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(gunfire, explosions on TV)
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(heavy metal music playing)
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>> EDGAR: Jimmy!
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What's happening?!
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What's happening?!
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What are you wearing?
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>> JIMMY: It's your war costume.
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>> EDGAR: It's not a costume!
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And why are you wearing it?
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>> JIMMY: They have a killer
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veterans' discount at the diner.
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>> EDGAR: Seriously? How much?
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>> GRETCHEN: Why'd you let me
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sleep?
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>> JIMMY: Okay, there is an
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alarm on every phone.
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So, literally everybody can be
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self-reliant on this.
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>> GRETCHEN: You went to
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breakfast?
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>> JIMMY: Yes.
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>> GRETCHEN: You went to
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breakfast with Killian?
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>> JIMMY: No, I didn't go to
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breakfast with Killian.
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I went to breakfast with my
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book.
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Killian just happened to be
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sitting across from me,
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prattling on about the fourth
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grade.
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>> KILLIAN: Seventh grade.
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>> GRETCHEN: Listen, Jimmy, I'm
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only gonna say this once.
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You and me, we could end
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tomorrow, who knows, but in the
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meantime, if there is even a
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remote possibility of breakfast
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and you don't wake me up, I will
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never touch your dick again with
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any part of my body.
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At least you brought me
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leftovers.
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>> JIMMY: Oh, actually, those
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were for... Yeah, enjoy those.
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>> EDGAR: He wore my uniform for
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a discount.
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>> GRETCHEN: What about the kid?
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>> JIMMY: You know how busy that
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place gets on weekends?
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A soldier reunited with his fat
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little son?
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>> GRETCHEN: Hella smart.
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>> JIMMY: Oh, that reminds me.
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Yours came to $18.23.
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We'll just call it $20.
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>> KILLIAN: I don't have any
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money.
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>> JIMMY: Go and steal it from
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your mom's purse like a normal
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boy.
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>> EDGAR: The last time I wore
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that uniform during active duty,
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we were doing house checks.
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A kid, 16, maybe 17, heard us...
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>> JIMMY: This is a really hard
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level.
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>> EDGAR: Oh, I'm sorry.
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I'll stop talking about my
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actual war experiences so you
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can play your war video game.
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>> JIMMY: Thank you.
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>> GRETCHEN: Jimmy.
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>> JIMMY: Oh, come on, his
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stories are super-depressing.
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>> GRETCHEN: I'll listen to your
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stories.
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>> EDGAR: Thanks.
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One day I found four stray dogs
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fighting over a dead baby...
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>> GRETCHEN: Eject!
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Sorry, bud.
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>> EDGAR: That's okay.
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Actually, I-I'm speaking at the
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dedication of a new veterans'
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memorial today if you guys want
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to come...?
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>> LINDSAY: Oh, my God!
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The worst drive over here!
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(sighs)
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What?
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Oh, I had my jaw wired shut, so
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I don't put anything bad in my
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mouth.
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>> GRETCHEN: But putting bad
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stuff in your mouth is kind of
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your thing.
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>> LINDSAY: I know!
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>> GRETCHEN: Thanks for driving
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me to work. Bye.
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>> LINDSAY: Bye, Jimmy.
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>> JIMMY: Bye.
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>> EDGAR: Could you take off my
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uniform now?
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>> JIMMY: Oh, damn it!
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(groans)
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War is hell.
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>> * I'm gonna leave you anyway
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I'm gonna leave you anyway
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Gonna leave you anyway. *
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>> SAM: The craftsman movement
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was a protest against the
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dehumanizing aspects of the
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Industrial Revolution.
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Irony is building these shits
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was so expensive, couldn't no
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laborers even dream of living in
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one.
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>> GRETCHEN: Do you just want to
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send me the Wikipedia link?
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What am I doing here?!
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>> SAM: I need media coverage on
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this bitch, bitch.
