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1
00:00:00,684 --> 00:00:04,253
Back in 2009, your Aunt Robin got
a job hosting a morning show
2
00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:06,450
Which meant she had
to get up kind of early.
3
00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:07,562
How early?
4
00:00:09,516 --> 00:00:10,863
'Morning everybody.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,408
So you actually doing it?
6
00:00:14,508 --> 00:00:16,807
You're actually going to work
at 2:00 a.m.?
7
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,602
I'm not doing it for me,
I'm doing it for the fans.
8
00:00:19,955 --> 00:00:22,939
Who exactly are the fans of a show
that airs at 4:00 in the morning?
9
00:00:23,605 --> 00:00:26,378
People getting up to host a show
at 5:00 in the morning.
10
00:00:26,478 --> 00:00:29,073
Meth addicts who haven't sold
their TVs yet?
11
00:00:29,173 --> 00:00:31,093
Strippers in that
messy gray area between
12
00:00:31,193 --> 00:00:33,875
getting off work and
getting their kids up for school?
13
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:35,313
Them's my peeps.
14
00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,590
All right, catch me up.
What's been going on?
15
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:38,853
You know...
16
00:00:38,953 --> 00:00:39,882
The yoozh.
17
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,916
Really, the yoozh?
18
00:00:42,765 --> 00:00:45,211
Think of the funniest thing
that has ever happened.
19
00:00:45,877 --> 00:00:47,973
- Got it.
- Now double that.
20
00:00:48,621 --> 00:00:51,234
So, a chimpanzee wearing
two texudos.
21
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:56,263
Something even funnier than that
happen's to Marshall today.
22
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,728
Okay, first of all,
there's nothing funnier than that.
23
00:00:58,828 --> 00:01:00,599
Second of all,
look it's...
24
00:01:00,856 --> 00:01:02,436
It's not that good a story.
25
00:01:02,556 --> 00:01:03,862
Come on, you guys,
26
00:01:03,982 --> 00:01:08,067
you're four young active people living
in the most exciting city on earth.
27
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,220
You're telling me you have
no stories for me?
28
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,370
What can I say?
Some weeks are just like that.
29
00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,758
It's the same thing over and over.
30
00:01:15,018 --> 00:01:16,867
A kid in my class ate some paste.
31
00:01:17,121 --> 00:01:21,122
I used deceitful means to hook up
with a less-than-intelligent girl.
32
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,055
My ex-gilfriend Karen moved to town,
it's just all the same Robin.
33
00:01:25,175 --> 00:01:26,723
Karen's in town?
34
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,980
- Oh noooo!
- You have got to be kidding me!
35
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,048
Kids, I think I've
told you about Karen.
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00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:35,148
She was my girlfriend in high-school,
and intermittently through college.
37
00:01:35,248 --> 00:01:37,226
She was beautiful, smart.
38
00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:38,874
I was madly in love with her.
39
00:01:39,184 --> 00:01:40,505
The only problem was,
40
00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:42,423
Marshall and Lily were not.
41
00:01:42,523 --> 00:01:45,619
I think it had something to do
were every time Karen opened her mouth.
42
00:01:45,719 --> 00:01:47,689
I love taht you guys live in a dorm.
43
00:01:47,789 --> 00:01:49,084
It's so American.
44
00:01:49,564 --> 00:01:52,521
It's like let's all eat baloney
sandiwches and be racist.
45
00:01:54,824 --> 00:01:57,021
Oh my God. She was such a douche.
46
00:01:57,121 --> 00:02:00,197
Dude, she was the heiress
of the Massengill fortune.
47
00:02:00,618 --> 00:02:02,105
She really wasn't that bad.
48
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,410
Of course, you think that
she turned you into one of
49
00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:06,654
her douche zombies.
50
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,858
I want to eat your brain
51
00:02:08,978 --> 00:02:12,528
but only if it's organic
and grass-fed.
52
00:02:13,931 --> 00:02:14,759
What?
53
00:02:15,474 --> 00:02:16,893
Will you pass the salt?
54
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,174
Salt?
55
00:02:19,353 --> 00:02:20,598
So bourgeois.
56
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,892
Totally.
