Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,938
(sultry electronica playing)
2
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,381
>> JIMMY: What?
3
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,382
>> GRETCHEN: You're losing your
4
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,216
hair.
5
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,217
>> JIMMY: What? Why would you
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,085
say that to me?
7
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,052
>> GRETCHEN: I'm practicing.
8
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:18,886
>> JIMMY: Practicing what?
9
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:19,720
Dying alone?
10
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:20,554
>> GRETCHEN: Being honest.
11
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:21,389
>> JIMMY: Well, go and do it
12
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,223
somewhere else.
13
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,224
>> GRETCHEN: You're always so
14
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,658
honest-- I admire that.
15
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,659
I'm a giant liar.
16
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:26,494
Always have been.
17
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,328
>> JIMMY: Always?
18
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,196
>> GRETCHEN: I told the Spice
19
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,029
Girls I was dying of brain
20
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:29,863
cancer in order to get free
21
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:30,864
concert tickets.
22
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:31,865
>> JIMMY: Dishonesty to spare
23
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,101
someone's feelings belittles
24
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,535
everyone involved.
25
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:35,836
Dishonesty to get free stuff is
26
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,405
just smart economics.
27
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,340
>> GRETCHEN: Thanks.
28
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,941
Oh. No.
29
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:41,942
No, no.
30
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:42,943
>> JIMMY: Why not?
31
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,011
>> GRETCHEN: I'm gonna get latex
32
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,012
poisoning.
33
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,013
>> JIMMY: Well, you can't leave
34
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,014
me like this.
35
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,182
I'll be really quick-- you won't
36
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,183
even notice.
37
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,184
>> GRETCHEN: Nice try.
38
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,285
I learned blue balls were a myth
39
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,453
when I was 12.
40
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,721
>> JIMMY: The boy that told you
41
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:57,225
that is a traitor to our gender!
42
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,593
(water running)
43
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,299
(grunts)
44
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,936
(exhales)
45
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,604
>> GRETCHEN: Wow.
46
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,639
Look at you.
47
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:12,806
You're like an animal.
48
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,742
Like some albino gorilla.
49
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:15,776
>> JIMMY: It's your fault, baby.
50
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:16,644
Walking around with that ass.
51
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,578
>> GRETCHEN: You know, erections
52
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,412
can be wasted.
53
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:19,247
You will get another one.
54
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,114
>> JIMMY: But I like this one.
55
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:20,981
>> GRETCHEN: And I thought all
56
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:21,815
Englishmen were sexually
57
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:22,650
repressed.
58
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,651
>> JIMMY: No, you're thinking of
59
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:24,485
the Welsh.
60
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:25,453
So you're just gonna watch me
61
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,287
then?
62
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,288
>> GRETCHEN: I literally can't
63
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,122
look away.
64
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,123
>> JIMMY: You're not gonna ruin
65
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:29,957
this for me.
66
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:30,791
>> GRETCHEN: Okay.
67
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:31,792
>> JIMMY: Doesn't bother me one
68
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:32,626
bit.
69
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,461
>> GRETCHEN: Good.
70
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,462
>> JIMMY: This is gonna happen.
71
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,830
>> GRETCHEN: Glad to hear it.
72
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,671
>> JIMMY: Damn it!
73
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:44,672
>> GRETCHEN: Ha! I win.
74
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:45,673
Well, anyway, I just started my
75
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:46,674
period two days early.
76
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,675
>> JIMMY: Oh.
77
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:48,676
>> GRETCHEN: It's your fault,
78
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,677
buddy.
79
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,678
You're the one who smacked the
80
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,679
side of the ketchup bottle over
81
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:52,680
and over.
82
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:53,814
>> JIMMY: Okay, well, so I'll
83
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,150
see you in five days or so.
84
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:57,785
What?
85
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:58,819
>> GRETCHEN: Seriously?
86
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,288
>> JIMMY: What, do yours last
87
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,289
longer or...
88
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,356
>> GRETCHEN: Forget it.
89
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:03,357
Don't worry.
90
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,358
I'll leave the village till my
91
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,626
moon is over.
92
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,627
>> JIMMY: Well, I could always
93
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,962
play through, as they say.
94
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,198
>> GRETCHEN: Stop.
95
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,633
See you in five days.