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>> GRETCHEN: What are you
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thinking?
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>> SAM: Specifically, I want to
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get the house featured in
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Curbed, Apartment Therapy, or
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Black Dwell.
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>> GRETCHEN: What's Black Dwell?
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>> SAM: It's like Dwell, but for
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black people.
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No... you're right.
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Go for regular Dwell.
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I believe in you.
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>> HONEY NUTZ: On-on purpose?
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>> SHITSTAIN: You ain't break
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your jaw or nothing?
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>> LINDSAY: Nope.
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>> HONEY NUTZ: Isn't your
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husband mad that you can't open
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your mouth?
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>> LINDSAY: Paul only likes
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hand jobs.
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>> SHITSTAIN: But you have a
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huge mouth!
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>> HONEY NUTZ: Seriously.
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You're like a crocodile.
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>> LINDSAY: When I played field
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hockey, they had to melt two
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mouth guards together.
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>> HONEY NUTZ: This fool Paul
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know that if you lose weight,
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that ass gonna shrink, too?
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>> LINDSAY: Mm, Paul isn't an
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ass man.
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>> HONEY NUTZ: Look, why would
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this prick buy the car if he
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ain't even appreciate the
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features?
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>> SAM: My piano teacher growing
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up had a craftsman.
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I used to sit on that bench and
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pray, "God, please, let me have
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a house like this some day.
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Also, let me figure out this
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piece of shit 'Maple Leaf Rag.'"
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>> GRETCHEN: It's one of the
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hardest rags.
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>> SAM: This house really means
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something to me, Gretch.
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>> GRETCHEN: Yeah, buddy.
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It means you've worked hard and
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you made it.
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>> SAM: No, it means I'm gonna
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get so laid.
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House like this, bitches be
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delivering the pussy.
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>> GRETCHEN: "Delivering the
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pussy"?
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>> SAM: Oh, yeah.
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I send out a quick group text.
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"Hey, girl?" or "What's
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crackin'?" or "You want to come
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see my new architecturally
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significant house?"
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Then ding-dong, there it is.
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>> GRETCHEN: Okay.
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>> SAM: Piping fresh at your
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door in 30 minutes or less!
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>> GRETCHEN: All right.
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>> SAM: I get it, though.
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You know, dating is scary for
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women.
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Like, what if for once they
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said, "No, you come to my house
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for it this time," and I didn't
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come?
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>> GRETCHEN: Would you come?
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>> SAM: Hell, no!
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Look at my house.
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These girls are afraid that if
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they opened up a pussy dine-in-
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only joint, no one would come.
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Their tables be empty, have to
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offer Groupons and shit.
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So they keep delivering it.
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>> GRETCHEN: All right, and I'm
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out.
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Great house, dum-dum.
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I'm gonna go back to the office
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and make some calls.
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>> SAM: You do that, bitch.
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Hey, and tell Black Dwell my
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subscription shows up crazy late
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every month!
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Get a free month or some shit!
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(crowd clapping)
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>> COUNCILMAN: Some people think
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Los Angeles is out of touch.
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Too obsessed with the
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entertainment industry to care
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about national issues.
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But with this memorial to our
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nation's heroes, carved by our
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very own Rumer Willis, we will
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demonstrate just how wrong they
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are.
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And now, one of Los Angeles's
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own brave servicemen, Edgar
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Quintero.
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>> EDGAR: Thank you, Councilman
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Jim Burton.
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The process of readjusting for
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a soldier is a difficult one.
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In war, you exist on a higher
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plane of awareness.
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But not in a fun, hippie way.
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You're aware of a window opening
240
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a block away, a pair of socks
241
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being hung on a laundry line
242
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right behind you.
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You're strung tight as a violin.
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And when you come home, that's
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when shit gets real.
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>> COUNCILMAN: Thank for your
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service, soldier.
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And now, L.A.'s very own
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Zig Zags!
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Huh?
