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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,005 --> 00:00:04,008 ♪ suspenseful music playing ♪ 2 00:00:06,511 --> 00:00:08,513 ♪ music crescendos ♪ 3 00:00:08,513 --> 00:00:11,516 ♪ theme song playing ♪ 4 00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:40,086 ♪ serene music playing ♪ 5 00:00:41,296 --> 00:00:44,132 [on speaker]: Congratulations, fellow citizens! 6 00:00:44,132 --> 00:00:47,510 3023 will go down in history 7 00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:51,181 as the year we triumphed over COVID-19! 8 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:54,184 [crowd cheering] 9 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,437 LINDA [on TV]: We interrupt the triumph over COVID-19 10 00:00:57,437 --> 00:01:00,607 for a special report. A new virus-- 11 00:01:00,607 --> 00:01:02,108 Oh, for Pete's sake. 12 00:01:02,108 --> 00:01:05,028 A new virus dubbed EXPLOVID-23 13 00:01:05,028 --> 00:01:08,907 has broken out among the mutants who dwell beneath New New York. 14 00:01:08,907 --> 00:01:12,285 Symptoms include blinding, uncontrollable anger! 15 00:01:12,285 --> 00:01:15,121 As well as a mild cough, which I don't have. I'm fine. 16 00:01:15,121 --> 00:01:17,916 A complete travel ban to and from the sewers 17 00:01:17,916 --> 00:01:21,878 is being enforced by the city's fattest police officers. 18 00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:24,881 - [clang] - Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Love ya! 19 00:01:24,881 --> 00:01:27,175 Feh. Always with the love. 20 00:01:27,175 --> 00:01:29,969 We already hugged you. Now, we gotta talk about it? 21 00:01:29,969 --> 00:01:31,888 [both cough] [manhole slams] 22 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,141 Sorry I'm late. What? 23 00:01:36,351 --> 00:01:37,310 [Bender crinkles] 24 00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:40,647 Let's move, you sofa snails! We've got a delivery! 25 00:01:43,149 --> 00:01:44,818 ♪ 26 00:01:44,818 --> 00:01:46,069 [cheering and applause] 27 00:01:46,069 --> 00:01:48,029 MAYOR: And now, I'm proud to present 28 00:01:48,029 --> 00:01:50,073 the city's highest award, 29 00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:52,867 the key to the Times Square liquor cabinet, 30 00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:56,079 to the super-spreader of truth himself, 31 00:01:56,079 --> 00:01:58,915 Bill Nye, the Science Head! 32 00:01:58,915 --> 00:02:00,208 [applause] 33 00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:02,210 Congratulations, Mr. Science. 34 00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,753 [coughing] 35 00:02:03,753 --> 00:02:06,548 Let me just bend that mic for you. [grunting] 36 00:02:06,548 --> 00:02:07,882 [mic feedback] [clears throat] 37 00:02:07,882 --> 00:02:10,969 Thank you for this tremendously dubious honor. 38 00:02:10,969 --> 00:02:14,180 After what seemed like a thousand years of COVID... 39 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,932 But was actually more! 40 00:02:15,932 --> 00:02:19,561 ...I declare the pandemic to be officially over. 41 00:02:19,561 --> 00:02:21,730 [coughs] [bubbling] 42 00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:24,065 [all coughing] 43 00:02:24,065 --> 00:02:26,067 [crowd coughing] 44 00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:29,237 Ugh. Watch where ya's coughin', bow tie! 45 00:02:29,237 --> 00:02:30,530 [grunts] Ow-zers! 46 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,115 For crying out loud! 47 00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,033 [mayor grunts] 48 00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,952 ♪ 49 00:02:35,952 --> 00:02:38,705 I'm using the principles of aerodynamics 50 00:02:38,705 --> 00:02:40,248 to get the hell outta here! 51 00:02:40,248 --> 00:02:42,250 [airplane whirring] 52 00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,252 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 53 00:02:45,628 --> 00:02:47,589 [laughs] Do it again! 54 00:02:47,589 --> 00:02:49,466 [whirring] [Amy groans] 55 00:02:49,466 --> 00:02:50,967 An anger pandemic? 56 00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:53,803 Not to point fingers, but Leela's spreading it. 57 00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:56,723 I am not, you jerks! [coughs] 58 00:02:56,723 --> 00:02:59,642 I'm just running a couple degrees angrier than normal. 59 00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:02,896 Good news, infecter-inos! 60 00:03:02,896 --> 00:03:05,857 I've developed a test to see who's got the virus 61 00:03:05,857 --> 00:03:08,151 and who's just naturally mean. 62 00:03:08,151 --> 00:03:11,363 You simply jam this Q-tip up your nose... 63 00:03:11,363 --> 00:03:13,281 [grunting] [squishing, cracking] 64 00:03:13,281 --> 00:03:15,492 [nasally] ...way, way up your nose, 65 00:03:15,492 --> 00:03:18,078 and collect a brain matter sample. 66 00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:19,496 That looks kinda fun. 67 00:03:19,496 --> 00:03:21,748 I can't wait to do it hundreds of times! 68 00:03:21,748 --> 00:03:26,211 Now, we wait for a line to appear under the two control dots. 69 00:03:26,211 --> 00:03:28,797 If the line curves up, you're fine. 70 00:03:28,797 --> 00:03:29,798 [cheerful ding] 71 00:03:29,798 --> 00:03:31,299 Huzzah! 