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1
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,284
Huh.
2
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,588
Says here that sour cream is
on sale over at Shop Mart.
3
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,089
[Laszlo]
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
4
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,457
[Guide]
Knock, knock.
5
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,427
Guillermo, there's someone
at the door.
6
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,362
[laughs]
No, that was me
7
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,797
just saying, "Knock, knock."
8
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,800
Guillermo, never mind.
It was nobody.
9
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,604
Mm. Oh, I just came by
to remind everyone
10
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,607
that tonight is
my big art gallery opening
11
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,243
-of all the paintings
I've been working on.
-[Laszlo] Paintings?
12
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,646
The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
13
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,047
Who is the artist?
14
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,481
I am.
15
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:52,152
-Tell me more about the
sour cream sale, Colin Robinson.
-[Guide] Wait.
16
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:55,756
You're all coming, right?
'Cause you did RSVP yes.
17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,525
Eh... sort of hard to
shuffle things around
18
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,129
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
19
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:05,298
This is a really
good book, so...
20
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,669
[sighs]
Okey doke.
21
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,137
Oh!
22
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,206
Uh, you received
23
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,241
a message in the post
24
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,744
from a Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,312
Perdita Morrigan?
26
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,181
-Yeah.
-Oh, the Perdita Morrigan?
27
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,549
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
28
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,418
-Could you read the note?
-[clears throat]
29
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,186
-[Nadja] Hurry it up.
Let's hear it.
-All right.
30
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,523
"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
31
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:34,128
for a weekend at her ancestral
state Morrigan Manor."
32
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,596
Morrigan Manor, my love!
33
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,697
[whoops]
34
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:37,731
[Nadja]
Perdita Morrigan
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,566
is the grand dame of
36
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,770
vampiric high society
in the New World.
37
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,238
Yeah. She's the matriarch
of one of
38
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,606
America's first
vampiric families.
39
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,241
She came over on the Mayflower.
40
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,276
She was there
at the Plymouth Colonies
41
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,645
during the first winter,
when 45 men died.
42
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,581
[Nadja]
And 23 of those were murders
43
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,215
committed by Perdita herself.
44
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,717
She just did it...
45
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,687
very quietly, and then blamed it
on the cold weather.
46
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,322
[laughs]
47
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,058
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
48
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,759
that is so exclusive,
49
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,228
no one is invited.
50
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,430
[Guide]
I mean, I get it.
51
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,432
This Perdita is some big shot,
52
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,701
but my vampires know how hard
53
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,369
I've been working
on these paintings.
54
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,071
I think they will make
the right decision.
55
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:21,675
Guillermo, bring the car around.
We are out of here.
56
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,679
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
57
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,282
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪
58
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,684
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
59
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,488
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪
60
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,356
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪
61
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,828
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪
62
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,631
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪
63
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,100
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪
64
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,201
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪
65
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,141
♪ ♪
66
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,347
[gate creaking]
67
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,084
[thunder rumbling]
68
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,287
[Guillermo]
All right, here we are.
69
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,355
-Wakey-wakey.
-[Colin groans]
70
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,057
[Guillermo]
Wow, look at this place.
71
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,191
Fan-cy.
72
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,093
I need to realign my chakras.
73
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,262
[groaning, farting]
74
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,463
Oops. Yeah.
75
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,065
That's gonna happen.
76
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,466
-[bats screeching]
-[Colin] Whew.
77
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:22,503
It means you're doing it right.
[laughs]
78
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,438
What's with this silly shit?
79
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,073
-Is that stuck on?
-Oh.
80
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,442
No, I-I thought I'd grow it out
for the weekend.
81
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,244
Mm. Really?
82
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,679
-You can grow
a mustache that fast?
-Oh, yeah.
83
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,681
No, I have to shave, like,
three times a day.
84
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,282
Not just my face either.
85
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,319
-Okay.
-Undercarriage, chest, balls...
86
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,220
Ooh! We made it.
87
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,790
-[chuckles]
-Yes, sorry you had to fly
the whole way.
88
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,458
-[coughs]
-It's just there wasn't really
89
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,226
-any room in the car.
-Yeah.
90
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,661
I think it was almost 200 miles.
91
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,096
-[Nandor] About that.
-[Guillermo] Over 200.
