NIGHT.
344
00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:37,333
- AND GOOD NIGHT TO YOU.
345
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,709
- AND THANKS. I REALLY
APPRECIATE YOU HELPING ME.
346
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,375
SANTA.
347
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,834
- [chuckles]
ANY TIME.
348
00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,166
- I'M OUTTA HERE.
349
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:57,709
- WHERE YOU GOING?
- VACATION.
350
00:15:57,709 --> 00:16:00,250
THE MISSUS WANTED TO GO
SOMEPLACE WARM, SUNNY.
351
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,417
DON'T TELL ANYBODY,
BUT WE WENT WITH BIMINI.
352
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:05,166
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT DAN?
WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?
353
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,709
- WELL, YOU TOLD ME
I COULDN'T WORK SO I'M NOT.
354
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,166
THIS YEAR IT'S YOUR SHOW.
355
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:10,709
AND OF COURSE DAN'S.
356
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:13,041
- BUT WHAT IF HE
MISUSES THE SANTA CAR?
357
00:16:13,041 --> 00:16:14,208
- OH, HE WILL.
358
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:15,875
- WHAT IF HE FOCUSES
ON HIS OWN PROBLEMS
359
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,834
AND COMPLETELY
IGNORES CHRISTMAS?
360
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,208
- WELL, THAT'S PRACTICALLY
GUARANTEED.
361
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:20,875
- WELL, HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO MANAGE THAT?
362
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:23,041
- THE SAME WAY YOU MANAGE
EVERYTHING, EDDIE.
363
00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:25,417
COME ON, YOU'VE ALWAYS
DONE THE REAL WORK.
364
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:27,417
AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.
- YES, SIR.
365
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:29,625
- WELL, THE MISSUS AND I
HAVE GOTTA CATCH A PLANE.
366
00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:33,250
WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS, EDDIE.
367
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,875
AND DON'T CALL ME.
368
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:40,709
[laughing]
369
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,583
- YES. YES, HAPPY HOLIDAYS,
PARKING ENFORCEMENT.
370
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,792
WHO DO I TALK TO ABOUT
GETTING A BOOT OFF MY CAR?
371
00:16:46,792 --> 00:16:47,792
- I REALLY HOPE I GET
THOSE ALPINE SKIS.
372
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:50,250
- 'SCUSE ME?
373
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,208
- I WANT A MOTORIZED STARSHIP
WITH A BLASTER.
374
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:55,583
- I'D LOVE
A 16 GIGABYTE SMARTPHONE.
375
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,583
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'LL CALL BACK. THANK YOU.
376
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,125
I'M SORRY, I WAS ON THE PHONE.
377
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:00,917
WERE YOU TALKING TO ME--
NO, YOU WERE NOT.
378
00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:05,792
- I HOPE HE GETS ME THE RING.
- THAT'S THE MODEL I WANT.
379
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,417
- I WANT THOSE BOOTS.
I REALLY, REALLY WANT THEM.
380
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,750
- UM, YOU WANT THOSE BOOTS?
381
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:14,458
I THINK YOU SHOULD
GET THOSE BOOTS.
382
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,208
I THINK THEY'D LOOK
VERY GOOD ON YOU.
383
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:18,000
- HEY, BUDDY.
WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?
384
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,625
YOU HITTING ON MY GIRL?
385
00:17:19,625 --> 00:17:21,291
- NO, NOT AT ALL.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS TALKING.
386
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,959
- YEAH, GET OUTTA HERE.
387
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:28,542
- I DON'T REMEMBER
WHERE I PARKED THE CAR.
388
00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:29,750
NO, I DON'T KNOW.
389
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:31,792
- NO, I'M NOT--
YES, YOU ARE HEARING THINGS.
390
00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:33,625
NO, YOU ARE NOT.
391
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,208
- LOOK AT THAT GUY
TALKING TO HIMSELF OVER THERE.
392
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:37,208
- THIS IS STRESS.
393
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,083
- IS THAT--
- DAD?
394
00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:42,625
- HEY, KIDS,
LET'S BUY SOME DVDs.
395
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,083
- OKAY.
396
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:49,000
[people chattering]
397
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,291
- I REALLY WANT THAT BIKE.
I REALLY WANT IT.
398
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:52,792
- GIFT CERTIFICATE
I CAN GET THOSE--
399
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:54,959
- I'M GONNA ASK SANTA FOR IT.
400
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,834
- TRAIN I HAD WHEN I WAS A BOY.
- ASK FOR THE BONUS SO I CAN...
401
00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:59,667
- I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
- ...TREE TOPPER.
402
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:02,166
- ...HAVE A PINK ONE OF THESE.
- YOU OKAY, SIR?
403
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,125
- YEAH. MIGRAINE.
404
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,208
I'D LIKE TO EXCHANGE
THIS GAME FOR THE NEW ONE.
405
00:18:06,208 --> 00:18:08,333
- OKAY.
- AND, UM, HERE'S THE RECEIPT.
406
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:11,542
- OKAY. WELCOME BACK.
407
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:13,500
OKAY, WITH THE RETURN
ON THE OLD ONE,
408
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,125
THAT'S AN ADDITIONAL 34.95.
409
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:18,333
- REALLY? 34.95 MORE?
410
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,333
- YES, SIR.
411
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,792
- UH-HUH.
412
00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:25,166
WHAT--WHAT'S THIS?
413
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:29,041
- [chuckles]
WE TAKE PLASTIC.
414
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,875
SANTA CARD, HUH?
415
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,417
- GREAT BANK.
416
00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:34,917
- MM-HMM.
417
00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:36,917
- WENT THROUGH FINE.
418
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,375
- THAT PICKPOCKETING,
CRAZY OLD COOT.
419
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:41,375
- I'M SORRY, SIR?
- NOTHING.
420
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:44,000
JUST HAVE TO FIND A GUY WHO
PLAYED A LITTLE TRICK ON ME.
421
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,542
THANKS. OH, AND, UH,
PUT THE GUITAR ON HOLD FOR ME.
422
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:49,041
- WILL DO.
423
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,375
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SIR.
- YES. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
424
00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,000
EXCUSE ME. YOU REMEMBER THE GUY
I WAS TALKING TO LAST NIGHT?
425
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,166
WHITE BEARD,
A LITTLE ON THE ROUND SIDE?
426
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:03,333
- NO, SIR.
427
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,458
- WE WERE SITTING RIGHT THERE.
GLASSES.
428
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:06,542
YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
429
00:19:06,542 --> 00:19:08,792
- I REMEMBER YOU
TALKING TO YOURSELF.
430
00:19:08,792 --> 00:19:12,417
WE GET A LOT OF THAT
DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
431
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,542
NO.
432
00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:16,875
NO, THAT CAN'T BE.
433
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:20,542
THINGS HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE WEIRD.
434
00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:25,291
- MR. RYEBECK?
435
00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:29,083
YEAH. NO, NO.
436
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,750
HI. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO STARTLE YOU.
437
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,083
MY NAME IS EDDIE.
438
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,625
I'M MR. KRINGLE'S
PERSONAL ASSISTANT.
439
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:37,083
DON'T--DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
440
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:41,417
JUST WAIT THERE
JUST A MOMENT.
441
00:19:41,417 --> 00:19:44,417
[crashing]
442
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:46,792
- I'LL BE WITH YOU
IN A MINUTE.
443
00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:51,750
- NO HURRY.
444
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,500
SORRY ABOUT THAT,
I WAS ON MY WAY TO SEE YOU
445
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,792
AND I GOT TANGLED UP
IN THE TV SIGNAL.
446
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,083
JUST SHOWS YOU WHAT A TERRIBLE
SENSE OF DIRECTION I HAVE.
447
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,792
- HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
448
00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,458
- THAT? THAT WAS JUST A LITTLE
BIT OF CHRISTMAS MAGIC.
449
00:20:00,458 --> 00:20:03,125
YOU SEE, I'M AN ELF.
A CHRISTMAS ELF.
450
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:05,959
NOW SINCE KRIS IS ON VACATION
AND HE'S PUT YOU IN CHARGE,
451
00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:07,125
I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO ADMIT
452
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,000
WE'VE BEEN A LITTLE
TOPSY-TURVY,
453
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,792
WE'VE BEEN LIKE A SHIP
WITHOUT A CAPTAIN.
454
00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:14,458
MORE SPECIFICALLY
A SLEIGH WITHOUT A DRIVER.
455
00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:16,291
WE'VE GOT SO LITTLE TO DO
AND SO MUCH TIME.
456
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:19,250
SO MUCH TIME
AND SO LITTLE TO DO. WAIT.
457
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:23,291
WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DO
AND SO LITTLE TIME TO DO IT
458
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,291
YOU ARE EXPECTED
AT THE NORTH POLE.
459
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,500
- OH. THE NORTH POLE.
460
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,625
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
461
00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:31,875
SURE.
- GREAT.
462
00:20:31,875 --> 00:20:33,625
WE'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO INTERFERE WITH FREE WILL,
463
00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:35,917
BUT SINCE YOU SAID YES, HOLD ON.
464
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:38,834
THIS MAY TICKLE.
465
00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:42,125
[elves chattering]
466
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,959
- MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION,
EVERYONE?
467
00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:49,166
I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE
MR. DANIEL RYEBECK.
468
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:52,166
LET'S GIVE HIM A WARM WELCOME.
[claps]
469
00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:54,166
- THIS IS CRAZY.
WHERE AM I?
470
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,041
- THE NORTH POLE.
SANTA'S OFFICE, OF COURSE.
471
00:20:57,041 --> 00:20:58,917
EDDIE, WHERE'D YOU FIND
THIS GUY? ON A TURNIP TRUCK?
472
00:20:58,917 --> 00:21:00,250
- OKAY, MM-HMM.
473
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,750
I WANT TO TALK
TO THE MAN IN CHARGE.
474
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,417
- WE BETTER GET STARTED.
- IS SANTA PULLING ANOTHER JOKE?
475
00:21:04,417 --> 00:21:05,834
- I REMEMBER THE TIME
HE SAID WE WERE
476
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,667
SWITCHING FROM REINDEERS
TO ROOSTERS.
477
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,625
THAT WAS SO HUMILIATING.
478
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,500
- THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
479
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,709
THESE ARE YOUR
NAUGHTY AND NICE GLASSES.
480
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:16,750
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN GIVEN
YOUR SANTA CARD,
481
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,875
SO THE ONLY THING
LEFT TO DO IS SHOW YOU
482
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:21,792
THE ORIENTATION VIDEO.
483
00:21:21,792 --> 00:21:25,291
SO, YOU'RE SANTA.
484
00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:26,875
I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY.
485
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,083
YOU'RE PROBABLY FREAKED OUT.
486
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,542
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
487
00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:31,875
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW
A FEW SIMPLE SANTA RULES.
488
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:34,208
RULE NUMBER ONE.
489
00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:37,875
AS SANTA IT IS YOUR MISSION TO
DELIVER CHRISTMAS FOR THE WORLD.
490
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:40,625
- OKAY.
- NO, SIT DOWN, SHH, SHH.
491
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:42,250
- USE YOUR SANTA POWER WISELY.
492
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:44,709
WITH A SIMPLE SNAP OF YOUR
FINGER YOU CAN MAKE IT SNOW.
493
00:21:44,709 --> 00:21:46,750
WITH YOUR SANTA MIDAS TOUCH,
494
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:49,083
YOU'LL HAVE CHRISTMAS
AT YOUR FINGERS.
495
00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:52,875
RUB YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, YOU CAN
MAKE MUSIC, MAGIC, OR MISTLETOE.
496
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:57,917
RULE NUMBER THREE, ONLY USE YOUR
SANTA CARD IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.
497
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:01,917
RULE NUMBER FOUR, ALL ELVES
MUST OBEY YOUR EVERY COMMAND.
498
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:02,917
- [sighs] OH, THIS IS
NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE.
499
00:22:02,917 --> 00:22:04,125
- CLEARLY,
SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE
500
00:22:04,125 --> 00:22:05,917
A WORD WITH THE BIG MAN
HIMSELF ABOUT THIS.
501
00:22:05,917 --> 00:22:08,333
CALL HIM ON HIS CELL.
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
502
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,583
SANTA WAS CRYSTAL CLEAR
ABOUT THIS.
503
00:22:10,583 --> 00:22:12,333
MR. RYEBECK IS IN CHARGE.
504
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,667
NOW, DAN. DAN.
505
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,417
I'M SURE YOU HAVE
MANY QUESTIONS.
506
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,166
NOW, I HAVE BEEN SANTA'S
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
507
00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:19,041
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
508
00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:20,750
SO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
509
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:24,667
- HERE'S ONE. IS THIS REAL?
510
00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:25,834
- YUP.
511
00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:29,125
- SO RULE NUMBER FOUR,
ELVES MUST OBEY?
512
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,291
- THAT'S RIGHT.
513
00:22:30,291 --> 00:22:33,083
- HERE'S AN ORDER.
GET ME OUTTA HERE.
514
00:22:37,959 --> 00:22:40,375
OKAY, WHA--
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
515
00:22:40,375 --> 00:22:43,000
- OH, I MISSED AGAIN.
I WAS TRYING TO GET US INSIDE.
516
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,208
- WHAT, ARE YOU A HYPNOTIST?
517
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,792
- NO, I EAT ALMOST ANYTHING.
518
00:22:45,792 --> 00:22:47,792
- OKAY, YOU JUST
LEAVE ME ALONE.
519
00:22:47,792 --> 00:22:52,375
I'M CLEARLY DREAMING.
JUST NEED A COFFEE. YEAH.
520
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,417
- WITH YOUR SANTA MIDAS TOUCH
521
00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:02,959
YOU'LL HAVE CHRISTMAS
AT YOUR FINGERS.
522
00:23:02,959 --> 00:23:05,500
[glass sings]
523
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,792
[plays Fur Elise]
524
00:23:08,792 --> 00:23:10,125
- THAT WAS AMAZING.
525
00:23:10,125 --> 00:23:12,500
- YES.
YEAH, THAT WAS AMAZING.
526
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:17,041
- HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
527
00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:18,500
- CHRISTMAS MAGIC.
528
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:20,667
- WHATEVER.
529
00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:25,834
MAYBE...
530
00:23:25,834 --> 00:23:30,208
MAYBE I'M NOT DREAMING.
531
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:35,208
HI. I'D LIKE A LATTE AND THAT
ENTIRE BASKET OF CANDY CANES.
532
00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:39,000
OH, UH, DO YOU
TAKE SANTA CARD?
533
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,166
HERE YOU GO.
A CANDY CANE FOR YOU, SIR.
534
00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,291
AND ONE FOR YOU. HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
- THANK YOU.
535
00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:46,834
- MERRY CHRISTMAS. FREE CANDY
CANES FOR ONE AND ALL.
536
00:23:46,834 --> 00:23:51,375
'SCUSE ME, SIR, CANDY CANE
FOR YOU. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
537
00:23:57,792 --> 00:23:59,709
OH...
538
00:23:59,709 --> 00:24:01,583
- IS THIS YOUR CAR?
539
00:24:01,583 --> 00:24:03,875
- YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY
ABOUT ME TOWING YOUR CAR?
540
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:06,208
- NO. NO, JUST--
541
00:24:06,208 --> 00:24:07,875
JUST THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD.
542
00:24:07,875 --> 00:24:10,542
AND YOU DESERVE
THOSE ITALIAN PUMPS.
543
00:24:10,542 --> 00:24:14,542
- THANKS. I THINK SO TOO.
544
00:24:14,542 --> 00:24:15,875
BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW?
545
00:24:15,875 --> 00:24:18,208
- LUCKY GUESS.
546
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,458
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
547
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:23,917
- YES. MERRY CHRISTMAS ALSO.
548
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,125
OH, AND TAKE CARE OF THOSE
PARKING TICKETS.
549
00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:34,625
- [chuckles]
550
00:24:42,417 --> 00:24:43,959
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
551
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:47,000
[bell rings]
552
00:24:49,250 --> 00:24:50,792
- DAN.
553
00:24:50,792 --> 00:24:53,166
- HOLY COW, EDDIE,
DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT.
554
00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:55,834
- LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT IT.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
555
00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:57,917
- MULTICOLORED SQUIGGLY LINES
ON A GRAPH?
556
00:24:57,917 --> 00:24:59,291
- THOSE MULTICOLORED
SQUIGGLY LINES
557
00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:00,333
ARE THE MAGIC
IN A NOSEDIVE.
558
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:01,667
YOU'VE BEEN HERE
FOR FIVE MINUTES.
559
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:03,500
YOU'RE ALREADY ABUSING
THE SYSTEM. KNOCK IT OFF.
560
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,083
- KNOCK WHAT OFF?
- MISUSING THE MAGIC.
561
00:25:05,083 --> 00:25:06,667
IT'S NOT THERE
AS YOUR PLAYTHING.
562
00:25:06,667 --> 00:25:08,250
IT IS THE POWER THAT ALLOWS
563
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,458
STOCKINGS TO BE STUFFED THE
WORLD OVER IN A SINGLE NIGHT.
564
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:11,834
- THIS IS TOO
POWERFUL OF A TOOL
565
00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:13,083
NOT TO BE LEVERAGED
A LITTLE BIT.
566
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,583
- EXACTLY,
WHICH IS WHY YOUR WHIMS,
567
00:25:14,583 --> 00:25:17,291
NOT TO MENTION THE ILLEGAL
ACTIVITY OF TICKET FIXING,
568
00:25:17,291 --> 00:25:20,417
ARE NOT THE FOUNDING PRINCIPLES
THAT THE MAGIC WAS FOUNDED ON.
569
00:25:20,417 --> 00:25:23,458
- SORRY. I GOTTA GO.
- NO, HOLD ON.
570
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,458
YOU HAVE A SANTA SUIT
FITTING IN 30 MINUTES.
571
00:25:25,458 --> 00:25:26,583
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
572
00:25:26,583 --> 00:25:29,709
- I GOTTA GET THESE GIFTS
TO MY KIDS.
573
00:25:29,709 --> 00:25:30,959
- MAKE IT SNAPPY.
574
00:25:30,959 --> 00:25:34,125
- [laughing]
575
00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:35,625
HEY.
576
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:37,208
- DAN, ARE YOU OKAY?
577
00:25:37,208 --> 00:25:39,041
- LINDA,
I AM BETTER THAN OKAY.
578
00:25:39,041 --> 00:25:41,125
I JUST HAD THE MOST
AMAZING MORNING EVER.
579
00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,291
KIDS, HEY, COME OVER HERE.
580
00:25:43,291 --> 00:25:45,709
I HAVE A LITTLE PRE-CHRISTMAS
SURPRISE FOR YOU.
581
00:25:45,709 --> 00:25:47,667
THERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
582
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:51,542
- DAD! YOU FOUND THE NEW ONE!
- YOU BET I DID, KIDDO.
583
00:25:51,542 --> 00:25:53,208
AND THIS IS FOR YOU.
584
00:25:53,208 --> 00:25:55,291
- DAD, YOU BOUGHT IT?
585
00:25:55,291 --> 00:25:56,625
- YES, I DID.
586
00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:59,333
[chuckles]
- AWESOME.
587
00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:00,333
- DAN, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
588
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:03,333
- MY SHIP--SLEIGH CAME IN.
589
00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:04,959
- BUT DAN, YOU CAN'T
AFFORD THESE THINGS.
590
00:26:04,959 --> 00:26:07,625
- YES I CAN, LINDA.
AND...
591
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:11,000
I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOU TOO.
