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1
00:00:02,267 --> 00:00:05,267
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:08,501
( singing in native language )
3
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,501
Everybody sing.
4
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,767
Hey, Bobby...
5
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,000
Hey. How come
you look so happy?
6
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,300
You know, this really strange
thing happened to me last night.
7
00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:24,200
I called you up
to see if you wanted
8
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,934
to go out for a
beer or something
9
00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,267
and you weren't home.
Right.
10
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:30,267
I talked to this girl
on your answering service...
11
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,567
Named Angela.
12
00:01:31,601 --> 00:01:32,834
Oh, she's terrific.
13
00:01:32,868 --> 00:01:34,234
My favorite operator.
14
00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:36,200
You know, I call
for my messages,
15
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:37,567
and all the rest of them
16
00:01:37,601 --> 00:01:39,501
they just say,
"Still nothing."
17
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,667
You know, an actor
doesn't like to hear that
18
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,634
but Angela--
nobody called me--
19
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,100
she gives me
other people's messages.
20
00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:48,934
Yeah, yeah, she really seemed
nice on the phone, you know?
21
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:50,467
Oh, unbelievably nice.
22
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:51,734
LOUIE:
Hey, Rieger?
23
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:54,567
Sometimes she gives me
Gene Shalit's messages.
24
00:01:54,601 --> 00:01:55,567
Really?
25
00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:56,634
Yeah. Gene and me
26
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,667
we use the same service,
you know.
27
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,100
A lot of stars call him.
28
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,934
You know who
called him yesterday?
29
00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:02,467
Who?
30
00:02:02,501 --> 00:02:05,334
Erma Bombeck.
31
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:08,901
Hey, you ever been out
with Angela, Bobby?
32
00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:11,801
Angela?
From your answering service?
33
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,100
Oh, she's a peach.
34
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,033
One night she and I discussed
my boxing career.
35
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,367
You know, we never even met
36
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,467
and still we must have talked
for around five minutes.
37
00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:24,968
That's longer than
most of your fights last.
38
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,901
Yeah.
39
00:02:26,934 --> 00:02:30,033
We talked
for a while too.
40
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,667
Over an hour.
41
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:33,234
Wow, an hour?
Hold it.
42
00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:35,267
You tied up my line
for an hour?
43
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,567
Alex, I could be
getting acting jobs
44
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:38,701
during that time.
45
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,234
I sort of forgot about the time.
46
00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:42,267
I mean she was
so terrific on the phone.
47
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:45,634
Hey, how come you never thought
about asking her out?
48
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:47,634
Well, I almost
asked her out once
49
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,033
but I decided against it,
it wasn't worth the risk.
50
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,334
What risk?
51
00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:53,300
She might turn out to be a dog.
52
00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:54,334
Oh.
53
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:55,334
Geez.
54
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:58,200
Did you just geez at me, Elaine?
55
00:02:58,234 --> 00:03:00,167
I can't believe you.
I mean you wouldn't go out
56
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,868
with a woman
if she wasn't good looking?
57
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:03,367
Sure, I would.
58
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,567
If I was real drunk
or something.
59
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:08,701
Hey come on, Elaine.
60
00:03:08,734 --> 00:03:10,868
Looks matter
to women too.
61
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:14,400
How popular are short,
pudgy, ugly men?
62
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:16,200
Yeah. How popular, Louie?
63
00:03:16,234 --> 00:03:17,868
You know, Bobby
64
00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:20,567
I hope someone slams a door
on your nose
65
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:24,100
and you sneeze
and your head explodes.
66
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:29,601
If you had such a good
conversation with her, Alex
67
00:03:29,634 --> 00:03:31,734
why don't you ask her out?
68
00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,234
Well, I'm thinking about it.
69
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:37,234
Yeah, well, I got to call
for my messages.
70
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,501
Hey, if Angela
should happen to answer
71
00:03:39,534 --> 00:03:40,701
should I...
72
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:41,701
No.
73
00:03:41,734 --> 00:03:44,267
All right, whatever,
but you better move fast.
74
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,234
Why?
75
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,567
So you can tell me
what she's like.
76
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:48,934
Hi.
