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>> JIMMY: My frame of reference
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for love has always come from
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literature.
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In my brooding youth, BrontГ«
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encapsulated my viewpoint
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thusly: "The trouble is not that
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I am single and likely to stay
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single, but that I am lonely and
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likely to stay lonely."
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But as I grew up, my darkening
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view was more Shakespeare:
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"Love is merely a madness and I
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tell you, deserves as well a
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dark house and a whip as
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madmen do."
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But now...
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now...
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since you...
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to my abject horror, my view on
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love can be best described by
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Nicholas Sparks in The Notebook:
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"It's not easy...
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it's hard...
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and you have to work at it,
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but it's worth it...
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because I want you...
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I want all of you...
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forever."
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Or something like that.
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>> BECCA: No.
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>> * I'm gonna leave you anyway
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I'm gonna leave you anyway
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Gonna leave you anyway. *
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>> SAM: * I'm here
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>> SHITSTAIN: Uh... uh... uh.
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>> SAM: * I think I saw a deer
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>> HONEY NUTZ: What?
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>> SAM: * I'm about to kill
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the deer
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And get some meat *
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>> SHITSTAIN: Uh... uh.
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>> SAM: * 'Cause I'm hungry.
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Everybody talking 'bout they
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homies *
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>> SHITSTAIN: What?
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>> SAM: * My chain bling, bling!
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Now these girls owe me... *
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(both sniffling, sighing)
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>> LINDSAY: Tomorrow...
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we meet with the flower guy...
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then we're tasting cakes,
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and then me and, uh...
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Ugh...!
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>> GRETCHEN: You don't know your
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fiancГ©'s name?
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>> LINDSAY (laughs): Of course I
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know his... don't be dumb.
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Paul!
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I'm just wired!
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>> GRETCHEN: Call it off.
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>> LINDSAY: No way!
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You should've seen Becca's dumb
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face when I told her I was
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getting married before her, and
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Mom has never paid me so much
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attention.
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I should've gotten married when
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I was 12.
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>> GRETCHEN: All right, you have
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to promise me something--
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cross your tits, hope to die--
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that even though you're getting
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m-m... married...
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we are gonna keep this party
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going, right?
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'Cause this is how this starts.
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First, you get married, then you
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get some bullshit job, then you
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have kids and then you die.
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But what you don't know...
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is that you were dead the entire
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time.
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>> LINDSAY: I'm on a lot of
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drugs right now.
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Can you not tell me I'm dead?
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I promise!
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I got to go pee.
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>> SAM (sighs): Ah...
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How was it?
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>> ENGINEER: Oh, dope, Sam.
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>> SAM: Not you, bitch.
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>> ENGINEER: Oh.
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>> SAM: You, bitch!
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>> GRETCHEN: What?
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Oh, me?
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No...
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I'm just Rick's shitty
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assistant.
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>> SAM: That Harvey
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Weinstein-on-antibiotics
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lookin' nerd couldn't be
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bothered to attend the final mix
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of my first major album?!
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>> GRETCHEN: He sent muffins.
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Hey, can I ask you guys
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something?
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Is...
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that how you normally dress?
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>> SHITSTAIN: What, like, in our
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regular lives?
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Like when we go to the farmer's
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market?
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>> HONEY NUTZ: Uh... Rick
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suggested that we cultivate
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a street-look.
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>> GRETCHEN: What do you usually
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look like?
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>> SAM: Annoying, white, skater
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kids from Venice at a rave.
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>> GRETCHEN: Well, then...
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I don't know, maybe dress like
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that.
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>> SAM: Tell Rick he's fired.
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You're our new publicist.
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>> GRETCHEN: What, me?
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N-No... I'm not a... (laughing)
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I'm not looking for a real job.
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>> SAM: Tough shit, bitch!
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You in it now.
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>> STEEB: I'm speaking with
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Jimmy Shive-Overly about his...
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pugnacious debut novel,
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Congratulations, You're Dying.
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Tell us about your writing
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process.
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>> JIMMY: Rage, heartbreak...
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alcohol.
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>> STEEB: Heartbreak?
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>> JIMMY: I woke up one day and
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found myself happy.
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It was awful.
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>> STEEB: Mm...
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Elucidate, please.
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>> JIMMY: The lass eviscerated
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me, as lasses are wont to do.