592
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,166
HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
593
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:15,333
- WE'LL TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER.
594
00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:16,792
THE SITTER'S GONNA
BE HERE ANY MINUTE
595
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:19,208
AND I HAVE TO MEET WITH TREVOR
TO TOUR THE NEW PROPERTY.
596
00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:21,583
TREVOR, I--REALLY, AGAIN?
- YEAH, TREVOR.
597
00:26:21,583 --> 00:26:22,917
HE'S MY BOSS.
598
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:24,667
WE HAVE TO TOUR THE NEW PROPERTY
BEFORE NEW YEAR'S.
599
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,333
WE HAVE A TON TO DO
TO MAKE IT LOOK PRESENTABLE
600
00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:28,166
AND THIS WEEK
IS GONNA BE CRAZY.
601
00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:30,500
- OKAY, THEN--
THEN LET ME HELP YOU.
602
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,834
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- WHATEVER YOU NEED.
603
00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:34,875
I WANT TO HELP SHARE THE LOAD.
604
00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:36,709
IN FACT, I WOULD LIKE
YOUR PERMISSION
605
00:26:36,709 --> 00:26:38,250
TO SPEND A LITTLE
EXTRA TIME WITH THE KIDS
606
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:39,458
'CAUSE I WANT TO GIVE THEM
607
00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,834
THE BEST CHRISTMAS
THEY HAVE EVER HAD.
608
00:26:40,834 --> 00:26:42,333
- BUT I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE CHRISTMAS.
609
00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:44,000
AND WITH YOUR
NEW MALL SANTA JOB
610
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,083
AND ALL THE OTHER PROJECTS
YOU ALWAYS GET UP TO
611
00:26:46,083 --> 00:26:48,333
I HIRED BABYSITTERS
FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.
612
00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:49,583
- WELL, HEY, CANCEL THEM ALL.
613
00:26:49,583 --> 00:26:51,375
'CAUSE THAT IS ALL
ABOUT TO CHANGE.
614
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:54,375
IN FACT, WHY DON'T I TAKE
THE KIDS OFF YOUR HANDS TONIGHT?
615
00:26:56,917 --> 00:26:58,083
- SURE, YOU'RE ON.
616
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,375
- YEAH.
617
00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:03,041
LINDA, IT IS GOING TO BE
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.
618
00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:04,792
OH, I'M GONNA BE LATE.
619
00:27:04,792 --> 00:27:07,250
I GOTTA GET FITTED
FOR MY SANTA SUIT.
620
00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:11,834
JOE, BYE, BUDDY.
BYE, SALLY!
621
00:27:11,834 --> 00:27:13,500
[laughing]
622
00:27:15,417 --> 00:27:17,500
[grunts]
WHERE'S EDDIE?
623
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:18,834
HE'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
624
00:27:18,834 --> 00:27:20,333
FIRST WE GOTTA
GET YOU SUITED UP.
625
00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:23,875
YOU'RE A LOT THINNER
THAN KRIS.
626
00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:26,000
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME OF MY AUNT
FANNY'S APPLE PIE.
627
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,542
THAT SHOULD PUT
SOME MORE MEAT ON YOUR BONES.
628
00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:30,709
PEOPLE EXPECT
A JOLLY, FAT SANTA.
629
00:27:30,709 --> 00:27:33,083
AND WHERE IS YOUR BEARD?
630
00:27:33,083 --> 00:27:35,083
YOU'RE NOT EVEN
TRYING TO GROW ONE.
631
00:27:35,083 --> 00:27:37,667
I'LL BE BACK TO FINISH
YOUR FITTING.
632
00:27:37,667 --> 00:27:39,709
- ALL RIGHT, I HAVE THE OWNER'S
MANUAL TO SANTA'S SLEIGH.
633
00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:42,375
YOU BETTER START READING IT.
634
00:27:42,375 --> 00:27:44,291
THE SLEIGH IS POWERED BY
THE NORTH POLE'S MAGNETIC FIELD
635
00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:46,875
SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A WORKING
KNOWLEDGE OF ASTROPHYSICS.
636
00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:48,959
- WHAT ABOUT THE REINDEER?
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
637
00:27:48,959 --> 00:27:51,250
THEY ARE USED ONLY
FOR EMERGENCY BACKUP PURPOSES.
638
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:52,542
SANTA JUST LIKES THEM THERE
FOR TRADITION.
639
00:27:52,542 --> 00:27:53,542
- OH.
640
00:27:53,542 --> 00:27:54,959
- ALL RIGHT,
WHAT WE HAVE NOW IS
641
00:27:54,959 --> 00:27:58,583
THE LATEST LETTERS TO SANTA
FOR YOUR ATTENTION.
642
00:27:58,583 --> 00:28:01,000
- WAIT. I HAVE AN IDEA.
643
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,542
THIS YEAR EVERYBODY
GETS WHATEVER THEY WANT.
644
00:28:03,542 --> 00:28:04,709
- WELL, NO, YOU HAVE TO
CROSS-CHECK THE LETTERS
645
00:28:04,709 --> 00:28:07,083
AGAINST THE NAUGHTY
AND NICE LIST.
646
00:28:07,083 --> 00:28:08,542
- NOBODY'S NAUGHTY.
EVERYBODY GETS A BREAK.
647
00:28:08,542 --> 00:28:10,083
- BUT--
648
00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:11,792
- LOOK, I HAVE SEEN A LOT
OF DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY LIFE.
649
00:28:11,792 --> 00:28:14,834
THIS YEAR NO ONE
GETS DISAPPOINTED. UNDERSTOOD?
650
00:28:14,834 --> 00:28:16,834
- FINE, THEN I'M GONNA
NEED YOUR AUTHORIZATION
651
00:28:16,834 --> 00:28:17,834
TO BRING IN MORE ELVES.
652
00:28:17,834 --> 00:28:19,667
- YEAH, SURE,
WHATEVER IT TAKES.
653
00:28:19,667 --> 00:28:22,417
MORE THE MERRIER, JUST MAKE SURE
THEY'RE WELL PAID.
654
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,792
- WE'RE PAID IN COOKIES.
655
00:28:23,792 --> 00:28:25,625
- OKAY, GOOD,
SO WE GOT THAT COVERED.
656
00:28:25,625 --> 00:28:27,000
JUST TAKE ME HOME.
657
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,792
- THIS IS YOUR NEW HOME.
658
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:31,750
- NO, NO,
I NEED TO GO HOME-HOME.
659
00:28:31,750 --> 00:28:33,834
- DAN, YOU ARE SANTA.
660
00:28:33,834 --> 00:28:35,792
- I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL
CHRISTMAS WISH
661
00:28:35,792 --> 00:28:36,834
I HAVE TO FULFILL.
662
00:28:36,834 --> 00:28:38,083
- AND WHAT'S THAT?
663
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:40,083
- I HAVE TO WIN BACK
MY FAMILY.
664
00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,542
AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
665
00:28:41,542 --> 00:28:43,458
- AND WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS
FOR THE REST OF THE PLANET?
666
00:28:43,458 --> 00:28:46,917
- WELL, LIKE I SAID,
EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE.
667
00:28:46,917 --> 00:28:48,083
YOU GOT THAT COVERED, RIGHT?
668
00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,458
GOOD, OKAY. GOTTA GO.
669
00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:51,083
SPARKLE ME BACK,
OR WHATEVER YOU DO.
670
00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:52,500
- [sighs]
- NOW.
671
00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:54,166
- OY VEY.
672
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,917
- OY VEY?
673
00:28:55,917 --> 00:29:00,667
- I'M A HANUKKAH ELF TOO,
ON MY FATHER'S SIDE.
674
00:29:00,667 --> 00:29:02,375
- OH!
[crashes]
675
00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,083
EDDIE!
676
00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:08,166
EDDIE, YOU REALLY NEED
TO WORK ON YOUR SPARKLING.
677
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:11,125
[sighs]
ALL RIGHT.
678
00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:13,959
GET TO WORK, SANTA.
679
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,834
- I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, SIR.
I JUST--
680
00:29:19,834 --> 00:29:23,667
I'M WORRIED THAT MR. RYEBECK
ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT.
681
00:29:23,667 --> 00:29:27,875
- JUST GIVE HIM TIME, EDDIE.
JUST GIVE HIM TIME.
682
00:29:27,875 --> 00:29:29,166
HOT, HOT.
683
00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:36,417
- [chuckles]
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, LINDA.
684
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:37,792
- HELLO, DAN.
WHAT'S WITH THE SANTA SUIT?
685
00:29:37,792 --> 00:29:39,750
- I AM JUST
GETTING IN THE SPIRIT
686
00:29:39,750 --> 00:29:41,166
FOR MY MALL SANTA JOB.
687
00:29:41,166 --> 00:29:43,709
- HEY, SLICK. WHAT'S UP, SALLY?
YOU GUYS READY TO GO?
688
00:29:43,709 --> 00:29:44,834
- WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO?
689
00:29:44,834 --> 00:29:46,875
- WE ARE GONNA HAVE
A LITTLE SURPRISE.
690
00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:48,041
JOE, DO YOU GOT
THE VIDEO GAME?
691
00:29:48,041 --> 00:29:49,291
- IN MY BACKPACK.
692
00:29:49,291 --> 00:29:51,709
- ALL RIGHT. COME ON, GANG.
693
00:29:52,959 --> 00:29:55,625
- BYE.
694
00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:58,125
[door closes]
695
00:30:03,792 --> 00:30:05,000
- OKAY, COME ON IN.
696
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,375
NO PEEKING.
697
00:30:07,375 --> 00:30:09,458
READY? UNCOVER YOUR EYES.
698
00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:12,458
TA-DAH!
699
00:30:12,458 --> 00:30:13,792
- WOW.
700
00:30:13,792 --> 00:30:15,500
- YOU SEE ALL THOSE PRESENTS
OVER THERE?
701
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,208
THEY'RE ALL YOURS.
702
00:30:17,208 --> 00:30:18,750
- ALL OF THEM?
- ALL OF THEM.
703
00:30:18,750 --> 00:30:20,834
IT'S EVERY GIFT
YOU'VE EVER WANTED.
704
00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:23,333
FROM EVERY CHRISTMAS LIST YOU'VE
WRITTEN IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS.
705
00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:24,583
- WHOA.
706
00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:25,667
- COME ON,
WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR?
707
00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:28,750
GO, YOUR PRESENTS AWAIT.
708
00:30:31,750 --> 00:30:34,750
[rock and roll music]
709
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:38,208
♪ ♪
710
00:30:38,208 --> 00:30:43,750
- ♪ HEY SANTA TIME TO JUMP
ON YOUR BIG OLD SLEIGH ♪
711
00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:49,166
♪ YOU GOT A LOT OF TOYS
TO DELIVER BY CHRISTMAS DAY ♪
712
00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:54,750
♪ COME ON SANTA IT'S ALMOST
CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN ♪
713
00:30:54,750 --> 00:30:58,000
♪ YOU HAD ALL YEAR TO MAKE
THE TOYS FOR THE KIDS ♪
714
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,875
♪ IN ALL THAT TIME
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID ♪
715
00:31:00,875 --> 00:31:02,250
- WAAH!
716
00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:05,792
- [laughs]
- WHOO.
717
00:31:05,792 --> 00:31:07,542
I NEED A BREAK.
718
00:31:07,542 --> 00:31:10,291
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
THAT VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER
719
00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:12,417
IS A LOT MORE ADVANCED THAN
THAT OLD ONE TREVOR GOT YOU.
720
00:31:12,417 --> 00:31:14,291
- [laughs]
721
00:31:14,291 --> 00:31:15,291
- HEY, SALLY,
YOU WANT TO COME JOIN US?
722
00:31:15,291 --> 00:31:16,625
- NO, THANKS, DAD.
723
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,709
- WANT ANYTHING TO DRINK?
724
00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,959
WARM CIDER? EGG NOG?
JUICE BOX?
725
00:31:19,959 --> 00:31:21,083
- DAD, PLEASE.
726
00:31:21,083 --> 00:31:22,959
- YOU KNOW, DAD,
IT'S FUN TO HAVE TIME
727
00:31:22,959 --> 00:31:24,208
TO JUST HANG OUT WITH YOU.
728
00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:27,291
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.
729
00:31:27,291 --> 00:31:29,625
- WELL MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO
MENTION THAT TO MOM.
730
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,625
- I'LL TELL HER
AS SOON AS SHE GETS HOME.
731
00:31:31,625 --> 00:31:33,000
WANT TO PLAY
SQUIRE OF WESSEX?
732
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,125
- I SURE DO.
733
00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,250
WHEN SHE GETS HOME?
WHERE IS SHE?
734
00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:37,458
- MOM WENT OUT TO DINNER
WITH HER BOSS.
735
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:41,375
- OH, DINNER.
WITH TREVOR.
736
00:31:41,375 --> 00:31:42,709
- EH, YEAH.
737
00:31:42,709 --> 00:31:45,000
HEY, YOU WANT TO PLAY
SQUIRE OF WESSEX NOW?
738
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,166
- HOLD THAT THOUGHT,
LITTLE BUDDY.
739
00:31:46,166 --> 00:31:49,166
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
740
00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:56,500
[dials phone]
741
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:58,417
[cell phone rings]
742
00:31:58,417 --> 00:31:59,417
HELLO, DAN.
743
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:00,667
- EDDIE,
WHERE THE HECK ARE YA?
744
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:02,750
- I'M IN THE NORTH POLE
DOING YOUR JOB.
745
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:03,834
- YOU KEEP TABS ON EVERYBODY,
RIGHT?
746
00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,125
- SO?
747
00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:07,500
- LINDA IS OUT TO DINNER
WITH HER BOSS
748
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:08,792
AT A FRENCH RESTAURANT.
749
00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:09,834
I MEAN, DO THE MATH.
750
00:32:09,834 --> 00:32:11,208
HIS NAME IS TREVOR WINTHROP.
751
00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:12,750
I WANT YOU TO CHECK THE NAUGHTY
LIST, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
752
00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:15,000
- THAT IS A FLAGRANT MISUSE
OF THE NAUGHTY LIST.
753
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,667
MR. KRINGLE
WOULD NEVER APPROVE IT.
754
00:32:16,667 --> 00:32:19,834
- EDDIE, NEVER MESS WITH THE MAN
WHO PASSES OUT THE COOKIES.
755
00:32:19,834 --> 00:32:23,041
- OH, OKAY, YOU JUST WANT ME
TO BREAK RULE TEN.
756
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,750
[typing]
757
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:25,875
TREVOR WINTHROP.
758
00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:29,917
HE'S AN OXFORD GRADUATE,
A CRICKET STAR,
759
00:32:29,917 --> 00:32:32,041
AND HE DOES A LOT OF PRO BONO
WORK FOR DIFFERENT CHARITIES.
760
00:32:32,041 --> 00:32:34,500
- CRICKET? ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ABOUT THE BAD STUFF?
761
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:37,041
- THERE'S NOTHING BAD.
HE'S A PRETTY AMAZING GUY.
762
00:32:37,041 --> 00:32:38,875
- OKAY, WELL, WHERE IS
THIS AMAZING GUY NOW?
763
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:40,834
- OH, YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO JUST BREAK INTO HIS FILE,
764
00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:42,417
YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME
TO TRACK HIM, SURE.
765
00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:43,583
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT.
766
00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:46,041
LET ME JUST GO AHEAD
AND DO THAT FOR YOU.
767
00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:49,041
HE'S AT THE CORNER OF MAIN
STREET AND THIRD, HEADING WEST.
768
00:32:49,041 --> 00:32:51,083
- I WANT YOU TO GET DOWN HERE
NOW, TO MY APARTMENT.
769
00:32:51,083 --> 00:32:53,166
I NEED YOUR HELP.
AND THAT'S AN ORDER.
770
00:32:53,166 --> 00:32:55,500
- YOU GET A LITTLE
TASTE OF POWER...
771
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,333
[door opens]
772
00:32:57,333 --> 00:32:59,250
- HEY, SAL, JOE.
773
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:00,583
I'VE GOT A LITTLE
ERRAND TO RUN.
774
00:33:00,583 --> 00:33:02,250
I'LL BE BACK IN TWO SHAKES
OF A REINDEER'S TAIL.
775
00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:04,959
- BUT DAD, YOU SAID WE WERE
GONNA PLAY SQUIRE OF WESSEX.
776
00:33:04,959 --> 00:33:06,917
- I KNOW, PAL, I'M SORRY.
777
00:33:06,917 --> 00:33:08,625
MY BUDDY'S GONNA STOP BY,
BABYSIT.
778
00:33:08,625 --> 00:33:09,917
HE'LL BE HAPPY
TO PLAY WITH YOU.
779
00:33:09,917 --> 00:33:12,291
- DAD, BABYSIT? I'M 14.
780
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:14,166
- SAL--
[crashes]
781
00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:15,250
YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
782
00:33:15,250 --> 00:33:16,417
[knock on door]
783
00:33:16,417 --> 00:33:19,250
COME IN.
784
00:33:19,250 --> 00:33:21,417
- I MAY HAVE TAKEN OUT
YOUR NEIGHBOR'S DECORATIONS
785
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:23,959
BY ACCIDENT.
786
00:33:23,959 --> 00:33:26,125
- GUYS, THIS IS MY FRIEND EDDIE.
- HI, KIDS.
787
00:33:26,125 --> 00:33:27,583
- HE'S GONNA LOOK OUT FOR YOU
WHILE I'M GONE.
788
00:33:27,583 --> 00:33:29,125
both: HE IS?
789
00:33:29,125 --> 00:33:32,083
- I'LL BE BACK FASTER THAN A
PARTRIDGE CAN FIND A PEAR TREE.
790
00:33:32,083 --> 00:33:37,083
DO ME A FAVOR, JUST CLEAN
THE PLACE UP A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?
791
00:33:43,458 --> 00:33:46,417
- WELL...
792
00:33:46,417 --> 00:33:48,792
HEH.
793
00:33:51,291 --> 00:33:53,625
- THANK YOU
FOR COMING TONIGHT.
794
00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:55,500
I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.
795
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:59,041
NOW, A NEW YEAR
MEANS A FRESH START.
796
00:33:59,041 --> 00:34:02,000
NEW OPPORTUNITIES.
797
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,583
- OH, WELL,
I'VE CERTAINLY ENJOYED
798
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,917
WORKING FOR THE FIRM THIS YEAR,
AND I HOPE TO CONTINUE TO DO SO.
799
00:34:05,917 --> 00:34:09,291
- WELL, SEE, I THINK YOU HAVEN'T
BEEN FULLY APPRECIATED.
800
00:34:09,291 --> 00:34:10,583
- OH, I'VE NEVER
FELT THAT WAY.
801
00:34:10,583 --> 00:34:13,083
- YOU'RE THE WHOLE PACKAGE,
LINDA.
802
00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:17,125
SMARTS, TENACITY, STYLE.
- THANK YOU.
803
00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:20,917
- AND THE WAY YOU LANDED
RIVERSIDE TOWERS, TOP NOTCH.
804
00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,792
[chuckles]
805
00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:27,125
AND I THINK THAT YOU'RE
CUT OUT FOR SOMETHING MORE.
806
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:30,000
- OH?
807
00:34:33,333 --> 00:34:35,834
OH, WELL...
808
00:34:35,834 --> 00:34:38,375
THANK YOU.
809
00:34:40,166 --> 00:34:41,333
WHAT IS IT?
810
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:42,834
- WELL, IT--
811
00:34:42,834 --> 00:34:44,375
UM, THAT'S A PIECE OF COAL.