92
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,631
[Guide]
I have a treat for you.
93
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,366
-I brought the paintings.
-Oh.
94
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,735
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
95
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:58,205
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,474
Oh. Guys?
97
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,677
Oh, I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
98
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,247
-[door creaks]
-[Nadja] Ooh.
99
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,249
-[thunder rumbling]
-[Guide] Hello?
100
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,284
Perdita? Hello?
101
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,152
[Nandor]
A little dingy.
102
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,623
Are you sure the invitation
was for this weekend?
103
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,059
-Yes! Oh, she left us a note.
-[Nandor] A note?
104
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,394
It says, "Dear Guests..."
105
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,428
-[gasps]
-That's us.
106
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,397
"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
107
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:27,301
"So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
108
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,403
"to the drawing room,
where I have left
109
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,072
a more personal message
for you."
110
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,441
-[button clicks]
-[Perdita] Well, hello,
111
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,111
my darling guests,
and also greetings.
112
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,247
I beg you,
please excuse my absence,
113
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,283
-but something has come up...
-What?
114
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,386
[Perdita] ...and I won't be
joining you this weekend.
115
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,554
-Shit.
-But please, do enjoy
116
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,390
all the amenities
117
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,191
my home has to offer--
118
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,793
the fencing gymnasium,
119
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,628
the hunting grounds,
the historic bell tower...
120
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,231
Is it me or is this chick
hella boring?
121
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,533
[Perdita] ...and of course,
the board games room.
122
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,802
-[Colin groans]
-But be warned--
123
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,772
Morrigan Manor can be
a treacherous place.
124
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,641
-[clock chiming]
-You must all watch out
for one another,
125
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,176
and take care of each other.
126
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,644
-Yeah.
-[Perdita] You must operate
127
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,213
as the family that you are,
128
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,749
-not as six individuals...
-Six?
129
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,384
[Perdita] ...who only
look out for themselves.
130
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,153
-Ah.
-[Perdita] So, good luck
131
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,355
and ciao-ciao for now.
132
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,123
[Nadja]
What a big fat bummer.
133
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,660
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
134
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,495
Is anyone concerned about
that last part?
135
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,131
About Morrigan Manor being
treacherous?
136
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,700
Not in the slightest.
However...
137
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,502
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
138
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,137
-and worry about it later.
-[yawns]
139
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,772
-Good?
-Now you're talking.
-[yawning]
140
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:42,209
-Except for the luggage.
-[Nadja] Good night.
141
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,179
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
142
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,214
if you don't mind. ASAP.
143
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,783
-Thank you.
-I should probably get
my paintings from the car.
144
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,052
That's okay.
I can grab them for you.
145
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,054
Thank you, Guillermo.
You're so kind.
146
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,357
[thunder rumbles]
147
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,359
♪ ♪
148
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,427
[crickets chirping]
149
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,767
[Laszlo]
My first thought was to "parry."
150
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,435
My second intention,
to "riposte."
151
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,070
It's just my "point-in-line."
152
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,740
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
153
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:17,311
-Ah, I see you're enjoying
the gymnasium, mm?
-Yes.
154
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,513
-What a well-appointed one
it is at that.
-Indeed.
155
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,082
Care to go a few rounds,
my friend?
156
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,719
En garde!
157
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,560
Whew!
158
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,129
What's wrong?
159
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,797
Afraid of a little
friendly competition?
160
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,199
No. I prefer to practice
on my dummy.
161
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,734
Oh. Are you sure?
162
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,802
Quite sure.
163
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,071
Okay. Um...
164
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,573
-All right. Have fun.
-Ta-ta.
165
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,077
♪ ♪
166
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,645
Where did you come from?
167
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,283
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
168
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,619
You need to be taught a lesson.
169
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,688
And then there were two.
170
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,257
Well, I've always been partial
to a threesome.
171
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,191
Shall we dance?
172
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:11,265
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
173
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:15,102
[Laszlo]
Sorry, can't talk right now.
I have my hands full.
174
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,503
Here, you forgot this.
175
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,772
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
176
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,441
No, I'm in the zone
with these chaps.
177
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,476
-[Guide sighs]
-[Laszlo] Now, where were we?
178
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,477
Ah, yes.
179
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,412
En garde!
180
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,714
Take that!