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That was about a year
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and a half ago.
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Best thing she ever could have
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done for me.
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>> STEEB: The book?
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>> JIMMY: Yeah...
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'Twas a result of that
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disemboweling.
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It was then I learned the
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truth of my writing.
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I suck when I'm happy.
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>> STEEB: Mmm!
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You have to be miserable to
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produce?
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>> JIMMY: Oh, I wouldn't say,
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"miserable," but I'd say
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constant horror and bone-deep
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dissatisfaction is helpful.
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Yeah.
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>> STEEB: You're listening to
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Folio.
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I'm your host, Steeb
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Corniglia, here with the
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puissant Jimmy Shive-Overly.
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Jimmy, it seems to me endemic in
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your work that the parental
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characters obfuscate by playing
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almost prosaic arpeggios on the
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central motif.
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>> JIMMY: I'm glad you picked up
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on that.
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>> STEEB: Mmm...
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>> EDGAR: How scary is America
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now... bitch?!
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Jimmy!
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Jimmy?
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>> JIMMY: I don't have any
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change, I don't have any change!
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>> EDGAR: What?
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No.
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It's Edgar.
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>> JIMMY: I used to buy weed
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from you.
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>> EDGAR: That's me.
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>> JIMMY: Get off me!
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>> EDGAR: How's it going?
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>> JIMMY: Yeah, great.
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I just got done doing a, uh,
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radio show about my new novel.
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>> EDGAR: That's awesome.
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I'm happy for you.
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>> JIMMY: Thanks.
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>> EDGAR: Yeah.
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>> JIMMY: You don't look so
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good.
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Here, I got something for you.
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Free of charge.
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I'll even sign it.
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So what's the latest?
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>> EDGAR: Actually, I got home
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from Iraq and things have
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been...
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sort of hard, in terms of
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adjusting.
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And homelessness.
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>> JIMMY: Well, hey, if things
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ever get really dire, I've got
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this chaise on my deck, you
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could always sleep there for
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a night.
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>> EDGAR: Awesome.
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Could, sh-should we, sh-should
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we go now or...?
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>> JIMMY: Right, so if...
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things ever get really dire, the
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publisher's e-mail's in the back
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of the book.
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All right, bye.
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>> EDGAR: You son of a...
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bitch!
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(photographers clamoring)
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>> INTERVIEWER: Sam! Sam, Sam.
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Hey.
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You guys recorded a song for the
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soundtrack, correct?
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>> SAM: I don't know.
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Is it a song?
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>> INTERVIEWER: Right!
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Well, what do you make of the
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themes of the movie?
236
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I mean, it is at its heart
237
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a war movie.
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>> SAM: Oh.
239
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Is tha the theme...?
240
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>> INTERVIEWER: Thanks.
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>> GRETCHEN: The guys are so
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excited to have contributed to
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such an esteemed director's film
244
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and... you know where I'm going
245
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with this.
246
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Just finish the quote for me.
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(Ty clears throat)
248
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>> TY: Ty Wyland.
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The director.
250
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That you were just talking
251
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about.
252
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>> GRETCHEN: Where'd you get the
253
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drink?
254
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(Ty laughs wryly)
255
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>> TY: I'll show you if you
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agree to get dinner with me
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sometime.
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>> GRETCHEN: Yeah... dating's
259
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,938
not really my thing.
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>> TY: Good. Me neither.
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So I'll call you in a couple
262
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,643
weeks?
263
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,710
Heading to India for a
264
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,445
little bit.
265
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,780
>> GRETCHEN: Okay.
266
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,781
I warned you.
267
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,083
>> TY: I'll call you.
268
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,794
>> GRETCHEN: Listen, Nestor, I
269
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,996
am flattered, but I've been kind
270
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,898
of seeing someone for about a
271
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,899
year now.
272
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,500
I'm actually on my way to his
273
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:21,802
house right now.
274
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,804
So I won't be coming over to
275
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,805
your hotel.
276
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,239
But, trust me, the guys are
277
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,241
over the moon about the photo
278
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,810
shoot.
279
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,145
You are their favorite
280
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,815
photographer by miles.
281
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,217
Mm-hmm.
282
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,986
Ciao.
283
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,888
(turns up volume)
284
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,190
*
285
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,135
(phone chimes)
286
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:55,903
>> GRETCHEN: Seriously?
