All language subtitles for Sorry.For.Your.Loss.S01E02.Keep.Toss.Give.Away.WEBRip.x264-ION10

- I hate when people use
the word condolences.

- I hate it when people tell me
that I'm in their prayers.

- In the beginning everyone
wants to send you flowers

and then they stop calling
because they're over it

and they expect you
to be over it.

- These last
few months everything

has been stressful,
but I handled it.

- It really screwed me up too
when my husband died.

- That's not
what I was saying.

- That's exactly
what you were saying.

That my husband being dead
is making it harder

for you to stay sober.

- You know, you can get
another husband.

I can't just get
another brother.

- This is why I still don't
wanna hang out with you.

- I went to your apartment
and I stood outside the door,

but I can't go for you.

You have to show up
for yourself.

How you feel
about it doesn't matter.

What matters
is that you do it.

- Whoa.

I love it.
- Oh ho.

- Oh, my God.

I love it. I love it.
I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it.
I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it.

Okay, so my couch

would go perfectly here
and then my mom's

gonna get rid of, like,
one of her couches

and that,
that could actually go here.

- Yeah, what about my couch?
- You don't have a couch.

You have a futon.
- I love my futon.

- Well, so will the fraternity
that we donate it to.

- Aw, this mantle
is freaking rad.

I can put a rotating display
of my figures here.

- Okay, well, if you're serious
about this apartment

you can glue your toys
to the ceiling

so that they're fighting each
other in space.

- Yeah, I wouldn't use glue.
I would use Sticky Tack.

You know...
- Okay, so you're in?

- Of course.
- So you're in.

- I'm in.
- So this is our apartment.

- This is our apartment.
- This is our home.

- This is where we're supposed
to live.

This is where we're supposed
to live.

I like this, yeah!

- Yes, you could have.

- You're being irrational.
- I'm not being irrational.

You're completely...
- Are you kidding?

- Yeah, you are so...

- What,
what are you talking about?

- Oh, my God.
- Fine! Fine!

Oh, no.

Oh hey. Come here. Come here.
Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here.
Come here. Good girl.

- You know, we can take as long
as you need to do this.

If you need a few days
we can take a few days.

If you need a few weeks
we'll take a few weeks.

- Mom, she can't
do this for weeks.

- No, I'm just saying
that there's no clock.

You know,
when your father moved out...

I'm not saying that
that is the same thing as this,

of course,
but that took a month.

- That's definitely
not the same thing.

Dad moved to an apartment.
Matt moved to a casket.

- That's why I said
it wasn't the same thing.

- Okay.

How do you want this to happen?

- I... why don't we just put
everything in boxes and bags

and...

get it into storage.

- Great.
I'll start with the kitchen

So we can stop smelling
the trash and the fridge.

I can't tell if we're smelling
the trash or the fridge.

- I don't want to fight.

I'm here to help.
- But?

You said help like you were
going to follow it with a but.

- I don't want you
to rush this process

and then regret it later.

Your belongings have meaning
and they should be treated

with the respect
that they're owed.

- Okay.

So...

why don't you spend
a week in this place

respecting the objects
because if I do that

I'm going to throw myself out
a window.

- Okay.

Why don't we make
this as straightforward

as this impossible thing
can be?

Divide everything into
three piles,

keep, toss, and give away.
How does that sound?

- That sounds great.

Ten points for Gryffindor.

- You said I was Slytherin,
and it really hurt my feelings.

- Well, you know what?
Now I'm re-sorting you.

- Oh, my God.

- Are we done with regrets?

Ready?

- Okay.
- Ready?

- All right.
- Cast out the past!

- Read a book a week.

Learn to sew.

Have advice column go viral.

Run a marathon.

You're gonna do all
that this year?

- Well, I am going to try.

What'd you do?

- Leigh, don't read that.
Come on.

- What? You're just gonna
throw it in a drawer.

I see rocks every time
I'm looking for a gas bill.

- Sweetie, please.

- Be a good husband, brother,

son, friend, teacher.

- I'm gonna cry.
That's so nice.

- It is nice, but you already
are all those things.

You have to think
of actual aspirations

for your vision rock,
or else the solstice magic

will not work.

- The solstice magic
definitely will not work

if you insist on
making fun of it.

- Okay, pick a country
that you want to go to,

write it on the rock,
and then go there.

If you can't think
of a country do Iceland.

- You know, I believe
that we are all

the ages that we've ever been.

- So whenever I have

a question that I don't know
the answer to

I ask my inner child...

- Don't. What?
Stop laughing.

- I'm not, it's just.
You always say inner child

with this really serious face.

- That is because
some of the profoundest truths

of my life have come
from asking

the eight-year-old inside
of me what she really wants.