251
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:37,798
(crowd cheering)
252
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*
253
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>> These pricks.
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They just trot us out there so
255
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they can feel better about
256
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,058
themselves for a second before
257
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they go back to seeing us as
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disposable meat.
259
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(Edgar snorts)
260
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,333
>> EDGAR: Edgar Quintero.
261
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,902
6th Battalion, 8th Infantry.
262
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,336
>> TOMMY: Tommy Boden.
263
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,605
I don't identify by my troop
264
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,306
anymore.
265
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,675
It's just Tommy now.
266
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,413
>> EDGAR: Oh, let me help you.
267
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,981
>> TOMMY: I can do it!
268
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,449
(sighs)
269
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,450
Sorry.
270
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,619
>> EDGAR: It's okay.
271
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,154
(flicks lighter)
272
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,024
>> TOMMY: I guess I got to get
273
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,192
used to life without a wing now.
274
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,494
>> EDGAR: Yeah, man.
275
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,995
That's rough.
276
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,196
>> EDGAR: Hey, listen, some of
277
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,297
my troopmates are going to get
278
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,966
a bite.
279
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,300
If you want, you should come;
280
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,670
we'd love to hear your stories.
281
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,711
(Gretchen whoops)
282
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:58,646
>> JIMMY: Oh, come on!
283
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,213
>> GRETCHEN: That is 301
284
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,815
exactly, so you have to go down
285
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,184
on me for five hours and one
286
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,185
minute.
287
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,019
>> JIMMY: In a row?
288
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:06,887
I'll die.
289
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,855
>> GRETCHEN: Pussy.
290
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:08,989
All right, three sessions, hour
291
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,524
and a halfish each.
292
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,026
>> JIMMY: That's doable.
293
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,227
God, day drinking's the best.
294
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,362
>> GRETCHEN: Day drinking is the
295
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,564
best. (laughs)
296
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,565
Aren't we lucky we're both in
297
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,799
professions where we can day
298
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,833
drink?
299
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,701
>> JIMMY: Are you in a
300
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,535
profession where you can day
301
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,235
drink?
302
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,036
>> GRETCHEN: They all are if you
303
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:23,971
want it bad enough.
304
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,205
What do you say we get one of
305
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,339
those sessions out of the way
306
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,374
right now?
307
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,341
>> JIMMY: That sounds good.
308
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,643
If we leave now, we can probably
309
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,011
be at my place in 30 minutes or
310
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,345
less.
311
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,881
>> GRETCHEN: Actually, let's go
312
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,982
to my place.
313
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,083
>> JIMMY: You-you-- sorry, your
314
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,317
place? Do you have a place?
315
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,986
>> GRETCHEN: Do you think I just
316
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,053
materialize out of the ether
317
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,088
whenever you want me?
318
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,255
>> JIMMY: No...
319
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,156
>> GRETCHEN: That I exist in
320
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,057
some suspended state of
321
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,225
crypto-animation only made
322
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,060
material when your balls tingle?
323
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,328
>> JIMMY: No.
324
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,196
Not literally.
325
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,397
I'm used to seeing you at my
326
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,231
house.
327
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,265
>> GRETCHEN: You are in rare
328
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,200
form lately.
329
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,101
>> JIMMY: What?
330
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,836
Edgar and his army perks.
331
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,704
Killian, whose name who you
332
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:57,871
constantly forget.
333
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,072
Me who didn't even merit
334
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,207
breakfast.
335
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,909
Are you aware that you only want
336
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,043
people in your life on your
337
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:03,911
terms?
338
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:04,912
>> JIMMY: Yes.
339
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,079
>> GRETCHEN: Well, stop.
340
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,114
Your self-awareness on this
341
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,415
means nothing, if you don't
342
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,416
change it.
343
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:10,718
>> JIMMY: Okay, fine.
344
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,219
How do I start?
