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1
00:00:08,034 --> 00:00:09,344
Huh.
2
00:00:09,448 --> 00:00:12,827
Says here that sour cream is
on sale over at Shop Mart.
3
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:14,344
[Laszlo]
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
4
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,724
[Guide]
Knock, knock.
5
00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:18,655
Guillermo, there's someone
at the door.
6
00:00:18,758 --> 00:00:20,586
[laughs]
No, that was me
7
00:00:20,689 --> 00:00:22,034
just saying, "Knock, knock."
8
00:00:22,137 --> 00:00:25,034
Guillermo, never mind.
It was nobody.
9
00:00:25,137 --> 00:00:28,862
Mm. Oh, I just came by
to remind everyone
10
00:00:28,965 --> 00:00:31,689
that tonight is
my big art gallery opening
11
00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:34,310
-of all the paintings
I've been working on.
-[Laszlo] Paintings?
12
00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:38,103
The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
13
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,275
Who is the artist?
14
00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,793
I am.
15
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:44,206
-Tell me more about the
sour cream sale, Colin Robinson.
-[Guide] Wait.
16
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:48,000
You're all coming, right?
'Cause you did RSVP yes.
17
00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:50,793
Eh... sort of hard to
shuffle things around
18
00:00:50,896 --> 00:00:54,448
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
19
00:00:54,551 --> 00:00:57,862
This is a really
good book, so...
20
00:00:58,965 --> 00:01:01,172
[sighs]
Okey doke.
21
00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:02,448
Oh!
22
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:04,517
Uh, you received
23
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:06,551
a message in the post
24
00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:09,275
from a Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:10,655
Perdita Morrigan?
26
00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:13,482
-Yeah.
-Oh, thePerdita Morrigan?
27
00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:14,862
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
28
00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:16,551
-Could you read the note?
-[clears throat]
29
00:01:16,655 --> 00:01:18,310
-[Nadja] Hurry it up.
Let's hear it.
-All right.
30
00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:21,862
"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
31
00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:26,448
for a weekend at her ancestral
state Morrigan Manor."
32
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:28,103
Morrigan Manor, my love!
33
00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:29,000
[whoops]
34
00:01:29,103 --> 00:01:30,241
[Nadja]
Perdita Morrigan
35
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:31,862
is the grand dame of
36
00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:35,103
vampiric high society
in the New World.
37
00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:36,586
Yeah. She's the matriarch
of one of
38
00:01:36,689 --> 00:01:37,931
America's first
vampiric families.
39
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:39,379
She came over on theMayflower.
40
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,413
She was there
at the Plymouth Colonies
41
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,965
during the first winter,
when 45 men died.
42
00:01:44,068 --> 00:01:45,896
[Nadja]
And 23 of those were murders
43
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,517
committed by Perdita herself.
44
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,034
She just did it...
45
00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:52,241
very quietly, and then blamed it
on the cold weather.
46
00:01:52,344 --> 00:01:53,517
[laughs]
47
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:56,448
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
48
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,344
that is so exclusive,
49
00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:00,586
no one is invited.
50
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:01,793
[Guide]
I mean, I get it.
51
00:02:01,896 --> 00:02:03,793
This Perdita is some big shot,
52
00:02:03,896 --> 00:02:06,068
but my vampires know how hard
53
00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:07,793
I've been working
on these paintings.
54
00:02:07,896 --> 00:02:09,275
I think they will make
the right decision.
55
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:14,310
Guillermo, bring the car around.
We are out of here.
56
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:18,068
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
57
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,482
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
58
00:02:20,586 --> 00:02:23,068
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
59
00:02:23,172 --> 00:02:26,896
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
60
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
61
00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:33,206
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
62
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,000
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
63
00:02:36,103 --> 00:02:38,275
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
64
00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,862
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
65
00:02:45,551 --> 00:02:47,793
♪
66
00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:53,034
[gate creaking]
67
00:02:55,103 --> 00:02:56,344
[thunder rumbling]
68
00:02:56,448 --> 00:02:58,724
[Guillermo]
All right, here we are.
69
00:02:58,827 --> 00:03:00,793
-Wakey-wakey.
-[Colin groans]
70
00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:02,482
[Guillermo]
Wow, look at this place.
71
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:03,620
Fan-cy.
72
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:05,517
I need to realign my chakras.
73
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,689
[groaning, farting]
74
00:03:07,793 --> 00:03:08,896
Oops. Yeah.
75
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,310
That's gonna happen.
76
00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,896
-[bats screeching]
-[Colin] Whew.
77
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,965
It means you're doing it right.
[laughs]
78
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:16,896
What's with this silly shit?
79
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,344
-Is that stuck on?
-Oh.
80
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,896
No, I-I thought I'd grow it out
for the weekend.
81
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,517
Mm. Really?
82
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,137
-You can grow
a mustache that fast?
-Oh, yeah.
83
00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:26,344
No, I have to shave, like,
three times a day.
84
00:03:26,448 --> 00:03:27,724
Not just my face either.
85
00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:30,758
-Okay.
-Undercarriage, chest, balls...
86
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,482
Ooh! We made it.
87
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:35,241
-[chuckles]
-Yes, sorry you had to fly
the whole way.
88
00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:36,896
-[coughs]
-It's just there wasn't really
89
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,655
-any room in the car.
