All language subtitles for How.I.Met.Your.Mother.S04E04.720p.HDTV.ReEnc-Max

Barney is crazy if he thinks
this is gonna work.

- I think it's gonna work.
- I hope it doesn't work.

Here he comes.

- You there, what's your name?
- Excuse me?

Your name, woman,
what's your name?!

- Cindy.
- I knew it.

You're the Cindy,
the one who can change everything,

or spell our inevitable doom.

Now listen to me, Cindy.

I am Barney Stinson,

and I am on an urgent mission
from the future.

The future?

The future,
and I can prove it to you.

In exactly four seconds,

the woman at that booth
is going to slap that man.

What the hell?

In a few minutes,

the young me from your time
is going to come through that door.

Now, Cindy,
I know this sounds insane,

but in order to save the planet,

You need to sleep with him tonight.

What?

Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight,
in whatever way he wants it,

or he won't be able
to find the solution

to global warming
that saves the human race.

- What are you talking about?
- I have no time to explain.

I have to get back
to the reality accelerator

before the vortex closes.

Only you can save us, Cindy.

I must away!

Okay, guys,
the movers are coming in 14 hours.

We gotta get back upstairs
and finish packing.

You guys still aren't finished packing?

How is this taking so long?

Hey, all the great memories

of our 20s took place
in that apartment.

It's not like throwing stuff in a box.

You start to reminisce.

Not me. The key?

Throw stuff out and never look back.

I'm moving to Japan.
It took me a half hour to pack.

A half hour?

Well, it would have
taken me 20 minutes,

but a friend called me in tears.

Moving is really emotional, okay?

It is.

I mean, everything is changing.

I'm gonna be living in New Jersey
with Stella,

you guys will be in your new place.

You're starting a new job in Tokyo.

It's the end of an era.

I think we should have a toast,
but not our usual crap.

Hey... Wendy, your most
expensive bottle of scotch.

That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna,
and it's $2,500.

Excellent.
A bottle of that with beer chasers,

and what do you think,
cancel the scotch?

Vodka rocks.

It's not gonna work.

Oh, my God!

You're...

Oh, my God!

Can I buy you a drink?

I suppose I have time
for one drink and...

45 minutes to an hour
of some other activity,

but after that,
I have to get back to

a top-secret research project
I'm working on.

Global warming?

My God, how did you know that?

Traduction : MiniBen314,
Eomyn, Spiff94 et Lino72

Synchro : Mickeyte

Relecture : MiniBen314
Transcript : www.shooter.cn

How I Met Your Mother
4x04 - Intervention

par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com

Hey, look at this.

A photo from the first day
we moved into this place.

So many great memories.

See? That is exactly the type of crap
you should be trashing.

So you don't keep any photos?

No, they're like
love letters or yearbooks

or someone's ashes,
they just take up space.

Besides, Stella's not gonna let you
keep half of this junk.

Why wouldn't she?

Ted, oh, sweetie.

Okay, here's the thing that guys

only learn after they move in
with a woman.

All of your stuff is stupid.

Like what?

Like anything you bought
at a Renaissance faire.

There's not enough
mead in the world

to make me get rid of my flail.

Since we're clearly not getting
our security deposit back,

I thought maybe
you could reimburse me for my half.

Wait a second, why should I
have to pay more than you?

Because you treated
this apartment the way

John Bonham treated
his central nervous system.

That's not true.

Exhibit a.

What's that?

A 1986 world book encyclopaedia.

It's exactly the one I grew up with.

Encyclopaedia?

You think it should be pronounced
encyclo-pee-dia.

It's a common mistake.

But if you look at that squished together
"ae" symbol in this here Encyclopaedia,

you'll learn that it's a ligature

derived from the anglo-saxon rune...

You know,
you're gonna have to paedia for that.

But you never did...

and then,
there's exhibit b.

Good morrow, fair gentles.

Look what I won
at the renaissance faire.

And you're also responsible
for any damage

Robin did when she was your girlfriend.

What damage did I cause?

Do you remember that night
when you drank the 12'er of Molson

and you got all super canadian?

Stanley cup, game six A.

The Rangers are about to be sorry

They ever played shinny
with the Canucks.

- Hey, hey, Robin.
- Yeah?

I'll give you 20 bucks if you
can shoot it through this front door.

You're nuttier than
a Tim Horton's maple log.

Timmy ho!

That's it, Robin.
Give me the stick.

I'll give you summer teeth.

Some are here, some are there.

Robin, give me the stick.

Take off,

- hoser.
- That's it!

Scrap?! I'll scrap!

- Guys, come on!
- For America.

All right, break it, break it up!

Ted, no!

You never break up
a girl fight!

Never!

Entirely Barney's fault.

As, by the way, is the big
scorch mark over the fireplace.

Kids, to understand the story
of the scorch mark,

I first need to tell you the story of

the intervention
for our friend Stewart.

What's going on?

Stewart, this is an intervention.

The alcohol changes you, Stewart.

It makes you a different person.

And I'm in love
with the man that I married.

Thank you.

This is just the push I need.

I love you guys.

Hey, hey! There's the birthday boy.

