All language subtitles for Finding.Bliss.2009.en

All right, I want you to have
a couple bites, all right?

I think that you need to
focus more on your academics.

No, she did all her
homework before dinner.

Dressing, honey?

Sure, thank you.
All right.

Sex has been a disaster
for me my entire life.

- Daddy?
- Mm-hmm?

What's a blow job?

I couldn't say "blow job"
for ten years after that.

Let alone give one.

But I could still
wonder about it.

Especially if it
had anything to do with

French-kissing Bobby Daples.

But even then,
when it came to sex...

Total disaster.

By the time the bottle
finally landed on Bobby,

he must have watched me
kiss over 100 boys.

I'm not kissing you.

You're a slut.

I didn't kiss another boy

until my last year of college.

Promise it won't hurt?

No, no, honey,
it's not gonna hurt at all.

Really?
Trust me.

It's gonna feel great.

You're gonna absolutely
love this. Okay.

Trust me. I'm a little scared.

He dumped me the next day,

and I finally accepted
the harsh truth.

I sucked at sex.

Romance?

That was a whole other story.

I gotta go.

Oh, come on.

You're torturing me.

It's gonna be worth the wait.

Honestly, I knew it wasn't worth
the wait for either one of us,

but as long as I was
in the power position,

I was happy.

But there was one place
where love was honest,

selfless and eternal.

It was the closest I could come
to succeeding in love...

and sex.

I didn't just fall in love
with watching them,

I fell in love with making them.

I could rearrange reality
the way I wanted...

and it was addictive.

Jody, this has to be,
hands down,

the best fucking
sex I've ever had.

I can't believe you're a virgin.

That's impossible.

Two years later, I was
graduating from NYU Film School.

And now for our final award.

Mr. Marshall,
if you please.

Professor Emerich, thank you.

This year's special award

for Best Student Film goes to...

Jody Balaban.

Whoa, yes!

Jody, where are you?

Jody, wait!

That's Garry Marshall
up there, okay?

Show him those lips are
good for giving more than

an acceptance speech.

"Pretty Woman," baby!

"Pretty Woman"!

Hi, here you go.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi, our friendly filmmaker.

Take a picture.

Who are these people?

Oh, those are my parents.

Ah, for the parents.

It was the best day of my life.

The day I knew I was
destined to do great things.

Hi, it's Jody Balaban calling
again for Mr. Marshall.

Sure, I can call back in six
months, but I'd really like to...

After a year in LA,

I realized the closest I'd ever
get to directing

was directing traffic.

I just wanted to
drop my résumé off.

He gave me the Best
Student Film award.

This is crazy.

I've sent out hundreds of copies
of my script,

my film and my résumé.

I've spent more money on postage
than I have on my rent.

Mr. Marshall's office.

Hi, it's Jody Balaban
for Mr. Marshall.

Wait, didn't you call yesterday?

Yes, I called...

I'd answered ads for every job
in this business

and I can't get
anyone to call me back.

Asshole!

That asshole was
the one that hit me!

It was the fifth job I was
fired from in a year.

But at least
I still had my dignity.

Fuck!

So what'd you think?

It's even better than
it was before.

Oh, really? Yeah, really, really.

Jody, it's hilarious, but you
have rewritten this thing

100 times and you are still
the only one that's read it.

You gotta get it out there,
you know?

You gotta get it
read by somebody who matters.

I can't get anyone to
return my calls.

You know that.

You have to network.

You have to go out
and play the game.

I moved out here a month
after you

and I'm already
working for Joel Metzger.

The hottest... Exec in town.

Yeah.

I know and that's
different. Why?

Because I wanna
break into producing?

No, because you're blowing him.

I should just make
the movie myself.

We could shoot it
super low-budget.

"We"?

You said yourself,
it's a great script.

Yeah, Jody, but be realistic.

How are you gonna afford camera,

lights, a crew, sets?

I mean, you're broke.

I could sell my grandma's
engagement ring.

That is a family heirloom.

Your parents would kill you.

All artists make sacrifices
for their dreams.

Put your big dreams
aside for a little while.

You're 24 years old.

Go on a date or something.

Good night, I love you.

I love you, too.

Who am I kidding?

I'd love some romance
in my life,

but I can't
afford to lose my focus.

Not now.

I just needed one yes.

Someone who'd give me a chance.

You have one new message.

Hi, honey, it's Mom.

I just finished your screenplay.

Oh, I just...
I don't know what to say.

It's outstanding.

You have to call me.

Hey, how you doing?

This is Gary calling from
Irene Fox's office.

You answered our ad in the paper

for the editor position?

Irene was really impressed
with your résumé

and would love to meet you ASAP.

Yes!

Hi, it's so nice to meet you.

Ow.

Oh, you too.

You just relax, sit
down, hon. Okay.

What a cute blazer, I love it.

I just wanted to say how
excited I am to meet you

and as much as I'd love
the opportunity

to be an in-house editor,

what I really wanna do
is be a filmmaker.

Oh, no, I know.

I saw your student film,
it was very impressive.

You watched it?

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

You have just this incredible

female point of view,

which is really gonna be
a plus on Jeff's movie.

Jeff?
Jeff Drake.

The director you'll be
working with.

Oh.

You've never heard of him?

I'm really embarrassed to
say that I haven't.

How many films has he directed?

Oh, not that many lately.

I'm gonna say four this year.

This year?
Mmm.

Wow, that's incredible.

What's his best-known movie?

"Charlie's Anals.""Charlie's Angels"?

No!

Honey, you're cute.

No, "Charlie's Anals."

Shipped 20,000 copies
last month.

Uh... uh...

Oh.

Uh... oh.

Uh... oh!

Oh, oh, oh, uh...

This is... this is...
This is... um...

I'm... I'm... I'm...

This is a huge mistake,
because I answered this ad

in the "Daily Variety,"

which said, "Up-and-coming
production company

seeks self-starters for a
challenging editing position."

Well, we are up-and-coming.

I didn't mean it...

I didn't realize
that this was a porn...

No... uh, we do not use
the "P" word here, honey.

The "P" word is passé.

It's adult entertainment.

Look, every single applicant
I've interviewed for this job

thinks it's a nine-to-five
jack fest.

I want someone with
real filmmaking talent.

You are a smart, young woman

with an accessible
point of view.

That's invaluable
if we're gonna make it

into the mainstream.

Don't get me wrong,
nobody shoots sex better

than Jeff Drake, trust me.

But he's a little out of touch
with his romantic side.

And romance, that's what we need

if we're gonna pull in
the female demographic

and make it onto the big screen.

It's gonna be on the big screen?

In the top art-house markets.

Los Angeles, New York, Miami.

Miami... great.

My parents could see it.

Oh, good.

Look, I've...

I've never even seen a porn...

Hey, no "P"...

Adult film.

Fabulous.

You'll have
the fresh perspective

we're so desperately in need of.

