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1
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In the spring of 2009,
2
00:00:01,996 --> 00:00:05,338
I've been hired to design a new
headquarters for Goliath National Bank.
3
00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:07,664
And I was eager to add
as much of my voices
4
00:00:07,789 --> 00:00:09,925
as an architect
into the plan as possible.
5
00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:11,170
Wood beams...
6
00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:13,880
bathed in natural light
in the atrium.
7
00:00:15,451 --> 00:00:17,201
They're gonna to love it!
8
00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:19,098
There was only one problem
9
00:00:19,223 --> 00:00:21,095
and his name...
was Bilson.
10
00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:22,158
Wood...
11
00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:23,573
natural light.
12
00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:28,945
Natural light reminds the workers
that there's an outside world
13
00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,330
where they had family and friends.
14
00:00:31,455 --> 00:00:32,866
We want to crash that!
15
00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:36,371
You show up in the dark,
you go home in the dark.
16
00:00:36,496 --> 00:00:39,497
You spend your whole damn day...
in the dark!
17
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:42,634
I need to hear Lily's voice.
18
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,369
Who said you could leave?
19
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:48,397
Bilson was killing
every original idea I had.
20
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,085
Then, one day
GNB took him off the project
21
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,125
to created a new task force
to oversee my designs.
22
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:55,729
Suddenly, everything changed.
23
00:00:55,854 --> 00:00:58,820
We'll have a roof top in the end
of the garden for quiet contemplation.
24
00:00:58,945 --> 00:01:00,996
We'll have a reflecting pool
in the lobby where
25
00:01:01,121 --> 00:01:03,438
local children can
come to make wishes.
26
00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:05,148
The New GNB,
27
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,956
a place of work
28
00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:09,402
that you can call "home".
29
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,279
Thank you, and...
30
00:01:13,732 --> 00:01:14,838
welcome home.
31
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,745
Everything was going great,
32
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,843
until one day, in the elevator.
33
00:01:31,348 --> 00:01:32,548
Yeah, it's Ted.
34
00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:38,257
I did not approved that change for the
blueprints for the new GNB headquarters
35
00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:41,683
which I'm the head architect,
and I'm only 30 years old.
36
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,359
I'm single, I'm not gifted charity.
37
00:01:45,484 --> 00:01:47,232
What is that has
to do with anything.
38
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,068
Goodbye, Mr. Mayor.
39
00:01:51,788 --> 00:01:54,626
You know that was a fake
phone call, don't you?
40
00:01:54,751 --> 00:01:57,624
And I also know that the new
GNB headquarters project
41
00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:59,449
was scrapped last month.
42
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,215
Nice try.
43
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,503
Traduction : MiniBen314,
Eomyn et Lino72
44
00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:07,460
Synchro : Mickeyte et MiniBen314
45
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:10,142
Relecture : MiniBen314
Transcript : Shooter
46
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:13,725
How I Met Your Mother
4x18 - Old King Clancy
47
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,969
par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com
48
00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:18,763
Check out Scarlett Johansson
at the Oscars.
49
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:22,248
If I could nail any celebrity, it would
definitely be Scarlett Johansson.
50
00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:25,654
Hot, talented, and nobody does
that many in Woody Allen's movies
51
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,626
without serious daddy's issues.
52
00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:29,816
If I could nail any celebrities,
it would be Lily.
53
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,630
She's the star of my heart.
54
00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:34,821
For me, it would be Hugh Jackman.
55
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,293
You know, I don't know, celebrities,
56
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,610
they're into some really
weird sex stuff.
57
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:40,831
Trust me.
58
00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:42,733
How would you know that?
59
00:02:44,068 --> 00:02:45,725
This is embarassing, but I...
60
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,676
I went home with a celebrity
one night.
61
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,193
Oh my God! Seriously?
62
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,105
He wanted to do this really
freaky things with me, so I left.
63
00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:57,035
That's it.
End of the story.
64
00:02:57,985 --> 00:03:01,708
Not end of the story. I need to know
who, what, when, and in where.