345
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,255
>> GRETCHEN: Well, first step,
346
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,457
Jimmy... I need you to come eat
347
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,192
me out in my apartment.
348
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,293
(Jimmy scoffs)
349
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,361
>> BARFLY: I'll do it.
350
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,395
>> GRETCHEN: See?!
351
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,964
I am a wanted woman.
352
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,565
What do you say, buddy?
353
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:26,967
>> JIMMY: Well, I-I-I wouldn't
354
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,568
want to cockblock this fella.
355
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,469
>> BARFLY: Yay!
356
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:30,971
>> JIMMY: But all right.
357
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,774
Let's go.
358
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,176
Sit down, man.
359
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,781
(Gretchen chuckles)
360
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:41,715
>> GRETCHEN: I didn't have a
361
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,051
chance to tidy up.
362
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,086
Cute, huh?
363
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,587
I'm not much of a cleaner.
364
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,422
>> JIMMY: You're not much of a
365
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,590
human.
366
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,092
>> GRETCHEN: Oh, calm down.
367
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,494
I'll be right back.
368
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,333
(cat meows)
369
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,334
>> JIMMY: Whoa.
370
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,469
She never returned you?
371
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,071
(whispering): Do you miss books?
372
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,407
(mewing)
373
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,710
(Jimmy gags, coughs)
374
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,114
>> GRETCHEN: You want to watch a
375
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,149
little TV first?
376
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,184
>> JIMMY: Okay.
377
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,585
Where's the TV?
378
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,419
>> GRETCHEN: I watch on my
379
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,420
computer.
380
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,254
>> JIMMY: What do you mean, you
381
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,022
watch on your computer?
382
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:22,790
>> GRETCHEN: You're so old.
383
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,792
Here.
384
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,264
>> JIMMY: Well, you're a festive
385
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,465
masturbator.
386
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,466
>> GRETCHEN: Couldn't find an
387
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,467
extension cord.
388
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,502
(loud Middle Eastern dance music
389
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,670
begins playing)
390
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,971
>> JIMMY: What is that?
391
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,006
>> GRETCHEN (groans): It's my
392
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,140
neighbor Ladan, she has the
393
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,809
worst taste in music.
394
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,677
(screaming): Turn it down,
395
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,713
whore!
396
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,681
(sighs)
397
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:48,849
Shit.
398
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:49,717
I think I may have downloaded
399
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,052
porn viruses again.
400
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,487
(sighs): Well, you ready to
401
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,556
slice off a piece of this?
402
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,558
>> JIMMY: Not really.
403
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,862
>> GRETCHEN: Too bad.
404
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,496
>> TOMMY: Boys, this is Edgar.
405
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,832
Edgar, this is Bone Bag and
406
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:05,833
Martinez.
407
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:06,633
>> EDGAR: Bone Bag.
408
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,400
>> BONE BAG: Nice to meet you.
409
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,135
>> EDGAR: Martinez.
410
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:08,902
>> MARTINEZ: Hey, man.
411
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:09,803
How are you?
412
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,570
>> EDGAR: Good.
413
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:11,538
>> MARTINEZ: Have a seat.
414
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,873
>> EDGAR: Thank you.
415
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,041
>> MARTINEZ: And so, talk to us,
416
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:14,908
tell us what it feels like
417
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:15,876
being home.
418
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:16,844
>> EDGAR: Oh, well, you know,
419
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,011
it's a hard adjustment, but I
420
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:18,812
got some good friends who
421
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:19,813
support me.
422
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:20,580
>> BONE BAG: It's all you got,
423
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:21,381
right?
424
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,349
Your brothers.
425
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,150
>> EDGAR: Oh, no, I mean civie
426
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,184
friends.
427
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,052
I don't really hang with anyone
428
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,186
from over there.
429
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,254
>> BONE BAG: They remind you
430
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,055
too much of all the shit that
431
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:28,822
went down?