Why don't you keep it overnight,

check it out,

and I want your answer first
thing in the morning.

All right.
Thanks, Jody.

Hi, this is Jody Balaban
calling for Garry Marshall.

It's a matter of grave
importance.

He's not available.

Can I take a message?

Ahh!

God, I would have loved to
have seen your face, though,

at a porn company?

Little Miss Virgin
lost in a bay of pigs.

I'm not a virgin.

Excuse me, when a girl's
genitals become petrified,

she's reclassified a virgin.

Beats sleeping
with my married boss.

That's getting tired.

At least I'm willing to make
a sacrifice for my art.

Sound familiar?

I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.

So am I, you know?

I should just take that job
at the porn company.

Even edit my movie there.

What movie?

Hey, you must be Jody.

I'm Gary.

I'm gonna be your
tour guide here at Grind

and I figured we'd start
at the editing room.

It's this way.

I'm actually
head of tech support.

So, you know, if you need
some technical help,

I would be...
the technical guru.

Well, I haven't actually
accepted the job yet.

Right, yes, I know, so...

Of course.

This is just one of our
small editing rooms.

This is not locked.

Well, here it is.

That's our logo.

Pretty cool, right?

Well, I hope you take the job.

Actually be nice to
have a pretty face

like yours working here.Thanks.

One that doesn't have
a freakishly large penis

jammed into it.

Oh, fuck me,
that just popped out.

I'm so sorry, that was so
terribly inappropriate.

Oh, fucking, just beat me with
a baseball bat at this moment.

It's okay, it's okay.

I didn't mean to say
that to you. It's okay.

Thank you so much for the tour,

but I really have to get going.

Why don't you just at least
see the sound stage?

There's a sound stage? We
have a sound stage, yeah.

It's down this way.

Well, this is it.

Just shot "Gladiator" here.

He shot "Gladiator" here?

Uh...

Yeah, no, it's...

"Glad He Ate Her."

Vagina.

I know, it's not...

Anyway, this was actually
just a warehouse

'til Irene took over,
now it's one of the busiest

soundstages in town.

They actually shot
200 movies this year alone.

It's like a few movies a week.

If you can imagine...

Action.

Action, action, action.

Cut!

If you imagine it, y'know,
they probably shot it here.

There's a fridge filled with
film stock in the back

and lighting and sound.

The whole nine yards.

This place has
everything we need.

I couldn't have planned it
any better... it's perfect.

I'll edit their porno movies
during the day... Oh, my God.

and make my movie at night.

What if we get caught?

We won't get caught.

If we shoot a few hours every
night after everybody

leaves the building,

no one will ever have to know.

We could wrap the movie
in under a month.

An editing job?

Oh, honey, I'm so happy for you.

I knew if you would call
Garry Marshall...

I knew that would be the answer.

And full benefits, you said?

I got everything.

Even a parking space.

It's about time you have
a respectable job, Jody.

Something worthy of
your talents.

Honey, what else has
the company done?

Because you know
what we're gonna do?

We're gonna rent every movie

they ever did from
Blockbuster. No, you can't.

They're an up-and-coming
company.

They're just
getting off the ground.

Even better.

You'll grow with the company.

It's like I've always said.

Just because it's Hollywood

doesn't mean
you have to sell your soul.

All you need are talent
and connections,

then you can look any
producer square in the eyes

and tell him with dignity to...

"Fuck me in the ass!

Harder, harder,
oh, baby!"

Who's line is it?

Oh, oh...

"Oh, yeah, take that black dick.

You like that big black
fucking dick?"

Yo, idiot, that's my line.

Yeah, you just slap my ass.

Where does it say that?

Stage directions, Dick.

They're called stage directions.

Oh.

Okay, right here.

Okay, Jody, why don't you
read those for us.

Me? Yeah, right here.

Thank you.

Uh... okay.

"He grunts as he spreads
her wet...

He inserts his
rock-hard cock..."

You know what,
I'm just the editor.

Can she read them?

You'll have that by Thursday.

Oh, hi, guys.

Marty's just finished the new
draft of the script.

Hopefully you can have it
all memorized by Monday.

Monday?
Uh-huh.

I'd rather throw in
a DP for free.

DP.

That's director of
photography, right?

The double penetration.

What's a double...

Yeah.

Yes!

ATM is still in here.

Please tell me that ATM is
automated teller machine.

It is, it is, yeah.

It's also
"ass to mouth."

Okay, there we go.

Hot!

The coffee's just really hot.

I thought it was rather tepid.

Hey, everyone.
Jeff!

Hey, Jeff.
Sindi.

You must be my new editor.

Oh, yes, Jeff, this is Jody,

your new right hand, huh?

Oh, fantastic.

Hi.
Hi.

Ha!

Jody, you don't
wanna be his right hand.

Maybe she does.

Okay, before it gets gross,
I'm gonna go.

Have a good read.

All right, everyone,
let's read that new scene.

"Oh, baby you're giving me
a hard attack... "

No.
Dress.

No, okay, dress, sorry.

"Oh...

"Ooh, ooh, baby.

That dress is giving me
a hardattack."

Maybe no is my dress.

Maybe it's my body.

I cur-vacuous girl.

Not "vacuous."

"Vaceous," curvaceous.

What mean "vacuous"?

It means you're vacuuming.

Oh, God, this piece of shit!

I mean, come on, Marty.

Really, is this the best
you can do?

"Hard attack"?

I mean, how many times
do I have to tell you,

we're not making another
wall-to-wall piece of crap?

We're making a movie.

A movie to play
in a movie theater.

Do you know the difference,
Marty?

Yeah, the viewer can't
fast-forward to the fucking.

Oh, that's funny.

You just threw my scripts
in the trash.

Marty, you're fired.

Who the hell do you
think you are, Drake?

Orson fucking Welles?

Y'know, go fuck yourself.

And fuck your little fantasy
about making a real movie

with this
pathetic bunch of clowns.

Get the fuck out of here!

Hey, I heard you
went to Dartmouth.

I went to MIT.

How do people like us
end up here?

Ah, yes, it would be Karma.

I spent my entire adolescence
whacking off to porn and now...

I know I'd rather watch

gall bladder surgery
on Discover.

Not to whack off to.

No, that would...
That would be gross.

I don't do that.

You're over here, so...

I believe you.

Oh, this is my editing room.

It's pretty sweet, right?

Only the best for my new editor.

Gary, you mind giving us
a minute?

Yeah, you got it, pal.

Have a seat.

Irene showed me your
student film and I loved it.

Especially the writing.

Thank you.

I have a proposition for you.

You help me rewrite Marty's
piece-of-shit script,

and I will double your salary.

What do you say?

Irene hired me as an editor.

Yeah, now you've been promoted.

You'll be my
editor and my writer.

I really don't think I'm
gonna have the time.

No, listen, this could be
a huge opportunity for you.