77
00:03:48,968 --> 00:03:51,367
Any for Wheeler, 131?
78
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,167
Anything for Shalit?
79
00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:59,567
Hey, Angela, how'd you like
talking to my friend, Alex?
80
00:03:59,601 --> 00:04:00,934
Oh, yeah.
81
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:02,901
He's even better
than he sounds.
82
00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:04,834
Sure. I'll describe
him to you.
83
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:07,667
Before Bobby gets cute,
I, uh...
84
00:04:07,701 --> 00:04:09,467
Oh, this is Alex.
85
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,400
Oh, yeah?
86
00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,501
Yeah, I remember your voice, too
87
00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:17,567
even though I knew it was you.
88
00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:20,234
I mean, even if I didn't know
it was you
89
00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:23,501
and I heard your voice,
I would know it was you.
90
00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:25,267
You want to go out with me?
91
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:26,267
Smooth, Alex.
92
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,901
Would you get out of here?
93
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:28,901
Oh, boy.
94
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:29,968
What,
"Oh, boy?"
95
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,200
What you got
there, Latka?
96
00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:34,167
( speaking native language )
97
00:04:35,634 --> 00:04:37,200
Okay, okay, Latka.
98
00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:38,434
Shh! Slow down, okay?
99
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:39,434
Slow down.
100
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:40,701
Okay.
101
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:44,267
( speaking native languageslowly )
102
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,400
You found it
on the back seat.
103
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:55,267
Yeah.
104
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:57,501
2,000 bucks.
105
00:04:57,534 --> 00:04:59,634
2,000 smackers.
106
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:03,000
Not smackers. Bucks.
107
00:05:03,033 --> 00:05:07,434
Latka, you found the 2,000 bucks
108
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:08,968
I've been looking for.
109
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,801
Hey, you never lost
2,000 bucks.
110
00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:12,167
I didn't say I lost it.
111
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,868
I just said I was
looking for it.
112
00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:16,634
I've been looking
for 2,000 bucks all my life.
113
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:19,200
Hands off, Louie.
114
00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:20,701
MAN:
Hey, Louie...
115
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,200
it's your mother calling.
116
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,968
She says somebody's trying
to break into her apartment.
117
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,367
Tell her I'll
get back to her.
118
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,200
That's your mother.
119
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:31,267
All right.
I'll talk to her now.
120
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,801
Don't do nothing with that money
while I'm gone.
121
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,634
Listen, somebody has
to bring this up.
122
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,834
The hack rules say
that this money
123
00:05:39,868 --> 00:05:42,467
must be returned to
the police precinct.
124
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,467
No police.
125
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:44,701
Oh, it's okay,
if we turn it in
126
00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:46,968
and nobody claims it
within 90 days
127
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,634
then it's returned
to us, free and clear.
128
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:52,000
No police, no police,
no nothing.
129
00:05:52,033 --> 00:05:53,467
Just money.
130
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:58,467
You know, it's probably
dirty money, right?
131
00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,133
I mean what kind
of decent person
132
00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:02,968
walks around with 2,000 bucks
in cash, right?
133
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,634
A priest who collected it
134
00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:07,133
for underprivileged
crippled children.
135
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,534
Or a nun on her way to send it
to starving natives.
136
00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:13,567
Or a hooker.
137
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:17,501
Hey, Alex, listen,
we got a little problem.
138
00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:19,901
Latka just found
this bunch of money...
139
00:06:19,934 --> 00:06:22,234
( speaking native language )
140
00:06:25,934 --> 00:06:28,501
Oh, it gets better
every time he tells it.
141
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,100
Anyway, we're trying
to decide what to do.
142
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,000
Yeah? Good.
I got to leave.
I got a date.
143
00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:34,000
With Angela?
144
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:35,000
Uh-huh.
145
00:06:35,033 --> 00:06:36,300
Hey, way to go.
146
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:39,200
I never worked so hard
for a date in my life.
147
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:40,534
Hey, where you
taking her?
148
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,701
Well, I thought I'd take her
to dinner, uh, Mario's.
149
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,868
It's a nice place,
but stay away
150
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,534
from the clams oreganata
with eggplant.
151
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:49,467
It killed my sister-in-law.