812
00:34:44,375 --> 00:34:47,625
IT WAS A DIAMOND,
BUT IT'S A PIECE OF COAL.
813
00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:48,709
- [laughs]
814
00:34:48,709 --> 00:34:52,166
- I SHOULD GET GOING.
815
00:34:52,166 --> 00:34:55,875
I'M TELLING YOU, THERE WAS
A DIAMOND WHEN I BOUGHT IT.
816
00:34:55,875 --> 00:34:57,625
I'M STILL NOT QUITE SURE
WHAT HAPPENED THERE.
817
00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:00,125
- HUH. YEAH, WELL,
CAVEAT EMPTOR.
818
00:35:00,125 --> 00:35:03,166
BLACK GOES
WITH EVERYTHING, RIGHT?
819
00:35:03,166 --> 00:35:06,709
[both chuckle]
820
00:35:06,709 --> 00:35:08,875
- I-I SHOULD GO.
821
00:35:08,875 --> 00:35:12,250
LOOK, TREVOR,
YOU'RE A GREAT GUY.
822
00:35:12,250 --> 00:35:14,083
BUT YOU'RE MY BOSS.
823
00:35:14,083 --> 00:35:16,750
AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T
AWKWARD ENOUGH
824
00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:18,625
I MEAN, SOMETIMES
I CATCH MYSELF THINKING
825
00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:20,542
THERE MIGHT STILL BE
A CHANCE WITH DAN
826
00:35:20,542 --> 00:35:23,500
AND...
- I UNDERSTAND. COMPLETELY.
827
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:27,125
AND IT'S JUST
AN OPINION, BUT...
828
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,417
I THINK YOU DESERVE SOMEONE
829
00:35:29,417 --> 00:35:33,083
WHO CAN TREAT YOU LIKE
THE ROYALTY THAT YOU ARE.
830
00:35:33,083 --> 00:35:34,917
- WELL, THANKS.
831
00:35:34,917 --> 00:35:37,542
- OOH, YOU'RE SHIVERING.
COLD?
832
00:35:37,542 --> 00:35:40,458
- A LITTLE.
833
00:35:42,834 --> 00:35:47,709
- I'LL MAKE IT REALLY COLD.
834
00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:49,875
- IT'S SNOWING.
835
00:35:49,875 --> 00:35:51,208
- MAYBE WE'LL HAVE
A WHITE CHRISTMAS.
836
00:35:51,208 --> 00:35:53,041
- IT SEEMS PRETTY LOCALIZED.
837
00:35:53,041 --> 00:35:54,208
LIKE JUST IN FRONT
OF THIS BUILDING.
838
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:56,583
- I DON'T REMEMBER THAT
IN THE FORECAST.
839
00:35:56,583 --> 00:35:58,542
- I SHOULD BE GETTING HOME.
840
00:35:58,542 --> 00:36:00,250
- GOOD-BYE.
841
00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:02,542
TAXI.
842
00:36:02,542 --> 00:36:06,959
- HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
843
00:36:17,542 --> 00:36:20,000
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
844
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,583
WHY AREN'T YOU UPSTAIRS
WATCHING MY KIDS?
845
00:36:21,583 --> 00:36:23,000
- THEY HAVEN'T
LIFTED THEIR HEADS
846
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,458
FROM THEIR VIDEO GAME
SINCE YOU LEFT, THEY'RE FINE.
847
00:36:24,458 --> 00:36:26,792
YOU ARE IN A TAILSPIN.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
848
00:36:26,792 --> 00:36:28,083
- YOU'RE ALL ABOUT
PERSONAL GAIN AGAIN.
849
00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:29,208
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
850
00:36:29,208 --> 00:36:30,917
- YOU TURNED A WHEEL LOCK
INTO A WREATH.
851
00:36:30,917 --> 00:36:34,333
YOU TOOK A DIAMOND AND CHANGED
IT INTO A PIECE OF COAL.
852
00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:35,500
- THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD,
RIGHT?
853
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:36,792
- YOU GOTTA STOP.
854
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:38,375
YOU'RE PUTTING THINGS
SO FAR OUT OF ALIGNMENT
855
00:36:38,375 --> 00:36:39,959
WE'LL BE LUCKY
TO DELIVER CHRISTMAS.
856
00:36:39,959 --> 00:36:42,291
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
857
00:36:42,291 --> 00:36:44,625
- WHEN YOU USE
CHRISTMAS MAGIC SELFISHLY,
858
00:36:44,625 --> 00:36:46,125
IT MAKES IT LESS STABLE,
859
00:36:46,125 --> 00:36:47,834
MORE PRONE TO ACCIDENTS
AND MISHAPS.
860
00:36:47,834 --> 00:36:49,417
IT MAKES IT HARDER
FOR US TO WORK.
861
00:36:49,417 --> 00:36:50,750
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
862
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:54,792
WE NEED YOU TO SHOW UP
AND BE SANTA CLAUSE THIS YEAR.
863
00:36:54,792 --> 00:36:57,542
- IT'S A LOT TO ASK FROM...
864
00:36:57,542 --> 00:36:59,291
FROM AN OUT-OF-WORK
TRAVEL AGENT.
865
00:36:59,291 --> 00:37:03,917
- YOU JUST GOTTA SHOW UP.
866
00:37:03,917 --> 00:37:04,917
- ALL RIGHT.
867
00:37:04,917 --> 00:37:06,000
ALL RIGHT.
868
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,500
NIGHT.
869
00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:12,291
- DAN, ONE MORE THING.
870
00:37:12,291 --> 00:37:15,834
WHEN YOU USE CHRISTMAS MAGIC
TO BUY YOUR FAMILY'S LOVE,
871
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:19,375
IT NOT ONLY WEAKENS THE MAGIC.
872
00:37:19,375 --> 00:37:23,667
IT MAKES IT HARDER
TO ACTUALLY MEND WITH THEM.
873
00:37:23,667 --> 00:37:27,792
- LOOK, I GOTTA GET THE KIDS
BACK TO LINDA'S PLACE.
874
00:37:27,792 --> 00:37:30,542
THANKS.
875
00:37:39,792 --> 00:37:40,792
both: HEY, MOM.
876
00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:44,375
- HI, KIDS.
877
00:37:44,375 --> 00:37:46,875
- SO HOW WAS YOUR EVENING?
878
00:37:46,875 --> 00:37:48,166
- ODD.
I GOT CAUGHT IN THE
879
00:37:48,166 --> 00:37:50,208
BLIZZARD OF THE CENTURY, AMONG
OTHER THINGS.
880
00:37:50,208 --> 00:37:52,834
- I SAW THAT ON THE NEWS.
CRAZY, HUH?
881
00:37:52,834 --> 00:37:54,750
- I HOPE YOUR EVENING
WAS BETTER THAN MINE WAS.
882
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:57,083
- KIDS AND I--
- IT WAS VERY INTERESTING.
883
00:37:57,083 --> 00:37:59,208
WE GOT TO MEET
A NEW BABYSITTER.
884
00:37:59,208 --> 00:38:01,792
- YEAH, I HAD TO POP OUT
FOR, LIKE, 30 MINUTES OR SO
885
00:38:01,792 --> 00:38:02,875
TO RUN SOME ERRANDS.
886
00:38:02,875 --> 00:38:04,208
LEFT THE KIDS
WITH MY FRIEND EDDIE.
887
00:38:04,208 --> 00:38:05,750
- DAN, YOU LEFT THE KIDS
WITH A STRANGER?
888
00:38:05,750 --> 00:38:08,125
- NO, HE'S NOT A STRANGER,
HE'S A GOOD FRIEND.
889
00:38:08,125 --> 00:38:09,250
AND HE'S REALLY
GOOD WITH KIDS.
890
00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:12,083
MIGHT EVEN QUALIFY
AS AN EXPERT.
891
00:38:12,083 --> 00:38:15,041
BESIDES, I HAD SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT TO DO.
892
00:38:15,041 --> 00:38:17,333
- DAN, NOT MORE GIFTS.
- LOOK, LINDA...
893
00:38:17,333 --> 00:38:18,500
SOMETHING BIG HAS HAPPENED
AND I THINK
894
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:19,542
WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER
TO DISCUSS IT.
895
00:38:19,542 --> 00:38:23,250
- WHAT IS THIS?
- OPEN IT.
896
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:25,375
IT'S AN INVITATION.
- DAN.
897
00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:27,542
- OH, COME ON.
IT'S ONE DINNER.
898
00:38:27,542 --> 00:38:29,500
I'LL SIGN THE PAPERS
AFTER THE HOLIDAYS,
899
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,041
SO ONE DINNER'S NOT GONNA
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
900
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:33,375
- I DON'T KNOW, I HAVE A LOT ON
MY MIND AND A LOT ON MY PLATE.
901
00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:34,709
- COME ON,
YOU COME OVER TOMORROW
902
00:38:34,709 --> 00:38:36,083
I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING
THAT'S BEEN GOING ON.
903
00:38:36,083 --> 00:38:38,583
- I DON'T KNOW.
- DO NOT MAKE ME BEG HERE.
904
00:38:38,583 --> 00:38:40,041
THE KIDS WILL SEE THAT.
THAT WILL NOT BE GOOD.
905
00:38:40,041 --> 00:38:41,583
- FINE.
- TOMORROW NIGHT. GREAT.
906
00:38:41,583 --> 00:38:44,083
ALL RIGHT. BYE, KIDS.
907
00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:46,542
Joe and Sally: BYE, DAD.
908
00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:50,417
- [sighs]
909
00:38:50,417 --> 00:38:51,875
- OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR,
OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR.
910
00:38:51,875 --> 00:38:53,792
- WHAT? ARE YOU
COUNTING REINDEER?
911
00:38:53,792 --> 00:38:55,750
- I'M GOING OVER
THE FULFILLMENT REPORTS.
912
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,417
THIS WHOLE
"EVERYONE GETS EVERYTHING"
913
00:38:57,417 --> 00:38:59,625
IS BACKING UP
OUR SYSTEM BIG TIME.
914
00:38:59,625 --> 00:39:01,875
- I UNDERSTAND,
BUT SANTA WAS EXPLICIT.
915
00:39:01,875 --> 00:39:03,917
FOLLOW MR. RYEBECK'S ORDERS
AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.
916
00:39:03,917 --> 00:39:05,083
[sighs]
917
00:39:05,083 --> 00:39:07,125
- WE'RE LIKE
A RUDDERLESS SLEIGH.
918
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:10,041
- ...CAREENING DOWN A MOUNTAIN.
- ...MADE OF POWDERED SUGAR.
919
00:39:10,041 --> 00:39:12,542
- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT
A POSITIVE SPIN ON EVERYTHING?
920
00:39:12,542 --> 00:39:14,583
- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA
GO CHECK IN ON THE NEW BOSS.
921
00:39:14,583 --> 00:39:18,750
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE LAST NIGHT.
922
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:22,125
- SO...
923
00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:23,291
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
924
00:39:23,291 --> 00:39:27,542
BLAZER OR...
925
00:39:27,542 --> 00:39:28,917
JUST THE SHIRT?
926
00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:31,417
- YOU'RE WASTING TIME.
CHRISTMAS IS FOUR DAYS AWAY.
927
00:39:31,417 --> 00:39:33,959
WE HAVE SHIPMENTS TO TRACK
AND SCHEDULES TO KEEP.
928
00:39:33,959 --> 00:39:35,792
- MM-HMM. AND HOW THOSE
NEW ELVES WORKING OUT?
929
00:39:35,792 --> 00:39:37,291
- THEY'RE PUTTING IN
A LOT OF OVERTIME
930
00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:38,458
BUT THEY'RE GETTING
COOKIES AND A HALF.
931
00:39:38,458 --> 00:39:39,542
- PERFECT.
932
00:39:39,542 --> 00:39:40,750
- YEAH, UNTIL WE
RUN OUT OF COOKIES.
933
00:39:40,750 --> 00:39:42,125
- WHAT HAPPENS THEN?
934
00:39:42,125 --> 00:39:43,834
- IMAGINE THE WORLD'S
LARGEST SUGAR CRASH.
935
00:39:43,834 --> 00:39:45,458
AND WE HAVE A NEW PROBLEM.
936
00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:49,750
THE DISTRIBUTION CENTERS--
THEY'RE OVERWHELMED WORLDWIDE.
937
00:39:49,750 --> 00:39:51,458
HAVE YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED
THE CONSEQUENCES
938
00:39:51,458 --> 00:39:54,458
OF GIVING EVERYONE
EVERYTHING THEY ASK FOR?
939
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:57,750
- LET'S SEE, JOY, HAPPINESS,
DANCING IN THE STREETS?
940
00:39:57,750 --> 00:40:00,375
SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
941
00:40:00,375 --> 00:40:02,000
- YOU MIGHT WANT
TO RETHINK THAT.
942
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,083
- EDDIE, I'VE GOT IMPORTANT
THINGS TO FOCUS ON.
943
00:40:04,083 --> 00:40:06,125
HELP ME OUT HERE. SPRUCE UP
THE WINDOWS OR SOMETHING.
944
00:40:06,125 --> 00:40:07,458
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
945
00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:10,583
- I AM RECREATING MY PERFECT
FIRST DATE WITH LINDA.
946
00:40:10,583 --> 00:40:14,333
I AM GONNA BLOW HER AWAY.
JUST LIKE I DID BACK IN THE DAY.
947
00:40:14,333 --> 00:40:17,458
- WE HAVE CHRISTMAS.
948
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:19,834
DAN, YOU'RE SANTA.
949
00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:23,083
- OKAY, CHAMPAGNE ON ICE,
CHECK.
950
00:40:23,083 --> 00:40:25,667
LOBSTER THERMIDOR
IN THE OVEN AND...
951
00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:27,333
[blows dust]
952
00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:28,500
A LITTLE SINATRA
FOR MUSIC. HUH?
953
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:29,834
IT'S HER FAVORITE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
954
00:40:29,834 --> 00:40:30,834
- I THINK I'M GONNA
HEAD BACK TO THE NORTH POLE
955
00:40:30,834 --> 00:40:32,250
AND TRY AND HOLD DOWN
THE FORT.
956
00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:36,000
YOU HAVE TO COME BY TONIGHT
AFTER ALL THIS. OR ELSE.
957
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,792
- OKAY, OKAY, GOOD, JUST GO.
958
00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:44,333
- ROB, UPDATE.
959
00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,542
- SIR.
960
00:40:45,542 --> 00:40:47,041
- IS THAT ACCURATE?
- MM-HMM.
961
00:40:47,041 --> 00:40:48,875
- WELL, GET A RAPID ACTION TEAM
ON THAT RIGHT AWAY.
962
00:40:48,875 --> 00:40:49,875
DEB!
- SIR?
963
00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:51,709
- THANK YOU.
- MM-HMM.
964
00:40:51,709 --> 00:40:54,750
- [grunts]
965
00:40:54,750 --> 00:40:56,542
[beeping]
966
00:40:56,542 --> 00:41:00,333
- I AM ON A MOONLIGHT WALK
WITH MY MISSUS, EDDIE.
967
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,375
- OH, I'M SORRY, SIR,
BUT THIS IS URGENT.
968
00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:06,083
AN HOUR AGO AN ENTIRE TOY CACHE
DESTINED FOR GLOUCESTER, ENGLAND
969
00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:08,208
WAS DELIVERED AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE MARIANAS TRENCH.
970
00:41:08,208 --> 00:41:11,709
- THE GLITCH CAN BE DIRECTLY
ATTRIBUTED TO MR. RYEBECK'S IMU.
971
00:41:11,709 --> 00:41:13,709
- IMU?
- INAPPROPRIATE MAGIC USAGE.
972
00:41:13,709 --> 00:41:16,000
- MARIANAS TRENCH, HUH?
973
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,375
WELL, THAT'S ABYSMAL.
974
00:41:17,375 --> 00:41:20,375
[laughs] ABYSMAL.
- TO SAY THE LEAST, SIR...
975
00:41:20,375 --> 00:41:24,083
DAN HAS MISUSED THE CHRISTMAS
MAGIC SO MUCH AND SO OFTEN
976
00:41:24,083 --> 00:41:25,417
I THINK IT MIGHT COLLAPSE.
977
00:41:25,417 --> 00:41:27,291
- ALL RIGHT, WELL,
HERE'S MY DECISION...
978
00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:30,917
CARRY ON WITH DAN.
HE IS YOUR SANTA THIS YEAR.
979
00:41:30,917 --> 00:41:33,542
AND DON'T BE SO GLUM, EDDIE.
- WELL--
980
00:41:33,542 --> 00:41:35,583
- MOST C-DAYS GO OFF
WITHOUT A HITCH.
981
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:36,709
THIS ONE WILL TOO.
982
00:41:36,709 --> 00:41:38,709
NOW YOU HAVE A CACHE OF TOYS
983
00:41:38,709 --> 00:41:43,125
UNDER 36,000 FEET OF WATER
THAT YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH,
984
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,917
AND I HAVE A LITTLE STROLL
TO FINISH.
985
00:41:44,917 --> 00:41:46,750
OH, AND EDDIE?
- YES, SIR.
986
00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:48,083
- DON'T CALL ME AGAIN.
987
00:41:48,083 --> 00:41:49,750
- WHAT? WAIT.
988
00:41:49,750 --> 00:41:50,875
SIR, WAIT!
989
00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:53,667
[sighs]
GREAT. HERE WE GO.
990
00:41:53,667 --> 00:41:56,083
IT'S A GOOD THING THOSE
TOY PALLETS ARE WATERPROOF.
991
00:41:56,083 --> 00:41:58,375
[knock on door]
992
00:41:58,375 --> 00:42:00,834
- HI.
- HI.
993
00:42:00,834 --> 00:42:03,083
THE PLACE LOOKS GREAT.
994
00:42:03,083 --> 00:42:06,083
- LINDA, YOU LOOK PHENOMENAL.
995
00:42:06,083 --> 00:42:07,500
- I'M JUST COMING FROM WORK.
996
00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:09,333
- WELL, I HOPE YOU BROUGHT
YOUR APPETITE
997
00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:11,458
BECAUSE I COOKED UP LOBSTERS,
YOUR FAVORITE.
998
00:42:11,458 --> 00:42:14,875
- OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
- WELL, WHY NOT?
999
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,208
REMINDS ME OF THAT TIME
WE BOTH SURPRISED EACH OTHER
1000
00:42:16,208 --> 00:42:17,625
AND BROUGHT HOME LOBSTERS.
1001
00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:19,667
- GOOD THING I WAS PREGNANT
WITH JOE AT THE TIME
1002
00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,291
AND EATING FOR TWO,
AS I RECALL.
1003
00:42:21,291 --> 00:42:22,959
- HE DOES LOVE HIS LOBSTER,
DOESN'T HE?
1004
00:42:22,959 --> 00:42:26,792
- [laughs]
- COME ON IN.
1005
00:42:26,792 --> 00:42:28,458
NO REASON WE CAN'T CATCH UP
OVER A NICE DINNER
1006
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:30,208
AWAY FROM ALL
THE DISTRACTIONS.
1007
00:42:30,208 --> 00:42:31,542
GOODNESS KNOWS
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE
1008
00:42:31,542 --> 00:42:33,166
PREOCCUPIED WITH MY PROJECTS.
1009
00:42:33,166 --> 00:42:35,250
BUT THAT ALL STOPS NOW.
1010
00:42:35,250 --> 00:42:36,959
- GREAT.
1011
00:42:36,959 --> 00:42:38,792
AND WOW. I MEAN,
YOU REALLY DECORATED.
