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1
00:00:01,258 --> 00:00:03,458
Great. So... I'll give you a call.
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,754
I hope you do.
3
00:00:04,923 --> 00:00:05,923
All right.
4
00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,120
Look at this.
5
00:00:09,245 --> 00:00:10,760
I just got that girl's number.
6
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,078
Check it out.
7
00:00:12,254 --> 00:00:13,054
Holly.
8
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,022
Nice.
9
00:00:14,521 --> 00:00:18,079
Girls whose names end in L-Y
are always dirty.
10
00:00:18,304 --> 00:00:19,587
Holly, Kelly,
11
00:00:19,712 --> 00:00:20,512
Carly,
12
00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:21,437
Lily.
13
00:00:23,616 --> 00:00:25,466
Oh, yeah, I know it's true.
14
00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:28,942
And don't even get me
started on girls
15
00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,947
whose names should end in Y,
but instead end in I.
16
00:00:32,215 --> 00:00:34,460
Those girls are like
roller coasters.
17
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:37,000
You got to wait in a long line,
but once you get up there,
18
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:40,130
you just hold on for dear life
and hope you don't drop your keys.
19
00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:43,209
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna call her right now.
20
00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:46,754
I'm gonna do that whole,
"Hey, remember me? It's been so long."
21
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,256
See, it's funny
because I just saw her.
22
00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:53,303
Dude, you can't call her. You have to
wait three days to call a woman.
23
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,445
That's the rule.
24
00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:58,372
That rule is completely played out.
Girls know exactly what you're doing.
25
00:00:58,497 --> 00:01:01,851
I got a new rule.
It's kind of crazy, but I call it,
26
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,146
"You like her, you call her."
27
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:07,545
I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?
I don't speak I Never Get Laid.
28
00:01:09,209 --> 00:01:11,823
The "Three Days Rule"
is insane. I mean,
29
00:01:12,194 --> 00:01:13,571
who even came up with that?
30
00:01:14,587 --> 00:01:15,387
Jesus.
31
00:01:16,568 --> 00:01:18,661
Don't do this. Not with Jesus.
32
00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:20,022
Seriously.
33
00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:22,896
Jesus started the whole
wait-three-days thing.
34
00:01:23,021 --> 00:01:26,085
He waited three days to come back
to life. It was perfect.
35
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,715
If he have only waited one day,
36
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,965
a lot of people wouldn't have
even heard that he died.
37
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,966
They'd be all,
"Hey, Jesus, what up?"
38
00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:34,453
And Jesus would probably be,
like, "What up?
39
00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,095
I died yesterday."
40
00:01:36,653 --> 00:01:37,972
And then they'd be all,
41
00:01:38,221 --> 00:01:40,181
"You look pretty alive to me, dude."
42
00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:42,795
And then Jesus would have to explain
how he was resurrected
43
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,703
and how it was a miracle.
And then, the dude would be, like,
44
00:01:45,828 --> 00:01:48,009
"Okay, whatever you say, bro."
45
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:51,277
Ancient dialogue sounds so
stilted now.
46
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,487
And he's not going to come back
on a saturday.
47
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:56,031
Everybody's busy, doing chores,
48
00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:58,766
working the loom,
trimming their beards. No.
49
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:02,019
He waits the exact
right number of days...
50
00:02:02,729 --> 00:02:03,539
Three.
51
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,625
Okay, I promise... I'll wait 3 days.
Just please stop talking.
52
00:02:07,938 --> 00:02:10,819
Plus, it's sunday,
so everyone's in church already.
53
00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:12,944
They're all in there, "Oh, no,
54
00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:14,383
Jesus is dead."
55
00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:16,998
Then, bam!
He bursts through the back door,
56
00:02:17,123 --> 00:02:19,621
runs up the aisle.
Everyone's totally psyched.
57
00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:22,696
And, FYI, that's when
he invented the high-five.
58
00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:24,264
Three days, Ted.
59
00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:26,770
We wait three days to call a woman
60
00:02:26,895 --> 00:02:29,982
because that's how long
Jesus wants us to wait.
61
00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:33,276
True story.