152
00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:53,067
Have a good time, Alex.
153
00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:19,767
Doesn't get any better.
154
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:24,234
Hi. I'm Alex.
155
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,567
You blew it.
You could have said
156
00:07:25,601 --> 00:07:27,234
you were looking
for another apartment.
157
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:29,501
No. I was looking
for this one, 3-D.
158
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:31,968
It fell off
when I knocked on... door.
159
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,334
Well, my admirers
160
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:36,868
will just have to wander
the halls looking for me.
161
00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:39,767
I hate to disappoint you,
but I'm Angela.
162
00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:42,934
Oh. Here's your "D."
163
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:44,234
You want to come in?
164
00:07:44,267 --> 00:07:47,300
Huh? Yeah. Sure.
165
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,133
You got guts.
166
00:07:57,033 --> 00:07:58,334
It's very nice.
167
00:07:58,367 --> 00:07:59,968
You're doing very well.
168
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,033
Huh?
169
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,534
The smile, I mean.
170
00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:06,300
Most guys drop it
ten seconds after they see me.
171
00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:08,367
You can stop now.
172
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,701
You've got the record.
173
00:08:09,734 --> 00:08:11,968
Say...
174
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,267
so, Angela...
175
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,267
This is really
very nice.
176
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,200
Do you want to use
the phone?
177
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:20,200
What for?
178
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:21,534
To call your mother.
179
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,934
Maybe you'll be lucky
and she'll be sick
180
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,334
and you'll have to run over
and see her.
181
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:29,167
( laughs )
182
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,167
That's some sense of humor
you got there, Angela.
183
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,434
Well, listen,
our dinner reservations
184
00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:35,934
aren't for about an hour
185
00:08:35,968 --> 00:08:38,067
so you want to get something
first somewhere else--
186
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,033
a drink or something?
187
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,367
You must know
188
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,033
a really dark bar
where no one will see us.
189
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:46,067
We don't have to go anywhere
if you don't want to.
190
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,634
We can have a drink here.
191
00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:50,734
Sure, why take any chance
on anyone seeing you with me.
192
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,968
What would you like to drink?
193
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,501
What do you got?
194
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,367
Malteds.
195
00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,567
Listen, we can get something
at the restaurant.
196
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:02,534
Hope you like Italian.
197
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:03,534
Doesn't matter.
198
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,467
As you can see, I eat anything.
199
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:08,868
If you want, I could fix you
something here.
200
00:09:08,901 --> 00:09:10,834
You don't want to go out?
201
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:11,968
I don't care.
202
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,367
I was just trying
to make it easy on you.
203
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,701
Get your coat.
204
00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,501
What are you trying to prove?
205
00:09:18,534 --> 00:09:20,033
That you're a great guy?
206
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,501
Okay. You're a great guy.
A real prince.
207
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:25,434
Um... here.
208
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:27,534
Here's your coat.
209
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,901
You don't know
when to quit, do you?
210
00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:32,067
Hey, I asked you out for dinner,
we're going out for dinner.
211
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,067
It will be fun.
212
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,200
You'll see.
213
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:39,901
Fat chance.
214
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:47,834
Do you like clams oreganata
with eggplant?
215
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:05,267
I never met anybody
216
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,834
who liked anchovies.
217
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:09,300
Rich people probably like them.
218
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,200
Rich people
like anything
219
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:14,934
that's small that tastes weird.
220
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,801
Why don't you drop
the act now, huh?
221
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:19,901
What? What act?
222
00:10:19,934 --> 00:10:21,968
Pretending that you're not
having a lousy time.
223
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,667
Hey, come on, Angela,
would you?
224
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,400
What do you still got
your coat on for?
225
00:10:27,434 --> 00:10:29,567
The management requested it.
226
00:10:29,601 --> 00:10:32,100
Don't you care
for your salad?
227
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:34,567
I wouldn't know if I
cared for it or not.
228
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:35,567
I didn't eat it.
229
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,901
Hey, what's with you?
230
00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:39,067
What's the matter? Aren't you
having a good time anymore?
231
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,868
I once went out with a girl
232
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:43,133
who pulled a knife on me,
robbed me
233
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,734
and threw me out of her car
on the New Jersey turnpike.
