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1
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- Yeah. Fuck this !
- Yeah.
2
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:38,440
Giddy up, bitches - Operation Steal
My Dads' booze is happening now.
3
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,720
What ?
4
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,680
It's just - I wasn't really gonna go
to... to Riley's.
5
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,360
Oh well unfortunately sometimes
6
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,760
we have to walk through the valley of
the shadow of death so let's go.
7
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,320
Are you going to puke ? Do you want me
to stick my fingers down your throat ?
8
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,760
- That's okay. Thank you though.
- You did that for me once.
9
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,080
It was actually the sweetest thing
anybody has ever done for me.
10
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,720
- But I'm sure you got off on it.
- Definitely. Um -
11
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,840
- I have to tell you something.
- What ?
12
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,200
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
13
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,320
Babies !
14
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,840
I made V-day sho-ko-lah-tays,
with a special love spell in them.
15
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,320
So if you eat them -
which you fucking better -
16
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,200
just know that you're gonna get into
all kinds of horny shit
17
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,960
and your truest, deepest, darkest
desires will be coming true tonight.
18
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,120
I kinda believe in magic, do you ?
19
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,120
Let's go.
20
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,960
You guys !
Everyone say thank you Zaddy Daddy !
21
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,120
Thank you Zaddy Daddy !
22
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,240
Is she talking about her actual dad ?
23
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,600
White girls need to use "Daddy"
less literally.
24
00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,040
Thank you Zaddy Daddy.
25
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,600
Maybe we can just stop
checking our phones.
26
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,240
It's the kids
thanking you for the party bus.
27
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,760
Even though it was my idea
to surprise them with a limo.
28
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,840
The limo place said the bus would be
more fun.
29
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:14,240
And that's apparently the part
I really struggle with !
30
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,680
Sweetheart. What is going on ?
31
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,200
What is going on ?
That's a really great question.
32
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,480
How are you liking the Grenache ?
33
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,800
It's terrific, you were right.
34
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,240
- It has that wonderful oak.
- Wonderful.
35
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:36,320
What's going on is that our son made up
a fake relationship with a -
36
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,200
with some boy !
Just to upset us.
37
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,680
Pretended to go on dates !
38
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,360
Posted photos !
39
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,560
And obviously Naomi
was in on the entire thing.
40
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,960
Meaning that our house was just
Lie Central.
41
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,880
And it doesn't seem to bother you.
And I just don't quite understand that.
42
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,520
There's a lot of things
I don't understand.
43
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,760
"Oaky" wine !
44
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,000
If it tastes like bark
why is that good ?
45
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,200
Did you never wonder
this whole time
46
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,080
if he was making it up ?
47
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,400
Lovebirds ! Ready for another drink ?
48
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,360
Oh shit !
49
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,400
What ?
50
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,640
The freezer broke
and the magic is fucking fucked !
51
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,240
No, it's okay. The magic
was just to put out good energy
52
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,440
and to manifest or whatever.
The secret's definitely not out !
53
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,560
Let's go, bitches !
54
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,720
Where are you ?
55
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,400
- Out front.
- What are you doing ?
56
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,160
- Uh. My dad called.
- Okay.
57
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,560
Can you come and be gross
and PDA with me ?
58
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,480
I wanna annoy all the single people.
I wanna be that girl tonight.
59
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,800
Wait I see you.
60
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,080
Hi !
61
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,520
What ?
What was that ?
62
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,280
I...
63
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:34,480
I think you... are amazing.
64
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,080
- Is this because of the fake-dating ?
- No.
65
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,560
Because I feel like you overreacted
to all of it.
66
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,600
- Like the Nathan thing... His mom.
- No, I...
67
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,480
Or not. And I just have, like,
major character issues
68
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:54,360
and am deeply fucked up and hide it
under this very sparkly exterior.
69
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,080
Okay, so why are you breaking up
with me ?
70
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,480
I'm really boring and nerdy.
71
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,200
Like I don't even get why you like me.
72
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,800
Or... I don't know.
73
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,680
Sometimes I wonder if it's
74
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,080
more that you just
75
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,560
like how much I like you.
76
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:34,280
But if you like me so much, then
why are you breaking up with me ?
77
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:40,240
You are the smartest, funniest -
78
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,560
That's just... Don't do that.
That's...