62
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,171
Synchro: Mickeyte
63
00:02:36,296 --> 00:02:38,500
Traduction: MiniBen314,
Eomyn et Lino72
64
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,820
Relecture: MiniBen314
Transcript: yetts.net
65
00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,747
How I Met Your Mother
4x21 - The Three Days Rule
66
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,500
par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com
67
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:49,752
Okay, fine. I promise,
68
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,754
I won't call Holly for three days.
69
00:02:52,082 --> 00:02:54,632
But I never said anything
about texting.
70
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,544
I started things off with
something cute and charming.
71
00:02:57,669 --> 00:03:01,854
"I was thinking about you, so I thought
I'd send you a little texty text."
72
00:03:01,979 --> 00:03:04,768
And the moment I hit "Send,"
I realized
73
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:06,533
it wasn't cute at all.
74
00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:09,854
It was the lamest thing
anyone has ever said to anyone.
75
00:03:09,979 --> 00:03:13,579
And the worst thing about texting
is that once you send it...
76
00:03:19,556 --> 00:03:21,340
you can never get it back.
77
00:03:21,465 --> 00:03:22,450
And then...
78
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:23,960
you wait.
79
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:27,822
And just when you've decided
never to text anyone ever again...
80
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,252
"I've been thinking about you, too,
81
00:03:31,818 --> 00:03:35,189
and how weird is it that you texted me
while I was in the bath?"
82
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,711
- What was that?
- What?
83
00:03:43,836 --> 00:03:44,989
You made a noise.
84
00:03:45,114 --> 00:03:46,684
That was my phone. I got a text.
85
00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:49,352
Not that.
You made your naked lady noise.
86
00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:50,404
What?!
87
00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:53,294
Whenever you see a naked lady,
you make the noise...
88
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,112
- I don't do that.
- Really?
89
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,541
Oh, God, sorry, Lily.
90
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,208
While the men are out hunting,
91
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,452
the women of New Guinea's
indigenous Korowai tribe
92
00:04:11,577 --> 00:04:13,544
wash their clothes in the river.
93
00:04:21,112 --> 00:04:22,712
That's totally a boob.
94
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:28,475
Is that Holly who keeps texting you?
Didn't you promise to wait three days?
95
00:04:28,645 --> 00:04:31,186
To call, yes.
Texting is totally different.
96
00:04:31,665 --> 00:04:34,732
Okay, well, just try to keep
the naked lady noises to a minimum.
97
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,901
I don't make a naked lady noise.
98
00:04:46,191 --> 00:04:49,541
Holly and I stayed up texting
until 2:00 in the morning.
99
00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:53,426
And we spent the whole next day
texting each other, too.
100
00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,603
She seemed perfect.
101
00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:00,065
Holly just told me
what she's wearing right now.
102
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,425
It is pretty hot.
103
00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:04,386
Yeah, whatever it is, I can
guarantee you she's not wearing it.
104
00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,391
She's lying to you
to make you like her.
105
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:07,723
How do you know that?
106
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:11,115
Because no woman
in the history of the world
107
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,260
is ever "just sitting around
reading architecture magazines
108
00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:15,272
in my old
109
00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:16,815
cheerleader uniform."
110
00:05:17,469 --> 00:05:20,869
Okay, maybe she's lying
about the architecture magazines.
111
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:28,911
Oh, no. This is bad.
112
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:29,879
What?
113
00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:33,164
She just sent me a text that was
clearly meant for someone else.
114
00:05:34,755 --> 00:05:38,252
"Hey, baby, I picked up some take-out
from Generro's. Be home soon."
115
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,700
Yes, this sounds bad,
but let's think about this, okay?
116
00:05:42,825 --> 00:05:44,620
It could be for a brother
117
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,387
or maybe her sick dad.
118
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,655
Scroll down.
119
00:05:49,276 --> 00:05:50,926
"And then I want you to
120
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,650
do me on the couch."
121
00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:55,742
Okay, maybe not a sick dad.
122
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,294
Or a very sick dad.
123
00:05:58,813 --> 00:05:59,925
Am I right?
124
00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:02,616
Sorry.
125
00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:08,864
What is this?