-Yeah.
90
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,103
I think it was almost 200 miles.
91
00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:41,344
-[Nandor] About that.
-[Guillermo] Over 200.
92
00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:43,068
[Guide]
I have a treat for you.
93
00:03:43,172 --> 00:03:44,620
-I brought the paintings.
-Oh.
94
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,206
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
95
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,724
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
96
00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:53,000
Oh. Guys?
97
00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:56,206
Oh, I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
98
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:58,758
-[door creaks]
-[Nadja] Ooh.
99
00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:00,758
-[thunder rumbling]
-[Guide] Hello?
100
00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:02,793
Perdita? Hello?
101
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,482
[Nandor]
A little dingy.
102
00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:08,137
Are you sure the invitation
was for thisweekend?
103
00:04:08,241 --> 00:04:11,551
-Yes! Oh, she left us a note.
-[Nandor] A note?
104
00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:12,896
It says, "Dear Guests..."
105
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:13,931
-[gasps]
-That's us.
106
00:04:14,034 --> 00:04:15,724
"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
107
00:04:15,827 --> 00:04:19,827
"So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
108
00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,931
"to the drawing room,
where I have left
109
00:04:22,034 --> 00:04:24,413
a more personal message
for you."
110
00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:26,965
-[button clicks]
-[Perdita] Well, hello,
111
00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:29,448
my darling guests,
and also greetings.
112
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:32,586
I beg you,
please excuse my absence,
113
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,620
-but something has come up...
-What?
114
00:04:34,724 --> 00:04:37,896
[Perdita] ...and I won't be
joining you this weekend.
115
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,068
-Shit.
-But please, do enjoy
116
00:04:40,172 --> 00:04:41,896
all the amenities
117
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,689
my home has to offer--
118
00:04:43,793 --> 00:04:45,310
the fencing gymnasium,
119
00:04:45,413 --> 00:04:47,137
the hunting grounds,
the historic bell tower...
120
00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:49,551
Is it me or is this chick
hella boring?
121
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:52,103
[Perdita] ...and of course,
the board games room.
122
00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:54,413
-[Colin groans]
-But be warned--
123
00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:57,379
Morrigan Manor can be
a treacherous place.
124
00:04:57,482 --> 00:05:00,241
-[clock chiming]
-You must all watch out
for one another,
125
00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:01,586
and take care of each other.
126
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,241
-Yeah.
-[Perdita] You must operate
127
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,793
as the family that you are,
128
00:05:05,896 --> 00:05:08,344
-not as six individuals...
-Six?
129
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:09,965
[Perdita] ...who only
look out for themselves.
130
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,724
-Ah.
-[Perdita] So, good luck
131
00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:13,931
and ciao-ciao for now.
132
00:05:14,034 --> 00:05:15,517
[Nadja]
What a big fat bummer.
133
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:19,241
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
134
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:21,068
Is anyone concerned about
that last part?
135
00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,517
About Morrigan Manor being
treacherous?
136
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,275
Not in the slightest.
However...
137
00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:28,103
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
138
00:05:28,206 --> 00:05:29,551
-and worry about it later.
-[yawns]
139
00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:31,379
-Good?
-Now you're talking.
-[yawning]
140
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:34,620
-Except for the luggage.
-[Nadja] Good night.
141
00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:37,758
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
142
00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:39,620
if you don't mind. ASAP.
143
00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:42,379
-Thank you.
-I should probably get
my paintings from the car.
144
00:05:42,482 --> 00:05:44,448
That's okay.
I can grab them for you.
145
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:46,620
Thank you, Guillermo.
You're so kind.
146
00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:48,931
[thunder rumbles]
147
00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:51,000
♪ ♪
148
00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,310
[crickets chirping]
149
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:59,413
[Laszlo]
My first thought was to "parry."
150
00:05:59,517 --> 00:06:01,103
My second intention,
to "riposte."
151
00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:02,551
It's just my "point-in-line."
152
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,413
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
153
00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:09,793
-Ah, I see you're enjoying
the gymnasium, mm?
-Yes.
154
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:12,172
-What a well-appointed one
it is at that.
-Indeed.
155
00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:15,000
Care to go a few rounds,
my friend?
156
00:06:17,379 --> 00:06:18,620
En garde!
157
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,379
Whew!
158
00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:27,586
What's wrong?
159
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:29,448
Afraid of a little
friendly competition?
160
00:06:29,551 --> 00:06:31,827
No. I prefer to practice
on my dummy.
161
00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:33,551
Oh. Are you sure?
162
00:06:33,655 --> 00:06:34,655
Quite sure.
163
00:06:34,758 --> 00:06:36,551
Okay. Um...
164
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:39,482
-All right. Have fun.
-Ta-ta.
165
00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:42,724
♪
166
00:06:42,827 --> 00:06:44,551
Where did you come from?
167
00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:48,931
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
168
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,517
You need to be taught a lesson.
169
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,413
And then there were two.
170
00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:55,965
Well, I've always been partial
to a threesome.
171
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:58,137
Shall we dance?
172
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:03,793
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
173
00:07:03,896 --> 00:07:07,827
[Laszlo]
Sorry, can't talk right now.
I have my hands full.
174
00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:09,241
Here, you forgot this.
175
00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,517
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
176
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,172
No, I'm in the zone
with these chaps.