I want this film to be released

in an art house.

It's a movie about a bride

who willingly gets gangbanged
before her own wedding.

That's true, that is true.

Good writing will legitimize it,

get people to pay attention.

But in the meantime,
I need to make sure

you can handle
cutting hard-core.

What's this?

That's the star
of my movie, Bliss.

It's a trial run of her opening.

I think of that as a little
test drive for my editor.

Fine.

What's to test?

Fuck me, you little
piece of shit!

Yeah, I'm gonna come!

Oh, the hell you are!

You don't make me come first,

I'm gonna yank your little dick off.

Oh, my God. You want it, Bliss, huh?

Yeah.

I'm gonna give it to you, you
dirty, little fucking slut!

I am a dirty fucking slut!

You're a slut.

You're a slut.

Jody is a slut.

Remember junior high,
dreaming about Bobby Daples?

Even then your little
hoo-ha was on fire.

Oh, no, I'm thinking
about Bobby's pee-pee

during my own Bat Mitzvah.

It's fucking priceless.

Now look at you.

Hiding behind your work so
you don't have to deal with

the sweaty complications
of real life.

Just remember, wherever you go,

there you are.

Oh, Bliss, I'm gonna come!

Of course I have needs,

but I'm not about to give my
body over to some man

who's only interested
in me giving him a blow...

Okay!

Thank you so much.

That's... that'll be all.

How old was she, 12?

No.

How many more girls
do we have left?

Reading for Katie?

Just one.

That's it?

Brandi Snow,
why don't you come in?

Hi.

I love your script.

It's so funny.

Actually, I didn't write it,
the director did.

She'll be in in a minute.

Do you wanna come in? Okay.

Ow, what is your problem?

That's Sindi.

It's one of the porn stars
from Grind.

Wait a second.

Brandi Snow is her real name
and Sindi's her porn name?

Just read her
and get her out of here.

Okay.

I'm gonna come.

On it, not in it!

Fucking slut!

Hey, I got you some coffee.

Thanks.

What'd you think of Bliss?

She is something else.

Yeah, yeah,
she's a force of nature.

A woman who's totally in touch
with her sexuality,

no excuses, no apologies.

And you're gonna be spending
a lot of time with her.

Here.
What's this?

Directions to my house.

I'm having a party
tomorrow night

before our
first day of shooting.

I'd like for you to come up

and get to know
the talent as people,

not just scary sex machines.

Thanks for asking, but I can't.

Oh, I'm not asking.

I'm highly suggesting.

Just ignore how handsome Jeff
is when you see him, okay?

We only have to stay
for a couple of minutes.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me, don't I know you?

Oh, no, I don't think so, no.

Did we do that strap-on scene
in Brad's kitchen last week?

No.

Wait, wait, you...

You're that girl
I auditioned for.

Oh, right.

What is she doing here?

Kathleen is my best friend.

We went to film school together.

You... you have to
read her script.

It is so awesome.

You really think so?

Yeah, I mean, I know I'm
not right to play Katie,

but what I wouldn't
give to be in that movie.

You wanna be a real actress?

It's been my dream since...
Since I was a kid.

So then why are you doing porn?

'Cause it's tough trying to
make it in Hollywood.

It's not like
I'm gonna do it forever.

And then I have this hot body,

so it's like God
telling me to do porn.

You just have to
believe in yourself.

That's what my mom
always tells me.

I love this song.

I gotta go, bye!

Shake it, girl!

I'm gonna go find the bathroom.

Oh, God, hurry.

So we all came in
a martini glass

and then the chick swallows it.

She takes the olive

and then she bites down on that.

And that's the end of the movie.

I've been dating that girl
from the 101 and I just...

I don't even know if I like her.

I don't know... how can I tell?

You know what I do?

If I really like a chick...

I jack off to her.

I think all
kind of little nasty shit

that I wanna do to her,

just the prolonged one,
not the quickie one,

and then when I nut,

if I still have any sense
of emotion for her,

I call her.

What happens after you nut

if all you wanna do is text her?

It's about time you got here.

Is this yours?

Hell, no, that's...
That's Jeff Drakowski's.

You're Jeff Drakowski?

The Jeff Drakowski that
directed "Mystic Shadows"?

You might be one of ten people

who's actually seen that movie.

I love that movie.

It's full of so much
nuanced Romanticism

and harsh social insights, it...

It's a pretentious piece of crap

that couldn't pay my phone bill.

But thanks for the compliment.

Art isn't about making profit.

It's about
making a human connection.

Fuck art.

Porn is about making
a human connection.

How can you say that?

Aren't you just romanticizing
your cynicism?

You'll understand after a few
months of Grind, believe me.

I'm not gonna
be there that long.

Then why'd you take the job?

Come on, Balaban,
you can tell me.

Why are you
really working at Grind?

You're supposed to say
to work alongside

the great Jeff Drake.

All that nuanced
Romanticism crap.

Enjoy the party.

Americans have such
fascination with asshole.

I know one girl,

she fit two men
and one cucumber in her butt.

How do you call this?

When a guy pull out and hole
stay open like this?

It's called gaper, yes?

Oh, thank God.

Where were you?

I can't believe
I know what a gaper is.

Jeff Drake is Jeff Drakowski.

Who?
Jeff Drakowski.

You remember that amazing
film that Emerich showed

at orientation,
"Mystic Shadows"?

Are you sure it's the same guy?

Yes.

Jody, hey, you made it.

Who's your pretty friend?

That's terribly tacky...
I just said that, didn't I?

I'm sorry, I didn't wanna
say you were pretty.

Not that you're not
pretty, I think you're very...

I'm still doing it
right as I speak to you?

Someone, if you have a baseball
bat, now is the time.

Gary.
Yes.

This is my best friend Kathleen.

Kathleen, Gary. Hello, I'm Gary.

She just said that twice.

Now it's three times.

Hi.
Hi, Gary.

Pleasure. It's very nice
to meet you.

You, too.

So, hey, should we
get going? You guys should go.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Jody, it's totally cool.

I'm very used to rejection,
that's why I sleep with hookers.

What?

Yes, it's true.

I lost my virginity to a hooker

and it's been about
500 bucks a month ever since.

And I just said that
to both of you.

Well, I totally relate.

I lost my virginity to my
best friend's stepdad,

and it's been a series of
married assholes ever since.

Really?

Can I freshen your drink up?

You wanna have another one?

I don't know, I'm just
talking out loud again.

Okay. Great, Jody, you...

Thank you, okay.

And whenever you're ready.

Ted was the one I waited for.

He betrayed me.

But worse than that,

he betrayed
my idea of romantic love.

Richard, I can't have
sex with you.

Katie, just say yes.
No.

Oh, my God, that was amazing.

You guys were awesome.

Making a movie!

Hi, honey.

Okay, tell me, has there
been any reaction

to the script?

Actually, I'm pretty close
to getting it made.