96
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,641
(grunts)
97
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:28,148
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
98
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,818
I'm gonna leave you anyway
99
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:34,555
I'm gonna leave you anyway. *
100
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,661
(sniffs)
101
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,630
>> JIMMY: Ferris Bueller.
102
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,631
Awesome.
103
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,632
What channel is it on?
104
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,633
>> EDGAR: It's not.
105
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,867
I rented it.
106
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,135
>> JIMMY: You rented it?
107
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,703
Are you a timecop sent from the
108
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,805
past to kill me?
109
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,375
You rented a DVD?
110
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,509
I literally don't know where one
111
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,577
can do that anymore.
112
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,578
>> EDGAR: Well, I noticed it was
113
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:58,579
playing at the revival house
114
00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,580
this week, and I realized I
115
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,014
hadn't seen it in a while but I
116
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,483
didn't want to risk going in
117
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,484
because of what happened during
118
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,485
Captain Phillips.
119
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,486
>> JIMMY: This movie has one of
120
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,487
the greatest villains of all
121
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,488
time.
122
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,489
>> EDGAR: Yeah.
123
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,090
Principal Rooney is so mean.
124
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,091
>> JIMMY: Rooney?
125
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,092
Rooney's not the villain.
126
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,093
>> EDGAR: Oh, you mean the
127
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,094
sister.
128
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,195
That girl from the movie, um...
129
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,196
>> JIMMY: Dirty Dancing.
130
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,197
>> EDGAR: ...Wind.
131
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,599
>> JIMMY: Right, first of all,
132
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,000
Wind is what you retained from
133
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,002
Jennifer Grey's career?
134
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,003
And, no, she's not the villain
135
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,004
either.
136
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,005
>> EDGAR: Then who is?
137
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,006
>> JIMMY: Cameron.
138
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,007
>> EDGAR: Cam...
139
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,676
No, Cameron's his best friend.
140
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:29,677
Cameron's the sidekick.
141
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,678
>> JIMMY: Edgar, I think I know
142
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,079
a little something about
143
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,847
Campbellian storytelling.
144
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,048
Ferris is the hero.
145
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,850
Jennifer Grey is the foil.
146
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,586
Principal Rooney is the fool.
147
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,788
Sloane is the sidekick.
148
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:41,789
Cameron's the villain.
149
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:42,790
>> EDGAR: Wait, how's Cameron
150
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,124
the villain?
151
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,293
>> JIMMY: Ferris just wants
152
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,694
to show Cameron a fun day,
153
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,928
right, for once in his pathetic
154
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,698
little life, but Cameron acts
155
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,733
like a whiny knob the whole
156
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,102
time, subverting every attempt
157
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,870
at fun with his
158
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,072
passive-aggressive anxiety and
159
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,874
relentless nay-saying,
160
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,042
essentially ruining what might
161
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,077
be Ferris' last day of freedom,
162
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,646
by being a-a miserable,
163
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,748
agoraphobic, cockblocking enemy
164
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,383
of fun.
165
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,618
>> EDGAR: Cameron's sick.
166
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,152
He doesn't even want to go out.
167
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,654
But Ferris guilts him into it
168
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,656
and-and makes him steal his
169
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,991
father's luxury automobile.
170
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,293
>> JIMMY: Are we even watching
171
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,228
the same movie?
172
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,831
>> EDGAR: I think so.
173
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,935
So, Gretchen left.
174
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:28,936
You seeing her again tonight?
175
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:29,937
>> JIMMY: No.
176
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:30,938
>> EDGAR: Tomorrow?
177
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:31,939
>> JIMMY: No.
178
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:32,940
>> EDGAR: Oh, well.
179
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:33,941
She lasted longer than most of
180
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:34,942
'em.
181
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,009
>> JIMMY: No, she's not done.
182
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,145
She's... she's on her period.
183
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,146
>> EDGAR: Oh, good call sending
184
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,147
her away.
185
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,248
I read an article about how the
186
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,583
drought is pushing bears farther
187
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,618
into town.
188
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,320
It's nice that Gretchen's so
189
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,456
cool about how you are.
190
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,524
>> JIMMY: I'm sorry? How I am?
191
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:51,525
>> EDGAR: Yeah.