1012
00:42:38,792 --> 00:42:40,792
THE KIDS TOLD ME
IT LOOKED AMAZING.
1013
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,166
- WELL, WHY NOT?
1014
00:42:42,166 --> 00:42:45,583
HERE, SIT.
1015
00:42:45,583 --> 00:42:49,500
AND, UH--OH, SOME MUSIC.
1016
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:53,166
LOOK AT THAT. SINATRA.
1017
00:42:53,166 --> 00:42:56,667
- ♪ JOLLY OLD ST. NICHOLAS ♪
1018
00:42:56,667 --> 00:43:00,959
♪ LEAN YOUR EAR THIS WAY ♪
- THAT'S STRANGE.
1019
00:43:00,959 --> 00:43:02,000
IT SAYS SINATRA ON THE JACKET.
- ♪ DON'T YOU TELL ♪
1020
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,333
♪ A SINGLE SOUL ♪
1021
00:43:03,333 --> 00:43:05,375
- HOLD ON A SECOND.
- ♪ WHAT I'M GONNA SAY ♪
1022
00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:07,375
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
1023
00:43:07,375 --> 00:43:08,375
[music stops]
1024
00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,709
- OLD THING'S ON THE FRITZ.
1025
00:43:10,709 --> 00:43:12,333
ANYWAY.
1026
00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:14,667
WOULD YOU CARE
FOR SOME CHAMPAGNE?
1027
00:43:14,667 --> 00:43:15,667
- SURE.
1028
00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:20,542
[cork pops]
1029
00:43:20,542 --> 00:43:22,375
- WHOA! WHOA.
1030
00:43:22,375 --> 00:43:27,250
SORRY ABOUT THAT. HERE.
1031
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,709
- THIS SMELLS LIKE EGG NOG.
1032
00:43:29,709 --> 00:43:31,709
- IT SAYS CHAMPAGNE.
1033
00:43:31,709 --> 00:43:35,208
- YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS
WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
1034
00:43:35,208 --> 00:43:36,667
- OH. NO, LINDA.
1035
00:43:36,667 --> 00:43:40,875
YOU CAN'T LEAVE. I'VE COOKED
UP YOUR FAVORITE DISH.
1036
00:43:44,041 --> 00:43:46,667
LOBSTER THERMIDOR. VOILA!
1037
00:43:46,667 --> 00:43:49,166
- THE LOBSTER
LOOKS LIKE FRUITCAKE.
1038
00:43:49,166 --> 00:43:50,208
IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?
1039
00:43:50,208 --> 00:43:51,875
- NO, IT'S--
1040
00:43:51,875 --> 00:43:53,208
- I'M GONNA GET GOING.
1041
00:43:53,208 --> 00:43:55,375
- WAIT, LINDA, NO,
I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
1042
00:43:55,375 --> 00:43:56,750
...I THINK.
1043
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:57,750
WAIT, LINDA, HOLD ON.
1044
00:43:57,750 --> 00:44:01,208
NO, WAIT, LINDA, DON'T GO.
1045
00:44:01,208 --> 00:44:03,041
AT LEAST TAKE THESE PRESENTS
FOR THE KIDS.
1046
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:06,917
- NO MORE PRESENTS, DAN.
1047
00:44:08,083 --> 00:44:11,083
GOOD NIGHT.
1048
00:44:13,125 --> 00:44:15,166
[door closes]
1049
00:44:15,166 --> 00:44:17,500
- WELL, THAT COULD'VE
GONE BETTER.
1050
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,917
I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT?
1051
00:44:19,917 --> 00:44:23,000
SANTA SONGS FOR SINATRA?
EGG NOG FOR CHAMPAGNE?
1052
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,834
- IT'S YOUR CHRISTMAS
MIDAS THING, REMEMBER?
1053
00:44:24,834 --> 00:44:26,959
YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR UNDERPANTS
DIDN'T TURN INTO HOLLY.
1054
00:44:26,959 --> 00:44:29,250
- THE DATE WITH LINDA
WAS A COMPLETE FIASCO.
1055
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,583
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
STOP WHINING.
1056
00:44:30,583 --> 00:44:32,083
THERE'S THREE DAYS
TILL CHRISTMAS.
1057
00:44:32,083 --> 00:44:34,125
YOU HAVE TO START MAKING THINGS
RUN SMOOTHLY AROUND HERE
1058
00:44:34,125 --> 00:44:35,291
AND HONOR YOUR COMMITMENT.
1059
00:44:35,291 --> 00:44:37,542
- COMMITMENT?
1060
00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:39,542
EDDIE, I AM TRYING
TO WIN BACK MY FAMILY, HERE.
1061
00:44:39,542 --> 00:44:41,083
OKAY, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
1062
00:44:41,083 --> 00:44:42,250
THE DATE WITH LINDA
WAS A TRAIN WRECK.
1063
00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:44,375
MY KIDS ARE TREATING ME
LIKE A STRANGER.
1064
00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:46,375
MY FAMILY IS SLIPPING
AWAY FROM ME.
1065
00:44:46,375 --> 00:44:50,208
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING
I'M TRYING IS BACKFIRING.
1066
00:44:50,208 --> 00:44:52,792
I NEED TO TALK TO KRIS.
1067
00:44:52,792 --> 00:44:55,667
- HE'S ON VACATION IN BIMINI.
OH!
1068
00:44:55,667 --> 00:44:57,000
WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY BIMINI.
1069
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,166
- GET HIM ON THE PHONE.
PLEASE.
1070
00:44:59,166 --> 00:45:01,375
- I KNOW THAT HE HAS
A REPUTATION FOR BEING CHEERY,
1071
00:45:01,375 --> 00:45:03,083
BUT TRUST ME,
HE'S A GUY YOU DON'T
1072
00:45:03,083 --> 00:45:04,583
WANT TO BOTHER
WHEN ON VACATION.
1073
00:45:04,583 --> 00:45:07,583
- RULE NUMBER FOUR: AN ELF
CANNOT REFUSE SANTA'S REQUEST.
1074
00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,917
- YOU'RE GONNA INVOKE
RULE NUMBER FOUR?
1075
00:45:09,917 --> 00:45:12,166
- RIGHT,
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
1076
00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:13,166
HE'S NOT GONNA LIKE THIS.
1077
00:45:13,166 --> 00:45:16,458
- JUST DO IT.
1078
00:45:16,458 --> 00:45:17,959
- SIT DOWN.
1079
00:45:17,959 --> 00:45:21,458
NOT THERE. OVER HERE.
1080
00:45:21,458 --> 00:45:23,083
[sighs]
1081
00:45:23,083 --> 00:45:26,458
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
1082
00:45:26,458 --> 00:45:29,917
[typing]
1083
00:45:29,917 --> 00:45:34,166
- EDDIE, THIS BETTER BE
IMPORTANT.
1084
00:45:34,166 --> 00:45:35,166
- SIR, HE INVOKED
RULE NUMBER FOUR.
1085
00:45:35,166 --> 00:45:36,333
- HEY, DAN.
1086
00:45:36,333 --> 00:45:38,125
HOW'S IT GOING?
1087
00:45:38,125 --> 00:45:39,959
[laughs] TAKE IT YOU'RE
ENJOYING YOUR NEW JOB?
1088
00:45:39,959 --> 00:45:42,000
- WELL, UM...
- WELL, I KNOW I CERTAINLY
1089
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,000
AM ENJOYING MYSELF.
1090
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,834
EXCEPT FOR
THE PARASAILING ACCIDENT.
1091
00:45:47,834 --> 00:45:49,333
I GOTTA LOSE A LITTLE WEIGHT.
[laughs]
1092
00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:54,166
- UH, LOOK, KRIS, YOU GOT ME
INTO THIS. I NEED SOME HELP.
1093
00:45:54,166 --> 00:45:56,834
- YEAH--
- WHY IS IT THAT EVERYBODY
1094
00:45:56,834 --> 00:45:58,375
IS YELLING INTO MY EAR
WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
1095
00:45:58,375 --> 00:46:01,000
AND YET I CAN'T EVEN TUNE
INTO WHAT MY OWN FAMILY NEEDS?
1096
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,291
- [groans]
1097
00:46:02,291 --> 00:46:03,333
- KRIS?
1098
00:46:03,333 --> 00:46:05,333
- [chuckles] OH.
1099
00:46:05,333 --> 00:46:09,333
SORRY, DAN. I JUST GOT
A LITTLE SEA WATER IN MY EAR.
1100
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,375
SO, DAN...
1101
00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:14,709
WHAT I'M THINKING HERE
IS THAT YOUR EMOTIONS
1102
00:46:14,709 --> 00:46:17,000
ARE CLOUDING
YOUR SANTA SENSES.
1103
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,208
- OKAY.
SO WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?
1104
00:46:20,208 --> 00:46:22,083
- IT'S AN ART, DAN.
1105
00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:24,709
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE
DRIVING A SLED IN THE DARK
1106
00:46:24,709 --> 00:46:26,583
OR...
1107
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:28,917
GETTING A 44-INCH WAIST
1108
00:46:28,917 --> 00:46:31,750
DOWN INTO A 32-INCH CHIMNEY.
[laughs]
1109
00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:34,375
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
1110
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,125
YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT.
1111
00:46:36,125 --> 00:46:37,625
JUST CHEER UP.
1112
00:46:37,625 --> 00:46:41,542
- BUT THE TRUTH IS IN A FEW DAYS
I'M GONNA LOSE MY FAMILY.
1113
00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:43,166
LIKE A SNOWFLAKE IN A GALE.
1114
00:46:43,166 --> 00:46:47,792
- WELL, YOU KNOW, CHRISTMAS
MAGIC IS VERY POWERFUL.
1115
00:46:47,792 --> 00:46:50,667
BUT THERE'S A GREATER MAGIC
RIGHT THERE.
1116
00:46:50,667 --> 00:46:52,208
- SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
1117
00:46:52,208 --> 00:46:54,208
- IT MEANS, DAN,
THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT
1118
00:46:54,208 --> 00:46:56,417
GOING ABOUT ALL OF THIS
IN THE RIGHT WAY.
1119
00:46:56,417 --> 00:46:59,667
- WELL, I MUST BE BECAUSE
IF I CAN FINALLY GET MY FAMILY
1120
00:46:59,667 --> 00:47:01,125
EVERYTHING THEY'VE EVER WANTED,
1121
00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:03,959
I CAN PROVE TO THEM I'M THE HERO
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
1122
00:47:03,959 --> 00:47:05,417
AND NOT JUST SOME FAILURE
1123
00:47:05,417 --> 00:47:07,375
AND THINGS ARE STILL
NOT GOING MY WAY.
1124
00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,959
- WELL, YOUR INTENTIONS
ARE GREAT, DAN.
1125
00:47:09,959 --> 00:47:14,542
BUT YOU'RE SO BUSY SHOWING OFF
AND TRYING TO BE THE HERO
1126
00:47:14,542 --> 00:47:19,375
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME
TO JUST BE A FATHER.
1127
00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,917
A REAL GIFT IS NOT A TOY.
1128
00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,458
IT'S YOUR GENUINE LOVE.
1129
00:47:26,458 --> 00:47:28,083
- YEAH.
1130
00:47:28,083 --> 00:47:32,625
I-I THINK I GET THAT.
THANK YOU.
1131
00:47:32,625 --> 00:47:36,125
- WELL, IF WE'RE DONE HERE.
1132
00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:37,250
- YES, SIR.
1133
00:47:37,250 --> 00:47:39,166
- I'VE GOT TO GET BACK
TO MY VACATION.
1134
00:47:39,166 --> 00:47:43,166
COWABUNGA! WHOA!
1135
00:47:43,166 --> 00:47:45,667
- WELL, BOSS,
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
1136
00:47:48,417 --> 00:47:50,959
- YOU KNOW, I THINK
YOU SHOULD TAKE ME HOME.
1137
00:47:50,959 --> 00:47:54,458
[magical flourish]
1138
00:47:54,458 --> 00:47:56,291
- WHAT'S WITH THE PICTURE?
1139
00:47:56,291 --> 00:48:00,041
- I REMEMBER BEING SO
DISAPPOINTED WITH THAT SWEATER.
1140
00:48:00,041 --> 00:48:03,000
SEEING THE PICTURE,
I LOOK SO HAPPY.
1141
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,417
- THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE.
1142
00:48:04,417 --> 00:48:07,166
YOU MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN
THE PRESENTS THAT YOU WANTED,
1143
00:48:07,166 --> 00:48:12,166
BUT YOUR PARENTS GAVE YOU
A PRETTY AMAZING GIFT EVERY DAY.
1144
00:48:12,166 --> 00:48:15,166
I MEAN, OF ALL THE PLACES
IN THE WORLD
1145
00:48:15,166 --> 00:48:17,834
THERE'S NOWHERE THAT THIS FAMILY
WOULD RATHER BE THAN TOGETHER.
1146
00:48:17,834 --> 00:48:21,875
IN THE NORTH POLE,
WE CALL THAT LOVE.
1147
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,750
- YEAH.
1148
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:27,458
I INTEND TO GET MY FAMILY
THAT GIFT TOO.
1149
00:48:27,458 --> 00:48:30,041
OH, EDDIE, ONE MORE THING.
1150
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,041
I THINK I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
1151
00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:33,166
I HAVE BEEN A LOUSY MANAGER.
1152
00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:35,542
BUT...
1153
00:48:35,542 --> 00:48:37,208
THAT ALL CHANGES.
1154
00:48:37,208 --> 00:48:39,709
- COOKIES?
1155
00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:41,041
FOR ME?
1156
00:48:41,041 --> 00:48:42,291
- WELL, THEY WERE
JUST BAKED POTATOES,
1157
00:48:42,291 --> 00:48:44,375
BUT WITH THE CHRISTMAS
MIDAS TOUCH...
1158
00:48:44,375 --> 00:48:45,709
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET A MOVE ON.
1159
00:48:45,709 --> 00:48:48,625
WE GOT A CHRISTMAS
TO MAKE HAPPEN.
1160
00:48:48,625 --> 00:48:50,959
- CAN WE FINISH
THE COOKIES FIRST?
1161
00:48:54,542 --> 00:48:57,083
- ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'S THE SITUATION?
1162
00:48:57,083 --> 00:48:58,333
- WELL, NOT GOOD.
1163
00:48:58,333 --> 00:49:00,250
THE CLOCK IS TICKING,
MANUFACTURING'S BEHIND,
1164
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:02,208
AND MORALE IS CRUMBLING
LIKE A GINGERBREAD.
1165
00:49:02,208 --> 00:49:04,500
AND THE WORD IN THE ELF
BREAK ROOM IS YOU'RE A PUSHOVER.
1166
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:06,208
- PUSHOVER?
WHAT DO THEY MEAN BY THAT?
1167
00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:07,875
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
WORKING VERY HARD.
1168
00:49:07,875 --> 00:49:10,875
WHICH MEANS THE ELVES DON'T
THINK THEY HAVE TO WORK HARD.
1169
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:12,333
ALL RIGHT, WHAT CAN I SAY?
1170
00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:14,125
YOU GIVE AN ELF AN INCH,
THEY TAKE A CHRISTMAS MILE.
1171
00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:16,750
AND A CHRISTMAS MILE
IS 3.14 HUMAN MILES.
1172
00:49:16,750 --> 00:49:18,917
- 3.14--ISN'T THAT PI?
1173
00:49:18,917 --> 00:49:20,250
- REALLY? RIGHT NOW?
WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON
1174
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:21,834
YOU'RE GONNA THINK ABOUT HOLIDAY
FOOD?
1175
00:49:21,834 --> 00:49:24,041
YOU HAVE A MEETING
RIGHT NOW.
1176
00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:29,000
- [clears throat]
ELVES...
1177
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,083
WHERE DO WE STAND?
1178
00:49:30,083 --> 00:49:31,709
- THE SUPPLY LINES
ARE ALL BACKED UP.
1179
00:49:31,709 --> 00:49:34,792
I GOT AN ORDER FOR 10 MILLION
BUSTER BOWWOW DOLLS
1180
00:49:34,792 --> 00:49:36,250
SO I SHIFTED MANPOWER
TO HANDLE IT.
1181
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:37,542
AND NOW I FIND OUT
IT WAS A CLERICAL ERROR!
1182
00:49:37,542 --> 00:49:39,208
- SOMEONE HACKED THE DATABASE
1183
00:49:39,208 --> 00:49:41,208
AND TOOK THE CHOCOLATE MACHINES
OFFLINE.
1184
00:49:41,208 --> 00:49:43,417
THAT MEANS ALL COCOA-BASED
STOCKING STUFFERS
1185
00:49:43,417 --> 00:49:44,959
ARE RUNNING LATE.
1186
00:49:44,959 --> 00:49:48,250
- SO BLITZEN'S GOT SYMPTOMS
THAT COULD BE HOOF-AND-MOUTH.
1187
00:49:48,250 --> 00:49:50,000
- AND MAINTENANCE DIDN'T REPLACE
THE NON-STICK FLOOR TILES
1188
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,417
LIKE I REQUESTED
1189
00:49:51,417 --> 00:49:54,583
SO NOW I HAVE BAKING ELVES
SLIPPING ON MELTED BUTTER!
1190
00:49:54,583 --> 00:49:56,667
[all talking at once]
1191
00:49:56,667 --> 00:49:59,542
- HOLD IT!
1192
00:49:59,542 --> 00:50:01,834
I'M IN CHARGE HERE.
1193
00:50:01,834 --> 00:50:04,458
COME ON, GUYS.
1194
00:50:04,458 --> 00:50:06,291
LET'S REMEMBER
OUR PRIORITIES HERE.
1195
00:50:06,291 --> 00:50:09,250
WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
1196
00:50:09,250 --> 00:50:12,583
FOR DELIVERING HAPPINESS
TO OVER 500 MILLION KIDS.
1197
00:50:15,291 --> 00:50:18,959
GUYS, I NEED YOU.
I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.
1198
00:50:18,959 --> 00:50:21,041
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,
1199
00:50:21,041 --> 00:50:23,625
CHRISTMAS WAS ALWAYS
A DISAPPOINTMENT.
1200
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:26,834
BUT NOW WHEN I THINK
OF DISAPPOINTING EVEN ONE CHILD,
1201
00:50:26,834 --> 00:50:28,125
NO.
1202
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:30,041
NO, THAT IS NOT HAPPENING.
1203
00:50:30,041 --> 00:50:31,959
NOT ON MY WATCH.
1204
00:50:31,959 --> 00:50:33,333
SO LISTEN UP.
1205
00:50:33,333 --> 00:50:35,166
I WANT PROGRESS REPORTS
FROM EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU
1206
00:50:35,166 --> 00:50:36,583
BY THE END OF THE DAY.
1207
00:50:36,583 --> 00:50:37,625
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SPECIFIC
BENCHMARKS FOR YOUR TEAM
1208
00:50:37,625 --> 00:50:38,709
AND I WANT TO KNOW
EXACTLY HOW
1209
00:50:38,709 --> 00:50:40,000
WE'RE GOING TO
ACHIEVE OUR GOALS.
1210
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,208
IN THE MEANTIME,
I'M GONNA DRAW UP A BATTLE PLAN.
1211
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:47,208
OH, AND, UH, ONE MORE THING.
1212
00:50:47,208 --> 00:50:49,709
I BROUGHT ALONG
A LITTLE MOTIVATION.
1213
00:50:49,709 --> 00:50:50,959
- [chuckles]
1214
00:50:50,959 --> 00:50:52,333
- ENJOY.