57
00:02:26,265 --> 00:02:27,438
What's that thing?
58
00:02:28,268 --> 00:02:30,232
That's... a TV, Karen.
59
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,633
I don't watch TV.
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00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:35,847
Totally.
61
00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:40,146
You thought I actually bought
tickets to Wrestle Mania?
62
00:02:40,699 --> 00:02:42,438
I was being ironic.
63
00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:44,215
Totally.
64
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,027
I know...
65
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:48,501
that you were being ironic.
66
00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:51,658
I too...
67
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,696
I'm being ironic.
68
00:02:54,204 --> 00:02:55,622
Let's do this.
69
00:02:58,265 --> 00:02:59,076
What?
70
00:02:59,827 --> 00:03:01,920
That make up didn't
come off for a month.
71
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:05,184
I had to meet Lily's parents that way.
I've never looked like a bigger jackass.
72
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,438
Until today, tell the story...
73
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,934
Just let it go.
74
00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:12,355
Well, hold on.
Is it really funny?
75
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,862
I am not kidding you.
76
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,007
I almost don't want you to hear it,
because seriously...
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00:03:18,344 --> 00:03:20,284
for the rest of your life,
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00:03:20,707 --> 00:03:23,520
nothing else will ever be as funny
and you
79
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,997
will curse yourself for agreeing
to ever hear it in the first place.
80
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,357
But seriously, you got to hear it,
it's so funny.
81
00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:32,177
Fine.
82
00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:36,132
I was at the compagny gym this
morning, playing basketball, and
83
00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:39,595
the guys I work with can be
pretty brutal with their ridicule.
84
00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:41,599
Look at Wisniewski.
85
00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:43,167
He's gonna cry, look at him.
86
00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:47,808
I don't know. I don't think knees aren't
supposed to bend that way, I think...
87
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,368
he might have tore his ACL.
88
00:03:49,468 --> 00:03:52,586
The only thing that guy tore was
his cervix or maybe his hymen.
89
00:03:52,706 --> 00:03:54,617
Yeah, or his fallopian tube.
90
00:03:57,772 --> 00:04:00,047
I may have cleaned up
the dialogue a little bit.
91
00:04:00,147 --> 00:04:01,031
Anyways...
92
00:04:01,405 --> 00:04:04,009
I go to my duffle bag
to get out my work clothes.
93
00:04:04,109 --> 00:04:05,079
Wait, wait!
94
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,821
I want to say it...
95
00:04:07,244 --> 00:04:08,498
Fine, you say it.
96
00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:12,419
Marshall goes to his duffle bag
to get out his work clothes
97
00:04:12,624 --> 00:04:15,045
and... No, no, no, you say it.
It's funnier if you say it.
98
00:04:16,265 --> 00:04:17,498
No, let me say it!
99
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,050
No, you say it.
You say it. Say it.
100
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,203
Same time!
101
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,698
No, no, no.
You go, you go!
102
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:28,210
- I forgot...
- Marshall forgot his pants!
103
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,030
He forgot his pants.
104
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,871
Traduction : MiniBen314, Kabaka et Lino72
105
00:04:42,971 --> 00:04:45,117
Synchro : Mickeyte et MiniBen314
106
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,714
Relecture : MiniBen314
Transcript : MiniBen314 et shooter
107
00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:50,873
How I Met Your Mother
4x16 - Sorry, bro
108
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,667
par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com
109
00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,867
Marshhal forget his pants,
That's pretty funny.
110
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:01,533
It's not a chimpanzee
wearing two tuxedos.
111
00:05:02,526 --> 00:05:05,522
What? Did he...
forgot he put the first one on?
112
00:05:07,052 --> 00:05:08,445
Stupid monkey!
113
00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:12,706
So Karen in New York,
weird, right?
114
00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:15,439
Ted, you cannot get back together
with Karen.
115
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,756
I nerver said I was going to get back
together with her.
116
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:18,769
I was thinking
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00:05:18,869 --> 00:05:21,905
she's new in town, would it be the worst
thing in the world if I gave her a call?
118
00:05:22,005 --> 00:05:23,799
It wouldn't be the worst thing
in the world,
119
00:05:23,899 --> 00:05:25,402
it would be the fourth worst thing.