432
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,589
>> EDGAR: Nah, mostly, they're
433
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,490
just kind of dicks.
434
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,258
So where'd you guys train?
435
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,359
I was at Pendleton.
436
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,493
>> TOMMY: Yeah, yeah, same here.
437
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,327
>> MARTINEZ: Bitch, you went to
438
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,395
Juilliard.
439
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,529
>> EDGAR: I've never heard of
440
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,230
that base.
441
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,031
>> WAITRESS: Here you go, guys.
442
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,000
>> MARTINEZ: Ah, yes.
443
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,001
>> BONE BAG: My Pilates
444
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:41,701
instructor is gonna be so
445
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,402
pissed at me.
446
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,203
>> MARTINEZ: Yeah, at least I go
447
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,271
back to boot camp tomorrow.
448
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,438
>> EDGAR: Why would you go back
449
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,439
to boot camp?
450
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,240
>> MARTINEZ: Dude, there's a
451
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,241
great one on Melrose.
452
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,276
>> TOMMY: So, Edgar, why don't
453
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,510
you tell us that story you were
454
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,779
telling at the dedication?
455
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,613
>> EDGAR: Oh, uh, okay, um...
456
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,582
well, you know how when you get
457
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,017
back and it's hard to stop
458
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,551
seeing danger everywhere?
459
00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,452
It's like, I used to have these
460
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,088
dreams about war...
461
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:01,955
>> MARTINEZ: Hold on, hold on.
462
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,090
>> EDGAR: ...lots of violent
463
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,091
stuff.
464
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,258
>> MARTINEZ: Wait, wait, wait.
465
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,693
Okay.
466
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,128
(Edgar clears throat)
467
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,296
>> EDGAR: But...
468
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,098
now they're the same.
469
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,133
Only the dream is set here
470
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,567
at home.
471
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,870
Does that ever happen to you
472
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:17,905
guys?
473
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,873
>> BONE BAG: No, I take Ambien.
474
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:20,908
>> GIRL: Excuse me, we are giant
475
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,942
fans.
476
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,043
Could we get your autograph?
477
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,411
>> TOMMY: Not now.
478
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,948
>> GIRL: Not even here?
479
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,350
>> TOMMY: Absolutely.
480
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,088
>> GIRL: Thanks.
481
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,490
(girl sighs)
482
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,593
>> EDGAR: Who are you guys?
483
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,795
>> MARTINEZ: You didn't tell
484
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:42,662
him?
485
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,396
>> TOMMY: I was just in
486
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,097
character.
487
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:44,932
I was assuming that he knew and
488
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:45,799
he was just running with it.
489
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,834
>> BONE BAG: I'm so sorry, man.
490
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:47,835
We're prepping for a movie.
491
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:48,601
>> MARTINEZ: Uh, it's this
492
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:49,837
gritty indie flick; we play
493
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,104
soldiers trying to adjust to
494
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,139
life back home.
495
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,106
>> TOMMY: Seriously, you've
496
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,241
never seen NCIS: LA?
497
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,475
I was nominated for an ALMA
498
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,243
last year.
499
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,277
I'm a quarter Peruvian, I know I
500
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:57,945
don't look it, but...
501
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:58,946
>> EDGAR: All right, I'm gonna
502
00:12:58,979 --> 00:12:59,947
go.
503
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:00,948
(actors protesting)
504
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,816
>> TOMMY: I am really sorry.
505
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,651
We just want to make this as
506
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,520
real... as possible.
507
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,522
For you.
508
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,191
>> MARTINEZ: Yeah.
509
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,863
>> EDGAR: Okay, I'm in.
510
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,530
All right, I get it.
511
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,598
Yeah, I get it.
512
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,599
>> TOMMY: It's great!
513
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,767
Now, if you could just sign this
514
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,369
life-rights release thingy...
515
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,304
it-it, but, it-it, it's typical
516
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,338
lawyer bullshit-- it's just to
517
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,474
protect you... from suing us.