177
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:15,379
-[Guide sighs]
-[Laszlo] Now, where were we?
178
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:16,379
Ah, yes.
179
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:18,379
En garde!
180
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:20,689
Take that!
181
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:23,379
And that. Ha!
182
00:07:23,482 --> 00:07:25,827
And... that.
183
00:07:25,931 --> 00:07:27,862
Like that, do you?
184
00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:31,034
Ménage à quatre.
Why not?
185
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:35,206
Oh-ho!
186
00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:36,482
[fencer groans]
187
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:39,310
[Laszlo]
A bit of the rope-a-dope!
To here.
188
00:07:39,413 --> 00:07:41,068
Come on, chaps,
this is too easy.
189
00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:42,689
Ha ha!
190
00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:45,896
Is that all you've got?
191
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,344
You what?
192
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:49,758
Well, I suppose this gives you
193
00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:53,379
what we gentlemen call
a sporting chance.
194
00:07:53,482 --> 00:07:54,965
Watch your fingers.
195
00:07:55,068 --> 00:07:56,448
I learned that in Germany.
196
00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,689
That, in Afghanistan.
197
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:00,827
[Laszlo laughs]
198
00:08:00,931 --> 00:08:03,206
[grunting]
199
00:08:05,517 --> 00:08:07,172
-[fencer grunts]
-[Laszlo] Oh, yes.
200
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,689
Lovely.
201
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:14,344
[all grunting]
202
00:08:14,448 --> 00:08:16,379
-[fencers groaning]
-[Laszlo laughs]
203
00:08:18,655 --> 00:08:20,689
♪
204
00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:28,344
-Oh, shit.
-[fencers shout]
205
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,275
♪
206
00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:39,172
So...
207
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:43,965
the horsies can go up two
and over one?
208
00:08:44,068 --> 00:08:45,379
I don't know
how to play this shit.
209
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,724
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
210
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,517
-Mm, that's fun.
-[shrieks]
-Eesh!
211
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,448
Shades of Bacchus.
212
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:54,068
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
213
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:57,000
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
214
00:08:57,103 --> 00:09:00,310
for all of you
shortly after moonrise."
215
00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:02,103
-Ooh.
-"In the meantime,
216
00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:04,862
"please enjoy this art show
217
00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:08,241
of recent oil paintings."
-[laughs]
218
00:09:08,344 --> 00:09:10,689
-Perdita wrote that?
-[Guide] Well,
219
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:12,551
I added that last bit.
220
00:09:12,655 --> 00:09:15,172
-But I do think
you will love these.
-[Colin] No, I won't...
221
00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:18,068
because I have never worn
those glasses in my life.
222
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:21,206
[Nadja]
Has anyone seen Laszlo?
I can't find him anywhere.
223
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,482
-And it's really not like him.
-[Colin] Oh...
224
00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:25,931
-Laszlo's missing, eh?
-Yeah.
225
00:09:26,034 --> 00:09:28,068
Mm, the game is afoot.
226
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:32,448
You know, this house does have
a belfry filled with local bats.
227
00:09:32,551 --> 00:09:33,827
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
228
00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:37,068
Oh, so like my darling
perverted husband,
229
00:09:37,172 --> 00:09:39,000
to sniff out the local bordello
230
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:40,862
immediately upon arrival.
[chuckles]
231
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:42,379
Could you take me to the belfry?
232
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:45,413
Of course I can.
And also, before we go,
233
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:48,413
-would you like to take in?
-Uh, you know?
234
00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:50,379
I saw some art last year.
So I'm good.
235
00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:52,068
-This way?
-Okay.
236
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:55,000
-Your move.
-Yes.
237
00:09:55,103 --> 00:09:57,137
-Two at once.
-[exhaling softly]
238
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:58,655
Inspired.
239
00:09:58,758 --> 00:10:02,551
This is the belfry,
and where there's a belfry,
240
00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:04,241
-there's bound to be--
-Bats.
241
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,379
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
242
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:08,827
Laszlo is so lucky to have
someone like you.
243
00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:10,620
-[stairs creaking]
-Someone who cares about him
244
00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:13,068
and worries about
his well-being.
245
00:10:13,172 --> 00:10:15,068
Well, yes, Laszlo is not
just my husband,
246
00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:19,172
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
247
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:20,206
Must be nice.
248
00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:21,896
Laszlo, you little pervert,
249
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,758
-here I come.
-[thudding]
250
00:10:23,862 --> 00:10:25,034
[both scream]
251
00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:26,862
What the fuck
is behind that door?
252
00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:29,034
Let me go first,
to keep you safe.
253
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:30,551
[Nadja] Be careful.
254
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:35,103
[shouts, screams]
255
00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:36,413
Nadja, help!
256
00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:38,241
-Yes, I'm coming.
-Help!
257
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,379
Here I come.
I'm coming to he--
258
00:10:40,482 --> 00:10:42,448
-[floorboards crashing]
-[Nadja screams]
259
00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,482
[pants]
260
00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:46,620
[laughing]
261
00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:50,000
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
262
00:10:50,103 --> 00:10:51,448
It's nothing.
263
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,379
[groans]
264
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:54,206
Nadja, come back up!
265
00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:56,482
Let's look for Laszl-- oh.
266
00:10:57,965 --> 00:10:59,379
Oh, no.