65
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:02,754
Spill it!
66
00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:05,722
Please settle down.
You're swallowing to much air.
67
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,747
But before you go any further,
68
00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:10,765
I'm flattered, but technically,
I'm not a celebrity.
69
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,553
Plus, for the last time,
I put the mask on as a joke.
70
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:15,862
Not you Barney.
71
00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:17,834
Who is it?
72
00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:21,576
Now you give Lily the hiccups.
73
00:03:21,864 --> 00:03:23,944
I won't tell you anything specific.
74
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,101
But, all I'll say
is that he is Canadian born,
75
00:03:27,226 --> 00:03:28,677
but you definitely know this guy.
76
00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:31,412
And he got me back to his place
by offering to show me
77
00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:33,087
a very unique collection.
78
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,631
What do you mean collection?
79
00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:37,985
You know some people collects
like stamps or coins, it's like that.
80
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,192
But I'm not telling.
81
00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:41,779
At least tell us the weird thing
he wanted to do.
82
00:03:41,904 --> 00:03:43,709
I don't know what you call it
in the States,
83
00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,378
but we have a name for it in Canada.
84
00:03:45,503 --> 00:03:47,641
Look, I've already said too much.
85
00:03:47,766 --> 00:03:51,304
So, mystery celebrity
who collects a mystery item
86
00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:54,816
asked you to do
a mystery Canadian sex act.
87
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:56,861
Tell us!
88
00:03:57,652 --> 00:03:58,852
I'll tell you.
89
00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:03,112
But only if you guess
all three parts correctly.
90
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,662
- That's just impossible.
- Exactly.
91
00:04:06,035 --> 00:04:08,236
I don't even know
any Canadian sex acts.
92
00:04:08,361 --> 00:04:09,804
You got your Sloppy Dog Sled,
93
00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:12,335
your Newfoundland Lobster Trap,
your Full Mountie.
94
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,878
How do you know all these?
95
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,896
Canadiansexacts.org,
it's bookmarked on the top right.
96
00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:18,007
Dot org?
97
00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:21,594
It's not for profit. They really wanna
just get the information out there.
98
00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:25,682
So I just had
the weirdest conversation.
99
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:29,628
This woman at GNB told me that the new
bank building was scrapped last month.
100
00:04:29,753 --> 00:04:31,229
It's crazy, right?
101
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,398
Wait, what's that look?
102
00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:35,466
- Should we tell him?
- I don't wanna tell him.
103
00:04:35,591 --> 00:04:37,713
- I think we should tell him.
- We're not telling him.
104
00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:39,658
- There was no look.
- Guys, what the hell?
105
00:04:39,783 --> 00:04:42,230
It's time that you know the truth.
A few weeks ago,
106
00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,449
Bilson called us into his office.
107
00:04:44,856 --> 00:04:47,969
We're scrapping the plan
for the new GNB headquarters.
108
00:04:48,094 --> 00:04:50,206
This recession is killing us.
109
00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:52,723
We're cutting anything
non-essential.
110
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,221
And I have a lot of
tough choices to make
111
00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:57,879
to buy courtly retreat
in Saint Croix.
112
00:04:58,672 --> 00:05:00,479
Ted is gonna be devastated.
113
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,870
Not when he hears it coming
from his best friend.
114
00:05:02,995 --> 00:05:05,132
- I have to tell him.
- I have to tell him.
115
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,222
You should tell him,
you're his best friend.
116
00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:08,507
You're his best friend.
117
00:05:08,632 --> 00:05:10,055
I'm not, you're his best friend.
118
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,355
Quiet, here he comes.
119
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,712
The white dude or the Asian fellow?
See I bearly know the guy.
120
00:05:16,855 --> 00:05:18,113
How're you doing?
121
00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:19,489
I'm frustrated.
122
00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,452
Anything innovative
I put on my designs
123
00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:23,650
Bilson just hacks out with a machete
124
00:05:23,775 --> 00:05:25,973
I hate to answer to a guy like that.