72 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:35,303 Here goes nothin'. [grunts] [squishing] 73 00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:39,057 [Amy, Hermes, Leela grunting] [Zoidberg humming, slurping] 74 00:03:39,057 --> 00:03:42,227 [cheerful dinging] 75 00:03:42,727 --> 00:03:44,062 [loud buzz] 76 00:03:44,062 --> 00:03:45,855 This can't be right, Professor! 77 00:03:45,855 --> 00:03:48,441 Your test stinks, and so does your ugly face! 78 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:50,193 Oh no! She's got it! 79 00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:52,237 Quarantine her in the angry dome! 80 00:03:52,237 --> 00:03:54,280 [beep] [air whooshes] 81 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,199 [yelping, grunting] 82 00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:59,327 Stupid, stinkin', lousy, no good, son of a-- 83 00:03:59,327 --> 00:04:01,579 ♪ 84 00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:04,457 While we don't yet know how the virus spreads, 85 00:04:04,457 --> 00:04:06,835 we do know it's anger-based. 86 00:04:06,835 --> 00:04:10,171 I am therefore issuing an executive aroo 87 00:04:10,171 --> 00:04:12,716 that everyone wear a mask over their ears 88 00:04:12,716 --> 00:04:15,927 to prevent the transmission of upsetting remarks. 89 00:04:15,927 --> 00:04:17,679 Agnew! Come! 90 00:04:17,679 --> 00:04:20,724 [Agnew groans] [splashing] 91 00:04:21,683 --> 00:04:24,436 Mr. President, how could this possibly be of the slightest-- 92 00:04:24,436 --> 00:04:27,313 Thanks, fellas. Since I don't hear any questions, 93 00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:30,025 this prrress conference is adjourned! 94 00:04:30,025 --> 00:04:31,943 Out of an abundance of caution, 95 00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:34,195 all work will henceforth go remote 96 00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:36,448 using a new app called Gloom. 97 00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:37,282 [beep] 98 00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:39,242 In some ways, it will be better. 99 00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:41,619 Especially for those of us with families. 100 00:04:41,619 --> 00:04:44,372 [Dwight humming] 101 00:04:44,372 --> 00:04:47,167 Dwight, stop Gloom-bombing your dad's meeting! 102 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:49,169 And put on some britches! 103 00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:52,505 Hey, LaBarbara. How's your grandma? She improvin'? 104 00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:53,882 Yeah, she doin' alright. 105 00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:55,216 Give her my best. [static] 106 00:04:55,216 --> 00:04:57,969 ZOIDBERG [glitching]: I'm having trouble with my-- Anybody hear-- 107 00:04:57,969 --> 00:05:00,638 Wi-Fi issues-- hungry. [static] 108 00:05:00,638 --> 00:05:03,224 - [Bender chewing loudly] - Bender, you idiot! 109 00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:04,976 Do you have to eat those now?! 110 00:05:04,976 --> 00:05:06,853 I don't have to eat anything ever. 111 00:05:06,853 --> 00:05:08,021 [loud eating] 112 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:09,647 I'm warning you! 113 00:05:09,647 --> 00:05:12,150 [laughs] What are you gonna do? 114 00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:14,277 Hi... yah! [Bender grunts] 115 00:05:14,277 --> 00:05:16,780 Wow, this technology's come a long way. 116 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:18,907 I actually like working on Gloom. 117 00:05:18,907 --> 00:05:20,992 These hair filters save a ton of time. 118 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,165 - Uh-wha... - Professor, you're a teddy bear! 119 00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:29,834 I assure you I am not. [sparkling, bubbling] 120 00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:31,836 ALL: Aw... 121 00:05:31,836 --> 00:05:35,548 Is this the Gloom room where I can refill my prescriptions? 122 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:37,801 No! This is a delivery company! 123 00:05:37,801 --> 00:05:40,261 Can you deliver my prescriptions? 124 00:05:40,261 --> 00:05:41,971 We could, but we won't! 125 00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:44,182 Oh, this is a dismal failure. 126 00:05:44,182 --> 00:05:46,935 Everyone report to the office in person. 127 00:05:46,935 --> 00:05:50,605 But, Professor! That is a violation of health and safety standards. 128 00:05:50,605 --> 00:05:54,359 Everything we do is a violation of health and safety standards! 129 00:05:54,359 --> 00:05:56,111 Just wear a mask! [static] 130 00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:59,531 ♪ energetic music playing ♪ 131 00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:02,450 HERMES: We are dealing with a highly contagious virus, 132 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:05,286 so we'll need to practice hygiene theater. 133 00:06:05,286 --> 00:06:06,454 [stretching] 134 00:06:07,747 --> 00:06:09,541 [hocks, spits] 135 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:10,542 [squeaking] 136 00:06:10,542 --> 00:06:14,421 AMY: You know, I heard there's not really even a virus at all. 137 00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:17,257 It's just a big hoax, like the moon landing. 