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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:57,338 --> 00:01:02,950
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
2
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,965
I do not always
go after
unavailable men.
3
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,634
Oh, really?
4
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,202
Richard.
5
00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:12,054
Richard's not unavailable.
6
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,972
He's just not calling
me back right now.
7
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,558
James.
8
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,561
That tanorexic
had so many wrinkles.
9
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,214
How was I supposed to
know she's his girlfriend
and not his mom?
10
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:23,649
How about Sean?
11
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,685
Oh, Sean...
12
00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:29,721
He's been transferred
to a minimum security prison.
I got a letter from him.
13
00:01:30,774 --> 00:01:33,408
He says he can receive
conjugal visits now.
14
00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:38,563
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
I rest my case.
15
00:01:38,615 --> 00:01:42,167
Well, speaking of
unavailable, what
are we doing here?
16
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,171
Orange mocha frappuccino shots.
17
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,572
We're doing shots!
18
00:01:48,424 --> 00:01:49,958
This place is amazing.
19
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,546
I'll be right back.
Everyone is so nice.
20
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,266
Does he know?
21
00:01:58,251 --> 00:01:59,251
No, not a clue.
22
00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:02,020
To being straight and clueless.
23
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,222
Straight and clueless.
24
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:04,857
Cheers.
25
00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:12,648
Too sweet.
26
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,149
All right, bitches.
Let's dance.
27
00:02:41,311 --> 00:02:42,811
Dance off!
28
00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:28,106
I don't think
I've seen a girl spread
her legs that far before.
29
00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:30,309
That's what Richard stoplik
said in the fifth grade,
30
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,977
which was about
the last time I hit that.
31
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,112
I'll tell you what.
32
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:37,649
For every time you
hit that, I'll buy
you a shot.
33
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:40,118
Oh, yeah?
Gonna cost you, baby!
34
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:48,193
I always thought
it was enthusiasm.
35
00:03:48,244 --> 00:03:51,363
No, the secret to
a good blow job
is eye contact.
36
00:03:51,414 --> 00:03:54,699
Yes. God, I love
gay bars. You pick up
the best sex tips.
37
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:56,802
And I love
these shoes.
Ostrich, right?
38
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:59,087
Yes. Finally a man
who appreciates
true beauty.
39
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,141
So what about hummers?
40
00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:04,826
My favorite!
41
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:17,055
So I said,
"girlfriend,
to get the guy,
42
00:04:17,106 --> 00:04:19,908
"you've got to
be the last
woman standing."
43
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,110
Oh, my God.
Rule number 2.
44
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,229
That is exactly
what I told Sam
the other week.
45
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:28,533
So how about anal?
46
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,371
Check it out.
Whoa!
47
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:40,963
As much as I'm sure you've
enjoyed slamming your
vagina into the floor,
48
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,632
I think it's time
to retire dancing.
Let's go.
49
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,300
No! No!
50
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,718
I wanna stay here with Max.
51
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,104
Mark. It's cool.
52
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:51,890
Um, I can take
her home later.
She's in safe hands.
53
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:52,975
Yes, I am.
54
00:04:56,646 --> 00:04:58,930
Hey!
Oh, hi.
55
00:04:58,982 --> 00:05:00,782
Are you sure
you're going to be
okay with him?
56
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,768
Yes, I'll be fine
with my new gbf.
57
00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,904
Your what?
Gay best friend.
Duh!
58
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:07,772
Go!
59
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:09,574
All right.
60
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:11,710
Bye then.
61
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,079
Jello, hookers!
62
00:05:16,132 --> 00:05:18,500
You're...
Women just
don't get it.
63
00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:20,168
They don't get it.
64
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,254
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
65
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,806
Ah, you're...
66
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,642
You're a good looking guy.
You must get a lot of women.
67
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,813
You guys are nice.
You guys are so nice.
68
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:33,732
I love this place.
69
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,127
How come you guys aren't
wearing any shirts?
70
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,282
Welcome.
71
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:53,502
I love the whole
modern minimalist look
you're rocking here.
72
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,087
Thanks.
73
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,505
I have that same table.
74
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,090
Design within reach?
75
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,326
Knock off.
Don't tell anyone.
76
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,345
Sit. Sit.
77
00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:07,665
I'll open up
a bottle of wine.
Oh!
78
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:10,552
You know that I used to
get them free
79
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,356
but then the wine clerk
showed me his weenie
80
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:15,006
and it was this
big. Little.
81
00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:17,726
Been there.
Not done that.
82
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,145
Right? Fucking tiny!
83
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:23,148
Ow!
84
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,350
I'm fine.
Okay.