120
00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:28,330
Number 1, Super volcano.
Number 2, an astroid hits the Earth.
121
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:30,580
Number 3,
all footage of Evel Knievel is lost.
122
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,816
Number 4, Ted calls Karen.
123
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,810
Number 5,
Lily gets eaten by a shark.
124
00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:37,378
I'm Lily and I approve
the order of that list.
125
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,077
You don't know the whole story.
126
00:05:40,197 --> 00:05:42,481
Ted and Karen were off and on
all through college,
127
00:05:42,581 --> 00:05:44,831
and it always went the same way.
128
00:05:44,951 --> 00:05:47,680
They'd be having fun,
douching it up, and then one day...
129
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:52,151
I know you think pepperoni is fascist
and you're totally right, so I can...
130
00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:54,561
Oh, my God! Karen!
131
00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:56,939
Sorry, bro.
132
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,684
Before you say anything,
133
00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,533
I think that you should read
134
00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:03,779
Baudelaire's, "Les Fleurs Du Mal".
135
00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:11,332
So then they break up,
He would be all depressed, and
136
00:06:11,432 --> 00:06:13,258
we would wait
the appropriate amount of time
137
00:06:13,358 --> 00:06:15,497
and then we'd would tell him
how we really felt.
138
00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:17,898
- Karen and I broke up.
- We hated her!
139
00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:19,314
Bitch had to go!
140
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,538
And then Ted would build up
a head of steam
141
00:06:22,638 --> 00:06:26,969
and finally take the bus to Providence
to give Karen a piece of his mind.
142
00:06:28,184 --> 00:06:29,285
How did it go?
143
00:06:29,385 --> 00:06:30,203
Great.
144
00:06:31,147 --> 00:06:32,545
Look who's back?
145
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:40,899
And then sure enough, the whole
thing would start all over again.
146
00:06:41,851 --> 00:06:46,803
Make that 10 000 and 2 Maniacs, because
I got us Natalie Merchant tick...
147
00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:49,467
Sorry, bro.
148
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:53,895
So she would come visit you at school
and the second you turned your back
149
00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:56,507
she would bring guys
back to your dorm room?
150
00:06:56,607 --> 00:06:57,602
Respect.
151
00:06:58,347 --> 00:06:59,543
I was an idiot.
152
00:06:59,663 --> 00:07:02,321
She was my first real girlfriend,
She was madly in love with her.
153
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,927
We all did stuff we regret,
in college.
154
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,500
Junior year,
Marshall grew a soul patch,
155
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,596
wore a rasta hat, and asked
everyone to call him M.J. Smooth.
156
00:07:11,134 --> 00:07:12,938
I don't regret that for one second.
157
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,453
So you guys, absolutely
don't think I should call her?
158
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,901
- Ted, no!
- What's wrong with you?
159
00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,318
Fine I won't.
160
00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:23,172
Interristing piece of trivia,
161
00:07:23,292 --> 00:07:25,101
- I called her.
- What are you doing?
162
00:07:25,201 --> 00:07:26,528
It's the pants story.
163
00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:28,732
I can't believe you called her.
164
00:07:28,832 --> 00:07:31,197
Why don't you just ask her
to lunch while you're at it?
165
00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:34,802
Because, Lily, I'm not gonna
ask her out to lunch...
166
00:07:35,314 --> 00:07:36,195
again.
167
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:39,178
You asked her to lunch?
168
00:07:40,028 --> 00:07:42,417
Why would anyone,
want to have a lunch,
169
00:07:42,517 --> 00:07:44,653
- with their ex.
- Glad you asked, Marshall.
170
00:07:44,753 --> 00:07:47,200
There are four possible motives
behind an ex lunch.
171
00:07:47,389 --> 00:07:49,593
Number 1, they want to
get back together.
172
00:07:50,224 --> 00:07:52,262
Like my high school
boyfriend Scooter.
173
00:07:53,504 --> 00:07:54,989
Lilies, clever.
174
00:07:55,466 --> 00:07:57,810
I'm sorry I don't have
a scooter for you.
175
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,480
My God, that's funny.