1215
00:50:52,333 --> 00:50:54,000
- OKAY.
- [giggles]
1216
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,667
- ALL RIGHT, TEAM.
LET'S DO THIS.
1217
00:50:56,667 --> 00:50:59,667
[festive music]
1218
00:50:59,667 --> 00:51:07,709
♪ ♪
1219
00:51:50,875 --> 00:51:52,375
- SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE.
1220
00:51:52,375 --> 00:51:55,166
- OH. SORRY.
- WHAT FOR?
1221
00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,417
- WELL, FOR USING
THE MAGIC LIKE THAT.
1222
00:51:56,417 --> 00:51:58,083
- THAT'S HOW IT'S
SUPPOSED TO BE USED.
1223
00:51:58,083 --> 00:51:59,875
WHAT DOES IT PROFIT YOU
TO DECORATE
1224
00:51:59,875 --> 00:52:01,375
LINDA AND TREVOR'S PLACE
LIKE THAT?
1225
00:52:01,375 --> 00:52:02,542
NOTHING.
1226
00:52:02,542 --> 00:52:05,208
- YEAH. I GUESS
I'M GETTING GOOD AT THIS.
1227
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:06,834
- YES, SIR, YOU ARE.
1228
00:52:06,834 --> 00:52:09,083
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
1229
00:52:09,083 --> 00:52:10,166
- WELL, DIDN'T YOU
COME DOWN HERE TO GET ME
1230
00:52:10,166 --> 00:52:11,291
SO WE COULD GO BACK TO WORK?
1231
00:52:11,291 --> 00:52:13,000
- I JUST CAME
DOWN HERE TO TELL YOU
1232
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,792
THAT I THINK YOU'RE
DOING A GREAT JOB.
1233
00:52:14,792 --> 00:52:17,709
IN FACT, CAN I SHOW YOU
SOMETHING?
1234
00:52:17,709 --> 00:52:20,208
- WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?
1235
00:52:20,208 --> 00:52:22,125
- THIS IS MAGIC METRICS.
1236
00:52:22,125 --> 00:52:23,208
OR A CHRISTMAS ANALYTICS,
IF YOU WILL.
1237
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:25,208
- IN ENGLISH, PLEASE.
1238
00:52:25,208 --> 00:52:28,041
- IT BASICALLY SAYS
THAT EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
1239
00:52:28,041 --> 00:52:30,667
THE MAGIC IS RIGHT
WHERE WE NEED IT TO BE
1240
00:52:30,667 --> 00:52:32,750
TO DELIVER CHRISTMAS.
- GREAT.
1241
00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:34,959
- WHICH IS TO SAY WE DON'T
THINK WE NEED YOU TONIGHT.
1242
00:52:34,959 --> 00:52:37,083
WHY DON'T YOU GO SPEND TIME
WITH YOUR FAMILY?
1243
00:52:37,083 --> 00:52:40,750
YOU'VE EARNED IT.
- I--THANKS, EDDIE.
1244
00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:42,917
[knock on door]
1245
00:52:42,917 --> 00:52:45,500
- COME IN.
1246
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:46,500
- HEY.
1247
00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:49,083
- DAN, YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
1248
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:50,917
- I'M DOING DOUBLE DUTY
WITH MY MALL SANTA JOB.
1249
00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:53,458
- MUST BE A BUSY MALL.
1250
00:52:53,458 --> 00:52:54,750
- THE KIDS'LL BE DOWN
IN JUST A MINUTE.
1251
00:52:54,750 --> 00:52:56,083
- GREAT.
1252
00:52:56,083 --> 00:52:59,417
YOU SEEM HAPPY.
1253
00:52:59,417 --> 00:53:03,333
- YEAH, WELL, LAST NIGHT
SOMEBODY VANDALIZED--
1254
00:53:03,333 --> 00:53:06,250
OR SHOULD I SAY DECORATED
THE PROPERTY WE WERE SHOWING
1255
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:07,583
AND TODAY WE GOT
A HUGE TURNOUT.
1256
00:53:07,583 --> 00:53:09,625
- IMAGINE THAT.
1257
00:53:09,625 --> 00:53:12,333
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
1258
00:53:12,333 --> 00:53:14,625
HEY, I JUST WANTED
TO TAKE A MOMENT TO APOLOGIZE.
1259
00:53:14,625 --> 00:53:17,458
DINNER AT MY PLACE
WENT A LITTLE OFF KILTER.
1260
00:53:17,458 --> 00:53:18,458
SO MUCH HAS BEEN HAPPENING
1261
00:53:18,458 --> 00:53:19,959
I JUST--
MY HEAD WAS SPINNING.
1262
00:53:19,959 --> 00:53:21,458
- IT'S OKAY.
1263
00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:24,792
- AND ONE LAST THING.
1264
00:53:24,792 --> 00:53:26,750
I WAS THINKING IT'D BE REALLY
NICE IF WE COULD GET TOGETHER
1265
00:53:26,750 --> 00:53:29,583
AS A FAMILY AND DO SOMETHING
LIKE WE USED TO.
1266
00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,583
I THINK IT'D BE
GOOD FOR THE KIDS.
1267
00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:33,458
- DAN, I DON'T KNOW.
1268
00:53:33,458 --> 00:53:35,667
- NO, NO, NO MORE GIFTS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
1269
00:53:35,667 --> 00:53:37,625
JUST QUALITY TIME
WITH THE FAMILY
1270
00:53:37,625 --> 00:53:39,333
AND THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS.
1271
00:53:39,333 --> 00:53:41,542
YOU REMEMBER ALL THE FUN
WE USED TO HAVE.
1272
00:53:41,542 --> 00:53:44,667
THE ICE SKATING AND CAROLING
AND TREE TRIMMING.
1273
00:53:44,667 --> 00:53:46,083
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?
1274
00:53:46,083 --> 00:53:47,959
- I GUESS EVERYTHING
FELL BY THE WAYSIDE
1275
00:53:47,959 --> 00:53:51,792
WHILE WE WERE TRYING
TO KEEP EVERYTHING ELSE GOING.
1276
00:53:51,792 --> 00:53:53,959
KIDS HAVE BEEN BOUNCED
IN BETWEEN OUR HOUSES
1277
00:53:53,959 --> 00:53:55,458
LIKE A COUPLE
OF PING-PONG BALLS.
1278
00:53:55,458 --> 00:53:59,166
- YEAH. SO TOMORROW NIGHT?
1279
00:53:59,166 --> 00:54:01,166
ICE SKATING?
THEY WOULD LOVE IT.
1280
00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:03,166
- FINE.
- GREAT.
1281
00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:06,792
- SEE YOU LATER.
- YOU GOING OUT TO TREV'S?
1282
00:54:06,792 --> 00:54:08,667
HIS NAME IS TREVOR, DAN.
1283
00:54:08,667 --> 00:54:09,875
AND YES, HE'S MY BOSS.
1284
00:54:09,875 --> 00:54:11,667
WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK
THIS WEEK, SO...
1285
00:54:11,667 --> 00:54:13,333
- OKAY.
1286
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,959
HAVE A GREAT TIME.
1287
00:54:14,959 --> 00:54:17,667
- THANKS, DAN.
1288
00:54:18,667 --> 00:54:22,333
- KIDS, COME ON,
WE GOTTA GO!
1289
00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:25,250
ALL RIGHT.
1290
00:54:25,250 --> 00:54:27,291
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
1291
00:54:27,291 --> 00:54:28,834
COME ON.
1292
00:54:28,834 --> 00:54:30,667
OKAY, GUYS.
1293
00:54:30,667 --> 00:54:32,834
TONIGHT IS GONNA BE GREAT.
1294
00:54:32,834 --> 00:54:33,959
'CAUSE GUESS WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO.
1295
00:54:33,959 --> 00:54:34,959
- MORE SHOPPING?
1296
00:54:34,959 --> 00:54:36,375
- NO.
1297
00:54:36,375 --> 00:54:38,250
- WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA
BUY US MORE GIFTS?
1298
00:54:38,250 --> 00:54:39,542
- NO AGAIN.
1299
00:54:39,542 --> 00:54:41,208
WE ARE GONNA HAVE
AN OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS.
1300
00:54:41,208 --> 00:54:43,250
BECAUSE AS YOUR GRANDPA
RYEBECK USED TO SAY,
1301
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:44,542
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON LOVE.
1302
00:54:44,542 --> 00:54:45,792
- WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR BIG TREE?
1303
00:54:45,792 --> 00:54:47,375
- OH, WELL, THE NEIGHBOR
COULDN'T AFFORD ONE
1304
00:54:47,375 --> 00:54:49,417
SO I GAVE IT TO HER.
I GOT THIS LITTLE GUY.
1305
00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:52,709
- DAD, THIS TREE LOOKS LIKE IT
SHOULD BE PUT OUT OF ITS MISERY.
1306
00:54:52,709 --> 00:54:57,250
- WHAT? COME ON. ALL THIS NEEDS
IS A LITTLE DECORATION.
1307
00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:59,375
WATCH.
1308
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:00,583
- QUALITY.
1309
00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:02,667
- DAD, I'LL HELP YOU
DECORATE YOUR TREE.
1310
00:55:02,667 --> 00:55:05,917
- ALL RIGHT, DECORATIONS
ARE ON THE COUNTER.
1311
00:55:05,917 --> 00:55:08,917
[jazzy Deck the Halls]
1312
00:55:08,917 --> 00:55:11,375
♪ ♪
1313
00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:15,709
- ♪ DECK THE HALLS
WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪
1314
00:55:15,709 --> 00:55:20,583
♪ FA LA-LA LA-LA,
LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA ♪
1315
00:55:20,583 --> 00:55:26,625
♪ 'TIS THE SEASON
TO BE JOLLY ♪
1316
00:55:26,625 --> 00:55:31,500
♪ FA LA-LA LA-LA,
LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA-LA ♪
1317
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:36,166
♪ DON WE NOW
OUR GAY APPAREL ♪
1318
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:40,709
♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA-LA LA-LA ♪
1319
00:55:40,709 --> 00:55:46,500
♪ TROLL THE ANCIENT
YULETIDE CAROL ♪
1320
00:55:46,500 --> 00:55:48,750
♪ FA LA-LA LA-LA,
LA-LA... ♪
1321
00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:50,750
- OH, THAT HURT.
- YES!
1322
00:55:50,750 --> 00:55:51,875
- OH, I GOT A BOW AND ARROW.
1323
00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:53,709
- FLAMES COMING, FLAMES--
WAIT, WAIT.
1324
00:55:53,709 --> 00:55:54,792
WHAT'S--OW!
1325
00:55:54,792 --> 00:55:56,583
WHOA, THAT HURT, JOE.
- YEAH, OH!
1326
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:58,083
- YES!
1327
00:55:58,083 --> 00:56:01,000
- OH! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I SURRENDER. YOU TWO WIN.
1328
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,458
- SEE, JOE?
1329
00:56:02,458 --> 00:56:05,625
THAT'S WHY FORMING ALLIANCES
WITH YOUR SISTER IS SMART.
1330
00:56:05,625 --> 00:56:07,500
BECAUSE WE OWNED DAD.
1331
00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:10,500
- I WOULD SAY THAT'S TRUE
IF I DIDN'T LET YOU TWO WIN.
1332
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:11,959
- SURE, DAD.
1333
00:56:11,959 --> 00:56:14,041
THE TRICK TO WINNING
IS TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
1334
00:56:14,041 --> 00:56:16,000
WHY SWIM THE MOAT
OR SCALE THE WALLS
1335
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,667
WHEN YOU COULD CATAPULT IN?
1336
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:19,667
WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?
1337
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:21,291
- UH, NO THANK YOU.
1338
00:56:21,291 --> 00:56:22,458
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
1339
00:56:22,458 --> 00:56:23,792
CHECKED YOUR MESSAGES
IN FOUR HOURS.
1340
00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:27,333
- OH, I SHOULD DO
A QUICK CHECK-IN.
1341
00:56:27,333 --> 00:56:28,959
AND THEN I'LL JUST
TURN IT RIGHT BACK OFF.
1342
00:56:28,959 --> 00:56:32,125
[cell phone chimes]
1343
00:56:32,125 --> 00:56:33,542
- DUDE, DAD,
I DIG YOUR NEW RINGTONE.
1344
00:56:33,542 --> 00:56:34,542
- OH, THANK YOU.
1345
00:56:34,542 --> 00:56:37,458
[groans]
GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK.
1346
00:56:37,458 --> 00:56:39,875
AFTER I MAKE SOME HOT COCOA.
1347
00:56:39,875 --> 00:56:43,500
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1348
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,917
- HEY, DO YOU THINK
HE LET US WIN?
1349
00:56:45,917 --> 00:56:48,250
- NO, I THINK WE BEAT HIM
FAIR AND SQUARE.
1350
00:57:04,917 --> 00:57:08,041
- NO COCOA.
1351
00:57:30,709 --> 00:57:32,041
- I'M TELLING YOU,
DAD'S DIFFERENT.
1352
00:57:32,041 --> 00:57:34,291
SUDDENLY HE'S CRAZY
FOR CHRISTMAS.
1353
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:38,041
DOESN'T HE SEEM A LITTLE
OVERLY MERRY TO YOU?
1354
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:39,208
- YEAH, MOM SAID
THAT HE WOULD BE
1355
00:57:39,208 --> 00:57:40,959
TAKING THIS MALL
SANTA JOB SERIOUSLY,
1356
00:57:40,959 --> 00:57:44,083
BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THIS.
1357
00:57:44,083 --> 00:57:46,542
- LOOK, I SAW HIM MAKE COCOA
OUT OF TAP WATER.
1358
00:57:46,542 --> 00:57:47,875
- WHAT, DO YOU WANT HIM
TO USE BOTTLED WATER?
1359
00:57:47,875 --> 00:57:51,041
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.
IT WAS MAGIC.
1360
00:57:51,041 --> 00:57:53,917
MY THEORY--
I THINK DAD'S SANTA.
1361
00:57:53,917 --> 00:57:55,333
- OKAY, KIDDO.
1362
00:57:55,333 --> 00:57:57,000
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO BED
BEFORE MOM HEARS YOU
1363
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,291
TALKING LIKE THIS AND ASSUMES
THAT YOU HAVE A FEVER.
1364
00:57:59,291 --> 00:58:00,709
- SERIOUSLY.
LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE.
1365
00:58:00,709 --> 00:58:03,083
HE'S ABLE TO GIVE ANY GIFT
AND HE'S SUPER JOLLY.
1366
00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:05,750
- DAD'S A MALL SANTA, JOE.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
1367
00:58:05,750 --> 00:58:07,250
- YOU SEE HIM
DRIVING REINDEER,
1368
00:58:07,250 --> 00:58:10,667
YOU OWE ME BIG TIME.
1369
00:58:10,667 --> 00:58:14,417
YOU'LL SEE.
1370
00:58:14,417 --> 00:58:15,750
- I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU,
1371
00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:17,458
YOU'RE NOT HALF THE MANAGER
THAT MR. KRINGLE IS,
1372
00:58:17,458 --> 00:58:19,583
BUT YOU'RE GETTING
THE HANG OF THIS.
1373
00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:20,750
- COMING FROM YOU
THAT'S HIGH PRAISE.
1374
00:58:20,750 --> 00:58:21,834
- NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET.
1375
00:58:21,834 --> 00:58:23,083
JUST MAKE SURE
THAT BEFORE YOU LEAVE
1376
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:24,250
YOU CHECK THE TRANSIT SCHEDULE.
1377
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:25,625
- WHAT TRANSIT SCHEDULES?
1378
00:58:25,625 --> 00:58:26,625
- THESE TRANSIT SCHEDULES.
1379
00:58:26,625 --> 00:58:27,875
FROM ALL THE DIFFERENT
DIVISIONS.
1380
00:58:27,875 --> 00:58:29,166
- GAMES, DOLLS, WIND-UPS.
1381
00:58:29,166 --> 00:58:30,667
IT'S THE LAST THING WE CHECK.
1382
00:58:30,667 --> 00:58:32,625
- WAIT, I'M SUPPOSED TO GO
ICE SKATING WITH MY FAMILY SOON.
1383
00:58:32,625 --> 00:58:34,333
- JUST MAKE SURE
THERE'S NO OVERLAP
1384
00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:35,625
IN THE DELIVERY SCHEDULES
AND ROUTES.
1385
00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:37,792
- OKAY, AND MAKE SURE YOU SIGN
OFF ON EVERYTHING
1386
00:58:37,792 --> 00:58:39,583
AFTER YOU'VE HAD A CHANCE
TO REVIEW THEM ALL.
1387
00:58:39,583 --> 00:58:40,750
HAVE FUN.
1388
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:45,291
- THERE'S MORE, SIR.
- MORE?
1389
00:58:46,542 --> 00:58:50,208
- [groans]
I'LL CATCH UP LATER.
1390
00:58:53,583 --> 00:58:56,792
- HELLO.
1391
00:58:56,792 --> 00:58:59,625
- I THOUGHT DAD WAS SUPPOSED TO
COME SKATING WITH US.
1392
00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:03,625
BET YOU HE ISN'T GONNA SHOW UP.
1393
00:59:03,625 --> 00:59:05,709
- HEY, GANG.
1394
00:59:05,709 --> 00:59:07,125
- HEY.
1395
00:59:07,125 --> 00:59:10,291
SINCE WHEN DID YOU GET SO GOOD?
1396
00:59:10,291 --> 00:59:12,625
- WELL, JUST SOMETHING
I PICKED UP ALONG THE WAY.
1397
00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:14,125
COME ON, GUYS.
1398
00:59:14,125 --> 00:59:17,792
- DAN, I SAID
NO MORE PRESENTS.
1399
00:59:17,792 --> 00:59:20,583
- IT'S NOT A PRESENT,
IT'S A GIFT.
1400
00:59:20,583 --> 00:59:22,458
- WELL, IT'S BEEN YEARS
SINCE I SKATED.
1401
00:59:22,458 --> 00:59:25,834
- YOU'LL PICK IT UP IN NO TIME.
COME ON, GUYS. LET'S DO IT.
1402
00:59:27,667 --> 00:59:30,834
ALL RIGHT.
1403
00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:33,333
COME ON, SALLY.
YOU CAN DO IT.
1404
00:59:42,166 --> 00:59:44,166
- I HATE THIS.
I'M GONNA FALL.
1405
00:59:44,166 --> 00:59:47,000
- YOU GOT IT. HERE.
1406
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,333
THERE YOU GO.
1407
00:59:48,333 --> 00:59:50,083
YOU GOT IT. GIVE IT A SEC.
1408
00:59:50,083 --> 00:59:51,500
USED TO SKATE LIKE A PRO
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE.
1409
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:53,166
- YEAH, DAD,
I'M NOT LITTLE ANYMORE.
1410
00:59:53,166 --> 00:59:54,959
- I KNOW.
1411
00:59:54,959 --> 00:59:56,000
- OKAY, MY CENTER
OF BALANCE IS ALL OFF.
1412
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,875
- WHOA, WHOA.
1413
00:59:57,875 --> 01:00:01,125
HEY. YOU ALL RIGHT?
1414
01:00:01,125 --> 01:00:03,834
YOUR GRANDPA RYEBECK USED TO SAY
IF YOU FALL OFF THE HORSE
1415
01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:05,542
YOU GOTTA JUST GET RIGHT BACK UP
AND TRY AGAIN.
1416
01:00:05,542 --> 01:00:07,500
- YEAH, THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.