125
00:05:26,098 --> 00:05:28,797
- You should drop the project.
- You should totally drop the project.
126
00:05:28,922 --> 00:05:30,613
- It's beneath you.
- Then it's settled.
127
00:05:30,738 --> 00:05:32,714
To Ted Mosby's new chapter...
128
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,107
Are you kidding?
129
00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:36,827
They just lay off
another architect at my firm.
130
00:05:36,952 --> 00:05:38,994
Bilson is a pain sure.
But...
131
00:05:39,119 --> 00:05:41,370
without this project,
I'm probably out of job.
132
00:05:43,198 --> 00:05:45,306
It's funny that you metioned
the project, because...
133
00:05:45,431 --> 00:05:47,639
You're nailing it.
Keep up the good work buddy.
134
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,104
Your hair and teeth
look fantastic today.
135
00:05:50,229 --> 00:05:52,101
You're shining like a diamond!
136
00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:54,846
Thank you.
137
00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:56,406
I needed that.
138
00:05:56,841 --> 00:05:58,766
I'm going to head upstairs
and keep working.
139
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:02,516
I got to find a way to introduce
some wood into Bilson's dark atrium.
140
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,541
I think you know what I meant.
141
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,659
- What was that?
- What?
142
00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,199
I have a thought.
143
00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:14,959
We're paying Ted's firm for two more
months of design work no matter what,
144
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:18,175
so couldn't we just let him
keep working and not tell him?
145
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:19,664
He's had a rough year.
146
00:06:19,789 --> 00:06:22,159
Let's let the guy be happy
a little while longer.
147
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,148
What you're suggesting
is an elaborate, long-term lie
148
00:06:26,273 --> 00:06:28,351
that requires tremendous commitment.
149
00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,844
A nice guy
like you can't pull that off.
150
00:06:31,298 --> 00:06:33,518
- Sure I can.
- Lie to me right now.
151
00:06:35,273 --> 00:06:37,128
- I have a spaceship.
- What kind of fuel
152
00:06:37,253 --> 00:06:39,411
- powers your spaceship?
- I don't have a spaceship.
153
00:06:40,739 --> 00:06:43,409
Stand your ground!
If someone questions you,
154
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:46,023
distract them from the original lie
with more lies.
155
00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:48,682
Here, let me demonstrate.
I own a pony.
156
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,379
Ask me a question.
157
00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:54,573
What color is your pony?
158
00:06:54,698 --> 00:06:57,867
When I first got Dandelion,
she was a deep, chestnut brown,
159
00:06:57,992 --> 00:07:01,026
but, sadly, her stable is located
near a chemical plant,
160
00:07:01,151 --> 00:07:03,445
which contaminated the drinking water.
So over time,
161
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:06,749
she's turned a sickly, grayish
white color and
162
00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:09,387
there's nothing that
the vet can do to fix her.
163
00:07:10,227 --> 00:07:12,596
My God! I'm...
That's horrible.
164
00:07:12,721 --> 00:07:14,525
Is Dandelion going to be okay?
165
00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:18,316
You are good!
166
00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:20,690
Dandelion's not even sick, is she?
167
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:26,802
So the building's really dead
and you guys lied to me.
168
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,253
We... just did it to protect you.
169
00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:31,470
I can't believe this.
I just got screwed
170
00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:34,319
by my two best friends
and I didn't even know it.
171
00:07:36,052 --> 00:07:38,782
In Canada, that's called
a "Sneaky Snowplow."
172
00:07:43,454 --> 00:07:47,341
That building was my dream job,
and now, it's just gone.
173
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,994
We're so sorry, Ted.
174
00:07:49,409 --> 00:07:50,880
I need a drink.
175
00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:52,206
Poor Ted.
176
00:07:53,218 --> 00:07:56,267
Would I seem heartless if I switched
us back to Canadian sex acts?
177
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:58,142
I'm surprised you waited this long.
178
00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,271
What the hell is a
"Two-Hand Zamboni"?