Oh, honey, I'm so excited...

Oh.

APS!

I think I have a delivery.

Okay, I'll hang on.

I'm gonna call you right back.

Where's Jeff?

I can't believe
he sent a basket of dildos

into my apartment.

Jeff!

Shh, what are you doing?

It's the first day
of Jeff's movie.

Come on.

Cut!

That's one hour for lunch, guys.

Let's make sure we
clean up the set.

Great first day, everyone.

Sindi, no beans.

No beans at lunch.

See you tomorrow, Jeff.

Oh, I see you got
my gift basket.

Is... little Jody Balaban

all set for her
first day at school?

That's not funny.

I'll check in with you later.

Hey.

Thanks for introducing
me to Kathleen.

I'm so glad that it worked out.

It did.

You know, she's actually
the first normal girl

I've dated since high school.

I mean, she's still gonna run
me like 500 bucks a month

but at least I get dinner
and a movie with my load.

That is an awful thing to say.

"I owe you" is really...

Is all I really wanted to say.

I'll see you in a bit.

Irene.
Gary.

Oh, hey, how's
the footage looking?

I am just about to
get started. Excellent.

Y'know, I think you and Jeff
are gonna make a great team.

By the way, I want you to
come to me

and tell me what you think.

I really respect your opinion.

Okay, Irene, I actually
have a question.

Sure.

Don't you ever have any
issues with working here?

No.

So paying women to have sex
doesn't bother you?

Well, I pay men, too.

Actually, I pay the men
a lot less than

I pay the women, but shh.

Action.

Oh, that's fabulous, Bliss.

Baby...

Come on, I want it more.

Come on, I want it more.

I love it, baby.

Give it to me.

Oh, come on, baby.

Come on, I want it more.

More, baby.

I love it, baby.

Yes!

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

All right, Bliss,
oh, that's great.

Now touch yourself.

Not so hard.

Lick your lips.

That's right, excellent.

Spread your legs.

Go ahead, Balaban,
touch yourself.

I know you want to.

Really...
fantastic.

Oh, you're so sexy.

That's right, touch yourself.

Oh!

I'm proud of you, baby.

You're finally letting
yourself enjoy this.

I'm not enjoying myself.

I feel so pathetic.

You're hardly pathetic.

Come on.

Starting tonight you're gonna
be making your own movie.

Yeah, and look at the price
I have to pay.

Shh, shh!

Hey, Jody, where do we go?

Shh, around the back! Come and get us!

Wait, Kathleen, are we not
supposed to be here?

Of course not.

We just don't wanna
wake up the neighbors.

"On the Virge," take one.

Roll sound, rolling.

Marker.

Action!

Richard, if you love me,
you'll wait.

A relationship
isn't just about sex.

It's okay, Katie.

I'll never give up on you.

And cut!

That was awesome,
that was so great!

Ready?

Next set up, let's move.
Are we still rolling?

Action!

Roll sound, rolling.

Action!

Oh, I love it!

Action!

"On the Virge."

All right, come on, people,
let's go.

We're behind schedule,
keep moving, keep moving.

- Roll sound.
- Action.

Action.

And cut!

Jesus, Jody, this is our
fucking craft services?

We work on your movie for free

and you can't even get us
a lousy fruit platter?

Who's this fucking guy?

And here I thought
I'd surprise you, Jody.

I gotta admit, Jody.

I am impressed by your...

Oh, what is that word
I'm looking for?

Gall... audacity.

How about perseverance?

No.
No.

Unfortunately for you, honey,

I run a business,
not a film school.

You are so lucky I'm not gonna
fire your sneaky ass.

Wanna know why?

Because you know how hard it is

to be a woman in this business?

No, that's a good one.

I love... no.

Because you're gonna
rewrite Jeff's movie.

Gratis.

That means for free.

Oh, and one more thing.

From now on, you pay
for your own film stock.

I can't afford to
pay for my own...

You're gonna let me
shoot my movie here.

We got "Fat Fanny's Fannies"
coming in

at the end of the month...
You've got three weeks.

Thank you so much!

At least we won't have to be
sneaking our actors

in and out, right?

What actors?

The ones that ran like the wind

the second they realized
this was a porn studio?

How did they find out?

I don't know, maybe it was
the butt plug Angie sat on.

Hey, hey!
Hi!

Do you have my bag?

Jody?

Jody?

The thing is, we can only shoot
at night and on the weekends,

so you have to be able
to balance your schedule

with Jeff's movie
during the day.

Oh, my God.

No problem.

Now you're gonna have two
scripts to memorize

so that means
cutting out pretty much

all of your extracurricular
activities.

You mean like carbs and stuff?

Jody.

What are you doing?

Whatever it takes.

Holy shit, Jody.

These people can't act.

Especially in
a film about a virgin

holding out for her
wedding night.

You said yourself that
Sindi was really good.

Okay, well, what about
the other two castaways

from the SS Suck and Fuck?

Don't be mean.

We don't have a Katie.

Who's gonna play your
virginal lead?

We'll place another ad.

You think you're gonna get
a real actor to

play alongside these freaks?

Look, I'm not blowing Joel
anymore, okay?

Which means that I have
to be super sharp at work,

which means that I can't
work all day

and stay up all
night producing a film

starring people who think
that "character depth"

is a vaginal reference.

That's a lucky pickle.

If you can't do it,
I understand.

But I have one chance...

and I'm gonna take it.

All right, we start
rehearsing tonight,

and then the second we find
our Katie, we start shooting.

I'll put a casting session
together for tomorrow.

This is gonna take a miracle.

You're sure you wanna do this?

Hey.

Come on in.

Okay, so after
the Jacuzzi scene,

Dick should just say to Bliss,
really vulnerable,

"I've never loved
anyone like this before."

No.

Why not?

They just had great sex.

No man should ever tell
a woman that he loves her

after the first time they've
had sex, okay?

It's not his truth.

He's in some sort of
state of euphoria.

That's not love.

Maybe in your world.

Yes, the real one.

Well, then what world
do I live in?

The not-real one.

This is why we can't
write together.

Look, he just needs to say
something unexpected.

You know, not some sort of
saccharine-laced sweet cliché.

Since when has saying
"I love you" been a cliché?

Look, get over him,
Balaban, okay?

Who?

The guy who treated you so badly

you think every
penis is a loaded gun

aimed straight at your heart.

Is that a line you want
in the script?

Because if it is,
don't you think it's

a little bit obvious?

I'm just hoping a little honesty

will inspire you to write from
your heart, that's all.

Blackmail gets you my time
and my skill.

Not my heart.

I'll polish this turd,
that's it.

All right, okay.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna take a Jacuzzi.

Why, what were you expecting?

Sure you won't join me?

Do you have a certificate
of disinfection?

What is that supposed to mean?

Like, how many girls have
I done in here?

How about you, Balaban?