79
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,360
Like, no.
80
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,800
Could we just like...
81
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,080
find a roof somewhere and you can write
a quote on the wall
82
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,040
and talk to me about
Dungeons and Dragons
83
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,160
and I can like feel like maybe
the whole world isn't shit ?
84
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,760
Or could we just go anywhere ?
85
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,880
Hey, man.
Have you seen Delilah ?
86
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,200
Can I get a cup ?
87
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,720
Girl. You have to tell him.
88
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,480
I know. But I was also just thinking.
89
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:41,000
There is also a version where I don't
tell her and she never finds out.
90
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,760
Sometimes not telling is better,
like when you shouldn't tell someone
91
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,680
they look good in dark lipstick
when they look dead.
92
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,600
You literally just told me
I look good in dark lipstick today.
93
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:53,520
No ! I just...
At first I wasn't sure, but.
94
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,360
Also everyone lies all the time,
and when you think about it,
95
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,920
some lies, almost all of them, are,
like, more true than the actual truth.
96
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,400
I really agree with that by the way.
97
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:06,640
Hey. I need weed.
I'm driving for blackout.
98
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,600
Oh by the way I just got dumped.
99
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,680
Yeah. Literally just now.
He's waiting outside for his dad.
100
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,480
It's not your fault.
101
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,120
But can we turn up the music
or moshpit in the trampoline
102
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,520
cuz I am so sick of being judged for
who I am.
103
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,600
Like I am a lot and I told everyone
that from the fucking start !
104
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,520
Yes, come on. Shit.
105
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,440
Hi.
106
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,880
Even though this is literally
none of my business
107
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,000
I just wanted to say that
I was the one who started the lie.
108
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,520
Like he was just doing
me a favor.
109
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,280
Yeah, no.
110
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,240
I think...
111
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,920
- That wasn't fully it.
- He genuinely really likes you !
112
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,320
It's like... You bring out
really good things in him.
113
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,680
Like he's more real when he's with you.
114
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,560
- You're a really good friend.
- No, I'm just his yappy Chihuahua.
115
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,120
Yeah. I don't think so.
116
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,240
My dad's here.
117
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,080
- Hi loverboy, want a chocolate ?
- No, I don't.
118
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,080
Turns out I gave out the wrong
chocolates on the bus.
119
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,640
Those were the truth-telling ones.
120
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,520
These are the love ones. But they could
help your stone-cold heart.
121
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,720
Yeah.
I don't think much can help with that.
122
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,840
You're probably right.
Also tell Greta not to leave.
123
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,160
Greta, don't leave !
124
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,680
Come on !
125
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,800
I used to hate Valentine's Day too.
126
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,560
But then I realized it's actually
a very entertaining holiday.
127
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,400
It's all about watching other people
crumble.
128
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:08,080
Like some years my dads
scream over which rom-com to watch
129
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,880
and it used to disturb me
130
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,520
but now I'm like yes, popcorn please.
131
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,080
Oh, my God !
132
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,440
So we could eat the truth ones,
133
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,000
and then I could unleash on
Delilah and Naomi.
134
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,040
Because technically it is
after Winter Formal.
135
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,520
And who would you unleash on ?
136
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,080
It's kinda obvious... I guess ?
137
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:34,400
Have you guys seen Delilah ?
Are those more of those chocolates ?
138
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,480
Thank you so much !
These are so good !
139
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,520
- Hi.
- Hi.
140
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,480
- I'm not sure where Naomi is.
- That's okay.
141
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,560
You want a chocolate ?
142
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,400
That's one of the magic love ones,
by the way.
143
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,080
I have to find my bag.
144
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:02,760
I have been wanting to tell you that
I'm kinda really blown away by you.
145
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,080
How strong you are.
146
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,240
Next to my brother, I think you're
probably the strongest person I know ?
147
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,920
And like,
148
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,480
I love the whole feminine-niminism
thing that we're doing with Naomi
149
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,560
and it being not traditional and um -
150
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,120
the whole patriarch thing
that you were saying.
151
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,680
Also ever since you turned me on to
Socialism I'm like that's really cool
152
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,120
and more people need to know about
that.
153
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,920
- But there's just one problem.
- What's that ?
154
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,760
I don't want to date Naomi.
155
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,240
Oh but you do.