518
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,742
(Tommy sighs)
519
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:34,814
(people speaking loudly in
520
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:35,815
foreign language)
521
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,817
(Jimmy sighs)
522
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,091
(Jimmy gasps)
523
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,461
>> GRETCHEN: So, you gonna stick
524
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,229
around for a bit or...?
525
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,197
>> JIMMY: Yeah, of course.
526
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,131
>> GRETCHEN (laughs): Oh...
527
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,133
Oh... good... then.
528
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,068
So... we could try to watch TV
529
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,703
again.
530
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,005
>> JIMMY: Except it's not a TV,
531
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,039
is it?
532
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,040
It's a computer.
533
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,041
>> GRETCHEN: I watch television
534
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,042
programs on it, so for my
535
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,176
purposes, it is a TV.
536
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,177
>> JIMMY: Although TVs don't
537
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:04,844
usually get viruses from
538
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:05,645
downloading too many gang bang
539
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,579
videos.
540
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,580
>> GRETCHEN: Consensual group
541
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:08,815
sex is very different than a
542
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,017
gang bang.
543
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,184
>> JIMMY: Is it?
544
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,185
>> GRETCHEN: All right, I get
545
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,386
it.
546
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,421
My place isn't as nice as yours.
547
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,588
>> JIMMY: Your place isn't as
548
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:16,589
nice as a crack hovel.
549
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,824
>> GRETCHEN: Maybe it isn't
550
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,927
perfectly OCD tidy, or decorated
551
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,929
with stupid posters of dumb art,
552
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:22,996
or pillows with goddamn whales,
553
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,164
or old-timey maps, but it's
554
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,165
still my home.
555
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,333
>> JIMMY: My phone is covered in
556
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,534
goo!
557
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,735
>> GRETCHEN: Join the club,
558
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,937
phone!
559
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,171
If you want to go, just go.
560
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,339
>> JIMMY: Not unless you want me
561
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,943
to go.
562
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,512
Fine.
563
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,713
You know what?
564
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,082
I can feel you wanting me to
565
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,417
leave like a scorching flame
566
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,718
emanating from the other side of
567
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:46,920
the bed, so I'm going to leave.
568
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,355
>> GRETCHEN: Don't invent that I
569
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,856
want you to leave just as a
570
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,890
smoke-screen for you wanting to
571
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,092
leave.
572
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,260
>> JIMMY: Then I'll stay!
573
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,461
>> GRETCHEN: No!
574
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,695
I don't want to be the person
575
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,130
who makes you stay somewhere you
576
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,098
don't want to be.
577
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,266
>> JIMMY: If that's what you
578
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,467
want.
579
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,701
(Jimmy clears his throat)
580
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,702
>> GRETCHEN: Fine, just walk
581
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,903
away.
582
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:04,904
>> JIMMY: No, you are kicking me
583
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,106
out!
584
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,107
>> GRETCHEN: Whatever you have
585
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,275
to tell yourself.
586
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:09,476
>> JIMMY: So, I should go or...?
587
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,710
>> GRETCHEN: If that's what you
588
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,911
want to do.
589
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,281
(Jimmy scoffs)
590
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,683
(Gretchen sighs)
591
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,425
>> LINDSAY: What are you doing?
592
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,626
>> EDGAR: Nothing.
593
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,827
They're not home.
594
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,062
>> LINDSAY: Shoot!
595
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,898
I need to talk to Gretchen.
596
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,467
Can I ask you a question?
597
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,569
What do you think of my ass?
598
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,972
>> EDGAR: I-I don't know.
599
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:42,542
Well, let me see it.
600
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,316
It looks fine to me.
601
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,583
I mean, it's just something you
602
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,784
sit on.
603
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:52,986
It's not like the size of your
604
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,187
ass defines you.
605
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,355
>> LINDSAY: You've never been
606
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,956
west of Doheny.