So if I were to ask
eight-year-old Matt

what he really wanted,
what would he say?

- No. No. Say what you were
gonna say.

- I wanted to make comic books
when I was that age.

Yeah, I used to...

draw and write pages
for my brother.

And I still draw; I'm okay.

- No, you're not okay,
you're amazing.

That's what you should do.

Make that your aspiration.

Create a comic this year.

- Well, I will when you give me
back my vision rock first.

- Hello?

- Hey. Come in. How are you?

- I'm good. I'm good.
- You okay?

- Thanks.
- What are you doing here?

- Your mom texted.

She told me I should come
get whatever I wanted.

Thanks again.
It was really nice of you

to think that I might want
some things

that belong to my dead brother.

Really. I mean it.
Amy, thanks.

- 'Course.

- I was gonna make you a box.

- Well, I'm here now, so...

make my own box.

- Okay.

- Um...

Where his action figures?

- Why?
- I'm gonna sell them on eBay.

- Really.

- What were you going
to do with them?

- They're in the hall closet.

- Want me to get rid of him?
- How?

- Oh yes. Do that.
- Okay.

- Hey, Leigh. Come here.
- What?

- What's this?

Is this a credit card?

- Oh, yeah.
That's um...

We... we kept that in the freezer

in case of an emergency.

- What emergency?

- We never had an emergency

that we could fix
with the credit card

so we never found out.

- Mom has the kitchen covered.

Do you want me to start
in the bedroom?

- No, that's....

I-I just, I want to do
that myself.

- Okay. I'll do the bathroom.

- Great, thank you.

- I am obsessed
with all of these.

I have no idea what
I'm going to read first.

- They won't actually let you
be an English teacher

if you suck at getting people
books for Christmas.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Okay, you're up.

- Okay.

Oh. Whoa.

This is a table for...
grading papers.

- It's a drafting table.

- Oh, wow.

Wow, no,
this is so, so cool.

- 'Cause you remember
at the solstice thing

you said that you wanted
to make your comic this year.

So I just... I thought that,
um...

it would help if you had, like,
a designated space to do it.

- Ah, that is crazy
that you remember that.

- Yeah, I take all that
inner child stuff seriously.

- Plus, unlike my mom's

past life regression bullshit,

the inner child thing
is actual psychology.

- Well, I hope
that past life stuff

is real because your mom said

she and I were Vikings,
gladiators, and something else.

Medieval assassins. I mean...

- So can I just say one more
thing about my gift?

- Oh, yes. Yeah, say it.

- I see how much you love
reading comic books.

And your art's so,
so, so, so good.

- Jeez.
- That I just think of this

as the year where you get
to put it all together.

And this is the place

where you get
to make something great.

- Thank you.

No, thank you.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

This is, seriously,

the nicest gift

I've ever gotten.

- Baby.
- Yeah?

- There's got to be some things
you want to keep.

- Oh, I don't know
what they are.

- Well...

Think about what
makes you happy.

Well, nothing makes me happy.

- Well, I know right now,

but think about a year
from now, two years from now.

What are you gonna want
to still have?

- I know that you need
to control

everything in the universe,

but can you try not to control
my feelings right now?

- You've got to stop twisting
everything that I say.

I'm trying to help.

- I know
that you're trying to help.

That's not what I meant.

- Um...

I'm gonna do a snack run.

Do you want anything?

- Yeah...

anything.

- Do you need a 20?

- Nope, I'm good. I have
the last 20 you gave me.

See you in a few.

She's been great.

- Like she's been
body snatched.

- Be nice.
- I am.

The aliens sent,
like,

the best pod person
to replace Jules.

Don't freak out.

There was Vicodin in
the medicine cabinet

from when Matt dislocated
his shoulder.

- Was?

- Yeah.

I...

I can't leave Danny
in my home alone.

- I got this.
- Okay.

Hey.

Are you...

Are you almost done in there?

What are you doing?
- Yes.

- Oh, you want his boot?
- Nah.

Just this.

You didn't know
where he kept his stash?

Or you didn't know
that he had one?

- Of course I knew.
I'm not an idiot.

Real good.

Hey.
No. No. No. No. No.

I gave him that.

- Yeah, and he's not going
to be needing it anytime soon.

- Get out of there.
- Calm down.

I don't care about
your vibrator.

Why does he have this?

- It was your dad's.

- Yeah, I know.

- Give them to me.
- Give what to you?

- Don't do this, Jules.

Leigh told me there was Vicodin
in the medicine cabinet.

Give them to me.

- I threw them out
with the rest

of Matt's bathroom stuff.

Search the trash.
It's there.