181
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,484
And that. Ha!
182
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,120
And... that.
183
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,155
Like that, do you?
184
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,091
Ménage à quatre.
Why not?
185
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,496
Oh-ho!
186
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,530
[fencer groans]
187
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,600
[Laszlo]
A bit of the rope-a-dope!
To here.
188
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,335
Come on, chaps,
this is too easy.
189
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,703
Ha ha!
190
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,173
Is that all you've got?
191
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,608
You what?
192
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,211
Well, I suppose this gives you
193
00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,581
what we gentlemen call
a sporting chance.
194
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,182
Watch your fingers.
195
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,416
I learned that in Germany.
196
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,720
That, in Afghanistan.
197
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,055
[Laszlo laughs]
198
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,190
[grunting]
199
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,395
-[fencer grunts]
-[Laszlo] Oh, yes.
200
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,663
Lovely.
201
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,535
[all grunting]
202
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,336
-[fencers groaning]
-[Laszlo laughs]
203
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,641
♪ ♪
204
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,315
-Oh, shit.
-[fencers shout]
205
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,525
So...
206
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:49,363
the horsies can go up two
and over one?
207
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,764
I don't know
how to play this shit.
208
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,267
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
209
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,668
-Mm, that's fun.
-[shrieks]
-Eesh!
210
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,737
Shades of Bacchus.
211
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,340
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
212
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,276
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
213
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,613
for all of you
shortly after moonrise."
214
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,381
-Ooh.
-"In the meantime,
215
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,150
"please enjoy this art show
216
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,520
of recent oil paintings."
-[laughs]
217
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,789
-Perdita wrote that?
-[Guide] Well,
218
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,825
I added that last bit.
219
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,494
-But I do think
you will love these.
-[Colin] No, I won't...
220
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,530
because I have never worn
those glasses in my life.
221
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,500
[Nadja]
Has anyone seen Laszlo?
I can't find him anywhere.
222
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,736
-And it's really not like him.
-[Colin] Oh...
223
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,205
-Laszlo's missing, eh?
-Yeah.
224
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,507
Mm, the game is afoot.
225
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,745
You know, this house does have
a belfry filled with local bats.
226
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,280
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
227
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:42,349
Oh, so like my darling
perverted husband,
228
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,285
to sniff out the local bordello
229
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,153
immediately upon arrival.
[chuckles]
230
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,655
Could you take me to the belfry?
231
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,691
Of course I can.
And also, before we go,
232
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,694
-would you like to take in?
-Uh, you know?
233
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,663
I saw some art last year.
So I'm good.
234
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,364
-This way?
-Okay.
235
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,301
-Your move.
-Yes.
236
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,403
-Two at once.
-[exhaling softly]
237
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,104
Inspired.
238
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,808
This is the belfry,
and where there's a belfry,
239
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,510
-there's bound to be--
-Bats.
240
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,645
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
241
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,281
Laszlo is so lucky to have
someone like you.
242
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,083
-[stairs creaking]
-Someone who cares about him
243
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,352
and worries about
his well-being.
244
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,521
Well, yes, Laszlo is not
just my husband,
245
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:24,491
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
246
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,492
Must be nice.
247
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,227
Laszlo, you little pervert,
248
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,096
-here I come.
-[thudding]
249
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,364
[both scream]
250
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,166
What the fuck
is behind that door?
251
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,335
Let me go first,
to keep you safe.
252
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,569
[Nadja] Be careful.
253
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:40,374
[shouts, screams]
254
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,675
Nadja, help!
255
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,510
-Yes, I'm coming.
-Help!
256
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,646
Here I come.
I'm coming to he--
257
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,480
-[floorboards crashing]
-[Nadja screams]
258
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,617
[pants]
259
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,651
[laughing]
260
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:55,289
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
261
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,490
It's nothing.
262
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,625
[groans]
263
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,426
Nadja, come back up!
264
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,461
Let's look for Laszl-- oh.
265
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,632
Oh, no.
266
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,433
-[horn playing]
-[Nandor] Hurry, Guillermo.
267
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,668
That horn signifies
268
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,203
the release of the humans.
269
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,472
They're getting
a head start on us.
270
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,340
They must be college athletes.
271
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,176
-The most challenging prey.
-[shouts]
272
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,545
Did you catch their scent?