Time to let the party monster out
of its cage, Stewie!

Come on, buddy.

People don't want to see
Bruce Banner, dude.

They want to see the hulk.

Hulk, hulk, hulk... what?

That's what I get for skimming
the e-vite.

Later that day, we celebrated
our first successful intervention.

I am really proud of us
for helping Stewart.

Yeah, what an amazing
honest, human moment.

I agree. Yay us.

Marshall, are you really
gonna keep wearing that hat?

Yeah, it's been two weeks, Marshall.

Two awesome weeks...

And heck, yeah,
I'm gonna keep wearing it.

the next day

Marshall,

this is an intervention.

It's about the hat.

I have it under control, okay?

I can take it off
whenever I want to.

Dear Marshall,

I do not like that stupid hat.

I want to beat it with a bat.

Or maybe stab it with a fork.

It makes you look like such a dork.

After that,

Interventions became a pretty
regular thing around our apartment.

Cor blimey.

This is a nice bloody surprise.
What's this about then?

Lily...

It's about the weird
fake english accent.

Bollocks.

Spray tan?

They reel you in with a coupon,
and then you just get hooked.

We know, sweetie, we know.

This is a new sweater.

What?

The magic tricks.

Specifically, those involving fire.

Magic tricks?

Guys, interventions
are supposed to help people,

not attack every little thing
you don't like about them.

I'm sorry, but
that really steams me.

That really burns me up!

I mean, I am filled
with a white-hot rage!

Thank you.

Oh, shoot.
I smell hair! I smell hair!

And that's the story
of the scorch mark.

Wait, that's weird.

When I was going through the closet, I

thought I saw the intervention banner.

So?

So, the banner burned up.
Why is there a new one?

And there are sealed letters here
from all of you that say "Ted."

Were you guys planning
an intervention for me?

That... that was stupid.

Yeah, just, just forget about that.

What was it for? The crocs?

- The hair product?
- Not Stella.

Oh, my God,
this was about Stella.

I just said "not Stella."

So maybe it was about
your poor listening skills, Ted.

- What?
- It's out of control. see?

You guys don't think
I should marry Stella?

You guys don't think
I should marry Stella?

Ted, we do.

We're all really happy for you.

Yeah. Like I said,
it was stupid.

Well, obviously,
it wasn't,

Because we agreed not to have
any more stupid interventions

at our intervention intervention.

We're having too many interventions.

So, what was your big,
serious problem with me and Stella?

Yes!

Yes! in everyone's face!

You all said the "future barney" thing
wouldn't work.

You told me I was crazy.

My shrink told me I was crazy.

Well, who's the narcissist
with severe attachment disorder now,

Dr. Grossbard?!

Intervention banner?
What's that for?

"Ted, I cannot stand idly by..."

You've just been carrying that around?

Please, Ted?

"I cannot stand idly by
while you make

the biggest mistake any man can make...

getting married.

"mark my words, this whole thing
is gonna go up in flames!"

Damn!

I put the flame cue too early.

I had so many more
important things to say, and...

The point is, Ted,

marriage is stupid.

Every year, there are a million new

hot 22-year-olds walking into bars,

and call me "glass half full,"

but I think they're getting dumber.

Come on, Barney,

even you aren't still gonna be
hitting on

22-year-olds when you're 80.

- I accept that challenge.
- What challenge?

To prove to you

that I will be exactly
this awesome when I'm 80,

I will hook up with a 22-year-old

while in my old-man makeup.

I didn't remotely challenge
you to that.

I mean, I definitely want to see it.

But I didn't remotely challenge
you to that.

I want to hear the other letters.

Ted, this is ridiculous.

We changed our minds.

And suppose you change them back?

Lily, come on, let's hear yours.

"Gilbert's reading skills
have improved drastically since..."

Wait,

this is a letter I meant to send home
with one of my kindergarteners.

Gilbert,

are things moving too fast

between you and a girl named Stella?

I wish.

Robin, could I hear yours?

"Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia,
not 'encyclo-pay-dia.

why do you always say things
in the most pretentious way possible?

It makes you sound douchey

and that's 'douchey,
not 'douch-ay.'"

Yeah, you already read that one
at my pronunciation intervention.

Where's the letter about Stella?

I didn't write one...
I'm your ex-girlfriend.

I figured anything I said on the subject
would sound catty.

Plus, I'm hotter than her,
so who cares?

Marshall?

Dude, it's water under
the bridge.

- Please.
- and we just...

"Dear Ted,

Stella seems like a wonderful person.

But you don't know
her well enough to get married,

you certainly don't know her
well enough to

commit to raising
a seven-year-old with her.

you're not doing her,

her child or yourself any favors
by rushing into this.

Just give it some more time."

Dude, that was
months ago, all right?

That was before we got to know Stella
and see how

awesome she is
and what a great couple you guys are.

That's why we decided not
to even have that intervention.

Thank you.

Because I really need you guys
to be on board with this.

And we are.

And we hope
you're not mad at us.

Course not.

I mean, it's not like what
you said was crazy.

You had a lot of valid concerns.

Yeah, but concerns
we have completely moved on from.

But you had a point.