267
00:10:59,482 --> 00:11:01,206
-[horn playing]
-[Nandor] Hurry, Guillermo.
268
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,482
That horn signifies
269
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:03,758
the release of the humans.
270
00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:06,275
They're getting
a head start on us.
271
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:08,103
They must be college athletes.
272
00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:11,172
-The most challenging prey.
-[shouts]
273
00:11:12,241 --> 00:11:13,344
Did you catch their scent?
274
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:14,724
-What?
-Lead me.
275
00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:15,931
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
276
00:11:16,034 --> 00:11:19,206
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
277
00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:20,793
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
278
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:22,793
Just get your muzzle in there
and get a nice big whiff.
279
00:11:22,896 --> 00:11:24,241
-No.
-You can track them with this.
280
00:11:24,344 --> 00:11:25,275
You know what?
How about this?
281
00:11:25,379 --> 00:11:26,655
You wait here,
282
00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:28,724
and I'm gonna go
and you wait for my signal.
283
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:30,275
-Okay?
-Signal?
284
00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:31,965
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
285
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:34,000
-[Nandor] What's the signal?
-[Guillermo] You'll see!
286
00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:35,551
[Nandor]
Look at him go.
287
00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:38,862
Guy like that catches a whiff
of something musky,
288
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,517
he absolutely will not stop.
289
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:42,965
-[indistinct chatter over phone]
-Oh, yeah.
290
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:45,448
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
291
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:46,931
when Nandor wasn't looking.
292
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:51,758
[whistling tune]
293
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,931
The key to hunting humans
294
00:11:55,034 --> 00:11:57,275
is to divide and then crush.
295
00:11:57,379 --> 00:12:00,965
If the humans begin
operating in a pack,
296
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,758
they can be very formidable.
297
00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:04,965
But they're usually
too dumb for that
298
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:06,862
and end up just scattering.
299
00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:08,068
[distant dog barking]
300
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:09,413
-Guillermo?
-[dog barks]
301
00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:11,172
-What have you found?
-[dog barks]
302
00:12:11,275 --> 00:12:12,793
What a good boy!
303
00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,000
I just don't have the heart to,
like, hunt humans.
304
00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:16,275
Yet.
305
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:18,068
I know I'll have to do it
eventually,
306
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,689
but... I'm just not feeling it.
307
00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:22,517
Guillermo!
308
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:23,862
Here, boy.
[smooching]
309
00:12:23,965 --> 00:12:25,206
[Guide groaning]
310
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,931
-What the fuck?
-I'm not going to lie.
311
00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:30,206
This is as bad as it looks.
312
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:31,689
[Nandor]
It looks pretty bad.
313
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,172
What are you even doing
all the way out here?
314
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,448
I was looking for you.
315
00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:37,551
Nadja and Laszlo have
disappeared.
316
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:39,896
You're worrying about nothing.
It's fine.
317
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,344
Okay, let me find a stick,
318
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:43,137
and I will pry your leg
from the trap.
319
00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:45,517
-A stick, stick, stick,
stick, stick.
-Oh, no.
320
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:48,000
-What?
-They're coming.
321
00:12:48,103 --> 00:12:49,344
[whimpers]
322
00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:51,793
And they seem to be
working as a team.
323
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,517
Nandor, if you must
leave me behind...
324
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,862
-I must. See you.
-Oh.
325
00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:56,965
Bye.
326
00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:00,310
Guillermo!
I am in need of your help!
327
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,689
Guillermo-- oh!
[shouting]
328
00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:04,517
♪ ♪
329
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,586
-Where is everyone?
-Mm.
330
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:08,724
An intriguing question.
331
00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:14,344
But perhaps one I should be
asking you, no, monsieur?
332
00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:15,793
What are you talking about?
333
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:19,724
Quite the "predict-ament"
334
00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:22,379
we find ourselves in
here tonight,
335
00:13:22,482 --> 00:13:24,172
no, Guillermo?
336
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:28,034
Not a soul in sight.
Just you and me.
337
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:30,896
"And then there were two."
338
00:13:31,689 --> 00:13:34,103
Again, what are you
talking about?
339
00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:36,379
I know it was you, Guillermo.
340
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,413
I know it was you
who lured us all here
341
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:40,862
under false pretenses.
342
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:43,379
And it's you who's making
everyone disappear
343
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:46,793
-one by one.
-What?
344
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:48,793
That's bananas.
Why would I even do that?
345
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,827
Because you know that Nandor is
eventually gonna find out
346
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:54,310
that you went and got yourself
turned into a vampire
347
00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:56,448
-by someone other than him.
-Okay.
348
00:13:56,551 --> 00:13:58,172
So, then why not just
kill Nandor?
349
00:13:58,275 --> 00:13:59,310
Why kill everyone else?
350
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:01,965
Uh...
351
00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:03,275
Um, because...
352
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:04,724
we all know your secret.
353
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:07,000
Okay, so then I kill everyone
354
00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:09,758
because I want to
keep the secret from Nandor,
355
00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:12,068
but then I still
kill Nandor, too?
356
00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,379
♪ ♪
357
00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:16,655
Huh.
358
00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:18,620
Well, maybe I missed a clue.
359
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:21,931
[stammers] Is it something
where the last person alive
360
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,275
inherits the house?
361
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,517
-No.