192
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:52,526
Most girls, they want more from
193
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,627
a guy, but it's nice that this
194
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,029
is all Gretchen wants.
195
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,097
>> JIMMY: I don't... I don't
196
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,131
know what Gretchen wants.
197
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,132
>> EDGAR: Have you asked her?
198
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,133
>> JIMMY: I'm trying to watch a
199
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,201
movie and have a...
200
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,470
What-what do you mean what she
201
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,937
wants?
202
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,839
This is... this is my brand-new
203
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,676
"relationship" that I'm
204
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,612
experiencing through me, okay?
205
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,613
So it's not for me to worry
206
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,181
about her.
207
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,849
>> EDGAR: Or, you know...
208
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,185
you could.
209
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,319
>> JIMMY: You are such a
210
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,722
Cameron!
211
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,226
>> GRETCHEN: Mm, no.
212
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,227
I'll try chocolate coconut
213
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,462
truffle next.
214
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,630
>> LINDSAY: Spiced chai.
215
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,366
Three times in one afternoon?
216
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,034
Ew, do you think he boned my
217
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,302
sister that much?
218
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,303
>> GRETCHEN: Can you imagine how
219
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,638
pinchy her face must get?
220
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,340
(high-pitched moaning)
221
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,341
>> LINDSAY: Ew!
222
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,342
That's my sister.
223
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,343
I'm gonna vomit.
224
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,344
>> GRETCHEN: Raspberry
225
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,345
pomegranate tart.
226
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,346
>> LINDSAY: Salted caramel
227
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,347
pecan.
228
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,348
Three times!
229
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:49,583
Why don't we ever bone three
230
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,818
times in one day?
231
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,819
Where's he taken you?
232
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:52,820
>> GRETCHEN: Black forest cake.
233
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,821
>> LINDSAY: Peanut butter rum.
234
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,822
>> GRETCHEN: We don't go
235
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:55,823
anywhere.
236
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,824
I told you, we're just having
237
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,825
fun.
238
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,826
>> LINDSAY: Be careful, Gretch.
239
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,494
Jimmy is a soul vampire.
240
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:01,862
And, face it, you don't always
241
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,230
make the best choices.
242
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,264
>> GRETCHEN: You're one to talk.
243
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,666
>> LINDSAY: Ha. Mean.
244
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,934
>> GRETCHEN: Kidding, Paul.
245
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,268
>> WALLACE: So, what flavors
246
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,269
have we settled on?
247
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,270
>> GRETCHEN: Nothing for me.
248
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,271
I'm too full.
249
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,272
>> LINDSAY: Me, too.
250
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,273
>> GRETCHEN: I got to go to
251
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,274
work.
252
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,275
See you soon.
253
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:16,444
Stop worrying about me.
254
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,445
>> LINDSAY: Never.
255
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,546
As long as Jimmy's in this
256
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,748
world.
257
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,716
>> PAUL: Bye.
258
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,619
You know, you're kind of mean to
259
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,254
me when Gretchen's around.
260
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,255
>> LINDSAY: How can you say
261
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,256
that?
262
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,091
Gretchen is lonely.
263
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,693
We're so happy.
264
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,063
I don't want to rub it in.
265
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,698
>> PAUL: I love you.
266
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,067
>> LINDSAY: I'm so lucky.
267
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,943
*
268
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,819
>> JIMMY: Good work.
269
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,654
Now, um, go away.
270
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:01,922
Picture books are over there,
271
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,156
all right?
272
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,129
(sputters)
273
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,600
You can't read.
274
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,602
(chuckles)
275
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,023
>> MANAGER: Nice try, dickhole.
276
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,190
How dare you try and take
277
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,526
advantage of my new dumb-ass
278
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,259
cashier.
279
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,027
No offense, Philippe.
280
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:40,994
>> JIMMY: You know, it is
281
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,130
disgraceful that my bookstore
282
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,498
won't support new writers.
283
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,099
Especially a local one of some
284
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:46,800
acclaim.
285
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,301
>> MANAGER: Really? Where?
286
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,037
Haven't seen you in a while.
287
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,672
One explanation: you got some
288
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,340
new slizz you've bamboozled into
289
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,675
letting you throw your pasty
290
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,442
junk into.
291
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,777
>> JIMMY: No.