273
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,747
-What?
-Lead me.
274
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,348
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
275
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,418
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
276
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,220
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
277
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,222
Just get your muzzle in there
and get a nice big whiff.
278
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,490
-No.
-You can track them with this.
279
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,491
You know what?
How about this?
280
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,092
You wait here,
281
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,761
and I'm gonna go
and you wait for my signal.
282
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,496
-Okay?
-Signal?
283
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,364
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
284
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,233
-[Nandor] What's the signal?
-[Guillermo] You'll see!
285
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,768
[Nandor]
Look at him go.
286
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,071
Guy like that catches a whiff
of something musky,
287
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,740
he absolutely will not stop.
288
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,342
-[indistinct chatter over phone]
-Oh, yeah.
289
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,644
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
290
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,146
when Nandor wasn't looking.
291
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:56,650
[whistling tune]
292
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,087
The key to hunting humans
293
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,423
is to divide and then crush.
294
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:06,126
If the humans begin
operating in a pack,
295
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,128
they can be very formidable.
296
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130
But they're usually
too dumb for that
297
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,832
and end up just scattering.
298
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,233
[distant dog barking]
299
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,535
-Guillermo?
-[dog barks]
300
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,337
-What have you found?
-[dog barks]
301
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,105
What a good boy!
302
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,140
I just don't have the heart to,
like, hunt humans.
303
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,408
Yet.
304
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,210
I know I'll have to do it
eventually,
305
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,646
but... I'm just not feeling it.
306
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,648
Guillermo!
307
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:28,816
Here, boy.
[smooching]
308
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,351
[Guide groaning]
309
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:33,087
-What the fuck?
-I'm not going to lie.
310
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,356
This is as bad as it looks.
311
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:36,824
[Nandor]
It looks pretty bad.
312
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,360
What are you even doing
all the way out here?
313
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:40,628
I was looking for you.
314
00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:42,696
Nadja and Laszlo have
disappeared.
315
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,099
You're worrying about nothing.
It's fine.
316
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,500
Okay, let me find a stick,
317
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,469
and I will pry your leg
from the trap.
318
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,671
-A stick, stick, stick,
stick, stick.
-Oh, no.
319
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,140
-What?
-They're coming.
320
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,475
[whimpers]
321
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:57,077
And they seem to be
working as a team.
322
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,613
Nandor, if you must
leave me behind...
323
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,748
-I must. See you.
-Oh.
324
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,249
Bye.
325
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,386
Guillermo!
I am in need of your help!
326
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:07,621
Guillermo-- oh!
[shouting]
327
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,623
♪ ♪
328
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,692
-Where is everyone?
-Mm.
329
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,794
An intriguing question.
330
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:19,433
But perhaps one I should be
asking you, no, monsieur?
331
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,634
What are you talking about?
332
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,805
Quite the "predict-ament"
333
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,474
we find ourselves in
here tonight,
334
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,243
no, Guillermo?
335
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:33,113
Not a soul in sight.
Just you and me.
336
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,715
"And then there were two."
337
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,219
Again, what are you
talking about?
338
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,488
I know it was you, Guillermo.
339
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,491
I know it was you
who lured us all here
340
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,126
under false pretenses.
341
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,495
And it's you who's making
everyone disappear
342
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:52,099
-one by one.
-What?
343
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,068
That's bananas.
Why would I even do that?
344
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,804
Because you know that Nandor is
eventually gonna find out
345
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,340
that you went and got yourself
turned into a vampire
346
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,475
-by someone other than him.
-Okay.
347
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,210
So, then why not just
kill Nandor?
348
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,345
Why kill everyone else?
349
00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,780
Uh...
350
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,282
Um, because...
351
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,750
we all know your secret.
352
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,219
Okay, so then I kill everyone
353
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,788
because I want to
keep the secret from Nandor,
354
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,091
but then I still
kill Nandor, too?
355
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,192
♪ ♪
356
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:21,695
Huh.
357
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,631
Well, maybe I missed a clue.
358
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:26,767
[stammers] Is it something
where the last person alive
359
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,469
inherits the house?
360
00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:30,504
-No.
-Yeah, well, even
when I was saying that,
361
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,739
that didn't really make sense.
362
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:34,475
-[door opens]
-[groaning]
363
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:35,743
Zut alors!