-Yeah, well, even
when I was saying that,
362
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:26,689
that didn't really make sense.
363
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:29,413
-[door opens]
-[groaning]
364
00:14:29,517 --> 00:14:30,758
Zut alors!
365
00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:32,793
-What happened?
-Now Nandor is gone.
366
00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:36,482
I was caught in a trap and
I told him to leave me behind.
367
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,965
And he did.
Like, really quickly.
368
00:14:39,068 --> 00:14:40,827
Like you would think
he would say,
369
00:14:40,931 --> 00:14:42,793
"No, I'm not going to
leave you behind,"
370
00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:45,482
just to be nice,
but he took off.
371
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:48,137
And then he got swooped up
into the trees
372
00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:49,310
and I couldn't find him.
373
00:14:49,413 --> 00:14:51,482
And then there were three.
374
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,827
[Guillermo]
Can I take a look?
375
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:54,965
It's all right, Guillermo.
I'm a vampire.
376
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,379
-It'll heal by tomorrow.
-You sure?
377
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,034
-Does it hurt?
-[Guide] Not much.
378
00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:00,758
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
379
00:15:00,862 --> 00:15:01,793
-Careful. Careful.
-All right.
380
00:15:01,896 --> 00:15:02,965
-[leg cracks]
-[shouts]
381
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:03,965
That's a lot of blood.
382
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:05,655
[Guide]
Thank you for caring.
383
00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:08,586
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
384
00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:11,448
And every day, we're given
so many opportunities
385
00:15:11,551 --> 00:15:12,965
to be kind to someone else.
386
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:15,000
You know, to make them
feel included,
387
00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:17,620
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
388
00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:19,586
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
389
00:15:19,689 --> 00:15:21,586
But for some people, I guess
390
00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:23,758
it's just something
they won't do,
391
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:25,241
even though they should know
392
00:15:25,344 --> 00:15:27,793
it would mean the world
to some other people.
393
00:15:27,896 --> 00:15:30,724
Do you know
what it's like to know
394
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:34,827
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
395
00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:38,000
they will never see you
as part of that group?
396
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,482
I do.
397
00:15:39,586 --> 00:15:41,137
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
398
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,724
-I always felt like I--
-I'm sorry, Guillermo.
399
00:15:42,827 --> 00:15:45,758
I wasn't asking you.
I was asking him.
400
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,551
Ah.
401
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,655
The Celtics won. Noice.
402
00:15:49,758 --> 00:15:51,689
-Colin.
-Yeah.
403
00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:54,482
What?
Were you saying something?
404
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,620
Oh, fuck it.
These can't all be clever.
405
00:15:58,103 --> 00:15:59,724
-[screams]
-[Guillermo gasps]
406
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,000
-[scream fading]
-[thunder rumbling]
407
00:16:09,827 --> 00:16:11,310
-[quietly] This way.
-[Nandor] What's that?
Footsteps.
408
00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:13,103
-[gasps]
-[Guillermo] What the hell?
409
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,344
Finally. Quickly.
410
00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:17,586
Someone or something has
imprisoned all of us.
411
00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:20,103
[Laszlo]
No, you fucking doughnut.
It's her that did it.
412
00:16:20,206 --> 00:16:22,310
-[laughs] Guilty as charged.
-[Nandor] What?
413
00:16:22,413 --> 00:16:23,724
-[hisses]
-[Guide] Tee-hee.
414
00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:25,931
[laughs] And I see
you're all taking nicely
415
00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:27,344
to your new homes, yes?
416
00:16:27,448 --> 00:16:29,103
Solid silver.
417
00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:30,551
-[sizzles]
-Ay, fucking silver.
418
00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:32,206
[Guide]
Careful.
419
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:35,206
Well, I'm immune to silver,
so good luck keeping me in.
420
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,482
-Oh, do you have the key?
-Touché.
421
00:16:37,586 --> 00:16:40,482
What is this despicable torture
that you have concocted?
422
00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:43,379
But I like to think of it
as a lesson, really.
423
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:44,586
An education.
424
00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:46,275
Did Perdita put you up to this?
425
00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:48,655
[laughing]
Perdita?
426
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:49,655
You mean...
427
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,965
[Perdita's voice]
Morrigan Manor
428
00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:52,448
-can be a treacherous place...
-[gasps]
429
00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,344
[normal voice]
...et cetera, et cetera?
430
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,448
-You mean that Perdita?
-[Nadja] Witch.
431
00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:58,413
-[Laszlo] Well done.
-It was me the whole time.
432
00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,758
Yeah, no doy.
433
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:01,965
I-I knew when you shot me
from my chair.
434
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:04,517
-[Guide] Good.
-Quite a glass onion.
435
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,068
[Nandor] [quietly]
I think Perdita Morrigan
436
00:17:06,172 --> 00:17:08,310
is pretending to be The Guide.
437
00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:09,827
No, you fucking idiot.
438
00:17:09,931 --> 00:17:12,310
She just said that it was her
that was doing it.
439
00:17:12,413 --> 00:17:14,000
-Who?
-[Nadja] Fucking hell.
440
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:15,586
-Let me just say this slowly.
-[Laszlo] I wouldn't bother.
441
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:16,551
-I'd just carry on.
-[Guide] Should I not?
442
00:17:16,655 --> 00:17:17,931
-No.