176
00:08:00,956 --> 00:08:02,481
I forgot how funny you are.
177
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,859
- Where is the waiter?
- Why?
178
00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:07,468
You like waiters?
179
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,890
I can be a waiter.
180
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:13,367
I'm going to be the greatest waiter
on this earth, and then you'll love me.
181
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,188
Number 2, they want to kill you.
182
00:08:17,513 --> 00:08:19,422
Like when I had lunch with Wendy.
183
00:08:19,522 --> 00:08:21,417
I'm glad we could finally do this.
184
00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:24,154
You know, after that ninth time
you rescheduled on me?
185
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,697
I almost gave up on you.
186
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,912
But you didn't.
187
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:29,070
You just kept on trying.
188
00:08:29,827 --> 00:08:31,062
By the way...
189
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:34,236
there's something
I've been meaning to give you.
190
00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:39,053
Gun! She's got a gun!
191
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,272
It's a tie.
192
00:08:43,843 --> 00:08:47,210
Number 3, they actually do
want to give you your stuff back.
193
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,944
Like when I had lunch with Curt.
194
00:08:49,457 --> 00:08:52,255
By the way, there's something
I've been meaning to give you?
195
00:08:57,979 --> 00:09:00,512
My snub-nosed. 38 police special.
196
00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:02,606
I knew I left that somewhere.
197
00:09:03,441 --> 00:09:06,920
Every time I watch the news, I'm like,
"Hope that wasn't my gun."
198
00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:10,340
Breaking up was the right choice.
199
00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:15,762
Or number 4, to rub your face
in how great they're doing.
200
00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:18,307
Like my lunch with Nicole Barsamian.
201
00:09:18,632 --> 00:09:20,767
- Who's Nicole Barsamian?
- My ex.
202
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,103
Hello Nicole.
203
00:09:23,511 --> 00:09:25,188
You look well, Marshall.
204
00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:26,690
You look okay, I guess.
205
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,163
- I'm seing someone.
- Already?
206
00:09:30,263 --> 00:09:31,066
Who?
207
00:09:31,312 --> 00:09:34,051
Lee Roberts.
He reads at a fifth grade level.
208
00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:40,287
You have to cancel the lunch.
209
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,415
I would definitetly do that,
definitetly.
210
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:44,423
Except I already had it.
211
00:09:46,621 --> 00:09:49,105
I'm going to need to borrow
the butt of your gun.
212
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:52,112
I actually lost it again.
Can you believe that?
213
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,556
How could you break bread
with that woman?
214
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,698
It was just lunch.
And you know she doesn't eat wheat.
215
00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:04,983
We had great time, catching up.
216
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:08,023
We even laughed about
what jerks we were back then.
217
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,012
I can't believe I had a beret
for each day of the week.
218
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,989
I can't believe I had an iron-on
image of Moli�re on my backpack.
219
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:19,201
Man, we were pretentious.
220
00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:20,702
So pretentious.
221
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,136
What can I get you?
222
00:10:26,463 --> 00:10:28,206
I don't want to cause a scene
223
00:10:28,306 --> 00:10:30,651
but your wine list has
a Ch�teauneuf du Pape
224
00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:32,756
listed under the C�te de Provence.
225
00:10:33,027 --> 00:10:34,758
You might want to alert your sommelier
226
00:10:36,057 --> 00:10:37,362
And, for you?
227
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,381
I hate to go off-menu but,
can you bring us some
228
00:10:40,481 --> 00:10:43,433
brochette with
fresh mozzarella? Grazie.
229
00:10:45,953 --> 00:10:47,493
It was great.
It was great.
230
00:10:47,593 --> 00:10:50,023
There was one, weird moment,
towards the end.
231
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,497
How do you say good-bye
in those situations?
232
00:10:52,597 --> 00:10:55,772
A kiss on the cheek is too familiar,
a handshake is too formal...
233
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,833
A hug is just like
a public dry hump.
234
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,618
I think you're hugging wrong.
235
00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:04,580
- So what happenned?
- Well...
236
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,160
Schopenhauer made
a saucy little argument,
237
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:08,634
in which, he pos...
238
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:13,797
Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and
bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.