1417
01:00:07,500 --> 01:00:08,709
- HEY, I'M SPEAKING TO YOU
AS AN EXPERT.
1418
01:00:08,709 --> 01:00:11,875
COME ON, YOU GOT THIS.
JUST FOCUS.
1419
01:00:11,875 --> 01:00:14,041
- I CAN'T. I FEEL LIKE
I'M BEING WATCHED.
1420
01:00:14,041 --> 01:00:15,375
- OKAY. READY?
1421
01:00:15,375 --> 01:00:17,875
I'M NOT WATCHING YOU.
I'M NOT WATCHING YOU.
1422
01:00:17,875 --> 01:00:20,333
I'M TRYING NOT TO WATCH YOU.
1423
01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:25,291
YOU GOT THIS. COME ON.
STEP AND GLIDE.
1424
01:00:25,291 --> 01:00:28,208
THERE YOU GO.
MUSIC WOULD BE NICE. [snaps]
1425
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,375
[rock and roll
Up on the Housetop plays]
1426
01:00:30,375 --> 01:00:32,750
- HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
1427
01:00:32,750 --> 01:00:35,709
- MAGIC.
1428
01:00:35,709 --> 01:00:38,625
- PLEASE, DAD.
YOU PREPROGRAMMED THE PA SYSTEM.
1429
01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:42,208
- YOU REMEMBER THIS SONG?
- HOW COULD I NOT?
1430
01:00:42,208 --> 01:00:43,750
YOU LET ME LISTEN TO IT
EVERY NIGHT.
1431
01:00:43,750 --> 01:00:46,667
- YEAH, I USED TO PLAY THIS
FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERE A BABY.
1432
01:00:46,667 --> 01:00:48,709
JUST FOCUS ON THE MUSIC.
TUNE EVERYTHING ELSE OUT.
1433
01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,792
- ♪ HO, HO, HO
WHO WOULDN'T GO ♪
1434
01:00:50,792 --> 01:00:51,792
- THERE YOU GO.
1435
01:00:51,792 --> 01:00:54,583
[cell phone rings]
1436
01:00:54,583 --> 01:00:56,417
EDDIE, YOU CAN WAIT.
1437
01:00:56,417 --> 01:00:59,792
- YOU GONNA GET THAT?
- NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
1438
01:00:59,792 --> 01:01:03,250
HEY, SPORTO, HOW YOU DOING?
1439
01:01:04,542 --> 01:01:08,917
[elves chattering]
1440
01:01:08,917 --> 01:01:12,166
- COME ON, DAN,
ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
1441
01:01:12,166 --> 01:01:16,375
COME ON.
PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP.
1442
01:01:16,375 --> 01:01:19,583
[cell phone ringing]
- SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE WANTED.
1443
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,000
- I KNOW.
1444
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:25,417
WOW. THEY'RE SO GROWN UP.
WHAT DO THEY NEED US FOR?
1445
01:01:25,417 --> 01:01:27,542
GOT A COUPLE PROS OUT THERE.
1446
01:01:27,542 --> 01:01:30,083
- THEY HAVEN'T BEEN
THIS HAPPY IN A LONG TIME.
1447
01:01:30,083 --> 01:01:32,041
THEY SAID THEY HAD
A BLAST LAST NIGHT.
1448
01:01:32,041 --> 01:01:34,291
- OH, WE SURE HAD FUN.
1449
01:01:34,291 --> 01:01:37,625
SALLY CAN BE A BIT MORE
CHALLENGING THAN I REMEMBER.
1450
01:01:37,625 --> 01:01:40,875
WHAT HAPPENED
TO OUR LITTLE GIRL?
1451
01:01:40,875 --> 01:01:42,542
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
1452
01:01:42,542 --> 01:01:43,792
WHILE YOU WERE SO BUSY
WITH YOUR PROJECTS
1453
01:01:43,792 --> 01:01:47,208
SHE BECAME A TEENAGER.
1454
01:01:47,208 --> 01:01:50,667
- YEAH. WELL, I GUESS I GOT
A LONG WAY TO GO WITH HER.
1455
01:01:50,667 --> 01:01:52,041
FEELS LIKE A START.
1456
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,041
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS
JUSTIFIED WORKING 24/7
1457
01:01:54,041 --> 01:01:57,375
AS SOMETHING I'M DOING
FOR THE FAMILY.
1458
01:01:57,375 --> 01:02:00,458
BUT MAYBE IT'S MORE
FOR MY OWN EGO.
1459
01:02:00,458 --> 01:02:03,500
- WE ALWAYS WANTED YOU
TO SUCCEED,
1460
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,041
IT'S JUST WHEN
YOU WERE AWAY SO MUCH
1461
01:02:05,041 --> 01:02:08,500
WE WANTED YOU
TO COME BACK HOME.
1462
01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:10,834
MAYBE THAT'S STILL
A POSSIBILITY.
1463
01:02:10,834 --> 01:02:14,500
- WHO KNOWS?
STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
1464
01:02:14,500 --> 01:02:18,834
ESPECIALLY THIS WEEK.
1465
01:02:18,834 --> 01:02:20,583
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER
1466
01:02:20,583 --> 01:02:24,959
FOR CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT?
1467
01:02:24,959 --> 01:02:27,500
- I WOULD LOVE THAT.
1468
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:30,208
[magical flourish]
1469
01:02:30,208 --> 01:02:33,500
[equipment clatters]
1470
01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:34,500
- YOU'RE NOT
ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.
1471
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:37,166
WE GOT A SITUATION.
1472
01:02:37,166 --> 01:02:39,166
AT THE--THE MALL.
IT'S GETTING OUT OF HAND.
1473
01:02:39,166 --> 01:02:41,834
- COLLEAGUE FROM WORK.
1474
01:02:41,834 --> 01:02:44,041
- OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE
THERE'S AN EMERGENCY.
1475
01:02:44,041 --> 01:02:47,000
ANYWAY, IT'S MY TURN
TO SKATE WITH THE KIDS.
1476
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,834
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
1477
01:02:48,834 --> 01:02:53,166
- ALL RIGHT. TOMORROW NIGHT.
BYE, KIDS! LOVE YOU! HAVE FUN!
1478
01:02:55,458 --> 01:03:00,208
THAT'S GREAT. JUST GREAT.
1479
01:03:02,583 --> 01:03:05,667
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?
1480
01:03:05,667 --> 01:03:07,333
THIS IS WORSE
THAN THE CHRISTMAS OF 1812.
1481
01:03:07,333 --> 01:03:08,792
THAT'S WHEN SANTA
GOT A STOMACH VIRUS
1482
01:03:08,792 --> 01:03:09,917
AND EVERYTHING
WENT KERFLOOEY.
1483
01:03:09,917 --> 01:03:11,667
- SO WHAT DO WE DO
TO FIX ALL THIS?
1484
01:03:11,667 --> 01:03:14,458
- YOU TELL ME. BLITZEN'S OUT
SO WE GOT SEVEN REINDEER.
1485
01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:16,667
WE'VE GOT 20 DISTRIBUTION ROUTES
AND 500 MILLION TOYS THAT
1486
01:03:16,667 --> 01:03:19,250
HAVE TO REACH KIDS' HOMES OR
STORES WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
1487
01:03:19,250 --> 01:03:21,041
WHAT WE NEED IS A MIRACLE.
1488
01:03:21,041 --> 01:03:24,875
- OR A REALLY GOOD
TRAVEL AGENT.
1489
01:03:26,542 --> 01:03:29,709
- I DON'T LIKE THIS.
SANTA NEVER BROKE IN ANYWHERE.
1490
01:03:29,709 --> 01:03:31,333
- OH, PLEASE. THE GUY GOES DOWN
PEOPLES' CHIMNEYS.
1491
01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:32,959
THAT ISN'T EXACTLY
RINGING THE DOORBELL.
1492
01:03:32,959 --> 01:03:35,834
BESIDES I HAVE A LEASE
TILL THE END OF THE YEAR.
1493
01:03:35,834 --> 01:03:37,458
- WELL YOU BETTER BE RIGHT.
1494
01:03:37,458 --> 01:03:41,583
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN POST BAIL
WITH A PLATE FULL OF COOKIES.
1495
01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:42,917
WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE DOING HERE?
1496
01:03:42,917 --> 01:03:44,458
- SO SANTA CAN'T GO
ANY FASTER?
1497
01:03:44,458 --> 01:03:45,542
- NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE
1498
01:03:45,542 --> 01:03:46,792
TINY REINDEER
BUMPING INTO STUFF.
1499
01:03:46,792 --> 01:03:48,375
- OKAY, SO WE'RE FIGURING OUT
HOW TO REROUTE
1500
01:03:48,375 --> 01:03:50,125
A FEW HUNDRED MILLION TOYS
ON COMMERCIAL FLIGHTS
1501
01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:52,917
THEN AVOIDING
MAJOR FLIGHT CORRIDORS
1502
01:03:52,917 --> 01:03:55,125
SO THE SLEIGH
CAN DELIVER THE REST.
1503
01:03:55,125 --> 01:03:56,959
IT'S WHAT I DO.
1504
01:03:56,959 --> 01:04:00,917
OKAY, WE'RE GONNA FIX THIS
IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT.
1505
01:04:00,917 --> 01:04:05,083
- OH, THANKS.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
1506
01:04:05,083 --> 01:04:07,709
- WHAT A WONDERFUL CREDIT
TO YOUR CAPABILITIES.
1507
01:04:07,709 --> 01:04:10,417
ALL UNITS RENTED,
AND ON A HOLIDAY.
1508
01:04:10,417 --> 01:04:12,083
THAT WAS GENIUS.
1509
01:04:12,083 --> 01:04:15,542
DECKING THE PLACE OUT
WITH FANTASTIC DECORATIONS.
1510
01:04:15,542 --> 01:04:16,542
[chuckles]
1511
01:04:16,542 --> 01:04:18,083
REALLY DREW 'EM IN.
1512
01:04:18,083 --> 01:04:19,625
- I WISH I COULD
CLAIM CREDIT FOR IT,
1513
01:04:19,625 --> 01:04:21,000
BUT I CAN'T, REALLY.
1514
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,959
- AND MODEST TOO.
1515
01:04:25,959 --> 01:04:30,542
SO ANY SPECIAL PLANS
FOR CHRISTMAS EVE?
1516
01:04:30,542 --> 01:04:32,625
- I'M JUST SPENDING IT
WITH MY FAMILY.
1517
01:04:32,625 --> 01:04:35,542
IT'S BEEN AN EXHAUSTING
CHRISTMAS SEASON. YOU?
1518
01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:37,792
- OH, DELIVERING FOOD
TO SOME AREA SOUP KITCHENS
1519
01:04:37,792 --> 01:04:41,792
AND THEN CAROLING
AT SEVERAL SENIOR CENTERS.
1520
01:04:41,792 --> 01:04:44,166
- IT'S GREAT THAT YOU DO THAT.
1521
01:04:44,166 --> 01:04:45,750
- WELL, YOU KNOW, BACK HOME
1522
01:04:45,750 --> 01:04:47,333
MY FAMILY HAS SOME
WONDERFUL TRADITIONS.
1523
01:04:47,333 --> 01:04:48,667
CHRISTMAS EVE WE ALL
GO DOWN TO BOND STREET
1524
01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:50,834
AND LOOK AT THE WINDOW DISPLAYS
1525
01:04:50,834 --> 01:04:53,417
AND THEN WE HAVE A BIG CHRISTMAS
DINNER WITH FIGGY PUDDING
1526
01:04:53,417 --> 01:04:56,458
AND THEN CHRISTMAS MORNING
IT'S HIGH TEA WITH CLOTTED CREAM
1527
01:04:56,458 --> 01:04:59,792
AND THEN WE ALL GO CARDIO
CLIMBING THE STAIRS OF BIG BEN.
1528
01:04:59,792 --> 01:05:01,959
- THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
- IT IS.
1529
01:05:01,959 --> 01:05:03,959
YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULD COME NEXT YEAR.
1530
01:05:03,959 --> 01:05:06,041
WITH THE KIDS, OF COURSE.
1531
01:05:06,041 --> 01:05:07,875
YOU COULD MEET MY FAMILY.
1532
01:05:07,875 --> 01:05:10,083
- THAT'S FUNNY, SOMEHOW
I CAN'T IMAGINE MY KIDS
1533
01:05:10,083 --> 01:05:11,667
HAVING HIGH TEA.
1534
01:05:11,667 --> 01:05:13,792
- LINDA, I'M SERIOUS.
- REALLY?
1535
01:05:13,792 --> 01:05:16,208
- THE WAY I SEE IT
IS THAT THERE ARE
1536
01:05:16,208 --> 01:05:18,667
TWO TYPES OF MEN
IN THIS WORLD.
1537
01:05:18,667 --> 01:05:23,375
THERE ARE THE DREAMERS
AND THERE ARE THE DOERS.
1538
01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:25,083
AND IT'S THE DOERS
WHO ARE THE ONES
1539
01:05:25,083 --> 01:05:28,792
WHO CAN MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE.
1540
01:05:28,792 --> 01:05:32,166
YOUR CARRIAGE AWAITS.
1541
01:05:47,291 --> 01:05:48,542
- LOOK, DAN, WE'VE BEEN
AT THIS ALL NIGHT.
1542
01:05:48,542 --> 01:05:50,542
YOU NEED A BREAK?
1543
01:05:50,542 --> 01:05:52,709
- NO, LET'S KEEP GOING.
1544
01:05:52,709 --> 01:05:54,000
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'VE GOT
HEADWINDS IN THE PACIFIC
1545
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000
RIGHT NEAR MANILA.
1546
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,000
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO REROUTE.
1547
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,125
WE CAN'T GO THROUGH TONGA.
1548
01:05:57,125 --> 01:05:58,250
I HAD A REFUELING
PROBLEM THERE ONCE.
1549
01:05:58,250 --> 01:05:59,333
WE WERE DELAYED FOR HOURS
WITH RED TAPE.
1550
01:05:59,333 --> 01:06:01,875
- I DON'T WANT RED TAPE.
- BOOM, SAMOA.
1551
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:03,208
REROUTE THE PACIFIC VIA SAMOA,
I'LL TEXT MY REP IN PAGO PAGO
1552
01:06:03,208 --> 01:06:04,375
TO FACILITATE NEXT.
1553
01:06:04,375 --> 01:06:06,166
- AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL
IN LONDON IS DOWN.
1554
01:06:06,166 --> 01:06:07,583
WE HAVE TO AVOID ANY FLIGHTS
1555
01:06:07,583 --> 01:06:09,417
THAT ARE COMING OUT OF
BACKED UP NORTHERN EUROPE.
1556
01:06:09,417 --> 01:06:10,542
- ALL RIGHT, WE GOT A PLANE
FULL OF TEDDY BEARS,
1557
01:06:10,542 --> 01:06:11,542
WE CAN GO THROUGH LISBON.
1558
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:12,542
- BOOK IT.
- DONE.
1559
01:06:12,542 --> 01:06:14,959
OKAY...
1560
01:06:14,959 --> 01:06:18,500
400 MORE FIRST-CLASS TICKETS
1561
01:06:18,500 --> 01:06:20,375
ON THE OLD SANTA CARD,
1562
01:06:20,375 --> 01:06:22,917
AND...
- BOOM.
1563
01:06:22,917 --> 01:06:26,709
[cell phone rings]
1564
01:06:26,709 --> 01:06:28,250
[beeps]
- HI, LINDA.
1565
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:29,417
- I'M JUST CALLING
TO MAKE SURE
1566
01:06:29,417 --> 01:06:30,583
YOU'RE STILL COMING
TO DINNER TONIGHT.
1567
01:06:30,583 --> 01:06:32,250
THE KIDS ARE REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT,
1568
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,250
AND APPARENTLY SALLY HAS SOME
SORT OF PERFORMANCE PLANNED.
1569
01:06:35,250 --> 01:06:38,875
- REALLY? LINDA, I CAN'T WAIT.
OH, AND DON'T COOK ANYTHING.
1570
01:06:38,875 --> 01:06:41,417
JUST PUT YOUR FEET UP 'CAUSE
I AM BRINGING DINNER TONIGHT.
1571
01:06:41,417 --> 01:06:43,375
- YOU SURE?
- ABSOLUTELY.
1572
01:06:43,375 --> 01:06:47,125
DON'T MAKE PROMISES
I CAN'T KEEP ANYMORE.
1573
01:06:47,125 --> 01:06:48,709
- DAN, WHERE ARE YOU?
1574
01:06:48,709 --> 01:06:50,250
I HEAR SOME SORT OF NOISE
IN THE BACKGROUND.
1575
01:06:50,250 --> 01:06:52,917
- UM, JUST AT THE OLD OFFICE.
1576
01:06:52,917 --> 01:06:56,750
- DAN, JUST LET IT GO.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?
1577
01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:58,083
- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
1578
01:06:58,083 --> 01:07:00,250
- AND HERE I WAS THINKING
THAT YOU'D CHANGED.
1579
01:07:00,250 --> 01:07:01,917
- LINDA, TRUST ME, THERE'S
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
1580
01:07:01,917 --> 01:07:03,583
AND I WILL BE THERE.
1581
01:07:03,583 --> 01:07:05,041
SO JUST ENJOY YOUR TIME
WITH THE KIDS
1582
01:07:05,041 --> 01:07:06,125
AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
1583
01:07:06,125 --> 01:07:10,291
- OKAY. BYE.
1584
01:07:10,291 --> 01:07:12,458
- WE GOT A MONSOON IN INDIA
AND A BLIZZARD IN IDAHO.
1585
01:07:12,458 --> 01:07:15,417
- I AM ON IT.
1586
01:07:19,250 --> 01:07:23,291
WHOA. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST
WORKED 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.
1587
01:07:23,291 --> 01:07:25,208
GOT A FEW HOURS LEFT
BUT WE'RE STILL IN THE GAME.
1588
01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:26,667
- WELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
1589
01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:28,458
THERE'S ALWAYS MORE TO DO.
- EXACTLY.
1590
01:07:28,458 --> 01:07:29,959
WHICH IS WHY I WANT
TO SEE MY FAMILY.
1591
01:07:29,959 --> 01:07:30,959
SO BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME OR--
1592
01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:32,917
- RELAX. YOU EARNED IT.
1593
01:07:32,917 --> 01:07:34,333
I'LL SEE YOU BACK
AT THE POLE IN TWO HOURS.
1594
01:07:34,333 --> 01:07:35,667
NOT A MINUTE MORE, ALL RIGHT?
1595
01:07:35,667 --> 01:07:37,834
THERE'S ALWAYS LAST-MINUTE
LOGISTICS TO ATTEND TO
1596
01:07:37,834 --> 01:07:40,125
AND YOU GOTTA SUIT UP
TO DRIVE THE SLEIGH.
1597
01:07:40,125 --> 01:07:41,917
- I'LL BE THERE.
1598
01:07:41,917 --> 01:07:43,834
HEY, UH, EDDIE,
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS--
1599
01:07:43,834 --> 01:07:47,834
ANY OF THIS, WITHOUT YOU,
SO THANK YOU.
1600
01:07:47,834 --> 01:07:50,291
- DON'T MENTION IT.
1601
01:07:50,291 --> 01:07:53,834
- YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
OR ELF.
1602
01:07:53,834 --> 01:07:58,834
- LIKE I SAID,
DON'T MENTION IT.
1603
01:07:58,834 --> 01:08:02,208
- HE'S REALLY GOTTA TEACH ME
HOW HE DOES THAT.