Let's go find her, she's amazing !
156
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,800
And you don't know all the things
we've been through together !
157
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,920
No I know - What ?
- no, I mean. Yes.
158
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,360
I mean, I like her. But...
159
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,280
I want to be in a two-person thing.
160
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,960
With you.
161
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,160
I'm sorry, I know that sounds
really traditional and boring.
162
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,800
And I wasn't gonna say anything,
but my brother was just like,
163
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,200
say how you feel,
be as strong as her.
164
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,000
Why do you keep saying strong ?
165
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,040
'Sup.
166
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,840
Cool.
167
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,840
Wait, why "strong ?"
168
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,720
- Oh my God. Hi.
- How's it going ?
169
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,680
I don't really want to be here.
170
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,960
I love when Gretita speaks her truth.
171
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,320
Gretita's had a lot of chocolate
tonight, so that...
172
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,920
It might be coming out
more than usual.
173
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:26,960
Do you know where Naomi is ?
174
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,080
- Do you know where the fuck Naomi is ?
- No.
175
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,760
Go ! As fast as you can.
176
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,400
- Are they back together ?
- Who ?
177
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,600
Greta and Luz...
178
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,160
- I'll find out.
- No !
179
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,720
Hi !
180
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,040
It's Valentine's Day
and I think love sucks.
181
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:59,920
I used to not but I do now
cuz I've had my heart broken.
182
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,040
And...
183
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:07,360
But never mind because it's literally
fine and I'm better off without him,
184
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,560
but what I was gonna say is - why are
you all looking at me weird ?
185
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,680
- You want just go chill ?
- No, I wanna talk about love !
186
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,480
I personally am of the belief that
it's like
187
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,400
more like a brief homicidal tendency
188
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,360
and less like everlasting goodness.
189
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,400
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
190
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,440
Shit !
191
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,960
No !
192
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,800
Oh hi. Can you make sure
people don't come in here, please ?
193
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,040
- You fucking told Cooper ?
- Told him what ?
194
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,320
I was on wisdom teeth drugs
plus multiple percocets.
195
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,960
- And when the drugs wore off ?
- But just so you know...
196
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,000
I was so high I was actually talking
about drowning people in my own family.
197
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,240
Yeah. Checks out !
198
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,720
Seriously, he was so impressed
and kept saying how strong you were.
199
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,760
I'm not strong ! I didn't do anything.
200
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,520
I just had a fucking baby in a bathroom
I didn't even know I was going to have.
201
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,000
And I just didn't want anyone
to fucking know
202
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,520
so I could just be me and not -
why did you do that ?
203
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,040
I'm sorry.
204
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,120
That doesn't make it better !
205
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,280
Also. Just so you know,
Cooper wants to date me and not you.
206
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:21,160
Hey ! Remember that party when
you kept saying you weren't invited ?
207
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,800
I was intrigued and kinda sad for you
at the same time.
208
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,360
What ?
209
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,200
Hey, did you eat those magic
truth-spell chocolates ?
210
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,320
Maybe it's the weed,
'cause suddenly I want to go out
211
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,960
and take it to people I should not,
like...
212
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,840
I was actually going to tell Nathan
that when I hear the words "white boy",
213
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,600
he's always been the first thing
that comes to mind.
214
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,520
Are you okay ?
215
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,800
Shit. Come with me.
216
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,720
Sorry.
217
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,080
- Hi.
- Hey.
218
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,760
- Is it okay that I came ?
- Yeah, absolutely.
219
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,560
- Is it ?
- Yeah.
220
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:14,160
But this is funny.
You having a Valentine's Day party.
221
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,840
It's not really for Valentine's Day -
but...
222
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,520
Why is that funny ?
223
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,560
Cuz don't we think about romance
the same ?
224
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,320
- Did you see that stoner playroom ?
- Yeah you can't go in there.
225
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,720
Let me just check on that.
226
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:34,440
Romance is not all like hearts and
rainbows and roses and shit.
227
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,680
Like... There's a darkness in it and
we see it.
228
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,960
- I think that's okay.
- Uh, how do you know how I see it ?
229
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,840
Cuz of that night in the motel.
I mean, I knew why you were there.
230
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,720
I thought we agreed that we were not
going to talk about that night.
231
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,720
Well. You said can we not talk
about it. And I said okay.
