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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:19,984 --> 00:01:22,421 Okay. So these are the rules. 2 00:01:22,552 --> 00:01:24,859 You have to get from here to there 3 00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:27,775 without touching the floor or the light. 4 00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,777 All right, Bearbear, you can do this. 5 00:01:29,907 --> 00:01:32,040 Just have to go slow, okay? 6 00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:46,141 You can do it, Bearbear. You just have to jump. 7 00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:48,186 Okay, ready? 8 00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:14,865 Sometimes I can feel the sky as it rotates. 9 00:02:20,088 --> 00:02:22,568 It scatters my thoughts, creating this... 10 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,615 sound. 11 00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,010 And it'll grow louder. 12 00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:32,013 More aggressive. 13 00:02:34,798 --> 00:02:36,017 Like two people fighting. 14 00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:41,892 I look up and I know I can keep my shit together. 15 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:45,896 And then it rains. 16 00:03:53,921 --> 00:03:55,487 It's gonna stop, baby girl. 17 00:03:55,618 --> 00:03:58,490 If it doesn't, I'll be the only kid in class 18 00:03:58,577 --> 00:03:59,840 with an indoor swimming pool. 19 00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:03,974 Ooh, quefancy. 20 00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:08,152 You don't need a flood to stand out. 21 00:04:09,066 --> 00:04:10,981 You've got grease all over your face. 22 00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:16,030 Oh, yeah. You, like, totally got it now. 23 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,814 It looks all bad. 24 00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:27,868 It will grow louder. 25 00:04:30,783 --> 00:04:32,176 The lights will turn off. 26 00:04:34,135 --> 00:04:35,092 The roof will cave in. 27 00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:39,923 Everything will fall apart. 28 00:04:43,361 --> 00:04:44,710 And I wonder if you can hear me. 29 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:13,914 Don't let go. 30 00:05:15,437 --> 00:05:16,394 Don't let go. 31 00:05:17,874 --> 00:05:18,919 Please. 32 00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:38,590 Hold your hand. 33 00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:41,376 No, don't let me. It's my fault. I did it. 34 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,205 Who's she talking to? 35 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,600 Jesus. 36 00:05:48,992 --> 00:05:50,124 Is he listening? 37 00:05:51,255 --> 00:05:52,300 I don't know, baby girl. 38 00:05:53,605 --> 00:05:54,911 Is she crazy? 39 00:06:01,483 --> 00:06:02,701 I don't know, baby girl. 40 00:06:02,832 --> 00:06:03,789 You're on fire. 41 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,139 You set it on fire! 42 00:06:07,271 --> 00:06:10,492 I'm holding your fucking hand, 43 00:06:10,622 --> 00:06:13,408 fuck you, you fucking ugly fucker, fucker, fucker... 44 00:06:13,495 --> 00:06:16,889 Hold your hand. I'm holding your hand. 45 00:06:31,426 --> 00:06:32,586 You got lost, Chama, or what? 46 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,820 Where you going? 47 00:06:36,735 --> 00:06:38,302 Don't be all nosy, Matias. 48 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,479 She has a job interview. 49 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,438 Oh, where at? 50 00:06:43,829 --> 00:06:45,135 You my PO now or something? 51 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,976 Look, it's, like, a good job opportunity, okay? 52 00:07:00,498 --> 00:07:02,152 Gonna pay real good, 53 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:03,683 then you won't be seeing us no more. 54 00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:08,506 Who names their kid Chama? 55 00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,467 It's short for Elena. 56 00:07:14,469 --> 00:07:16,384 - No, it isn't. - It is, if I say it is. 57 00:07:17,515 --> 00:07:19,555 Anybody ever tell you you got spiders in your veins? 58 00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,244 Anyone ever tell you to put on some shoes? 59 00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:32,835 Come on, baby, get your bag. 60 00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:36,230 That you? 61 00:07:37,187 --> 00:07:38,319 Yeah, that's me. 62 00:07:38,797 --> 00:07:40,147 Hey, good luck out there. 63 00:07:45,108 --> 00:07:46,805 Let me see. 64 00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,567 You're gonna lose everything if you don't close your backpack. 65 00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:51,375 Come on. Got everything you need? 66 00:07:52,115 --> 00:07:54,161 Mm-hmm. 67 00:07:54,248 --> 00:07:55,573 I'm gonna be right here, waiting for you after school. 68 00:07:55,597 --> 00:07:56,424 Really? 69 00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:58,687 Yes, really. 70 00:07:58,817 --> 00:08:00,012 Are you gonna give me shit today, too? 71 00:08:00,036 --> 00:08:01,429 Come on. 72 00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:02,908 - I love you. - I love you. 73 00:08:07,348 --> 00:08:08,436 Have fun. 74 00:08:23,755 --> 00:08:25,279 I remember being her age. 75 00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,562 That's when I learned how to lie. 76 00:08:31,023 --> 00:08:32,764 I used to tell teachers I was sick. 77 00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:34,567 That's why I was missing school. 78 00:08:36,638 --> 00:08:38,379 When I did go, I tried to blend in. 79 00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:41,077 I brushed my hair, 80 00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,339 cleaned my nails... 81 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,430 but inside I felt ants crawling up my skin. 82 00:08:48,476 --> 00:08:50,739 I just wanted to grow up, so everything would be better. 83 00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:52,001 Give me a chance. 84 00:08:54,308 --> 00:08:55,439 I can do the work. 85 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:58,399 I can! 86 00:08:58,877 --> 00:09:00,357 I'm sure you can. 87 00:09:01,053 --> 00:09:03,752 Come on, quiz me. I know this shit. 88 00:09:03,882 --> 00:09:05,202 When I was younger I used to watch 89 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,755 my abuelo tear cars apart. 90 00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:08,844 He taught me literally everything. 91 00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:12,021 I got an '85 Buick LeSabre I rebuilt. 92 00:09:12,804 --> 00:09:14,197 Runs perfectly... 93 00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:16,199 if it had a fuel pump. 94 00:09:16,852 --> 00:09:18,549 But I can't get a new fuel pump 95 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,560 if I don't got a job and if I don't got a job... 96 00:09:21,552 --> 00:09:22,945 Look. 97 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,880 I'm just trying to get back on my feet, okay? 98 00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:32,128 I have a daughter. 99 00:09:35,914 --> 00:09:38,265 Look, the economy's kicking my ass. 100 00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:39,831 I'm just not hiring right now. 101 00:11:30,725 --> 00:11:33,118 Abueloused to say that if you find a black feather... 102 00:11:36,644 --> 00:11:37,732 it's a warning. 103 00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,340 We made dinner. 104 00:15:58,470 --> 00:15:59,750 There's some left in the fridge. 105 00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:02,039 She's sleeping, Elena. 106 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,563 She's my daughter. 107 00:16:04,215 --> 00:16:05,521 I know she's sleeping, okay? 108 00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,219 Don't look at me like that. 109 00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:11,353 - You're in my home. - That the state pays for. 110 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,012 I was robbed, okay? 111 00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:19,785 Don't pretend like you care. 112 00:16:21,145 --> 00:16:22,843 Because if you gave two shits, 113 00:16:22,973 --> 00:16:24,627 you'd drive around and look for them. 114 00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:27,021 Oh, I would drive around and look for your shoes? 115 00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:28,955 Why would you ever want to look for the imaginary person 116 00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,198 who stole your shoes, Elena? 