Why aren't you dating anyone?

I work 9:00 to 5:00

watching people sit on
each other's faces.

What am I gonna
talk about on a date?

How to get ass-cheek impressions

off of your chin?

That would definitely
break the ice.

I just wanna say
how much I appreciate

all of you guys being here

and committing to this project,

and if you have any questions,

please don't
hesitate to ask me, okay?

I'm so excited!

I have question.

You say Katie no have sex,

but then you say she
"sell butt."

No, I wrote that she's celibate.

It means that she doesn't
have sexual intercourse.

Oh, only in the ass.

You don't have to worry
about it, Kato, okay?

Mila.

My real name Mila.

Kato is porn name.

Okay, Mila.

If it's better, you call me
by my character name.

Janet, okay?

Yeah, Janet.

I'd like to be called by
my character's name.

Richard.

Isn't "Dick" short for
"Richard"?

Whose dick is short?

No, dummy, the nickname.

No.

Dick Short's not a good
nickname in our line of work.

Jody, I think
we found our Katie.

Okay, I'll be right back, guys.

Maybe go over your
lines together?

Oh, awesome.
Okay.

Um, all right, you start.

Ted was it.

The one I waited 21 years for.

And he betrayed me.

But worse...

he betrayed my idea
of romantic love.

That was amazing.

Oh, thanks.

We just have one question
for you, Laura.

Sure.

How would you feel if we told
you that we were shooting this

at an adult-film company?

Like a porn company?

No, the "P" word is passé.

It's an adult-entertainment
company.

And we're not shooting for one,

we're shooting at one,

and that's just because
we got a great deal

on their equipment.

Gosh, I mean, it's not really

my first choice, honestly,

but... I really
need this shot.

Great!

We start tonight.

So I got the part?

Yes.

"A" mark.

Action.

Richard, if you love me, you'll wait.

A relationship isn't just about sex.

I promise you, once I'm ready
to give myself to you,

you will have me forever.

It's okay, Katie.

I'll never give up on you.

But one day, you'll have to
learn to thrustme.

Cut.

Okay.

It's "trust me,"
not "thrust me."

Shit!

It's okay.

We're working on my
movie now, not Jeff's.

Sorry.

Take five, everyone.

You know, you did
such a great job.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I'm so glad you said that.

I was so worried that I was
playing Katie a little too...

indecisive.

Why would you think that?

Well, because she's
just so in touch with her

feelings and with herself

and the way she can
control her desires,

even with the right guy.

She doesn't know that
Richard's the right guy yet.

That's why she's holding out
to sleep with him.

You know, it's
a trust issue for her.

But hasn't she known
Richard for years?

Yeah.

Oh.

So you're saying
that Katie's trust issues

are with herself.

Huh.

You're brilliant.

So I just saw your
cut of the wedding orgy

and you stay on the faces

about 90% of the time.

That 90% is what's
gonna get this film

out of the outhouse and
into the art house.

No, that 90% is
what's gonna send men

running out of the theater,
demanding a refund.

Now, the first rule
in cutting adult film

is no reactions to
the action, okay?

The only faces I wanna see
are either buried in a bush

or impaled on a cock.

That's so charming.
Mmm.

You're sending me
mixed messages here.

I thought you hired me because
you wanted to raise the bar.

I do.

I just don't wanna lose my
hard-on reaching for it.

It's not about your hard-on.

It's about giving women
what they need.

What they need is
an emotional connection

and plot and character
and story,

not some sort of onslaught
of gynecological close-ups

where you don't know whose
tits go with what ass.

Okay.

Look, I agree.

The story is important... it is.

And you're doing a great job,
but it's still an adult film,

and at the end of the day,
the sex... is inevitable.

I agree.

It's just that women need
an emotional connection

to get turned on.

Mmm.

What are you doing?

Where are you taking me?

To see if this is true. What?

That women need an emotional
connection to be turned on.

Oh, I don't wanna go in there!

Yes, you do.

And you are gonna watch me
shoot all day long

if that's what
it's gonna take for me

to get through to you, okay?

All right.

Got it?

- I want it.
- Give it to me, Bliss.

Oh, you're so fucking hot.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, God, I'm coming!

Oh, oh, oh...

Excellent, that's a cut.

That's a cut.

Yeah!

Whoo!

Hey, Jode.

I just wanna tell you
how stoked I am

that you gave me a
chance to be in your flick.

You're welcome.

Sorry about the chubby.

Marker.

Can you feel me?

Do you feel Jake, baby?

Huh, do you feel me, baby?

Tell me how you feel!

Come on, tell Jake how
you feel, baby!

Tell me you feel it!

Tell me!

Yo, what the fuck?

Come on, baby!

Come on!

12 inches.

What the fuck is going on?

God damn it.

Starting tonight, you work
around my schedule, all right?

I don't want you
using any performer

that works for me the next day.

Is that funny, is that funny?

No.

You think that's funny?
No.

Well, good, I'm glad you
suddenly have the night free,

'cause we have an
ending to write.

Cancel your shoot tonight.

So I'll tell you what's
not working for me.

We have a move about a bride

who screws the entire guest list

before her wedding

and her husband's, like,
totally cool with it.

I think Dick should be
really torn up about it.

He really...
He really loves Bliss.

What do you think?

Well, I think you type
a lot faster

without that huge
rock on your finger.

Where is it?

Why aren't you wearing it?

It was my grandmother's
engagement ring.

And I sold it at a pawn shop
to pay for my film stock.

You're kidding.

Well, I admire your passion.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go use your restroom.

What are you reading?

I'm reading your screenplay.

That's really private.

Well, so is my medicine cabinet.

I actually really liked it.

How many pages
did you read, five?

I understand Katie's dilemma.

Not trusting men after
being dumped by Ted.

Why risk heartbreak when
the reward is so small?

The truth is, I think she's
really just afraid

that she's a lousy lay

when that is most likely
not the case.

She just...

hasn't found the right match.

Where you going?

I have to put an end
to this day.

But what about our ending?

I'm all blocked up.

♪ Good night my baby

♪ You'll be sleeping

♪ While I pray

♪ The dark is fading

♪ I'll return

♪ When you awake

♪ And I can
see the stars ♪

♪ By the light
of day ♪

♪ In need
of something ♪

♪ Feel my body

♪ Levitate

♪ Whoo oh-oh-oh

Yo, Jody!

Jody, wake up! It's me, wake up!

Ow!

Jody?

Wake up, Jody.

Hi.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing here?

You forgot us meet rehearsal.

So you came
all the way over here?

Look, Jody, this is really
important to us

and we need you to focus.

We're here to act.

Are you up for this?

Yeah, come in.

Okay, this part right here,
where Katie still won't

bone Richard, even though
we know she's dying for it?

I don't get it.

That's called
delayed gratification.

More like blue balls.