179
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:03,120
Let's just say, the only thing
the woman is wearing
180
00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:05,234
is skates on her hands.
181
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,862
A "Manitoba Milk Bag"?
182
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,819
It's like a "Chicago Mustache,"
183
00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:12,999
but the person on the bottom
is wearing a snowsuit.
184
00:08:13,124 --> 00:08:15,369
A "Newfoundland Lobster Trap"?
185
00:08:15,657 --> 00:08:19,081
Don't know. Don't want to know.
Those Newfies are out of control.
186
00:08:19,922 --> 00:08:21,652
I'm going to make my first guess.
187
00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:24,265
But I'll only tell you if you
correctly guess the person,
188
00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:26,422
the act and the collection.
189
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,114
I'm going to go.
190
00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:29,509
Bryan Adams.
191
00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,761
He collects baseball cards,
192
00:08:32,414 --> 00:08:34,161
and he wanted to do
193
00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:35,879
a "Greasy Kayak."
194
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,176
Wayne Gretzky,
195
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,903
vintage Hot Wheels,
196
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:42,925
a "Squatting Eskimo."
197
00:08:44,227 --> 00:08:45,527
Kiefer Sutherland,
198
00:08:45,652 --> 00:08:47,809
souvenir shot glasses, and
199
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:50,028
a "Sticky Flapjack."
200
00:08:51,154 --> 00:08:52,985
That I would have done.
201
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:53,961
Wait.
202
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,056
Wait, if they pulled the plug
on the project a month ago,
203
00:08:57,181 --> 00:08:58,991
why have I been going
in once a week to meet
204
00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:01,282
with the New Headquarters
Task Force?
205
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,450
Obviously you couldn't come in
and pitch to Bilson.
206
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:07,004
We... invented the task force.
207
00:09:07,688 --> 00:09:10,549
Then it was just a question of
putting together the team.
208
00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:14,995
You know Roy Waterman,
Vice President of Capital and Risk?
209
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,509
He's actually...
210
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,908
Roy the janitor.
211
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:21,393
Excuse me, Roy. How'd you like
to make a few extra bucks?
212
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:25,135
How naked do I have to get?
213
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:29,158
Louisa Mendoza, Executive
Vice President of Assets?
214
00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:30,861
She's actually...
215
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,964
Louisa the lunch lady.
216
00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:35,394
Louisa, I need your help
with something, but
217
00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:37,221
you can't tell anybody.
218
00:09:37,346 --> 00:09:38,646
I don't speak English.
219
00:09:39,469 --> 00:09:42,171
Exactly.
This is a big secret.
220
00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:44,449
How do you say "secret" in Spanish?
221
00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:45,624
Meatballs?
222
00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:48,780
Albondigas.
223
00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:51,717
This will be our little
224
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:52,892
albondigas.
225
00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:57,029
Can I have a couple
meatballs, please
226
00:09:57,522 --> 00:10:01,308
And Arthur Nasmith, the eccentric
genius guru of corporate investments?
227
00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:03,394
He's actually...
228
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,834
Crazy Arty, 15th Street's
own one-man band.
229
00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,066
Excuse me.
Do you have a minute to talk?
230
00:10:09,445 --> 00:10:12,450
Actually, my assistant, Reginald,
makes all my appointments.
231
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,823
We rounded out the group
with a few interns
232
00:10:19,948 --> 00:10:21,752
and paid everyone 15 buks to act
233
00:10:21,877 --> 00:10:23,873
super interested in
what you were saying.
234
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,423
Reginald, get me out
of this for next week.
235
00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:36,250
That was some of the most
inspired design work
236
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,220
I've done in my entire career.
237
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,739
I was so excited.
238
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,816
Alex Trebek, a "Musty Goaltender,"
239
00:10:44,941 --> 00:10:47,097
Beanie Babies!
Damn it!
240
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,421
Wait.
241
00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:51,192
So that explains the thing
that happened with Louisa.
242
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,154
- Good job, buddy.
- Nice, nice!
243
00:10:57,494 --> 00:11:00,920
Listen, Louisa.