117 00:16:30,328 --> 00:16:31,808 That's not my name. 118 00:16:31,939 --> 00:16:33,219 Stop talking to me like a child. 119 00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,090 You know, Friday's her birthday. 120 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,683 I fucking know Friday's her birthday. 121 00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:38,206 If you weren't my sister... 122 00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:40,774 So, what? You'd go? So fucking go! 123 00:16:40,904 --> 00:16:42,471 You are just like Mom. 124 00:16:43,994 --> 00:16:45,256 One of these times... 125 00:16:45,779 --> 00:16:46,899 they're gonna take her away. 126 00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:52,307 Get the fuck out of my house. 127 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,439 Get the fuck out! 128 00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:08,748 You know, I used to have this dream... 129 00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,011 that I got, like, no face... 130 00:19:12,055 --> 00:19:14,405 and I'm just a shadow, 131 00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:15,755 floating over the desert. 132 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,890 And I got, like, this bag of hammers 133 00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:23,110 and I'm just, like, chucking them at cows. 134 00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:25,286 What do you think that means? 135 00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:27,462 That you need serious help. 136 00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:29,638 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 137 00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:39,387 You can't just, like, open it. 138 00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,955 - Why not? - You broke it. 139 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,000 Last year, Nevaeh loved red. 140 00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:47,961 I think this year, she likes the color purple. 141 00:19:49,527 --> 00:19:51,791 Like that Oprah movie about racism? 142 00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:56,056 Balloons. 143 00:20:06,544 --> 00:20:08,068 You never, like, look up your dreams 144 00:20:08,198 --> 00:20:09,318 and find out what they mean? 145 00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:11,985 I don't dream. 146 00:20:13,247 --> 00:20:15,162 Every bitch dreams. 147 00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:17,120 Come on, you probably just don't remember it. 148 00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:18,382 Mm-mm. 149 00:20:21,516 --> 00:20:23,636 Maybe that's what I'll study when I go back to school. 150 00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:27,130 Why Chama don't dream? 151 00:20:30,394 --> 00:20:32,222 Stupid. Siempre. 152 00:20:32,353 --> 00:20:34,703 No. 153 00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:37,184 No, for serious. 154 00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,362 I'm going back. 155 00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:43,886 Toaster is one of those bitches from the Heights. 156 00:20:44,017 --> 00:20:45,932 She actually knew her father. 157 00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:47,977 He'd buy her things. 158 00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:50,371 She never worried about nothing. 159 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:52,852 Toaster was all cool. 160 00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:54,331 And I wanted to be her. 161 00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:57,204 She was a dreamer. 162 00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:58,988 I'm going back. 163 00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:02,557 My dad's gonna pay. 164 00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:06,300 It's gonna be like it used to be, you know? 165 00:21:07,605 --> 00:21:08,868 He's gonna be proud of me. 166 00:21:11,609 --> 00:21:13,209 I don't know, maybe I'll be just, like... 167 00:21:14,308 --> 00:21:16,005 some counselor, you know? 168 00:21:18,181 --> 00:21:20,357 Like, help all these bitches out. 169 00:21:23,404 --> 00:21:24,666 I could tell 'em what's up. 170 00:21:28,104 --> 00:21:30,280 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 171 00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:32,892 She'd help me fix everything. 172 00:21:38,114 --> 00:21:39,681 I can make my daughter happy. 173 00:21:44,599 --> 00:21:46,383 I can keep my shit together. 174 00:21:54,304 --> 00:21:56,045 I can make my daughter happy. 175 00:21:56,176 --> 00:21:57,917 I can make my daughter happy. 176 00:22:06,664 --> 00:22:10,277 I can make my daughter happy. 177 00:22:10,407 --> 00:22:13,193 I can make my daughter happy. I can make my daughter happy. 178 00:22:13,323 --> 00:22:15,543 I can make my daughter happy. 179 00:22:15,673 --> 00:22:17,608 I can keep my shit together. I can make my daughter happy. 180 00:22:17,632 --> 00:22:18,938 I can make my daughter happy. 181 00:22:20,678 --> 00:22:22,245 I can keep my shit together. 182 00:22:23,681 --> 00:22:25,379 I can make my daughter happy. 183 00:22:28,512 --> 00:22:30,253 I can keep my shit together. 184 00:23:49,115 --> 00:23:50,290 Hey, baby girl, what's wrong? 185 00:23:51,378 --> 00:23:52,379 I don't know. 186 00:23:53,423 --> 00:23:54,642 Hey. 187 00:23:54,772 --> 00:23:56,165 Don't let bullshit push you. 188 00:24:04,304 --> 00:24:05,914 Sometimes I just want to hide, too. 189 00:24:08,351 --> 00:24:09,396 Just, like, run away. 190 00:24:13,182 --> 00:24:14,879 But everybody's already here, 191 00:24:15,010 --> 00:24:17,056 so you might as well just take all their presents. 192 00:24:27,588 --> 00:24:29,416 You were born two months early, you know why? 193 00:24:30,504 --> 00:24:31,809 Hmm? 194 00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:34,899 Because you were so excited to meet your mama. 195 00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:38,077 And I was to meet you. 196 00:24:40,601 --> 00:24:41,950 There she is. 197 00:24:46,781 --> 00:24:48,435 You're my baby girl, you're all I got. 198 00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:51,568 You're all I got. 199 00:24:56,225 --> 00:24:57,531 I hope that's not true. 200 00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,449 Go on. Have fun, it's your birthday. 201 00:25:51,411 --> 00:25:52,629 I can keep my shit. 202 00:25:56,416 --> 00:25:57,634 Elena? 203 00:26:28,578 --> 00:26:29,538 Elena, are you in there? 204 00:26:43,419 --> 00:26:45,291 Come on. Open up. 205 00:26:45,378 --> 00:26:46,770 Elena. 206 00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:48,907 I've been looking for you everywhere. 207 00:26:50,383 --> 00:26:52,472 You did all right... good, okay? 208 00:26:53,777 --> 00:26:55,214 Not out here to talk shit. 209 00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,219 Hey. 210 00:27:02,699 --> 00:27:04,048 Let's just go out and sing. 211 00:27:18,672 --> 00:27:19,673 Look, you know what? 212 00:27:21,805 --> 00:27:23,111 You don't get to do this. 213 00:27:24,678 --> 00:27:26,245 Not today, this isn't about you. 214 00:27:31,075 --> 00:27:33,730 You think you're so special 215 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,621 and that nobody else matters, but guess what? 216 00:27:37,386 --> 00:27:38,561 They do. 217 00:28:03,325 --> 00:28:04,457 Somebody help me! 218 00:28:06,546 --> 00:28:08,156 Somebody help! 219 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,378 Now! 220 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,020 I know what you all are thinking. 221 00:28:28,785 --> 00:28:30,352 Shit gets all fucked. 222 00:28:30,874 --> 00:28:32,267 But that's just the way it goes. 223 00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:36,184 I had this one bitch try to tell me, 224 00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:39,274 "If you just got a real job, everything would be all right." 225 00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:42,364 Bitch! I have a felony. 226 00:28:42,495 --> 00:28:44,453 Who's gonna hire me? Who's gonna teach me? 227 00:28:45,411 --> 00:28:47,369 All I know is selling dope, hustling. 228 00:28:47,978 --> 00:28:49,850 That's all anyone was willing to show me. 229 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:54,550 So, with four little brothers at home, yeah, 230 00:28:54,681 --> 00:28:57,684 I was gonna hustle to buy them food and, yeah, 231 00:28:57,814 --> 00:28:59,774 I was gonna smoke to forget everything I had done. 232 00:29:00,774 --> 00:29:01,688 And yeah. 233 00:29:02,819 --> 00:29:04,517 Shit's gonna get fucked. 234 00:29:27,714 --> 00:29:29,150 I was once a little girl. 235 00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:33,372 Trying to keep my sister safe. 236 00:29:37,027 --> 00:29:38,594 I thought it would all work out. 237 00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,512 I used to run toAbuelo's. 238 00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,560 He showed me how to fix things. 