287
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,170
Dude, I'm on my way to
288
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,707
your house.
289
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,851
Aw, shit.
290
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,853
Shit!
291
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,955
Shit.
292
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,256
(dog barking in distance)
293
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,894
(clanking, scraping)
294
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:33,907
(indistinct police radio
295
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:34,908
communication)
296
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,076
>> GRETCHEN: Shit.
297
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:39,880
>> JIMMY: It's been a year!
298
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,982
Where the hell are my royalties?
299
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,050
Because I need them to live off
300
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,584
of.
301
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,720
Yes, I know Junot DГaz writes
302
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,221
for Esquir but I am a
303
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,923
novelist.
304
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,591
Yeah, I'm-I'm working on the
305
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,093
follow-up, but it's-it's slow
306
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,227
going and...
307
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,664
I'll talk to you later.
308
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,732
>> EDGAR: I'm nervous, Jimmy.
309
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,567
I-I haven't been to a big social
310
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,969
event since I've been back.
311
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,236
Are you sure they know I'm
312
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,237
coming?
313
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,006
>> JIMMY: Yes. Get in.
314
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,941
>> EDGAR: Are you sure... it's
315
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,777
even a good idea that you go?
316
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:10,778
>> JIMMY: What's the worst I
317
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:11,779
could do?
318
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,246
>> EDGAR: Okay. Fine.
319
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,247
>> JIMMY: No, seriously, what is
320
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,749
the worst I could do?
321
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,750
I've been up all night working
322
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:17,751
on my list of ways to ruin their
323
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:18,752
wedding.
324
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,120
I keep getting stuck around
325
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,122
"Seduce the groom's mother."
326
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,326
>> KILLIAN: Hi, new neighbors!
327
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,828
Hi!
328
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,130
Hello!
329
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,009
>> LINDSAY: Were the other jail
330
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,777
girls mean?
331
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,112
Did any of them try to make out
332
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,113
with you?
333
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,614
>> GRETCHEN: No.
334
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,949
But one girl kept some pretty
335
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,150
strong eye contact with me while
336
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,119
she was on the toilet.
337
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,286
>> PAUL: Well, we should
338
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,722
vГЎmonos, seГ±oritas.
339
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:55,723
>> GRETCHEN: What'd you get
340
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,724
them, anyway?
341
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,125
>> LINDSAY: A food processor.
342
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,159
>> GRETCHEN: (scoffs) I don't
343
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,861
get it.
344
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:01,895
Why does everyone feel the need
345
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,230
to have these things, these,
346
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,799
like, symbols of adulthood?
347
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,300
Like, a food processor?
348
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,902
Why do you need this stuff?
349
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:09,903
>> PAUL: That's an interesting
350
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:10,904
question.
351
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,807
I think, maybe, it means you're
352
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,809
investing in your future.
353
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,177
You may not use it every day or
354
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,646
even very often at all, but
355
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,049
knowing that at any moment you
356
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,018
could make pesto without having
357
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,653
to borrow a friend's or
358
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,322
improvise some lesser method,
359
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,924
that knowledge, that
360
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:34,327
possibility, makes you an adult.
361
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,329
>> LINDSAY: Plus, this one,
362
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,397
it's, like, one level worse than
363
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,932
ours, so Becca can never beat
364
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,167
me.
365
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,435
Bitch.
366
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,104
*
367
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,673
>> MAN: * Mm-hmm, hmm, hmm
368
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,708
Yeah
369
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,343
Aw, yeah... *
370
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,344
>> WEDDING COORDINATOR: I'm
371
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,345
sorry, Jimmy.
372
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,346
You didn't include a name for
373
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,347
your plus-one so we didn't hold
374
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,348
the space.
375
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,416
>> EDGAR: Jim-Jim...
376
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,851
Um, I-I could help serve food
377
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:58,852
or...
378
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,853
>> JIMMY: I put in two years
379
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,454
penetrating the bride at least
380
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,390
thrice weekly.
381
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,925
I deserve to have a friend here.
382
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:05,926
>> WEDDING COORDINATOR: I'll see
383
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,261
what I can do.
384
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,067
>> PAUL: Hey, Jimmy.
385
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,236
>> JIMMY: Sorry, have we met?
386
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,871
>> PAUL: Okay.