-[Colin] Yeah.
443
00:17:18,034 --> 00:17:19,344
I know that Perdita spends
the offseason
444
00:17:19,448 --> 00:17:20,965
at her chalet in Gstaad,
445
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:22,793
and that her mansion
would be empty.
446
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,103
And the perfect place
to teach you all
447
00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:26,931
a valuable lesson
448
00:17:27,034 --> 00:17:29,620
about the importance
of being nice to people
449
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:32,000
who maybe aren't part
of your core group
450
00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:33,965
but who have done a lot
of nice things for you
451
00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:36,413
and yet you still
treat them like shit.
452
00:17:36,517 --> 00:17:38,896
[Nadja]
Wait, you did all of this
453
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,206
instead of just asking us
454
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,344
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
455
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:45,172
-Yeah, I guess I did. [chuckles]
-Okay, I think
you taught them a lesson,
456
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:47,172
-so now we just get them...
[groans]
-No, Guillermo.
457
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,206
My lesson has but only begun.
458
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:50,724
You will each
459
00:17:50,827 --> 00:17:53,862
spend the rest
of your eternal lives here.
460
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:57,896
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
461
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,413
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
462
00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:04,344
Always on the outside.
463
00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:06,379
And every time
I try to get close,
464
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,482
-I get burned.
-[Nadja] I thought
465
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,310
you really liked us.
466
00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:11,344
I did.
467
00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:12,862
Deeply and desperately.
468
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:15,655
And all I wanted
was for you to like me.
469
00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:18,379
Instead, you treated me like...
470
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,172
an afterthought.
471
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:25,551
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
472
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,482
An annoyance.
473
00:18:26,586 --> 00:18:28,413
Oh, nice going, dipshit.
474
00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:29,896
A hanger-on.
475
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,344
Stand over there
and just pretend not to listen.
476
00:18:31,448 --> 00:18:32,413
I can do that.
477
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,551
An inconvenience.
478
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,413
You did R-S-veep "yes."
479
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:39,379
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
480
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:42,482
So this is basically
a clip show now?
481
00:18:42,586 --> 00:18:43,758
Are we Golden Girls?
482
00:18:43,862 --> 00:18:45,241
You know, I'm starting to think
483
00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:47,758
that this might be
all of my fault.
484
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:51,241
This is the hex
that I have been cursed with.
485
00:18:51,344 --> 00:18:52,482
[Guide]
Oh,
486
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,413
-my dear Mistress Nadja.
-[sniffles]
487
00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:56,413
-I have good news.
-Huh?
488
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,172
There is no hex.
489
00:18:58,275 --> 00:18:59,862
There never was a hex.
490
00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:01,379
-[gasping]
-I just made you think
491
00:19:01,482 --> 00:19:03,137
-there was a hex.
-What?
492
00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:04,620
-Witch!
-[Colin] Did not have that
493
00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,620
on my 2023 bingo card.
494
00:19:07,724 --> 00:19:09,655
-Why?!
-So that I could try
to help you.
495
00:19:09,758 --> 00:19:13,034
-[Laszlo chuckles]
-So that you would, I don't
know, see me as a friend,
496
00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:14,862
treat me as a friend.
497
00:19:14,965 --> 00:19:16,931
I did say thank you
for your help with the hex.
498
00:19:17,034 --> 00:19:18,655
-Not once.
-I meant to?
499
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,344
-You didn't.
-Thank you so much.
500
00:19:21,448 --> 00:19:22,448
-Too late!
-[groans]
501
00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:24,137
Even to the bitter end,
502
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:25,827
hoping against hope,
503
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,275
I gave each of you
one last chance to show me
504
00:19:29,379 --> 00:19:32,241
the smallest amount of kindness.
505
00:19:32,344 --> 00:19:33,827
And even that was beyond you!
506
00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:37,000
-[hisses]
-No one told us
it was a fucking test.
507
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:39,206
-W-Wait, why isn't Gumball
in here with us?
-[Laszlo chuckles]
508
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:42,413
Because Guillermo is
the only one out of all of you
509
00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:44,551
that has ever shown me
any kindness.
510
00:19:44,655 --> 00:19:46,379
-[coughs] Brownnoser.
-And yet you all
511
00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:48,137
treat him so shabbily
512
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:51,241
that even after all this time
of waiting to become
513
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:52,448
one of you...
514
00:19:52,551 --> 00:19:53,758
he's forced to give up
515
00:19:53,862 --> 00:19:56,103
and take matters
into his own hands.
516
00:19:57,137 --> 00:19:58,896
Sorry, what?
517
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,448
-[sighs]
-Well, I think, y-you know,
518
00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:02,034
I don't think
they mean to exclude you.
519
00:20:02,137 --> 00:20:03,448
-Guillermo,
do not stick up for them.
-I'm not--
520
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:04,689
[Nandor]
Circling back to "taking matters
521
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,172
into his own hands..."
522
00:20:06,275 --> 00:20:08,310
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
523
00:20:08,413 --> 00:20:09,724
-those paintings
are very important.
-Well, it kind of is the point.
524
00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:11,206
Is anyone else curious
about this?
525
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,310
Laszlo?
526
00:20:12,413 --> 00:20:13,689
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
527
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:15,448
I-I like this cage.
528
00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:17,413
-Colin Robinson? Any...
-No, sir.