239 00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,348 You showed me how to break them. 240 00:29:58,962 --> 00:30:00,399 You fucking took them, huh? 241 00:30:00,486 --> 00:30:01,530 Let's go. 242 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,934 You drove around with bottles on the floor. 243 00:30:14,064 --> 00:30:15,805 Your music turned up. 244 00:30:15,936 --> 00:30:17,633 You'd smoke a full pack, 245 00:30:17,764 --> 00:30:20,114 but you still smelled like roses. 246 00:30:24,292 --> 00:30:26,425 We cried as you pulled the glass out of our skin. 247 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,017 I am my mother's daughter. 248 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,390 Elena. 249 00:30:44,704 --> 00:30:46,270 Can you tell me what you were doing? 250 00:30:49,839 --> 00:30:51,275 You're lucky to be alive. 251 00:30:53,974 --> 00:30:55,894 If it hadn't been for the Narcan you'd be dead... 252 00:30:57,804 --> 00:30:59,632 you probably wouldn't be here right now. 253 00:31:04,158 --> 00:31:05,551 How much do you normally use? 254 00:31:09,293 --> 00:31:11,339 Was it an accident or was it intentional? 255 00:31:30,837 --> 00:31:32,578 It's a selfish act, 256 00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:33,988 especially when you're pregnant. 257 00:31:51,727 --> 00:31:52,641 You didn't know? 258 00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:32,028 I was 21. 259 00:32:33,682 --> 00:32:35,379 I'd work on cars, because... 260 00:32:36,598 --> 00:32:37,643 what else am I gonna do? 261 00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:52,745 It was also the last time I used a needle. 262 00:32:54,355 --> 00:32:55,530 Nobody knew. 263 00:32:56,662 --> 00:32:57,576 I was quiet. 264 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,014 But I always seemed in control. 265 00:33:03,407 --> 00:33:04,452 You're doing it all wrong. 266 00:33:06,323 --> 00:33:08,283 You should be cranking it the other way, you know? 267 00:33:09,936 --> 00:33:11,633 I'm tightening the tensioner. 268 00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:14,549 Going clockwise, so the nut can do its job. 269 00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:18,553 That's what's up. 270 00:33:22,078 --> 00:33:22,949 You know, I see you. 271 00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:27,606 You was down at Chopay's the other day. 272 00:33:28,563 --> 00:33:29,912 Looking all cool and shit. 273 00:33:33,394 --> 00:33:36,484 I see you and I want to holler at you, mija. 274 00:33:38,747 --> 00:33:39,618 Why? 275 00:33:42,011 --> 00:33:43,651 Because you look like you need someone to. 276 00:33:48,801 --> 00:33:49,802 So what it is? 277 00:33:51,325 --> 00:33:52,631 Can I help you start it or what? 278 00:34:08,385 --> 00:34:10,823 Santi was all bad. 279 00:34:10,953 --> 00:34:12,476 Smelled like hairspray and sweat. 280 00:34:15,349 --> 00:34:16,742 Reminded me ofAbuelo. 281 00:34:18,961 --> 00:34:20,081 Know how many times he lost? 282 00:34:22,095 --> 00:34:23,400 Five. 283 00:34:23,531 --> 00:34:25,141 He worshiped boxing 284 00:34:25,228 --> 00:34:27,013 and the boxers who wouldn't quit. 285 00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,860 Know how many times he's got back up and won? 286 00:34:28,928 --> 00:34:30,320 59, baby! 287 00:34:31,408 --> 00:34:33,386 He just sticks out his tongue and he knows no matter 288 00:34:33,410 --> 00:34:35,151 where he grow up, no matter how he grow up, 289 00:34:35,238 --> 00:34:36,758 what he could do, you know what I mean? 290 00:34:38,198 --> 00:34:40,069 He says, 291 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,071 "Hey, pass me the ball, pass me the bills. 292 00:34:43,246 --> 00:34:45,118 Albuquerque. 293 00:34:45,205 --> 00:34:47,816 Up to you, champ. Albuquerque. 294 00:34:47,947 --> 00:34:49,862 I'm still the champ. 295 00:34:49,992 --> 00:34:51,864 Hey, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm still your champ!" 296 00:34:53,996 --> 00:34:55,389 I'd tattoo him on my body. 297 00:34:57,347 --> 00:34:58,947 And he promised to never let me get sick. 298 00:35:01,047 --> 00:35:03,876 We'd get a house together. 299 00:35:04,006 --> 00:35:07,793 I'd get pregnant. Stop using. 300 00:35:07,923 --> 00:35:11,144 I'd worship him, because he gave me Nevaeh. 301 00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:14,930 She'd be born at home, just like I was. 302 00:35:15,061 --> 00:35:17,411 He'd play the guitar for our daughter. 303 00:35:17,541 --> 00:35:19,501 He wasn't very good, but I didn't know any better. 304 00:35:21,502 --> 00:35:22,677 Then he was gone. 305 00:35:24,026 --> 00:35:25,027 I was alone. 306 00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:27,682 And seven years later... 307 00:35:47,223 --> 00:35:48,529 I need you to nod your head 308 00:35:48,616 --> 00:35:50,016 that you understand what's going on. 309 00:35:52,054 --> 00:35:53,134 It's in your best interest. 310 00:35:58,104 --> 00:36:00,367 An investigator from CPS is gonna sit down 311 00:36:00,497 --> 00:36:01,542 - with your daughter. - No. 312 00:36:02,978 --> 00:36:04,153 You're going to scare her. 313 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,112 She's already scared. 314 00:36:13,162 --> 00:36:14,402 We've got a house full of love, 315 00:36:14,468 --> 00:36:16,339 you don't even know. 316 00:36:16,470 --> 00:36:17,926 Do you have a contact number for her father? 317 00:36:17,950 --> 00:36:19,230 What do you think he's gonna do? 318 00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:21,605 You just want to take away my baby. 319 00:36:21,736 --> 00:36:23,782 Our intention is never to remove a child 320 00:36:23,912 --> 00:36:25,087 from their home. 321 00:36:25,914 --> 00:36:27,742 Unless we feel the child is in danger. 322 00:36:29,048 --> 00:36:30,397 Do I look dangerous? 323 00:36:32,181 --> 00:36:33,922 The situation at the party... 324 00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:34,923 Was an accident! 325 00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,974 It was... it was... 326 00:36:47,588 --> 00:36:48,937 It was an accident. 327 00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:51,940 It's never gonna happen again. 328 00:36:56,379 --> 00:36:57,659 Do you understand why we're here? 329 00:37:08,565 --> 00:37:10,698 Hey, baby girl. Hey. 330 00:37:24,407 --> 00:37:25,626 It's okay. 331 00:37:26,322 --> 00:37:27,280 Here. 332 00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:30,718 Hey, Bearbear. 333 00:37:36,550 --> 00:37:39,205 I'm sorry. I messed up. 334 00:37:40,119 --> 00:37:41,990 Everything's gonna go back to normal. 335 00:37:44,123 --> 00:37:45,864 Will you stop writing down everything I say? 336 00:37:59,442 --> 00:38:00,704 Come here. 337 00:38:16,068 --> 00:38:18,026 - I love you. - I love you. 338 00:38:43,225 --> 00:38:44,226 Fuck them, no? 339 00:38:49,057 --> 00:38:50,929 Fuck them for judging us. 340 00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:53,932 You're a good mother. 341 00:38:54,671 --> 00:38:55,803 I just wanna cry. 342 00:38:57,370 --> 00:38:59,024 But nothing's coming out. 343 00:38:59,850 --> 00:39:00,939 They don't know shit. 344 00:39:04,986 --> 00:39:06,205 What's wrong with me, Toaster? 345 00:39:12,254 --> 00:39:13,734 What are you doing, Chama? 346 00:39:14,648 --> 00:39:16,824 You think you got, like, a choice, really? 347 00:39:18,521 --> 00:39:21,133 A la maquina, dummy. Not even. 348 00:39:23,135 --> 00:39:24,415 Okay, when we was, like, born... 349 00:39:25,485 --> 00:39:28,488 let's say God, yeah, God. 350 00:39:28,923 --> 00:39:30,229 You know, God was like... 351 00:39:33,145 --> 00:39:35,799 "I'm gonna make this child super smart. 352 00:39:35,930 --> 00:39:37,497 And then this one? 353 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,238 This one is gonna be dumb as crackers. 354 00:39:39,368 --> 00:39:41,457 And then this one? Oh, you know what? 355 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:44,199 That one is gonna get a fucking mental illness, 356 00:39:44,286 --> 00:39:46,941 hell yeah, because that'll be fucking fun, no? 357 00:39:47,072 --> 00:39:48,595 And this one. 358 00:39:48,725 --> 00:39:52,599 This one's gonna have ADHD, hell yeah! 359 00:39:52,729 --> 00:39:54,427 And this one, just for shits and giggles, 360 00:39:54,514 --> 00:39:56,646 let's give it leukemia, right? 361 00:39:56,777 --> 00:39:59,432 Because, you know, life needs more hurdles. 362 00:40:00,128 --> 00:40:02,435 And this one? Yeah, this one. 363 00:40:02,565 --> 00:40:04,698 This one gets an addictive personality. 364 00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:06,884 And that one doesn't." 365 00:40:10,573 --> 00:40:11,835 This is us. 366 00:40:15,317 --> 00:40:18,103 We gotta fucking fight until we win. 367 00:40:20,279 --> 00:40:21,889 We're fucking rebels, no? 368 00:40:24,196 --> 00:40:25,806 And we're gonna take care of all of it. 369 00:40:28,765 --> 00:40:29,897 Just not today. 