292
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,678
She's not a slizz.
293
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,612
>> MANAGER: Oh, what's her
294
00:07:58,646 --> 00:07:59,312
problem then?
295
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,814
Humpback? Scientologist?
296
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:01,882
Did she absorb her twin's
297
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,583
fetus?
298
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,884
>> JIMMY: Nothing. It's perfect.
299
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,219
She comes over, we have fun.
300
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,320
You must've come across that
301
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,622
kind of happiness-- in a book,
302
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,489
at some point.
303
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,290
>> MANAGER: Wow.
304
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,992
I knew you were a dipshit.
305
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,994
I was just heretofore unaware of
306
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,195
the true depths of your
307
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,163
dipshittery.
308
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,330
Look, take it from a woman...
309
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,231
>> JIMMY: Really?
310
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,332
Sorry, where?
311
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,234
Look, I know how people date,
312
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,069
okay?
313
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,303
But we both agreed we don't want
314
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,204
anything, 'cause we're
315
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:24,838
different.
316
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:25,873
>> MANAGER: Oh, okay.
317
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,074
Well, keep going with that.
318
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,676
See how long she sticks around.
319
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,243
Hey, Philippe, from now on, you
320
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,745
see this guy, you throw him out.
321
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,080
And put his books back on the
322
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,014
loser shelves.
323
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,082
>> JIMMY: All right, bye.
324
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,516
Oh, and good luck finding
325
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,351
another job in six months when
326
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,554
this place is a Yoshinoya Beef
327
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,856
Bowl.
328
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,857
>> MANAGER: I'm sorry if all
329
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:44,858
that sexual tension made you
330
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,860
uncomfortable.
331
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,368
>> KILLIAN: Jimmy?
332
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,670
Jimmy?
333
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:57,504
>> GRETCHEN: All right, the
334
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,438
official line is, "My account
335
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,139
was hacked.
336
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,407
I have no idea whose vagina that
337
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,108
is."
338
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,110
>> PEPPER: But it was my vagina.
339
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,544
You can clearly see my
340
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,512
micro-tattoo of the Nickelodeon
341
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,213
logo.
342
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,114
>> GRETCHEN: It doesn't matter,
343
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:07,781
Pepper.
344
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,049
A normal beaver shot is just a
345
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,350
bad PR problem, but when a
346
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,219
16-year-old tweets it, that's--
347
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,253
repeat after me--
348
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,354
child pornography.
349
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,555
>> PEPPER: You're so
350
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,957
controlling.
351
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,592
You're like my dad and my
352
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,560
step-mom and my manager, who's
353
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,462
also my real mom, and my TV dad
354
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:23,363
Mario Lopez...
355
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,297
>> GRETCHEN: Sorry, babe.
356
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,233
That's the law.
357
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,367
>> PEPPER: What about my tits?
358
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,301
>> GRETCHEN: Don't worry.
359
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,737
We're going to roll out those
360
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,305
tits in a controlled, legal
361
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,941
environment-- like a very
362
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,142
tasteful photo shoot with Terry
363
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:35,976
Richardson.
364
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:36,810
>> PEPPER: Really?
365
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,311
>> GRETCHEN: No!
366
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,814
Maybe.
367
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,215
Hey, Edgar.
368
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:42,883
What's up?
369
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,317
>> EDGAR: Nothing. Oh, sorry.
370
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,653
Um, I was just cleaning the
371
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,655
house and I wanted to return
372
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,489
these hair thingies.
373
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,658
>> GRETCHEN: Thanks, but I have,
374
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:51,759
like, a ton of these.
375
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,827
And some of them are not mine.
376
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,395
>> EDGAR: Oops. Sorry.
377
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,264
Oh, yeah, uh, while I'm here,
378
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,666
Jimmy wondered if you wanted to
379
00:09:58,699 --> 00:09:59,967
grab a bite to eat tonight.
380
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,734
>> GRETCHEN: Tonight?
381
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,335
Really?
382
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,805
Okay, I'll come over after work.
383
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,839
>> EDGAR: He'll meet you at the
384
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:06,473
restaurant.
385
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,607
I'll text you the address.
386
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:08,676
>> GRETCHEN: Wait, why didn't he
387
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:09,476
just ask me himself?