I mean, this whole thing has moved
pretty fast.

Well, you know what?

Maybe that's because...

when it's right,
you just know.

Yeah, I guess,
but-but we are still,

you know,
getting to know each other.

And, Lily, maybe you're right.

Maybe Stella won't like any
of my stuff.

Like the robot cookie jar.

This was, like,
the first thing we bought

for this place, remember?

Of course I do.

Marshall,

my sensors indicate
that your pecan sandy levels

are dangerously low.

My collection of James Bond movies.

Remember? We watched them all
in order, and then...

Lily spoke in that weird english accent
for, like, the next month?

- It was sophisticated.
- No.

My signed Bernie Kosar cleats.

My elephant lamp.

The english phone booth.

My sombrero!

Ted, what are you doing?

Unpacking.
I'm never leaving this apartment

Ted, stop unpacking.

You're just freaking out.

I'm not ready
for all the responsibility,

and I'm certainly not ready to be
a step-dad

to a seven-year-old.

I mean, if I get married
and move to the suburbs,

in the blink of an eye,
I've become an old man!

Why, hello, young lady.

You want a butterscotch candy?

What do you mean,
"nothing in common"?

We're both seniors.

You're cute.

How old are you?

83.

How old are you?

31.

Okay, Ted has officially snapped.

There are moving men coming
in ten hours.

His fiance is waiting for him
in New Jersey.

We have to do something.

I got this.

Hey, Bud.

Why don't you come here for a minute.

What?

Look, I want you to know
this is all totally normal.

Big transitions can be scary, and
cold feet...

well they're just part of the deal.

So... how about you give me the knife?

Give me the knife.

Come on.

So I can start unpacking, too.

I'm staying here right by your side
forever, buddy!

Marshall!

Lily, our lives have been good here.

That's why we've been putting off
packing.

Because subconsciously,

we both know that it would be
stupid to leave.

It's safe and warm here. There's a...

a bar downstairs,
and a cookie robot in the kitchen.

This is my home,
and I'm never leaving!

Listen to you!

You sound like that fat,
dweeby kid at camp.

"mom, dad, I want to come home.

The cool kids are playing keep-away
with my inhaler."

I can't believe my dad
read that letter at our wedding.

Marshall, you can't do this to Lily.

Yes, I know your new place
has had some problems,

with the slanted floors and
the nearby sewage treatment plant, but

you're gonna turn it into a great home.

Tell him, Lily.

It's a black hole
where dreams go to die.

I'm not moving, either.

- Oh, come on!
- Yes!

Okay, you guys finish unpacking.

I'm gonna go bake some cookies
to fill r2-sweet tooth.

Oh, my god, look at you cowards!

So afraid of any kind of change.

So terrified of anything new.

So desperate

to cling to anything
comfortable and familiar.

I can't move to Japan.

What was I thinking?

It's so far away.
And I don't speak the language.

I didn't even have any good pictures
of you guys.

Sweetie.

Everybody says
change is so great, right?

But what's so great about change?

Hey, who wants to walk down
to our same old bar,

sit in our regular booth
and order the usual?!

Yeah! The usual! My favorite!

Oh, my god.

Well, well, well.

I believe someone owes me $200.

Barney, this was never a bet...
nobody...

This proves that I will be this awesome
when I'm 80.

Arthritis five.

I'm moving to New Jersey.

What?

And you and Marshall should move
to your new place,

and Robin should go to Japan.

Why?

Because we're gonna get older
whether we like it or not,

So the only question is whether
we want to get on with our lives

or desperately cling to the past
and end up like that.

You mean awesome?

I'm 80, dude,
and I'm making out with a 22-year-old.

Take me to your place, cheri.

I want to see your world war 2 medals.

In a minute, mon petite.

All right, so that doesn't count.

What? why?

She's french... that's like
playing tennis with the net down.

You know what?

I'll cover the security deposit.

I'm glad to, because...

Every dent in that place represents
a memory that I'll cherish forever.

but on one condition.

We all put aside ten bucks
every week for the next year,

And we come back here
and we buy that 50-year-old scotch,

And we toast the incredible
life-changing year we've all had.

Get out of our booth.

Me with my new family,

Marshall and Lily
in their new apartment,

and Robin

as the number one english-speaking
journalist in the Pacific rim,

visiting us here in New York
to celebrate this day.

The day we closed
an incredible chapter in our lives,

only to open up a new one.

- I think I left my cell...
- Get out of here.

And one year later,
that's exactly what we did.

And so let's raise a glass
of $2,500 scotch

to one hell of a year.

Amazing.

That's unbelievable.

It's kind of smoky,
with a hint of aged cedar and...

do you guys taste the difference
twince vice and...

- ten-dollar scotch?
- Not at all. no difference.

I want to cut mine with red bull.

Wendy, can you take a picture?

A lot of things
did change that year,

but some things
stayed the same.

So... what do you say
we move this party upstairs

- to the apartement?
- Yeah. Great idea.

What the...?

Barney, this is an intervention.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

All right, enough with
the "old man" bit.

What about the old sand pit?

Let it go.

"let it snow"?

I love that old ditty!

I'm getting my flail.

You're setting sail?