138 00:06:17,257 --> 00:06:19,217 You were on the moon last week! 139 00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:21,094 You grew up on Mars! 140 00:06:21,094 --> 00:06:23,221 AMY: That's what they want you to think! 141 00:06:23,221 --> 00:06:26,266 HERMES: Ugh. Enough with the conspiracy theories, people! 142 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,143 Let's look at the facts. 143 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:29,519 Irrational rage, 144 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:32,022 spread through saliva and spit, 145 00:06:32,022 --> 00:06:33,857 constant angry moaning. 146 00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:35,942 It's all the classic symptoms... 147 00:06:35,942 --> 00:06:37,736 of zombie-ism! 148 00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:39,696 [all scoffing] AMY: No way! 149 00:06:39,696 --> 00:06:43,658 That's completely unscientific, Hermes. EXPLOVID victims 150 00:06:43,658 --> 00:06:47,078 move at way too normal a speed to be zombies. 151 00:06:47,078 --> 00:06:49,456 HERMES: There are all speeds of zombies out there! 152 00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:52,375 Fast ones. Slow ones. Brisk shufflers. 153 00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,794 But the cure is always the same. 154 00:06:54,794 --> 00:06:56,880 - Voodoo. - Balderdash! 155 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,717 People stopped believing in voodoo back in Fry's time. 156 00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:03,219 HERMES: But voodoo didn't stop believing in them. 157 00:07:03,219 --> 00:07:05,221 Voodoo may not be well understood, 158 00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:07,182 but it gets results. 159 00:07:07,182 --> 00:07:08,933 You know what else gets results? 160 00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:10,393 Public ridicule. 161 00:07:10,393 --> 00:07:13,480 [all laugh] 162 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,066 HERMES [gritted teeth]: And yet, there are zombies. 163 00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,068 [stew bubbling] 164 00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:20,278 [sips] Oh shoot. 165 00:07:20,278 --> 00:07:22,113 I forgot to pick up a goat! 166 00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:25,408 Dwight, go across the hall and borrow goat from Mrs. Wilson. 167 00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,620 Pack your bags. We are going to New New Orleans. 168 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,622 [gasps] For Mardi Gras? 169 00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:31,915 No. Well, I mean, 170 00:07:31,915 --> 00:07:34,376 it happens to be Mardi Gras, but that's beside the point! 171 00:07:34,376 --> 00:07:36,002 I believe there are people there 172 00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:37,921 who could defeat this virus with... 173 00:07:37,921 --> 00:07:39,255 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ voodoo. 174 00:07:39,255 --> 00:07:40,548 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ [gasps] 175 00:07:40,548 --> 00:07:43,551 Dwight, go to your room right now! [goat bleats] 176 00:07:43,551 --> 00:07:47,347 You are messin' with powers you don't understand, husband. 177 00:07:47,347 --> 00:07:49,974 - But I do! - Then come with me, woman! 178 00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,185 You must listen to me 179 00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:54,771 'cause I grew up in a voodoo family, 180 00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:57,941 and zombie-ism killed my father! 181 00:07:57,941 --> 00:07:59,943 Then brought him back to life! 182 00:08:00,402 --> 00:08:03,405 Me don't want anymore to do with that world. 183 00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:04,823 Then I'll have to seek out 184 00:08:04,823 --> 00:08:07,492 these practitioners of the dark arts on my own. 185 00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:10,745 Hopefully, they are near that place with the good beignets. 186 00:08:10,745 --> 00:08:13,123 Be very careful, husband, 187 00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:15,041 and promise me one thing. 188 00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:16,584 If you survive, 189 00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:18,920 you gonna bring me back some of them beignets! 190 00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:23,425 [whooshing] 191 00:08:23,425 --> 00:08:25,760 ♪ 192 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:28,972 [gun cocking, whirring] 193 00:08:28,972 --> 00:08:31,599 What? It's my emotional support gun. 194 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:35,061 Which section, sir? Business or fighting? 195 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:37,939 - Uh, the first one. - Right this way. 196 00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:41,276 - Hand sanitizer? - No thanks. 197 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:42,777 Eh, more for me. 198 00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:45,155 [gulping] 199 00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:46,531 RANDY: Ma'am? Ma'am? 200 00:08:46,531 --> 00:08:49,075 Please, don't jam your husband into the overhead bin. 201 00:08:49,075 --> 00:08:51,703 Don't you tell my wife how to jam me into things! 