- Then what are you doing
out here?

Just seeing his toothbrush
and his toothpaste

and the towel he used last.

I don't know.

- You are allowed
to feel what you feel.

- No, I'm not actually.

Because she would say
that I was being selfish,

and that I was making it
about me, so.

- I was so focused on Leigh,

I never thought about
how hard this was gonna be

for you or for me.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

I keep thinking I'm out of...

This thing, but...

it happened a few months
before Matt died.

I had just gotten all
my transfer rejection letters

because none
of the UCs wanted me.

I went on this huge bender
at a warehouse party.

I didn't want to call you
or Leigh

'cause I knew you'd yell at me.

- I don't yell.
- You yell with your eyes.

- But I-I called Matt
to pick me up

and on the way home he said...

"What's it gonna take for you

to get your life together,
Jules?"

"Does someone have to get hurt?

Do you have to get hurt?"

And I...

I keep thinking
about him dying because...

Because that's what it took.

- Matt was
your sister's person

and we do have to be
there for her,

but he was our family too.

We're allowed
to feel heartbroken.

I can't believe
that you thought

I would choose today
to relapse of all days.

- Jesus,
today made me want to relapse.

I'm not even an addict.

- Gimme that.

You look disgusting.
- I know.

- Blow your nose.

Oh, that's disgusting.
You're disgusting.

Blow it again.

- Oh, my God.
This takes me back.

- What are you looking for?

- Just, um...

- If you just tell me
then I can help you find it

and you can go.

- I want the comic he made.

- No, you can't have that.
- Why not?

- Because it's mine.

I-I got him to make it.
- That's bullshit.

You don't deserve that comic.

You took something
that he loved

and you turned it into
a homework assignment.

- I just... I helped him
set goals

that he could get what
he wanted in life.

- And what was
that supposed to be?

See, you think you knew him,

but you really,
you really didn't

know him as well
as you thought.

I don't know what you're trying
to get at, but I...

- Okay, what is that?

- What?
- That is my shirt.

- The what... this shirt?

I've been... I've been looking
for that shirt for years.

And Matt said he lost it

and he's had it
this whole time,

and he just didn't want
to give it back.

Damn.

You know what?
Keep the comic.

Keep the shirt.

Keep whatever you want.

This is all just stuff.

Just stuff.

Hey. Hey.

- Oh, man.

Oh, wow.

What are you doing with this?

- Well, I was putting
things away

and I just thought it was one
of your random sketchbooks.

I-Matt, this is amazing.

- Okay, you weren't...
- It's so good.

- Yeah, no, you weren't
supposed to...

no one was supposed
to see this.

- Kay, well, there wasn't
a padlock on it.

So I did not know that.

Why?
What about the part

where I just told you
it was amazing?

- Oh, you... you know,
you don't really get it.

This...

This was hard enough
for me to work on

with no one knowing about it.

If you're always gonna ask
me questions

and expect progress updates,

I'm gonna be crushed under
this mountain of pressure.

- Well, I'm not going
to crush you under anything.

I'm... I'm going to be supportive
and excited.

- Yeah, well, for me that's
like the same thing.

- Can you not be mad at me?

Hey, I'm just...
I'm proud of you.

You are doing the thing
that you said you were going

to do this year.

I didn't...
I didn't run a marathon.

My column never went viral,

but you are doing your comic.

- Okay.

Okay, no, you're right.

Thank you.
- Okay.

- I'm glad you like my stuff.

- What are you doing
at my apartment?

I told you I didn't want it.

- Yeah, well, you say that now.

Maybe in a couple years
you will.

Here.

I think you were right.

I think there was...

A lot about him I didn't know.

- Did you know why he kept
a credit card in the freezer?

- No.

- Okay.

Okay.

- So...

Are you gonna give me
my shirt back?

- No. No.

I really like this shirt.

Does it still smell like him?

- Not anymore.

Bye, Danny.

["Little Marriage"
by Lia Ices]

- ♪ Ooh ooh ♪

- ♪ A year and a day ♪

♪ Could pass just as quickly ♪

♪ And I don't mind
and I don't mind ♪

- I just feel so connected to
each and every one of you.

- This Nicholas Sparks widow
at Group

put on the most
spectacular show

and everyone was
obsessed with her.

- Sounds like she's
got it figured out.

- You have my number
on the roster.

I'm totally around. You know,
maybe we could hang out or...

- Sure. I'm pretty late, yeah.

- Okay. Bye.

- Ryan and I
are engaged.

- That's fast.
- We both realized

that life is short. Why wait?

- Why did you cheat on Mom?

- Sometimes when
a person drowns,

they thrash around
so much,

they bring down anyone
trying to rescue them.