126
00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:13,242
It's just some take-out from Generro's.
I'm bringing it home for Lily.
127
00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:15,380
That's weird.
Holly just texted Ted
128
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,813
something about take-out
from Generro's.
129
00:06:19,591 --> 00:06:20,791
Wait a second.
130
00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:23,632
You sons of bitches.
131
00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:24,695
What?
132
00:06:25,476 --> 00:06:26,626
You're Holly.
133
00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:33,684
So Ted hasn't been texting
Holly at all?
134
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,652
He's been texting you two?
135
00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:38,512
We knew he'd try to call her
before the three days,
136
00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:42,359
so I swiped his phone, and I changed
her number to my work cell.
137
00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:43,625
We were just gonna
138
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,400
bust on him for calling her too soon,
but then he
139
00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:47,698
started texting her.
140
00:06:49,337 --> 00:06:50,767
"Texty text"?!
141
00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:55,376
Oh, poor, sweet Ted.
We should...
142
00:06:55,692 --> 00:06:57,542
we should tell him it's us.
143
00:06:58,104 --> 00:06:58,904
Or...
144
00:06:59,527 --> 00:07:02,377
we pretend we're Holly,
and we're in the bath.
145
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,220
Yeah, that's better.
146
00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,346
Well, that was fun.
147
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,483
- We should tell him that it's us.
- Yeah, we should.
148
00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:16,408
Or...
149
00:07:17,056 --> 00:07:19,254
we tell him our favorite color
is red,
150
00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,856
and we think the cowboy
look is very sexy.
151
00:07:22,878 --> 00:07:24,353
Yeah, that's better.
152
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:27,469
I'm wearing them right now,
153
00:07:27,594 --> 00:07:29,448
and they do look sexy.
154
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,276
- He put on the boots!
- He totally put on the boots!
155
00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:36,595
That was awesome!
156
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,582
But it's time to tell him
who he really
157
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,377
put those boots on for.
158
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:42,381
Or...
159
00:07:43,107 --> 00:07:44,957
we just took off our shirt.
160
00:07:45,747 --> 00:07:47,247
Yeah, that's better.
161
00:07:48,615 --> 00:07:50,963
You think maybe
we're wearing a black
162
00:07:51,088 --> 00:07:52,588
lace bra underneath?
163
00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:55,933
I don't think we're wearing
anything underneath.
164
00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:57,433
God, we're hot.
165
00:08:00,572 --> 00:08:03,982
Now he's only wearing
the cowboy boots! It is on!
166
00:08:04,307 --> 00:08:05,407
It is so on!
167
00:08:05,532 --> 00:08:09,032
Tell him that we're...
we're slowing slipping out of our...
168
00:08:10,961 --> 00:08:12,281
What are we doing?
169
00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,187
I think that we're
170
00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:18,496
about to have sex with Ted.
171
00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:26,463
So, you did this to him all day?
That's just mean.
172
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,045
No... it was...
actually for his own good.
173
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,130
We're protecting him
from himself. He...
174
00:08:32,255 --> 00:08:34,762
He really likes this girl.
He had that look in his eye.
175
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:38,932
Yeah, that crazy "I'm about to move
too fast and screw this up" look.
176
00:08:39,229 --> 00:08:41,732
It was actually the same look he had
on his first date with you.
177
00:08:41,857 --> 00:08:43,522
And we all remember how that went.
178
00:08:44,294 --> 00:08:45,816
I think I'm in love with you.
179
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:46,784
What?!
180
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,266
Yeah, well, I think
I was a special case.
181
00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:53,073
This Holly is no Robin Scherbatsky.
182
00:08:53,870 --> 00:08:55,640
Hey, what is the deal with her hair?
183
00:08:55,765 --> 00:08:57,029
I mean, news flash,
184
00:08:57,154 --> 00:09:00,006
they make conditioners
that don't leave a buildup.
185
00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:01,181
I'm so bad.
186
00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:04,609
Look, it's been a while since Ted
really liked someone.
187
00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:07,161
He's clearly got a lot of
crazy stored up. We just...
188
00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,082
we thought we'd get him to say
"I love you"
189
00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:11,032
before he even makes contact
with this girl.