I'm sure, Sindi,
there was some guy, right,

and you really liked him,

but you didn't want him to
think that you were easy,

so you played hard to get.

Katie really likes Richard.

She just thinks that things
that are worthwhile

are worth waiting for,

that the struggle in life is
what's exciting

and that if
Richard really proves

that he really cares about
her and waits...

that then he's
showing her her worth

and how special he
thinks she is.

And then, she wants
to give him everything.

Don't you wanna give
a man everything?

I do.

Every day I do that.

That's because...

you're so much more
generous than she is.

She just...

she's generous later.

You're freaking me out, Jode.

I mean, sex is awesome.

I can't believe
I get paid to do it.

Yeah.

Charlie, cue.

Action.

Oh, yeah!

Holy shit.

Just like I suspected.

It was a dream.

A very wet dream, huh?

Shut up.

I can't.

You won't let me.

You won't let Jeff either.

That man has
you pinned to a "T."

Of course, that's one
of the reasons

your falling for him, isn't it?

I wouldn't touch him
with a 10-inch pole.

It's 10-foot pole, not inch.

No doubt the man is hung,
but let's not go overboard.

Not that you'll ever find out.

Just you wait and see.

Hey.
Hey.

I watched the honeymoon
gangbang last night,

and I love
how you cut to the men

waiting for their turn.

I've never really seen it
from that perspective before.

You liked it?

Yeah, it was hot.

I thought it was hot, too.

Not that my opinion matters.

Okay, Marilyn,
you're done in there.

And I think I'm done, too.

You know how to
do this stuff? Yeah.

Good, okay.

Jode...
bye anyway.

What's with the wet spot?

What?

The wet spot on your pants?

I'm talking about your knee.

I skinned it when I fell out
of bed this morning.

Well, let me get you a Band-Aid.

We have a little scraped-knee
First-Aid kit here.

Okay.

Let's see what we got here.

Oh, yeah, that's a real doozy.

Thank you, Dr. Drake.

Or is it Drakowski?

It almost was
Dr. Drakowski.

Yeah, no kidding.

UCLA, premed.

Let me guess, gynecology?

Wow, you're relentless.

So what happened between
the world of MD

and the world of DP?

Being a doctor was
my dad's idea,

so I abandoned that
as soon as I could,

and then there was
a brief period

as a hot independent filmmaker,

which won me many awards,

no jobs and a huge
amount of debt,

which led me to my journey

into the deep, dark
underbelly of Hollywood,

the porn industry,

which wasn't all that different
from Hollywood after all.

But none of
that seemed to matter

in the eyes of my father,

who'd rather have me die
in a car accident

than become...

How'd he put it?

A sleazy pornographer.

That's a pity.

You are so talented.

Jesus Christ, Balaban.

I mean, don't you get it?

No one cares.

No one gives a shit.

And you know what?

They can all go and kiss
my fuckin' ass.

Because I've got
the money they wanna spend

and the girls they wanna f...

Thanks for the Band-Aid.

Where are you going?

If you must know, our
alma mater is having

a gathering for poor loser
film-school alum like myself.

Guess my invitation must
have been lost in the mail.

For a second there,

I was gonna
invite you to go with me.

And be sneered at by
a jury of my peers?

No thank you.

Great, I already see three guys

I went down on in film school.

That's nothing, I see like
six girls I would have

whacked off to before I met you.

Freak.
Slut.

Hi, could I have a glass
of red wine, please?

Jody Balaban.

Professor Emerich!

Hi!

My... God,
you look fantastic.

How is that Best Film Award
holding up?

It's good,
it's on my coffee table.

You know, I called
Mr. Marshall.

I told him to
keep an eye out for you.

You know, I tried calling him

and it's been really impossible.

Nothing is impossible, my dear.

Let's go to my room.

I'll call him right now.

Oh, Kathleen!

I'll be back!

Jody Balaban.

Hey, Brett.

How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

My agent's just set me up to
direct a Nike commercial.

Can you believe it?

Well, it's a start, right?

Anyway, it's better than
working the daily Grind.

Who told you?

It's a small town.

You do have to laugh
at the irony, though.

The promising Jody Balaban
cutting cock for a living.

I cannot fucking believe
that you just did that.

You royal bitch.

Your highness.

I believe you've missed a spot.

Now, why don't we cut the part
where I break your nose?

Now run along.

Unless you wanna direct
your Nike commercial

through a wired jaw.

What are you doing here?

Ah, morbid curiosity.

About who'd be here?

No.

About what you'd be wearing.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Jeff.
Hey, man.

What's he doing here? Getting the hell out
of here before...

Drakowski!

Professor Emerich.

I'm surprised to see you here.

How's the nut sack?

See, I kicked the good
professor in the balls.

When was that?

Four years ago?

Drakowski wasn't keen on
being called out

for his great contributions
to the cinematic world of porn.

Actually, I wasn't too keen
on you hitting on my wife.

Well, apparently,
the poor woman had no idea

what kind of movies

her husband actually
made for a living.

Yes, but thankfully,
you told her.

Such a waste, Drakowski.

Taking advantage of desperate
women looking for work.

Kind of like using your
credentials to fuck them

in your hotel suite, Professor?

I'll be happy to tell
Mr. Marshall

you've made quite
the career change.

Why don't you tell his
secretary I say hello?

Here you go.

So she really didn't know
you directed porn?

Yeah, it's true.

How is that possible?

I was too embarrassed to
tell her that I couldn't

make a living as
a filmmaker, so I lied.

I mean, she was content
believing I was making

a half-million dollars
a year doing industrials.

Well, what happened after
she found out?

Well, naturally, she assumed
I was lying about

everything else,
including fidelity.

Or so she told the judge.

But she's recovering
nicely now in a house

overlooking the Pacific.

I'm sorry, Jeff.

Thanks, Jody.

Are you looking for attention?

What kind of attention?

The kind you can
relish rebuffing.

The kind where
the slimy creature

from the black Jacuzzi
rises from the depths,

starts to lower your strap,

drooling over your innocent,
pert breasts

while he moves in for
the fateful kiss...

closer and closer...

and closer.

I'm just kidding
with you, Balaban.

You think I'm gonna prove
you right about

the big, bad porn director?

You think I'm gonna fall
into that trap?

Come on, you gonna
stay in there all night

or we actually gonna
get some work done?

I can't take
these games anymore.

If you don't trust me,
there's no point to

even getting married.

I have to move on.

It's a cut!

So can we move on now?

I think I need another one.

Um...

excuse me, can I talk to
you a minute?

Of course.

I know Katie is supposed to
put up a good fight and all,

but when is enough enough?

Well, that's Katie's dilemma.

She really wants to sleep
with Richard,

but she doesn't want him
to think that she's a slut.

Um... but she loves Richard

and how is it if she's acting on

her true desires,

that that makes her a slut?

If she really, really wants
to be intimate with him,

why doesn't she?

She trusts him, she loves him.