388
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:10,410
>> EDGAR: Oh, he's slammed
389
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,078
at work.
390
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:11,979
>> GRETCHEN: What work?
391
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,613
>> EDGAR: Okay. I should go.
392
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,315
I have to try to find Killian.
393
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,584
Oh, uh, and Gretchen...
394
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,286
if you go hiking in the next few
395
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,353
days, you're gonna want to
396
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,355
attach, like, some bells around
397
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:25,392
your neck or-or something.
398
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,205
>> JIMMY: Excuse me.
399
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,143
Uh, I didn't know what
400
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,778
you liked, so I just got you one
401
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,313
of their "mixology" things.
402
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,280
>> GRETCHEN: What's the other
403
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:47,881
one?
404
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,116
>> JIMMY: Whiskey soda.
405
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,084
Yeah.
406
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,059
It's called a "reservation,"
407
00:10:59,092 --> 00:10:59,727
right?
408
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,461
Not a "suggestion of eagerness
409
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,196
to dine at a specific hour."
410
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,165
>> GRETCHEN (laughs): Wouldn't
411
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,399
fit on the Web site.
412
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,401
(Jimmy laughs)
413
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,372
>> JIMMY: They could at least
414
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,841
give us chairs, so we don't have
415
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,675
to crouch under this pipe.
416
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,511
>> GRETCHEN: Ah, yeah.
417
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,747
>> JIMMY: Oh, look, people are
418
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,881
taking photos of their dinner.
419
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:21,882
>> GRETCHEN: Are they afraid
420
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:22,883
people won't believe they went
421
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:23,516
to a restaurant?
422
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,384
>> MAN: Hurry up, they're
423
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,018
waiting for us.
424
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:25,819
It's right over here.
425
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:26,820
>> GRETCHEN: Excuse you!
426
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,155
>> JIMMY: That is quite rude!
427
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,322
>> MAN: Okay, whatever, man.
428
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,591
Come on.
429
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,160
(both chuckle)
430
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,061
>> GRETCHEN: Should we just
431
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,162
go or...?
432
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,163
>> JIMMY: Oh. Well, I mean...
433
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,365
>> HOSTESS: Follow me.
434
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,399
>> JIMMY: Uh, great.
435
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,401
Um, after you, uh...
436
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,378
>> HOSTESS: Here we are.
437
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,245
>> JIMMY: Sorry, what the hell
438
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,046
is this?
439
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,047
>> HOSTESS: This is our communal
440
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:54,714
table.
441
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:55,949
>> JIMMY: "Communal table."
442
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,717
If we wanted to dine with total
443
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,052
strangers, we would have taken
444
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,620
an ad out on Craigslist.
445
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,055
Or invited our parents over for
446
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,024
dinner.
447
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,025
>> HOSTESS: You're not dining
448
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:05,793
with them.
449
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:06,960
You're just dining at the same
450
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:07,861
table as them.
451
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:08,862
>> JIMMY: You're really cutting
452
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,430
with a semantic Ginsu knife
453
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,932
there, aren't you?
454
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:12,900
>> GRETCHEN: Oh, man.
455
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,902
I'm so hungry.
456
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,444
>> JIMMY: $32 for pellizzoni?
457
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,278
What is pellizzoni?
458
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,279
>> GRETCHEN: It's a type of
459
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:26,947
pasta.
460
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:27,915
>> JIMMY: What is it made of?
461
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:31,051
Bald eagle foreskin?
462
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,419
Couldn't think of anything soft
463
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,420
and expensive.
464
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,621
>> OLD MAN: Bald eagles don't
465
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,256
have penises, they have a
466
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,757
cloaca.
467
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:38,725
>> JIMMY: Thank you.
468
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,592
>> WAITER: Good evening.
469
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:40,727
Is this your first time at
470
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,328
Insouciance?
471
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:41,995
>> GRETCHEN: Yes.
472
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:42,896
>> WAITER: Let me explain how
473
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:43,596
our menu works.
474
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,631
>> JIMMY: Why? Is it electronic?
475
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,968
(old man laughs)
476
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,136
You said you wanted to
477
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,503
explain how the menu worked,
478
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,905
which led me to the comic
479
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,140
premise of taking your sentence
480
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,075
at face value.
481
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,110
Never mind. Go on.