190
00:09:11,157 --> 00:09:14,136
And you can tell it's on the way.
He's exhibiting all the telltale signs.
191
00:09:14,926 --> 00:09:16,889
One, he joked about getting married.
192
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,170
"You like architecture?
We should get married.
193
00:09:20,295 --> 00:09:21,174
Ah, ah.
194
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,892
LOL. Just kidding.
195
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:24,713
Question mark."
196
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,525
Two, he made a crazy
way-too-soon trip suggestion.
197
00:09:28,981 --> 00:09:32,638
"I like beer, too. We should
totally go to Germany together.
198
00:09:32,763 --> 00:09:33,563
LOL.
199
00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:34,488
J.K.
200
00:09:34,732 --> 00:09:35,532
LOL."
201
00:09:36,991 --> 00:09:40,537
And three, he got way
too personal way too soon.
202
00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,864
"Yeah, my parents got divorced
a couple years back.
203
00:09:43,989 --> 00:09:45,589
It was really tough.
204
00:09:45,946 --> 00:09:46,915
LOL."
205
00:09:48,184 --> 00:09:50,589
And he clearly doesn't know
what LOL means.
206
00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:53,690
But here's the real problem.
Ted wasn't saying "I love you"
207
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,427
as easily as we thought he would.
208
00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:56,796
Then we met...
209
00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:57,721
Stan.
210
00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:07,516
Why are you making
so much noise, man?
211
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:11,415
So we explained everything to him,
and when we were done,
212
00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,237
something amazing happened.
213
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:16,240
Why don't you tell Ted
that just knowing he's out there,
214
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,629
thinking about you,
215
00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,910
caring about you,
makes you feel safe?
216
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,759
So, all your fears,
all your yesterdays wash away,
217
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:27,376
and only hope remains
in the promise of his embrace.
218
00:10:30,526 --> 00:10:31,593
Go, Stan.
219
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,963
Who is this guy?
220
00:10:33,088 --> 00:10:34,738
He's a security guard
who works nights.
221
00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,596
And he eats lunch
at MacLaren's every day.
222
00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,771
- And he wasn't done.
- Not by a long shot.
223
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,739
You make me thank God
for every mistake I ever made
224
00:10:41,864 --> 00:10:45,143
because each one led me down
the path that brought me to you.
225
00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:48,480
That's like, really nice, man.
226
00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:50,399
Whatever. It's okay.
227
00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:55,788
"And when we finally come together,
I want you to hold me."
228
00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:57,647
Hold me all night.
229
00:10:57,913 --> 00:10:59,263
Stroke my hair.
230
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,493
Tell me I'm a woman
and show me you're a man.
231
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,585
Until there there was only now.
232
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:05,573
You...
233
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:06,698
and I...
234
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,405
and now.
235
00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:14,142
You want me to text that to Ted.
236
00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:15,696
I know that.
237
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:20,002
"I do not ask
of the night explanations.
238
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:21,457
I wait for it,
239
00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:23,038
and it envelops me,
240
00:11:23,163 --> 00:11:24,263
and so you
241
00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:25,552
and bread
242
00:11:25,694 --> 00:11:26,744
and light
243
00:11:26,997 --> 00:11:28,097
and shadow
244
00:11:28,222 --> 00:11:29,022
are."
245
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,106
That's Pablo Neruda.
246
00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:33,038
I don't know...
247
00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:36,406
what bread was doing in there,
but that touched me
248
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:37,367
here
249
00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:39,696
and here.
250
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,077
Well, if Ted won't say it,
251
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,052
I will.
252
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,280
I love you.
253
00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:48,999
That's cool.
254
00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:52,502
Still nothing, huh?
255
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,170
Maybe he's not in love with us.
256
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,007
How can he not be in love with us?
We're everything he's looking for.
257
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,508
I don't get men.
258
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,975
- Got to head to work.
- Will you be...
259
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,513
Will you be back?
260
00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:07,643
I'll be back when the wind
and fates and chance bring me back.
261
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:09,798
Which will be tomorrow.
262
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,396
It's cheese steak day.