202 00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:54,831 I know my rights. I'm recording you! 203 00:08:54,831 --> 00:08:58,710 And I'm recording you for recording him without permission! 204 00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,463 [all yelling] 205 00:09:01,463 --> 00:09:04,257 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 206 00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:07,052 As your mayor, I'm proud to announce 207 00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:09,554 that our city's most prominent egghead 208 00:09:09,554 --> 00:09:12,015 has developed a vaccine that will end 209 00:09:12,015 --> 00:09:15,101 my terrible poll numbers once and for all! 210 00:09:15,101 --> 00:09:16,311 [excited chatter] [shutters snap] 211 00:09:16,311 --> 00:09:17,645 Quite so. 212 00:09:17,645 --> 00:09:20,607 Thanks to cutting-edge RNA technology, 213 00:09:20,607 --> 00:09:24,194 my vaccine is as potent as it is untested. 214 00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:27,197 Ha! My essentially identical vaccine 215 00:09:27,197 --> 00:09:28,907 is far superior! 216 00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:30,784 Wernstrom. 217 00:09:30,784 --> 00:09:33,495 - It's a two-shot regimen. - Oh, yeah? 218 00:09:33,495 --> 00:09:37,248 Well, mine's three, and it makes your shoulder sore for a month! 219 00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:39,709 Mine makes your arm shrivel and fall off! 220 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:43,088 Big deal! Mine comes with a futuristic way 221 00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:46,675 of knowing exactly who's been vaccinated and who hasn't, 222 00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:50,345 a small scrap of easily lost paper. [wind blowing] 223 00:09:52,597 --> 00:09:55,934 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 224 00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:57,560 I made your favorite, Leela. 225 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,688 Chicken-shaped steak! 226 00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:04,067 - [cutlery clinking] - "Wow, this is great, Fry!" 227 00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:07,153 Is what I'd say if this pan sauce weren't so bland! 228 00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:10,490 Yeah, well, I know that's just the virus talking. 229 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,951 How's the cream pie? [gasps, gurgles] 230 00:10:13,952 --> 00:10:17,455 Scoop Chang, New New Yorker Crossword Puzzle editor, Smartwatch Edition. 231 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,582 Dr. Wernstrom, what do you say to reports 232 00:10:19,582 --> 00:10:22,252 your vaccine has the side effect of magnetism? 233 00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,754 That's a feature, not a bug. [zap] 234 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,297 [amazed chatter] 235 00:10:26,297 --> 00:10:28,049 Linda, Morbo and Linda. 236 00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:30,427 According to an anonymous internet post, 237 00:10:30,427 --> 00:10:33,179 your anti-anger vaccine causes sterility. 238 00:10:33,179 --> 00:10:35,974 - Care to comment? - The sterility is essential! 239 00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:38,893 Studies show that kids are what make people angriest! 240 00:10:38,893 --> 00:10:40,395 Everyone hates kids! 241 00:10:40,395 --> 00:10:42,564 [applause] [zap] 242 00:10:42,564 --> 00:10:44,649 Am I the only journalist here 243 00:10:44,649 --> 00:10:47,027 who even bothered to bring my own facts? 244 00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:48,695 Dr. Banjo! 245 00:10:48,695 --> 00:10:51,406 Yes, the Dr. Banjo 246 00:10:51,406 --> 00:10:55,368 of The Dr. Banjo Experience Podcast Experience Hour. 247 00:10:55,368 --> 00:10:58,705 Professor Farnsworth, how do you respond to rumors I'm starting 248 00:10:58,705 --> 00:11:01,624 that there are 5G chips in your vaccine? 249 00:11:01,624 --> 00:11:03,376 I would simply reassure you 250 00:11:03,376 --> 00:11:05,170 that the 5G chips are safe 251 00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:07,505 and purely for surveillance purposes. 252 00:11:07,505 --> 00:11:09,341 - [shocked chatter] - Dear God! 253 00:11:09,341 --> 00:11:10,800 But that's how it works! 254 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,845 The 5G chips track the virus particles, 255 00:11:13,845 --> 00:11:16,139 so the space lasers can shoot them. 256 00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:18,516 Keep that quackery away from me! [zap] 257 00:11:18,516 --> 00:11:20,477 [screaming] 258 00:11:20,477 --> 00:11:23,813 [growling] 259 00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:26,524 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 260 00:11:26,524 --> 00:11:30,362 [fighting, shouting] 261 00:11:30,945 --> 00:11:32,405 May I take your tray, ma'am? 262 00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:35,617 No, you may not take my dang tray! 263 00:11:35,617 --> 00:11:38,578 Ow! Why do we have to serve shish kabob? 264 00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:40,747 - [door creaks] - Hey, don't make me come back there! 265 00:11:40,747 --> 00:11:43,750 - Sir, please go back to your seat. - I'm the captain! 