482
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,011
>> WAITER: Okay.
483
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,146
Now, most of our dishes are
484
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,147
meant to be shared, so we
485
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,148
recommend three dishes
486
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,415
from the top half and, depending
487
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,750
on your appetite, two to three
488
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,517
from the bottom.
489
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,953
Can I start you off with bottled
490
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,154
water or L.A.'s finest?
491
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:07,787
>> JIMMY: Tap.
492
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:08,488
>> GRETCHEN: Bottled.
493
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,122
>> JIMMY: Bottled.
494
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:09,990
>> GRETCHEN: Tap's fine.
495
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,025
>> JIMMY: Just bring both.
496
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,326
>> OLD MAN: You have to try the
497
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,027
uni foam.
498
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,662
>> JIMMY: I absolutely will not.
499
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:16,629
Are people allowed to actually
500
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:17,430
talk to other people?
501
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,298
>> GRETCHEN: Seriously, we
502
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:18,999
can go.
503
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,000
>> JIMMY: No, we're doing this.
504
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,434
>> GRETCHEN: Okay.
505
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,036
Don't worry, I promise I won't
506
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:23,937
order the pellizzoni.
507
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:24,804
>> JIMMY: Oh, order whatever
508
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:25,672
you like.
509
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,840
Though you should probably have
510
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:27,841
some iron, right?
511
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:28,608
>> GRETCHEN: I knew it.
512
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,442
Man!
513
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,143
>> JIMMY: What?
514
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,044
>> GRETCHEN: I knew I shouldn't
515
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:31,778
have told you about...
516
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,712
>> MAN: Hey, how's it going?
517
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,681
>> WOMAN: Excuse us.
518
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,816
>> JIMMY: Hello.
519
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,185
>> GRETCHEN: Shouldn't have told
520
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,687
you about the...
521
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,956
Detroit Red Wings.
522
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,692
How they're in town for a
523
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,160
five-game series.
524
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,395
>> JIMMY: I don't know anything
525
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,029
about sports.
526
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,030
You mean... do you mean your
527
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,531
period?
528
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,066
Wait, did I do something wrong?
529
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:53,967
>> GRETCHEN: Yes!
530
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,502
You were so weird about it.
531
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,970
"See you in five days"?
532
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,071
>> JIMMY: How is that weird?
533
00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,739
When your...
534
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,542
the series is over and the Red
535
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,743
Wings leave town to go and
536
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,345
play more...
537
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,513
>> GRETCHEN: Hockey.
538
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,514
>> JIMMY: Hockey, elsewhere.
539
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,515
The ice will be cleared to play
540
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,716
on.
541
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,918
>> GRETCHEN: That's not the
542
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,152
point. That's a dick move.
543
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,153
>> JIMMY: That's exactly the
544
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,354
point.
545
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,355
Look, if my favorite pinball
546
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,523
game...
547
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:17,524
>> GRETCHEN: Creature from the
548
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,691
Black Lagoon in 3-D.
549
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,692
>> JIMMY: Yes. If Creature from
550
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,693
the Black Lagoon in 3-D is out
551
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:21,861
of order, I'm going to wait to
552
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,063
come back to the arcade when
553
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,264
it's working again.
554
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,498
>> GRETCHEN: There are other
555
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,699
games!
556
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,502
>> JIMMY: Do you mean your butt?
557
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,372
>> GRETCHEN: Shit!
558
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,407
>> JIMMY: Oh, goddamn it.
559
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,575
Should we...?
560
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,876
>> VERNON: Hey, hey!
561
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,078
Jimmy.
562
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,279
>> JIMMY: Hey!
563
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,513
What the hell are you...?
564
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,015
I'm surprised you're not on your
565
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,216
honeymoon.
566
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,417
>> BECCA: We go in a month.
567
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,585
It's the busy time for Vernon.
568
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,786
>> VERNON: Old bags always want
569
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,021
to get their hips replaced at
570
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,222
the same time.
571
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,423
It's like, if one of them can
572
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,591
walk normal, they all need to
573
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,792
walk normal.
574
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,027
>> BECCA: You're dining alone?
575
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,295
>> JIMMY: No, I am with someone,
576
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,863
but she's not feeling well.
577
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,065
>> BECCA: Oh.