232
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,960
Okay.
So are you not saying okay anymore ?
233
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,200
You said Greta was a bitch to you,
why wouldn't you just tell her ?
234
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,720
I think that she'd be very upset.
Like very.
235
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,840
So are we okay not saying anything ?
236
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,160
It's funny cuz both of you keep saying
you're not something
237
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,800
and it definitely feels like
something energy and...
238
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,920
I don't know what I'm getting out
of all this... fuck.
239
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,280
This is not the conversation
I want to be having with you right now.
240
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,680
Okay. What conversation
did you want to be having ?
241
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,120
I like you. I want to be with you.
242
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,680
Hi. I need to talk to you about
something now, it's very critical.
243
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,560
- Come on !
- I'm sorry.
244
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,920
Did you need saving ?
I got you.
245
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,480
- Mom will not leave me the fuck alone.
- Why ?
246
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,400
It's time for shots !
247
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,000
Wait,
what's going on with your mom ?
248
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,880
I'm sorry,
but my kids come first.
249
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,360
And I need a distraction
from this barrage of blame.
250
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,160
Not blame. What I said was -
251
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,760
what do you think we did to make Nathan
feel like he needed to lie ?
252
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,480
Well, we means me.
And I don't know what I did.
253
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,480
And apparently you knew
he was lying all along.
254
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,320
I wondered.
255
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,200
And if um, maybe part of
what made him do it
256
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,000
is that
he doesn't always see us being honest ?
257
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,240
Okay, you know what, I think
we should just get the check.
258
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,200
Are we pretending to have what we had ?
259
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,320
I think we put up a pretty good front.
Okay ?
260
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,960
I can never remember if this is Naomi's
code for everything is fine
261
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,920
or everything is definitely not fine.
262
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,920
I think we should go.
We need to go.
263
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,080
- What ?
- I think we need to go.
264
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,960
- No we don't.
- Yeah, she's not answering her phone.
265
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,760
It doesn't matter. She just...
266
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,680
- Hi ! Hello ! Check ?
- Are you kidding me ?
267
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,960
- What ?
- Where is your sister ?
268
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,600
- I don't know. Call her.
- She's not answering her phone.
269
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,680
Something's wrong.
We're coming to get you right now.
270
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,880
What ? No ! I'm staying.
271
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,560
Okay ! That's it !
272
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:25,360
- We are coming for you right now !
- Oh my God Mom what is going on ?
273
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,200
You know I've been going through
a hard time with - everything,
274
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,640
so can you let me be with my friends
and not all miserable and depressed ?
275
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,920
Don't.
276
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,640
- A hard time with the breakup ?
- With a lot of stuff. But yeah.
277
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,520
Do not !
278
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,160
Because it's hard for us to understand
279
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,960
how you could break up with someone
you were never dating.
280
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,840
And please choose your next words
very carefully.
281
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,560
Nathan !
Come swimming !
282
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,320
- Who told you ?
- It doesn't matter.
283
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,040
- Was it Naomi ?
- Why did you lie ?
284
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,840
I don't know Mom, maybe because
you don't want to hear the truth
285
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,520
and can't accept me for who I am -
who told you ?
286
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,080
- Why did you lie ?
- Oh, my God.
287
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,560
You can't keep things from me
and then be mad at me for lying.
288
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,120
You know what ? You're right,
all of you are right.
289
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,520
I do lie.
I do.
290
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,520
Because there's no way
I could ever tell you
291
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,480
the truth
of how terrified I am for you.
292
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,560
You are my only son.
293
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,040
And I would lie down
on train tracks for you.
294
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,120
But I am so afraid for you.
295
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,840
So from now on I will be
totally honest
296
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,560
and tell you everything
you do not want to hear.
297
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,000
Chingada ! Sorry.
298
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,160
You can't go crazy in there.
299
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,800
Who told you ?
300
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,960
Hey, I want to keep talking too.
301
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,520
I feel like we're the same person.
Cuz I see how your mind's working.
302
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,680
Just like how can I not piss off this
girl who just told me she liked me
303
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,360
so she doesn't go blow everything up.
304
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,360
Are you going to tell Greta ?
305
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,280
You fucking told my mother ?
306
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:12,400
No. She figured it out.
But I didn't cover fast enough.
307
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,960
Why didn't you tell me after ?