529
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,137
[Nandor]
Okay, you know,
it kind of feels like
530
00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:21,724
there's something going on
and everyone knows
531
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,655
what it is except me.
532
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:25,068
-[Nadja sputters]
-Awkward.
533
00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,862
[thunder rumbling]
534
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,172
Master.
535
00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:30,965
Yes?
536
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,172
I, uh...
537
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,310
Spit it out.
538
00:20:34,413 --> 00:20:36,241
I made a-a big mistake.
539
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:39,758
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
540
00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:40,931
you.
541
00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:43,034
-[Laszlo mouths]
-I had someone else turn me
542
00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,482
into a vampire.
543
00:20:44,586 --> 00:20:46,310
I-I asked them to do it.
544
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,413
[Laszlo] [whispers]
Oh, fuck.
545
00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:49,758
♪ ♪
546
00:20:53,655 --> 00:20:55,206
You asked...
547
00:20:56,206 --> 00:20:57,896
...someone else?
548
00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:02,000
A vampire who was not me?
549
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,241
I felt like I had
no other choice.
550
00:21:05,344 --> 00:21:06,517
You could have asked me.
551
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,103
Are you fucking kidding me?
552
00:21:08,206 --> 00:21:10,793
I asked you repeatedly
for 13 years.
553
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,620
Yes, and I was gonna get round
to it.
554
00:21:13,724 --> 00:21:15,482
I've had a lot on my plate
at the moment!
555
00:21:15,586 --> 00:21:17,206
[thunder rumbling]
556
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,241
-Who?
-What?
557
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,482
Who was it?
558
00:21:19,586 --> 00:21:21,034
I don't think that's
really relevant.
559
00:21:21,137 --> 00:21:22,758
-It's relevant to me.
-It's just, what's done is done.
560
00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:24,206
-Guillermo!
-Derek.
561
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:26,896
Okay.
562
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,896
Well, thank you
for being honest with me.
563
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,586
-Okay.
-I appreciate it.
564
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,137
Now I'm going to be honest
with you.
565
00:21:33,241 --> 00:21:34,206
This is good.
566
00:21:34,310 --> 00:21:35,413
I...
567
00:21:35,517 --> 00:21:36,551
am going...
568
00:21:36,655 --> 00:21:38,034
to kill you,
569
00:21:38,137 --> 00:21:39,413
Guillermo.
570
00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:41,000
And then quite possibly myself.
571
00:21:41,103 --> 00:21:42,517
[whispers]
It all depends
572
00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,137
on whether I'm still completely
573
00:21:44,241 --> 00:21:46,275
and utterly humiliated
574
00:21:46,379 --> 00:21:47,551
after I'm done killing you!
575
00:21:47,655 --> 00:21:49,034
-[grunts, screams]
-[sizzling]
576
00:21:49,137 --> 00:21:51,413
[Laszlo] Whoa-whoa-whoa,
if it makes you feel any better,
577
00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:52,758
he's only a half-baked vampire.
578
00:21:52,862 --> 00:21:55,206
Yes, I know.
He has Van Helsing blood.
579
00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,931
His vampire-killer cells
580
00:21:57,034 --> 00:21:59,379
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
581
00:21:59,482 --> 00:22:03,034
-Okay. That's what's going on.
-Oh, shit.
582
00:22:03,137 --> 00:22:05,310
-Fuck.
-Another mystery solved.
583
00:22:05,413 --> 00:22:06,586
Well, you live and learn, right?
584
00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:07,931
[Colin, Nadja and Laszlo laugh]
585
00:22:08,034 --> 00:22:10,206
Master,
if you would just let me talk--
586
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:11,896
You're a dead man!
587
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,172
[growls]
588
00:22:20,758 --> 00:22:22,724
-[hisses]
-Gizmo, if I was you,
I would just, uh, piss off.
589
00:22:22,827 --> 00:22:24,517
Stay back there.
And in the meantime,
590
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,896
where are the documentarians?
Behind me?
591
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,275
There you are. I say,
592
00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:30,551
could you find the tapes
593
00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:35,103
from November the 21st, 2022?
594
00:22:36,586 --> 00:22:40,551
[Colin]
Yeah. I know she doesn't have,
like, a last name
595
00:22:40,655 --> 00:22:42,793
or a first name,
for that matter,
596
00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:46,206
but I-I just think
that The Guide is really nice.
597
00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:47,758
[Laszlo]
I'd say she's more than nice,
Colin Robinson.
598
00:22:47,862 --> 00:22:49,344
She has a tremendous wit
599
00:22:49,448 --> 00:22:51,172
and a fantastic backside.
600
00:22:51,275 --> 00:22:53,206
[Nadja]
That would usually make me
very jealous,
601
00:22:53,310 --> 00:22:55,517
if I didn't completely agree!
602
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:58,310
And, you know,
she's also a very good listener.
603
00:22:58,413 --> 00:23:00,000
And once you get used
to that voice,
604
00:23:00,103 --> 00:23:02,517
she has some
very interesting things to say.
605
00:23:02,620 --> 00:23:04,827
[Nandor]
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
606
00:23:04,931 --> 00:23:08,000
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
607
00:23:08,103 --> 00:23:09,310
the whole time.
608
00:23:09,413 --> 00:23:10,724
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
609
00:23:10,827 --> 00:23:12,137
You can turn that off.