85
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,069
Yeah.
Up. Up.
86
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,620
Up. Up.
87
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:30,789
Oh, oh boy.
Okay.
88
00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:33,075
Enough of that. Okay.
89
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:36,161
How about you just
stay here, and I'll
get us some water.
90
00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:38,380
Okay, but it won't
taste as good.
91
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,414
Just a break.
92
00:06:42,752 --> 00:06:44,503
I'm sorry.
93
00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:47,222
I usually hold
my liquor better
than a tween starlet
94
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,207
on the fourth day
of a bulimia binge.
95
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:05,157
I don't feel as drunk
as I did 10 seconds ago.
96
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,526
Good.
97
00:07:07,577 --> 00:07:09,497
Then I hope you're alert
enough to remember this.
98
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,503
Aren't you gay?
99
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,923
If what you mean
by gay is happy
to be here, then yes.
100
00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:24,626
I thought that
you don't like to...
101
00:07:30,299 --> 00:07:31,550
Does it feel gay to you?
102
00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:35,353
It feels happy.
103
00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:33,278
Would you believe me if
I told you I've never had sex
on my floor before?
104
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:34,812
Really? I don't believe you.
105
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,273
So wait, is he gay or not?
106
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,058
The bruise on my
ass would say not.
107
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,262
But no straight man
knows that much
about sucking cock.
108
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:08,513
What? They don't.
109
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,150
So how are you supposed
to tell the difference?
110
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:15,453
I guess you just assume
they're bi until they give
us reason to think otherwise.
111
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:18,573
Like, if he's eating pussy,
you can assume he's straight.
112
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,575
But if he's not down
for the pie, then...
113
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,360
He might be gay.
114
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:25,113
Right?
115
00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:28,718
Thank you.
Thank you.
116
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:32,721
Isn't he great?
Isn't he gay?
117
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,007
What? No.
We had sex
this morning.
118
00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,008
Did he munch the muff?
119
00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:43,476
So there's a chance that
really cute gay guy who
just started at my office
120
00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,649
could be straight?
121
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:45,900
There's always a chance.
122
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:46,884
So how do I tell?
123
00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:48,820
Listen...
124
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:52,157
You approach it
like a prosecutor.
125
00:09:53,576 --> 00:09:55,393
Burden of proof is on you.
126
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,712
I'm really glad
they put us together
on this project.
127
00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:15,714
Yeah, I'm glad you're here.
128
00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,382
I heard this girl's
a real bitch.
129
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:18,300
Yeah, she is.
130
00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:21,303
Do you not like
girls or something?
131
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,054
Just the bitchy ones.
132
00:10:29,478 --> 00:10:31,696
Who do I have to blow
to get a cup of coffee
around here?
133
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:32,614
That would be me.
134
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:36,173
Do you not know to pour coffee?
135
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,437
Oh, sorry.
136
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:45,928
Well, first of all,
congrats on the book.
137
00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:50,615
Devon and I will
make sure that your
launch party goes off
138
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,618
without a hitch.
139
00:10:53,669 --> 00:10:58,256
I told my agent that
I hate doing this
publicity shit, so...
140
00:10:58,307 --> 00:11:00,025
Well, don't worry.
It'll be painless.
141
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:03,228
I was thinking something
minimalist to show off
your photographs.
142
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:05,764
A stark white gallery
decorated with orchids
143
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:08,016
and maybe a signature drink?
144
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,468
A hybrid between
a mojito and an
apple Martini?
145
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:13,805
Sounds totally gay.
146
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,023
Have you even seen my book?
147
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:16,974
Hmm?
148
00:11:17,026 --> 00:11:20,278
I take pictures of
chicks showing off
their tits and their tats.
149
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:24,649
Seriously, is that the best
that you can come up with?
150
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,484
Or we can do something
more rock and roll
151
00:11:26,535 --> 00:11:28,286
like in a tattoo shop?
152
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:29,654
Serve beer on tap?
153
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:31,289
I love it.
154
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,174
Tits, tats and
pabst blue ribbon.
155
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,542
What could be better?
156
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,511
No pabst, Stella.
157
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:37,796
I am not a hipster, asshole.
158
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,349
Winning.
159
00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:44,052
Oh, fuck my life.
160
00:11:46,889 --> 00:11:48,223
Okay.
161
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:52,444
He talks about orchids
and mojitinis but he
loves cheep beer.
162
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,179
What the hell is he?
163
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:58,483
Sometimes it's hard to tell.
164
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,485
Sienna once hooked
up with a guy who
had one of those
165
00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:02,203
creepy porcelain
doll collections.
166
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,962
You can't just scratch
the surface, you have to
dig deeper.