370 00:41:12,766 --> 00:41:14,550 I want my baby. 371 00:41:20,469 --> 00:41:22,602 - I want my baby. - It's okay. 372 00:41:23,211 --> 00:41:25,692 - Shh. - I want my baby. 373 00:41:25,822 --> 00:41:28,695 Shh, can you just, like, think it 374 00:41:28,825 --> 00:41:30,479 instead of saying it out loud? 375 00:41:30,610 --> 00:41:32,351 I want my baby! 376 00:41:32,481 --> 00:41:34,440 And I would like her to shut the fuck up! 377 00:41:36,137 --> 00:41:37,095 What the fuck you say? 378 00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:42,274 No, it's okay. 379 00:41:43,057 --> 00:41:44,537 You can, like, say that one more time. 380 00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,452 Just shut her up. 381 00:41:56,418 --> 00:41:58,498 Do you know what the fuck my friend has been through? 382 00:41:59,813 --> 00:42:01,423 You want her to shut the fuck up? 383 00:42:02,772 --> 00:42:04,122 Just go back to your seat. 384 00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,125 Go back to my seat? 385 00:42:08,691 --> 00:42:10,389 I'll stand here if I want to. 386 00:42:16,221 --> 00:42:17,222 You're drunk. 387 00:42:19,615 --> 00:42:20,790 What'd you say? 388 00:42:21,356 --> 00:42:23,141 You fucking stink, you're drunk. 389 00:42:27,710 --> 00:42:30,191 Fuck! Get this crazy bitch off me! 390 00:42:30,322 --> 00:42:31,497 Fuck you! 391 00:42:33,063 --> 00:42:34,152 Fuck! 392 00:42:36,632 --> 00:42:38,417 - Fuck! - Fuck you! 393 00:42:38,547 --> 00:42:39,766 Look at this place, mija. 394 00:42:39,896 --> 00:42:41,289 That's what you dreamed of. 395 00:42:43,465 --> 00:42:45,337 We can put my mother's papal cross right here. 396 00:42:45,467 --> 00:42:46,729 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah? 397 00:42:46,860 --> 00:42:47,991 Mm-hmm. 398 00:42:51,734 --> 00:42:54,520 Maybe, like, a painting right there? 399 00:42:54,607 --> 00:42:55,782 You could put up two. 400 00:42:55,912 --> 00:42:57,349 What do you think? 401 00:42:57,914 --> 00:42:59,046 What do you think? 402 00:43:04,356 --> 00:43:08,534 Oh, and... oh, I have this doll collection 403 00:43:08,664 --> 00:43:10,599 that my mother found outside a dumpster in the mall. 404 00:43:10,623 --> 00:43:13,060 - Really? - It's in perfect condition. 405 00:43:13,191 --> 00:43:14,777 Well, like, perfect condition for, like, the dumpster, 406 00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:16,241 but I've always wanted to display it. 407 00:43:17,543 --> 00:43:18,583 Where you gonna put it up? 408 00:43:20,328 --> 00:43:21,634 What do you think? 409 00:43:23,766 --> 00:43:24,767 Are you happy or what? 410 00:43:44,613 --> 00:43:45,701 I wanted a miracle. 411 00:43:47,312 --> 00:43:48,226 And I got one. 412 00:43:50,706 --> 00:43:52,099 I didn't need anything else. 413 00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:23,522 My husband was at home with my daughter. 414 00:44:25,524 --> 00:44:27,395 I was at the long bar with my friends. 415 00:44:30,398 --> 00:44:31,356 Boyfriend. 416 00:44:33,271 --> 00:44:34,576 We were all fucked up. 417 00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:37,579 Breaking vows... 418 00:44:39,407 --> 00:44:40,582 and I fell. 419 00:44:41,279 --> 00:44:42,715 Cracked my fucking tailbone. 420 00:44:44,847 --> 00:44:46,762 I put one of those blue ice packs on it. 421 00:44:47,546 --> 00:44:48,547 It broke. 422 00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:51,637 Dyed my ass blue. 423 00:44:55,554 --> 00:44:57,599 So, I go home smelling like turpentine... 424 00:44:58,818 --> 00:45:00,820 with a serious fucking injury, 425 00:45:00,950 --> 00:45:02,169 a blue ass... 426 00:45:03,388 --> 00:45:04,867 all the while, 427 00:45:04,954 --> 00:45:06,674 I was just supposed to be picking up dinner. 428 00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:13,180 ♪ Lord take me home, take me home ♪ 429 00:45:15,574 --> 00:45:21,667 ♪ 'Cause I need somewhere to go ♪ 430 00:45:21,841 --> 00:45:24,974 ♪ My pockets are empty ♪ 431 00:45:25,148 --> 00:45:28,543 ♪ And so is my soul ♪ 432 00:45:28,630 --> 00:45:33,592 ♪ Oh, Lord, take me home, take me home ♪ 433 00:45:52,654 --> 00:45:56,266 ♪ Well I got soul coming out my ears ♪ 434 00:45:56,354 --> 00:46:00,227 ♪ But I ain't got cash to put gas in my pick up ♪ 435 00:46:00,401 --> 00:46:04,971 ♪ Pick up, well I got dreams but I also got fears ♪ 436 00:46:05,058 --> 00:46:07,495 ♪ Which one will win I cannot tell ♪ 437 00:46:07,669 --> 00:46:09,671 ♪ The good King Jesus or the hounds of hell ♪ 438 00:46:09,845 --> 00:46:12,065 ♪ I said I ain't got no money... ♪ 439 00:46:22,162 --> 00:46:24,425 Look who finally decided to show up. 440 00:46:25,034 --> 00:46:27,297 I was out looking for a present for my dad. 441 00:46:27,428 --> 00:46:28,734 I don't know what to get him. 442 00:46:28,864 --> 00:46:30,649 Maybe another World War Two book 443 00:46:30,736 --> 00:46:32,616 with the card inside that says, "Happy birthday. 444 00:46:32,738 --> 00:46:34,130 We got nothing in common." 445 00:46:34,261 --> 00:46:36,394 What? 446 00:46:37,786 --> 00:46:39,527 You know your jacket smells? 447 00:46:39,658 --> 00:46:40,789 You ever wash it? 448 00:46:41,703 --> 00:46:43,183 It's not like it touches my ass, 449 00:46:43,270 --> 00:46:44,750 I'm not, like, farting in it... 450 00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,100 all the time. 451 00:46:48,754 --> 00:46:49,972 Oh, come on, that was funny. 452 00:46:50,886 --> 00:46:52,406 You know, you really should laugh more. 453 00:46:52,453 --> 00:46:53,367 Especially here. 454 00:47:06,989 --> 00:47:08,817 Not sure if I'm supposed to be here. 455 00:47:10,079 --> 00:47:11,864 If you're standing there, you probably are. 456 00:47:11,994 --> 00:47:13,300 But we don't detox. 457 00:47:14,649 --> 00:47:15,824 I'm clean. 458 00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:17,304 We're full up. 459 00:47:18,871 --> 00:47:20,394 Plus, it's 3:00 PM. 460 00:47:20,525 --> 00:47:21,917 We don't take anyone past noon. 461 00:47:27,923 --> 00:47:29,534 This is the third place I've tried today. 462 00:47:31,927 --> 00:47:33,451 What's worse than being invisible? 463 00:47:34,930 --> 00:47:36,497 Being seen as disposable. 464 00:47:50,729 --> 00:47:52,208 I go to the hospital. 465 00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:54,646 Be responsible. Get checked. 466 00:47:54,733 --> 00:47:55,734 Dose. 467 00:47:59,781 --> 00:48:01,348 I want to rip off my skin. 468 00:48:03,785 --> 00:48:04,830 The way she looks at me. 469 00:48:08,311 --> 00:48:09,922 Does she need to double up? 470 00:48:10,705 --> 00:48:12,620 The nurse. The fucking nurse. 471 00:48:13,621 --> 00:48:16,885 I'm dirty. Disgusting. 472 00:48:17,016 --> 00:48:19,018 She doesn't see me. 473 00:48:19,148 --> 00:48:21,542 She'll check my chart. 474 00:48:21,629 --> 00:48:22,709 She'll know what I've done. 475 00:49:34,136 --> 00:49:35,921 I told you last time I wanted to sell you, 476 00:49:36,051 --> 00:49:37,357 you know what I mean? 477 00:49:38,140 --> 00:49:39,944 I just didn't like the way y'all went out like that. 478 00:49:39,968 --> 00:49:41,187 I know you got something. 479 00:49:41,317 --> 00:49:42,580 Nah, not this time. 480 00:49:49,282 --> 00:49:50,849 Fuck you up. Fucking kill you. 481 00:49:52,241 --> 00:49:53,503 This shit ain't over. 482 00:50:00,032 --> 00:50:01,381 Santi, what did you do? 483 00:50:05,777 --> 00:50:07,082 Keep your fucking mouth shut. 484 00:51:55,060 --> 00:51:55,974 Who's there? 485 00:52:00,500 --> 00:52:01,980 What are you doing, Chama? 486 00:52:03,677 --> 00:52:04,722 Toaster. 487 00:52:08,987 --> 00:52:10,684 You gotta go away. 488 00:52:16,168 --> 00:52:17,082 Go away! 489 00:52:25,307 --> 00:52:26,569 Toaster. 490 00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:30,312 Toaster! 491 00:52:30,443 --> 00:52:31,723 I thought you wanted me to leave. 492 00:52:34,839 --> 00:52:36,492 No, no. 493 00:52:42,194 --> 00:52:43,238 I'm all alone. 494 00:52:50,898 --> 00:52:53,553 Remember when we first met? 495 00:52:53,683 --> 00:52:55,816 We were working at some old folks' home 496 00:52:55,947 --> 00:52:57,122 and making food and shit. 497 00:53:00,255 --> 00:53:02,083 Yeah. 498 00:53:02,214 --> 00:53:04,085 We both hated the way old people were treated. 499 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,654 Like they were a nuisance. 500 00:53:09,351 --> 00:53:11,527 Like they chose to be old and shit. 501 00:53:11,658 --> 00:53:13,791 You thought I was like your sister and shit. 502 00:53:13,921 --> 00:53:15,488 You got all mad. 503 00:53:32,635 --> 00:53:34,159 You know what the worst part is? 504 00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:37,205 All of it. 505 00:53:37,336 --> 00:53:38,816 When you're out, Chama. 506 00:53:41,993 --> 00:53:44,343 You start smoking the crumbs. 507 00:53:44,473 --> 00:53:45,997 I've seen you do it. 508 00:53:46,127 --> 00:53:47,868 You're a dummy. 509 00:53:47,999 --> 00:53:49,359 You smoke the crumbs and then more. 510 00:53:49,478 --> 00:53:52,568 Then you put Selena on full blast. 