What are we going to do about...
244
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:02,307
this?
245
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:06,243
Don't act like you don't know
what I'm talking about.
246
00:11:06,368 --> 00:11:08,068
I know you feel it, too.
247
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,106
What the hell.
248
00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:13,894
No, I can't...
249
00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:16,592
I'm already engaged to Mr. Barney.
250
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,506
Ah, who cares...
251
00:11:18,631 --> 00:11:19,887
we live but once!
252
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:25,254
This is wrong!
253
00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:26,708
For God's sake.
254
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,583
You're on the task force!
255
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,359
Is there anything else
you want to tell me?
256
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,368
You know how you played
third base for the GNB softball team?
257
00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:41,618
There is no GNB softball team.
258
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,534
We just rented out a field,
rounded up a bunch of guys
259
00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:46,497
and told them to make you the hero.
260
00:11:47,103 --> 00:11:49,253
So my game-winning walk was a lie?
261
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,862
We're sorry, Ted, but we knew you'd
be out of work soon, and we just...
262
00:11:52,987 --> 00:11:55,511
we just wanted to make you feel good.
That's what friends do.
263
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:56,708
Lie to each other?
264
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,109
Sometimes, yeah, to protect
each other's feelings.
265
00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,166
No way! You never lie
to your friends.
266
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,633
- I would never not be honest with you.
- Really?
267
00:12:03,758 --> 00:12:06,099
What about that open mic night
at the comedy club?
268
00:12:06,817 --> 00:12:08,622
Are you like me, folks.
269
00:12:08,747 --> 00:12:12,472
Have you ever thought about how many
different kinds of fish there are?
270
00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:13,601
And...
271
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,068
the names of those fish.
272
00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:19,888
Let's... take a little ride.
273
00:12:22,231 --> 00:12:23,131
"Trout."
274
00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:25,981
Am I right?
"Sturgeon."
275
00:12:26,106 --> 00:12:27,642
I don't think so, pal.
276
00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:29,051
"Salmon."
277
00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,507
I'm going to say that again,
278
00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:32,834
salmon.
279
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,390
Who thought that
was a good idea, right?
280
00:12:35,515 --> 00:12:38,918
"Bass." This guy over here
knows what I'm talking about.
281
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,135
"Halibut."
282
00:12:41,437 --> 00:12:42,969
Thank you, good night.
283
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:48,892
- How was I?
- You were great. Really funny.
284
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,285
You killed...
285
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:53,016
everyone's Thursday night.
286
00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:55,751
Time out.
287
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,568
You didn't like the fish list?
288
00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:01,374
It was horrible!
You just read a list of fish.
289
00:13:04,933 --> 00:13:05,883
Anyway...
290
00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:08,376
you guys just proved my point, okay?
291
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:10,402
You lied to me
to protect my feelings.
292
00:13:10,527 --> 00:13:13,836
This is completely different!
I just wasted a month of my life
293
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,228
working on a dead project.
294
00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:18,158
That's time I could've spent trying
to bring my firm new business.
295
00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:20,766
Instead, I'm going to go
in there tomorrow morning.
296
00:13:20,891 --> 00:13:22,431
I'm probably going to get fired.
297
00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,830
Best case scenario,
298
00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:27,081
my boss is going to ream me out
in front of everybody.
299
00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:30,995
- Back home, we call that a Sas...
- "Saskatoon Totem Pole."
300
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,428
It's on here.
301
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,945
Good morning, lying bastards.
302
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,614
Anything you want to lie about
before I head off to work to get fired?
303
00:13:43,902 --> 00:13:45,738
- That's a nice shirt.
- You're the devil.
304
00:13:46,545 --> 00:13:48,979
What if we told you that we found you
a new project at GNB
305
00:13:49,104 --> 00:13:51,824
where you would be redesigning
part of the 20th floor?
306
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,373
If that's a lie,
it's an incredibly dull one.
307
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,764
What exactly would I be doing?
308
00:13:56,889 --> 00:13:59,463
This is the 18th floor E.T.R.