1604
01:08:04,166 --> 01:08:07,291
ALL RIGHT.
1605
01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:09,959
OH, THIS SHOULD COVER IT.
1606
01:08:09,959 --> 01:08:10,959
THANK YOU.
1607
01:08:10,959 --> 01:08:14,500
- THANK YOU.
1608
01:08:14,500 --> 01:08:18,000
[machine beeps]
1609
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,333
[beeps]
1610
01:08:20,333 --> 01:08:23,834
I'M--I'M AFRAID YOUR CARD SEEMS
TO HAVE BEEN DECLINED, SIR.
1611
01:08:23,834 --> 01:08:25,417
- OH, JUST RUN IT AGAIN,
PLEASE.
1612
01:08:25,417 --> 01:08:26,417
- I DID, SIR.
1613
01:08:26,417 --> 01:08:28,750
IT IS DEFINITELY
BEING DECLINED.
1614
01:08:28,750 --> 01:08:31,375
- WELL, THAT CAN'T BE.
1615
01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:33,417
- PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO USE ANOTHER CARD OR CASH.
1616
01:08:33,417 --> 01:08:37,709
- OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO CALL YOUR BANK. THE...
1617
01:08:37,709 --> 01:08:41,250
THE BANK OF THE NORTH POLE.
1618
01:08:43,375 --> 01:08:45,542
- WELL, I'M SURE
IT'S A MISTAKE.
1619
01:08:45,542 --> 01:08:48,375
MAKE A QUICK CALL
AND CLEAR IT UP.
1620
01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:49,583
[phone line rings]
1621
01:08:49,583 --> 01:08:50,750
- SANTA CARD CUSTOMER SERVICE.
1622
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:52,583
- YES, HELLO,
MY CARD HAS BEEN DECLINED.
1623
01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:54,709
- HOW CAN I HELP YOU,
MR. RYEBECK?
1624
01:08:54,709 --> 01:08:55,959
- YES, THAT'S ME.
1625
01:08:55,959 --> 01:08:57,291
- DID YOU ATTEMPT
TO USE THE SANTA CARD?
1626
01:08:57,291 --> 01:08:58,875
- YES, IT WAS THE SANTA CARD.
1627
01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,041
- I'M AFRAID YOU'VE REACHED
YOUR LIMIT, MR. RYEBECK.
1628
01:09:01,041 --> 01:09:02,458
- LOOK, WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIMIT?
1629
01:09:02,458 --> 01:09:04,875
- NO FURTHER PURCHASES
ARE AUTHORIZED.
1630
01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:07,208
- NO, PLEASE. I'M SANTA.
1631
01:09:07,208 --> 01:09:08,875
- MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. RYEBECK.
1632
01:09:08,875 --> 01:09:11,333
- HELLO? HELLO?
1633
01:09:11,333 --> 01:09:13,834
- ALPHONSE?
- OUI, MONSIEUR?
1634
01:09:13,834 --> 01:09:17,625
- TAKE ALL THIS
BACK TO THE KITCHEN, PLEASE.
1635
01:09:24,083 --> 01:09:25,583
- SO WE JUST
WANTED TO POP BY
1636
01:09:25,583 --> 01:09:26,959
AND WISH EVERYONE
A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1637
01:09:26,959 --> 01:09:28,625
- THANK YOU.
1638
01:09:28,625 --> 01:09:30,834
I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING
A GOOD CHRISTMAS EVE.
1639
01:09:30,834 --> 01:09:32,250
- YES. YES, IT'S FINE.
1640
01:09:32,250 --> 01:09:35,417
MUCH BETTER AFTER SEEING YOU.
[chuckles]
1641
01:09:43,166 --> 01:09:46,083
- SO LATE,
I BROUGHT NO FOOD.
1642
01:09:46,083 --> 01:09:47,959
[car chirps]
1643
01:09:47,959 --> 01:09:52,625
- TREVOR'S CAR?
1644
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:56,041
- OKAY, WHO'S HUNGRY
FOR DESSERT?
1645
01:09:56,041 --> 01:09:57,709
HO, HO, HO.
- [groans]
1646
01:09:57,709 --> 01:09:59,959
- COULDN'T LET MY BEST AGENT
GO UNREWARDED
1647
01:09:59,959 --> 01:10:01,000
THIS CHRISTMAS EVE.
1648
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,083
- OH, THANK YOU.
THAT LOOKS SO...
1649
01:10:04,083 --> 01:10:05,125
FANCY.
1650
01:10:05,125 --> 01:10:06,583
GENUINE CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE
1651
01:10:06,583 --> 01:10:09,125
FLOWN IN FROM
HARROD'S OF LONDON.
1652
01:10:09,125 --> 01:10:12,125
IT'S SO GOOD.
I HAD TO SHARE.
1653
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,542
KIDS.
- I DON'T WANT ANY.
1654
01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:16,291
DAD SAID HE WAS GONNA COME
AND HE DIDN'T.
1655
01:10:16,291 --> 01:10:17,709
HE'S JUST LIKE HE USED TO BE.
1656
01:10:17,709 --> 01:10:18,875
- HEY, I'M SURE HE HAD
SOMETHING COME UP.
1657
01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:23,291
- JOE.
1658
01:10:23,291 --> 01:10:24,583
- I'M SORRY.
1659
01:10:24,583 --> 01:10:28,834
WE'RE HAVING A UNIQUELY
MEMORABLE CHRISTMAS EVE.
1660
01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:38,667
- [sighs]
1661
01:10:38,667 --> 01:10:40,667
[car chirps]
1662
01:10:44,667 --> 01:10:47,417
I BLEW IT. AGAIN.
1663
01:10:47,417 --> 01:10:51,083
[cell phone rings]
1664
01:10:51,083 --> 01:10:54,417
OH...
YEAH, EDDIE.
1665
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,834
- I TOLD YOU TO BE
BACK HERE IN TWO HOURS.
1666
01:10:56,834 --> 01:10:59,417
- I KNOW I SAID, I--
- YEAH, I KNOW YOU KNOW.
1667
01:10:59,417 --> 01:11:00,667
I'M SURE YOU KNOW
HOW LATE YOU ARE.
1668
01:11:00,667 --> 01:11:01,792
HAVE YOU EVEN CHECKED
THE TRANSIT SCHEDULE?
1669
01:11:01,792 --> 01:11:03,750
- YES, I LOOKED AT
THE TRANSIT SCHEDULES.
1670
01:11:03,750 --> 01:11:05,083
OR MOST OF THEM, ANYWAY.
1671
01:11:05,083 --> 01:11:06,834
- WE'RE HAVING A TOTAL
SHIPPING BREAKDOWN.
1672
01:11:06,834 --> 01:11:08,250
A SYSTEM-WIDE SNAFU.
1673
01:11:08,250 --> 01:11:11,500
LOOK...
1674
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:12,750
COOKIES ARE DEPLETED.
1675
01:11:12,750 --> 01:11:15,500
NOT EVEN A CRUMB.
THE ELVES ARE VERY UPSET.
1676
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:17,291
- HEY, WHEN YOUR BUSINESS
IS RUN ON SUGAR
1677
01:11:17,291 --> 01:11:19,542
I GUESS IT'S BOUND
TO EVENTUALLY CRASH, RIGHT?
1678
01:11:19,542 --> 01:11:21,792
- FOR BETTER OR WORSE,
YOU ARE THE MAN IN CHARGE.
1679
01:11:21,792 --> 01:11:23,709
IF YOU DON'T GET BACK HERE
AND IN CHARGE,
1680
01:11:23,709 --> 01:11:26,083
CHRISTMAS IS GONNA BE RUINED
BY YOUR VERY HAND!
1681
01:11:26,083 --> 01:11:28,709
- OKAY. YES.
1682
01:11:28,709 --> 01:11:30,917
[phone beeps]
1683
01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:32,709
[sighs]
1684
01:11:32,709 --> 01:11:36,750
- ♪ DECK THE HALLS
WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪
1685
01:11:36,750 --> 01:11:39,542
♪ FA LA-LA LA-LA,
LA-LA LA LA ♪
1686
01:11:39,542 --> 01:11:41,583
♪ 'TIS THE SEASON
TO BE JOLLY ♪
1687
01:11:41,583 --> 01:11:44,083
♪ FA LA-LA LA-LA,
LA-LA LA LA ♪
1688
01:11:44,083 --> 01:11:46,500
♪ DON WE NOW
OUR GAY APPAREL ♪
1689
01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:49,250
♪ FA LA-LA, LA LA-LA,
LA LA LA ♪
1690
01:11:49,250 --> 01:11:50,375
♪ TROLL THE ANCIENT
YULETIDE CAROL ♪
1691
01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:53,041
- OVER HERE!
1692
01:11:53,041 --> 01:11:55,625
- KRIS.
1693
01:11:55,625 --> 01:12:00,417
- [chuckles] HEY, DAN.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1694
01:12:00,417 --> 01:12:02,917
- SO...
1695
01:12:02,917 --> 01:12:04,458
HOW'S VACATION?
1696
01:12:04,458 --> 01:12:08,583
WELL, GOT THIS KILLER SUNTAN
AND I'M LOVING THE WARM WEATHER.
1697
01:12:08,583 --> 01:12:11,166
- GREAT.
1698
01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:13,542
- SAY, YOU LOOK A LITTLE LOW.
1699
01:12:13,542 --> 01:12:15,041
I GUESS PULLING OFF CHRISTMAS
1700
01:12:15,041 --> 01:12:16,667
ISN'T AS EASY AS IT SEEMS,
IS IT?
1701
01:12:16,667 --> 01:12:20,041
- WELL, THAT'S
AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
1702
01:12:20,041 --> 01:12:23,458
YOU KNOW I MESSED IT ALL UP.
1703
01:12:23,458 --> 01:12:26,625
AND I LET DOWN
MY FAMILY AGAIN.
1704
01:12:26,625 --> 01:12:29,000
- WELL, AT LEAST YOU FINALLY
GOT TO GIVE YOUR FAMILY
1705
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:30,667
ALL THOSE PRESENTS
YOU WANTED TO, RIGHT?
1706
01:12:30,667 --> 01:12:32,709
- YEAH.
1707
01:12:32,709 --> 01:12:34,000
LOOKING BACK, I DON'T REALLY
1708
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,417
FEEL LIKE IT'S MADE
MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE.
1709
01:12:35,417 --> 01:12:38,417
- [chuckles]
WELL, IMAGINE THAT.
1710
01:12:40,458 --> 01:12:41,625
- WHEN I WAS A KID,
1711
01:12:41,625 --> 01:12:46,166
ON CHRISTMAS MORNING
I'D OPEN MY PRESENTS
1712
01:12:46,166 --> 01:12:48,041
AND THEN I WOULD SEE WHAT
ALL THE OTHER KIDS GOT
1713
01:12:48,041 --> 01:12:51,792
AND I WISHED SO MUCH
I'D GOTTEN WHAT THEY DID.
1714
01:12:51,792 --> 01:12:54,125
- HMM.
1715
01:12:54,125 --> 01:12:58,917
- I WAS BLINDED
BY THE AMAZING GIFTS.
1716
01:12:58,917 --> 01:13:03,542
I DIDN'T SEE WHAT I ALREADY HAD
WAS THE BEST GIFT OF ALL.
1717
01:13:06,917 --> 01:13:10,625
MY FAMILY.
1718
01:13:10,625 --> 01:13:14,083
I WANT THAT FOR MY KIDS TOO.
1719
01:13:14,083 --> 01:13:17,333
YOU KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS
MORNING FEELING
1720
01:13:17,333 --> 01:13:18,500
WHEN YOU JUST KNOW
YOU'RE SURROUNDED
1721
01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:23,000
BY PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU?
1722
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,208
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
1723
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,709
- ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
ON CHRISTMAS.
1724
01:13:26,709 --> 01:13:29,166
ALL IT TAKES
IS A LITTLE FAITH.
1725
01:13:29,166 --> 01:13:33,000
WELL, YOU STILL GOT YOUR SANTA
POWERS FOR A FEW MORE HOURS.
1726
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:34,875
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
TO ENJOY THEM?
1727
01:13:34,875 --> 01:13:37,792
- I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH THEM.
1728
01:13:37,792 --> 01:13:42,250
BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE
ANY POWERS AT ALL.
1729
01:13:42,250 --> 01:13:44,500
KRIS, THANKS FOR PUTTING
YOUR CONFIDENCE IN ME.
1730
01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:49,125
I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN.
1731
01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:52,917
- DAN, CHRISTMAS
ISN'T OVER YET.
1732
01:14:03,792 --> 01:14:04,792
- DAN.
1733
01:14:04,792 --> 01:14:08,375
- HI.
1734
01:14:08,375 --> 01:14:09,542
DO YOU HAVE COMPANY?
1735
01:14:09,542 --> 01:14:11,542
- WELL, TREVOR WAS HERE
A FEW HOURS AGO
1736
01:14:11,542 --> 01:14:14,875
BUT HE LEFT. COME ON IN.
1737
01:14:20,875 --> 01:14:25,166
- I'M REALLY SORRY
I MISSED DINNER.
1738
01:14:25,166 --> 01:14:27,667
ARE THE KIDS ASLEEP?
1739
01:14:27,667 --> 01:14:30,250
- YEAH.
I THREW TOGETHER A MEAL.
1740
01:14:30,250 --> 01:14:34,500
- THANKS.
ARE THEY ALL RIGHT?
1741
01:14:36,625 --> 01:14:38,959
- THEIR DAD MISSED
CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER.
1742
01:14:38,959 --> 01:14:40,709
THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY
OVER THE RAINBOW.
1743
01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:44,041
- I SCREWED UP, LINDA.
I REALLY SCREWED UP.
1744
01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:48,542
- I'VE HEARD IT ALL
BEFORE, DAN.
1745
01:14:48,542 --> 01:14:52,542
- I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT BUSINESS, THOUGH.
1746
01:14:54,875 --> 01:14:57,375
I'M TALKING ABOUT
WHAT MATTERS MOST.
1747
01:14:57,375 --> 01:15:01,917
FAMILY. THE KIDS. YOU.
1748
01:15:01,917 --> 01:15:05,041
OKAY, LOOK,
JUST DO ME A FAVOR.
1749
01:15:05,041 --> 01:15:06,875
TELL THE KIDS
MERRY CHRISTMAS FOR ME.
1750
01:15:06,875 --> 01:15:10,875
AND THAT I LOVE THEM
MORE THAN THEY'LL EVER KNOW.
1751
01:15:10,875 --> 01:15:12,750
I'M SORRY.
- WAIT.
1752
01:15:12,750 --> 01:15:14,625
DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN
AND HAVE AN EGG NOG?
1753
01:15:14,625 --> 01:15:19,125
TREVOR BROUGHT OVER A GALLON AND
IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO WASTE IT.
1754
01:15:19,125 --> 01:15:23,417
- UH, SORRY. YES, SURE.
1755
01:15:23,417 --> 01:15:26,750
DO YOU REMEMBER THIS SONG?
- MM-HMM.
1756
01:15:26,750 --> 01:15:29,667
- REMINDS ME OF OUR VERY FIRST
CHRISTMAS TOGETHER.
1757
01:15:29,667 --> 01:15:32,458
- ME TOO.
1758
01:15:32,458 --> 01:15:35,458
[slow, jazzy music playing]
1759
01:15:35,458 --> 01:15:37,000
- CARE TO DANCE?
1760
01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:39,250
- I DON'T THINK SO.
1761
01:15:39,250 --> 01:15:42,500
- ♪ THERE'S MAGIC IN THE CITY ♪
1762
01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:44,250
- THIS WOULD BE
OUR LAST CHANCE.
1763
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:47,500
- ♪ IT'S IN
THE CHILDREN'S EYES ♪
1764
01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:49,083
FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.
1765
01:15:49,083 --> 01:15:51,041
- ♪ CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
SHINE PRETTY ♪
1766
01:15:51,041 --> 01:15:53,291
- IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
1767
01:15:53,291 --> 01:15:56,792
WHY NOT?
1768
01:15:56,792 --> 01:15:59,083
- ♪ WITHIN THE SPELL ♪
1769
01:15:59,083 --> 01:16:00,458
- WHOO.
- A-HA.
1770
01:16:00,458 --> 01:16:05,834
♪ ♪
1771
01:16:05,834 --> 01:16:07,000
- HEY, CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
1772
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,709
- SURE.
1773
01:16:08,709 --> 01:16:12,500
- WERE YOU THE ONE WHO DECORATED
MY OPEN HOUSE EVENT?
1774
01:16:12,500 --> 01:16:15,125
- ♪ SPENDING CHRISTMASTIME ♪
1775
01:16:15,125 --> 01:16:16,291
- MAYBE.
1776
01:16:16,291 --> 01:16:20,208
- [laughs] YOU'RE CRAZY.
- I KNOW.
1777
01:16:20,208 --> 01:16:21,583
YOU'RE JUST FIGURING
THIS OUT NOW?
1778
01:16:21,583 --> 01:16:25,125
- ♪ THERE'S SO MUCH MORE
TO GREETING CARDS ♪
1779
01:16:25,125 --> 01:16:27,709
- DO YOU REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME WE DANCED?
1780
01:16:27,709 --> 01:16:29,542
IT WAS OUR FIFTH
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
1781
01:16:29,542 --> 01:16:32,166
- OH. HOW CAN YOU
REMEMBER THAT?
1782
01:16:32,166 --> 01:16:37,166
- IT'S HARD NOT TO WHEN THERE
ARE SO FEW MEMORIES LIKE IT.
1783
01:16:37,166 --> 01:16:39,542
- [sighs]
LINDA...
1784
01:16:39,542 --> 01:16:41,000
I'M THICK-HEADED.
1785
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:45,792
I'M SORRY I'VE JUST
FAILED YOU SO MUCH.
1786
01:16:45,792 --> 01:16:47,917
FOR NOT BEING THERE MORE.
1787
01:16:47,917 --> 01:16:50,166
- DAN, YOU DON'T GET IT.
1788
01:16:50,166 --> 01:16:52,000
I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU
BEING THE BREADWINNER.
1789
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:56,750
- ♪ THAT'S ALL
THAT'S ON MY LIST ♪
1790
01:16:56,750 --> 01:17:00,000
- HEY. CAN WE AGREE
ON ONE THING?
1791
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,208
- WHAT'S THAT?
1792
01:17:02,208 --> 01:17:04,542
- IT'S REALLY NICE
TO FINALLY HAVE THIS DANCE.
1793
01:17:04,542 --> 01:17:07,375
- ♪ THE WARMTH WITHIN
YOUR LOVING-- ♪
1794
01:17:07,375 --> 01:17:09,250
- WE NEED A GUY
IN A BIG, RED SUIT.
1795
01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,041
I'M GONNA GO GET DAN
AND BRING HIM BACK.
1796
01:17:11,041 --> 01:17:13,166
- WILLIE, RONNIE,
GET TO THE DISTRIBUTION CENTER
1797
01:17:13,166 --> 01:17:16,208
AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO
IN THE MEANTIME.
1798
01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:21,750
[crashes]
1799
01:17:21,750 --> 01:17:23,166
- SOUNDS LIKE SOME RACCOONS
1800
01:17:23,166 --> 01:17:25,375
ARE HAVING A PARTY
ON OUR GARBAGE CANS.
1801
01:17:25,375 --> 01:17:26,625
[doorbell rings]
1802
01:17:26,625 --> 01:17:29,667
- YEAH, SOMETHING TELLS ME
I SHOULD GET THAT.
1803
01:17:34,125 --> 01:17:35,458
- IT'S TIME.