387
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:18,906
I get it.
388
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,040
Shut the door on the former
389
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,208
life.
390
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,442
I think it's very brave of you
391
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,476
to have come.
392
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,946
>> JIMMY: Mmm. Thanks.
393
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,281
You.
394
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:34,721
>> WEDDING COORDINATOR: Okay,
395
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,823
I found you a seat.
396
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:36,824
>> GRETCHEN: One day all my
397
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,491
L.A. friends were married, with
398
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,061
houses and adult jobs,
399
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,162
Instagramming every time they
400
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,763
went to the ArcLight.
401
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,798
So, basically, there's nothing
402
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:45,799
keeping me here.
403
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,800
And I figured if I want to move
404
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,135
to New York, where I still have
405
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,236
friends who aren't collecting
406
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,770
their eggs in petri dishes,
407
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:51,771
why not?
408
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:52,772
>> BARTENDER: So you don't want
409
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:53,773
the drink?
410
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,908
>> GRETCHEN: So I am moving
411
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,243
tomorrow.
412
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,945
To New York.
413
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,079
I'm not even gonna say good-bye
414
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,080
to anyone.
415
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,081
I hate good-byes.
416
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,082
>> BARTENDER: Leaving a whole
417
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,250
city Irish, huh?
418
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,918
That's hard-core.
419
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:05,986
>> GRETCHEN: Hey, what do you
420
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,020
think a nice food processor goes
421
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,021
for?
422
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:09,022
>> BARTENDER: I don't know.
423
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,157
400, 500 bucks?
424
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,491
>> GRETCHEN: Seriously?
425
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,994
Sweet.
426
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,102
>> EDGAR: So, uh, are you all...
427
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,103
you all gonna have the nuggets
428
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,771
or-or the mac and cheese?
429
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,773
I can't decide.
430
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,941
(clears throat)
431
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,843
So, what do you do?
432
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,778
>> GIRL: I'm a child.
433
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,346
>> EDGAR: Cool.
434
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,116
Are we getting together after
435
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,317
or...
436
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,853
Cheers.
437
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,460
>> JIMMY: No, you're right.
438
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,461
This day isn't about me, is it?
439
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,462
>> BECCA: What were you gonna
440
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,463
say?
441
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,464
>> JIMMY: Forget it.
442
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,000
>> BECCA: No, I'm serious.
443
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,467
I really want to know what does
444
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,136
the brilliant Jimmy
445
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,105
Shive-Overly think about me!
446
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,408
(anxious laugh)
447
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,409
>> JIMMY: I'm not one for
448
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,144
psychic thought or oracles, but,
449
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,313
Rebecca...
450
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,480
(quietly): you and I have not
451
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,349
made love for the last time.
452
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,922
>> VERNON: Hey!
453
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:18,025
(Becca crying)
454
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,827
>> PAUL: ...and, Vernon, to
455
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,996
you, I just want to say,
456
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,998
"Welcome to the family.
457
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,866
It gets better."
458
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,867
>> VERNON: (chuckles) What a
459
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,069
dork.
460
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,070
>> BECCA: I can't believe it
461
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,071
took them two months to edit our
462
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,072
wedding video.
463
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,073
>> VERNON: Dave did it for free.
464
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,074
>> BECCA: Yeah, well, you get
465
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,075
what you pay for.
466
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,409
Oh, I talked to Aunt Helen.
467
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,410
She insists she got us a
468
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,411
blender.
469
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,412
You don't have to get us a
470
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:40,413
wedding gift, but don't lie
471
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,614
about it.
472
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,882
>> LINDSAY: Um, anyway, I love
473
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:43,883
you so much.
474
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,119
And, remember, there is no shame
475
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,355
whatsoever in getting married
476
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,556
two years after your little
477
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,024
sister.
478
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,025
Siblings mature at different
479
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,026
rates.
480
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,227
(Vernon laughs)
481
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,228
>> BECCA: What a cooze.
482
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,429
>> VERNON: Paul, did you hear?
483
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,464
Jimmy took a photo of his dingus
484
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,465
on every one of our disposable
485
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,466
cameras.
486
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,467
>> PAUL: Seriously?
487
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,468
>> VERNON: Yeah.
488
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,869
What a classic heckle.