239
00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:17,134
Karen, was the first girl
I ever loved.
240
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,948
Okay? And, after the year I've had,
241
00:11:20,048 --> 00:11:22,258
I don't know, I guess,
having lunch with her just...
242
00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:26,184
remind me of what it was like to be 18
and have my whole life figured out.
243
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,172
And I would like to remind everyone,
244
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:31,023
that at least,
I was wearing pants, Marshall!
245
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,027
You can't just go changing
the subject like that!
246
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,528
The pants story.
247
00:11:36,648 --> 00:11:39,156
Pants story bomaye!
Pants story bomaye!
248
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,633
There is no story!
I had a little situation
249
00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:45,076
- so I called Lily.
- Refresh us,
250
00:11:45,176 --> 00:11:47,429
- what was that situation?
- I forgot my pants.
251
00:11:48,518 --> 00:11:50,503
What do you mean,
you forgot your pants?
252
00:11:50,603 --> 00:11:52,011
I forgot them.
253
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,899
I need you to bring me some.
254
00:11:53,999 --> 00:11:55,686
What about your spare pants?
255
00:11:55,786 --> 00:11:57,630
Last thursday, the mustard incident?
256
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:59,885
Jeez, woman, you have
the memory of a goldfish!
257
00:12:00,668 --> 00:12:02,658
You're not getting off that easy!
258
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:04,598
Marshall's pants story,
while amusing...
259
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,204
Amusing?
Try... Very amusing.
260
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:11,480
Is nothing compared to this
Karen madness. Finish your story.
261
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,066
Taht's it! It was just
one kiss in the restaurant.
262
00:12:14,648 --> 00:12:16,984
Why did you say "in the restaurant"?
263
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,737
Did you kiss somewhere else?
264
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,049
Like where?
265
00:12:20,149 --> 00:12:21,138
In a tree?
266
00:12:21,238 --> 00:12:23,872
Lily, we did not make out in a tree!
267
00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:25,510
What's with this one?
268
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,348
What did you do?
269
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,544
Ted, how could you?
270
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,487
Marshall forgot to bring
his pants to work today
271
00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:44,012
and you're still the stupidest person
at this table.
272
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,398
Okay, Lily, let's be honest.
273
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:48,386
We both know
your real motivation here,
274
00:12:48,486 --> 00:12:49,891
you hate Karen,
275
00:12:49,991 --> 00:12:51,687
because, she lingered.
276
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,563
You son of a bitch!
277
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:55,633
What do you mean, she lingered?
278
00:12:55,753 --> 00:12:58,503
February 5, 1998.
279
00:12:58,603 --> 00:12:59,736
I was painting.
280
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:03,573
Sorry, I...
281
00:13:04,473 --> 00:13:05,819
Sorry... I...
282
00:13:10,577 --> 00:13:11,497
You know...
283
00:13:11,597 --> 00:13:14,652
Thaht color palette is a bit
derivative of early Van Gogh,
284
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,948
don't you think?
285
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:23,300
Cheat on Ted, criticize my painting,
whatever that's your business.
286
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,891
But I catch you,
287
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:28,688
peeping on my man's junk,
and you linger!
288
00:13:29,354 --> 00:13:31,181
You gots to get got!
289
00:13:31,881 --> 00:13:33,771
The game is the game.
290
00:13:34,745 --> 00:13:37,064
In Karen's defense,
I had just worked out.
291
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,239
Why did you have to paint
Marshall nude anyway?
292
00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:42,275
Because he ate my bowl of fruit.
293
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,566
But the point is, Karen,
294
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,296
is a dirty linger
295
00:13:46,516 --> 00:13:48,952
and you cannot bring
her back into our lives!
296
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,392
Relax! It was just that one night!
297
00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:53,623
And the next three after that.
And one morning.
298
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:57,043
But at least,
I had pants on, Marshall.
299
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:58,837
Although, actually, I didn't.
300
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,131
Wait. This happen in our appartment?
301
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,242
Where was I?
302
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,985
You know, those sleeping pills you're
303
00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:05,865
taking to keep on
your crazy new schedule?
304
00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:08,018
I think they're stronger
than you realize.