511 00:53:52,655 --> 00:53:57,138 But it's not the same as when you kiss it. 512 00:53:57,225 --> 00:53:58,836 - Put it in. - No, shut up! 513 00:54:00,359 --> 00:54:01,708 Open up. 514 00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,797 No. No! 515 00:54:06,495 --> 00:54:08,323 I've got something for you, Chama. 516 00:54:09,934 --> 00:54:11,065 No! 517 00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:25,123 I'll do better, I'll do better, 518 00:54:25,253 --> 00:54:26,907 I'll do better, I'll do better, 519 00:54:26,994 --> 00:54:28,169 I promise I'll do better. 520 00:54:31,433 --> 00:54:33,479 You lied. You lied. 521 00:54:43,619 --> 00:54:45,491 No, don't... Don't move, don't move. 522 00:54:45,578 --> 00:54:47,536 Is it cold? Is it cold down there? 523 00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:50,757 Please hold on to my hand. Oh, my God. 524 00:54:58,852 --> 00:54:59,766 Toaster. 525 00:55:01,420 --> 00:55:02,682 Are you fucking with me? 526 00:55:03,683 --> 00:55:05,598 What are you doing, Chama? 527 00:55:05,728 --> 00:55:07,426 Hey. 528 00:55:10,429 --> 00:55:11,909 - Don't you? - No, sorry. 529 00:55:13,998 --> 00:55:15,158 I only got a couple of bucks. 530 00:55:19,481 --> 00:55:21,092 Come on. Please. 531 00:55:25,052 --> 00:55:27,402 Come on. Come on. Please. 532 00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:37,935 Come on. Come on. Come on, please. 533 00:55:45,943 --> 00:55:48,293 I've been talking to you and not once, 534 00:55:48,380 --> 00:55:51,035 through everything, have you said anything back. 535 00:55:54,038 --> 00:55:55,126 Are you not there? 536 00:55:56,605 --> 00:55:57,955 Can you not hear me? 537 00:56:39,909 --> 00:56:40,867 Nine months. 538 00:56:44,305 --> 00:56:45,437 Clean. 539 00:56:50,311 --> 00:56:51,356 Look at your arms. 540 00:56:52,052 --> 00:56:54,968 You're a worthless fucking... 541 00:56:56,404 --> 00:56:57,362 junkie. 542 00:57:00,191 --> 00:57:01,471 Why don't you just kill yourself? 543 00:57:11,550 --> 00:57:12,507 Or you could... 544 00:57:14,335 --> 00:57:15,336 go. 545 00:57:16,685 --> 00:57:17,730 Grab your daughter... 546 00:57:19,949 --> 00:57:21,342 and get out of here. 547 00:57:21,864 --> 00:57:23,214 Get the fuck out of here. 548 00:57:26,391 --> 00:57:27,392 Get the fuck out of here. 549 00:57:29,829 --> 00:57:31,048 Police department, don't move! 550 00:57:31,135 --> 00:57:32,353 Police department! 551 00:58:05,473 --> 00:58:08,128 You wanna know the... 552 00:58:08,259 --> 00:58:11,262 two worst words in the English vocabulary? 553 00:58:14,395 --> 00:58:16,354 What if... 554 00:58:17,442 --> 00:58:19,357 um, what if... 555 00:58:21,620 --> 00:58:23,230 my dad was the president? 556 00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,103 Or what if... 557 00:58:27,539 --> 00:58:28,975 um, my mom... 558 00:58:30,237 --> 00:58:31,891 actually wanted me? 559 00:58:34,546 --> 00:58:35,982 What if... 560 00:58:36,809 --> 00:58:38,550 I was born in London, 561 00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:39,812 or... 562 00:58:40,682 --> 00:58:41,988 or Ireland? 563 00:58:44,686 --> 00:58:46,906 Lived on a farm far away? 564 00:58:53,608 --> 00:58:55,741 What if when I ate food 565 00:58:55,828 --> 00:58:57,569 I could keep it down, 566 00:58:57,699 --> 00:59:01,138 like, that wasn't even a thought, you know? 567 00:59:07,666 --> 00:59:08,928 What if they didn't say... 568 00:59:10,234 --> 00:59:11,148 it was all my fault? 569 00:59:14,238 --> 00:59:15,500 Make up lies about me? 570 00:59:22,376 --> 00:59:24,335 What if he came to get me? 571 00:59:27,816 --> 00:59:29,122 You know where I'm at? 572 00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:36,477 You know, what if I didn't have to ask what if? 573 01:00:17,344 --> 01:00:18,215 Can't. 574 01:00:20,695 --> 01:00:23,350 ♪ Please don't say anything ♪ 575 01:00:23,524 --> 01:00:25,613 ♪ Anything at all ♪ 576 01:00:25,744 --> 01:00:28,529 Look, I've... I've been calling 577 01:00:28,616 --> 01:00:31,663 over and over and no... Nobody will tell me nothing! 578 01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:35,493 ♪ The silence says it all ♪ 579 01:00:38,452 --> 01:00:41,063 ♪ Blood running through my veins ♪ 580 01:00:41,194 --> 01:00:42,413 Where is she? 581 01:00:48,723 --> 01:00:50,203 Don't worry, 582 01:00:51,726 --> 01:00:53,424 No, don't... don't hang up. 583 01:00:53,554 --> 01:00:55,469 I just... I want to know where she is. 584 01:00:55,556 --> 01:00:58,211 ♪ For that call ♪ 585 01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:06,263 ♪ Ooh ♪ 586 01:01:16,011 --> 01:01:17,099 Can't. 587 01:01:17,926 --> 01:01:19,319 Come on! 588 01:01:19,928 --> 01:01:22,235 What the... what the fuck? 589 01:01:22,366 --> 01:01:23,584 We need help! 590 01:01:23,715 --> 01:01:24,846 Who's gonna help us? 591 01:01:25,238 --> 01:01:27,588 Who? Who, who, who? 592 01:01:27,719 --> 01:01:29,851 - I don't know, I just... - Say it. What? 593 01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,699 - Say it! What are you, dumb? - I feel like... 594 01:01:31,723 --> 01:01:32,898 Who's gonna help us? 595 01:01:33,768 --> 01:01:35,640 - Who's gonna help us? - I don't know! 596 01:01:36,902 --> 01:01:37,772 I don't know! 597 01:01:39,774 --> 01:01:41,385 - We need help. - Who's gonna help us? 598 01:01:41,515 --> 01:01:42,908 I don't know. I don't know. 599 01:01:43,604 --> 01:01:46,651 I don't... I feel... I feel... 600 01:01:46,781 --> 01:01:49,175 I feel like I wanna rip my hair out. 601 01:01:50,394 --> 01:01:52,744 I wanna tear my skin off 602 01:01:52,874 --> 01:01:54,485 and walk away from this shit 603 01:01:54,615 --> 01:01:56,182 I feel all the time! 604 01:01:59,707 --> 01:02:02,884 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 605 01:02:03,058 --> 01:02:05,322 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 606 01:02:07,454 --> 01:02:08,325 What? 607 01:02:09,326 --> 01:02:10,327 Where are you going? 608 01:02:15,462 --> 01:02:16,463 Where are you going? 609 01:02:17,856 --> 01:02:19,205 You just gonna stumble off? 610 01:02:20,467 --> 01:02:21,627 You gonna stumble right back. 611 01:02:26,865 --> 01:02:28,345 No one gives a shit. 612 01:02:29,868 --> 01:02:31,565 We ain't stupid. 613 01:02:31,696 --> 01:02:33,132 We know there's nothing else. 614 01:02:34,307 --> 01:02:35,439 Where are you going? 615 01:02:37,397 --> 01:02:39,181 Where are you going, Chama? 616 01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:08,733 When Abuelo died, I ran away. 617 01:03:13,041 --> 01:03:14,565 Which brought me right back to you. 618 01:03:16,915 --> 01:03:18,525 Do you want them to think you're loca? 619 01:03:18,612 --> 01:03:20,527 Because that's what they're gonna say, hm? 620 01:03:20,658 --> 01:03:22,338 Look at that crazy, going around losing it. 621 01:03:32,670 --> 01:03:35,063 It's not fair. I don't want Abuelo to go. 622 01:03:35,803 --> 01:03:37,483 You think anyone cares about what you want? 623 01:03:41,026 --> 01:03:42,786 Your sister's not gonna live with us anymore. 624 01:03:43,420 --> 01:03:45,030 Her father wants her. 625 01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,486 Take her back to Texas and I'm too fucking tired 626 01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:47,380 to keep fighting him. 627 01:03:49,774 --> 01:03:51,428 Just us now. 628 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,022 Don't be mad at what it is because we're just paying 629 01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:02,486 for something we did in another life. 630 01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:04,919 Here, drink this. 631 01:04:06,443 --> 01:04:07,879 Not too much. 632 01:04:08,009 --> 01:04:09,409 Just enough to make you feel better. 633 01:05:08,766 --> 01:05:10,126 I thought you looked thirsty, mama. 634 01:05:15,207 --> 01:05:17,007 Chart's looking like you're eight weeks along. 635 01:05:17,862 --> 01:05:19,385 Someone talk to you about your options? 636 01:05:23,215 --> 01:05:24,521 It's okay, mama, take your time. 637 01:05:33,573 --> 01:05:34,748 Thank you. 638 01:05:35,706 --> 01:05:36,770 You think you gotta keep it yourself, 639 01:05:36,794 --> 01:05:38,360 but you don't. 640 01:05:39,274 --> 01:05:40,904 I don't know what direction you gonna go with this pregnancy, 641 01:05:40,928 --> 01:05:43,235 but we can help you safely transition. 642 01:05:43,365 --> 01:05:44,845 Detox that stuff out your system. 643 01:05:46,717 --> 01:05:47,979 Or you can continue your way. 644 01:05:50,851 --> 01:05:52,766 You got two options here. 645 01:05:52,897 --> 01:05:55,334 First, you leave, then there's the second one. 646 01:06:03,124 --> 01:06:04,648 I know I'll see her face again. 647 01:06:11,306 --> 01:06:12,525 The bedpost. 648 01:06:13,831 --> 01:06:14,658 The ceiling. 649 01:06:15,876 --> 01:06:16,747 The mole. 650 01:06:17,835 --> 01:06:19,314 The itch. 651 01:06:19,445 --> 01:06:20,794 Did you hear that? 652 01:06:26,365 --> 01:06:28,062 I know I'll see her face again. 653 01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,722 The bedpost. The ceiling. 654 01:06:36,941 --> 01:06:38,638 The mole. The itch. 655 01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:52,957 I know I'll see her face again. 