489
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,937
Becca recognized it on account
490
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,272
of it having been in her mouth
491
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,607
so much.
492
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,044
>> PAUL: Did you hear?
493
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,045
They broke up.
494
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,046
>> VERNON: Who?
495
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,047
Jimmy and Gretchen? No.
496
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,048
>> BECCA: What?
497
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,049
>> PAUL: Yeah.
498
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,650
Gretchen's really upset.
499
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,120
I can't say I'm that surprised.
500
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,321
They're both quite spirited.
501
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,389
>> VERNON: Wow.
502
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,623
That's a bummer.
503
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:24,992
I should call him.
504
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:25,993
He's probably waiting to hear
505
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:26,994
from me.
506
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,261
Let me get one of those?
507
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,262
>> BECCA: These are pretty
508
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,598
expensive.
509
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,011
>> JIMMY: Superman is aware that
510
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,146
kryptonite is his kryptonite,
511
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,180
and he keeps getting mixed up
512
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,515
with it anyway.
513
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,583
Women, romantic happiness, is my
514
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,419
kryptonite.
515
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,320
I got complacent being with
516
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,121
Becca and produced shit-all.
517
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,022
And the minute she left me
518
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,423
twisting up on that hill with
519
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,590
that ring--
520
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,592
Bam, the book came to me.
521
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,094
Whole cloth.
522
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,096
And then-- then I did it again.
523
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,098
At that selfsame succubi's
524
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,100
wedding, no less.
525
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,701
And, no doubt, my work suffered
526
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,037
being with Gretchen.
527
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,972
And now, having broken up with
528
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,941
her is guaranteed to release
529
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,109
the words.
530
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,644
In fact, I can feel all my
531
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,213
creative juices returning to me
532
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,615
already.
533
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:23,950
I wouldn't be surprised if I
534
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,652
started playing guitar again.
535
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,220
Nope.
536
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,357
Would not be surprised at all.
537
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:34,127
Cheers, mate.
538
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,628
This is normally where you make
539
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,364
a weird non sequitur and I
540
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,365
chastise you and continue
541
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,366
talking.
542
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,367
>> EDGAR: Yeah, well, with
543
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,501
Gretchen, you've been actually
544
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,969
kind of fun to be around, but
545
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,337
if you're telling me that we're
546
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,638
going back to you being a
547
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,507
hundred percent dick so that you
548
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,741
can write another stupid book I
549
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:49,742
won't read?
550
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,078
(scoffs) Uh-uh.
551
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,079
Unsubscribe.
552
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,080
>> JIMMY: Whoa, what are you
553
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,081
doing?
554
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,082
You never pay for drinks.
555
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,083
>> EDGAR: I'm done owing you
556
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,084
stuff, Jimmy.
557
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,085
>> JIMMY: Oh, sit down, man.
558
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,086
>> EDGAR: Don't tell me what to
559
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,087
do.
560
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,254
You don't get to tell me what to
561
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,523
do anymore!
562
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,524
>> JIMMY: It's PTSD.
563
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,525
He's all right, he's fine.
564
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,526
>> EDGAR: You know that night
565
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,694
you met Gretchen?
566
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,396
Do you remember how nervous I
567
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,165
was to go to Becca's wedding?
568
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,667
How crowds freak me out?
569
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,668
>> JIMMY: That was a lifetime
570
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,669
ago.
571
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,505
>> EDGAR: It was two months ago.
572
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,407
You brought me as a prop
573
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,709
and then forgot about me.
574
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,044
I had to sit with a bunch of
575
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,379
very condescending and
576
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,514
unfriendly children who wouldn't
577
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,216
even invite me to the after
578
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,384
party.
579
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,253
I'm going to get my stuff.
580
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,287
I'll leave the keys on
581
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,288
the table.
582
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:40,760
>> JIMMY: Wait.
583
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,761
You didn't read my book?
584
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,396
>> EDGAR: No way.
585
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,031
It looked crazy boring.
586
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,700
>> JIMMY: Well, fine, go.
587
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,302
You're only helping me.
588
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,604
Now I'm even... even more alone.
589
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:58,311
>> VERNON: Hey, I got something
590
00:17:58,345 --> 00:17:58,711
for you.
591
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,412
>> PAUL: What?
592
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,079
(farts)
593
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:00,713
>> PAUL: Oh!