309
00:13:59,866 --> 00:14:02,014
Basically, Bilson wants a room
just like this,
310
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,759
only two stories up, on our floor.
311
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,205
Wait, what's an E.T.R.?
312
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,179
It's the Employee Transition Room.
313
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,663
What does that mean?
314
00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:11,883
It's a space where a supervisor
and an employee
315
00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:14,172
engage in a knowledge transfer about
316
00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:16,801
an impending vocational
paradigm shift.
317
00:14:17,581 --> 00:14:19,100
People get fired in here.
318
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,520
That's horrible.
319
00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,561
Why do you need a room
specifically for firing people?
320
00:14:23,686 --> 00:14:26,436
Well... GNB feels that people
need a safe,
321
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,208
secure space to deal with the news.
322
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,204
It gets pretty real in here.
323
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:22,426
So I reluctantly agreed to design
a room where people would be fired.
324
00:15:22,551 --> 00:15:24,378
But I was determined
to make it my own.
325
00:15:24,503 --> 00:15:26,584
Now, when you leave
the dismissal space,
326
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,934
you'll exit into what I'm calling
327
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:31,680
the Rebirth Tranquility Hallway.
328
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,751
Here, you'll find a
soothing oval chamber
329
00:15:36,876 --> 00:15:38,745
with a trained grief counselor.
330
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:41,182
It's right here, past the
New Beginnings Fountain.
331
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:43,866
And there you have it.
332
00:15:43,991 --> 00:15:46,456
Instead of a drab, dark prison cell,
333
00:15:47,219 --> 00:15:48,814
a nurturing womb...
334
00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,440
birthing you into a new life.
335
00:15:53,626 --> 00:15:55,273
- I love it.
- Really?
336
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,123
- Nice work, Ted.
- Thank you.
337
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,627
Can you add some of these touches to
the existing 18th floor E.T.R. as well?
338
00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:03,670
- Absolutely.
- Great.
339
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,266
Let's take a look.
340
00:16:10,031 --> 00:16:12,848
- So I'm thinking this wall...
- You're fired!
341
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,857
- What!
- I wanted this room!
342
00:16:14,982 --> 00:16:17,643
This exact room, two floors up!
343
00:16:17,952 --> 00:16:19,703
- But...
- You're fired!
344
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,971
Now, get the hell out of here.
345
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,787
Anyone from the band Rush,
346
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:37,871
"Montreal Meatpie,"
and "superhero lunch boxes."
347
00:16:40,287 --> 00:16:43,668
Rick Moranis,
"The Reverse Rick Moranis,"
348
00:16:43,991 --> 00:16:45,253
"Antique Judaic."
349
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,311
I give up.
I've been guessing
350
00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:50,718
for three days.
I'm done.
351
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,598
If that means I never get to know,
so be it.
352
00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,148
- Fine.
- Tell us!
353
00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,015
Tell us!
Tell us!
354
00:16:57,572 --> 00:16:59,269
Okay, you really want to know?
355
00:17:01,928 --> 00:17:04,977
But this information
does not leave this table.
356
00:17:06,405 --> 00:17:08,986
Oh, my, God.
I am so excited.
357
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,863
- I'm going to read it.
- Read it.
358
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,188
I'm going to read it.
Here we go.
359
00:17:15,764 --> 00:17:17,635
"The Frozen Snowshoe,
360
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,238
Old King Clancy,
361
00:17:19,614 --> 00:17:20,990
Harvey's trays."
362
00:17:24,271 --> 00:17:25,085
Right.
363
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:28,468
I don't know what any
of those words mean.
364
00:17:29,303 --> 00:17:32,009
Is one of those supposed
to be a celebrity?
365
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:33,703
Who the hell
366
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,762
is Old King Clancy?
367
00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:39,101
No, that's not the person,
that's the sex act.
368
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:43,212
It's the same as a "Sacramento
Turtleneck," except with maple syrup.
369
00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:46,523
So the celebrity was Harvey Straze?