656 01:07:00,181 --> 01:07:03,184 The bedpost. The ceiling. The mole. 657 01:07:03,315 --> 01:07:04,446 You're looking better. 658 01:07:08,059 --> 01:07:09,887 I know I'll see her face again. 659 01:07:10,017 --> 01:07:11,257 I know I'll see her face again. 660 01:07:11,323 --> 01:07:12,759 You're looking better. 661 01:07:12,890 --> 01:07:14,282 I know I'll see her face again. 662 01:07:14,413 --> 01:07:15,719 You're looking better. 663 01:07:15,849 --> 01:07:17,089 I know I'll see her face again! 664 01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:32,649 First time here? 665 01:07:37,218 --> 01:07:39,394 They think we're all crazy. 666 01:07:39,525 --> 01:07:41,125 Kind of makes me wanna pop their eye out. 667 01:07:42,441 --> 01:07:44,661 I'm Nell. 668 01:07:48,795 --> 01:07:49,796 Chama. 669 01:07:50,797 --> 01:07:51,798 Like the town. 670 01:07:54,322 --> 01:07:55,672 Chama, New Mexico. 671 01:08:02,896 --> 01:08:04,855 Everything is out to beat us, 672 01:08:05,725 --> 01:08:07,965 but I'm just biding my minutes 'til I get into Guadalupe. 673 01:08:13,733 --> 01:08:14,693 Is this your first time? 674 01:08:16,083 --> 01:08:17,084 Sixth. 675 01:08:22,350 --> 01:08:23,482 See you later. 676 01:08:31,359 --> 01:08:32,186 Bedpost. 677 01:08:35,842 --> 01:08:36,713 Ceiling. 678 01:08:46,287 --> 01:08:47,680 Boredom. 679 01:08:56,297 --> 01:08:57,559 Itch. 680 01:09:01,346 --> 01:09:03,391 Not as sick. 681 01:09:13,967 --> 01:09:15,162 I was in my Grandma's double-wide 682 01:09:15,186 --> 01:09:16,491 playing with her cat. 683 01:09:16,970 --> 01:09:18,330 Her neighbor stopped over and asked 684 01:09:18,450 --> 01:09:19,610 if I wanted to try something. 685 01:09:20,408 --> 01:09:22,193 I was like, "How does it feel?" 686 01:09:22,323 --> 01:09:24,043 He was like, "Don't be a baby. Just try it." 687 01:09:25,631 --> 01:09:27,285 So I smoked meth out of a light bulb. 688 01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:29,973 I was like, "I don't even feel anything." 689 01:09:31,028 --> 01:09:33,900 Then it was days later 690 01:09:34,031 --> 01:09:35,772 and there was no concept of where time went. 691 01:09:35,902 --> 01:09:38,513 All I know is Grandma's cat was dead 692 01:09:38,644 --> 01:09:40,037 and I missed my 16th birthday. 693 01:09:48,610 --> 01:09:52,092 I was just thinking how fucking awesome life is. 694 01:09:52,223 --> 01:09:55,052 I know. We have clothes and groceries. 695 01:09:55,182 --> 01:09:56,836 Mom's not snorting dust off the carpet 696 01:09:56,967 --> 01:09:58,838 and we have college funds. 697 01:09:58,969 --> 01:10:00,889 I'm so glad you're not fuck ups like Tina's kids. 698 01:10:00,971 --> 01:10:03,060 They smell like garbage. 699 01:10:03,190 --> 01:10:04,994 You're also lucky to have a house with a working heater. 700 01:10:05,018 --> 01:10:06,324 Do people live without a heater? 701 01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:07,847 Oh, yes. 702 01:10:07,934 --> 01:10:09,762 Because usually those people 703 01:10:09,849 --> 01:10:11,677 are fucking strangers for coke. 704 01:10:13,244 --> 01:10:15,115 - Hey, Nick. - Hello. 705 01:10:20,338 --> 01:10:21,643 Bring back a chicharrón? 706 01:10:22,862 --> 01:10:23,820 Huh? 707 01:10:25,082 --> 01:10:26,605 Are you even New Mexican? 708 01:10:28,085 --> 01:10:30,043 Born and raised. 709 01:10:30,174 --> 01:10:32,014 You're as New Mexican as Taco Bell green chili. 710 01:10:32,350 --> 01:10:34,569 There, you see? You do have jokes. 711 01:10:34,656 --> 01:10:36,136 They're not necessarily good, but... 712 01:10:56,722 --> 01:10:59,681 ♪ I'm gettin' better, gettin' better all the time ♪ 713 01:11:04,121 --> 01:11:05,949 Hey, hey, hold up. 714 01:11:06,079 --> 01:11:07,298 Hold up. You got a place to go? 715 01:11:09,126 --> 01:11:10,388 Yeah, sure. 716 01:11:11,041 --> 01:11:13,173 There's other spots you can try. 717 01:11:13,260 --> 01:11:15,700 Yeah, everyone's really rolling out the red carpet these days. 718 01:11:23,096 --> 01:11:25,055 Francis, don't. 719 01:11:25,403 --> 01:11:27,187 Come on, Francis. 720 01:11:27,318 --> 01:11:29,407 'Cause I ain't got nothing left! 721 01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:31,409 Please, will you just go inside? 722 01:11:31,496 --> 01:11:32,714 Francis. 723 01:11:38,111 --> 01:11:39,417 People come and go. 724 01:11:39,547 --> 01:11:41,288 If you want it, you want it. 725 01:11:41,419 --> 01:11:44,335 If you don't, don't take someone else's bed. 726 01:11:45,249 --> 01:11:47,089 There's a box of donated clothes in the corner. 727 01:11:52,996 --> 01:11:54,040 Looks like you made it. 728 01:12:21,546 --> 01:12:22,721 Look... 729 01:12:25,158 --> 01:12:26,278 I don't know what I'm doing. 730 01:12:28,248 --> 01:12:29,119 Are you on anything? 731 01:12:31,034 --> 01:12:32,122 No, I'm clean. 732 01:12:35,429 --> 01:12:36,996 Plus, I don't even got any money. 733 01:12:37,736 --> 01:12:39,016 Has that ever stopped you before? 734 01:12:43,046 --> 01:12:43,960 Whatever. 735 01:12:57,190 --> 01:12:58,278 I'm not gonna fuck you. 736 01:13:03,414 --> 01:13:04,284 I'm sorry. 737 01:13:12,423 --> 01:13:13,511 Why are you here? 738 01:13:14,251 --> 01:13:16,688 Because I need to get my daughter back. 739 01:13:25,044 --> 01:13:26,263 Because I need to be normal. 740 01:13:30,528 --> 01:13:31,728 You know what that word means? 741 01:13:32,834 --> 01:13:35,054 The usual, the average, 742 01:13:35,185 --> 01:13:37,143 the typical state or condition. 743 01:13:39,102 --> 01:13:40,103 What's normal to you? 744 01:13:43,454 --> 01:13:44,324 I don't know. 745 01:13:45,586 --> 01:13:46,457 Think about it. 746 01:13:55,553 --> 01:13:57,511 Two girls drinking at a party. 747 01:14:01,515 --> 01:14:03,039 One stops when it's empty. 748 01:14:04,388 --> 01:14:06,172 For the other, it never ends. 749 01:14:07,565 --> 01:14:08,957 So you want to be able to drink... 750 01:14:09,088 --> 01:14:10,046 No! 751 01:14:11,699 --> 01:14:13,049 I don't fucking need this shit. 752 01:14:20,404 --> 01:14:22,449 Look, it don't have to be easy, 753 01:14:22,580 --> 01:14:25,278 but just, like, fair, you know? 754 01:14:25,409 --> 01:14:27,280 Nothing in life is fair. 755 01:14:27,367 --> 01:14:28,238 We'll see. 756 01:14:29,587 --> 01:14:30,892 What do you know about it? 757 01:14:33,895 --> 01:14:36,246 I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30. 758 01:14:36,376 --> 01:14:37,682 My parents won't talk to me. 759 01:14:37,812 --> 01:14:40,206 My first boyfriend ended in assault 760 01:14:40,293 --> 01:14:42,121 and my last one cheated on me. 761 01:14:42,556 --> 01:14:44,210 I would love a drink, 762 01:14:44,297 --> 01:14:45,777 but I haven't had one in 12 years. 763 01:14:46,821 --> 01:14:49,346 Nothing in life is fair, nothing is normal. 764 01:14:50,347 --> 01:14:51,987 But there's beauty if you fight to see it. 765 01:14:57,441 --> 01:15:00,052 You're gay? 766 01:15:00,183 --> 01:15:01,583 That's what you took away from that? 767 01:15:06,667 --> 01:15:08,347 You know what I did when I first got sober? 768 01:15:09,975 --> 01:15:11,175 I'm sure you're gonna tell me. 769 01:15:15,285 --> 01:15:16,605 I wrote a moment on each of those. 770 01:15:18,505 --> 01:15:20,483 The moments that got me down, the ones that kept me going. 771 01:15:20,507 --> 01:15:21,900 Everything, leading up 'til now. 772 01:15:25,251 --> 01:15:26,451 Sounds like a lot of triggers. 773 01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:29,516 When you're done, 774 01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:30,604 stick 'em on that wall. 775 01:15:46,664 --> 01:15:47,944 What happened when you were born? 776 01:15:49,841 --> 01:15:51,103 I tried to kill myself. 777 01:15:52,409 --> 01:15:53,801 There you go. 778 01:15:53,888 --> 01:15:54,976 Start from the beginning. 779 01:16:05,813 --> 01:16:08,425 Cord wrapped around my neck. 780 01:16:08,512 --> 01:16:10,122 It was my first struggle. 781 01:16:17,347 --> 01:16:18,261 This world. 782 01:16:20,088 --> 01:16:21,177 School. 783 01:16:21,307 --> 01:16:23,353 I failed. 784 01:16:23,483 --> 01:16:26,182 If I can fix cars I can fix anything. 785 01:16:30,273 --> 01:16:33,276 My mother's new boyfriend. 786 01:16:33,363 --> 01:16:35,321 My new boyfriend. 787 01:16:35,408 --> 01:16:38,368 He called me beautiful, ugly. 788 01:16:38,498 --> 01:16:39,760 Look at this place, mija. 789 01:16:41,632 --> 01:16:42,981 This is what you dreamed of. 790 01:16:43,111 --> 01:16:44,287 You gave me no fucking choice 791 01:16:44,374 --> 01:16:45,394 and you have to live with it! 792 01:16:45,418 --> 01:16:46,593 You did this, Elena. 793 01:16:46,724 --> 01:16:48,465 Transforming. 794 01:16:48,987 --> 01:16:50,075 Shut your fucking mouth. 795 01:16:51,337 --> 01:16:53,470 Santi. A dealer. 796 01:16:54,558 --> 01:16:56,429 My first kiss. 797 01:16:56,560 --> 01:16:58,649 Curious. 798 01:17:06,613 --> 01:17:09,312 Play the same song over and over. 799 01:17:09,442 --> 01:17:11,183 I stuck a needle in my veins. 800 01:17:11,314 --> 01:17:13,229 My sister listened to me. 801 01:17:13,359 --> 01:17:15,187 My sister wouldn't ask if I came home. 802 01:17:15,318 --> 01:17:17,276 Abuelo used to say 803 01:17:17,363 --> 01:17:18,723 that if you find a black feather... 