266 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,211 Don't you pull rank with me, flyboy! 267 00:11:46,211 --> 00:11:49,089 Sit your tushy down, and drive this thing. 268 00:11:49,089 --> 00:11:50,382 Tushy my ass! 269 00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:53,551 [alarm beeping] 270 00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:54,552 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 271 00:11:54,552 --> 00:11:57,555 [whirring, screeching] 272 00:11:59,057 --> 00:12:01,059 [all screaming] 273 00:12:01,059 --> 00:12:02,894 CAPTAIN [over PA]: This is the captain speaking. 274 00:12:02,894 --> 00:12:04,688 Passengers fighting in the window seats will notice 275 00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:07,649 we're careening past scenic Lake Pontchartrain. 276 00:12:07,649 --> 00:12:10,151 ♪ jazz music playing ♪ 277 00:12:10,151 --> 00:12:13,738 [gumbo splattering] [crowd cheering] 278 00:12:15,782 --> 00:12:18,201 [glass shattering] [metal creaking] 279 00:12:18,201 --> 00:12:21,121 Help... I can't move my legs... 280 00:12:21,121 --> 00:12:22,956 Ooh! I smell gumbo! 281 00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:25,250 [grunting, wincing] [bones cracking] 282 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,293 [glass crunching] 283 00:12:28,294 --> 00:12:31,297 ♪ jazz music playing ♪ 284 00:12:31,297 --> 00:12:33,341 [crowd chatter] [crunching] 285 00:12:33,341 --> 00:12:34,884 [splashing] [gasps, shudders] 286 00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:37,804 [sloshing] 287 00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:42,142 [door creaks] 288 00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:47,063 ♪ mysterious music playing ♪ 289 00:12:48,273 --> 00:12:51,276 Hello, madam. Is this the Voodoo HQ? 290 00:12:51,276 --> 00:12:53,361 Shh. You do voodoo? 291 00:12:53,361 --> 00:12:54,863 You misconstrue. 292 00:12:54,863 --> 00:12:57,323 Who do voodoo at the HQ? 293 00:12:57,323 --> 00:12:58,575 Entendu. 294 00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:01,703 But such information won't come cheap. 295 00:13:01,703 --> 00:13:04,080 I found this quarter outside. 296 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,499 Don't worry. I wiped off most of the vomit. 297 00:13:06,499 --> 00:13:08,376 [quarter clicking] 298 00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:10,712 Then let us consult the tarot. 299 00:13:10,712 --> 00:13:12,172 [cards shuffle, whir] 300 00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:14,215 ♪ mysterious music playing ♪ 301 00:13:14,215 --> 00:13:16,926 The Key of Bones, 302 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,762 the Hanging Man, 303 00:13:18,762 --> 00:13:22,390 the Man Being Crushed by a Big Beignet, 304 00:13:22,390 --> 00:13:25,977 and the Man Being Beaten by the Saints Mascot. 305 00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:29,272 Which path do you choose? 306 00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:30,482 Hm. 307 00:13:30,482 --> 00:13:32,567 What's in that pot under the hanging guy? 308 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,694 Boiling gumbo. 309 00:13:34,694 --> 00:13:36,279 I'll start with the gumbo. 310 00:13:36,279 --> 00:13:38,615 [street chatter] 311 00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:40,450 Hit me. 312 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,452 ELZAR: Bam! [squeals] 313 00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:46,164 [boiling] 314 00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:47,999 Mm. Kinda mild. 315 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,542 Guess I'll try this one instead. 316 00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:51,836 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 317 00:13:51,836 --> 00:13:54,714 This damned pandemic would be over 318 00:13:54,714 --> 00:13:57,342 if only people would take my vaccine. 319 00:13:57,342 --> 00:14:00,512 Why is everyone but me so stupid?! 320 00:14:00,512 --> 00:14:04,224 Splah. Because everyone but you uses social media! 321 00:14:04,224 --> 00:14:06,393 - [beep] - These vaccine fascists 322 00:14:06,393 --> 00:14:08,228 are taking away our freedom! 323 00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:10,480 I might as well be in a cage at the zoo, 324 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,065 like my aunt! [beep] 325 00:14:12,065 --> 00:14:16,027 This confounded mask is destroying my lungs. 326 00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,363 [exhales] 327 00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:21,157 [sighs] All this misinformation on Facebag 328 00:14:21,157 --> 00:14:22,867 is tearing us apart. 329 00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:24,828 I wonder who's posting it. 330 00:14:24,828 --> 00:14:27,330 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 331 00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:29,332 [typing] 332 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,835 What else should I post, Dad? 333 00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:33,920 Who cares? The crazier the better. 334 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,715 Tell 'em worm medicine helps! [laughs] 335 00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:39,926 Those poor, easily manipulated fools. 