305
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:17,282
La Fontaine gets
the puck to Turgeon.
306
00:14:17,515 --> 00:14:18,949
Turgeon shoots.
307
00:14:19,596 --> 00:14:20,785
Glove save!
308
00:14:22,285 --> 00:14:23,841
Hey, Ted.
Hey, Lily.
309
00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,778
Don't worry, I won't tell Marshall.
310
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:30,399
I'm gonna grab a beer, you want one?
311
00:14:34,838 --> 00:14:35,639
Beer!
312
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,733
I'll start decanting the Bordeaux.
313
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,741
Sure it's fun to look back at a time
314
00:14:47,841 --> 00:14:50,680
when you were a fresh-faced
farm girl with a virgin's glow.
315
00:14:51,526 --> 00:14:54,822
But all that stuff,
Ohio, Karen, college?
316
00:14:54,922 --> 00:14:56,474
All that was B.S.
317
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,979
Before Stinson.
318
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,357
Now, your life is awesome!
I mean, yeah,
319
00:15:01,457 --> 00:15:04,625
you still live with your ex-girlfriend
which is ridiculous.
320
00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:07,555
Your Laser Tag chops
are almost nonexistent.
321
00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,244
And your wardrobe!
322
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:10,540
It's like...
323
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,625
what, are you allergic to quality
fabrics? Seriously Ted, shape up!
324
00:15:16,662 --> 00:15:18,605
What were we talking about?
325
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,662
So what's next with this broad?
326
00:15:20,762 --> 00:15:23,169
Please, the story is already written.
327
00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:26,071
Ted is Charlie Brown,
trying to kick the football
328
00:15:26,171 --> 00:15:30,053
and Karen's Lucy, who pulls it away at
the last second and has sex with it.
329
00:15:31,593 --> 00:15:33,056
You guys know what I mean.
330
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,937
Ted's gonna fall in love and then
Karen's gonna cheat on him
331
00:15:36,037 --> 00:15:37,885
with some meathead who's like
332
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:39,951
Sorry, bro.
333
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,453
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
334
00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:45,828
You must have left the right answer
in your pants Marshall,
335
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,717
cause that's exactly
what didn't happen.
336
00:15:47,817 --> 00:15:49,298
You guys, here' what happenned.
337
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,621
One afternoon,
we were at Karen's place...
338
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,376
Oh, my God!
339
00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,451
How could you?
340
00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,099
Sorry, bro.
341
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:09,509
So this time, the meathead
Karen was cheating with...
342
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,599
Was me.
343
00:16:12,189 --> 00:16:12,861
Me.
344
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,933
Remember that time
Marshall forgot his pants?
345
00:16:17,305 --> 00:16:20,495
You quit trying to change the subject.
You crossed the line.
346
00:16:20,615 --> 00:16:24,644
You are complicit in breaking
some poor guy's heart. And you,
347
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,543
you of all people know
exactly how that feels.
348
00:16:29,171 --> 00:16:31,041
You really don't want to tell
the pants story?
349
00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:32,813
- What?
- Pants, pants...
350
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:35,386
Fine!
351
00:16:36,922 --> 00:16:39,587
Lily came down to the office
to bring me my pants...
352
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,591
- Why did she have to do that?
- Because I forgot my pants.
353
00:16:44,252 --> 00:16:45,746
What are you doing here?
354
00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:47,672
I'm here to give Marshall something.
355
00:16:48,891 --> 00:16:52,163
Here to give him something.
Gotcha. Nice.
356
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:55,221
But I'm in a hurry.
Can I just give it to you?
357
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,680
Sure.
358
00:17:00,155 --> 00:17:02,354
And then you'll give it to him?
359
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,693
Wait. I don't know about all that.
360
00:17:05,530 --> 00:17:07,958
I mean,
yours would have to be really good.
361
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:11,808
- What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
362
00:17:11,928 --> 00:17:15,659
Marshall forgot his pants,
so I'm bringing him a new pair.
363
00:17:17,576 --> 00:17:19,063
Marshall forgot his pants.
364
00:17:19,481 --> 00:17:22,268
It's a good thing that you came by
because he has a really
365
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:25,842
important meeting today,
and it would be pretty embarrassing
366
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:30,582
and not at all funny if he were
to show up not wearing pants.