234
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:49,901
I have to think about that now
as a medium date.
235
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:52,634
So you want to take me home now?
236
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,367
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
237
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:58,501
There he is.
238
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,000
Let's go out this way.
239
00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:04,601
Hey, Alex,
I'm really sorry.
240
00:11:04,634 --> 00:11:05,868
I tried to stop them
241
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:08,067
from coming down
and bothering you.
242
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,300
Angela Matusa
243
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:12,601
this is Tony Banta,
John Burns, Latka Gravas
244
00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:15,434
and Bobby Wheeler,
who I guess you sort of know.
245
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,634
Nice to finally meet you,
Angela.
246
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,634
Am I what you pictured,
Bobby?
247
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:22,801
Yeah, more or less.
248
00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:25,734
More.
249
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,367
What are you guys doing here?
250
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,367
ANGELA:
If you'll excuse me.
251
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,601
I have to use the ladies' room.
252
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,400
Hey, Alex...
253
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,734
So how's your big date?
254
00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:37,133
All right, stop that.
255
00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:38,167
( laughter )
256
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,300
That's not funny.
257
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:40,567
Hey.
258
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,200
( speaking native language )
259
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,167
I think Latka likes her.
260
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,267
Do you like her, Latka?
261
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,968
Maybe Alex will give you
her number.
262
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,901
You could call her up
for tomorrow night.
263
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:52,934
Oh, no.
Thank you very much.
264
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:55,734
All right, what
do you clowns want?
265
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,601
Yeah. Why don't you
sit down?
266
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,567
Well, you know the money
that Latka found?
267
00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:06,667
We're still trying
to decide what
to do with it.
268
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:08,334
We wanted you
to hold onto it
269
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,601
until we figure out
what to do with it,
all right?
270
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:11,934
Yeah, because otherwise
271
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:15,000
we're going to have
to spend the night as a group
272
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:16,834
'cause nobody trusts nobody.
273
00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:17,968
Except you.
274
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,534
Everybody trusts you.
275
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,567
Okay.
276
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,100
Want to give us
277
00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:25,601
a receipt?
278
00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,501
Oh, here comes Angela.
279
00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:32,868
Now be polite, huh?
280
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,234
Control yourself.
281
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:35,467
Oh, hi.
282
00:12:35,501 --> 00:12:36,868
Good to see you back.
283
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:38,434
Everything go all right
284
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:39,734
in the ladies' room?
285
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,267
We should be going now.
286
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,901
Nice meeting you,
Angela.
287
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:43,901
See you.
288
00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:45,267
Yeah, so long.
289
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,567
Bet your friends
290
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,634
got quite a kick
out of me, huh?
291
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:51,934
What do you mean?
292
00:12:51,968 --> 00:12:54,267
I heard them all break up
when I left.
293
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,534
They weren't laughing at you.
294
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,300
No?
295
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:57,200
No.
296
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,701
One of the guys told a joke.
297
00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:03,367
Why are you afraid to tell me
they were laughing at me?
I can take it.
298
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,501
Because they weren't.
Now can we drop this?
299
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,934
All I know is, I heard a big
laugh when I left the table.
300
00:13:07,968 --> 00:13:09,300
I told you what it was.
301
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,834
What do you want from me?
302
00:13:10,868 --> 00:13:12,133
I want you to stop lying to me.
303
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,167
You've been lying to me
all night, and I'm sick of it.
304
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,167
Okay.
305
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,234
They were laughing at you, okay?
306
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:24,434
You could have held out.
307
00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:26,634
I was almost ready
to believe you.
308
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:27,567
Look, you don't have
309
00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:29,400
to bother
seeing me home.
310
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,501
No, I'll take you.
311
00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:32,634
No, really. I'm one of
the few women in New York
312
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,167
who's safe
on the streets.
313
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,567
Come on, you came with me,
you're leaving with me.
314
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:38,567
Listen, let's not spoil
a lovely evening
315
00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:39,634
by arguing, okay?
316
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:40,767
And hey, don't worry.
You did your duty.
317
00:13:40,801 --> 00:13:42,767
You proved
you were a nice guy.