364
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,778
-What happened?
-Now Nandor is gone.
365
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:41,482
I was caught in a trap and
I told him to leave me behind.
366
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:44,218
And he did.
Like, really quickly.
367
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,086
Like you would think
he would say,
368
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,821
"No, I'm not going to
leave you behind,"
369
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,491
just to be nice,
but he took off.
370
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:53,160
And then he got swooped up
into the trees
371
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,361
and I couldn't find him.
372
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,430
And then there were three.
373
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,798
[Guillermo]
Can I take a look?
374
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,134
It's all right, Guillermo.
I'm a vampire.
375
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,336
-It'll heal by tomorrow.
-You sure?
376
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,138
-Does it hurt?
-[Guide] Not much.
377
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,739
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
378
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:06,740
-Careful. Careful.
-All right.
379
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:07,741
-[leg cracks]
-[shouts]
380
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,109
That's a lot of blood.
381
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,611
[Guide]
Thank you for caring.
382
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,514
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
383
00:15:13,547 --> 00:15:16,383
And every day, we're given
so many opportunities
384
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,118
to be kind to someone else.
385
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,154
You know, to make them
feel included,
386
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,623
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
387
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,558
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
388
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,527
But for some people, I guess
389
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,762
it's just something
they won't do,
390
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,397
even though they should know
391
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,766
it would mean the world
to some other people.
392
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,636
Do you know
what it's like to know
393
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,740
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
394
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,743
they will never see you
as part of that group?
395
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,411
I do.
396
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,280
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
397
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,648
-I always felt like I--
-I'm sorry, Guillermo.
398
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:50,517
I wasn't asking you.
I was asking him.
399
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,519
Ah.
400
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,622
The Celtics won. Noice.
401
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,557
-Colin.
-Yeah.
402
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:59,360
What?
Were you saying something?
403
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,261
Oh, fuck it.
These can't all be clever.
404
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,632
-[screams]
-[Guillermo gasps]
405
00:16:04,665 --> 00:16:06,666
-[scream fading]
-[thunder rumbling]
406
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,475
-[quietly] This way.
-[Nandor
407
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,277
-[gasps]
-[Guillermo] What the hell?
408
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,479
Finally. Quickly.
409
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,748
Someone or something has
imprisoned all of us.
410
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,484
[Laszlo]
No, you fucking doughnut.
It's her that did it.
411
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,486
-[laughs] Guilty as charged.
-[Nandor] What?
412
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,087
-[hisses]
-[Guide] Tee-hee.
413
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,089
[laughs] And I see
you're all taking nicely
414
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,557
to your new homes, yes?
415
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,293
Solid silver.
416
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,761
-[sizzles]
-Ay, fucking silver.
417
00:16:33,794 --> 00:16:35,596
[Guide]
Careful.
418
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:38,365
Well, I'm immune to silver,
so good luck keeping me in.
419
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,634
-Oh, do you have the key?
-Touché.
420
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,604
What is this despicable torture
that you have concocted?
421
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,574
But I like to think of it
as a lesson, really.
422
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:47,741
An education.
423
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,443
Did Perdita put you up to this?
424
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,612
[laughing]
Perdita?
425
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:52,813
You mean...
426
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,281
[Perdita's voice]
Morrigan Manor
427
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,549
-can be a treacherous place...
-[gasps]
428
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,451
[normal voice]
...et cetera, et cetera?
429
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,553
-You mean that Perdita?
-[Nadja] Witch.
430
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,555
-[Laszlo] Well done.
-It was me the whole time.
431
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,057
Yeah, no doy.
432
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,292
I-I knew when you shot me
from my chair.
433
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,628
-[Guide] Good.
-Quite a glass onion.
434
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,196
[Nandor] [quietly]
I think Perdita Morrigan
435
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,432
is pretending to be The Guide.
436
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,100
No, you fucking idiot.
437
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,402
She just said that it was her
that was doing it.
438
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,271
-Who?
-[Nadja] Fucking hell.
439
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,672
-Let me just say this slowly.
-[Laszlo] I wouldn't bother.
440
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,673
-I'd just carry on.
-[Guide] Should I not?
441
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,208
-No.
-[Colin] Yeah.