370
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:50,027
That's what he collected.
Harvey's trays.
371
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,886
Those classic orange trays you get
whenever you eat at Harvey's?
372
00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:55,790
The restaurant?
373
00:17:55,915 --> 00:17:59,089
Come on, you're road tripping
down the Trans-Canada Highway,
374
00:17:59,214 --> 00:18:01,639
you get a hunger on
between Milverton and Wawa,
375
00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:03,781
where you gonna strap on
a feed bag, huh?
376
00:18:03,906 --> 00:18:06,297
Harvey's. Over 12,000 served!
377
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,004
So the celebrity was...
378
00:18:09,265 --> 00:18:11,256
The Frozen Snowshoe.
379
00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:15,806
Oh, my God! You guys have never
heard of The Frozen Snowshoe?
380
00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:19,088
He's only the most famous
professional wrestler in Canada.
381
00:18:19,213 --> 00:18:21,538
I met him after he defeated
382
00:18:21,663 --> 00:18:25,607
Reckless Rick Rogers in the Kamloops
Memorial Arena back in '02.
383
00:18:26,016 --> 00:18:27,523
Classic match.
384
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,873
So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe
385
00:18:31,196 --> 00:18:35,636
invited you back to his place
to look at Harvey's trays,
386
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:38,408
and asked you to do
an Old King Clancy?
387
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:39,580
Exactly.
388
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,996
And I'm serious,
you cannot tell anyone.
389
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:47,000
My hiccups are gone.
Possibly forever.
390
00:18:47,913 --> 00:18:50,340
Canada!
You did it again.
391
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:53,186
You even found a way to ruin this.
392
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,960
Why do we let you be a country?
393
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,091
Mister mister.
394
00:18:59,216 --> 00:19:02,527
Shouldn't you be upstairs
designing your big, fancy E.T.R.
395
00:19:02,652 --> 00:19:04,813
- I'm off the project.
- What?
396
00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:07,512
- Bilson fired me.
- You're kidding me.
397
00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,551
So what does this mean
for you at your firm?
398
00:19:09,676 --> 00:19:11,525
Are you going to get laid off?
399
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,944
Actually, I just quit.
400
00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:15,001
Why?
401
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:18,713
Because I can't work for big,
heartless corporate clients anymore.
402
00:19:18,838 --> 00:19:20,771
When I was pitching
to your "task force,"
403
00:19:20,896 --> 00:19:23,210
I was doing the most inspired work
of my career.
404
00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:24,394
In a way,
405
00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:27,190
you idiots reminded me
how much fun my job can be
406
00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:30,252
when I'm not answering to
the Bilsons of the world, so...
407
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,227
I quit.
408
00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:36,305
- They fired you, didn't they?
- Yes, sir.
409
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:39,984
But I got a sweet severance package
and I've made a big decision.
410
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,611
I'm going to start my own firm.
411
00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:45,136
- That's exciting.
- In this economy?
412
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,435
So you're not...
mad?
413
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:49,277
As it turns out,
414
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:50,940
I'm grateful.
415
00:19:53,263 --> 00:19:55,915
So how'd it all go down
between you and Bilson?
416
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,725
After he proposed
a vocational paradigm shift,
417
00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:01,806
I made an impromptu presentation
using a four-pronged approach
418
00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:03,549
that really brought him
to his knees.
419
00:20:03,674 --> 00:20:06,260
Hit him with a chair?
That's my boy.
420
00:20:10,493 --> 00:20:13,764
And this one, I got on the drive
from Milverton to Wawa.
421
00:20:14,889 --> 00:20:18,008
That's pretty impressive,
The Frozen Snowshoe.
422
00:20:18,313 --> 00:20:20,519
Please, we're friends.
Just call me "Shoe."
423
00:20:21,323 --> 00:20:22,436
Have a seat.
424
00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:29,047
So, Shoe...
425
00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:32,777
How would you like to give me...
426
00:20:34,528 --> 00:20:35,978
an Old King Clancy?
427
00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:41,580
I think you should go.
32418
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