318
00:13:42,801 --> 00:13:44,734
I'm taking you.
319
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:46,167
Get your paws off me.
320
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,033
They give you a little dinner,
they think they own you.
321
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,868
Latka! Will you cut it out?!
322
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:08,267
You're not going to find
any more money.
323
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:11,501
Besides, these cabs
got to go out soon
324
00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:15,000
but they can't go out
with no back seats
325
00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:18,067
'cause where
will our passengers sit?
326
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,367
You want them to squat
327
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,133
on the floor like ducks?
328
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,067
Okay.
329
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,100
Put the damn seats back
330
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,801
you dumb foreigner.
331
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:28,934
Come on!
332
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,200
Foreigner?
333
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:31,334
Yeah.
334
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:32,367
Did you said foreigner?
335
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,200
Yeah.
336
00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:35,234
For you.
337
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:39,501
What's that mean?
338
00:14:39,534 --> 00:14:40,868
Means this.
339
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,801
You better smile
when you do that, buddy.
340
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,100
Oh, yeah?
341
00:14:50,434 --> 00:14:53,400
Okay, pal, mull this one over.
342
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:56,467
Oh, all right.
343
00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,067
I accept your apology.
344
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:08,534
But we still don't know
who was driving
345
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:10,400
when the money was left in it.
346
00:15:11,534 --> 00:15:12,567
Hi, Alex.
347
00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:15,167
Hey, Alex,
did you score?
348
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,834
Shut up.
349
00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:19,067
I guess not.
350
00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:22,067
Geez.
351
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,167
I heard about your date.
352
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,267
Oh, yeah?
353
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,434
Yeah.
354
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,801
I wonder how come?
355
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:32,667
You get some real kooks
on blind dates, boy.
356
00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,234
Like this one.
357
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,968
I show up--
looking good, per usual--
358
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,501
and this girl
comes to the door.
359
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:42,634
Beautiful.
360
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,434
Not your type.
361
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:46,667
Right,
'cause to be honest
362
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:50,634
I prefer my women "H and H"--
homely and hot.
363
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,033
I misjudged you, Louie.
364
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,901
You're really a poet, you know?
365
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,033
You bet.
366
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,200
Can I have
my receipt, please?
367
00:15:57,234 --> 00:16:00,868
Anyway, all of a sudden,
she says, "I feel sick."
368
00:16:00,901 --> 00:16:04,200
Tells me she thinks
she was exposed to cholera
369
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:05,501
earlier that day.
370
00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:08,067
So, what did you do?
371
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,901
I tried to take
her blouse off.
372
00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:11,834
It's not my fault
she feels sick
373
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:14,501
so why shouldn't one of us
have a good time, right?
374
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:17,234
You know, every time
I talk to you, Louie
375
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,968
I feel grateful
that I haven't eaten yet.
376
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,534
Heard about your date.
377
00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:24,868
Oh, yeah, what was it,
broadcast over the PA?
378
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,267
Yeah.
379
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,367
Hey, Elaine,
can I talk to you
380
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,434
for a minute?
381
00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:33,701
Yeah, sure.
382
00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:35,234
I don't want any advice.
383
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,567
I just want to talk.
384
00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:37,801
Go ahead.
385
00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:41,033
I can't stop thinking
about that girl.
386
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,267
You know,
you're a terrific guy.
387
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,634
That's not what
I want to hear.
388
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,734
It just goes to show you
how terrific you are.
389
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:48,367
All night long,
she kept accusing me
390
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,701
of going through
the motions--
391
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:52,033
that I wouldn't call
her again because
of her looks
392
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:54,234
and I kept telling
her she was wrong.
393
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:55,534
Terrific.
394
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:56,834
But she wasn't wrong.
395
00:16:56,868 --> 00:16:57,968
Oh, Alex, you too?
396
00:16:58,033 --> 00:17:00,133
No. Listen,
what I can't figure out
397
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,534
is that hour I had
with her on the phone
398
00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:05,767
was one of the greatest
conversations I've ever had.
399
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,634
A witty, bright,
sensitive girl
400
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,667
who came to the door
disappeared.
401
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:11,000
What happened to her?