167
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:12,831
How deep?
168
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:14,883
Deep.
169
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,330
Check his search history.
170
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:49,033
Is he looking atgay porn or sports?
171
00:12:54,457 --> 00:12:56,124
Listen in on his conversations.
172
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,961
Yeah, it was the sweetest
little pussy I've ever seen.
173
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:03,131
Is he braggingabout the poonhe just scored
174
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,134
or planning a trip toa bed and breakfast?
175
00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:09,086
The cutest cat ever.
176
00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:13,057
Observe his behavior.
177
00:13:16,111 --> 00:13:18,930
Does he check outa nice pair of tits?
178
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,953
Or is he lookingat a guy's bits?
179
00:13:31,594 --> 00:13:33,328
It is impossible to tell.
180
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:36,948
This guy may be truly bisexual.
181
00:13:36,999 --> 00:13:39,280
Well, you can always
try and fuck him and
see what happens.
182
00:13:40,002 --> 00:13:41,085
It might be the only way.
183
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:45,289
The event is tomorrow night.
184
00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:48,176
With plenty of pbr
on tap, it might be
my best chance.
185
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,395
Ooh, free drinks.
Can I invite mark?
186
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,647
Sure.
Cool.
187
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,017
Hey, maybe I should
ask Tyler, too.
188
00:13:57,987 --> 00:13:59,571
He can sniff out a
gay guy a mile away.
189
00:14:01,524 --> 00:14:03,164
You really think you
need the competition?
190
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,579
Yeah, I can totally
meet you after.
191
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,814
No, that's in the
opposite direction.
Where do you live?
192
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,500
Really?
I know
that building.
193
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,756
Well, how about the
Korean karaoke
place on the corner?
194
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:19,924
With all the '80s songs.
195
00:14:21,176 --> 00:14:22,760
Great. I'll see
you then.
196
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:28,883
New boyfriend?
Nah, just this gay
guy I'm fucking.
197
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,669
Don't even try to make
sense of this one, opie.
198
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,773
Call me crazy, but if
he's fucking you doesn't
that mean he's not gay?
199
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,341
Shut up.
Don't ruin
the fantasy.
200
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:38,943
Hey, my pen.
201
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,859
Now, this might be
the perfect
amuse-bouche
202
00:14:54,910 --> 00:14:56,694
but it's just missing
a hint of citrus.
203
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,330
Do you like an amused bouche?
204
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:00,999
I like to eat.
205
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:02,884
Do you?
206
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:04,586
Ooh.
207
00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:08,442
I'd like a taste
of that later tonight.
208
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,544
I give up.
209
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,720
That's him over there.
210
00:15:23,906 --> 00:15:24,822
What do you think?
211
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,608
Hmmm.
212
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,694
The jeans say
gay-gay-gay but the
shoes say straight.
213
00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:34,198
Stop agonizing and
start propositioning.
214
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,735
This party is a
goddamned disaster.
215
00:15:37,786 --> 00:15:39,070
What're you talking about?
216
00:15:39,121 --> 00:15:41,072
The place is packed.
217
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:43,875
People are happy
and most of all,
they love your photographs.
218
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:46,344
This place is filled
with douche bags.
219
00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:49,631
I think I just saw a guy
wearing a members only
jacket unironically.
220
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,581
Tragical.
221
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,433
Yes.
222
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:54,469
Indeed.
223
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,022
And we're running out of beer.
224
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:01,258
So everyone's going to be
drinking your disgusting wine
which I told you not to buy
225
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:03,561
but you bought anyway.
226
00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:07,281
I'd rather be tattooing
my labia than staying
one more minute at this party.
227
00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:09,851
But my agent told me I had to.
228
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:11,119
So...
229
00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:14,038
Fuck my life.
230
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,162
What a bitch.
231
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:22,797
What a cunt!
Oh, my God.
232
00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,165
Yeah, right?
233
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:25,216
She's fabulous.
234
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,953
I'm gonna go see if she
wants to be my new bbf.
235
00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:29,887
Your what?
236
00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:32,674
Bitchy best friend.
237
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:36,644
Traitor.
238
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:39,296
Anyway...
239
00:16:40,015 --> 00:16:41,566
Hey, where's mark?
240
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:42,934
I thought you said
you invited him.
241
00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:44,268
I did. But he had
a late meeting
242
00:16:44,319 --> 00:16:46,487
so we'll be getting together
after the party.
243
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,140
Getting together like
getting together?
244
00:16:49,191 --> 00:16:51,751
Get together like
his tongue will be getting
together with my vag.