804 01:17:19,757 --> 01:17:21,019 it's a warning. 805 01:17:24,501 --> 01:17:26,141 Come on, come on, we don't have much time. 806 01:17:32,465 --> 01:17:33,771 I love you. 807 01:17:33,901 --> 01:17:36,295 I love you, I love you. 808 01:17:50,527 --> 01:17:52,137 Where are you going, Chama? 809 01:17:52,790 --> 01:17:54,095 You broke it! 810 01:17:57,055 --> 01:17:59,579 I am my mother's lost sisters. 811 01:18:06,456 --> 01:18:08,066 The dealer. 812 01:18:13,201 --> 01:18:14,159 Scared. 813 01:18:25,997 --> 01:18:27,172 Always felt like home here. 814 01:18:28,347 --> 01:18:30,610 - The river. - It's dirty. 815 01:18:30,741 --> 01:18:32,341 Half the time it doesn't even have water. 816 01:18:36,181 --> 01:18:37,922 You find what it is you were looking for? 817 01:18:38,052 --> 01:18:40,011 - Don't be like that. - Like what, Chama? 818 01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:41,795 Like your mother? 819 01:18:42,796 --> 01:18:43,716 What else have you got? 820 01:18:52,893 --> 01:18:54,939 Your Abuelo used to say, "I don't need a watch... 821 01:18:55,069 --> 01:18:56,157 I got the river." 822 01:19:05,689 --> 01:19:06,516 If you leave... 823 01:19:08,169 --> 01:19:09,649 I don't ever want to see you again. 824 01:19:13,218 --> 01:19:14,828 I wish I would've put my arms around you. 825 01:19:16,047 --> 01:19:17,048 One last time. 826 01:19:19,006 --> 01:19:21,879 I wish I would have held you, felt you, 827 01:19:22,009 --> 01:19:24,055 smelled that lipstick. 828 01:19:24,185 --> 01:19:26,666 I wish I would have been home when they found you. 829 01:19:26,797 --> 01:19:28,494 I hated you. 830 01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:30,540 I blamed you. 831 01:19:30,670 --> 01:19:32,270 I skipped your funeral and Mari hated me. 832 01:19:35,283 --> 01:19:37,503 But I pretend in that last moment... 833 01:19:39,026 --> 01:19:41,202 you saw something beautiful. 834 01:20:07,968 --> 01:20:08,839 I used to be married. 835 01:20:10,971 --> 01:20:12,571 He's famous, I can't tell you who it was. 836 01:20:14,061 --> 01:20:15,411 Okay. 837 01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:18,457 I was independent though. 838 01:20:19,110 --> 01:20:20,981 Yeah, I loved to work. 839 01:20:21,112 --> 01:20:23,897 I ran five restaurants. 840 01:20:23,984 --> 01:20:26,944 I mean, most people only, like, oversee one. 841 01:20:27,074 --> 01:20:28,424 Wanna know how many I ran? 842 01:20:30,164 --> 01:20:31,601 - Five? - Five! 843 01:20:32,776 --> 01:20:35,300 Yeah, they respected me. 844 01:20:35,431 --> 01:20:36,736 You know, like... 845 01:20:37,650 --> 01:20:39,050 I wasn't a bitch to them or anything 846 01:20:39,173 --> 01:20:41,349 if that's what you're thinking, 847 01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:42,438 but I was the boss. 848 01:20:44,004 --> 01:20:45,547 You should see the way they looked at me 849 01:20:45,571 --> 01:20:46,731 when I walked into a Chili's. 850 01:20:48,182 --> 01:20:49,967 Nell likes to talk. 851 01:20:50,097 --> 01:20:52,186 A lot. 852 01:20:52,317 --> 01:20:54,711 She says she first tried heroin at age ten. 853 01:20:54,841 --> 01:20:56,930 Given to her by a neighbor. 854 01:20:57,017 --> 01:21:00,325 She told her father, who went to her and beat her. 855 01:21:00,456 --> 01:21:02,303 She started cutting her knuckles in high school, 856 01:21:02,327 --> 01:21:04,416 but her sister found out and threw away the razors. 857 01:21:06,636 --> 01:21:08,942 All her friends worked at a local Chili's. 858 01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:11,162 Nell claims she did, too. 859 01:21:11,292 --> 01:21:14,687 She goes on and on and on about it. 860 01:21:14,818 --> 01:21:16,776 I just want to scrub a toilet in peace. 861 01:21:16,907 --> 01:21:18,561 Yeah, I don't really like Chili's. 862 01:21:20,606 --> 01:21:21,912 Oh, you're one of those... 863 01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,480 Applebee's motherfuckers? 864 01:21:31,051 --> 01:21:33,880 Anyways I was doing really well, you know? 865 01:21:34,011 --> 01:21:35,142 My husband was like... 866 01:22:35,028 --> 01:22:36,900 Okay, let's check in. 867 01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:40,396 It's a cloudy day out there today. 868 01:22:41,992 --> 01:22:43,352 What's that make everyone think of? 869 01:22:58,051 --> 01:22:58,922 Rain. 870 01:23:01,185 --> 01:23:03,065 Makes me think of my son playing in the puddles. 871 01:23:04,623 --> 01:23:05,581 Sweaters. 872 01:23:07,670 --> 01:23:09,585 I hate t-shirts and short pants. 873 01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:16,374 How about you, Gata? 874 01:23:18,028 --> 01:23:18,898 Go fuck yourself. 875 01:23:21,945 --> 01:23:23,385 That's what my ma used to always say. 876 01:23:25,601 --> 01:23:26,602 Clouds remind me of her. 877 01:23:29,039 --> 01:23:30,039 Every time I'd mess up... 878 01:23:31,215 --> 01:23:33,304 like, when she'd catch me slipping. 879 01:23:34,740 --> 01:23:35,611 "Great... 880 01:23:36,699 --> 01:23:37,874 go fuck yourself, Gata." 881 01:23:39,266 --> 01:23:41,138 First time I came here, 882 01:23:41,268 --> 01:23:43,967 - Nick suggested that I say... - Go love yourself. 883 01:23:44,794 --> 01:23:46,447 Yeah, so now... 884 01:23:48,319 --> 01:23:49,625 when I think about my ma... 885 01:23:51,322 --> 01:23:52,453 it's like... 886 01:23:54,934 --> 01:23:55,979 Go love yourself, Gata. 887 01:23:59,896 --> 01:24:01,419 Go love yourself back. 888 01:24:23,049 --> 01:24:23,963 Ow! 889 01:24:34,408 --> 01:24:36,367 Well, I did it, because I wanted to. 890 01:24:37,629 --> 01:24:38,543 Um... 891 01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:43,679 I climbed out of the second story window 892 01:24:43,809 --> 01:24:46,986 at my parents' house and, um, I jumped. 893 01:24:47,117 --> 01:24:49,772 Probably broke, like, two bones. 894 01:24:50,642 --> 01:24:52,992 But, you know, he was... 895 01:24:54,341 --> 01:24:56,126 He was older, uh... 896 01:24:57,910 --> 01:25:00,696 he liked me, uh, everyone liked me. 897 01:25:04,525 --> 01:25:07,267 And, um, I wanted to see him. 898 01:25:08,138 --> 01:25:11,881 So, yeah, we got a little strung out... 899 01:25:15,101 --> 01:25:16,015 and, uh... 900 01:25:18,583 --> 01:25:19,715 well, I woke up in a trailer 901 01:25:19,845 --> 01:25:21,586 with four men... 902 01:25:23,327 --> 01:25:24,154 that I didn't know. 903 01:25:26,460 --> 01:25:28,245 I don't even think they knew my name. 904 01:25:31,248 --> 01:25:34,294 I had to take Clonazepam, so I wouldn't get seizures. 905 01:25:35,208 --> 01:25:36,888 But one night after my husband got rough... 906 01:25:38,168 --> 01:25:39,560 I took too many and OD'd. 907 01:25:40,823 --> 01:25:42,825 This spark plug is fried. 908 01:25:43,739 --> 01:25:45,019 I got arrested in middle school. 909 01:25:46,872 --> 01:25:48,221 Sent to Las Nunes. 910 01:25:48,744 --> 01:25:50,049 He ordered a youth diagnostic. 911 01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:52,835 I spent Christmas in jail. 912 01:25:52,965 --> 01:25:54,245 When I got out of the hospital... 913 01:25:55,272 --> 01:25:56,229 the doctor... 914 01:25:57,317 --> 01:25:59,058 prescribed me Clonazepam. 915 01:25:59,406 --> 01:26:00,843 But I liked jail. 916 01:26:01,669 --> 01:26:02,949 No one was gonna molest me there. 917 01:26:04,934 --> 01:26:06,936 People always ask what's your favorite number. 918 01:26:07,850 --> 01:26:09,634 I always thought that was a dumbass question. 919 01:26:10,330 --> 01:26:11,592 Favorite color I get... 920 01:26:12,637 --> 01:26:14,180 but it's not like you're gonna decorate your house 921 01:26:14,204 --> 01:26:15,084 in multiples of seven. 922 01:26:16,902 --> 01:26:18,599 But I'm a survivor of suicide. 923 01:26:20,340 --> 01:26:21,951 I tried to kill myself eight times. 924 01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:25,320 I know I won't live to see nine. 925 01:26:26,346 --> 01:26:27,608 So eight. 926 01:26:28,566 --> 01:26:30,002 That's my favorite. 927 01:26:30,133 --> 01:26:32,091 Okay. Should be good. 928 01:26:36,182 --> 01:26:38,097 Wow, nice. 929 01:26:39,272 --> 01:26:40,186 Thanks. 930 01:27:07,300 --> 01:27:09,955 I've already been transferred six times. 931 01:27:10,042 --> 01:27:11,322 Does anyone actually work there? 932 01:27:14,090 --> 01:27:14,960 Hello? 933 01:27:23,882 --> 01:27:24,840 Coke? 934 01:27:27,538 --> 01:27:28,931 Mostly opiates. 935 01:27:31,020 --> 01:27:34,153 Mm, no, do you want a Coke? 936 01:27:37,243 --> 01:27:38,984 - Yeah, Sprite. - Okay. 937 01:27:59,918 --> 01:28:01,050 I never worked at Chili's. 938 01:28:06,142 --> 01:28:07,056 They wouldn't hire me. 939 01:28:13,540 --> 01:28:15,064 Maybe you should have tried Applebee's. 940 01:29:05,723 --> 01:29:07,483 He was a penguin, but he was cold all the time, 941 01:29:07,507 --> 01:29:09,031 so he wore a hat 942 01:29:09,161 --> 01:29:10,946 and a little muffler around his neck. 943 01:29:11,468 --> 01:29:12,948 Nobody? 