402
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,934
Maybe Angela ate her.
403
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,767
It wasn't just her looks.
404
00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:24,300
She was also
the bitterest, surliest
405
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,667
most depressing person
I ever met.
406
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:30,367
So, how come I feel
like I have to go see her again?
407
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,434
I don't know.
408
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,033
You got an answer for that?
409
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,100
Yeah, I feel like
410
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,067
I'm walking away
from a car wreck
411
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,901
with a person trapped inside.
412
00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:39,701
That's true.
413
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:42,667
I'm going to go see her.
414
00:17:42,701 --> 00:17:43,767
Oh, before I forget
415
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,868
you can give us
that money back now.
416
00:17:45,901 --> 00:17:47,601
Even though we're
nowhere near
417
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,267
figuring out
how to split it.
418
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,501
Hey, listen, Latka found it.
419
00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:51,767
Why don't you give
it all to him?
420
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:54,033
That's one we
didn't think of.
421
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,767
What are you talking about?
422
00:17:55,801 --> 00:17:59,033
He doesn't know what to do
with that kind of money.
423
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,934
Yeah, he'll probably
just blow it
424
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,601
on rent or food
or something.
425
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:04,734
How can you give it to him?
426
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:07,767
You want to pop the veins
in my head?
427
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:10,901
Here, Latka,
take your money.
428
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,667
Okay, you guys.
429
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,934
( speakingnative language )
430
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:23,634
Thank you very much.
431
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,400
Hey, no, no.
432
00:18:28,434 --> 00:18:29,734
Latka, Latka, please.
433
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:30,868
Please, not now.
434
00:19:00,701 --> 00:19:02,667
Let's make it seven out of 13.
435
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,267
What are you doing
this time
436
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,300
praying
nobody will be home?
437
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:16,000
Huh? No. Listen, I just
dropped by because I, I...
438
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:17,200
Come in if you want.
439
00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:19,367
Okay.
440
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,634
I guess I should have called
first, but, uh...
441
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:25,801
Hey, is this
our second date?
442
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:26,801
I don't know.
443
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,701
Let's say it is.
I've never had one.
444
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,000
Okay, it's our second date.
445
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:34,000
Good, so far it looks like
I haven't been missing anything.
446
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:36,434
Hey, Angela? Will you just let
me get out what I have to say?
447
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,701
Because I don't want to end up
448
00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:40,100
with us doing that stupid stuff
that we did last night.
449
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:41,334
You mean falling in love?
450
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,968
Would you like to hear
what I have to say or not?
451
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Can I get a drink first?
452
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,901
I have a feeling
I'm going to need a drink.
453
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,234
Yeah, go ahead.
454
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:48,834
You want anything?
No, thanks.
455
00:19:48,868 --> 00:19:51,400
So, what's on your mind?
456
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:54,567
Well, I, uh...
457
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:56,033
I don't really know.
458
00:19:56,067 --> 00:19:58,033
I, uh...
459
00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:01,667
I guess I would sort of like
to get to know you better.
460
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,667
Why?
461
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,868
Why not?
462
00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:06,534
Well, you might not know
to look at me
463
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:10,567
but I'm not exactly beautiful,
or, uh, even good-looking.
464
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,033
I'm not quite plain.
465
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:15,300
Now, feel free to jump in
and stop me anytime.
466
00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:16,434
Hey, come on.
467
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:18,467
I'm no Robert Redford,
you know.
468
00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:21,000
I wouldn't mind looking like you
if I was a man.
469
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,701
Would you want
to look like me?
470
00:20:22,734 --> 00:20:24,400
Wouldn't be so bad.
471
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:27,634
I'd, you know,
kind of fix up my hair
472
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:31,868
and, uh... I'd do that
sort of stuff with makeup
473
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:36,200
and, uh, I'd go to a gym,
and I'd work on myself.
474
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,868
I mean,
that's what I would do.
475
00:20:37,901 --> 00:20:40,501
Not that I'm saying
that you should do anything.
476
00:20:40,534 --> 00:20:43,334
It's just what I would do.
477
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,567
Okay, let's say I did
all the hairdo and makeup
478
00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:49,033
and everything and dropped
ten or 70 pounds.