245
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:53,194
Speaking of which,
246
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:55,953
when are you gonna pounce?
247
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,011
I'm gonna wait till
the party dies down.
248
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,587
Then, I'm going to
take him into the back
249
00:17:03,706 --> 00:17:05,256
and see which way
his door swings.
250
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,466
Hey.
251
00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:18,219
Well?
252
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:20,354
Is he or isn't he?
253
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:22,607
I don't know.
I can't find him.
254
00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:26,611
Really?
255
00:17:28,564 --> 00:17:30,848
I thought I heard
the sweet sounds of
Booty slapping in the back.
256
00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:32,784
I just assumed it
was you and Devon.
257
00:17:34,236 --> 00:17:35,876
You think Devon's back
there with someone?
258
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,824
I haven't seen him
in like 20 minutes.
259
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,221
You wanna find
out whether it's
a he or a she?
260
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:02,597
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh!
261
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,550
Oh, God. Ride me.
262
00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:07,518
Best party ever.
263
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:09,687
Yeah!
264
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,024
Hey!
265
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,840
Get the fuck out!
Close the
fucking curtain.
266
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:24,979
He really is an
equal opportunity whore.
267
00:18:28,457 --> 00:18:30,124
That's gross.
268
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:31,926
Shut the fuck up and
call me John Wayne.
269
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,490
John Wayne.
John Wayne.
Fuck me, John Wayne.
Fuck me, John Wayne.
270
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,581
John Wayne.
Switch.
Wrong hole.
271
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:38,883
Oh, fuck.
Sorry.
272
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,101
Okay, go.
That's my...
273
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,605
Neigh!
274
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:45,723
Oh, neigh!
Neigh, yeah!
275
00:18:45,774 --> 00:18:47,014
Oh, neigh!
Fucking neigh for me.
276
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,476
Neigh!
277
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,394
Oh, fuck. Ride me
to the sunset.
278
00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:51,896
Yeah, oh.
Ride me
to the sunset.
279
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:53,147
Side saddle.
Side saddle.
Side saddle.
280
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,392
Side saddle.
Side saddle.
Okay.
281
00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:58,853
Oh, God. Yeah.
You're so hot.
You're so hot.
282
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,406
Great.
283
00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:04,208
He must've left.
284
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,043
There goes my best chance.
285
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:06,951
Best chance for what?
286
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,780
Where've you been?
287
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:13,751
We ran out of ironic
hipster beer so I went
to the store but...
288
00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:16,254
Looks like everyone
bolted as soon as
the tap ran out.
289
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,674
Yeah, except for
that tattooed bitch
who's having sex
290
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,792
with my gay plus one
in the stock room.
291
00:19:23,178 --> 00:19:24,312
No shit?
292
00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:25,263
No shit.
293
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:31,802
Just ask him.
294
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:34,972
God, you have nothing to lose.
295
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:42,029
Hey, Devon.
Hey.
296
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:44,648
I, um...
297
00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:48,536
I was wondering...
298
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:53,507
I really enjoyed
working with you.
299
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:54,953
I've enjoyed working
with you, too.
300
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,350
Can I just ask you a question
301
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,314
that I've been wondering
about for a week or so?
302
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:06,687
Okay.
303
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:10,892
Are you gay or straight?
304
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:18,950
If you really wanted to
know why didn't you just
check my relationship status?
305
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:32,496
You didn't cyber-stalk
him first?
306
00:20:32,547 --> 00:20:34,165
I just...
That's usually your
first line of attack.
307
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:36,083
I tried.
He's not online.
308
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,587
Oh, my God.
Everyone's online.
What's his last name?
309
00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:40,537
Kennedy.
310
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:43,540
Here.
311
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,929
Were you spelling it correctly?
312
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,293
How many ways
are there to spell?
313
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:52,316
Oh, I guess.
314
00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:53,818
What does it say?
315
00:20:54,903 --> 00:20:56,553
Oh.
316
00:20:56,605 --> 00:20:58,689
In a relationship
with Chris dellegrino.
317
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,025
Guy Chris or girl Chris?
318
00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:04,779
I don't know because Chris
has no profile pic.
319
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,531
No!
320
00:21:07,582 --> 00:21:11,085
Yeah, well this game
of gay, not gay
has been real but
321
00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:14,571
I think I'm gonna go
and surprise mark
at his place.
322
00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:16,040
Oh, great.
323
00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:18,459
Have fun fucking your gay guy.
324
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:19,910
Will do and thank ya.
325
00:21:23,966 --> 00:21:26,100
- Neigh! Neigh!
- Oh, neigh!
326
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,053
I really like your shoes.
327
00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:32,525
Yeah, you can borrow 'em.