308
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,120
Okay goodbye.
309
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,320
Wait !
What are you gonna go do right now ?
310
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,320
Fuck, am I being paranoid
or is she going to tell her ?
311
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,120
Um okay but like,
what the fuck with my mom ?
312
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,080
I'm a lying piece of shit.
I'm sorry. I just...
313
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,280
I should've told you.
I should've told Greta.
314
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,920
I can only fix that one right now.
315
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,760
So I'm sorry, okay ?
I'm really sorry.
316
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,760
We're gonna see if I can hold my breath
for the whole Star-Spangled Banner !
317
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,840
I'm really wondering about those
chocolates, shit's getting fucked up.
318
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,200
Like this is serious Red Wedding vibes.
319
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,360
- I'm leaving.
- Okay.
320
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,720
Okay ?
321
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,240
So like friends for 16 years,
and it's just like "okay" ?
322
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:02,240
The 16-year friend who dumped me
to go to Winter Formal with a guy ?
323
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,960
- You said it was okay.
- I obviously didn't mean it.
324
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,720
How was I supposed to know that ?
325
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,400
Because you just should've !
326
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,920
Just like you should've known
how much it sucked
327
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,160
that you were sticking
your fingers in my brother's mouth
328
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,520
and going on about how much
his hair made you want to cum ?
329
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,160
- He wasn't even into me !
- That doesn't matter and you know it.
330
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,840
I'm sorry if the Cooper thing
upsets you
331
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,760
but I guess, I don't know,
you reap what you sow or whatever.
332
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,400
Oh you want to talk about reaping
what you sow ?
333
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,120
Because your sister-wife over there
hates you
334
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,200
and I'm not too in love with you either
right now.
335
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,280
Is that it, really ?
336
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,800
Also, for the future,
337
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,080
I would really recommend
not fucking with a witch.
338
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,800
- Nathan ! Come in !
- I kinda have to go.
339
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,760
Oh my God this is a fucking party
and nobody wants to party with me !
340
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,440
Fuck you all you'll regret it !
341
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,600
Jesus fuck !
342
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:42,200
Oh my God !
Look at you !
343
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,840
Yes !
Come through Titanic !
344
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,520
Oh my God.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
345
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,120
I got it. Yes !
346
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,960
Come here.
347
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,200
I got you.
348
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,720
Fuck it. I'm just gonna take a shower.
349
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,720
Are you cold ?
350
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,680
No, I'm okay.
351
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,360
- Jesus ! Fuck !
- Sorry.
352
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,360
- Is Delilah here ?
- No !
353
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,440
Sorry.
354
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:09,560
I'm gonna go - finger-paint.
355
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,200
I feel bad. About the Naomi thing.
356
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,280
It's not your fault.
But about the other part...
357
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,520
It's just...
358
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,280
you and I aren't right for each other.
Remotely. Like in any way.
359
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:24,840
Sure. I get it.
360
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:29,480
I just want to say one thing about
the Panda Express thing.
361
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,560
Do you know how Avery Foster got
fingered by the guy who ate Hot Cheetos
362
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,840
and that's like all anyone would talk
about ?
363
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,480
She was so mad, she was like, if
that's what they're gonna talk about,
364
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,720
I'm going to get the student store
to sell better snacks
365
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,000
including Hot Cheetos
and now she's the Hot Cheeto Hero ?
366
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,240
I was just thinking,
with you -
367
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,720
- Is what I'm saying bad ?
- Are you saying to own my story ?
368
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,360
Maybe ?
369
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,480
- Sorry.
- It's coming from someone who's...
370
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,560
... so straight and cis and not queer,
it's just ugh -
371
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,760
Yeah no, I get it. I'm sorry.
372
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,880
Fuck !
That was good !
373
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,520
Come on, I have to get something !
374
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,720
Wait, wait, I wanted -
375
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,360
Oh shit, sorry.
376
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,040
Aren't you freezing ?
377
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,400
I'm fine.
378
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,760
God I'm fucked up.
379
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,800
I'm sorry about Bo.
380
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:10,120
No, it's not you. He just doesn't think
that we're right for each other.
381
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,360
Yeah. Well...
382
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,480
There are plenty of people
in the world not right for each other
383
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,840
who are actually, like,
really right for each other.