336 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:42,762 Soon, our time to invade will draw near! 337 00:14:42,762 --> 00:14:44,055 Sounds fun. 338 00:14:44,055 --> 00:14:47,183 I'll pack my scream-canceling headphones. 339 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:50,228 LEELA [on speaker]: Lousy, rotten, tiny angry dome! 340 00:14:50,228 --> 00:14:52,313 Leela? I'm really sorry. 341 00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,649 I tried shoving these flowers where you said, 342 00:14:54,649 --> 00:14:56,109 but I just couldn't manage it. 343 00:14:56,109 --> 00:14:57,527 Please take them. 344 00:14:57,527 --> 00:14:59,612 Don't come any closer, you dope! 345 00:14:59,612 --> 00:15:01,698 You'll get sick and probably beat up. 346 00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:05,243 I don't care. I can't stand being apart any longer! 347 00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:06,578 I'm coming in. 348 00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:07,871 [creaks, clangs] 349 00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:10,832 [both fighting, grunting] 350 00:15:10,832 --> 00:15:13,376 [both coughing] 351 00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:14,419 [both moaning] 352 00:15:14,419 --> 00:15:16,212 [coughing, moaning] 353 00:15:16,212 --> 00:15:18,089 [both coughing] 354 00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:21,760 ♪ 355 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,596 That fortune teller must have been jerking my chicken! 356 00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,848 There's nothing here! [door creaks] 357 00:15:26,848 --> 00:15:29,517 Nothing but us bones, mon ami. 358 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,394 Sweet andouille of St. Louis! 359 00:15:31,394 --> 00:15:33,938 A robot made of bones! 360 00:15:33,938 --> 00:15:36,066 Je m'appelle Bonebot. 361 00:15:36,066 --> 00:15:38,234 Been bones-keepin' this boneyard 362 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:40,487 for three bone-dred years. 363 00:15:40,487 --> 00:15:43,740 Oh good! Because I am on a bone-related errand. 364 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:47,035 I'm looking for a secret bone key to the Voodoo HQ. 365 00:15:47,035 --> 00:15:50,455 Huh. I ain't never seen no bone key. 366 00:15:50,455 --> 00:15:52,957 Have you checked that prominently displayed skull? 367 00:15:54,459 --> 00:15:56,044 [bones clattering] 368 00:15:56,711 --> 00:16:00,215 Well, huh. Guess I never really done looked 'round the place. 369 00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:02,634 Probably 'cause I got no eyes. 370 00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:05,136 Come on! I'll give you a ride. 371 00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:06,888 [fanboat roaring] 372 00:16:06,888 --> 00:16:09,891 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 373 00:16:09,891 --> 00:16:10,975 [whimpering] 374 00:16:10,975 --> 00:16:13,728 Go on and git from here, gar fish! 375 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:17,190 [gagging] 376 00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:20,944 That eighth bowl of gumbo may have been a mistake. 377 00:16:20,944 --> 00:16:24,239 No amount of gumbo's a mistake, mon ami. 378 00:16:24,239 --> 00:16:26,282 Water's always choppy in there here parts 379 00:16:26,282 --> 00:16:28,785 on account of the force field levees. 380 00:16:28,785 --> 00:16:31,121 [fanboat whirring down] 381 00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:34,249 Y'all see a dugong from Macon, run him down! 382 00:16:34,249 --> 00:16:37,001 He absconded with my daughter's dowry. 383 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:40,005 [splashing] [insects chirping] 384 00:16:40,005 --> 00:16:43,008 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 385 00:16:45,802 --> 00:16:47,762 [teeth chattering] 386 00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:49,889 This place gimme the heebie-jeebies, 387 00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:51,850 and not the boogie-woogie kind! 388 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:53,643 You're literally made of bones! 389 00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:55,562 And I aim to keep it that way! 390 00:16:55,562 --> 00:16:57,772 [Hermes grunts] Bon voyage! 391 00:17:01,234 --> 00:17:03,695 [wood creaks] [gulps, pants] 392 00:17:03,695 --> 00:17:05,488 [clicking, rumbling] 393 00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:08,199 ♪ eerie piano music playing ♪ 394 00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:10,452 [rattling] 395 00:17:10,452 --> 00:17:11,619 Wh-Who goes there? 396 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:13,872 [deep laugh] [rattling] 397 00:17:13,872 --> 00:17:15,123 ♪ sting dramatic ♪ 398 00:17:15,123 --> 00:17:16,624 Barbados Slim?! 399 00:17:16,624 --> 00:17:19,753 People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. 400 00:17:19,753 --> 00:17:21,129 Come in, Hermes! 401 00:17:21,129 --> 00:17:23,673 Make yourself feel inadequate. 402 00:17:23,673 --> 00:17:26,676 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 403 00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:31,139 [spacecraft whirring] 404 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:33,641 ♪ intense music playing ♪ 405 00:17:33,641 --> 00:17:36,144 LINDA: Tonight, Earth is under attack. 