594
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,548
>> VERNON: That's for you.
595
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,649
It's a gift, straight from the
596
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,651
heart.
597
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,492
>> PAUL: Ugh.
598
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,494
(car door shuts, engine starts)
599
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:19,098
>> VERNON: She left. Huh.
600
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,400
Bitches be trippin'.
601
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,401
Speaking of bitches, where'd you
602
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,402
say Lindsay was?
603
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,403
>> PAUL: Comforting Gretchen
604
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,104
after the breakup.
605
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,105
Still.
606
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,340
>> VERNON: Sweet.
607
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:28,408
Let's bust open some scotch and
608
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,409
get dumb.
609
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,810
>> PAUL: I really shouldn't.
610
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,811
And didn't you say you have
611
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:32,812
surgery in the morning?
612
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:33,813
>> VERNON: Come on, Paul.
613
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:34,814
Don't be such a fa...
614
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:35,815
>> SAM: * Part scorpion
615
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:36,683
>> SINGERS: * Uh-huh
616
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,684
>> SAM: * Part accordion
617
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:38,585
>> SINGERS: * Uh-huh
618
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,586
>> SAM: * Lord, according to Tom
619
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,587
Ford, I'm born again *
620
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,521
(Honey Nutz and Shitstain whoop)
621
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,522
>> SAM: * I'm a cash box
622
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,523
drippin' full of fives and tens
623
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,424
I'm the sarcophagus, the
624
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,425
parasite, so put me in *
625
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,259
>> SHITSTAIN: Let's go!
626
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,260
>> HONEY NUTZ: * You in the
627
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,661
Thunderdome, son, with the young
628
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,430
one writin' a blank check like
629
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,598
* If my name was Young Gun
630
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,599
>> SHITSTAIN: * Pass the iced
631
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,101
tea, I'm parched, Middlemarch,
632
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,102
cookie fart, false start,
633
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,270
all parched... *
634
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,271
(whoops)
635
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,439
(both snorting)
636
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,773
>> LINDSAY: Marriage is such
637
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,275
bullshit.
638
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,510
Why didn't you warn me?
639
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,511
>> GRETCHEN: The morning of your
640
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,379
wedding, I said, "Lindsay, don't
641
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,647
do this."
642
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,816
>> LINDSAY: The girls are back.
643
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,818
>> GRETCHEN: Oh, thank God.
644
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,386
I never told you-- I was gonna
645
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,387
move to New York after Becca's
646
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,388
wedding.
647
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:16,389
>> LINDSAY: What?
648
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,390
>> GRETCHEN: Yeah.
649
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,326
I was like, "Everyone's getting
650
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,294
so serious about everything.
651
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,295
Ooh, my marriage, my career,
652
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:25,832
I have groceries."
653
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:26,833
I was like, "Nothing's keeping
654
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,135
me here, let's go."
655
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,136
>> LINDSAY: Okay.
656
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,571
>> GRETCHEN: Okay what?
657
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,206
>> LINDSAY: Let's go.
658
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,207
Let's go.
659
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:35,308
Gretchen, nothing's keeping me
660
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:36,309
here, either.
661
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,310
>> GRETCHEN: Lindsay.
662
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,545
>> LINDSAY: Think about it.
663
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,847
We can do drugs and go to weird
664
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,582
Puerto Rican dance halls and
665
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,183
take so much New York dick that
666
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,752
our pussies start talking like,
667
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,320
(New York accent): "Oh, another
668
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,655
one-- fuggedaboutit."
669
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,656
But they won't forget about it,
670
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,857
Gretch, because we're just that
671
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:51,858
memorable.
672
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:52,859
>> GRETCHEN: How much blow have
673
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:53,860
you done?
674
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,328
>> LINDSAY: Oh, my God, I'm so
675
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,163
excited about this plan that I
676
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,498
have to pee.
677
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,401
(Sam whoops, laughs)
678
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,738
>> SAM: Yo, what the hell are
679
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:06,739
you doing?
680
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,575
>> GRETCHEN: Partying, what?
681
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,209
>> SAM: This is where we work.
682
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,444
>> GRETCHEN: Come on.
683
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,512
This is where you do drugs
684
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,846
and make up nonsense into the
685
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,882
mic.
686
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,620
>> SAM: You know, you were
687
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,522
actually a pretty good PR rep,
688
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,756
there.