384
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,200
Yeah like who ?
385
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,920
Actually I can't think of any
right now but
386
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,200
I'm sure they exist.
387
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,360
And "opposites attract," right ?
388
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,480
Oh God I hate that voicemail.
389
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,120
I loved it.
390
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,080
And I love that you're giving me
relationship advice right now.
391
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,200
Yeah, like I have anything to offer.
392
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,880
I just really want to kiss you
right now.
393
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,240
Do you actually ?
394
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,480
I'm so sorry.
395
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,760
Shit !
396
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,000
Hi.
397
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,440
I just want to say that with the whole
Winter Formal thing
398
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,720
I fucking suck
and I'm sorry.
399
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,000
And tonight I'm going to bury
this like the Maori do -
400
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,280
not in a cultural appropriation way -
but just because it's time.
401
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,880
And if you don't wanna be there
I get it, but -
402
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,960
if you were there with me,
I would really really love that.
403
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,160
Hi, can we bury the placenta
in your yard ? It's good for plants.
404
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,560
Okay... Yeah, sure.
405
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,160
Oh, fuck !
406
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:36,400
No !
407
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,120
God damn it !
408
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,800
Get the fuck out !
Get out of here right now !
409
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,200
Go, go ! Right now !
410
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,080
I'm sorry
for not being a better friend.
411
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,520
What ? No. I'm...
412
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,560
I'm the one who's always keeping things
to myself.
413
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,840
I need to be a lot bettet at that.
414
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,120
- About that. Did Luz find you ?
- Wait. Can I say something first ?
415
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,800
If I don't say it right now
I might not ? So.
416
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,360
That thing that you asked before
at the pre-party ?
417
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,880
There's something I've been
noticing about myself.
418
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,520
I can like someone.
Like really like them.
419
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,320
But when it comes to
420
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,600
kissing or making out or whatever,
421
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,080
I don't want that.
422
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,920
So I don't know how it could work.
423
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:21,480
Between us.
424
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,320
Even if you wanted it to.
425
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,120
What I said that night
wasn't because of me not liking you.
426
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,040
'Cause I never stopped liking you.
427
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:39,720
I actually um -
428
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,600
I love you.
429
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,720
I love you.
430
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,320
But um.
431
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,240
That night at the motel...
432
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,640
I left -
433
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,440
Cops !
434
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,880
No ! No cops ! It's just me !
I'll put the music back on in a sec.
435
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,240
I just need to say something
and I need to say it for everyone.
436
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,000
I haven't been living in shame,
but -
437
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,440
I also haven't been living
the truest version of myself either.
438
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,440
And I just want to say
that from experience
439
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,680
secrets fucking suck.
440
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,760
And you should just be true to yourself
and
441
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,640
own your story but -
442
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,320
Okay sorry, you can go back to
body shots or whatever.
443
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,280
Okay.
444
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,040
Just so everyone knows - this is
probably definitely a coincidence
445
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,080
and not a racist thing -
446
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,160
but I'm Panda Express Girl !
Okay thanks.
447
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,000
Oh my God !
448
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,120
Put the music back on !
449
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,560
Mom and Dad are almost here.
450
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,400
Yeah. That was my night too.
451
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,960
At one point I just had to lock myself
in the bathroom and play Candy Crush.
452
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,800
And I hate everyone except you.
453
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,720
To Mom
where r u
454
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,960
I forgot to cancel tennis tomorrow !
455
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,320
I think we need to take a break.
456
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,760
Mom ?
457
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,840
- Chester ?
- Hi.
458
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,880
- Are you okay ?
- Sorry it's the middle of the night.
459
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,520
- Where are you ?
- I'm just um -
460
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,520
I'm sitting outside.
461
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,560
Are you okay ?
462
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:24,920
Yeah.
463
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,040
I'm sorry, Sam.
464
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,800
It's okay.
465
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:40,760
It's really okay.
466
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,600
Is it ?
467
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,800
Yeah.
468
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,560
Yeah it is.
469
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,440
Would it be okay if we just
sat on the phone for a while
470
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,040
and didn't say anything ?
471
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,560
Yeah.
472
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,040
Are you still there ?
473
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:33,600
Yeah.
474
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,000
Thank you, Sam.
475
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,080
Good night, Chester.
476
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,920
It's you.
37259
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