She gets the point.
610
00:23:12,241 --> 00:23:13,827
-Oh.
-Thank you.
-[beep]
611
00:23:13,931 --> 00:23:15,517
That was so lovely.
612
00:23:15,620 --> 00:23:18,862
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
613
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,034
Because we're vampires,
614
00:23:21,137 --> 00:23:23,241
my squeaky-voiced,
615
00:23:23,344 --> 00:23:26,137
fucking berserk,
nutjob, idiot friend.
616
00:23:26,241 --> 00:23:29,862
And sometimes we're not too good
with the old niceties
617
00:23:29,965 --> 00:23:32,241
and kindness
towards those we care about.
618
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,034
But our hearts...
619
00:23:34,137 --> 00:23:35,655
are full of love.
620
00:23:35,758 --> 00:23:38,275
[Nadja]
He's not wrong.
621
00:23:41,448 --> 00:23:42,862
I am so embarrassed.
622
00:23:42,965 --> 00:23:44,310
Oh!
623
00:23:44,413 --> 00:23:46,206
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
624
00:23:46,310 --> 00:23:47,758
Now let-let me out now.
625
00:23:47,862 --> 00:23:49,275
-[chuckles] Okay.
-Come on.
-[Laszlo] Here we are.
626
00:23:49,379 --> 00:23:51,000
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
627
00:23:51,103 --> 00:23:53,862
Now let me out of this cage
so I can kill Guillermo.
628
00:23:53,965 --> 00:23:55,793
[Guide]
Guess I kind of got in my head
629
00:23:55,896 --> 00:23:57,758
-a little bit. [laughing]
-Yes.
-[Lazlo] Yes,
630
00:23:57,862 --> 00:23:59,448
I think you did.
631
00:23:59,551 --> 00:24:01,275
-[squeaking]
-Ooh!
-[Laszlo] Fuck.
632
00:24:01,379 --> 00:24:02,551
I've never been able to do that.
633
00:24:02,655 --> 00:24:03,724
[Nandor]
Now you're just rubbing it in.
634
00:24:03,827 --> 00:24:05,586
Very Derek.
635
00:24:06,551 --> 00:24:08,448
Master,
if I let you out of this cage,
636
00:24:08,551 --> 00:24:10,275
do you promise not to kill me?
637
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:12,931
I promise.
638
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:14,206
You mean it?
639
00:24:14,310 --> 00:24:15,517
No!
640
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:16,896
-[keys jangle]
-What are you doing?
641
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,413
I'm giving you a head start,
you knob lord.
642
00:24:18,517 --> 00:24:19,482
[Nandor]
Laszlo, let me out of this cage
643
00:24:19,586 --> 00:24:21,379
so I can kill Guillermo!
644
00:24:21,482 --> 00:24:22,551
Give me that key!
645
00:24:22,655 --> 00:24:23,413
[Laszlo]
If I were you, I'd run.
646
00:24:23,517 --> 00:24:25,586
Run, boy, run!
647
00:24:26,413 --> 00:24:28,793
-[squeaking]
-[Nandor] Guillermo...!
648
00:24:28,896 --> 00:24:30,931
[sizzling]
649
00:24:32,034 --> 00:24:34,448
["Damnation Alley"
by Bitch playing]
650
00:24:41,241 --> 00:24:43,551
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
651
00:24:43,655 --> 00:24:46,344
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
652
00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:48,034
-the whole time.
-[Nadja] I know.
653
00:24:48,137 --> 00:24:49,551
She also has such great style.
654
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,827
All those blacks and grays.
655
00:24:51,931 --> 00:24:53,482
Oh, I see.
656
00:24:53,586 --> 00:24:55,931
I get it. You guys are...
657
00:24:56,034 --> 00:24:58,517
trying to get me
to hook up with her
658
00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:00,482
and so we become a couple
659
00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:03,689
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
660
00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:05,517
-I get it.
-What?
-LASZLO: What?
661
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:07,793
-We would never do that.
-[blows raspberry]
-NADJA: Of course not!
662
00:25:07,896 --> 00:25:11,862
♪ Damnation, Damnation Alley♪
663
00:25:11,965 --> 00:25:15,275
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley♪
664
00:25:15,379 --> 00:25:16,758
♪ Yeah♪
665
00:25:16,862 --> 00:25:18,206
♪ Damnation♪
666
00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:20,862
♪ Damnation Alley♪
667
00:25:20,965 --> 00:25:26,034
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah♪
668
00:25:26,137 --> 00:25:27,241
♪ Damnation♪
669
00:25:27,344 --> 00:25:30,241
♪ Damnation Alley♪
670
00:25:30,344 --> 00:25:35,310
♪ You'll never get out of here
alive♪
671
00:25:35,413 --> 00:25:36,482
♪ Damnation♪
672
00:25:36,586 --> 00:25:39,172
♪ Damnation Alley♪
673
00:25:39,275 --> 00:25:44,310
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah♪
674
00:25:44,413 --> 00:25:45,620
♪ Damnation♪
675
00:25:45,724 --> 00:25:47,965
♪ Damnation Alley♪
676
00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,655
♪ You'll never get out of here♪
677
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:52,482
[echoing]
♪ Alive.♪
678
00:25:52,586 --> 00:25:55,965
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
48592
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