607
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,092
What are you doing out here?
608
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,327
>> EDGAR: Waiting for someone.
609
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,494
>> LINDSAY: Who?
610
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,695
>> EDGAR: My dealer.
611
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,098
I called him, and then I was
612
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,833
waiting, and when I thought it
613
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,435
was him pulling up, I suddenly
614
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,437
thought maybe I didn't want
615
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,105
heroin after all.
616
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,307
>> LINDSAY: Do you want heroin?
617
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,942
>> EDGAR: No.
618
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,211
But mostly yes right now.
619
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,712
>> LINDSAY: Do you want to come
620
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:24,317
with me instead?
621
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,154
>> EDGAR: Yeah.
622
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,522
(engine starting)
623
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,037
(loud music plays in car)
624
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,338
>> KILLIAN: Hi.
625
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,941
>> DEALER: What you need, fool?
626
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,180
>> GRETCHEN: Thanks.
627
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,347
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: You bet.
628
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,515
Sign that, please.
629
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,716
And don't forget to enjoy that
630
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,917
pizza.
631
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,152
I am so excited for you.
632
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,353
And have a beautiful evening.
633
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,521
>> GRETCHEN: Wait a second.
634
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,722
Why the hell are you so happy?
635
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:03,923
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: With
636
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,158
what? Like, my job?
637
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,359
>> GRETCHEN: Well, yeah.
638
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,527
No offense.
639
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,728
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: No, none
640
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:09,929
taken.
641
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,164
It's like a really sweet gig for
642
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,365
me.
643
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,366
I just drive around, listening
644
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,367
to TED Talks or my jams or
645
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,368
whatever, and if I want to get
646
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,569
high, let's roll.
647
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,570
If I don't want to deliver a
648
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,771
pizza, I don't.
649
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:19,772
I just pull over and eat that
650
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:20,773
shit, and I tell 'em I got
651
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,008
robbed again.
652
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,009
Put that up against your 401K,
653
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,211
you know?
654
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,212
>> GRETCHEN: So, you don't want
655
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,213
to have your own pizza
656
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:27,380
restaurant?
657
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,381
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: Oh, my
658
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,382
God, that would be awesome.
659
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,583
You want to do that?
660
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,784
Let's do it.
661
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:32,785
>> GRETCHEN: Oh, no. No, no, no.
662
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:33,786
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: Give me
663
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,021
your number.
664
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,022
>> GRETCHEN: I was just...
665
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,224
Never mind.
666
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,225
>> PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: Yeah,
667
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,226
it's probably a lot of work,
668
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,393
huh?
669
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,394
For now, just delivering
670
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,395
happiness really works for my
671
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,998
lifestyle, so... namaste.
672
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,403
>> EDGAR: Hold still.
673
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,604
One more.
674
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:52,805
>> LINDSAY: Oh.
675
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,040
>> EDGAR: Ah.
676
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,242
>> LINDSAY: Oh. Ah!
677
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,409
(Edgar mumbles)
678
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,610
Ah! Oh, yeah.
679
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,811
>> EDGAR: All right, so my
680
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,880
point is, I just don't want to
681
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:01,981
be some symbol of patriotism.
682
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,283
>> LINDSAY: No kidding.
683
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,451
It's depressing.
684
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,652
Whenever they bring one of those
685
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:06,886
army guys out to sing the
686
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,087
National Anthem, I'm like, "Ugh,
687
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,289
no.
688
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,291
Where's BeyoncГ©?"
689
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,459
>> EDGAR: So, how do I get
690
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,660
people to treat me normal?
691
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,894
>> LINDSAY: Stop talking about
692
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,629
it all the time!
693
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,265
If you have a bad thought, just
694
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,432
push it down.
695
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,234
Or eat it, like I do.
696
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,602
I mean, I don't see
697
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,271
you as just some vet.
698
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,438
>> EDGAR: Well, how do you see
699
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,639
me?