367
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,419
- I'll make sure he gets these.
- Great. Thanks.
368
00:17:36,332 --> 00:17:38,337
And you didn't give him his pants.
369
00:17:40,647 --> 00:17:45,002
Of course I gave him his pants.
I gave Lily my word. My word is oak.
370
00:17:45,889 --> 00:17:48,702
Though I did make some alterations.
371
00:17:55,155 --> 00:17:58,432
Now, as you'll see on page 44
of the contract...
372
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,412
When did you join AC/DC?
373
00:18:04,902 --> 00:18:07,524
Now, can we please just turn
to page 44 of the contract.
374
00:18:08,615 --> 00:18:11,559
I think the Oliver Twist auditions
are down the hall!
375
00:18:15,759 --> 00:18:19,011
Please, sir, may I have some more...
pants?
376
00:18:27,642 --> 00:18:28,857
More pan...
377
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,567
That's it? That's the whole story?
378
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,470
- So what happened with Karen?
- I'll finish it for you.
379
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:44,990
Ted left without saying anything and
Karen got exactly what she wanted.
380
00:18:46,471 --> 00:18:47,512
Not this time.
381
00:18:48,412 --> 00:18:50,097
You have a boyfriend?
382
00:18:50,288 --> 00:18:52,176
We've been drifting
apart for a long time.
383
00:18:52,296 --> 00:18:54,547
I've been meaning to
break up with him.
384
00:18:54,808 --> 00:18:56,259
You are unbelievable.
385
00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:57,692
You don't have the guts
386
00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,820
to break up with someone
like a decent human being,
387
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,389
so instead you pull this crap.
388
00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:05,336
You're right.
389
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:08,036
I'm great with books.
390
00:19:08,634 --> 00:19:09,977
I'm great with art.
391
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,929
I'm great with
identifying French wines
392
00:19:13,049 --> 00:19:16,039
from within a mile of where
the grapes are grown. But...
393
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,396
I'm really bad when it comes
to looking someone in the eye
394
00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,981
and telling them the truth
about how I feel.
395
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:24,243
We're both bad at that. But...
396
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,884
I think we both need to change. So,
why don't I go first?
397
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,460
You're a really hurtful
and reckless person, and
398
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:36,162
I never want to see you
or speak to you again.
399
00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:38,538
Au revoir.
400
00:19:39,885 --> 00:19:40,687
Wait.
401
00:19:44,728 --> 00:19:45,724
Actually,
402
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,895
"au revoir"means "until
we see each other again".
403
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,761
So, I'm assuming that you mean
404
00:19:52,136 --> 00:19:53,390
we will in fact
405
00:19:53,699 --> 00:19:55,140
see each other again?
406
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,183
Sorry, bro.
407
00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:05,928
I am impressed with you.
408
00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:08,820
You, too, Marshall.
Have you been wearing those all day?
409
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,567
They show off my calves.
410
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,291
Pants story. Tell it again.
411
00:20:15,604 --> 00:20:17,632
Maybe it was good you called Karen.
412
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,809
It definitely was.
And not just for me, but for her, too.
413
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,823
Later that night,
she sat down with Jerry,
414
00:20:22,943 --> 00:20:25,473
and she had the break-up talk
she always avoided with me.
415
00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:27,145
So you see, kids,
416
00:20:27,265 --> 00:20:29,929
sometimes when you have
to have a tough conversation,
417
00:20:30,049 --> 00:20:31,570
the best thing to do...
418
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,037
Wait...
419
00:20:33,157 --> 00:20:34,181
a second.
420
00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:37,791
You said you were never gonna talk
to Karen again, right?
421
00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:41,486
Then how do you know
she took your advice?
422
00:20:44,984 --> 00:20:46,204
Well, about that...
423
00:20:46,304 --> 00:20:49,180
After she broke up with that dude, she
called me, we went out, we hooked up,
424
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,795
we've been dating ever since.
We're really seeing eye to eye,
425
00:20:51,895 --> 00:20:55,229
it just feels different somehow.
Here she comes now. Be cool!
32478
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