263
00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:17,110
It sounds like
you were all over this guy.
264
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,809
Hope his girlfriend
didn't get jealous.
265
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,990
Did he mention a girlfriend or...?
266
00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:26,122
It was all going great
until Marshall sent Ted
267
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,414
a text meant for Lily
and ruined everything.
268
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,915
Well, it doesn't matter.
Okay? It's over now.
269
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,196
I got to get going, but here's
what's going to happen.
270
00:12:33,321 --> 00:12:35,263
You're want to call him right now,
271
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,651
tell him what you did,
and apologize.
272
00:12:37,776 --> 00:12:38,826
You got it?
273
00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:43,907
Or...
274
00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:46,264
Holly explained everything.
275
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:49,226
It was all just a misunderstanding.
Everything's great now.
276
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,244
Really?
277
00:12:50,517 --> 00:12:53,105
How did... Holly explain
her way out of that one?
278
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,629
Well, apparently,
her dumb friend Marsha
279
00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:58,275
accidentally used her phone
to text her husband Billy.
280
00:12:58,642 --> 00:12:59,992
Marsha and Billy.
281
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,429
No one sprained any muscles there.
282
00:13:03,319 --> 00:13:05,419
And now we are better than ever.
283
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,029
Look, I know this sounds crazy,
but...
284
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,287
I think I might actually be
falling for this girl.
285
00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:13,083
You're falling for Barney
and Marshall.
286
00:13:13,905 --> 00:13:14,705
What?
287
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:17,264
They didn't believe that
you could wait the three days,
288
00:13:17,389 --> 00:13:20,640
so Barney changed her number
in your phone to his work cell.
289
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,591
Holly is Barney and Marshall.
290
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,927
Wait. That whole time it was them?
291
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,889
So Holly wasn't in the bath?
292
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:34,729
Or sitting by her window, looking up
at the stars, thinking about me?
293
00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:41,132
Or lounging in her old
cheerleader uniform
294
00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,778
reading architecture magazines?
295
00:13:46,484 --> 00:13:49,253
Yeah. I don't think
they actually did those things.
296
00:13:49,378 --> 00:13:51,023
They were just at the bar.
297
00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:52,134
Right.
298
00:13:52,259 --> 00:13:53,497
But, yeah, it was them.
299
00:13:55,103 --> 00:13:56,877
- Unbelievable.
- I know.
300
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,212
So you might as well tell them
you're on to them.
301
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:01,840
Or...
302
00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:05,759
I text them something that will
really mess with their heads.
303
00:14:06,738 --> 00:14:07,781
I gotcha.
304
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,110
How about...
305
00:14:10,419 --> 00:14:12,852
"I haven't told any
of my friends yet,
306
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,187
but I only have
three months to live?"
307
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,255
Not bad.
308
00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:17,398
How about
309
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,337
"I once killed a man with a shovel,
310
00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,564
and those feelings
are creeping up again"?
311
00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:26,198
I liked that thing someone said before
about having three months to live.
312
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,571
How about,
"I never told anyone this,
313
00:14:28,696 --> 00:14:30,827
but I slept with
my best friend's mom"?
314
00:14:31,059 --> 00:14:32,177
That is good,
315
00:14:32,302 --> 00:14:35,795
but I feel like we keep coming back
to that three months to live thing.
316
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:36,720
Wait.
317
00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,034
- I think I got it.
- Oh, yeah?
318
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,506
He texted back!
319
00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:45,902
"I probably shouldn't tell you this.
320
00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:49,178
I mean we barely know each other.
321
00:14:49,303 --> 00:14:51,555
But what the hell,
I'll just say it."
322
00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:54,005
This is it, dude.
Here comes the "I love you."
323
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:56,008
I wish Stan were here.
324
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:01,284
What?
325
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,735
"I sometimes have gay dreams
about my best friend."
326
00:15:10,992 --> 00:15:13,271
"I sometimes have gay dreams
327
00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:14,829
about my best friend."
328
00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:17,894
Why in the world
would Ted text a girl
329
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:21,002
he barely knows that he sometimes
has gay dreams about me?
330
00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:23,200
Slow your roll.