944 01:29:15,254 --> 01:29:16,492 I don't really know what's going on with my head. 945 01:29:16,516 --> 01:29:18,562 - I don't know. - Okay. 946 01:29:18,692 --> 01:29:19,780 All right, we're starting. 947 01:29:22,131 --> 01:29:23,436 Where's Nell at? 948 01:29:24,350 --> 01:29:25,438 She left. 949 01:29:26,396 --> 01:29:27,397 And if she left... 950 01:29:39,800 --> 01:29:42,151 Please hang up and try your call again. 951 01:29:45,719 --> 01:29:47,156 I've called CPS a million times, 952 01:29:47,286 --> 01:29:48,984 and all I get is the run around. 953 01:29:49,114 --> 01:29:50,811 - They're busy. - Whose side you on? 954 01:29:53,771 --> 01:29:55,425 They won't even let me see her, Nick. 955 01:29:55,555 --> 01:29:56,687 I gotta see her. 956 01:29:57,557 --> 01:29:58,471 You will. 957 01:30:15,532 --> 01:30:18,100 Hey, it's me. Don't hang up. 958 01:30:19,188 --> 01:30:21,755 If you check out, you come back by 8:00 PM. 959 01:30:21,842 --> 01:30:24,628 If you come back by 8:00 PM, you take a test. 960 01:30:24,758 --> 01:30:27,065 Anything you bring back will be searched. 961 01:30:27,196 --> 01:30:28,893 Anything on the list will be confiscated. 962 01:30:29,763 --> 01:30:31,243 That includes mouthwash. 963 01:30:31,852 --> 01:30:33,985 Don't think we're not wise on mouthwash. 964 01:31:23,513 --> 01:31:24,383 We're closed. 965 01:31:25,297 --> 01:31:26,211 That's okay. 966 01:31:28,300 --> 01:31:29,432 I don't got any money. 967 01:31:30,563 --> 01:31:31,695 I have somewhere to be. 968 01:31:32,391 --> 01:31:33,542 Can't get caught up in you right now. 969 01:31:33,566 --> 01:31:34,959 I'm not in any trouble. 970 01:31:36,308 --> 01:31:38,397 Well, you know what I mean. 971 01:31:42,314 --> 01:31:43,954 I heard you've been checking up on Nevaeh. 972 01:31:45,752 --> 01:31:48,320 Yeah. I understand. 973 01:31:49,365 --> 01:31:51,193 You're incognizant, you don't give a shit. 974 01:31:52,368 --> 01:31:54,248 I have enough of my own problems to worry about. 975 01:31:57,590 --> 01:31:58,809 I can't be your broken record. 976 01:32:15,695 --> 01:32:17,132 Mari. 977 01:32:25,836 --> 01:32:27,011 I got shoes on. 978 01:32:50,556 --> 01:32:52,036 I keep thinking about Toaster. 979 01:32:53,298 --> 01:32:54,169 What she told me. 980 01:32:55,953 --> 01:32:57,998 We gotta fight until we fucking win. 981 01:33:25,765 --> 01:33:27,506 Don't look at me like that. 982 01:33:27,637 --> 01:33:28,986 She's taking a shit. She'll be... 983 01:33:29,116 --> 01:33:30,944 Where are you taking us Nick? Disneyland? 984 01:33:31,075 --> 01:33:33,251 Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna take us to an NA meeting. 985 01:33:33,382 --> 01:33:34,462 Yeah, I'd be down for that. 986 01:33:34,513 --> 01:33:35,819 Come on. 987 01:33:36,602 --> 01:33:37,884 - Let's go to Splash Mountain. - Yep, yep! 988 01:33:37,908 --> 01:33:39,605 Come on, Gata. Smile for me. 989 01:33:40,171 --> 01:33:42,478 Here's your smile, Shorty. 990 01:33:42,608 --> 01:33:44,369 Don't be like that. Just one. Don't be like that! 991 01:33:44,393 --> 01:33:46,177 All right. Everybody in. 992 01:33:46,308 --> 01:33:47,483 Hey, what about Chama? 993 01:33:47,613 --> 01:33:48,533 Yeah, where's Chama at? 994 01:33:55,752 --> 01:33:56,752 It's fucking hot in here. 995 01:33:59,408 --> 01:34:00,235 Come on, girl. 996 01:34:04,369 --> 01:34:05,718 I like the sun on my face. 997 01:34:09,548 --> 01:34:12,116 It calms the pounding in my chest. 998 01:34:13,552 --> 01:34:14,727 I wonder where we're going. 999 01:34:17,817 --> 01:34:20,603 If Nick really gets it. 1000 01:34:20,733 --> 01:34:22,735 I told him the truth. 1001 01:34:22,866 --> 01:34:25,260 About the doctor. That I'm scared. 1002 01:34:36,836 --> 01:34:38,621 The sun feels bright on my face. 1003 01:35:00,338 --> 01:35:02,209 Take this over Magic Kingdom. 1004 01:35:02,340 --> 01:35:04,124 Damn, this shit's no joke. 1005 01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:08,781 Come on, Lucy. 1006 01:35:48,212 --> 01:35:50,345 There are thousands of women that can't have kids. 1007 01:35:54,044 --> 01:35:55,350 And God's got jokes. 1008 01:36:00,485 --> 01:36:01,356 You want this baby? 1009 01:36:08,754 --> 01:36:10,365 But I don't deserve either of them. 1010 01:36:17,937 --> 01:36:19,809 My first boyfriend ended in assault. 1011 01:36:22,986 --> 01:36:24,074 Yeah, uh... 1012 01:36:26,642 --> 01:36:27,730 I wasn't the victim. 1013 01:36:35,302 --> 01:36:36,260 I was 18. 1014 01:36:37,348 --> 01:36:38,262 High. 1015 01:36:40,482 --> 01:36:42,527 Made a terrible decision, 1016 01:36:42,658 --> 01:36:45,530 ended up hurting the one person that I truly loved. 1017 01:36:51,971 --> 01:36:54,278 Spent some time locked up, hating myself. 1018 01:36:55,932 --> 01:36:57,412 Yeah, that never really goes away. 1019 01:37:01,590 --> 01:37:05,028 But if you can turn guilt, 1020 01:37:05,158 --> 01:37:06,682 hate into something else... 1021 01:37:12,078 --> 01:37:14,124 you can do something for the world 1022 01:37:14,254 --> 01:37:16,518 that's beyond yourself. 1023 01:37:26,963 --> 01:37:28,268 We're at the bottom of a hill. 1024 01:37:30,096 --> 01:37:31,271 Can you climb? 1025 01:39:43,882 --> 01:39:44,753 The 15th. 1026 01:39:47,016 --> 01:39:47,886 Next Friday. 1027 01:39:50,846 --> 01:39:52,126 You'll get to see your daughter. 1028 01:40:29,188 --> 01:40:30,799 My name isn't really Chama. 1029 01:40:34,106 --> 01:40:36,935 I saw this postcard once of a mother and daughter 1030 01:40:37,066 --> 01:40:39,068 standing outside Chama, New Mexico. 1031 01:40:40,983 --> 01:40:42,637 I wanted to live in that postcard. 1032 01:40:47,772 --> 01:40:48,643 I talk to my mom. 1033 01:40:51,384 --> 01:40:52,472 And tell her things... 1034 01:40:53,865 --> 01:40:55,040 but not in real life... 1035 01:40:55,911 --> 01:40:57,652 because this reality took her away. 1036 01:41:01,960 --> 01:41:04,180 I talk to her, because I got to try 1037 01:41:04,310 --> 01:41:05,790 to understand my scars... 1038 01:41:07,879 --> 01:41:09,533 and not just pick at my scabs. 1039 01:41:18,237 --> 01:41:19,517 I've been through a lot of shit. 1040 01:41:22,241 --> 01:41:23,852 I've put people through... 1041 01:41:25,288 --> 01:41:26,463 a lot more. 1042 01:41:29,335 --> 01:41:30,467 It's not fair. 1043 01:41:33,470 --> 01:41:34,689 But like Nick says... 1044 01:41:36,778 --> 01:41:37,692 "Nothing is fair... 1045 01:41:39,084 --> 01:41:39,955 nothing is normal." 1046 01:41:45,438 --> 01:41:46,526 What have I done? 1047 01:41:50,226 --> 01:41:51,183 What am I doing? 1048 01:41:54,752 --> 01:41:55,840 If I'm not Chama, then... 1049 01:41:58,974 --> 01:42:00,062 who am I? 1050 01:42:15,164 --> 01:42:15,991 I'm an addict. 1051 01:42:20,909 --> 01:42:22,189 I've slept on the streets, but... 1052 01:42:23,999 --> 01:42:25,087 I'm not homeless. 1053 01:42:29,178 --> 01:42:30,832 I'm terrified. 1054 01:42:37,360 --> 01:42:38,448 We need help. 1055 01:42:40,711 --> 01:42:41,581 I will help. 1056 01:42:53,332 --> 01:42:54,246 I'm here... 1057 01:42:55,421 --> 01:42:56,596 and I will be a mother. 1058 01:42:59,208 --> 01:43:00,035 I am a mother. 1059 01:46:02,782 --> 01:46:06,569 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1060 01:46:06,743 --> 01:46:11,139 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1061 01:46:11,313 --> 01:46:15,186 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1062 01:46:15,360 --> 01:46:19,364 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1063 01:47:33,003 --> 01:47:34,526 - Love you, Peggy. - Love you, Mama. 1064 01:47:49,411 --> 01:47:54,155 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1065 01:48:02,467 --> 01:48:07,646 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1066 01:48:07,820 --> 01:48:12,869 ♪ By my side ♪ 1067 01:48:15,480 --> 01:48:21,834 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1068 01:48:22,008 --> 01:48:27,579 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1069 01:48:27,753 --> 01:48:33,107 ♪ All right ♪ 1070 01:48:34,238 --> 01:48:39,113 ♪ All right ♪ 1071 01:48:42,551 --> 01:48:46,598 ♪ Came into my life ♪ 1072 01:48:48,600 --> 01:48:55,216 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1073 01:48:55,303 --> 01:49:00,177 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1074 01:49:00,351 --> 01:49:05,487 ♪ By my side ♪ 1075 01:49:08,316 --> 01:49:14,757 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1076 01:49:14,931 --> 01:49:20,415 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1077 01:49:20,502 --> 01:49:25,289 ♪ All right ♪ 1078 01:49:27,291 --> 01:49:30,425 ♪ All right ♪ 1079 01:50:00,629 --> 01:50:06,069 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1080 01:50:07,723 --> 01:50:14,295 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1081 01:50:14,469 --> 01:50:20,431 ♪ That you'd always be ♪ 1082 01:50:20,605 --> 01:50:26,002 ♪ By my side ♪ 1083 01:50:28,613 --> 01:50:35,229 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1084 01:50:35,403 --> 01:50:40,712 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1085 01:50:40,886 --> 01:50:45,935 ♪ All right ♪ 1086 01:50:47,937 --> 01:50:52,246 ♪ All right ♪ 1087 01:50:54,726 --> 01:50:59,340 ♪ All right ♪ 73157

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