442
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,443
I know that Perdita spends
the offseason
443
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,278
at her chalet in Gstaad,
444
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,080
and that her mansion
would be empty.
445
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,215
And the perfect place
to teach you all
446
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,217
a valuable lesson
447
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,720
about the importance
of being nice to people
448
00:17:32,753 --> 00:17:35,322
who maybe aren't part
of your core group
449
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,291
but who have done a lot
of nice things for you
450
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,493
and yet you still
treat them like shit.
451
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,829
[Nadja]
Wait, you did all of this
452
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:43,497
instead of just asking us
453
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,633
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
454
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:48,469
-Yeah, I guess I did. [chuckles]
-Okay, I think
you taught them a lesson,
455
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,271
-so now we just get them...
[groans]
-No, Guillermo.
456
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:52,306
My lesson has but only begun.
457
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,807
You will each
458
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,077
spend the rest
of your eternal lives here.
459
00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,081
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
460
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:05,452
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
461
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,354
Always on the outside.
462
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,423
And every time
I try to get close,
463
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,558
-I get burned.
-[Nadja] I thought
464
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,360
you really liked us.
465
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,361
I did.
466
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,096
Deeply and desperately.
467
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,732
And all I wanted
was for you to like me.
468
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,435
Instead, you treated me like...
469
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,337
an afterthought.
470
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:28,609
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
471
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,543
An annoyance.
472
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,478
Oh, nice going, dipshit.
473
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,080
A hanger-on.
474
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,415
Stand over there
and just pretend not to listen.
475
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,449
I can do that.
476
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,617
An inconvenience.
477
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,619
You did R-S-veep "yes."
478
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:42,423
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
479
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,559
So this is basically
a clip show now?
480
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,827
Are we Golden Girls?
481
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,295
You know, I'm starting to think
482
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,764
that this might be
all of my fault.
483
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,201
This is the hex
that I have been cursed with.
484
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,436
[Guide]
Oh,
485
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,338
-my dear Mistress Nadja.
-[sniffles]
486
00:18:57,371 --> 00:18:59,406
-I have good news.
-Huh?
487
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,141
There is no hex.
488
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,043
There never was a hex.
489
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,345
-[gasping]
-I just made you think
490
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,313
-there was a hex.
-What?
491
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,615
-Witch!
-[Colin] Did not have that
492
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,584
on my 2023 bingo card.
493
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,820
-Why?!
-So that I could try
to help you.
494
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:15,823
-[Laszlo chuckles]
-So that you would, I don't
know, see me as a friend,
495
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:17,825
treat me as a friend.
496
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,094
I did say thank you
for your help with the hex.
497
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:21,629
-Not once.
-I meant to?
498
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:24,331
-You didn't.
-Thank you so much.
499
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,466
-Too late!
-[groans]
500
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,067
Even to the bitter end,
501
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,736
hoping against hope,
502
00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:32,206
I gave each of you
one last chance to show me
503
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:35,209
the smallest amount of kindness.
504
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,744
And even that was beyond you!
505
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:40,147
-[hisses]
-No one told us
it was a fucking test.
506
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,349
-W-Wait, why isn't Gumball
in here with us?
-[Laszlo chuckles]
507
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,352
Because Guillermo is
the only one out of all of you
508
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,488
that has ever shown me
any kindness.
509
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,356
-[coughs] Brownnoser.
-And yet you all
510
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,325
treat him so shabbily
511
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,228
that even after all this time
of waiting to become
512
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,429
one of you...
513
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,764
he's forced to give up
514
00:19:56,797 --> 00:19:59,065
and take matters
into his own hands.
515
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,069
Sorry, what?
516
00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:03,404
-[sighs]
-Well, I think, y-you know,
517
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,172
I don't think
they mean to exclude you.
518
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,407
-Guillermo,
do not stick up for them.
-I'm not--
519
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,675
[Nandor]
Circling back to "taking matters
520
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,343
into his own hands..."
521
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,445
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
522
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,713
-those paintings
are very important.
-Well, it kind of is the point.
523
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,214
Is anyone else curious
about this?
524
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,282
Laszlo?
525
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,684
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
526
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,419
I-I like this cage.
527
00:20:18,452 --> 00:20:20,588
-Colin Robinson? Any...
-No, sir.