406 00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:40,148 Alien invaders have taken advantage of our planet's internal divisions 407 00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:42,317 to launch an all-out assault. [lasers blasting] 408 00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:45,403 Die, you disgusting freak! [coughing] 409 00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:49,366 [coughing] I just hope I kill you before those invaders do. 410 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,036 All hope is lost. Morbo? 411 00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:55,121 They must be destroyed! 412 00:17:55,121 --> 00:17:57,749 Both sides must be destroyed! 413 00:17:57,749 --> 00:17:59,334 [Linda laughs, coughs] 414 00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,252 I am so sick of you! 415 00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:02,670 [grunts] MORBO: Help! 416 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:05,256 You're the head of the Voodoo HQ? 417 00:18:05,256 --> 00:18:07,926 - I can't believe it! - Believe it, man. 418 00:18:07,926 --> 00:18:10,178 Me studied with the best of the best. 419 00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:12,180 She goes by the name of... 420 00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,265 LaBarbara. [gasps] 421 00:18:14,265 --> 00:18:16,393 And she was good at voodoo, too. 422 00:18:16,393 --> 00:18:18,645 [laughing] 423 00:18:18,645 --> 00:18:21,940 You stay away from her! She's married to me now! 424 00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:24,359 You two are mostly ancient history. 425 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,070 History has a way of repeating itself, brother. 426 00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,614 Now, what brings you here? 427 00:18:29,614 --> 00:18:31,825 The virus. I believe voodoo 428 00:18:31,825 --> 00:18:33,868 might be the only thing that can fight it. 429 00:18:33,868 --> 00:18:35,328 Well, that much is obvious. 430 00:18:35,328 --> 00:18:38,331 I thought it might be a form of demonic possession, 431 00:18:38,331 --> 00:18:40,667 but the tests came back negative. 432 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,085 But consider this. 433 00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:45,922 My theory is the virus is a type of zombie-ism! 434 00:18:45,922 --> 00:18:48,133 Sweet potatoes of Barbados! 435 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:51,052 You don't see a lot of angry, shouting zombies, 436 00:18:51,052 --> 00:18:53,013 but it would explain a lot. 437 00:18:53,013 --> 00:18:56,307 Hermes, you may have cracked this coconut. 438 00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,935 Stop naming foods! Gettin' hungry again. 439 00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:02,480 Sadly, curing zombie-ism is the kind of voodoo 440 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,898 I don't do. 441 00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:06,401 There's only one person with that expertise, 442 00:19:06,401 --> 00:19:08,445 and I'm afraid-- [door creaks] 443 00:19:08,445 --> 00:19:12,365 Afraid she might be too sexually attracted to you to think straight? 444 00:19:12,365 --> 00:19:14,117 [laughs] Well, you're mostly right. 445 00:19:14,117 --> 00:19:15,201 LaBarbara?! 446 00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:18,038 Hermes, I couldn't let you do this alone. 447 00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:21,458 You were brave to come here, and I love you. 448 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,335 Well, hello, Barbados. 449 00:19:24,335 --> 00:19:26,963 But, how did you find us here? 450 00:19:26,963 --> 00:19:29,466 And why do you have a key to Barbados' place? 451 00:19:29,466 --> 00:19:30,842 Eh, that's not important. 452 00:19:30,842 --> 00:19:33,345 I've also got a key to your place. 453 00:19:33,345 --> 00:19:34,596 Also not important. 454 00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:38,475 Come! Follow me to the inner sanctum. 455 00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:39,726 [bones rattle] 456 00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:42,729 ♪ mysterious music playing ♪ 457 00:19:42,729 --> 00:19:44,731 [bones rattling] 458 00:19:45,732 --> 00:19:49,611 [gasps] What dark, well-lit sorcery is this? 459 00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:53,031 [machines beeping] 460 00:19:53,031 --> 00:19:56,034 ♪ intense music playing ♪ 461 00:19:56,034 --> 00:19:59,204 [spacecraft whirring] [crowd screaming] 462 00:20:01,748 --> 00:20:04,751 People of Earth! I am Lrrr, 463 00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:07,545 ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! 464 00:20:07,545 --> 00:20:09,464 [coughing] Excuse me. 465 00:20:09,464 --> 00:20:13,426 I shall rule mercilessly over your weak and divided-- 466 00:20:13,426 --> 00:20:14,678 [sneezes] 467 00:20:14,678 --> 00:20:17,055 That's odd. I've never sneezed before. 468 00:20:17,055 --> 00:20:18,390 I don't even have a nose. 469 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,975 Me neither. [sneezes] 470 00:20:20,975 --> 00:20:24,187 Stop interrupting me while I'm trying to dominate these people! 471 00:20:24,187 --> 00:20:26,815 You couldn't dominate a bowl of fudge! 