1804
01:17:35,458 --> 01:17:37,291
- NO, NOT NOW.
1805
01:17:37,291 --> 01:17:38,291
- WE GOTTA GET YOU
IN THE SUIT.
1806
01:17:38,291 --> 01:17:40,792
- EDDIE, DOES IT
HAVE TO BE ME?
1807
01:17:40,792 --> 01:17:42,417
- YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE SUIT
1808
01:17:42,417 --> 01:17:44,417
BEFORE WORLDWIDE CHRISTMAS MAGIC
TAKES EFFECT.
1809
01:17:44,417 --> 01:17:46,291
NOW WE MAY ONLY HAVE ENOUGH TIME
TO DELIVER HALF THE PRESENTS,
1810
01:17:46,291 --> 01:17:48,750
BUT THAT'S BETTER THAN
NO PRESENTS AT ALL. COME ON.
1811
01:17:48,750 --> 01:17:51,542
- DAD?
- MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON?
1812
01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:54,625
- GREAT.
NOW THE KIDS ARE AWAKE.
1813
01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:56,417
- WHY IS EDDIE HERE?
1814
01:17:56,417 --> 01:17:57,917
- HI, EDDIE.
- HI.
1815
01:17:57,917 --> 01:17:59,291
- WAIT, YOU KNOW THIS GUY?
1816
01:17:59,291 --> 01:18:00,750
- YEAH, HE WAS
THE NEW BABYSITTER.
1817
01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:04,417
- KIDS, I'M SO SORRY
ABOUT CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER.
1818
01:18:04,417 --> 01:18:06,417
YOU SEE...
1819
01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:08,959
CAN I TELL THEM?
1820
01:18:08,959 --> 01:18:11,750
- GIVE IT A SHOT.
1821
01:18:11,750 --> 01:18:14,333
LINDA, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU.
1822
01:18:14,333 --> 01:18:17,125
AND KIDS,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW TOO.
1823
01:18:17,125 --> 01:18:18,291
YOU KNOW HOW THINGS HAVE BEEN
1824
01:18:18,291 --> 01:18:20,667
A TAD, WELL, STRANGE
THE PAST FEW DAYS?
1825
01:18:20,667 --> 01:18:22,166
- THAT'S ONE WAY
OF PUTTING IT.
1826
01:18:22,166 --> 01:18:25,542
- OKAY. THIS MIGHT BE
HARD TO BELIEVE.
1827
01:18:25,542 --> 01:18:28,125
BUT I'M SANTA CLAUS.
1828
01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:32,125
- I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!
I TOLD YOU, SALLY. DAD'S SANTA!
1829
01:18:32,125 --> 01:18:33,875
- WHAT?
- LINDA,
1830
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,333
IT'S TRUE.
1831
01:18:35,333 --> 01:18:36,792
- AND YOU'RE WHAT,
HIS ASSISTANT?
1832
01:18:36,792 --> 01:18:41,291
- EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT.
CHRISTMAS ELF, POLAR DIVISION.
1833
01:18:43,291 --> 01:18:46,625
LINDA, YOU'VE ALWAYS LIKED
A WHITE CHRISTMAS, RIGHT?
1834
01:18:47,959 --> 01:18:50,125
[snaps]
1835
01:18:50,125 --> 01:18:52,458
- IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE.
- DAD MADE IT SNOW.
1836
01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:54,583
- IT'S A COINCIDENCE.
1837
01:18:54,583 --> 01:18:58,667
- OKAY, THEN...
[snaps]
1838
01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,500
- THAT IS--
- AWESOME.
1839
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:02,542
- THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO TELL YOU.
1840
01:19:02,542 --> 01:19:04,709
- I TOLD YOU!
1841
01:19:04,709 --> 01:19:07,000
- BOSS,
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
1842
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:11,500
- OKAY. GANG,
I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
1843
01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:13,083
I'M SO SORRY I MISSED
CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER.
1844
01:19:13,083 --> 01:19:16,000
AND THAT IS THE LAST TIME
I'LL EVER DO THAT.
1845
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:18,417
- THE GUY MIGHT'VE MISSED
A FEW THINGS.
1846
01:19:18,417 --> 01:19:21,625
MESSED UP ROYALLY
THIS WEEK,
1847
01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:24,166
BUT THAT'S ONLY WHEN HE WAS
TRYING TO MAKE CHRISTMAS HAPPEN
1848
01:19:24,166 --> 01:19:27,667
FOR A FEW BILLION PEOPLE.
1849
01:19:27,667 --> 01:19:30,500
IN MY BOOK,
1850
01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:34,083
HE DID PRETTY WELL.
1851
01:19:35,709 --> 01:19:40,083
- OKAY. SPARKLE US OUT.
1852
01:19:40,083 --> 01:19:43,875
- STRAP IN.
1853
01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:47,250
- OUR DAD JUST SPARKLED.
1854
01:19:47,250 --> 01:19:50,500
- YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERY DAY.
1855
01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:55,041
- I'M NO FASHION EXPERT,
BUT THIS ISN'T WORKING.
1856
01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:56,500
- THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY DIDN'T TAKE IT IN ENOUGH.
1857
01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:58,208
THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD'VE COME
TO YOUR FINAL FITTING.
1858
01:19:58,208 --> 01:20:00,208
YOU KNOW WHAT,
WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS.
1859
01:20:00,208 --> 01:20:01,875
IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S
A BOTTLENECK IN GIFT DELIVERY.
1860
01:20:01,875 --> 01:20:03,208
- ALL RIGHT, WELL,
WE'VE ALREADY USED
1861
01:20:03,208 --> 01:20:05,208
EVERY SPARE PLANE SEAT
AND CARGO DELIVERY.
1862
01:20:05,208 --> 01:20:06,542
- THE SLEIGH
ONLY HOLDS SO MUCH.
1863
01:20:06,542 --> 01:20:08,041
ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA BE LUCKY
1864
01:20:08,041 --> 01:20:09,709
TO GET HALF THE PRESENTS
DELIVERED.
1865
01:20:09,709 --> 01:20:12,000
BEYOND THAT IT'S JUST
NOT GONNA WORK.
1866
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:14,417
- WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.
1867
01:20:14,417 --> 01:20:17,583
WE JUST GOTTA
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
1868
01:20:17,583 --> 01:20:19,333
WAIT A MINUTE.
1869
01:20:19,333 --> 01:20:22,125
IF YOU HAVE TO SWIM A MOAT
OR SCALE A WALL,
1870
01:20:22,125 --> 01:20:23,792
TRY A CATAPULT INSTEAD.
1871
01:20:23,792 --> 01:20:25,375
- EXCUSE ME?
1872
01:20:25,375 --> 01:20:26,792
- IT'S SOMETHING MY SON SAID.
1873
01:20:26,792 --> 01:20:28,000
EDDIE, I THINK
WE CAN SOLVE THIS.
1874
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:30,417
THE SLEIGH WORKS
ON CHRISTMAS MAGIC, RIGHT?
1875
01:20:30,417 --> 01:20:32,458
WHAT IF WE LOAD IT UP
AND CATAPULT IT
1876
01:20:32,458 --> 01:20:33,750
AROUND THE SOUTH POLE?
1877
01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:35,875
THE REVERSE POLARITY
MIGHT ACTUALLY SPEED IT UP
1878
01:20:35,875 --> 01:20:37,875
LIKE HOW AIRLINES
USE THE JET STREAM.
1879
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:38,875
- YOU DON'T WANT TO
GO TO THE SOUTH POLE.
1880
01:20:38,875 --> 01:20:40,875
IT'S ALL PENGUINS AND NO TOYS.
1881
01:20:40,875 --> 01:20:43,125
BUT...
1882
01:20:43,125 --> 01:20:44,125
IT MIGHT WORK.
1883
01:20:44,125 --> 01:20:45,750
SOMEONE HAS BEEN READING
1884
01:20:45,750 --> 01:20:47,041
THE OWNER'S MANUAL
TO SANTA'S SLEIGH.
1885
01:20:47,041 --> 01:20:48,750
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
1886
01:20:48,750 --> 01:20:50,417
ELF ALERT, ELF ALERT.
1887
01:20:50,417 --> 01:20:54,000
PLEASE MOVE ALL OF THE REMAINING
GIFTS INTO SANTA'S SLEIGH.
1888
01:20:54,000 --> 01:20:56,834
EVERYTHING
AND THE KITCHEN SINK.
1889
01:20:56,834 --> 01:20:59,250
MAURICIO, THAT WAS A JOKE.
DO NOT MOVE THE KITCHEN SINK.
1890
01:20:59,250 --> 01:21:01,667
GOOD WORK, ELVES.
GOOD WORK.
1891
01:21:04,792 --> 01:21:06,291
WITH THE SLEIGH
WEIGHTED DOWN THAT MUCH
1892
01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:09,083
IT'S GONNA BE DANGEROUS.
1893
01:21:09,083 --> 01:21:11,834
SANTA, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE UP FOR IT?
1894
01:21:11,834 --> 01:21:16,458
- EDDIE, I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO BE A HERO ALL MY LIFE.
1895
01:21:16,458 --> 01:21:18,917
AND IF IT MEANS
SAVING CHRISTMAS,
1896
01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:20,625
I'LL TAKE THE RISK.
1897
01:21:20,625 --> 01:21:22,000
- WELL, THAT MIGHT NOT
BE NECESSARY.
1898
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,834
SOMEBODY CALL FOR BACKUP?
[chuckles]
1899
01:21:24,834 --> 01:21:27,250
- MR. KRINGLE!
- [laughs]
1900
01:21:27,250 --> 01:21:29,000
EDDIE, I NEED TO TALK
TO DAN FOR A MOMENT.
1901
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:33,375
- AH. IT'S JUST SO GOOD
TO SEE YOU, MR. KRINGLE.
1902
01:21:33,375 --> 01:21:36,083
- EDDIE, YOU DID A TERRIFIC JOB
WHILE I WAS GONE.
1903
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:37,709
NOW, LOOK.
1904
01:21:37,709 --> 01:21:40,166
THERE IS SOME
WARM WATER OUT THERE
1905
01:21:40,166 --> 01:21:43,000
AND A SURFBOARD
IF YOU CARE TO.
1906
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:46,458
- THANK YOU, SANTA.
- [laughs]
1907
01:21:46,458 --> 01:21:48,000
- THANK YOU.
1908
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:51,125
- GOOD-BYE, DAN.
1909
01:21:51,125 --> 01:21:55,333
COWABUNGA!
1910
01:21:55,333 --> 01:21:57,208
- THIS IS A PRETTY TOUGH
SUIT TO FILL.
1911
01:21:57,208 --> 01:21:58,959
- SO I SEE.
[chuckles]
1912
01:21:58,959 --> 01:22:01,208
- I HAVE MADE A REAL MESS
OF CHRISTMAS.
1913
01:22:01,208 --> 01:22:02,542
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
1914
01:22:02,542 --> 01:22:05,542
- WELL, I THINK THERE'S
PLENTY OF CHRISTMAS MAGIC
1915
01:22:05,542 --> 01:22:08,041
LEFT TO DO THE JOB.
1916
01:22:08,041 --> 01:22:09,041
[snaps]
1917
01:22:09,041 --> 01:22:10,709
[laughs]
1918
01:22:10,709 --> 01:22:12,333
- YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN,
DIDN'T YOU?
1919
01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:13,500
THAT I'D BOTCH THE JOB?
1920
01:22:13,500 --> 01:22:16,166
- BUT I KNEW THAT YOU'D
COME THROUGH IT.
1921
01:22:16,166 --> 01:22:18,125
DAN, I KNEW THAT YOU
NEEDED TO HAVE
1922
01:22:18,125 --> 01:22:20,667
EVERYTHING THAT YOU
THOUGHT YOU WANTED.
1923
01:22:20,667 --> 01:22:23,875
- TO REALIZE THAT
EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED
1924
01:22:23,875 --> 01:22:24,875
I ALREADY HAD.
1925
01:22:24,875 --> 01:22:27,875
- THERE YOU GO.
[laughs]
1926
01:22:27,875 --> 01:22:29,291
SO I GOT THIS.
1927
01:22:29,291 --> 01:22:31,041
GO ON AND ENJOY
YOUR HOLIDAYS.
1928
01:22:31,041 --> 01:22:32,583
[laughs]
1929
01:22:38,250 --> 01:22:40,542
- MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1930
01:22:40,542 --> 01:22:42,250
- MERRY CHRISTMAS.
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOM.
1931
01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:44,750
- HEY, DO YOU THINK
MAYBE DAD'LL COME?
1932
01:22:44,750 --> 01:22:46,208
- HE'S PROBABLY HALFWAY
ACROSS THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
1933
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:48,500
- SORRY, KIDDO, BUT IF DAD
IS STANDING IN FOR SANTA
1934
01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:50,208
THOSE ARE SOME PRETTY BIG
BOOTS TO FILL.
1935
01:22:50,208 --> 01:22:52,834
- YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
1936
01:22:52,834 --> 01:22:54,542
- BUT I BET HE'S THINKING
ABOUT YOU BOTH.
1937
01:22:54,542 --> 01:22:56,542
- HE CERTAINLY IS.
1938
01:22:56,542 --> 01:22:59,917
Joe and Sally: DAD!
- COME ON, GANG.
1939
01:22:59,917 --> 01:23:00,917
- DAN.
1940
01:23:00,917 --> 01:23:02,542
WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB?
1941
01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:04,542
- WELL, I AM AFRAID
IT'S OVER.
1942
01:23:04,542 --> 01:23:06,959
THE REAL GUY
WHOSE JOB IT WAS CAME BACK
1943
01:23:06,959 --> 01:23:08,875
AND I THINK HE CAN
TAKE IT FROM HERE.
1944
01:23:08,875 --> 01:23:10,750
- IMAGINE THAT.
1945
01:23:10,750 --> 01:23:12,583
STEPPING DOWN FROM A JOB
WHERE YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING
1946
01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,667
YOU EVER WANTED
WITH A SNAP OF YOUR FINGERS.
1947
01:23:14,667 --> 01:23:16,250
- NOT EVERYTHING.
1948
01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:19,083
NOT EVERYTHING
BY A LONG SHOT.
1949
01:23:19,083 --> 01:23:20,458
I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
1950
01:23:20,458 --> 01:23:23,583
SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE
GIVEN YOU A LONG TIME AGO.
1951
01:23:26,166 --> 01:23:28,083
ME.
1952
01:23:28,083 --> 01:23:31,625
AND A COUPLE MORE PRESENTS.
1953
01:23:31,625 --> 01:23:35,750
SON, I HOPE YOU LIKE THAT.
1954
01:23:35,750 --> 01:23:39,542
AND THIS IS FOR YOU.
1955
01:23:43,625 --> 01:23:46,458
YOUR GRANDPA MADE THAT FOR ME
A LONG TIME AGO.
1956
01:23:46,458 --> 01:23:47,917
TO REMIND ME
HOW MUCH I'M LOVED.
1957
01:23:47,917 --> 01:23:50,417
AND I HOPE YOU REMEMBER
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
1958
01:23:50,417 --> 01:23:51,792
- DAD, IT'S GREAT.
1959
01:23:51,792 --> 01:23:53,709
- AND SALLY,
1960
01:23:53,709 --> 01:23:56,125
YOUR GRANDMA MADE THAT HERSELF
FOR THE FAMILY TREE.
1961
01:23:56,125 --> 01:23:58,417
IT MAY NOT BE MUCH
TO LOOK AT,
1962
01:23:58,417 --> 01:24:00,750
BUT IT'S A MEMORY
OF ALL OF OUR TRADITIONS.
1963
01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:01,875
AND THE ONES THAT ARE
YET TO COME.
1964
01:24:01,875 --> 01:24:04,542
- NO, DAD, IT'S--
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
1965
01:24:04,542 --> 01:24:08,792
- IT'S FUNNY HOW EASY IT IS
TO FORGET WHAT REALLY COUNTS.
1966
01:24:08,792 --> 01:24:10,750
- AND I HAVE
A PRESENT FOR YOU.
1967
01:24:10,750 --> 01:24:13,125
- OH.
1968
01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:21,625
- [playing guitar]
1969
01:24:21,625 --> 01:24:29,667
♪ ♪
1970
01:24:32,208 --> 01:24:33,500
- SALLY, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
1971
01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,041
SOMEONE'S BEEN
PRACTICING, HUH?
1972
01:24:35,041 --> 01:24:38,000
- WELL, LIKE I SAID, IT HELPS
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE SOMEONE
1973
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:39,834
LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER
ALL THE TIME.
1974
01:24:39,834 --> 01:24:42,000
- GOT IT.
1975
01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:45,000
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, I JUST WANTED
TO DROP THOSE GIFTS OFF.
1976
01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:46,959
ENJOY.
- HEY, DAD.
1977
01:24:46,959 --> 01:24:48,875
HOW 'BOUT A REMATCH
FOR SQUIRE OF WESSEX?
1978
01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:51,875
- WELL, I DON'T
WANT TO INTRUDE.
1979
01:24:51,875 --> 01:24:54,667
- IF YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING
ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY
1980
01:24:54,667 --> 01:24:56,125
WE'D LOVE FOR YOU TO STAY.
1981
01:24:56,125 --> 01:24:57,166
- REALLY?
1982
01:24:57,166 --> 01:25:00,000
- REALLY.
1983
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:04,166
WE WOULD.
1984
01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:05,500
I WOULD.
1985
01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:08,542
- WELL, THEN I'D LOVE IT TOO.
1986
01:25:08,542 --> 01:25:10,500
- YES! WE'RE TOGETHER
AT CHRISTMAS.
1987
01:25:10,500 --> 01:25:12,041
- SO WHO WANTS TO MAKE
SOME WAFFLES?
1988
01:25:12,041 --> 01:25:13,834
- I'LL HELP.
- PERFECT.
1989
01:25:13,834 --> 01:25:15,500
KIDS, YOU GO GET 'EM STARTED.
- OKAY.
1990
01:25:15,500 --> 01:25:17,709
I'LL BE IN THERE IN A SECOND.
1991
01:25:17,709 --> 01:25:19,166
YOU...
1992
01:25:19,166 --> 01:25:22,208
HONEY.
1993
01:25:22,208 --> 01:25:24,583
THINGS HAVE BEEN SO CRAZY.
1994
01:25:24,583 --> 01:25:26,041
I JUST...
1995
01:25:26,041 --> 01:25:27,041
I JUST WANT TO SAY NOEL.
1996
01:25:27,041 --> 01:25:29,709
AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
1997
01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:32,709
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1998
01:25:32,709 --> 01:25:36,417
AND ONE OTHER THING.
1999
01:25:36,417 --> 01:25:39,375
LINDA...
2000
01:25:39,375 --> 01:25:44,333
WILL YOU MARRY ME? AGAIN?
2001
01:25:44,333 --> 01:25:46,709
- [laughs]
- [laughs]
2002
01:25:46,709 --> 01:25:48,750
- YOU HAD ME AT "NOEL."
2003
01:25:48,750 --> 01:25:53,125
- [laughs]
COME HERE.
2004
01:25:53,125 --> 01:25:56,375
- DAD'S COMING HOME.
2005
01:25:56,375 --> 01:25:59,375
[triumphant orchestral music]
2006
01:25:59,375 --> 01:26:07,375
♪ ♪
2007
01:26:14,750 --> 01:26:17,750
[festive orchestral music]
2008
01:26:17,750 --> 01:26:25,750
♪ ♪
138041
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