Yeah, I can.
Oh, my God.
328
00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:33,975
Oh yeah.
329
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:36,310
Oh, yeah. Yeah, oh.
I can see the sunset.
330
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,675
I can see the sunset,
John Wayne.
331
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,149
Lizzie.
332
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:46,603
Um, I thought you were
supposed to meet me
at the bar in an hour.
333
00:21:46,655 --> 00:21:49,206
Yeah, I know.
The party went lame.
334
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:51,409
So I decided to
surprise you instead.
335
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,711
Let me in.
Oh, no.
336
00:21:53,778 --> 00:21:55,246
I'm not fully dressed.
337
00:21:55,297 --> 00:21:57,298
I've seen you
undress before, silly.
338
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,282
Come on.
339
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,258
What the fuck is this?
340
00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,731
What're you wearing?
You look like you've
been working on a car.
341
00:22:13,798 --> 00:22:17,234
I didn't have enough
time to change before
you came over.
342
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,853
You went to work like that?
343
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,191
Oh, Jesus.
344
00:22:25,810 --> 00:22:26,994
You're not gay, are you?
345
00:22:29,831 --> 00:22:31,365
It was just an act to get laid?
346
00:22:34,036 --> 00:22:35,920
Oh, shit.
347
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:36,837
You know...
348
00:22:38,206 --> 00:22:40,091
I'd almost respect you if I...
349
00:22:40,158 --> 00:22:43,344
Wasn't so disgusted
with the fact that
I actually fell for it.
350
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,596
Lizzie.
351
00:22:45,663 --> 00:22:48,766
I'm never picking upa straight guyat a gay bar again.
352
00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:53,687
At least you know
yours is straight
353
00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:55,389
and dtf.
354
00:22:57,008 --> 00:22:59,727
I still have no idea
whether Devon prefers
355
00:23:00,395 --> 00:23:02,029
hot dogs or tacos.
356
00:23:06,818 --> 00:23:07,851
You notice something?
357
00:23:10,906 --> 00:23:11,822
What?
358
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:13,824
It's just us.
359
00:23:15,410 --> 00:23:17,745
Despite everything that we do,
360
00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:21,198
it always ends up
just you and me.
361
00:23:21,249 --> 00:23:25,169
Don't blame the rules.
Imagine how fucked up things
would be without them.
362
00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:29,507
Oh... my poor
little slunts.
363
00:23:29,558 --> 00:23:30,724
Why so sad?
364
00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:34,478
I thought I found
the perfect guy.
365
00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:37,515
Gay in every way.
366
00:23:37,566 --> 00:23:39,850
Except the one that counts.
367
00:23:39,901 --> 00:23:42,820
Turns out, he's just an
off-the-rack straight guy.
368
00:23:42,887 --> 00:23:46,440
Take heart. There's a
little gay in all of us.
369
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:49,493
Although, Fiona had a lot
of gay in her last night.
370
00:23:50,728 --> 00:23:51,562
Ew.
371
00:23:53,748 --> 00:23:55,399
So does that mean you're bi?
372
00:23:55,450 --> 00:24:00,237
Please. Bisexuality is
but a brief stop over
on the way to gaytown.
373
00:24:00,288 --> 00:24:01,956
But you said...
374
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,626
Just because I bust a nut
in a snatch instead of
having an ass-gasm,
375
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:07,830
does not change the fact
that I'm a card-carrying 'mo.
376
00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:09,847
Chill, ladies.
377
00:24:09,914 --> 00:24:12,433
I've got just the new
thing for you to try.
378
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:13,968
No more gay bar drinks.
379
00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:16,220
They're too sweet.
380
00:24:16,271 --> 00:24:18,139
The worst heartburn
from the last one.
381
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:19,356
Me too.
382
00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:20,591
Not even if they're free?
383
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,145
- Done.
- Okay.
384
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:25,446
It's an aquapolitan.
385
00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:27,448
It's grapefruit and
cranberry juice.
386
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:29,700
Sugar, mint, tabasco sauce,
387
00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,902
club soda,
vodka, ice,
champagne
388
00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:33,988
and lime.
389
00:24:34,823 --> 00:24:36,457
Wow.
390
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:40,110
The only way to make
this drink gayer is to
stir it with your penis.
391
00:24:43,798 --> 00:24:45,466
Bottoms up.
To heartburn.
392
00:24:50,472 --> 00:24:51,722
Oh, wow.
393
00:24:53,008 --> 00:24:53,924
Ah, Tyler,
394
00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:57,107
did you actually stir
this with your penis?
395
00:24:57,229 --> 00:25:23,030
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