689
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,359
But lately, your ass has been
690
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,727
tragic.
691
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,228
If Rick hadn't died in that
692
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,398
Jet Ski accident, his ass would
693
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,533
be replacing you right now.
694
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,701
>> GRETCHEN: You do the same
695
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,702
dumb stuff I do.
696
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,470
>> SAM: Bitch, I am 21.
697
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:40,239
You're 30.
698
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,274
>> LINDSAY: Hey, dawgs.
699
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,275
(giggles)
700
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:43,276
Should we live in a studio in
701
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,277
New York?
702
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,545
If we bang the same guys, we
703
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,546
only need one bed.
704
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,915
Gretch, do coke off my titties.
705
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,249
>> GRETCHEN: I... I'm gonna go
706
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,250
home.
707
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,552
>> LINDSAY: With who, Shitstain?
708
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,920
'Cause I'll take the other one.
709
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,389
>> GRETCHEN: No, alone.
710
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,292
This feels like someone else.
711
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:00,427
I don't know.
712
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,661
I'm sorry.
713
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,729
I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna
714
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,730
take a shower and I'm gonna
715
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,731
figure out what I'm gonna do
716
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,732
with my life.
717
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:06,933
Maybe you should, too.
718
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:07,934
>> LINDSAY: Are you goddamn
719
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:08,935
kidding me?
720
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,804
You always give me shit for
721
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:12,939
being married, and now I'm
722
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,507
cheating on my husband and you
723
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,508
bail?
724
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,909
You always bail on me, and I'm
725
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,511
sick of it.
726
00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:19,579
>> GRETCHEN: I can only help
727
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,814
myself, Linds, sorry.
728
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:22,982
>> LINDSAY: Fine!
729
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,651
I don't need you!
730
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,285
You watch!
731
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,457
(inhaling)
732
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:35,428
>> JIMMY: Come on.
733
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,697
Shit.
734
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:38,631
(knocking on door)
735
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,703
>> BECCA: Well, you were right,
736
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:44,704
Jimmy.
737
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,473
Here I am.
738
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,441
>> JIMMY: Sorry?
739
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,609
>> BECCA: Your prediction.
740
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:50,843
At the wedding.
741
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:51,844
>> JIMMY: What are you talking
742
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:54,447
about?
743
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,615
>> BECCA: "You and I have not
744
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,617
made love for the last time."
745
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,718
>> JIMMY: Why would you say
746
00:21:58,751 --> 00:21:59,719
that?
747
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,721
>> BECCA: No, you said that.
748
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,789
At my wedding.
749
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:03,890
>> JIMMY: I did?
750
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,858
Well, that was quite a heckle.
751
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:06,959
>> BECCA: Oh, shut up.
752
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,027
Come on, let's go.
753
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,629
>> JIMMY: Becca, please...
754
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:10,697
What are you doing?
755
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:11,798
>> BECCA: Is this a joke?
756
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,333
Are you not gonna have sex
757
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:15,334
with me?
758
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,970
>> JIMMY: Becca, you're married.
759
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,872
>> BECCA: Oh, my God.
760
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,508
You are a sociopath.
761
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:22,742
I should've known.
762
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,644
I-Is my entire life just a game
763
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:25,645
to you?
764
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:26,646
>> JIMMY: Becca, please, why
765
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:27,647
don't you just go home?
766
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,915
Get some sleep.
767
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,017
You look tired.
768
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,019
>> BECCA: Oh, my God, are you...
769
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,756
*
770
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,829
(cat meows)
771
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,364
(purring)
772
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:58,745
(Jimmy blows air)
773
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,754
>> JIMMY: * You and I...
774
00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:09,422
(humming)
775
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:13,392
Something, fly...
776
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:17,396
* Do, do, do
777
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:20,399
With love for-for...
778
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:23,069
Y-You
779
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:26,973
* I want to fly
780
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:32,712
(off-key): I want to fly
781
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,914
Fly-y... *
782
00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:39,919
* Bom, bom, bom...
783
00:23:42,489 --> 00:23:44,423
* Dun, dun
784
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:46,092
Back, back, back...
785
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,861
Home. *
786
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,133
Captioned by
787
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,134
Media Access Group at WGBH
788
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:57,136
access.wgbh.org
48288