She desires him.

Why can't she just be with him?

Jody, the camera's ready.

I'm gonna do a quick
rewrite on the scene.

All right, let's rock and roll.

So I don't wanna have sex?

You do wanna have sex,

but you want her to want you
even more than you want her,

and that's how you know that
you're gonna get her,

and she's going to give in.

You gotta play hard to get
a little bit.

Okay?
That's not natural.

Rolling.

84 kilo, take five.

Action.

Are you looking for attention?

What... what kind of attention?

I don't know.

Maybe...

this kind.

Or this kind.

I'm just playing
with you, Katie.

Jeez.

You take everything
so damn seriously.

Jody...

You may now kiss the bride.

See?

It was fine for you
to be a slut.

I'm still marrying you.

Okay, everyone, that's a wrap!

That was hot, guys,
that was so great.

No, thank you.

Hey, Jody.

Hi.

I got you a wrap present.

Dick, you shouldn't have.

I...

Please, I want you to.

I made it especially for you.

It's my dick.

In a box.

I'll treasure it forever.

And there's no
balls on it, either.

It's just the shaft. I don't need 'em.

Okay.

I'm so proud of you.

Really?

When I say this,
this is the truest thing

I've ever said:

You're the best director
I've ever worked with,

and I've done over 400 movies.

Hey, Laura.

Thank you so much.

I couldn't have done this
without you.

I don't know about that,

but how do you think
it'll turn out?

A lot different than
the script I wrote,

thanks to you.

Thank you, thank you so much.

Thank you for taking me
seriously.

You're welcome.

No, I mean it.

To be given this chance,
this opportunity,

really means a lot to me
and it's really special.

Thank you.

See you at the premiere.

♪ Don't really care

♪ Who found who

Hi, honey.

It's Mommy and Daddy to wish
you a happy birthday.

We wish we could be
there to celebrate.

We love you so much.

You call us... Hurry up.

Bye, sweetheart.

Do you think she had any idea?

Please, she doesn't
even know we exist.

Surprise!

Sandwich!

Whose idea was this?

Who do you think, Balaban?

Happy birthday.

Aww.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Hey.
Hi.

So let's dance, huh?

Guys, thank you so much.

Blow out your cock!

Oh, my God.
Come on.

Why don't you make a wish?!

Let's go upstairs.

I got a little surprise
for you up on the roof.

♪ Give you a chance

Here, put this on.

Cheers.

Hey, you know what, this...

Thank you.

Hey, how...

Whoa.

What are you thinking?

That I really wanna
kiss you right now.

Well, if she's not here,

then we'll just
go back to the room.

Hello.

Hi.

Are you guys the fluffers?

No, we're the Balabans,
Jody's parents.

She's with her new boyfriend.

Jody has a boyfriend. Boyfriend, what?

Yeah, Jeff.

Jeff Drake.

Director.

Directed by Jeff Drake.

Jupiter, Mars, Uranus.

It's like a sci-fi thing.

Honey, let's go,
let's keep walking.

We'll find her desk.

Could you do a scene with...

He's not out
of his dressing room yet.

I think I'm going crazy.

I just saw my parents.

How was your flight?

Our... it was lovely.

We saw a terrific movie.

It's the...

Oh, a Ron Howard movie.

What's the name,
what was it called, honey?

It's called
"this is your fault."

It's not anybody's fault.

Why does this have to be
somebody's fault, Dad?

You tell me.

After you've paid four years
of Ivy League tuition

and two years of grad school

for your daughter, who ends up...

What?

Getting a good job,
working as an editor?

Some things aren't worth
the sacrifice.

I'm not sacrificing anything.

I saw you with that...

What's his name?

The pornographer.

Jeff.

Look, I can imagine how
this must seem to you,

but you should have
more faith in your daughter.

Would you?

If she wound up working
at a place like this?

Oh, hell no, no.

In fact, I'd use this on her.

Except she kind of likes it.

Okay, okay, let's go.

He's kidding,
he's kidding, he's kidding.

It's not funny.

That's not how you
talk to my parents.

I'm sorry.

See, I didn't know how to
speak to your parents

because I didn't
come here with any sort of

preconceptions as to
who they were.

All I know is I'm
crazy about their daughter.

She's a little quick to judge,
but no one's perfect.

What's your point?

We shouldn't be
so quick to judge you?

What, is he kidding me?

A man is what a man does.

Come on.

Why did you have to
antagonize them?

Why didn't you say anything?

Is it because a small part
of you agrees with them?

Or a big part?

This was a horrible idea and I told
you it was. Okay, okay, I was wrong.

Is that what you wanted me
to say, I'm wrong? Yes!

But did you have to
be so hard on her...

Mom, Dad, wait.

Look, he's not what you think.

He's really talented.

He's honest
and he believes in me.

How can you be so naive, Jody?

That man could give
a damn about you.

You're just
a sweet, little detour

from his jaded, perverted life.

And that's where it ends.

How can you not see that?

Dad, you're wrong.

Come on, let's go.

Mom.

Debra, get in the car.

Look at how happy she is.

What's wrong with being happy?

♪ And someday

♪ My, my, my

♪ I'll be your life...

I took your advice, Balaban.

The one with the faces.

No.

No, I'm a little drunk.

And I would...

good for you
to take advantage of me.

If you're here to apologize,

you're doing a good job.

♪ Lady

♪ I'll make you change

Jeff!

Fuck you.

Hey, stop, stop.

I thought that was you in there.

You must really think
I'm stupid.

But I'm not.

I may be a loser
at the dating game,

but I had an Ivy League
education.

Yeah, so your father boasted.

Not like most of
the people here.

I didn't drop out of Fuck Me
High at 16 to come to Grind

to edit pussy
and suck the director's dick.

I came to get what I needed
and get out.

Stop.

Before you say something
you might regret.

Like what?

Like maybe my dad was right?

Or was it your dad?

Jeff vs. Jody.

I didn't know who to root for.

Yeah?

You pulled it off.

I can't thank you enough, Irene.

No thanks necessary, honey.

I mean, I just watched
the final cut of Jeff's movie.

Excellent work.

I really think it's gonna
empower the female audience.

God, I'm such a genius
for hiring you.

What did he say about it?

Jeff, I'm not sure.

You know, he's made himself
kind of scarce this week, so...

Oh, your last check.

Here you go.

I hope you understand
that I cannot let you

edit your movie here.

Just with what's
transpired with Jeff,

it would be really bad business.

I understand.

God, it's such a shame
you two didn't just

fuck each other's lights
out and get it over with.

Like that's the answer to
all of life's problems.

It's the answer to
some of the problems.

Some pretty big ones, honey.

I need to get laid.

Who is it?

I said, who the fuck is it?

I'm sorry, it's Jody Balaban.

I was the editor.

I know who you are.

You can come in.

You've done a nice job
with Jeff's movie.