479
00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,868
Do you think I'd be attractive?
480
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:54,300
Do you think I'd be attractive?
481
00:20:55,968 --> 00:20:57,467
Yeah, sure, why not?
482
00:20:57,501 --> 00:20:59,133
In a romantic sort of way?
483
00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:01,300
You don't have
to answer.
484
00:21:01,334 --> 00:21:03,200
You could just nod.
485
00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:05,133
Hey, look, I'm not, uh...
486
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:09,000
I haven't been romantically
involved in eight years
487
00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:12,567
and I'm not about to break
my streak right now.
488
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:14,767
Hey, look, but we, uh...
we did have fun
489
00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:17,300
talking on the phone
the other day, didn't we?
490
00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:19,133
I mean, that
was sort of special.
491
00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:21,467
Hey, look, I swear
I'm not that comfortable
492
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,734
with that many people.
493
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,400
I just think that we
could get to be friends.
494
00:21:26,434 --> 00:21:28,534
I can't believe you came
all the way back here
495
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:30,133
just because
you forgot to give me
496
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:31,601
the "let's be friends" speech.
497
00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:33,100
Hey, can we drop that?
498
00:21:33,133 --> 00:21:37,234
I just think I'd like to get
to know you better, that's all.
499
00:21:37,267 --> 00:21:38,734
You want me to open up?
500
00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:41,300
Would that
make you happy?
501
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,200
Make you feel like
502
00:21:43,234 --> 00:21:46,767
you did your good deed
for the day?
503
00:21:46,801 --> 00:21:48,167
Okay. Okay.
504
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,767
But then you better plan on
sticking around.
505
00:21:49,801 --> 00:21:51,300
Because I'm not standing here
alone
506
00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:53,968
with my insides on the floor,
while you walk out
507
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,300
feeling you did
the poor fat girl some big favor
508
00:21:56,334 --> 00:21:58,934
by helping her get in touch
with her feelings.
509
00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:03,133
You want to be a hero?
510
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:04,601
Then be prepared
to stick around
511
00:22:04,634 --> 00:22:06,100
for the rest of the war, okay?
512
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,167
Maybe I will.
513
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,667
But can we start slower--
514
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:12,234
like where we went
to high school
515
00:22:12,267 --> 00:22:14,767
and then we'll work up
to your insides on the floor?
516
00:22:20,534 --> 00:22:25,601
Hey, Angela, I think we had
a normal moment there.
517
00:22:25,634 --> 00:22:26,934
Huh?
518
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:31,067
Well, listen, uh,
you don't mind
519
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,434
if I get a little clear
520
00:22:32,467 --> 00:22:34,634
on what we're trying
to establish here.
521
00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:36,634
It wouldn't make you nuts,
would it?
522
00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:38,367
No, it would not
make me nuts.
523
00:22:42,701 --> 00:22:43,901
So, uh...
524
00:22:43,934 --> 00:22:46,367
so, what it is, is, is...
525
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,334
I could call you
whenever I feel like it?
526
00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:53,734
If I need advice,
I could call you?
527
00:22:53,767 --> 00:22:56,133
Yeah.
528
00:22:57,634 --> 00:23:01,367
Uh... if you need advice,
you could call me?
529
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,200
Yup.
530
00:23:03,234 --> 00:23:06,834
If we have something
interesting happening
531
00:23:06,868 --> 00:23:09,067
we could call each other?
532
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,434
Yeah.
533
00:23:11,467 --> 00:23:14,167
We could call
just to shoot the breeze?
534
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:16,501
Yeah.
535
00:23:17,868 --> 00:23:18,868
Yup.
536
00:23:18,901 --> 00:23:23,300
Or, uh...
537
00:23:23,334 --> 00:23:26,767
if I just need a hug?
538
00:23:40,434 --> 00:23:44,501
Uh, you know how long
it's been since I cried?
539
00:23:44,534 --> 00:23:46,400
No.
540
00:23:46,434 --> 00:23:48,267
A half an hour.
541
00:23:59,734 --> 00:24:02,667
( theme music playing )
542
00:24:26,767 --> 00:24:28,534
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
543
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:29,667
( grunts )
37187
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