528
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,323
[Nandor]
Okay, you know,
it kind of feels like
529
00:20:22,356 --> 00:20:24,725
there's something going on
and everyone knows
530
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,627
what it is except me.
531
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,062
-[Nadja sputters]
-Awkward.
532
00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:30,631
[thunder rumbling]
533
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,199
Master.
534
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,700
Yes?
535
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:36,136
I, uh...
536
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,271
Spit it out.
537
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,406
I made a-a big mistake.
538
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:42,543
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
539
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,078
you.
540
00:20:44,111 --> 00:20:45,813
-[Laszlo mouths]
-I had someone else turn me
541
00:20:45,846 --> 00:20:47,481
into a vampire.
542
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,283
I-I asked them to do it.
543
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,417
[Laszlo] [whispers]
Oh, fuck.
544
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,452
♪ ♪
545
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,058
You asked...
546
00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:00,560
...someone else?
547
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:04,664
A vampire who was not me?
548
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,135
I felt like I had
no other choice.
549
00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,403
You could have asked me.
550
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,205
Are you fucking kidding me?
551
00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:13,707
I asked you repeatedly
for 13 years.
552
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,477
Yes, and I was gonna get round
to it.
553
00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,412
I've had a lot on my plate
at the moment!
554
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,080
[thunder rumbling]
555
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,148
-Who?
-What?
556
00:21:21,181 --> 00:21:22,349
Who was it?
557
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,084
I don't think that's
really relevant.
558
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,686
-It's relevant to me.
-It's just, what's done is done.
559
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,053
-Guillermo!
-Derek.
560
00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:29,823
Okay.
561
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,825
Well, thank you
for being honest with me.
562
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,494
-Okay.
-I appreciate it.
563
00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:36,063
Now I'm going to be honest
with you.
564
00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,164
This is good.
565
00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,365
I...
566
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:39,500
am going...
567
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,768
to kill you,
568
00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:42,303
Guillermo.
569
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:44,071
And then quite possibly myself.
570
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:45,406
[whispers]
It all depends
571
00:21:45,439 --> 00:21:47,041
on whether I'm still completely
572
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:49,176
and utterly humiliated
573
00:21:49,209 --> 00:21:50,444
after I'm done killing you!
574
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,146
-[grunts, screams]
-[sizzling]
575
00:21:52,179 --> 00:21:54,214
[Laszlo] Whoa-whoa-whoa,
if it makes you feel any better,
576
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:55,583
he's only a half-baked vampire.
577
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,052
Yes, I know.
He has Van Helsing blood.
578
00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,753
His vampire-killer cells
579
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,423
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
580
00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:06,093
-Okay. That's what's going on.
-Oh, shit.
581
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:08,162
-Fuck.
-Another mystery solved.
582
00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:09,430
Well, you live and learn, right?
583
00:22:09,463 --> 00:22:10,764
[Colin, Nadja and Laszlo laugh]
584
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,067
Master,
if you would just let me talk--
585
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,535
You're a dead man!
586
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:16,770
[growls]
587
00:22:24,278 --> 00:22:26,046
Stay back there.
And in the meantime,
588
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,249
where are the documentarians?
Behind me?
589
00:22:28,282 --> 00:22:29,617
There you are. I say,
590
00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,086
could you find the tapes
591
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,423
from November the 21st, 2022?
592
00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:42,096
[Colin]
Yeah. I know she doesn't have,
like, a last name
593
00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:44,331
or a first name,
for that matter,
594
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:47,735
but I-I just think
that The Guide is really nice.
595
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:49,103
[Laszlo]
I'd say she's more than nice,
Colin Robinson.
596
00:22:49,136 --> 00:22:50,671
She has a tremendous wit
597
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,640
and a fantastic backside.
598
00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:54,475
[Nadja]
That would usually make me
very jealous,
599
00:22:54,508 --> 00:22:56,777
if I didn't completely agree!
600
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,580
And, you know,
she's also a very good listener.
601
00:22:59,613 --> 00:23:01,482
And once you get used
to that voice,
602
00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:04,184
she has some
very interesting things to say.
603
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:06,287
[Nandor]
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
604
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,290
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
605
00:23:09,323 --> 00:23:10,591
the whole time.
606
00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:12,192
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
607
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,427
You can turn that off.
She gets the point.