331
00:15:23,349 --> 00:15:24,149
You?
332
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:26,048
He's clearly talking about me.
333
00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:28,677
Dude, it's me.
I'm his best friend.
334
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,594
Okay, one,
that has never been proven.
335
00:15:30,869 --> 00:15:33,640
Two, if anyone were to have
gay dreams about one of us,
336
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,015
it would be me.
337
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,052
I mean, look at me.
338
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:38,480
Now look at you.
339
00:15:39,058 --> 00:15:42,274
A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old
wouldn't be into that mess.
340
00:15:43,012 --> 00:15:44,328
Here's the thing, Barney.
341
00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,111
I'm snuggly.
You're not.
342
00:15:46,619 --> 00:15:50,360
Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next
to this business on a sunday morning?
343
00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:53,217
Wrapped in a comforter,
and it's raining outside,
344
00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:56,538
and there's muffins warming in the
oven. I'm cuddly, bitch. Deal with it.
345
00:15:57,888 --> 00:15:59,416
I work out every day.
346
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,053
If there is one thing
we know about Ted,
347
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:05,177
it's that he likes a nice body.
This body would rock his world.
348
00:16:05,302 --> 00:16:08,126
Ted and I have a history.
I know what he likes.
349
00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,901
There are things I could do to him
that would blow his mind...
350
00:16:14,244 --> 00:16:16,226
Why do we keep trying
to have sex with Ted?
351
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,947
I don't know. It's weird.
352
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:19,643
Crazy, right?
353
00:16:19,987 --> 00:16:22,137
Ted's having gay dreams about me.
354
00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:24,794
And by me, he means M-E,
355
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,626
Marshall Eriksen,
356
00:16:26,842 --> 00:16:28,871
star of Ted's gay dreams.
357
00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:32,580
Who cares? So Ted has gay dreams
about one of you guys.
358
00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:35,725
It's not like you
found out he has three months to live.
359
00:16:36,176 --> 00:16:37,276
That's like,
360
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:39,105
shocking, right?
361
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:41,541
Look at this guy.
362
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,169
How's it going,
best friend of 12 years?
363
00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:48,445
It's kind of weird, but...
364
00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:51,967
I had this crazy dream the other
night. It's a little embarrassing.
365
00:16:52,242 --> 00:16:54,888
You can tell us, Ted.
This is a safe space.
366
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,557
Your feelings
are perfectly natural, buddy.
367
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,360
Here's what happened.
368
00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:01,904
So I'm at...
369
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:05,234
And then I proceeded to waste
a half hour of those bastards' lives,
370
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,235
telling them about this dream I had
where I date dinner with my top five
371
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,549
favorite architects
throughout history.
372
00:17:10,674 --> 00:17:12,511
And then, at the end of the meal,
373
00:17:12,636 --> 00:17:15,857
Frank Gehry slides the check over
to I.M. Pei, and he says,
374
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,502
"Buddy, tonight,
your name is I.M. Paying."
375
00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:23,826
Buckminster Fuller
almost did a spit take.
376
00:17:25,641 --> 00:17:27,087
And then I woke up.
377
00:17:28,825 --> 00:17:30,048
So, that... that's it?
378
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:32,701
No other dreams?
379
00:17:32,826 --> 00:17:33,650
Nothing
380
00:17:33,775 --> 00:17:34,962
confusing or
381
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:35,887
erotic?
382
00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:41,954
How about this? Ted, you know how
at some point in the future,
383
00:17:42,079 --> 00:17:44,098
- machines will rise up against us?
- Sure.
384
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,673
So, the machines...
385
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,504
they've killed everybody,
and all that's left
386
00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:49,479
is you,
387
00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:51,671
me,
388
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:53,363
and Barney.
389
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,951
Which one of us would you, like...
390
00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:00,131
get with?
391
00:18:02,395 --> 00:18:03,195
And...
392
00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:06,041
why do I have to get
with one of you?
393
00:18:06,606 --> 00:18:08,073
The machines are forcing you.
394
00:18:08,198 --> 00:18:10,588
They want to watch.
That's just how they get down.
395
00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:12,776
That's a...