472 00:20:26,815 --> 00:20:28,900 Although you sure try! 473 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,694 - Oh yeah? [coughs] - Oh! [coughs] 474 00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:32,612 It's better than that flavor-free dessert 475 00:20:32,612 --> 00:20:34,197 that you serve. [coughs] NDND: Is that right? 476 00:20:34,197 --> 00:20:35,365 [loud buzz] 477 00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:37,659 PROFESSOR: Oh, it's just as I feared. 478 00:20:37,659 --> 00:20:42,163 The virus has mutated with Omicronium NDNDNA. 479 00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:45,375 It's a highly contagious Omicron variant. 480 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,001 You're a contagious variant! 481 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:48,002 [coughs] 482 00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:51,464 Go back where you came from, you Omi-clods. 483 00:20:51,464 --> 00:20:52,716 [grunts] [weak snap] 484 00:20:52,716 --> 00:20:55,343 Everyone is so angry. [coughs] 485 00:20:55,343 --> 00:20:57,345 Especially me! [grunts] 486 00:20:57,345 --> 00:20:59,014 Ow! My schnookus! 487 00:20:59,014 --> 00:21:01,933 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 488 00:21:01,933 --> 00:21:04,019 [fighting, yelling, coughing] 489 00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:07,022 Kill all humans! Kill all humans! 490 00:21:07,022 --> 00:21:09,065 Can robots even get the virus? 491 00:21:09,065 --> 00:21:10,567 What virus? [grunts] 492 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:11,818 [crashes] 493 00:21:11,818 --> 00:21:13,069 [whirring, rattling] 494 00:21:13,069 --> 00:21:16,239 Now, the key is to produce a voodoo potion 495 00:21:16,239 --> 00:21:19,200 that tricks the body into thinking it has the virus, 496 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,911 but without actually gettin' the disease. 497 00:21:21,911 --> 00:21:25,874 Aha! So, the immune system falls under its spell 498 00:21:25,874 --> 00:21:29,294 and produces anti-jujus that attack the spike protein, 499 00:21:29,294 --> 00:21:32,172 thus inoculating against future infection. 500 00:21:32,172 --> 00:21:33,673 Precisely. 501 00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:36,968 You got some serious mental pecs, husband. 502 00:21:36,968 --> 00:21:39,095 My second favorite kind. 503 00:21:39,095 --> 00:21:40,347 [stretching] 504 00:21:40,347 --> 00:21:41,848 Hey, cut that out! 505 00:21:41,848 --> 00:21:44,142 Why didn't I get a wink for my mental pecs? 506 00:21:44,976 --> 00:21:47,354 Now, we gonna need an animal sacrifice. 507 00:21:47,354 --> 00:21:49,773 I-I mean, um, test subject. 508 00:21:49,773 --> 00:21:52,817 Not me. [coughs] I'm too angry! 509 00:21:52,817 --> 00:21:54,319 Don't worry, man. 510 00:21:54,319 --> 00:21:56,446 The doll won't feel a thing. 511 00:21:56,446 --> 00:21:59,032 Ow! My calculator arm! 512 00:21:59,032 --> 00:22:00,950 [sighs] I just hope it's got the mojo 513 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:03,078 to defeat this anger virus. 514 00:22:03,078 --> 00:22:04,829 Come, let's run a test. 515 00:22:04,829 --> 00:22:07,832 [smooching] [LaBarbara moans] 516 00:22:08,583 --> 00:22:12,545 Hm. I just feel a normal, easy-to-repress rage. 517 00:22:12,545 --> 00:22:16,091 Then, perhaps we should test it a bit more thoroughly. 518 00:22:16,091 --> 00:22:17,550 [giggles] 519 00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:19,010 That's enough testing! 520 00:22:19,010 --> 00:22:19,803 ♪ 521 00:22:19,803 --> 00:22:23,515 LABARBARA: Voodoo shots! Freshly conjured voodoo shots! 522 00:22:23,515 --> 00:22:25,016 LEELA: Ow! 523 00:22:29,354 --> 00:22:31,398 Can you assure me there is absolutely 524 00:22:31,398 --> 00:22:33,483 no science in this vaccine? 525 00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:37,362 Nothing but 100% Louisiana swamp voodoo. 526 00:22:37,362 --> 00:22:38,947 [Dr. Banjo grunts] 527 00:22:38,947 --> 00:22:40,615 [monkey ooking] 528 00:22:42,283 --> 00:22:43,993 - [doll squeaks] - Ouchie! 529 00:22:43,993 --> 00:22:46,329 I was, uh, promised a lollipop. 530 00:22:46,329 --> 00:22:48,498 Uh, here. [slurp] 531 00:22:48,498 --> 00:22:51,501 Mm, tastes a bit like wig glue. [slurp] 532 00:22:51,501 --> 00:22:54,379 What a bunch of mumbo gumbo! [doll squeaks] 533 00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:56,798 Anything I can't understand is fake! 534 00:22:56,798 --> 00:22:57,882 [stab] Ooh! 535 00:22:57,882 --> 00:22:59,968 ♪ tense ♪ 536 00:22:59,968 --> 00:23:01,636 ♪ peaceful ♪ 537 00:23:01,636 --> 00:23:03,930 Ahh, that's better. 538 00:23:03,930 --> 00:23:05,432 Hermes, my friend. 539 00:23:05,432 --> 00:23:09,352 I owe you an apology for being so anti-voodoo. 540 00:23:09,352 --> 00:23:12,188 It may seem bat-whack crazy to a layman, 541 00:23:12,188 --> 00:23:14,691 but I see now that voodoo methods 542 00:23:14,691 --> 00:23:18,028 are built on centuries of brilliant scholarship. 543 00:23:18,028 --> 00:23:21,406 It's okay, Professor. And it's understandable. 544 00:23:21,406 --> 00:23:24,784 After all, any sufficiently advanced magic 545 00:23:24,784 --> 00:23:28,079 is indistinguishable from science. 546 00:23:28,079 --> 00:23:29,205 [squeak] 547 00:23:29,205 --> 00:23:30,582 [stab, inject] 548 00:23:30,582 --> 00:23:33,084 Ahh yeah... 549 00:23:33,084 --> 00:23:35,587 ♪ uplifting ♪ 550 00:23:36,129 --> 00:23:39,132 ♪ 39980

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