608
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,129
-Oh.
-Thank you.
-[beep]
609
00:23:15,162 --> 00:23:16,797
That was so lovely.
610
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:20,167
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
611
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,303
Because we're vampires,
612
00:23:22,336 --> 00:23:24,505
my squeaky-voiced,
613
00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:27,608
fucking berserk,
nutjob, idiot friend.
614
00:23:27,641 --> 00:23:31,345
And sometimes we're not too good
with the old niceties
615
00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:33,514
and kindness
towards those we care about.
616
00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:35,316
But our hearts...
617
00:23:35,349 --> 00:23:37,151
are full of love.
618
00:23:37,184 --> 00:23:39,319
[Nadja]
He's not wrong.
619
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:44,158
I am so embarrassed.
620
00:23:44,191 --> 00:23:45,593
Oh!
621
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:47,494
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
622
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,229
Now let-let me out now.
623
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,564
-[chuckles] Okay.
-Come on.
-[Laszlo] Here we are.
624
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,466
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
625
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,269
Now let me out of this cage
so I can kill Guillermo.
626
00:23:55,302 --> 00:23:57,171
[Guide]
Guess I kind of got in my head
627
00:23:57,204 --> 00:23:58,772
-a little bit. [laughing]
-Yes.
-[Lazlo] Yes,
628
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,641
I think you did.
629
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,476
-[squeaking]
-Ooh!
-[Laszlo] Fuck.
630
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:03,744
I've never been able to do that.
631
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:04,745
[Nandor]
Now you're just rubbing it in.
632
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,546
Very Derek.
633
00:24:07,681 --> 00:24:09,650
Master,
if I let you out of this cage,
634
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,251
do you promise not to kill me?
635
00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,154
I promise.
636
00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:15,456
You mean it?
637
00:24:15,489 --> 00:24:16,724
No!
638
00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:18,325
-[keys jangle]
-What are you doing?
639
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:19,627
I'm giving you a head start,
you knob lord.
640
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:20,728
[Nandor]
Laszlo, let me out of this cage
641
00:24:20,761 --> 00:24:22,596
so I can kill Guillermo!
642
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,764
Give me that key!
643
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:24,665
[Laszlo]
If I were you, I'd run.
644
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,566
Run, boy, run!
645
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,803
-[squeaking]
-[Nandor] Guillermo...!
646
00:24:29,836 --> 00:24:32,072
[sizzling]
647
00:24:33,373 --> 00:24:35,408
["Damnation Alley"
by Bitch playing]
648
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,752
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
649
00:24:44,785 --> 00:24:47,554
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
650
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:49,256
-the whole time.
-[Nadja] I know.
651
00:24:49,289 --> 00:24:50,791
She also has such great style.
652
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,793
All those blacks and grays.
653
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:54,628
Oh, I see.
654
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,298
I get it. You guys are...
655
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,700
trying to get me
to hook up with her
656
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:01,602
and so we become a couple
657
00:25:01,635 --> 00:25:04,805
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
658
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,041
-I get it.
-What?
-LASZLO: What?
659
00:25:07,074 --> 00:25:09,143
-We would never do that.
-[blows raspberry]
-NADJA: Of course not!
660
00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:13,180
♪ Damnation, Damnation Alley ♪
661
00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:16,450
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley ♪
662
00:25:16,483 --> 00:25:18,118
♪ Yeah ♪
663
00:25:18,151 --> 00:25:19,353
♪ Damnation ♪
664
00:25:19,386 --> 00:25:22,189
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
665
00:25:22,222 --> 00:25:27,194
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
666
00:25:27,227 --> 00:25:28,395
♪ Damnation ♪
667
00:25:28,428 --> 00:25:31,599
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
668
00:25:31,632 --> 00:25:36,437
♪ You'll never get out of here
alive ♪
669
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:37,605
♪ Damnation ♪
670
00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:40,507
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
671
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:45,446
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
672
00:25:45,479 --> 00:25:46,780
♪ Damnation ♪
673
00:25:46,813 --> 00:25:49,316
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
674
00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:51,752
♪ You'll never get out of here ♪
675
00:25:51,785 --> 00:25:53,754
[echoing]
♪ Alive. ♪
676
00:25:53,787 --> 00:25:59,059
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
45757
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