Most people just go for the gore

and you actually entice
before the payoff.

Maybe that's 'cause...

I think sex is something that's
better off when it's earned.

Or maybe you're just
a natural-born cock tease.

Hey, that's one of the best
parts of being a woman.

That and being a mother.

You're a mother?

And a wife.

Married eight years.

One beautiful son.

That's crazy.

Does your husband
know what you do?

Of course he knows what I do.

He financed my first movie.

What could I say?

He gets off watching me
have sex with other men.

As long as it's him
I make love to.

Hey, if there's one thing

you can learn from working
here at Grind, Jody,

it's to each his own.

Or her own.

You know what's funny?

I had so many conversations
with you in my head,

but you're nothing
like I expected.

You know what else is funny?

How much you respect Laura.

I'm a better actress
than you thought, huh?

♪ Take a breath
and close your eyes ♪

♪ Drifting in the sunlight

♪ It's golden

♪ And feel the rush
of the tide ♪

♪ It feels like
you're starting to fly ♪

♪ You float

♪ There she goes

♪ Where did she go?

Oh, my God.

You look so beautiful.

I'm so excited.

♪ Before you crash into
the skylight ♪

♪ You're flying

♪ I hold my breath
and close my eyes ♪

♪ The sunlight
in the summertime ♪

♪ Is cold

♪ There she goes

If you love me, you'll wait.

A relationship isn't just about sex.

Are you looking for attention?

What... what kind of attention?

♪ I'm lost

♪ Ooh I tried

♪ What I was
looking for ♪

♪ I could not find

♪ Falling
out of place ♪

♪ With little hope

♪ I thought that I could
do it all alone ♪

♪ So tell me

♪ Where to go

♪ Lead the way

♪ And I will
follow ♪

♪ Teach me

♪ All you know

♪ Lead the way

♪ And I will
follow... ♪

Please, call me anytime.

I would love to set up
a meeting at our agency.

Thank you.

Great job, Jody!

Thanks.

Ooh!

What's the matter?

Nobody came.

Everybody came.

From Grind.

Well, what'd you expect?

I mean, they're probably out
having their ass hairs

waxed or something.

I am so glad your father
didn't hear that.

Mom!

- Oh!
- Hey, Kathleen.

Oh, my baby girl.

I'm so glad you made it here.

I would not have missed
this for the world.

Did Dad come?

Jody?
Oh, there's...

Hi.

Hey, hey.

Sindi.

Where were you sitting? I was just...

Next to me.

You did a great job.

Yeah.

You too.

I can never figure this out.

I need to...

I'm so proud of you. Thank you, Dad.

Well, I'm gonna go get a drink.

My daughter, my daughter.

So what'd you think?

You are so talented
and everyone was awesome.

I can't wait to tell them.

Why didn't they come?

They're in Vegas.

Y'know, it's the AVN Awards
tomorrow night.

Oh, the Adult Video Awards.

Yeah.
Right.

Well, Jeff's up for
Best Director.

So that's exciting, right?

You guys know that
I didn't really mean to

hurt any of you, right?

And that I appreciate
you so much.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm so sorry.

I don't remember
anything about that night.

I was really wasted.

It really wasn't Jeff's fault,

'cause...

'cause he... he thought
that I was you.

So you and Jeff never...

I wish.

We've all been trying to
get in his pants for years.

I'm beginning to wonder if
he can still get it up.

What do you mean?

Jeff hasn't been with a woman

since his wife left him.

It's funny how it
works in our business.

You gotta keep it a secret

when you don't screw around.

Oh, God, I almost forgot.

This is for you.

Thanks.

Listen, I've got to
catch my plane to Vegas,

so... I'll see you
around, okay?

Okay.

I didn't open your present.

Oh, that's not from me.

It's from Jeff.

See you at the Oscars.

Live from Las Vegas, welcome
to this year's AVN Awards.

It's the biggest night
for the adult industry's

brightest stars.

Up for Best Girl-Girl:

Stormy Daniels, Jesse Jane,
Sasha Grey.

Up for Best Director:

Jeff Drake for
"Finding Bliss."

Russian superstar Kato arrived

with her costar Dick Harder,
up for Best Actor.

Up for Best Oral Sex,
Dyan Canyons

arrives with porn legends
Ron Jeremy and Jake B. Bigg.

There's Wicked's Dave O.

And welcome to this year's
AVN Awards.

This next category reminds me
of that Victor Mature quote,

"I'm no actor and I have
64 movies to prove it."

You're so immature.

Ooh...

Anyway, this year's nominees for

Best Actor in a video are...

Got ID?

Yeah.

Company ID.

Wicked, Vivid...

Grind.

Well... not anymore.

Can't let you in without
an ID, sweet tits.

Hey, Bobby.
Hi, ladies.

Can't do it.

Hi.

About time.

You better get in there.

You're gonna miss Jeff's
big speech.

They won't let me in.

Really.

And finally, for
the Best Director nominees.

We have Ryan Raven

for "Back-End Deal,"

Toby Shaft

for "Hung Jury."

And for the fifth time in a row,

Jeff Drake for "Finding Bliss,"

a film you can actually
whack off to

at an art-house
theater near you.

And the winner is...

Jeff Drake!

Jeff!

Oh, wow, wow.

Thank you, thank you so much.

It's... it's always a thrill
to be up here.

Let me start by thanking all
the hardworking people at Grind.

I couldn't have done
this without you.

Especially Irene Fox,
who is my dear friend.

Well, I'd also like to thank
the industry

for the last time.

The adult world
has been good to me,

but it's time for me to move on.

Before I do, I'd like
to say a special thanks

to a very special woman.

I'd like to thank
the star of my film,

the one, the only...

Bliss.

Everyone, this is Jody.

She was my...

Editor.

And my... Cowriter.

And...

His self-righteous,

cock-teasing...

dildo-hiding...

You had me at cock-teasing.

♪ Ooh...

♪ Found your secret

♪ The secret of life

♪ I want to
share it with you ♪

♪ Trust

♪ And you say

♪ The secret
that's deep inside ♪

♪ That magic door

♪ Inside of you

♪ Love

♪ Love

♪ Love

♪ And when you
find it ♪

♪ You will know

♪ Love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Oh love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Trust
and you'll find ♪

♪ The secret that's
deep inside ♪

♪ That magic door

♪ Inside of you

♪ Oh, oh, oh love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ And when you
find it ♪

♪ You will know

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Oh love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Yes

♪ It's a secret

♪ But it's not
really a secret ♪

♪ Because it's really
inside of us ♪

♪ It's inside everybody

♪ You've just
got to find it ♪

♪ You've just
got to find it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Love

♪ Oh love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Love

♪ Love unconditional

♪ Yes

♪ It's a secret

♪ But it's not really
a secret ♪

♪ Because it's
all inside of us ♪

♪ It's inside everybody

♪ You've just
got to find it ♪