396
00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:16,334
That's a tough one.
I guess it would have to be...
397
00:18:19,537 --> 00:18:20,347
Holly.
398
00:18:21,904 --> 00:18:25,045
Robin told me wh you guys did. That's
why I made up the gay dreams thing.
399
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,670
Guys, this is Holly.
400
00:18:27,876 --> 00:18:30,465
And I didn't wait your precious
three days to call her.
401
00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:32,822
I knew where she worked,
so I tracked her down.
402
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:35,047
Let me ask you.
Did I call you too soon?
403
00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,388
I loved
that he called me right away.
404
00:18:37,513 --> 00:18:39,248
I found it very romantic.
405
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,893
And by the way,
I don't sit around my apartment
406
00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:45,126
reading architecture magazines
in my old cheerleader uniform.
407
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,966
I do that completely
408
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:47,891
naked.
409
00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:54,498
So... Holly and I
are going out to dinner.
410
00:18:54,623 --> 00:18:55,924
I'll meet you out front.
411
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,096
I'm sorry, buddy.
We... were just trying to help you.
412
00:19:01,361 --> 00:19:03,769
And, also, it was really fun.
413
00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:09,062
I don't need your help, okay?
I can take care of myself.
414
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,761
And, yeah, maybe...
maybe there are some girls who
415
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:16,138
wouldn't like it that I called them
right away or said things too soon, but
416
00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:18,698
guess what? Those aren't
the right girls for me.
417
00:19:19,316 --> 00:19:21,166
Maybe the right girl is the one
418
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,833
who loves that I do those things
because
419
00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,191
that's just who I am,
420
00:19:25,316 --> 00:19:28,166
and I'm not going to change because
of some stupid "Three Days Rule".
421
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:31,722
And...
422
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,464
Holly spells her name with an I.
423
00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:39,004
So I had proven that the
"Three Days Rule" was wrong,
424
00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:41,213
and I was out to dinner
with a pretty girl.
425
00:19:41,338 --> 00:19:43,788
And until right now,
I've never told anyone the truth
426
00:19:43,913 --> 00:19:45,517
about what happened on that date.
427
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:48,311
That's so funny!
I love Indie music, too.
428
00:19:48,596 --> 00:19:50,021
We should get married.
429
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,950
Just kidding.
430
00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:53,544
Or am I?
431
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:55,980
Just kidding again.
432
00:19:56,105 --> 00:19:58,155
That's it. We're totally go
on Brazil together!
433
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,490
And I went to my doctor this morning,
and he said it is
434
00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:02,451
all cleared up, so I'm good to go.
435
00:20:02,809 --> 00:20:04,327
I think I'm in love with you, Ted.
436
00:20:04,858 --> 00:20:07,580
In the end,
I didn't need to wait three days,
437
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,698
but Holly really, really did.
438
00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:12,763
Like a lot of rules,
there are times to follow them
439
00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:14,237
and times to not.
440
00:20:14,362 --> 00:20:16,112
But I will tell you this.
441
00:20:16,421 --> 00:20:18,408
When I got your mother's number,
442
00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:20,233
I called her right away.
443
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,692
Hey, fellas.
444
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,477
Aren't you working?
445
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,262
- Took the night off.
- That's great! We can all hang out!
446
00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,729
I can't. Got a date.
447
00:20:32,527 --> 00:20:33,827
You ready, baby?
448
00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:36,900
- What the...?
- Wait... Couldn't you guys just
449
00:20:37,126 --> 00:20:39,404
stay here and do your date with us?
450
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,107
Yeah, it'll be fun!
451
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,827
Look, I'm laughing!
452
00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:44,909
It's fun here!
You like magic?
453
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:47,986
Fellas, it...
it's time we said good-bye.
454
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:51,209
We shared a very special afternoon
together, and that's
455
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,792
something I will always cherish.
456
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:55,061
I'll never forget you guys.
457
00:20:55,942 --> 00:20:58,742
- Do you even know their names?
- No idea. Is the tall one Ted?
458
00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:00,995
No. That's Marshall.
He's married to Lily.
459
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,520
- You like chicken wings?
- Oh, yeah.
34142
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