700
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:27,840
>> LINDSAY: As a freeloading,
701
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:28,841
kind of dumb Mexican guy that
702
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,076
hangs out at Jimmy's.
703
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,278
How do you see me?
704
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,813
>> EDGAR: Um... as Gretchen's
705
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,783
pretty friend who should learn
706
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,451
to be happy with who she is.
707
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,619
>> WAITRESS: Here you go.
708
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:40,820
>> LINDSAY: Oh!
709
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,021
>> WAITRESS: So, I didn't get a
710
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,256
chance to tell you when you were
711
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,457
here earlier today, but we have
712
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,658
a military discount.
713
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:46,859
>> EDGAR: Aw, thanks, but... I'm
714
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,094
good.
715
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,296
Psst.
716
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,463
Um, yes, of course I'll have
717
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,865
that discount, thank you.
718
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,100
>> LINDSAY: Ow! Ow!
719
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,302
>> EDGAR: Are you okay?
720
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,469
>> LINDSAY: Yes. The pain makes
721
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,670
it even better.
722
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:58,871
>> EDGAR: Did you...?
723
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,106
>> LINDSAY: Mm-hmm.
724
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,308
>> EDGAR: Hold on.
725
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,475
>> LINDSAY: It's the best.
726
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,676
Right?
727
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,877
>> EDGAR: Aw. Uh-huh.
728
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,447
>> LINDSAY: Mm-hmm.
729
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,317
(knocking)
730
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,484
>> GRETCHEN: Hey.
731
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,685
Where are you going?
732
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:13,886
>> JIMMY: To come see you.
733
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,155
I wanted to say, uh, I'm sorry.
734
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,357
>> GRETCHEN: For dissing my
735
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,491
apartment?
736
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:19,692
>> JIMMY: No. That place is a
737
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,160
shithole, but you're right.
738
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,362
I can be a bit... set in my
739
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,530
ways, and I should have invited
740
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,731
you to breakfast.
741
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,965
>> GRETCHEN: Yes.
742
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,166
>> JIMMY: And I shouldn't have
743
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,368
left your apartment.
744
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,536
>> GRETCHEN: Eh. Actually, I'm
745
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,737
glad you left.
746
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,738
>> JIMMY: You are?
747
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,839
>> GRETCHEN: Turns out I'm
748
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:33,506
like you.
749
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,541
I want things on my own terms,
750
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,542
too.
751
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,743
When I deliver the pussy, I can
752
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:37,977
leave whenever I want.
753
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,178
>> JIMMY: Sorry. Deliver the
754
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,380
pussy?
755
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,548
>> GRETCHEN: It sounds better
756
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,749
when a black guy says it.
757
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:43,983
I am probably broken, Jimmy.
758
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,184
I don't know.
759
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,387
My point is, I am done comparing
760
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,657
this to what normal people do.
761
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,858
>> JIMMY: Good.
762
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,092
Why would we even want to do
763
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,327
what normal people do?
764
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,528
>> GRETCHEN: Yeah.
765
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,898
Normal people are terrible.
766
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,767
So am I coming in, or are we...?
767
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,603
>> JIMMY: Yeah, come on.
768
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,541
>> TOMMY: It's nice that the
769
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:12,111
city unveiled this statue...
770
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,213
but...
771
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,716
it isn't enough...
772
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,752
because we hurt inside.
773
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,954
Every day we ache for our fallen
774
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,189
brothers.
775
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,424
We ache, yet nobody pays
776
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,025
attention!
777
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,895
Well... you're going to pay
778
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,096
attention now.
779
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,264
(Tommy yells, people scream)
780
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,599
>> JIMMY: Hey, that's the guy
781
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,535
from NCIS: LA!
782
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:40,206
Oh, no.
783
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,207
Captioned by
784
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,208
Media Access Group at WGBH
785
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,777
access.wgbh.org
48831