578
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,232
>> VERNON: Sucks, man.
579
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,700
Ditched at the commune tabes.
580
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,402
>> BECCA: Well, enjoy your
581
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,570
solitary dinner.
582
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:04,771
Honey?
583
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:05,973
>> VERNON: I'll be right there.
584
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,407
Hey, wanted to say sorry about
585
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,575
the ruckus at the wedding.
586
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,776
Tensions were high.
587
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:10,978
Mostly on account of Becca's mom
588
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,212
being such a cooze.
589
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,413
>> JIMMY: Oh, you were throwing
590
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,581
your life away.
591
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,782
You were stressed. I understand.
592
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:16,984
>> VERNON: Word. Well, I should
593
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,218
get back to Bec before the
594
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,419
amuse-bouche drops.
595
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,587
She's been known to take down
596
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,788
hers and my bouche if I'm not
597
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:22,990
quick enough.
598
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:26,593
All right.
599
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,804
>> EDGAR: There you are.
600
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,006
I've been looking for you
601
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,074
everywhere I could think of.
602
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,842
Turns out, parents don't really
603
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,444
appreciate a grown man driving
604
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,945
slowly past playgrounds over and
605
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,147
over.
606
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,481
Don't you have a phone?
607
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:49,649
>> KILLIAN: My parents are
608
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,518
afraid I'll turn into a YouTube
609
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,654
celebrity if I have one.
610
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,425
(Edgar sighs)
611
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,793
>> EDGAR: You okay?
612
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:01,995
>> KILLIAN: Yeah.
613
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,196
>> EDGAR: He didn't mean to
614
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,365
forget you at the bookstore.
615
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,700
It's just, sometimes people just
616
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:08,968
have weird ways of being
617
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,170
friends.
618
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,371
>> KILLIAN: Yeah.
619
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,605
>> EDGAR: In Iraq, we used to
620
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,841
have this translator, Zaid.
621
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,343
Oh, he was so funny.
622
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,677
We used to teach him Eminem
623
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:18,845
songs and make him do these
624
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,047
lip-dubs, and then, we'd put
625
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,449
them up on the Internet.
626
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,616
I miss that guy.
627
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,817
>> KILLIAN: What happened to
628
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,019
him?
629
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,220
>> EDGAR: The videos got so
630
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:28,455
popular that the insurgents
631
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,023
discovered he was working with
632
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,224
the Americans, so they buried
633
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,459
him alive in the desert, and
634
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,626
they ran over his head with a
635
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,463
tank.
636
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,966
My point is, not all friends can
637
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,635
be as awesome as Zaid.
638
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,673
We just... have to appreciate
639
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,075
the people who love us while
640
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,843
they're still around.
641
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,479
Hey, you want to go get some
642
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,646
doner kebab?
643
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,914
There's this awesome place on
644
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,149
Hillhurst.
645
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,417
>> KILLIAN: Does it have gluten?
646
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,319
>> EDGAR: We can ask.
647
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,255
Come on.
648
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,624
>> KILLIAN: Bye, Debra.
649
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,330
>> GRETCHEN: Psst.
650
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,531
They didn't see me, did they?
651
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,699
>> JIMMY: No.
652
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,900
>> GRETCHEN: Ooh!
653
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,102
That was close.
654
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,336
>> JIMMY: I thought you were mad
655
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,537
at me.
656
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,705
>> GRETCHEN: Not compared to
657
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:19,906
what a disaster it would have
658
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:20,907
been if Becca and Vernon had
659
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,109
seen us together.
660
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,343
>> JIMMY: Oh, right.
661
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,544
Well, then I'm mad at you.
662
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,545
You just ditched me at the
663
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,713
commune tabes.
664
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,914
Vernon.
665
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,116
>> GRETCHEN: Are you seriously
666
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,350
ready to explain this-- whatever
667
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,551
this is-- to anyone?
668
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,719
Because I'm not.
669
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:33,920
And I wouldn't have almost had
670
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,122
to if you hadn't taken me on
671
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,356
this ludicrous date.
672
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,524
>> JIMMY: Well, I thought I
673
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,691
should.
674
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,692
You were so mad after the period
675
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:40,893
thing.
676
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,095
>> GRETCHEN: Well, yes, I didn't
677
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,296
want you to automatically
678
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,531
dismiss me as a goddamn viable
679
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,698
human being to share air with
680
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,899
the second I wasn't available
681
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,801
for sex, but I'm not, like, mad,
682
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,036
mad.
683
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,238
I knew what I was getting with
684
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,705
you, Jimmy.
685
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:53,906
>> JIMMY: Okay, well... good.
686
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,108
I'm glad you hate this place,
687
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,309
too.
688
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,544
It's the worst, right?
689
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,711
>> GRETCHEN: No, dude.
690
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,912
I've actually been here before.
691
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,114
It's awesome.
692
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,315
I love this fancy shit, just,
693
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,550
you know, not with you.
694
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,717
>> JIMMY: Ouch.
695
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,620
>> GRETCHEN: I just meant not
696
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,923
yet, or whatever.
697
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,125
I told you up front.
698
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,127
I'm... scared of this shit.
699
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,129
>> JIMMY: Right.
700
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:19,699
And I don't believe in it, so...
701
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,238
I'm still hungry. You?
702
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,508
>> GRETCHEN: I could eat.
703
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,244
(indistinct chatter on screen)
704
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,679
Ah.
705
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,582
This was a great idea.
706
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,417
God, I love this movie.
707
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,918
>> JIMMY: It's the best.
708
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,320
>> GRETCHEN: Ugh, I hate Cameron
709
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,521
so much.
710
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,755
>> JIMMY: He's repulsive.
711
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:43,923
>> GRETCHEN: No kidding.
712
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,627
It's, like, kill yourself.
713
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,329
What?
714
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,763
>> JIMMY: Nothing. Nothing.
715
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,964
>> GRETCHEN: Did we get
716
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,166
chopsticks?
717
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,367
>> JIMMY: Yeah, I certainly
718
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,602
asked for them.
719
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,771
(paper bag rustling)
720
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,939
Aha, there you go.
721
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,140
>> WOMAN: Shh!
722
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,342
>> GRETCHEN: You be quiet!
723
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,543
Turn around and watch the movie!
724
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,777
>> JIMMY: How dare you?!
725
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:05,778
Just mind your own business, you
726
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,979
old cow.
727
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:08,181
>> GRETCHEN: Shh!
728
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,382
God. Some people.
729
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,617
>> JIMMY: Really.
730
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,784
>> GRETCHEN: Right?
731
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,985
>> JIMMY: Want a beer?
732
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,388
>> GRETCHEN: Yup.
733
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:22,395
>> JIMMY: Mm. This is good.
734
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:27,033
(indistinct chatter)
735
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,505
>> GRETCHEN: Excuse me.
736
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,341
I have a large book club of
737
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,309
ladies, and we're going to be
738
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,677
reading a book, and drinking
739
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,412
wine-- what-- and I just want to
740
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:40,647
make sure you have enough
741
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,848
copies?
742
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,049
>> MANAGER: Fantastic.
743
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,217
What is the title?
744
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,418
>> GRETCHEN: Congratulations,
745
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,687
You're Dying?
746
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,090
By some guy with a weird name.
747
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,325
Why aren't you typing?
748
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,526
>> MANAGER: So, you're the
749
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:54,727
slizz.
750
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,364
>> GRETCHEN: What?
751
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,766
>> JIMMY: Yeah?
752
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,000
>> GRETCHEN: What a bitch.
753
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,168
>> JIMMY: I knew it.
754
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,370
She didn't buy it?
755
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,571
>> GRETCHEN: No, so I stole
756
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,772
this.
757
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,507
>> JIMMY (laughing): Oh, sweet.
758
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,542
I love this guy.
759
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,344
I'm telling you, people that
760
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,546
naturally suspicious of humanity
761
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,747
should not be allowed to do
762
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:15,948
customer service.
763
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,116
>> GRETCHEN: No kidding.
764
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,351
You think Killian wants a cat?
765
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:22,789
>> JIMMY: Who?
766
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,124
(manager whistles airily)
767
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,125
>> MANAGER: Kerouac?
768
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,127
Here, kitty, kitty.
769
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,128
Captioning sponsored by
770
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,131
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
771
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,132
Captioned by
772
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,133
Media Access Group at WGBH
773
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,136
access.wgbh.org
47956
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
